My Random Dream

“I look like an old man… I feel like an old man.” I was on my way to the agreed rendezvous, Sugar Cube Corner. Why Rainbow had sent a message via Sweetie Belle, I have no idea, but I was also questioning why she’d pick Sugar Cube Corner. She may not have been the fancy pony Rarity was, but I was sure she’d know this wasn’t exactly the best place for her to go as unnoticed as possible in a dress.

“Stop moaning. You look good. Hell, I’d do anything for a date with Rainbow Dash, and look half as good.” I looked to the orange filly and gave her a look of disproval. I smiled when she started to blush at what she had said. “That came out wrong…”

“I’m sure it did. But I don’t think this is a date. I blackmailed Dash into coming and hanging out, and she challenged me to a ‘who can make the other more embarrassed’ competition.” I explain to Scootaloo the situation, as she had dozed through it. She sighed and murmured something about it was Dash we were talking about and that she wasn’t very conventional “when it came to relationships.”

While I sat there waiting for her to arrive, I thought about Scootaloo’s less than enthusiastic mumblings. I suppose Dash’s personality wouldn’t let anything slow her down, let alone another being. Although I had scarcely given it thought, Dash would probably be the type to be in a love-hate relationship, built on one-upping each other. It was quite amusing to think that, considering that our first meeting had instantly involved Dash trying to one up me. It was almost like she’d…

“Hey, why are you blushing?” Scootaloo was staring me up and down, looking to see what had happened. I’d realised I’d accepted. Surely she didn’t think that this was a date. I’d blackmailed her. She’d disliked the idea of going until she brought up the dare. But I couldn’t help my mind wondering about the idea. Dash was pretty cool. I could list several attractive qualities she had, and maybe even more if you expanded on the idea of attractive.

“No” I exclaimed, almost shouting at the filly in front of me, causing her to jump in shock. I took a breath as I came to my senses and realised what had happened. My mind was way too curious; I thought I’d learnt that earlier in life. I had to block the ideas of Dash and me out of my head. We were friends, meeting up at a sweet shop, to chat and mess about. Not in that way! Oh Celestia, this was going to be torture trying to keep the images that were forming from clouding my judgement. I was almost certainly going to be doomed, if not shunned by Rainbow for insinuating she goes out with someone like me. She was way too cool; I was just a slightly nerdy teenager that shares her love of athletic activities and challenges. And besides, I just couldn’t. I had to go home at some point, didn’t I? I couldn’t leave like that without harm some pony that I’d grown close to. It wasn’t for me to decide. I had to do the right thing here, didn’t I? Right?

“Connor? Could I speak with you a moment, darling?” A voice had called me from the back and I had wanted to remain in one place, but Scootaloo’s awkward silence when I looked to her for advice prevented me from staying. I sighed and excused myself. I peered around for the voice. I realised that Sugar Cube Corner was shut for the night and that I was sitting at the only table, in the middle of the place. And I hadn’t seen Pinkie for that matter. I wonder where she was hiding.

As I walked into the only room leading off from the main restaurant, I noticed something I probably would have missed if I hadn’t banged my shin against it. “Owowow…Oh” I whispered to myself. A trail of kitchen utensils, covered in a variety of colourful icings, sprinkles and dough.  I waded through the mess and found myself face to face with a pile of rainbow coloured doughnuts. Every single sprinkle seemed to be place perfectly. My mouth was watering as I looked on. Not only had I not eaten anything but an apple Scootaloo had brought along to the fitting session, I hadn’t had anything sugary and I get paranoid when I get low on energy as well as feeling ill. I didn’t want to go out to Rainbow Dash and whine about it. I could surely have one, no?

I stared at them, salivating. I was convinced an angel and devil would pop up on my shoulders. I wouldn’t have held out much longer if Pinkie hadn’t snored, from behind the counter. It made me jump and finally broke my concentration of the best doughnuts I’d ever seen. As I caught my breath, I peered over the table top to see a fairly cute sight. Opposed to what I would have thought, Pinkie was laying atop of Jamie, using his stomach and chest as a pillow. She seemed to be hugging him and keep rubbing her head against his chest. Jamie was smiling and had a hand on Pinkie’s neck. I let out a small d’aww as I broke into a smile.

“I almost tripped over them when I came here earlier. But alas, I thought it was cute too.” I looked up to the speaker to find Rarity nevertheless. She looked worried. “Er...Hello, Connor. May I ask where you found your attire? I can say I’ve seen anything like it.” She had to hold a hoof to her mouth to stifle a giggle that formed as she looked me up and down.

“Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle lent it to me. She said it was Big Mac’s. He wears it when going to Manehattan to do business.” I smirked as I recalled the odd conversation with two of the fillies carrying the large pile of clothing and Apple Bloom almost falling over on the stairs. “I take it Sweetie is your sister?” The white unicorn nodded as we both looked away for alternate conversations.

A few moments of an awkward silence passed, where both of us tried to avoid anything to embarrass ourselves and not laugh at the other respectively. “So, have you been busy with Fluttershy lately?” She raised an eyebrow in question, but it dropped slightly when I sighed in regret.

“I… I let her go. I thought I’d be fine with breaking up with her for the greater good of her and Niall going out. But I couldn’t help but feel she friend-zoned me first. I think that’s what’s getting at me. But still, I met Rainbow Dash. We arranged to meet up tonight, even if I had to blackmail her and accept a challenge to get us there.” I smirked as I thought of how I’d messed up, only to get another chance with another famous mare. It seemed very different from my usual luck, or therefore, lack of.

“Good, Good. I’m glad you cleared that up. I thought you’d cheated on Fluttershy for a second. I’d have to do all manner of unpleasant thing if that’s what you’d done.” She laughed a little bit, but I could understand she was just trying to confirm I hadn’t and wouldn’t do any harm to any of her friends. It made me very uncomfortable and I gave a nervous laugh to try and convey that. “Anyhow, I believe you have a da- meet up to attend. Oh, and nice idea getting Dash in a dress. I’ve been trying for ages and she wouldn’t budge. Although you did challenge her pride, which I can’t wholly say I approve of.”

“I couldn’t approve it either. See you around” I replied, looking at the unicorn that had turned to leave. I did my normal gesture of goodbye and made my own exit after a final glance at the sight on the floor. I was almost dumbstruck when I saw that Pinkie was now the cushion and Jamie was laying on her. I wanted to figure out how they’d done it without us noticing but then I realised something. Don’t try to figure out anything that involves Pinkie. I sighed and made my way back to the table.

My eyes widened with the sight. No longer was the little orange filly sitting by the table, legs swinging underneath with boredom. Nay, she had been replaced by the almost unrecognisable mare that looked as good as the doughnuts, if not better. My jaw hung open as I stared. Instead of the Gala dress I had expected, the cyan blue mare had opted for a whole new, and certainly unexpected, look. A long navy dress with white lacing, with a thin white belt around the midsection. It really displayed her athletic physique and natural shape.  But the thing that caught my attention most was her mane. It sat perfectly over her shoulders, possessing a sort of Rarity twang to it, although it wasn’t as styled as her coiffure. It hung down with grace and looked almost like a rainbow coloured waterfall. I had to hand it to her; I didn’t know if I’d fallen for her that very next moment, as she swished it around as she sat down, or if I’d always harboured something. I’d seem to come down with spontaneous amnesia, most likely caused by an accelerated heart rate.

“Whoa.” It was all I could manage. I kept staring as she looked up and noticed me. She blinked a couple of times, eyelashes, accentuated by mascara, fluttering. She smirked and flicked her hair back once again. I think she knew what was going through my head at that moment, because I probably couldn’t have been more obvious. I was currently looking at my own clothing and questioning Scootaloo’s judgement of ‘dapper’, because I certainly didn’t feel it going for me right now.

“I hope you meant current fashion, because I’m not wearing that.” She continued to smirk, knowing I’d be slightly embarrassed by the comment. Anything to get a head start in the dare. I looked to her and blushed, scratching the back of my head. I glanced at my clothing once again. I probably should have gone to the Carousel Boutique for a suit or something. “I guess it was a bit of a rush to get one though considering Rarity spent all evening doing this for me.”

I just continued my disbelief. “Whoa.” She giggled at my oddness. “I-I wasn’t expecting you to go all out with the dare. I thought you’d probably just put your gala or bridesmaid dress on. You look… whoa.” I could say much, shocked by feelings I’d never thought I’d have for Rainbow Dash, let alone a fictional character. I shuffled towards her, focused on nothing but the mare herself. I didn’t break eye contact even as I stumbled into the kitchen utensils again.

As I sat down at the sole table, I finally stopped staring and sighed. When I didn’t look up again, Rainbow knew something was bothering me. “You okay? You seem down.” She lifted my head up with a hoof and looked me in the eye. “Something on your mind?” I beheld the glistening magenta orbs that twinkled in front of me. I wanted to say I was alright then and there. But I couldn’t, I had to tell her something though.

“It’s just, well, I thought you’d turn up in a dress and I’d be myself, making jokes about it and we could laugh about it together. But I think I’m getting a little flustered. It’s not every day you’d find out that the fastest mare in Equestria is also one of the most beautiful.” I smiled as I managed to get something out, but it faded as I realised what had come out. I almost apologised and left, but something she did kept me there and made me think. She blushed.

“Don’t get me acting all sappy. I’m not cut out for that. And anyways, I kind of like your look too. It’s dapper” she said, a hint of embarrassment in her voice, “Or is it Spiffy? I forget which one is which.” I smiled at the complement and refrained from correcting her like I usually would. “Still, do you want to get something to eat? I guess we didn’t come here to exchange cheesy complements.” Continuing to look into her eyes, I nodded and slid her over a menu from the edge of the table. She looked at it and laughed. I peered over mine to look at her. I raised an eyebrow as she explained. “Any sort of Desert. Almost any flavour. It’s not that difficult. I’m going to have a Skittle Cupcake. I haven’t had one in ages.” She smiled as I tried to realise what she had said.

“So Rainbow likes to taste the Rainbow. I never would have guessed.” I gave her a nudge as I browsed my menu to see exactly that. I scowled at it and put the menu back to the side. Rainbow was looking at me, grinning, giving me a look to say ‘told you so.’ “Triple Chocolate Muffin, for me then.” I looked around for a server until I realised she was passed out on the floor of the kitchen. I face-palmed. “Excuse me, I’ll go wake Pinkie. She’s passed out on the floor.”

I got up and turned to walk to the kitchen. I was almost instantly greeted by the pink mare invading my personal space. “Okie dokie lokie. Make sure to wake me up gently. I get cranky when I wake up on the right side of the kitchen. Or is it when I’m on the left side? I forget.” She giggled as she bounced around to Rainbow Dash, leaving me with a confused look. “Hiya Rainbow. Can I getcha anything?”

Rainbow just laughed as I turned around, still wearing the confused expression on my face. “Seriously, Connor, I think you need to get yourself looked at. No ponies face should be able to make such idiotic looks.” I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or be insulted so I just groan. “Skittle Cupcake for me, Pinkie, and I think Connor wanted one as well.” Pinkie smiled and bounced back to the kitchen where I heard a large clatter. I think she hit the utensils. But as a shout of ‘Oops, my bad’ rang through the shop, I realised that it might not have been Pinkie.

Dash chuckled and muttered something about muffins, whilst I turned see if I could see the grey Pegasus. As the exit from the kitchen slammed shut, it was obvious that some pony had left. “Rainbow, what’s with the cupcake? Why you get me Skittles?” I pouted as I tried to get sympathy and an answer. She smirked as the right words crossed her mind.

“I thought you’d like to try them. Better to regret what you did than what you didn’t.” She smiled as she recited one of the things I’d followed for as long as I could remember. “You like that? I made that up a year or so back when I was at the young fliers’ competition. I kind of go nervous, and kept reciting pep talks I’d received. That was the gist of one of them.” She chuckled a little as I sighed. I wondered what to say next but nothing came to me.

“Y’know Rainbow. You’re pretty cool for a mare.” I had no intention for that to come out of my mouth. I face-palmed almost instantly, blushing like mad. Rainbow sniggered. I snuck a look up and saw Rainbow almost laughing her head off. I was slightly confused, but on the other hand, I could understand that she was laughing at the absurdity and randomness of the comment.

“Heh Thanks. You’re not bad either, for an idiot.” The corners of my mouth turned up, and I laughed too. It lasted for a while, until we were out of breathe and had gone red in our faces. Pinkie turned up not a moment too soon. Oddly enough, Pinkie might have been the only thing that could calm us done.

“Have fun you guys. I’ll be out back with Rarity spying on one of our friends. Apparently they’re on a date.”  She winked and comically bounced away leaving Rainbow to sigh. I think she wasn’t the only one to realise that Pinkie knew who they were spying on.

“Rarity can’t get over the idea that we’re out together. She’s been on my back for months to reach out into the world of romance but I’m not one for all that sappy schmoopy-doo nonsense” she moaned, before taking a bite of the cupcake. Her eyes widened and she smiled. I suppose everything, even bakery, could bring a smile to some pony’s face. I decided to try my own one. The multi-coloured treat couldn’t compare with much I’d ever eaten, it was way better. The sweetness of the cupcake was perfect and the idea of the rainbow was spot on.

I was still getting over the idea of ponies being real. Especially being this open to interspecies relationships. It was said amongst my friends and I that Spike didn’t get Rarity because he was a dragon and she was a pony. Although it could be the fact that Rarity would be dating some pony younger than her sister. But I couldn’t dwell on that, I had to do what I could to make this da- meet up as good as possible. I was eating rainbow cupcakes with Rainbow Dash and we were laughing, albeit we were usually laughing at me. It was like something out of a poor fan fiction, like the quality I usually write. But as I thought of Fan Fictions, one came to mind that brought mental images that I’d rather forget and some odd information I had gained around that time that came with it. I almost felt sick as I thought about what it looked like rather than what it was.

“Whoa. You okay? You look sick all of a sudden.” Rainbow Dash, crumbs stuck to her muzzle, asked through a mouthful of chewed rainbow coloured cupcake. She looked at me and then at the cupcake. “You’re not just being stroppy because you wanted chocolate, are you?” I smiled but still looked a bit sick. I moaned a little in response. “I’ll take it it’s not that then. Come on, I don’t want you to make a mess here. Let’s get some air. I’ll pay.”

Rainbow pulled up her dress slightly to reveal a bag of bits strapped to her thigh. It wasn’t very couth and I probably showed that on my face as my heart continued to race and I went red staring at the sight. She looked up with bits in mouth and put them on the table. She peered over to me and sighed. “I’ve got to keep my bits somewhere. I don’t have a hat or a puffy mane to hide it in, I’m not a unicorn so I have to keep it somewhere on me and I don’t have any saddle bags because to me they’re just extra weight.” I just nodded as she lectured me. She groaned as she thought about what I was thinking about, and blushed when she realised. “Oh, you’re thinking about me. Want to come back to my place?” She bit her lip and swayed her hips as she trotted past me, flicking her tail in my face.

My eyes widened as a response, and I stuttered. “I-I-I… can’t. We’re friends, right? It wasn’t a date, right?” I squeaked on the last word, going red. Rainbow sighed, trotting off. I went after her and caught up to her in barely ten seconds. “You knew that, right?” She nodded, although reluctantly, and gestured to a cloud. I looked up to see her house drifting over town. “That’s your house? That’s bigger than I’d thought it would be, considering the size of your friends houses…”

“Yeah, but to be totally honest, I got it cheap because it’s the house for the weather co-ordinator for Ponyville. I bought it off my company in storm season, because they said it wouldn’t survive. No one minded when I only let the storm last an hour opposed to the full afternoon length. Every pony seemed happy to not have the afternoon ruined.” Rainbow Dash, still trotting alongside me, looking like she wanted to be in the air, explained several other things like why the others didn’t have big houses and other financial problems they’d faced that she hadn’t. The luck she’d had seemed uncanny, but I had other things to worry about. “You know you never actually told me that humiliating secret.”

The comment caught me off guard, so I just stopped and choked. Rainbow looked back at me with a devilish smile. She winked and I knew I was metaphorically cornered. “I just- didn’t get round to it. I’ll…um…tell you when we get to your place. Pinkie Promise,” I asked hopefully. I didn’t want to tell her now. If she could forget about it, I think I’d be better off. Even if she didn’t seem like the type to forget something if it wasn’t convenient, I could hope.

”Fine by me, I just got to get the ladder down now so you can climb up.” She flew up to the cloud house and dropped a ladder on me. We’d reached her house in probably ten seconds flat, an uncanny coincidence when I thought it to be a minute or so away. I had to dismiss it as I climbed, trying to think of my darkest secret. Although I wasn’t the sort to tell my secrets, I didn’t have many to hide. My main one was usually being a brony and ex-furry because of the increase of haters in my school (five in my year group, probably around thirty in the school). But I was quite open with these because I never got asked and I wanted to express myself as an individual occasionally.

My darkest secret I think was something I’d realised just since coming here, to Ponyville and meeting some of the ponies. I climbed the final rung and clambered onto the porch, unable to sink through the unnameable solid beneath me. I stood, thinking as Rainbow opened the door and sped inside. “Don’t come in yet, I’ll just find the enchanted necklace thing that Twilight gave me so Applejack could visit… pony feathers, I think she’s still got it.” I sighed at the prospect of not actually getting inside Rainbow’s house. I sat waiting on the porch as it slowly sank into the cloud. Inch by inch, it got deeper and deeper. I was unaware of it as I was lost in thought, believing that it was a lame secret that Rainbow would probably scoff at.

I heard a creak and Rainbow came dashing through the door, only to see me disappear through the cloud. “OH SH-PONYFEATHERS!” I censored myself unnecessarily as I fell through the air, spreading m limbs to cause as much resistance to the drop as possible. It didn’t help that I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and nothing that I could spread like a parachute. I span in mid-air to face the ground. It was a mistake as I realised it approached fast. I span again to see Mach speeds increasing as Rainbow attempted to catch me. I hit cloud after cloud, serving no benefit to stop my fall. I laughed a little. I was going to die because I was too heavy. I was only nine stone, and almost underweight at that.  I smiled at Rainbow as she edged closer and closer. The sound barrier was becoming sharper and sharper as I neared the ground. I could swear I wasn’t that high up to start with. I was only 100m off the ground. I should have been hitting hard half a minute ago.

I took a last glance at Rainbow pulling up as I hit something. A large splash formed as I hit water. I sank like a rock to the bottom in less than 5 seconds and lay motionless as something latched onto me. I tried to cough but spluttered water as I drowned. I was dragged somewhere towards the edge while I blacked out. Happy I’d found seen life in Equestria and would find mine end here.

You can admit it Connor. You think you can hide it. You’ve lost it before, you’ve been disappointed by it, you’ve let it corrupt your actions and you’ve even see it walk away without you, never to see it again. It’s your secret and now no one will know, because you took it to your grave. Now head towards that light over there.

…

Not that one, over there. Not upwards. Not upwards. Come back. It’s your time.

Author’s Note

Well, I think this might be the best chapter but I really bucking hated writing it. I can’t do long stories without making it segmented. I hope you enjoyed this ‘cause I didn’t. But I don’t like leaving things too open ended so I’ve got a little around 400 word chapter coming up to finish this off. If I ever come back to it, I’ll publish a new restart opposed to the 400 words.

Arrivederci,

ConnVolpe