Equestria's Unpredictable Fellow

by TheNoob

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Death, Human, Anthro, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1036

You know the same old going to another world, but with an unpredictable fellow.

We all know the gist so let me just explain it in more detail.

I talked with this guy or whatever his name was at a con. (I'm just gonna call him Bob). Bob displaced me in crazy anthro-horse land with new powers. But does that mean I'm gonna become a Gary-stu hero and that shit.

Nope.

Being a hero doesn't suit me, after all I am an "other being".

But there are a few "minor problems". I end up in a Female over Male world where most males are wimps.

I seem to be a target of specism.

And I also probably won't be eating bacon for a long, long time....

Just kidding!!!

I'll just illegally import it.

And this is not a Crossover with other displaced stories. It is my writing style and mine alone. Want proof? My other story
Powers:
Absolute Spike Manipulation
and
Spike Generation

Published 2018-05-21 04:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-21 04:30:07 UTC

Equestria's gonna need some help!

[In which we find ourselves in crazy magical anthro land
To tell you how it all begins, we shall start at 8:00 am, the day before my arrival. I was going for a jog in the park, yo. Cause, I gotta get that exercise in.

So, I put on my good, neon green running shoes, my grey hoodie and blue joggers and stepped out the door for a quick lap 'round the park. While I was making my way for the park, I encountered an enemy, my friends!

It was a huge ad, advertising low prices, at the current comic-con. I knew I had to run, but the inner NEET within me said, "Hell no, son! We gotta get some low price stuffs at the comic-con!"

Running towards my car, I took my keys, jumped into the car and raced off, towards otherworldly treasures. Walking into the area, I realized that this wasn't a comic con... it was a Sonic con. Let's just say I stopped being a fan after Sonic Boom, yo.

Walking in the parking lot, I spot a homeless man with a can, asking for money. Walking towards him, I decided to pitch in 10 dollars to his funds. Just cause, yo. I ain't a savior or some shit like that. I just was in the mood to that.

Looking up at me, the old man gives a hard grin. "Hey kid."

I stop my slow retreat back to my car, and turned around slowly. "What's up pops?"

He ignores my comment and starts to speak. "What if I had the power to bring you to a different world? Where would it be and what would you do there?"

This obviously some fanfic set-up prank, yo! Playing along, I answer the guy's question. "Me? I would go to... Equestria! The magical, anthro-pony style. And I would try to mess around with everyone I meet, trying my hardest, not to become a gary stu. Oh and yea... powers, yo. I need them!"

The ol' guy begins laughing. "Hahaha, you have exceeded my expectations, boy." He raises his hand up and I see sparkles of different color surrounding me. "Don't worry, lad." His figure begins to dissolve from my vision. "You'll know where your going soon enough."

And it all went dark...

===GENERIC PROTAGONIST, ACTION!===

"Oof!" I yell out like some dead roblox meme. Gathering my bearings, I realized that I have landed in the Everfree forest, like any other, random protagonist.

And my name is even Jack!

But I have the black nigga look, my hommie. Waving my hands up in the air, I jump up and down with obvious glee. "Let's do the... exploring!" And I walked off to parts unknown to me.

Making my way through the forest, I noticed that it was around, noonish? Meh, at least I ain't gonna get lost in the freeist for forests. After walking, and walking and fighting generic woodwolves, I had finally made my way to civilization.

It looks like a middle-sized town/village, with some occupants roaming around. After letting go of the excitement that was brewing in my chest, I made my way down on a dirt path, towards the area. When I finally reached the place, I instantly singled out. No one wen't screaming bloody murder, like in the other fics. They were probably used to dealing with the fucking craziness this place had to offer.

I did notice one certain pink antrho-pony, zipping away like some cartoony character.

Ha, I'm already waiting for my cake, yo.

Hmm, what should I do now? Maybe going over to the that crystal tree is a good idea. It might give me some info about this Equestria.

Ignoring the stares I got from the magical anthro's, I soon reached the crystalist of trees. Deciding against knocking on the door like a polite citizen, I barged into the treehouse, and made my way for the 'meeting room'. Upon seeing the the 'meeting room' a few lengths away, I spotted the Main 6, plus Spike and Starlight sitting on chairs and just talking.

Oh, this is gonna be good.

===3rd POV===

"Twilight dear, I do not think we have friendship problems." A certain fashionista spoke in a calm voice.

The apple farmer spoke next. "Yea, calm your horses. We're gonna help you, right guys?"

A resounding voice of 'yes' rang throughout the room. What was troubling Twilight was that, according to the Cutie Map, they had a friendship problem right in their midst. But how could this be, all her friends seemed to be getting along, well enough and there hadn't been any conflicts for a while so...

"HEYO!!!" A loud voice, made all the anthro-ponies flinch in surprise, before they turned their heads towards the source. Most of the ponies stared at 'him' with wonder, awe and slight fear, not knowing what this thing was

But Twilight knew. It was the mystical being known as a 'Human'. A mysterious wonder who could never be found out, one who could even surpass Discord in its trickery. But nothing could prepare them for this.

The being raised one hand up. "I'm a human, y'all. The name's Satanslaughter Mckillgore." The newly named Satenslaughter, walks towards the confused ponies. "I'm friendly."

Rainbow-haired colored anthro responds to his question with a skeptical look. "What are you doing here? You thing!" She prepares for flight.

He then begins to smile warmly. "I've crossed dimensions, worlds, and I have even broken the 4th wall!" A shriek is evicted from Pinkie Pie, who just happens to be here.. "To tell you this very important message."

Twilight's eyes widen with glee at the prospect of hearing an alien message. Could it be some treasure? An ancient civilization? They were coming here?!

The numerous possibilities ran throughout all of the ponies minds. But what they got instead was the sentence that would spark it all, life with a debatedly sane human male.

"I'm here to spread worship of our god and savior..." He pauses for intended effect.

"...Sexy Hentai Pervert-Legs."

And that was when, Rainbow went to bum rush the poor fellow.

Author's Note

Introduction to my story...
Enjoy?