Zephyr's Other Biggest Mistake

Even a trip to get ice cream with Zephyr was painful. Zephyr ordered a cone for the both of them. And it wasn’t even a flavor that Dash liked. Worst of all, she had to pay for them both, since Zephyr seemed to have conveniently forgot his wallet.

“Thanks for the ice cream.” Zephyr said.

“Yeah. I hope it was worth my money,” Dash muttered.

Zephyr dug right into his cone, but noticed Dash was only staring at her’s.

“Aren’t you going to eat your ice cream?” he asked.

Dash stared pensively at the cone in her hand, not wanting the putrid flavor to reach her tongue under any circumstances. Something would have to be done about that, and fast.

“Hey, is that Applejack eating a popsicle?” Dash said, as she looked off into the distance.

“Where!?” Zephyr said excitedly, as he looked to where Dash indicated.

As soon as his head was turned, Dash whipped the cone over her shoulder, unknowingly throwing it toward two young boys.

“Man, I wish we had some money for some ice cream,” one boy said.

Not sooner did he finish speaking, did a cone full of ice cream land in his open hand.

“Oliver! You’ve got genie powers, or something!” the other boy said.

The first boy took a lick of the cone and winced.

“Ugh!! Coffee!? Who’s having that past noon!?” the first boy said, before whipping the cone over his shoulder, and unknowingly letting another hapless soul catch it.

Dash breathed a sigh of relief, having narrowly avoided the foul ice cream.

Zephyr looked back, somewhat perplexed.

“Weird. I don’t see Applejack out there,” he said.

“I guess she just ate her popsicle and left. Oh, and look at that. My ice cream’s all gone. I guess that means the date’s over, right?” Dash said.

“Not just yet. There’s still some stuff I want to do,” Zephyr said, as he put his arm around Dash’s waist.

Dash nearly bit her lip to keep from screaming. Whatever he wanted to do, she wished that she had something sharp to hold between herself and Zephyr’s arm in that moment.

“How about that photo booth over there? You and me could immortalize our date forever,”

“I’d rather euthanize it…” Dash muttered.

“What’s that?”

“I said that photobooths cost money. And, look. Aw, darn. I’m all out of cash,” Dash said, surreptitiously hiding her money, as she presented an empty wallet to Zephyr.

“That’s alright. I found some quarters in an ashtray over there.”

What Zephyr was doing rooting through an ashtray, Dash didn’t want to know. Now, with that new revelation, she felt her stomach clench again as she looked over to the small, dark space she would soon be sharing with him in a moment.

“Alright. You just get in there. I have to make a call first,” Dash said.

She quickly ran over to the nearby chain link fence, and slammed her entire front against it. There, only a mere fifty feet away were friends, blissfully enjoying their time on the beach. Dash produced her phone from her pocket, and dialed a number as fast as she could.

Down on the beach, Twilight’s phone started ringing. She looked at the screen, and saw it was Rainbow Dash calling her. She answered the call.

“Dash?” she asked.

“Twilight, you gotta help me! You! Rarity! Anyone! I need help!” Dash said.

“Dash, slow down. What’s happening right now?”

“He wants me to go to a photobooth with him!”

“A what?”

“A photobooth!” Dash growled, “You put in fifty cents, and you get four pictures! A small, dark, intimate space where dating couples…*urk*...put their hands on each other…”

Twilight sighed. This was somewhat beyond her expertise. Instead, she decided to pass it along to someone a bit more knowledgeable in the dating area.

“Okay. I’m going to put you on with Rarity. She’ll know what to do,” Twilight said.

“No! No, wait!” Dash protested, before she watched Twilight explain the situation, then pass the phone along.

“Hello, Rainbow, darling. Having a little bad luck with the date?” Rarity said.

“Yes! That’s why I’m calling!” Dash said.

“Well, Twilight’s already explained everything to me. Rainbow Dash, if there’s any advice I can offer you, it’s to suggest something better to do,” Rarity answered.

“Like what? Surfing? You know he already wants to share a board with me! Forget that! What other ways are there to get out of this?”

“Hm…” Rarity said, as she thought over what could be done. “Have you tried saying you’re scared of the dark?”

“Rarity, that’s just stupid!” Dash said.

“Sorry. But, that’s all I can offer, since I have never been on a date nearly this terrible. I’m afraid you’ll just have to improvise, darling,” Rarity said.

“Nononono! Rarity, don’t you hang up on me!”

Rarity hung up on Dash.

“I swear, I’m going to haunt you when I die from embarrassment!” Dash shouted from the chain link fence.

From where she was sitting, Rarity started looking around for the source of the voice that was cursing her. Though she didn’t find the source, an ice cream cone mysteriously landed in her open hand, as if it were thrown from somewhere.

“Coffee ice cream?” Rarity said, smelling the cone. “I won’t even have it iced!”

Rarity threw the cone away, only for some other hapless soul to grab it.

Back up at the sidewalk, things were taking a turn for the worse.

“You all ready, Dash?” Zephyr asked, as he put his phone down, after taking at least a hundred pictures of Rainbow Dash’s butt.

“Uh…” Dash said, before she turned around. Her mind raced for an idea that would get her out of the situation. “I can’t take a picture like this! I haven’t shampooed yet!” Dash said. “Ugh! I’m starting to sound like Rarity…” she thought.

Dash yelped internally when she felt Zephyr take her hand.

“Trust me. You look just fine for a photoshoot,” Zephyr said.

This was it. The dark interior of the photobooth grew closer, and Dash was led inside first. Feeling like a prisoner on her way to execution, Dash’s chest clutched entirely when Zephyr sat down next to her. Now, she was strapped in, and the quarters in the slot were like the switch being thrown.

Outside the photobooth, anyone who was watching would have thought there was a war going on inside of it.

“Hey! You stay on your side of the seat, buddy!” Dash said.

There was a bright flash.

“No! No! Whatever you’re allergic to: I ate it today!” Dash said.

There was another flash.

“Put that hand down, or lose it!”

There was another flash.

“That’s it! You crossed the line!”

There was an incredible *WHAM* sound inside the booth, and Zephyr went flying out.

Dash stepped out of the booth, and the photos all printed. The first showed Zephyr trying to sit on Dash’s lap, only for Dash to pinch his waist hard. One would think she almost had his kidney in her grip.

The next showed Zephyr with his face intimately close to Dash’s. Only, Dash had thrusted the edge of her hand inside his mouth.

The next photo was a bit of an oddity. Zephyr’s face was twisted in pain, while his and Dash’s hands were both out of frame.

Finally, the last photo showed Dash punting Zephyr out of the photobooth like a football across a field.

Huffing loudly, Dash took the photos that were printed, and threw them on top of the prostate Zephyr.

“Here! Keep them to remind yourself what happens when you don’t keep your hands to yourself!” Dash said.

Zephyr laid on the ground, finding this kick Dash gave him somehow less appealing than the last one. Not that he enjoyed being kicked, that is he somewhat enjoyed the idea of a girl who was flexible enough to kick him like that in such a small space.

“That’s it. I’m calling it off now. This date’s over. You had your ice cream, you had your pictures to remember it. That’s that. You can have your surfboard back now,” Dash said.

Quick as she could, Rainbow Dash returned to the beach, and collected her clothes, then went to one of the changing rooms. Something which Zephyr noticed, and decided to take a few last minute pictures to remember the day by.

Dash reached the changing room, and looked left and right for any perverse peepers. When the coast looked clear, she quickly ran inside the changing room and locked the door.

Zephyr took his chance, and set up the camera on his phone. He crept over to the changing room, and crouched by the door with his phone in hand. Until he felt someone grab his ear, and pull him to his feet.

“Sightseein’, huh?” Applejack asked, as she held Zephyr’s ear in a vice grip.

“Uh…” Zephyr answered.

“Phone. Now,” Applejack ordered, her free hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, Zephyr gave up his phone to Applejack, who started scrolling through the pictures.

“Looks like someone’s been on safari,” Applejack said, showing the pictures that Zephyr had been taking of Dash. “Ya know, most folks get banned from the beach fer stunts like this.”

“Do I get a pass for doing it as a labor of love--Aaahoww!” Zephyr said, before Applejack tightened her grip on his ear.

“Alright, that’s it!” Dash said, from inside the changing room. The door swung open, revealing Dash, who hadn’t even begun to change her clothes. “You know how hard it is to change when you know people are outside!?”

“Bet it’s worse when ya got perverts like this skulkin’ ‘round yer door,” Applejack said, presenting Zephyr.

Dash was beyond frustrated at this point. She was all ready to burst just the same as she had done weeks before.

“You--Rgh! You sick freak!!” Dash said.

“That ain’t the half of it. Nature boy here’s been takin’ a few unsavory pictures of ya when ya weren’t lookin’,” Applejack explained, showing the phone to her friend.

“I think most girls would have taken it as a compliment,” Zephyr said.

Dash was completely silent. She was having the worst date in her life so far, and was close to boiling over.

“First, you broke my board,” Dash said, eerily calm, like a gentle breeze before a storm. “Then, you blackmail me. Then, you push me into that photobooth with you. And then you go and pull a stupid stunt like this!!! At this point, I don’t even care if I lose Fluttershy! I don’t want you in my life ever again! I don’t want to see your face! I don’t want your stupid board! And I especially don’t want your coffee ice cream!!!”

As if on cue, the cone full of coffee ice cream landed back into her hand.

That was the last straw. Dash’s eyes shot red, and her mouth started to bleed from how hard she clenched her teeth. With a warrior shout, Applejack and Zephyr were both blown backwards.

Zephyr was the first on his feet, and ran away as fast as he could to escape from Rainbow Dash.

Down on the beach, Fluttershy had just returned to her friends, after she had unsuccessfully searched for her brother.

“Um, excuse me. Have any of you seen Zephyr around?” she wondered.

As soon as she asked her question, two familiar blurs ran past her. And she knew that no good was to come of it.

“Wait! Zephyr! Rainbow Dash! Stop!” she called out to them.

“Just let them work it out, Fluttershy,” Twilight sighed.

“It’s the only way dummies like him learn,” Pinkie added, who had finally gotten a sandcastle to stay up.

Fluttershy wanted desperately to help her brother, but knew that her friends were right. Reluctantly, she knelt down in the sand with Pinkie Pie, but kept her eyes on Dash and Zephyr, just as they ran into the neighboring forest.

Deep in the woods, a group of hikers enjoying a nature walk were happily plodding along.

One of the hikers took out a pair of binoculars out of her backpack, and looked up in one of the trees to get in some birdwatching. Instead of a bird, she found a rather peculiar sight.

There, high in the branches was a blonde-haired boy, clad in swimming trunks, and a surfboard broken over his head. His eyes were stuck open in a glassy daze. At least, one was. The other one was swollen shut. He moaned quietly, as he slowly bleed from his nose, ears and groin.

“There’s a surfer in that tree!” the hiker said.

“Naw, couldn’t be. That’s just an urban legend,” said one of her friends, before leading her and the others away.