Well... damn.

by the7Saviors

Rating: mature
Tags: Death, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Tragedy, Self Insert, Profanity, Violence
Length: 1428

I did it guys. I made it to Equestria... somehow. Just gimme a minute to stop the bleeding real quick and I'll tell you all about how 'wonderful' it really is.

Hey.

I'm in a lot of pain right now, so I'm gonna make this intro short.

I don't know what happened or how I got here, but I made it to Equestria -- Ponyville specifically... I think. It's kinda hard to tell, what with the massive... changes to everything.

I'll be honest, I'm kinda scared shitless right now and I'm only barely managing to keep it together. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna make it much longer in my condition, so I figured to hell with it, I might as well monologue for awhile.

That's what this is right? A monologue? An anecdote? Idle musings?

Well whatever, in too much pain to care.

Published 2018-04-18 17:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-18 17:40:07 UTC

Hoo boy... where to begin...

Alright, so a bit of context about me.

I'm a brony.

I started watching the show sometime back in... 2013 I think?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Binge watched the first two seasons and followed the show from there, but I didn't really embrace the fandom and call myself a brony until sometime in 2017. Watched a documentary on bronies and everything kind of snowballed from there.

Got into the music, then the pony vids on Youtube, and finally the fanfics.

Oh dear god, the fanfics.

Sure, some of them were crappy, but I have a knack for finding stories that I know I'll enjoy and a lot of what I read was extrememly good. Naturally I got hooked, and after far too long contemplating whether or not I should, I started writing my own fics.

Fuck this hurts!

Okay, alright...

Deep breaths...

Moving on.

Long story short I became a brony late in the game and got hooked on the fics. It's not really important to what's going on now but...

Sorry about that.

There's some crazy shit going on outside and I don't want any part of it so I'm trying to keep it quiet.

Anyway, where was I?

Right, how I actually got here.

You know what? I haven't got a goddamn clue how I got here. I woke up, posted a chapter of my fic, dicked around on my phone for awhile, got hungry, and went to McDonald's for breakfast.

Unhealthy? Sure, but I don't really give a shit -- especially now.

My leg is fucking killing me...

So, like I was saying, I went to McDonald's for... I dunno, a breakfast burrito or something. Things went well while I was there. I ordered my food, the cashier fucked up my order so I got two meals for the price of one which was awesome, and both meals were fucking delicious.

I threw my shit away, walked out the door, blinked...

And then I was in Equestria.

I don't even fucking know, man. One half second, I was on my way back home to do nothing in particular, and the next, I'm standing in front of a giant burning treehouse and people -- or what I thought were people at first -- were screaming.

They weren't just any old screams, oh no.

These were blood curdling screams.

These were the kinds of screams that made your skin crawl.

Seriously, I was convinced someone somewhere was getting flayed alive and my first instinct was to nope it the fuck out of there.

But then I actually looked at my surroundings.

Ponies, man.

They were everywhere, and they were freaking the fuck out -- running around, stampeding all over the place, and even as I watched, some of them tripped and got crushed underfoot, or hoof... whatever.

I couldn't really blame them honestly.

Just from a few seconds of observation, I could tell everything about the situation was completely fucked. You wanna know just how fucked?

The sky was red -- which is never a good sign -- and everything was burning, not just the increasingly familiar treehouse in front of me. I looked up and saw the sun and moon just kind of hanging there, frozen in the sky.

This really freaked me out.

I can't really explain why, but seeing the sun and moon like that was throwing me into an existential crisis. Looking back on it, it may have had something to do with my overwhelming fear of space and the stupidly vast amount of potentially deadly unknowns it holds...

I'm getting off topic and my leg is bleeding again... god dammit...

So at some point, my brain finally registered where I was, and I wasn't happy about it, not in the slightest. Honestly, even if Equestria wasn't burning to the fucking ground, I still wouldn't have known how to feel about winding up here.

Shit was so ridiculously fucked that no one even spared me a glance. They all just rushed past in a panic as I stupidly stood there in the open. I eventually managed to get my shit together and ran... somewhere.

I don't know, I just had to go and do... something. Maybe the Mane Six could help, they were always on the scene when shit went down, right?

Nope.

I spent a good ten minutes running through town trying to find out just what the hell was going on. I read a lot grimdark fanfics -- and just regular dark fiction in general -- and it was a favorite genre of mine to write, so with the kind of shit I was seeing, my imagination was doing me no favors.

I was almost certain I'd find one or more of the Mane Six broken or mutilated or something.

Guess what?

I was right.

I nearly tripped over something as I was running and when I looked to see what it was, I knew I was fucked.

A stetson.

A bloody stetson.

I looked around to see if I could find the owner, and after a second, I found her and the rest of the girls on a weird spiky looking black tree.

I really wish I hadn't found them.

I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that when I found them on a tree, it wouldn't have been an exaggeration to say that they were the ugliest decorations for a tree that I had ever seen.

As I thought back on it, there had been other trees like that all over town.

I didn't mention it before, but there were more bodies.

A lot more.

I'd been trying to ignore them, but...

That's a lot of blood, and I think I'm starting to get tired.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Deep... deep breaths...

Okay.

Alright, it's fine. I knew I was screwed anyway, just... alright.

Back to the story.

Okay, so I was pretty sure I had ended up in Ponyville, but with all the ruined, burning buildings it was hard to tell. I had no idea what had caused all of this, and I still don't, but I was sure whatever did this had already won.

Ponyville was ruined and even from this distance I could see a dim orange glow coming from Mount Canterhorn. I assumed the Princesses were dead or captured with the way the sun and moon were and well...

Equestria was fucked.

An actual chance to see Equestria and it's just... doomed. I arrive just in time for the apocalypse.

How messed up was that?

The Mane Six were dead, these weird demonic trees were sprouting up everywhere and killing ponies, I don't even know where all the fire was coming from -- I hadn't even seen a villain yet.

Just these goddamn trees everywhere.

Even as I stood there in front of the new 'Tree of Harmony' more of these things were shooting up out of the ground.

And then, like the dumbass I was, I got stabbed... in the arm by a tree that popped out of the groud next to me when I wasn't paying attention. It hurt like a motherfucker.

Hell, it still hurts like a motherfucker, and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it.

I managed to get myself off of and away from the tree, running off with a freaking hole in my arm. I tore off my shirt -- which was a fucking nightmare by the way -- and wrapped it around my arm as I ran.

I won't lie to you guys, I fucking wailed.

It hurt... a lot.

The only... the only thing that kept me running... was probably survival instinct or something like... that...

Oh, yeah... I'm definitely getting tired... And dizzy.

And it's kinda getting hard to concentrate.

And I think my vision is getting even shittier than it was before...

...Fuck it.

On... on with... the story.

I ran... I ran... fuck, I can't even... remember where right now -- I think... it was the Town Hall. Found some survivors... opened the door, ponies lost their shit... threw me out... with magic... I think.

God, I can't stop... fucking... shaking.

The... that... the Town Hall... was a bust so I ran... somewhere else. One of the broked -- broken buildings.

Got my leg caught... by one o' those... goddamn trees... fucked it up bad. Real bad.

Made into th' building...

God this sucks...

Don't... don' come to Equesria guys... it... it fuckin' sucks...

Don' even... know how... I fuckin'...

Can't see...

Fuck...