The Cocaine Clown

by DrRockso

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Narcotics, Comedy, Random, Violence, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Profanity
Length: 1818

Dr. Rockso ends up in the world of Equestria and chaos insues

After experimenting with some strange ingredients, Dr Rockso ends up in Equestria and theirs hell to pay. Can the residents of Ponyville get Rockso back before he goes off the crazy train? Find out

Published 2018-04-19 13:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-19 13:40:11 UTC

Magical Ponies...Baby!!

Dr.Rockso opened his eyes feeling much better after the high he just experienced. “That was a ba....ba.....ba...bad trip” he said rubbing the back of his greasy head. “Where....where am I” he said looking around nervously. The environment around him was completely different from where he passed out at, it was more colorful and a bit creepy, even for Rockso. “Na....Nathan, Mur....Murderface”? He asked terrified. Standing up he looked around the creepy forest and wished he was back home, snorting cocaine. “Rockso wanna go home” he said looking about. Looking down at his hands, Rockso realized he still had a bit of powder on his palms. “Maybe if I snort this I’ll go home” he said energetically. In seconds, Rockso was snorted the last bit of powder and started running through the Everfree Forest completely drugged out of his mind as he waved at all the strange creatures he passed while inadvertently heading towards Ponyville.

On the road outside of Ponyville, Lyra and Bon Bon were having a discussion on buying more flowers from the flower ponies when they heard a strange noise. “What in Celestia’a name is that”!!!! Bon Bon cried out, pointing at a tall bipedal creature in colorful and provocative clothing who was talking to himself while skipping down the trail and saying things about cocaine.

“YOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO” the creature said waving to them before skipping over to them. “Hey there pretty pony....Dr. Rockso must really be trippin...on the cocaine” Rockso said to himself while petting Lyra on the head.

“Hey stop that”! Lyra said unhappily.

“But Dr. Rockso thinks yah so soft, talkin pony” Rockso said still petting her head.

“Well stop, I don’t want my mane messed up....Mr. Rockso” she said.

“Do you colorful ponies have any ca.....ca.....ca...cocaine” he asked pressing his face up against Bon Bon’s cheeks.

“Co what”? Bon Bon asked in surprise to the clowns demands.

“Ca....ca....ca...cocaine baby....Dr. Rockso needs some for later” he said smiling wickedly at the two ponies.

“Sorry we don’t know what cocaine is....I don’t know if it even exists” Lyra said. Instantly the clowns face turned from insanely happy to deeply saddened.

“Yah don’t have any....ca.....ca...ca...cocaine”? He said nearly tearing up.

“Hey are you ok”? Lyra asked noticing the strange creatures blood shot eyes and dropping facial features. “Well, I’m sure Twilight might have the answer” Lyra said happily.

Instantly Rockso’s face lit up like a firecracker. “Who is this twa....twa...twa...Twilight, is she a stripper that does cocaine”?! He asked with a large smile.

“Uh no, she’s the princess of friendship... if you go into town she lives in the large oak tree library” Bon Bon said pointing in the direction of Ponyville

“Giant oak tree......Rockso loves the trees...they keep the best secrets” he said rubbing Bon Bon’s face.

“I’m not a tree Rockso....now go on” she said clearly out of patience with the clown.

“Rockso’s Gonna get his blow and shoot his load” he said as he strutted off towards Ponyville. Back on the road, Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other in confusion.

“What in the hay was that thing” Lyra asked her friend.

“I’m not sure Lyra, but he didn’t look right.....something about his eyes” Bon Bon said looking back in the distance as the strange clown like creature skipped along before falling down, only to get back up and continue skipping.

Trap House

By now Dr. Rockso had reached Ponyville and he couldn’t stop gawking at the strange colorful ponies that were staring at him in. “Hey there pretty pony…….you look sooooooo soft” Rockso said rubbing Derpy’s mane. Derpy squeaked in terror as she tried to escape the creatures embrace.

“Somepony get Twilight” Mr. Cake yelled out in fear. Soon a group of ponies were running towards Twilight’s library as the creature continued to prance through town.

“Hey there you crazy horse…..you know where I can find twa….twa…twa…Twilight” he asked Octavia who was cowering on the ground. Octavia simply pointed towards the large tree in the distance. “Thank you strange pony…….you wanna know what I do” he asked the small cowering pony.

“Wha….what” the English speaking pony asked, as she started up at the wild creature.

“Cocaine” Rockso said softly before yelling out so that all in the town could hear him. “I DO COCAINE BABY……JUST GIVE ME A BLOW OF THE DEVIL’S SNOW” he yelled out as she skipped by Octavia.

Twilight Sparkle was in the middle of an experiment when several repeated loud knocks came at her door. “Come in” she said her attention still in the spell book she was reading. All of a sudden the large oak door swung open and several of Ponyville’s citizens piled in before slamming the door shut. “What is going on here”! Twilight asked angrily as to why her door was nearly broken down.

“Breakfast” Derpy said holding up a muffin only to consume it happily.

“It’s him” Mr. Cake said pointing towards the window.

“Who”? Twilight asked trotting over to the window. Looking out the window Twilight could see in the distance a tall bipedal creature in the most ridiculous clothing strutting towards her library while yelling the word “cocaine” repeatedly.

“What does he want, and why are all your ponies scared of him” she said turning to the others.

“He’s so creepy and he won’t quit asking about this…..this….cocaine” Berrypunch said raising her forearms up in confusion.

“Well I don’t know what cocaine is, but we shouldn’t treat others any different just because they’re different” Twilight said thinking back to the time when Ponyville first met Zecora. With her magic Twilight opened the door and placed the ponies out on her doorstep. By now the strange clown was upon them. Like flies, the ponies scattered in each direction while Twilight let out a heavy sigh from inside her house.

After following the pony’s instructions, Rockso arrived at the large oak tree that looked like a house. “ooooooohhhhh a tree house” Rockso said skipping up to the door. He knocked loudly on the door “Come on Twilight baby……Rockso needs his fix” he said happily. The door slowly opened and a purple colored pony answered.

“Uh hello….my name is Twilight Sparkle…it’s a pleasure to meet your Mr.?” she said.

“You can call me Dr. Rockso….and I do ca…ca…..ca….cocaine……so you wanna do this here or inside” he asked the pony.

“Do what Dr. Rockso” the pony asked raising an eyebrow.

“Selling me cocaine baby” Rockso said leaning up against the door frame.

“What’s cocaine”? Twilight asked surprised. Rockso stepped back a confused look on his face as one of his eyes started to twitch.

“You don’t have any….ca..ca…ca..cocaine” he said in shock.

“No sorry, I can help you make it, if you know how…..and what is cocaine exactly” Twilight asked.

“Only the greatest thing ever……..it makes you feel so great Twa…twa..Twilight……..I can’t live without it” Rockso said with a large devilish smile.

“So is it like a drug or something” Twilight said raising an eyebrow.

“KUKUKUYEAH…BABY” Dr. Rockso yelled “Don’t tell nobody” he said waving a finger in front of Twilight’s face.

“Why don’t you want me to tell anypony” Twilight asked raising an eyebrown.

“It’s not exactly la..la..la…legal baby” Rockso informed her with a smug look on his face.

“How can it be illegal if I’ve never heard of it, in fact I don’t even know what you are Dr. Rockso, how about you come inside and we can sort this out” Twilight suggested.

“Oh…kuh…kuh….kuh…kayyyyyy” Rockso said as he followed Twilight Sparkle into her tree house eager to get his fix of cocaine.

The Special Ingredients

Dr. Rockso walked quietly down the hallway of the Dethklok fortress, it was late at night and most of the people in the fortress were asleep with the exception of a few guards. Rockso had not had his fix of cocaine all day and he was starting to sketch out. “Dr. Rockso gotta get his ca....ca....ca...cocaine” he said softly to himself as he started to scratch his arm vigorously. The members of Dethklok, but especially Toki, has isolated Dr. Rockso in his room to help him get off of cocaine. Rockso however,was far more clever than they expected and managed to break out. After searching each room and every hiding place he could think of, Dr. Rockso was beginning to lose it. “I NEED MAH COCAINE AND I NEED IT NUH....NUH....NUH....NOW” he complained loudly. Walking past each band members bedrooms, Dr. Rockso made his way to the seance room where the band would summon ancient evil and shit. Entering the room, Dr Rockso started to smile wickedly, if he couldn’t have cocaine he would find something else to get high on.

“Dr. Rockso gotta get cookin” Rockso said as he looked over the ingredients and mixtures that lines the walls. Grabbing random bottles and powders off the shelves, he poured them into a large mixing bowl and proceeded to grind them up. The mixture was a combination of many different things, from the ashes of dead fans to baking soda. Pouring the powder into the table with a large insane smile, Dr. Rockso thrust his face deep into the pile of substances and inhaled deeply through his nose. The strange substance went up his nose at lightning speed as he stepped back his eyes going wide. “Oh my....guh...guh...guh....God” Rockso said as his eyes snapped wide open and colors started to fill his vision. Soon the room was beginning to distort as energy crackled throughout the room. Suddenly bright light poured from Rockso’s eyes as he yelled at the top of his lungs “I AM DR. ROCKSO THE ROCK AND ROLL CLOWN.....AND I DO FUCKING COCAINE”!!!!!!

The room started to spin as beams of light shot everywhere across the room. “What the hell is going on here”!!?? Nathan Explosions voice rang down the hallway. Within minutes Nathan and Murderface came running into the room and suddenly stopped at the scene in front of them.

Dr. Rockso was standing in the middle of the room with a large pile of powder like substance sitting on the table with some of it caking Rockso’s face. Rockso was rambling incoherently andvery fast, blood was dripping from his eyes and nose. “Ca....ca.....ca...ca...ca....cocaine” he sputtered. Nathan and Murderface noticed that Rockso’s eyes were wide open and he was foaming at the mouth at the same time, no doubt a result of a bad drug trip.

“Rockso, the fuck are you doing”!!?? Nathan bellowed angerly as he and Murderface approached him.

“Rockso’s taking a trip on an airline made of snow” he said giddily before collapsing to the ground.

“Oh shit, he’s ODing, Murderface get the defibrillator” Nathan yelled. Murderface grumled to himself as he slowly left the room, clearly not caring if the cocaine addicted clown who ruined his life lived or died. Neither Murderface nor Nathan knew that Rockso had went to the land of the ponies.