I Don't Want to Go Home

by Starscribe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Scootaloo
Length: 2544

Scootaloo never dreamed she would ever know what it was like to fly. But then the Cutie Map sent her to Seaquestria, and she got her chance. Now she isn't sure she ever wants to leave.

Spoilers for S8E6

Scootaloo was overjoyed to discover the Cutie Map was sending her and her friends across Equestria for a friendship mission. It was her first time flying outside her dreams.

If she didn't do something, it would be her last.

Cover by Zutcha. Quick editing by Bitera.

Published 2018-04-22 03:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-22 03:00:07 UTC

Chapter 1

“Come on girls!” Twilight’s voice called from up ahead, insistent. “The train leaves in a few minutes! There won’t be another one until tomorrow!”

Scootaloo slowed a little more, dragging her hooves through the sand. Her wings buzzed against her back, but as usual she remained firmly on the ground.

“We’ll come and visit,” Sweetie Belle said, pausing long enough to give Terramar a goodbye hug. “I’d like to hear your mountains again. Maybe bring my sister along… it’d be great!”

“Might not be for a while,” Apple Bloom added, her voice meek. “Twilight’s whole friendship school thing makes everything crazy in Ponyville. So many new customers… I’m kinda amazed mah big sis let me come down here.”

On the edge of the shore was a gravel path, leading eventually to the Equestrian railroad and their train. The train that would take Scootaloo away from the one place she’d been able to fly. Scootaloo stopped on the sand, trying with her wings again, letting her friends get further and further away.

“You’re welcome back anytime,” Terramar said, his earlier melancholy gone. “My family has two houses, after all. Plenty of room for visitors to stay.”

Scootaloo turned slightly, looking over the beach. Seaponies and hippogriffs were here in abundance. Sharing their happy memories together, rejoicing in a world that was free of the Storm King. The Cutie Map had picked the right ponies for this job—these creatures would all be better off.

So why did she feel so empty?

“Uh, Scoots?” Apple Bloom finally noticed her. She turned, pawing nervously back onto the sand. “Something wrong?”

Sweetie Belle and Terramar both turned to stare at her. They have no idea. How could they? Apple Bloom has her potions and Sweetie Belle has her magic. But what do I have?

“Yeah,” she said. Her voice was barely a whisper. She might’ve cried, except that Terramar was still there. She wouldn’t let a stranger see her tears—Scootaloo was too tough for that. “I think there is.”

Twilight had finally noticed her too. She turned, watching with apparent concern, but she didn’t call out again. She can’t hear me from that far away, right?

Scootaloo kept her voice down just in case. “I’m not sure I want to go back,” she whispered.

“What?” Apple Bloom crossed onto the sand beside her. “I don’t get it, Scootaloo. You want more of that clamshell cake? I couldn’t eat another bite. And that music… you can only have so much of a good thing, ya’ know?”

“It’s not that!” Scootaloo stomped one hoof, so loud that creatures were staring at her. She ignored them, yanking her friends close. Poor Terramar joined them, confused and awkward but not daring to leave. That was good, since she’d need his help if she intended to actually do this. “It’s like…” she sighed. It wasn’t as though her friends didn’t already know what troubled her. She spread her pathetic, useless wings.

“All this time I’ve been trying to fly. Tried everything I could think of—worked as hard as anypony could work. Did all of Rainbow Dash’s remedial exercises, stayed up for night after night. Tried Zecora’s potions, Twilight’s magic… none of it worked.” She sniffed, wiping the moisture away from her face with one hoof. “If I go back to Equestria, I might never fly. But in Seaquestria…” She looked longingly back out over the water.

She could still feel it rushing against her fins. Still remember what it had been like to no longer be trapped in two dimensions. Her fins had worked fine, zipping her along with the speed and energy of the fastest birds. A world where she was surrounded with beautiful fish, with glowing eels and bioluminescent lanterns. For the first time in her life, Scootaloo had been whole.

“I’m sure you could get permission to come back here, Scoots. From your, uh…” Apple Bloom was the only one who dared bring up that subject, and even then, only by implication.

Scootaloo nodded. “In a few months, maybe. If I can find a grown-up to come down here with me, and I fill out a dozen forms, and…” She stomped another hoof. “What are the chances I have another princess to make that go away?”

Princess Twilight Sparkle nudged her way into the circle. Scootaloo hadn’t been watching her, but apparently the princess had been listening. Twilight could be easily pushed to the edge of total breakdown by the suggestion of tardiness, but she didn’t seem upset anymore.

“But if you stayed here…” Sweetie Belle’s voice rose into a pained squeak. “We wouldn’t see you. Not for… the Cutie Mark Crusaders would be separated.”

“What would you even do here?” Apple Bloom’s voice gained a twinge of anger. She shoved past Scootaloo, hard enough that she stumbled, pointing out at the crowd. “There aren’t any cutie marks here, Scootaloo. You couldn’t start up your own little CMC like my cousin did in Manehattan. You’d be…”

Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat, horn flashing for a moment. Their argument fell silent before it could get worse. “Scootaloo… do you understand what you’re suggesting? Seaquestria was wonderful to visit, but you don’t really understand how it works. The hippogriffs have an ancient culture, with traditions as old as ours. Just because you like one part of living here doesn’t mean you would enjoy all that. There’d be no more apples, for instance. You wouldn’t be able to ride your scooter! I thought you were moving towards a career in extreme sports! You’d give all that up?”

Scootaloo hesitated. She thought about her scooter, about the homemade ramps and rails she’d made behind the Ponyville Orphanage. That would hurt, but losing her friends would be worse. Terramar was nice, but he was just one bird, and anyway he’d spend plenty of his time on land. His wings weren’t broken.

So she didn’t look to the princess—but to the hippogriff. This mad scheme would be impossible if she didn’t have a place here to begin with. She probably should’ve asked him about it earlier. “Terramar… do you think Seaquestria has a place for a pony like me? Are there… I guess grown-ups get jobs. And I’d be old enough to move out of the orphanage next year anyway…”

Poor hippogriff. If awkwardness was worth bits, he could’ve made millions. He shifted his wings, lifting briefly off the ground, and glancing back towards his parents. “I dunno. I could ask.”

“Let me come with you,” Twilight said. Scootaloo had argued with her—but she still didn’t seem angry. Only sad. “Equestria is borrowing your sister, maybe Seaquestria wouldn’t mind borrowing one of ours for a little while.” She lowered her head, forcing Scootaloo to meet her eyes. “If you’re sure this is what you want. I know you don’t have… family waiting for you back home, or I’d never even consider this without their permission.”

Scootaloo glanced between her friends. In many ways, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were her family. They’d be the ones she’d be abandoning. After everything they’d done together. It would be like the Equestria Games, except that she would be the one betraying them, not the other way around.

“I… when’s the next time Equestria is sending diplo—… diplo—…”

“Diplomats?” Twilight finished helpfully. “At the end of the quarter. That’s two months from now.”

Two months where she’d be able to fly again. Two months where she wouldn’t be broken. If I stay, will I even want to leave? Probably not, but that was a problem for another time. Scootaloo forced herself to see the tears in her friends’ faces, before nodding. “Yeah, Twilight. Maybe until then.”

The princess embraced her with one wing, very briefly. “Alright.” Then she straightened. “Come on, Terramar. Let’s ask.”

They wandered off, back to the picnic that was half in the water and half on the shore. Scootaloo kept her back to them. She didn’t want to watch if they were going to say no. Now that she had experienced flight—as close to it as she might ever get—she never wanted to give it up. She felt trapped on the shore, even now. When the water was so close…

“You won’t get their powers,” Sweetie Belle said. “You’ll need Terramar or somepony to change you each time, like we did today.”

Scootaloo shrugged. “That’s fine. I don’t really plan on leaving the water. It’s… I know you two don’t see flying the same way I do. But I can’t just walk away after finally doing it. Even if it’s not the same sky as I dreamed about. I hope you’ll still be my friends.”

“Of course we will,” Apple Bloom said, voice absolutely confident. “That was never a question, Scoots. It’s just… it’ll be mighty rough to be without ya for that long. Assumin’ the hippogriffs are okay taking ya’ in.”

“I bet I could get Rarity to join that delegation,” Sweetie Belle added. “If I tell her about all the new inspiration she might be able to get here for her fashion. Then I could come with her to visit.”

“I don’t see many apples,” Apple Bloom added. “Maybe my sis will see the potential in a new market? Anything is better than more tuna water.” She made a face, and Scootaloo found herself imitating it.

“Ugh, yeah,” Sweetie Belle agreed.

Twilight returned, though it wasn’t just Terramar beside her. This time it was both his parents, with Ocean Flow on hooves and talons again just to walk over to her. Oh man I’m in trouble. I should’ve kept my dumb mouth shut.

Were they angry? Scootaloo couldn’t tell the difference between hippogriff scents, and seaponies just smelled like ocean all the time.

“You’re… Scootaloo?” asked Sky Beak. “Is that right?”

She nodded.

“Twilight explained your situation to us,” Ocean Flow added. Both of them looked pointedly at her wings. Scootaloo wished she could melt away into the sand. Her friends had discovered her disability naturally, and that had been hard enough. Just kill me, Celestia.

“We’ve talked it over with the princess, and it seems like a great idea!” Sky Beak eventually said. “Our daughter won’t be needing her room until she comes back for the Summit anyway.”

“And just between us, we think ponies could use a little more appreciation for our differences,” Ocean Flow whispered, conspiratorially. Though every one of them would be close enough to hear.

“You’d have responsibilities,” Twilight Sparkle said. “We would make this official, just like Silverstream living at my school. You’d have to go to school here, have to learn everything you could about seapony culture… take notes. Think of yourself like… an informal ambassador. Could you handle all that responsibility?”

Scootaloo whimpered, feeling the weight of expectation on her. Maybe it had been wrong to even bring this up. She should’ve suffered in silence, just like usual. At least that way she wouldn’t have embarrassed her whole country, not to mention her old friends and the new one she’d made today. She might very well be the biggest failure in all Equestria.

A seagull passed overhead, squawking discordantly. It was soon joined by several others—blending with the sound of crashing waves, the smell of salt and seaweed.

Scootaloo could be whole again, if she could only pay the price.

“Yeah,” she finally said. Tears streamed down her eyes, as she nodded once more for emphasis. “I could do that, Princess.”

They missed the train. But Scootaloo was glad for that—that meant a last night with her friends, and some time to get to know her host family a little better. They spent it up on land, since Sweetie Belle didn’t seem eager to go back into the water. Scootaloo was fine with that—it was just one more night.

Then morning came, and they woke at dawn so they could catch breakfast and still make the first train. Twilight had already made it clear that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom would not be missing class because of this. But they joined her on a walk down to the ocean, along with her new friend Terramar.

“I’m glad you were cool about this,” he said, as they reached the beach. “I didn’t really expect a pony to be able to… appreciate much about the way we do things.”

Scootaloo nodded. “Thanks for letting me do this. Even if it’s just for a few months… It’s gonna be the awesomest thing I’ve ever done. Maybe the awesomest thing I’ll ever do.”

She hadn’t brought anything on this trip—but it wasn’t as though Scootaloo owned much anyway. “Take care of my scooter,” she urged Apple Bloom. “If I come back, I want it in perfect condition. No broken deck or rusty bearings.”

“On it,” Apple Bloom promised. It had been a somber night—and it was obvious to Scootaloo that her friends still felt a little betrayed. Even if they knew her well enough to know how important flying was to her, it would still look like she was choosing that over their friendship.

She stepped into the water, gripping one of Terramar’s functional wings with her stubby useless ones. Magic passed through her in a wave, energy that washed away her fur and caused her to splash down into the water as her legs vanished.

She resisted the urge to dart off into water deep enough to fly, and to sink down immediately into Seaquestria. The ocean is so big, they can’t just have one town forever. I wonder what they’re going to do with it all. Maybe there would be a place for more ponies—even if they didn’t have any magic to change themselves.

Instead of swimming off, Scootaloo propped herself up on her forelegs in the surf. The air pressed in on her from all around, making her feel like she was starting to bake almost immediately. Scales and gills could be dry for a little while, but she would need to stay wet like this. For the next two months. Last chance to back out.

She didn’t. Instead she leaned forward to give her friends one last hug.

“Ugh, sea water,” Sweetie Belle protested, but without any real malice.

“We’re gonna miss you,” Apple Bloom said. “See a lot of cool fish out there.”

“I will,” Scootaloo said. “I’ll miss you guys too.”

She sunk back into the water, low enough that she could watch them walk away without feeling uncomfortable. Twilight Sparkle kept glancing back at her, a little nervous twitch in one of her eyes. She’s probably thinking about all the paperwork she’ll have to fill out to explain this. Glad that isn’t me.

“You sure about this, Scootaloo?” asked Terramar from beside her in the water, watching them go. “You three seem pretty close.”

“We are,” she said. “That’s why I’m sure. They know how much this means to me.”

She turned away from the shore, and the vast blue ocean stretched out below her. It was like a sky, with foamy white clouds drifting along its surface. There would be no weather magic for her here, none of the life she’d always dreamed of. But maybe she could find something else.

Scootaloo grinned, and swam off to find out.