MLP: Living with Equestrians

"Have you heard from Spike yet?" Twilight asked for what seemed like the fiftieth time, forcing Sunset to stifle a groan of annoyance. She well understood the princess's worry, as it had been several hours since Spike had left for his walk.

He had texted Twilight once or twice, confirming that he was alive and not kidnaped. Still, his last message had been at about one o'clock, and it was almost eight now. Needless to say, all the girls were feeling a little restless.

"No, I haven't heard anything else from Spike." She answered, scrolling through her messages once more. "Look, maybe we should think about settling down for the night."

"Why don't we just go out and look for him?" Pinkie asked jovially, gesturing to the girls around, who were all either sitting around the table in the dining room or standing nearby. "With how fast Dashie and Flutters can fly, plus Twilight's magic, we could cover the entire city lickity split!"

"She's...got a point." Rainbow Dash admitted, raising her arms in a surrender motion of Sunsets and Twilight's duel glares. "Look, if we really put our peddle to the metal, we could find him pretty quickly."

"Or we could just wait it out like we've been doing for the last few hours!" Starlight countered, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "He's only one guy, how much trouble could he get into?"

"Please don't ask questions like that. That's when the worst things happen." Sunset deadpanned, before jumping as her phone started to ring. She checked it immediately, and let out a sigh of relief. "It's him!"

The girls all stood up immediately, hastily huddling around Sunset as she answered the call.

"Spike! Are you ok?" She asked, pausing as he responded, her expression quickly shifting bemusement. "I'm sorry, I couldn't have heard you right. Who did you say you were out drinking with?"

Line Break

"HUZZAH, MY FRIENDS! TO THE GLORY OF EQUESTRIAAAAA!" Luna crowed drunkenly, gulping down another glass of vodka with frightening ease. This had been the situation Spike had been dealing with for about the last three hours. As it turns out, Equestrians have shockingly high alcohol tolerance, so the more the sisters drank, the longer it took to go into effect. Naturally, they had grossly over compensated in drink orders, and were now decisively smashed.

On the plus side, they had both cast spells to disguise themselves before they had arrived at the bar, so they looked like regular humans. They were well aware that Equestrian officials couldn't be seen entering such a debaucherous place as Old Al's Bar and Motel. Still, that didn't make their rowdy antics any less conspicuous, with Luna making boisterous toasts every five minutes and Celestia getting...touchy.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I needed this, Spike." She mused drunkenly, practically laying on top of the human, her head resting on top his own. "It's sooooo much work ruling an entire world, and then dealing with your government not wanting us investigating Goodwill further? Ugh, I envy Cadance only having her kingdom."

"Wait, what was that about not investigating Goodwill?" Spike interjected, surprised by the sudden turn in conversation. Everything before now had been drunken ramblings or excuses of confidentiality. Apparently, the more whiskey she drank, the looser her restrictions became.

"Your precious mayor-and several members of his security whatever-have assured my sister and I that the investigation is being handled, and that we don't need to involved!" She sputtered, her voice rising with every word. "As if MY people weren't place in the same danger as HIS! I mean, what gives him the right to-"

Celestia's words came to an abrupt end as she started to fall over, apparently trying to rise during her rant despite her legs not responding. Spike caught her by her arms halfway, and pulled her back up into a sitting stance.

"Are you ok?!" He asked, giving her a brief once over to make sure she hadn't hurt herself. If he had looked at her face, he would have noticed the scarlet tinge that crossed it, not entirely from the alcohol in her system. "Listen, you've had more than enough to drink, and clearly Luna has too. Sunset is on her way. Can you please sit still for a few minutes while I get your sister back over here?"

"I...of course. I'll stay here." She assured him, apparently having sobered up slightly. Spike didn't have time to think about the shift as he started towards Luna who was making a drunken attempt to get on top of the bar while Mason the bartender, watched in amusement.

"Friend of yours, Drake?" He asked playfully as the green-haired man approached, receiving a glare in response before Spike returned his attention to Luna, who had now successfully gotta on top of the bar.

"Luna, can you get down from there, please?" he asked diplomatically, only for the blue-skinned equestrian to look at him incredulously as she wobbled atop the table.

"But it was so hard to get up here!" She whined, taking a few shaky steps before wobbling slightly. "And I can see the entire bar from up here!"

"You can see the entire bar from down here, too!" Spike retorted, barley restrained the growing irritation that was rising in his chest. Wasn't the point of bringing these two here to relax? He felt like a damn babysitter.

"Ohoho, you jest, good sir!" Luna jeered, not watching her step as she continued to walk. "I am no fool, Drake I am the goddess of the moo-AGH!"

Yet again, the Equestrian's rambling was brought to an abrupt end as she slipped on the rag Mason had been cleaning the bar with, sending her into the air before she falling and crashing into Spike himself. After a few moments, she lifted herself up, and rubbed the back of her head, which now had a slowly growing whelp.

"Ugh...perhaps that wasn't my finest idea..." She mused, before glancing behind her and realizing that Spike was out cold. "...Oh shit."

Line Break

Agent 36 hummed happily to himself as he strolled down the silver corridors of the Alaskan research station.

Heh, research. He thought to himself with a short chuckle. Like any of that actually happens here.

Granted, on occasion the eggheads present would pump out a new "finding" or "discovery" to keep the illusion going. No one could really know what this place was about, or there'd be hell to pay, and probably a new world war. Nevertheless, it didn't quite matter to 36. As long as he was getting paid, he was in the game.

Eventually, he reached the conference room, and let out a hiss of sympathy as he eyed the bloodstained carpet, the only remnant of where Goodwill had been executed the day before.

"Poor bastard." He muttered, before the projector on the far side of the room whirred to life and a familiar shadow appeared on screen. "Evening, boss. I heard you got a job for me?"

"Your heard correctly, 36. They confirmed, voice masked as always. "I need to you to go to Sanctuary City for a duel assignment; recruitment and asset management."

"Asset management?" 36 asked with a scoff. "If I don't know any better, I'd think that might mean "Take care of O'Malley before he can spill anything". Am I close?"

"I'm afraid not, though your witticism is appreciated, as always." The shadow countered. "I need you to find someone connected to both Princess Twilight Sparkle and the royal sisters."

"Hot damn, you serious, boss?" The agent quirked with a quirked brow. "Who the hell is this guy?"

"Your everday human. A man as normal as any other." The shadow commented, before projecting a secondary image of a green-haired human. "We've identified him as Spike Drake. Age 21, no family that we can find. He lives with Sparkle and hosts around five other Equestrians, though he has affiliated with many more. "

"Heh, sounds like an interesting guy." 36 admitted with a low chuckle before cracking his knuckles and smirking at his anonymous boss. "So, when do I get to meet him?"