My Displaced Is Misplaced
I Misplaced My Displaced
B_25
“Fear me!” I towered over the crowd of ponies from atop a wooden box—the latter not at all fear-inducing as I would have liked. “I am a GOD from another realm. Unlimited power is contained within me! Choose: worship me or die by my hand!”
Was it a hand anymore? I was making all this stuff up as I went along. Back in high school, I failed both acting and anatomy, which made me wonder and worry to no end. Was my performance believable? Was a skeleton hand still considered a hand?
Or just some... bony thing?
“We will not be scared by the likes of you!” There was a voice among the crowd louder than the worried chattering. From its midst, a blue pegasus arose, looking strangely cute for a cartoon-like thing. “You... you... what are you?”
“Skeleton!” I threw my arms out to the side, if that's what they're still called: arms. “I am the skeleton! I am the king, the creator, the everything of every bone ever assisted by milk and dairy!” The blue pegasus was preparing to charge at me, something that made me smile.
Okay, I was always smile, but it was the period of time where the smile fit the mood.
“I am powerful for I am contained in each and every one of you!” I curled my fingers—still fingers, damn it—as I raised a fist at the charging pegasus. “Watch as I do now to this pest! Fear for whatever choice is left in your lives!”
The pegasus was just about to charge when she then didn't. I watched as one of her hooves raised before her muzzle. Her eyes narrowed and a tremble shook her head. “Whoa whoa whoa. Wait just sec. I ain't doing that!”
“It's the skeleton within that controls you now!” I brought my own fist to the air, watching as her hoof did the same, both of us in perfect, synchronization. “You dare rise against me, and now, your hoof will rise against you.” I smiled again for real. “Have at you!”
I watched. I chuckled. I then laughed.
The pegasus's hoof smacked against her check, and then again, again and again, over and over, hardness smacking against softness, a patch of blue fur becoming darker with every strike. She was in pain, grunting with every blow.
And don't tell anyone, but so was I.
As all the ponies watched as the helpless mare beat herself into oblivion, I too was striking my own fist into my cheek, sometimes cracking and chipping at my bones, which caused me to soon stop our mutual torment.
The mare was no longer strong enough to fly, dropping out from the sky, where she was caught by plenty of hooves below. The ponies gathered around my wooden box of despair gazed back toward me, just as I'd slid my hood over my skull, hiding my wounds.
“None of you are safe from my power!” I threw my hands into the air, and unexpectedly, that mare's hooves struck the chins of two ponies trying to help her. At once, I ceased our connection, fighting the urge to mutter an apology. “None of you are without a skeleton!”
The ponies looked to each other, and with fear plastered to their adorable muzzles, they all fell to their knees and closed their eyes. Together, they chanted my name, over and over—something I once dreamed about happening back at my high school.
Though I wished I'd given them my real name.
“Skel-e-ton! Skel-e-ton! Skel-e-ton!”
Not the best name I could have made, either, though I wasn't very inventive.
It wasn't before long the rest of my land learned of my name. They already knew of my name, of course, because everyone had a little of me inside of them. Actually, they had a whole lot of me inside of them and—this was all just sounding pretty creepy, wasn't it?
I don't even know how I got to these lands in the first place. I'd gone to a local con to buy some comic books. I was really jealous when I went too. There were so many cool people all dressed up and donning exact cosplay of fictional characters.
I'd always wanted to dress up properly in my life. You know, to be someone else other than me, where I could be someone cool, someone, who I knew was liked, who was beloved around the internet, and then steal their personality and hoped it worked out on me.
But I wasn't like those guys. Honestly, I went to the con wearing shorts and a hoodie. I didn't even wear anything underneath them! The shorts were brown and the hoodie was black—the latter once belonged to my father, who was a part of a biker gang when he wore it.
The jacket had bones running across the sleeves, a rib cage on its front, and to be even more cringy, a skull on the hoodie. It literally was the first thing I grabbed out of my dresser. I actually hated the damn thing.
Then I got flashed. I wasn't expecting it to happen, and it really did take me by surprise, though I was pretty hyped. The girl was kinda fat, but I didn't mind, up until I found out that girl was actually a guy. He was dressing up as a fat trap.
I blacked out after that, and when I woke up, I was in this strange land, looking like some lanky skeleton, all with some black robe that covered my body. It didn't take me long to adjust. The moment fantasy presented itself, I didn't question it, not one bit, and decided to enjoy myself.
At least for once in my miserable life.
Before I even went into town and pulled my little stunt, I had walked up to some tree and, breaking a branch, labeled the stick a staff, and said that three taps could bring the world to an end. Ponies didn't believe me until I told them the world, really, was just one big skeleton.
Some lavender unicorn lost her mind after that.
“Sir Skeleton,” I was yanked from my thoughts because of a stallion to my left. “This is the castle we spoke of. Here lie the powers of our world.”
“You have done to betray your kind.” I laid my hand on his shoulder, surprised by how soft it was, then even more surprised that my bones could still feel without nerves attached. The power of magic, I suppose. “For that, I leave your inner-skeleton free to—“
“Do you really have to say that?”
“Say what now?”
“Inner skeleton.” The stallion stepped away from me and my hold. “There's no way for a skeleton to be outside of us, so it's kinda already known that they're inner.”
“What if you are dead and I have pulled your skeleton out from your body.”
“I suppose that makes sense.” The stallion tilted his head. “But then why would you be referring to the dead? They wouldn't be able to talk back, so my original point still stands.”
“Your original skeleton will still be standing if you keep this up.”
“...a pony can only have one skeleton, sir, at least around here.”
“Do not tell the king of skeletons what a skeleton can or can not do, what they can be or not to be and—oh to hell with it.” I flicked my hand down the road we'd come from. “Leave me be and ignite the life of my cult. You will be one of its many leaders.”
“What's a cult?”
“Something that goes with classic.” I flicked both of my hands only because I was serious. “Not go! Be gone with you.”
The stallion nodded and turn around, galloping down the long road, descending the slope of the mountain we had both come to. Turning around, gates of gold faced me whole, a booming city called Canterlot.
“Aw crap.” I looked down at my side. “I forgot to bring my box.”
“Stand down, sister, he is too strong for both of us.”
To be honest with you, I wasn't. These princesses actually had flipping power! Like, real magic! Card tricks were beneath them—they were the real deal. I thought wings were taking things kind far, but that stuff shooting out their horns was something else.
They'd nearly got me with a blast of power. We were in the throne room and I had leaped behind a pillar. When the magic was done, I had come out, this time, with both of my hands raised. Things were getting seriously as I controlled one hoof on each sister.
They tried charging their magic again, but this time, I knew how to do away with it.
Real quick: try thinking. Can be about anything. Thinking? Good. Now try bashing your hand into your head and see how well you can keep thinking. Now try to perform an imaginary spell that can cause mass destruction to a single individual.
Couldn't do it? Don't sweat it. Neither could they.
“To beat us by beating his own head!” Luna cried while falling to her knees. “He must posse infinite power to play such a jest on us. Pondering the extent of his ability would only drive us mad!”
Just one ability. I can control your skeleton. But I wasn't about to tell them that.
“Madness is not something I want to impart on you.” I released my control over the two, trusting them to remain passive. I was screwed if they did otherwise. “I am from another world that worshipped me when I was young, but as I grew older in age, they became ungrateful for my existence.”
Leaving childhood really was a pain in the ass.
“I ended that world once they grew intolerant.” I walked passed the sisters, feeling my chest hurt in anxiety despite my not having a heart. At once, I was taking the steps to the throne. “I come here expecting to be praised, to be admired, to be loved.”
“Then we need not be enemy!” The dark blue one cried up at me. “These lands are built on love and friendship. Respect is given freely and scorn is rarely found!”
“I actually meant lovemaking.” I took a seat on my throne, and the power from that, of finally being kind was dwarfed by how uncomfortable the air had become. “You know, having the stuff to look at, grab at, and then—“
“We... understand your desires.” The white one rose and came to the steps of the throne, standing tall bur remaining passive. Thank goodness for that. “If we were to treat you in a way that pleases you, then will you assure no doom will spill onto our lands?”
“Give me money, mares, and plenty of attention, and you got yourself a deal.”
The two sisters looked at each other.
“That we can be arranged.” The dark blue one stared at me for a second. “Forgive me for asking this, lord, but are you of a gender similar to male?”
“Of course I'm a man!” I shook my head and thought for a second. “Wait. Why the sudden question?”
“My sister and I...” the white one stepped forward, choosing her words very carefully, “...we were just wondering if, between your legs, you operate as most of our males do.”
If I had eyes, they would be blinking. If I had a heart, it would be pounding. And when I looked down my robe and at my crotch, if I had something there, I wouldn't have been found screaming until the end of the night.
My son hadn't come home, and I was going to kill him for it.
The spoiled brat had left for one of his silly con things. I never really knew what they were. I didn't trust them. I didn't trust my baby going to them either. They were always filled with really old sweat men. It must have been disgusting. I could never understand why he went to them.
And I couldn't understand why he hadn't come back home.
I called nine-one-one and asked for a swat team. The lady on the other end—she had a really bad attitude too—said swat wasn't used to missing person's cases. We fought over the phone for a little while. I asked to speak to her manager. I waited for an hour on hold until the power went out again.
That's when I had about enough with everything. The Irish could only take so much before we blew everything away. Let me tell you: never deal with an Irish Mamma. So I drank a little, then drank a little bit more. Glancing at the side of the fridge, I saw the photo of my little baby, and then I drank a whole lot more.
Then I got in my car and drove to that stupid con he had gone to. I'd given him fifty dollars to buy something nice. Do you know what he did when I gave him that money, that free money? He scoffed at me! Like fifty dollars wasn't a lot of money anymore. Teenagers these days—they just don't know what they have.
I'd gotten in a fight with some guy in the street. It was a nasty cop. He said I couldn't park my car on the side of the road—the nerve of him! Here was this big building full of men, and yet, it had no parking! I demanded to know where I could park, and he said it wasn't his job to tell me.
Someone else should have taken his job, that was for sure. I took his badge number and drove back into parking. I found a space for the handicapped. I thought about it for a second. My son was handicapped mentally, so I figured parking there would be okay.
I only started getting into trouble when I got into the building.
“M'am, you need a bade to enter.”
“Don't you even think of looking at me.”
I walked past the geeks while wearing my high heels. My face must have shown my disgust at being crowded with all these disgusting people. They were fat, smelly, and some balding. Even more disgusting was the stands. There were drawn girls, like they were in some cartoon, but they were unlike any cartoon I'd had seen.
Things only got worse when I saw those cartoon girls on pillows. Body pillows they were called. Some people were joking that they could stand up their own. Gross. How could my sweet little boy, my useless Tristan get caught in stuff like this?
He was wasting his life away. These were all people from the internet. He said strangers from online wouldn't harm him, and now, he had been missing for a day. This was the last time he was ever leaving my sight. He could stay in his room for all I could care.
“Hello there, spicy mamma.” I turned around and gasped at the sight. It was an old man, hunched over, with some blue ball in his hands. “You looking to make another son tonight?”
“I already have enough useless children.” I smacked him one, I really did, a slap with the backhand my previous husband had taught me so well. The old man hit the ground, and so did his ball, and then there was this blue light. “I hate men!”
And then everything was gone.
“Ms... Ms?”
My body jerked before my eyes opened. “Yeeeeeaaaaal! Get away!”
I quickly raised up onto my heels, staring down at the purple.... thing. “Shoo! Go away! I don't have any carrots. Come one. Get!”
“M'am, please don't move around like that.” I stared down at the purple thing some more. It was a small horse with a horn coming out of its head. A... unicorn? “Your kind has already won us over. We don't need any more attacks!”
“Are you... are you a unicorn?”
“Alicorn, actually.”
I fell to my knees and swept the thing against my chest. “Why aren't you soft and fluffy! And you can talk! Have I died?”
“You are still very much alive, M'am.” I felt its cute little hooves circle around me, hugging me back. “Your kind has already come through here yesterday and won. Though... I must say you are far kinder.”
“You should see me when I'm not.” I set the cute little unicorn down on the ground, standing back up again. “Did you say someone else had come here yesterday? Were they a young guy by chance?”
“By a young guy, do you mean a young male?” The unicorn nodded. “Yes. He used his powers to make us submit to him. Right now, he resides in Canterlot Castle as we speak.”
“Now you listen to me here, little unicorn.” I stared at her, feeling a heat rise in my chest. “My baby Tristan is not a bully! He's just misunderstood and sometimes acts out.” I sighed. “Like he wasn't having enough trouble at school, now I have to apologize for his behavior here.”
The unicorn blinked. “You mean... you were sent here to help us?”
“I was sent here to punish my son.” My hand curled while my Irish anger became unleashed. “He was supposed to be back home yesterday by seven, different world or not. He's getting dragged back home, and his butt is going over my lap.”
My heart jumped as more unicorns and horses and other things started coming out. They were all hiding behind the buildings and barrels. One pony came from behind a box—a box of despair, they said my son had called it. That was my Tristan for sure—he could never come up with anything smart or clever in his life.
“Then the resistance stands a chance!” The pink unicorn exclaimed. “Quick everypony. To Canterlot Castle away!”
These ponies horse made for really good friends—good influences too.
I don't know why my Tristan would ever want to embrace something so sweet and soft. He could be a combination of bad things underneath his skin. I tried teaching him better when he was younger, but none of my teachings never got through that thick head of his. He was a special boy that could do special things, and when he finally put his mind to it, he takes over a whole world.
Oh, where did I screw up!?
The ponies quickly made me feel better about it all. They were all small but smart. Even when spoken quickly, they could still understand me, which made me call them all very good horses. They told me that I was a good mother, but that my son was a brat, and that a good mother could only do some much with a brat.
I assured all the little ponies that I would be using my belt on his butt once we got home. They made a very blue pony with a rainbow mane very happy to hear. It was a shame she was a pony. I liked her personalty—she reminded her of a younger me.
She would have been a great match for my Tristan.
But with how his love life was going, I almost debated about taking her home with us.
We made it to the mountain before the ponies started to sing. Music played from everywhere and nowhere, and though I was confused, I ended up singing along. They were singing about the magic of friendship, of strangers become friends, and how they were set to take down the evil king.
I told them my son wasn't evil—he was just confused. He was confused about a lot of things, actually, one of them being his sexuality. But we didn't have time to talk about that. We were approaching some city, on which they sent me on ahead, alone, to go and retrieve my son.
It wasn't before long I was inside some castle, where some horses in armor tried to stop me.
“Stop right there, ma'am!”
“Don't even think about looking at me.”
Some things, like creeps, never changed, no matter the world.
The thing that did stop me, though, was a pair of doors. Big doors. Bigger doors than we had back at home. I enjoyed the design of it a little, hating how nice it looked. If my useless husband were still around, I'd get him to make our house bigger—big enough to fit these doors inside.
Finally, though, I knocked on the doors and refused to be silent. “Tristan? Tristan! Open up! I know you're in there.”
“M-Mom?!” There was the voice of my son from the other side of the door. “How the heck did you get here? What are y-you even doing here?!” His voice cracked. It was so adorable. “Get outta here!”
“I heard you were being very mean to these nice ponies here.” I was silent for a second. “Why is this door shut? You're not looking at porn in there, are you?”
“Porn? No!” My Tristan did sound occupied with something, though. “They're all ponies here, mom. I'm not into the kind of stuff.” He grunted.
“Why are you grunting? You're doing something wrong in there, aren't you?” I banged on the door harder and made my voice louder. “Tristan, you open this door right now. Don't make me count to three!”
“I can't, mom, I can't!”
“One.”
“Please, mom.”
“Two.”
“I don't have a body anymore!” I stopped and stepped away from the door. “The door is unlocked. Come inside, but don't let anypony see!”
I pushed on the throne door enough for it to open, slipping in the space I had created, then closing it behind me. Strolling along the red carpet, I came before a throne was a black robe left on it. “Tristan? Where are you, baby?”
“Here, mom.” I looked at the throne, squinting. I stepped up and took hold of the robe, throwing it back to see a bundle of bones sitting on the throne. “My bones were too brittle and broke apart. I've been doing my best to keep all the ponies outside.”
“Did you drink the milk I left on the table?”
The skull was silent.
“Tristan, did you drink the milk on the table.”
“...no, mom.”
“Then this is what you get.” I shook my head. “I tell you to drink your milk, and what do you do? You don't drink your milk. This is what happens when you don't drink your milk.”
“I think that's taking things a bit far, mom.”
“Are you a bundle of sticks?”
“That's not fair.”
“Are you a bundle of sticks!?”
“Yes! Yes, mom, I am a bundle of sticks.”
I nodded. He understood where he'd gone wrong.
“Good. I'm going to take you home now.” Turning around, I shouted at the top of my lungs, which manage to shatter the windows around the throne room, “Twilight! Twilight Sparkle you come here this second.”
There was a purple flash, and then, there she was.
“You called for me, ma'am?”
“Yes.” I pointed at the ground before my feet. “I need you to use your magic thing to summon that box. The same box my son used.”
“Mom, stop!” I didn't turn around. “I asked you to not let anypony see me like this. You lied to me! You're the worst mom ever!”
“And you're the worst skeleton ever!”
Another flash and his box of despair was at my feet. Finally, I turned around and started to pick up the bones that were my son.
“No no no!” the lone skull cried at me. “What are you going to do with me? No, no! I don't want to be punished! I don't want to be punished!”
Picking up his bones, I threw them inside the little box, letting them fill it up. “You're going on time-out to think about what you've done! You're going to think long and hard, because once we come back, you're going to apologize to everypony in this wonderful land.”
“No! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!”
It didn't take me long to fill up the box with the contents of my son. Putting the lid over its top, I picked the box up, holding it close to my chest. I was careful going down the step—the box wasn't the issue, but my high heels were.
“I'm so sorry for all of this, Twilight.” I made it to the bottom step without harm, “I assure you he'll be on his best behavior from now on.”
“It's no problem... really.” Twilight sat down on her cute little rump, staring up at me, adorably confused. “Does this mean everything goes back to how it was two days ago.”
“Of course it does!” I took the weight of the box with one of my arms, using my free hand to pet her head. “You little ponies can go back to running your silly little games.”
“We were running a government.”
“You were playing pretend government?” I asked. “That's so sweet!”
Twilight didn't say much to me after that, other than offering to create a portal that should take me back to my own world. It sent us home in a flash. When my eyes opened, I realized we were in my attic, where I set the box down among the rest.
“Hope you enjoy your box of despair, dear” I giggled. “That new meaning should be a fitting punishment.”
I had a hard time finding my son again after that. I was tired from having to do so much at once. The first thing I did on leaving him was sleep. I relaxed for a few days, drinking fine wine, and then, finally feeling bad, I went up to the attic...
...where I saw boxes, nothing but boxes, all the boxes that contained all the stuff from when we had first moved. One of those boxes contained my son. I sighed at once.
I had misplaced my displaced.
