A Modest Proposal

by sparkleworks

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 1071

To preserve Equestria's greatest resource, sacrifices must be made.

Equestria, and Cloudsdale in particular, is best known for its production of rainbows. As our most valuable resource, we must act to preserve and improve rainbow production.

This story is based on Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal." Teen rating for dark themes

Published 2018-04-21 02:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-21 02:00:06 UTC

Beneficial to the Public

Throughout Equestria, many an Earth pony has been plagued by an unfortunate blight on their harvest, many a unicorn has endured the struggle of a magical spell continuing to evade them despite hours upon hours of toil, and many a pegasus has felt the frustration of clearing the skies only for a few stubborn clouds to return as soon as they turn their backs. Such struggles are commonplace even under our benevolent diarchy, as even Princess Celestia cannot banish the cruel insects that feed on an unsuspecting field or the clouds that continually evade our capture. A land of harmony, love, and friendship is still not free of the troubles that pierce our hearts and the sorrows that weigh us down, despite our best efforts to the contrary. With such troubles permeating the very hearts of our towns and cities, it is imperative to unite the nation’s spirit through the production of rainbows. Rainbows are elegant displays of beauty that bring joy to all who lay eyes on them, reflective of the differences between us and the unity we maintain in the face of challenges. While snow and hail may bring heartache and strife, rainbows represent all that is good and pure in Equestria; they are essential to maintain the integrity of the nation and remind us that the challenges of the past are not permanent. However, creating these rainbows is becoming more and more difficult. In addition to the challenges of producing rainbows for export and for personal gain, the Equestrian economy has suffered due to the pests and various ailments that have ravaged the farmlands of Earth ponies across the land, leading to an increasing shortage of food. This shortage has been compounded by the population growth of members of the towns across Equestria, particularly with the pegasi in Cloudsdale.

Pegasi who are incapable of flight are more of a challenge to support within the tighter economy, as Cloudsdale's weather factory is the primary source of income for the city. Recruiting foals from the unicorns or the Earth ponies would be nigh impossible without a cloudwalking spell or a form of magically-created wings (which are often rather delicate and would cause many risks among the potential dangers of working in a weather factory). Many of the members of Canterlot's upper class agree that pegasi are most valuable for their flying abilities and their corresponding ability to perform manual labor, as shaping the weather around the whims of those in power is of utmost importance.

With the increasing necessity for the production of rainbows for economic gain and for the benefit of Equestria, it seems that a solution to this problem is quite clear. The population of many less prosperous towns has become more of an issue, specifically for young ponies who are unable to serve the positions expected from their natural physiology. Young pegasi, for example, are often most valuable for their ability to fly and manipulate weather; without this ability, they have more challenges in finding work in the very important field of creating weather phenomena. Raising these pegasi is rather expensive for their parents, and this creates a challenge to produce enough labor to sustain a completely necessary resource. With this knowledge in mind, I humbly present my own thoughts, which I hope will not be objectionable in the least. I have been informed by an acquaintance in Trottingham that a young, healthy pegasus foal at a year old is a quite effective, useful, and wholesome source of rainbows. By giving their fillies and colts to the invaluable cause of creating rainbows, the ponies of Cloudsdale can sleep soundly knowing that they are creating a better world for the other ponies of Equestria. Pegasus foals are in ample supply throughout the year and the exams testing flight ability establish which pegasi are capable and which are not. Rather than enduring the torment of their fellow classmates and other pegasi, they will avoid these hardships and provide their parents with the comforting knowledge that their children will not be the brunt of cruel jokes or subject to discrimination.

There are several key elements that will be vastly improved by the proposed practice. Firstly, younger pegasi will have a clear incentive to strive for greatness and to prove their skill and ability during flying tests. This will directly combat the issue of foals feeling unmotivated in their classes and will greatly increase the success rate of these flight tests. With a well-defined consequence to failing these tests, the parents of these pegasus foals and the foals themselves will have a very compelling reason to work hard to pass flight exams. Secondly, the production of rainbows will thusly not require an extensive number of less expendable materials that may be better served in other economic aspects, such as the production of other weather phenomena and growing cash crops in Appleoosa. Pegasus foals are an invaluable source of rainbow production; their brightly-colored coats lend to the extraction of vibrant hues, and their innate pegasus magic gives rainbows a unique quality and consistency that is scarce in commonly-used sources such as boxes of crayons and photographs of a pegasus foal's family. Thirdly, the costs of feeding and caring for pegasus foals who are not capable of flight will be greatly reduced by using them to produce an incredibly important and not at all frivolous resource rather than allowing them to potentially flourish in other fields that do not necessarily require flight.

I hope that this proposal is not objectionable or unpleasant in any way; I have no vested interest in the economic development or production of rainbows and have no other motive besides the public good of Equestria, advancing our economic exports, providing for foals, and benefitting the rich. Equestria's rainbows are some of our most well-known commodities, and thus determining a more effective way to produce them is of utmost importance. I am not a pegasus myself and have no foals of my own, and thus cannot propose them for the good of Equestria.

Author's Note

Please note that this is satire (a parody of Johnathan Swift's essay by the same name, specifically). This is based on Rainbow Factory - while I do like the song, I was thinking about why taking the problem of "how are rainbows made?" to its most unrealistic extremes was necessary, and that reminded me of "A Modest Proposal."