Starlight Glimmer laid in bed, bored out of her skull. Sure, she had friends and all that flowery nonsense, but she didn't want to see them. They were too busy gallivanting about in Manehatten, sorting out Fluttershy's Multiple Personality Disorder, or something along those lines. Point was, her friends weren't around, which was good, because she didn't want to see them anyway.
Trixie was busy practicing card tricks for her next magic show to hang out with and she got bored of playing Horsestone long ago. Trixie always played the Mage hero and had that stupid One Turn Kill combo involving many fireballs.
I'll ban Ice Block next time we play that dumb foals card game. Starlight noted to herself, still bored and far too lazy to embrace Celesita's glorious sun as it shone like a giant fireball in the sky typically would. Nothing unusual there. Celestia dammit, Starlight continued, the orb of fire still blazing like it was doing nothing wrong. Why can't something interesting happen for once in my life? Well, preferably something that didn't involve the world being at stake. Or doing my job as a guidance counsellor. Frigging kids, I swear...
Starlight's train of thought on how badly she did her job was interrupted by a portal magically opening up in front of her, the rip in space and time appropriately having clocks scattered about the place, like some hellish hole full of mechanical wizardry and purgatory. Still better than Manechester, though.
A short bipedal creature stepped out of the portal, garbed in strange mechanical armor that whirred and moved of its own volition. Short fiery hair covered the top of the (presumably anyway) female's head, and an eyeglass over her left eye hid her emerald glare behind a layer. Didn't stop the glare from looking intimidating for a being that would be considered short in their home universe, though.
"Hello, do you know the location of one Starlight Glimmer?" She asked to the light-purple pony, unaware that she was the one that they were looking for. "There was a disturbance in the timeline on this world, and I need to have a "talk" with them." She cracked their knuckles menacingly, causing Starlight's eyes to show legitimate fear.
"I happen to be one Starlight Glimmer, but I assure you, I haven't messed with time rece-"
Starlight was cut off as the gnome, in a surprising show of agility, leapt straight for her, right hand balled into a fist and fire in her eyes. Starlight barely threw herself off the bed in time, causing the visitor to slam straight into the headrest of her bed with a sickening CRUNCH as splinters flew everywhere, covering the room in shards of shattered wood and ruining Starlight's chances of sleeping tonight.
Starlight watched in awe as despite the fact that her assailant had just slammed face first into a bedrest, shehadn't even flinched despite the speed they were going at. Pulling out her fist, she noted that it was covered in splinters and bleeding slightly. Grunting in annoyance, the short-tempered short person started moving the fingers on sge undamaged left hand in a wave-like pattern, causing an orange glow to surround the broken hand and the impaled shards of bedrest gently removing themselves from the hand before returning to the bed. With the rest of the pieces scattered across the room however, the lump of wood just fell under the bed.
"Great," Starlight deadpanned, clearly cheesed off at the being that had just broken in to her home and her bed with no rhyme or reason other than"disturbing the tineline", whatever that meant. "Now I have to fix my bed, again. Do you know how hard it is to fix wood? You can't, that's how hard it is!"
"Look, Stardust Speedway-" the female started to explain.
"Starlight Glimmer." Starlight corrected with a roll of her eyes.
"Whatever. You caused a rift in the timeline and nearly destroyed this world. For that you have to be taken back to my world where you will be stripped of your magic and explain to the Council of Chronomancy why you decided breaking time was a good idea. It's simple, you come with me peacefully, or I'll knock you the fuck out."
"Hold up." Starlight started, pointing an accusatory hoof at her attacker. "The first thing you did after I told you my name was attempt to punch me in the face and breaking your fist and my bed. Why on Celestia's green grass should I even consider coming with you peacefully?"
"Because," the gnome shrugged "I'm not even a Bronze Dragon. I'm just a gnome who unlocked the secrets of the past and can bring in long forgotten heroes to help me. What chance do you have against Chromie? Soridomi? Nozdormu, the aspect of time itself?"
Starlight gave the flattest look she could muster. "You're bluffing. Not only do those sound like names from a freaking Oubliettes & Ogres game, but if you truly had these powers, why don't you try me?"
"Alright then," the chromomancer replied, before clearing her throat. "Let's get it right this ti- SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!" attempting to sound a battle cry, she was interrupted by a deft defenestration by the mage mare. Teleporting out of the now ruined room and into the beautiful day, she saw that her opponent was enjoying a dirt nap, complete her head being stuck into the ground like an ostrich trying to eat a worm.
Wondering what the bleeding Tartarus an "ostrich" was, she watched with a chuckle as their defenestration target struggled to get herself out of the ground. With a POP, she managed to get herself out of the hole. Shaking the dirt out of her hair, she gave an ironically icy stare towards her opponent, before standing up to her full height and striding towards Starlight...
By the time she had reached Starlight, they realized that the pony's muzzle just about met with the top of the bipedal's head. Thus she failed to look menacing at all and looked more like a pouting child that a dangerous magical being.
"You want to go, bitch? Fine!" Holding her hands up to the sky (Which barely reached Starlight's horn.) she started channeling strange energy before chanting something in a long dead language. It was probably Prench.
Another rip in time appeared, this time a few feet away from the duo and pointing to the ground. What fell out of it was the truly surprising part, though.
Two unicorns and two earth ponies fell out of the portal. Two pegasi simply floated down with confused looks on their faces as the tear closed up.
"Ouch..." The purple unicorn groaned in pain, as she attempted to get up, but was blocked by the weight of the pink earth pony. "Pinkie Pie was it? Can you get you flank off of me? I think I broke a rib..."
"Oopsie! Sorry Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, before leaping off Twilight's body and taking a look around the area. She looked younger than Starlight remembered, for some reason.
"Well, that was weird." The rainbow maned pegasus said, looking around the area as well with a look of confusion upon her features. "One minute you gals are falling to your death down a hill, next minute we're suddenly in a strange time-thingy and end up here with," she pointed at the two mages, the gnome now a few feet away from the unicorn. "Another unicorn that looks like the egghead and that ugly thing!"
The gnome simply stuck her middle finger up at her. "Alright then, I won't help you defeat this agent of uh..." She trailed off, before conjuring a notebook from nowhere and quickly flipping through the pages. "Discord?"
The 6 mares, now standing upright looked at the gnome in confusion. "What's a Discord?" They all said simultaneously.
"Hmm." She pondered the notes further. "I think I got the wrong mares..."
Starlight quickly took advantage of the situation with a swift pointing. "She's an agent of Nightmare Moon, FUCK HER UP!"
"Wait, wha-" the time traveller was cut off by a swifter hoof to the stomach, courtesy of Rainbow Dash. Wincing in pain as she doubled over, this gave Dash the perfect opputunity to grab her with both forehooves, before flying up 100 feet or so then diving towards the ground at top speed, dropping off her package before suddenly doing a 90 degree turn to avoid splatting like a pancake.
A glorious slam echoed throughout the field, with the time gnome in in terrible agony, the rest of the displaced ponies trotted towards her, circling her and ensuring she couldn't escape. Looking at the odds, she sighed in resignation. "Alright, alright. I give. I'll tell Nozzy that you died or something. Toki, out." she wheezed, before a final time rip opened up and she crawled through before she could take another beating. It closed without fanfare.
Now there was only one problem. Starlight had younger versions of her friends from some unknown point in time and she couldn't risk sending them back due to the butterfly effect. What was a mare to do?
Twilight Sparkle and Spike trotted through the entrance to the Castle of Friendship, crystaline corridors meeting them. Without uttering a word, they headed to the throne room, where a most peculiar sight beheld them.
Starlight Glimmer was laid on top of the Table of Friendship, hooves being pampered by a surprisingly young looking Rarity, as weirdly young and spaced out versions of herself and her other friends were dressed up in maid outfits, dusting the place with an eerie grin on their face.
Twilight simply facehooved at this sight. "Celestia dammit Starlight, not this again."
Author's Note
I keep writing these stupid one shot shitposts instead of working on any of my "quality" content.
Truly I am a fantastic author.
Idea for last seen stolen from this.
You have a nice day now. I'mma go drink more water and regret tanking a crate of Stella Artrois.
