Twilight’s Better Kingdom

by DeathToFlashLight

Rating: teen
Tags: Tirek, Thriller, Original Character, Sex, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Zecora, Alternate Universe
Length: 2976

What if Tirek never intended on sparing any of Twilight's friends?

In a world where Tirek was a bit more cunning, things take a much stranger turn.

Published 2018-04-14 18:40:13 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-14 18:40:13 UTC

Twilight’s Better Kingdom

“It appears we are at an impasse. How about a trade, Princess Twilight?” Tirek said as he snapped his fingers, and seven bubbles appeared from thin air, each containing one of her friends.

“Their release, for all the alicorn magic in Equestria.”

Twilight gasped as all her friends began to beg her not to make the trade.

“What’s it going to be, Princess?” Tirek taunted.

Taking a look at each of her friends, Twilight made up her mind.

“I will give you my magic, in exchange for my friends... All of my friends,” Twilight demanded.

“As you wish.” Tirek said as he dropped the bubbles onto the floor, bursting to free Twilight’s friends.

Without another second to waste, Tirek began to suck up all the alicorn magic from Twilight’s body. He began to grow into a tremendous size, as if he wasn’t large enough already. At this scale, he could squash all of Ponyville under his massive hoof.

Then, without warning, the bubbles reemerged to imprison her friends, one by one.

“But… You said you’d give me my friends!” Twilight said in disbelief.

“And that I did. I never said you’d get to keep them, however,” Tirek cackled as he snapped his fingers seven times. Each time he snapped, one of the bubbles would collapse in on itself, leaving nothing but a sporadic jargle of blood behind.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Tirek laughed maniacally, “All this power! There’s literally nothing I can’t do!”

To demonstrate this, he lit all of Equestria on fire with the snap of his fingers.

Twilight tried to teleport into the Everfree Forest, only to remember that all of her magic was gone. Instead, she leaped and ran into the burning forest, receiving many burn marks in the process. Painful as it was, she persisted.

Finally, she reached it: Zecora’s hut. Or, at least, what was left of it. Since the hut was made entirely of wood, and all of Equestria was now on fire…

“Zecora! Zecora!” Twilight cried out for her last hope in desperation. She spotted her lying beneath the ashes of her hut, engulfed in flames. Dying, but not dead yet.

“Zecora! The amulet! The alicorn amulet! Where is it?”

“Fire! Fire! I’m literally on fire! I’m sorry but it’s time I retire!” Zecora screamed as she pointed her hoof to a specific spot in the dirt before going limp.

Wasting no time, Twilight used her hooves to dig as fast as she could. She was able to recover a familiar wooden box. She opened it to find the forbidden alicorn amulet inside.

Now any other time, Twilight would never even think about using such an evil artifact. But seeing as how the world was literally burning to hell, Twilight gave it not a second thought. She breathed in the deeply, the scorching air burning her lungs, as she prepared for the inevitable surge of power that would soon overcome her body.

She waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” Twilight cried as her fur caught on fire, “Why isn’t this working? WHY?!”

“The alicorn amulet amplifies all the magic within its bearer. And seeing as you have no magic… You can do math, can’t you?” A calm unfamiliar voice teased behind her.

“For Celestia’s sake! I’m on fire! All my friends are dead! Leave me to die ALONE!” Twilight screeched in desperation and threw the useless amulet aside as she felt her life force rapidly dwindling away.

“Cutting right to the chase, huh? Very well. I am Harmony,” The voice introduced.

“It hurts, it hurts, IT HURTS! CELESTIA HELP ME!”

“Actually, Celestia is dead. So is her sister and her… daughter? Not sure where that one came from, to be honest. Don’t even get me started on you,” Harmony chuckled, either oblivious to the immense pain Twilight was going through, or just not caring.

“Anyway, so I’m Harmony. I’m sure you already know about my counterpart, Discord. Well, he’s dead now, and the thing is, I can’t exist without him. Kind of like a light vs darkness thing, if you get me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a tangible form other than that boring tree in the middle of nowhere, so I’m going to have to borrow your body.”

At this point, Twilight wasn’t even listing. Her whole life was flashing before her eyes.

Taking the opportunity, Harmony flew in through Twilight’s open wounds and binded herself to Twilight’s nervous system. Almost immediately, all of Twilight’s wounds healed, and she became impervious to the flames around her.

“Wha… What happened?” Twilight asked, quite dazed and confused.

“Like a said, I’m borrowing your body,” A voice inside her head answered.

“My body, it’s all healed. I feel… strong!”

“Well, duh. I AM one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Aside from Time, Space, and, well, that giant monster destroying your world right now.”

“You’re going to fight him?” Twilight asked, not quite getting the memo.

“Didn’t you hear a word I said? HE is more powerful than ME, as of now. So here’s how things are gonna go. As long as I’m in your body, you’ll have access to all my magic. Since we’re not strong enough to confront the monster face to face yet, we’re gonna need a little boost.

“A boost. You mean the amulet!” Twilight exclaimed, finally catching on.

“Yes, the amulet. A gift from War himself, bestowed upon ponykind millennia ago. Unfortunately, it turns out the pony mind is too weak to handle such power without going absolutely bonkers. But with me, we’ll be able to harness it no trouble,” Harmony explained.

“Wait, War? You mean one of The Horses of Apocalypse? I thought he was just a myth!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Yes, dear, War. Not a myth. Now hurry up, we’re wasting time!” Harmony pushed impatiently.

“Okay. I can do this. This is just until I defeat Tirek,” Twilight said to herself before placing the amulet around her neck.

The effect was immediate. When Harmony entered Twilight’s body, it was something else. She felt like a god. Now with both Harmony within her and the alicorn amulet around her neck, She felt like God. She felt that not only was there nothing she couldn’t do, the very concept of something she was incapable of doing didn’t even exist.

“Let’s go kick some centaur butt,” Twilight grinned as she teleported directly under Tirek’s scrotum. She grabbed his giant testicles with her new magic, tore them clean off, then teleported in front of Tirek, forced his mouth open and shoved them in, teleported inside his body, and ripped out his aorta.

In just a matter of microseconds, Tirek was dead, and all the magic in Equestria returned to their rightful owners. For the alicorn magic however, since all the princesses were dead, Twilight decided to keep them for herself. Including Discord’s chaos magic, which, in and of itself, was equivalent in strength to Harmony.

“The Sun and Moon obey me. The very nature of entropy bows to my command. The immeasurable power of the alicorn amulet… I feel… like everything. Everything! Everyone! Everywhere! All! All! All me!” Twilight moaned, as she experienced an orgasm induced by power itself.

“Okay, now. How about we return the alicorn amulet, resurrect Discord with that chaos magic, and release me! You get to keep the powers of the alicorn princesses, of course. We need somepony to keep track of the days, after all,” Harmony proposed, feeling just a tiny bit nervous.

“Oh. Oh! That sounds wonderful! Let’s do that, why don’t we?” Twilight laughed sarcastically, “Do you have any idea how good I feel? Do you have any idea how good I WILL feel once I’ve consumed YOU as well?” Twilight squealed in excitement.

“Fuck.”

BONUS: Death

“Hey.”

“What the… Who the hell are you and how the fuck did you get here? You’re not even dead!” Death sputtered, caught completely off guard.

“I’m here to ask for a favor.”

“Zombeasts! Kill her! Make her feel at home here,” Death ordered as a group of undead beasts approached Twilight with nothing else but the intent to kill. It was what they were made for, after all.

“Please, don’t even bother. I prefer not to waste time,” Twilight said as she evaporated the beasts without a second thought.

“I see how it is. You think you can enter the realm of death and leave alive? My child, you are sadly mistaken,” Death threatened as he stood up from his throne and conjured a mystical blackbody blade.

“The sword of a thousand souls,” Death explained, “It disintegrates anything and anyone it touches. Instant kill. Would you perhaps like a-”

Death was cut off by the fact that he no longer existed.

“You there,” Twilight pointed at the terrified skeletal pony cowering behind the throne, “Charon, is it? Tell me how this place works.”

“Well… uh… when ponies and other creatures reach the end of their life cycle, I guide them here, to the Underworld. Death rules here. Or, he did. Before you... uh… killed him?”

“Blah, blah, blah. Do I look like somepony who has no idea what happens to a dead body? What does he do with the souls?” Twilight inquired frustratingly.

“He… well, I... put them to sleep. For eternity,” Charon answered with his eyes closed, fearing that if he opened them it would be the last time he did so.

“Seriously? That’s it? That is literally the bare minimum work he has to do. And that’s exactly what he does. AND he doesn’t even do it himself. Wow,” Twilight criticized.

“You see, Charon, we have some theories up in the living world. There are many variations, but they all have the same basic idea: Good ponies have a good afterlife, and not good ponies have a not so good afterlife,” Twilight casually explained as she sat on Death’s throne.

“But apparently, your boss decided that he would rather be lazy and just put everyone to sleep. Giving everypony the same treatment, despite how they lived. Now that doesn’t seem right, does it?” Twilight asked.

“Uh… no? No. No! It’s not right!” Charon responded with vigor, saluting Twilight.

“That was rhetorical, sweetie,” Twilight rolled her eyes, “I’m going to create a new Underworld order. And you, Charon, are going to maintain it.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am!”

“First off, no more of those ‘Zombeasts’. They are both useless and just hideous, don’t you think?”

“I agree. Absolutely. Disgusting and vile.”

“Again, rhetorical. Second, you will review the lives of all deceased ponies as they come. If they lived a just life, they will be sent here,” Twilight ordered as she opened a portal she had prepared to a beautiful and endless field of grass, water, and clear skies.

“If they lived a balanced life, filled with both good and evil, they will be put to sleep. Like before.”

Charon nodded. He was good at doing that.

“And if they lived a life of malice, they will be sent… here,” Twilight finished as she conjured up another portal to a seemingly endless void with a deep crimson glow.

“What… What is that?”

“Hell. Well, my version of it, at least. It’s designed to stimulate nerve endings without damaging them. For eternity.”

Was it just his imagination, or did the throne room get a lot colder?

“You’ll also be reviewing the lives of all the ponies before I got here as well,” Twilight added.

Despite knowing how much work was ahead of him, Charon knew it would be nothing compared to what she would do to him if he refused.

“I have some good friends in there, so do your job well. Or you’ll wish you did,” Twilight winked as she teleported back into Equestria, leaving poor Charon with full hooves.

BONUS: Horses of Apocalypse

“A distress call, from Charon,” Twilight noted as her cutie mark began glowing.

“Excuse me guards, I must take my leave,” She said as she pushed past her personal royal guards, “And don't fret Thorax, my dear. I'll be back ASAP. And when I do, YOU’RE going to be in the form of… let's see.... a hunky white unicorn. Captain of the Royal Guard. Let’s go with that tonight.”

Meanwhile in the Underworld…

“Where is he?” Famine demanded, grabbing Charon by the neck, “Where is Death?”

“He was defeated. Destroyed. He was weak, compared to my new queen. He’s nothing,” Charon answered in response, glaring at the three intruders.

“YOUR new queen? Never heard of her. And she’s never going to hear from YOU again!” Famine growled as he disintegrated Charon into a pile of bony dust.

“What now?” Pestilence inquired.

“Now, you die,” A feminine voice behind them said, stepping away from her portal, revealing herself.

“You must be the new queen! A simple pony powerful enough to kill a god. I would be impressed, except that Death was our brother,” Famine said as he faced Twilight.

“I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“You dare mock us? Fool!” Pestilence rallied in anger and charged towards Twilight.

“Pestilence, no!”

The moment he came within five meters of Twilight, Pestilence violently burst into a puddle of green goo, presumably his inner life juices.

Almost immediately after, a red glow surrounded Twilight and passed towards War. Twilight felt weakened, as if a large chunk of her strength simply disappeared.

“What… did you do to me?” Twilight demanded.

“That alicorn amulet belongs to me. I forged it within the heat of battle. Surely I can take back what is mine, hmm?” War said with a smile.

“How does it feel? Being half as strong as you were just seconds ago. Outnumbered by two gods. That feeling? It’s called fear.” Famine taunted, as he and War began encircling the drained alicorn.

“I know what fear is. It’s strong. And I WAS afraid. Afraid when the fate of my friends and all of Equestria was left to a sadistic giant. But I beat him. And now… I feel no fear,” Twilight said, getting back on her feet and preparing for a fight.

“I may not have the magic of the amulet with me anymore. But WITHIN me lies the power of the alicorn princesses, chaos, and harmony. I am no simple pony. I’m God. God… of justice.”

Famine and War took time to look at each other, then bursting out in uncontrollable laughter.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA! GOD… OF JUSTICE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” Famine was literally rolling on the floor laughing. War was no different.

This continued for a while. Quite a while, in fact. So long that both Famine and War began looking very uncomfortable, their faces contorting in pain, yet still laughing. Meanwhile, Twilight looked as if she was truly enjoying herself.

“What… did… you do… to us?” War managed to choke out in between laughs.

“Just a little sprinkle of Chaos magic. Death by laughter. Never gets old,” Twilight teased as she reabsorbed the power of the amulet from an incapacitated god of war.

“Now I’ll have to find a replacement for Charon… which I will leave for later. Right now, I’m hella horny, and I have a slave changeling back at home to fulfill my every need.” Twilight said to herself as she teleported back to Equestria.

BONUS: Queen Chrysalis

“This is for invading Canterlot,” Twilight said with a slight smirk on her face.

“AAAAAAHHH!”

Queen Chrysalis took a look at her hind legs, both crushed by the immense magical force of one Queen Tyrant Sparkle.

“This is for brainwashing my brother.”

“AAAAAAEEE!” Queen Chrysalis let out another blood-curdling scream as she felt her forelegs suffer the same fate.

“This one is for imprisoning my sister.”

Queen Chrysalis opened her mouth to let out yet another scream, but found she could make no noise as Twilight ripped her insect wings off full force.

“And this…”

“Please, no more. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Chrysalis wept, desperate to save herself from any more pain.

“Is for turning my friends and family against me,” Twilight concluded by grabbing both of Chrysalis’ eyes with her magic and wringing them dry of any optic bug juice.

“Here’s how it’s gonna work, you blind bug bitch,” Twilight said as she paced around her captive’s cage, reveling in the pain she had just delivered, “You’re going to tell me how many more of your fellow insect hives there are, and exactly WHERE they are. And don’t bother playing dumb. I know all your hives are connected in one way or another.”

“Th-There’s no more. My hive is the last one left.” Chrysalis choked out.

“Really? Well, I don’t believe you,” Twilight said as she tore off a pair of the bug queen’s ribs, “It is so weird how you guys have both an exoskeleton AND an endoskeleton.”

No words could even remotely describe the amount of pain that Queen Chrysalis was in.

“One pair down. Eleven to go. If we’re counting floating ribs, that is.”

“I’m telling the truth! I swear! Please!” Chrysalis managed to say through the searing pain in, out, and around her entire body.

“You are a real tough nut to crack, aren’t you?” Twilight teased as she yanked off yet another set of ribs.

“Please… No more… no more…”

“That was neither a number, nor a location. So here we go,” Twilight removed her third pair of ribs, “I’m getting kinda bored here, so I’m going to give you ONE LAST CHANCE to tell me where the other hives are.”

“...”

“You disappoint me,” Twilight lamented as she pulled out the remaining nine rib pairs all at once.

As Queen Chrysalis lay breathing in and out her last breaths, Twilight moved in close and whispered in her ears, “By the way, I knew you were telling the truth. I just wanted you to suffer more.”