My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but everyone calls me Pinkie Pie on account of it sounding too depressing.
That would be ironic, right? One of the happiest ponies in all of Equestria with a depressing sounding name? Although, I guess now it sounds more fitting...
Where to begin?
Sigh...
I guess I'll try and start at the beginning.
I grew up on a rock farm just outside of Ponyville a few years ago, but most of you already know that. The rock farm is gone, my parents passed away, and my sisters split up to live their lives doing other things.
Needless to say, they put up with it better than I did.
At first, life was hard; I was doing tricks as a street performer for a few bits now and then, but Ponyville isn't known for its economy.
I slept in a box most nights, tucked away inside an alley with a few slices of bread and some water at the end of each day.
It wasn't nice, but I survived. I pulled through, because Pies are tough cookies.
I spent a few birthdays picking through trash cans; looking for things that ponies had thrown out for being too broken, or being too lazy to fix it themselves.
Growing up on an Amish rock farm has its benefits- one such being that if something breaks, you fix it. And you fix it good.
By my nineteenth birthday, I had a working flashlight to scare off the rats, along with a few scraps of cloth that I had found out behind this one overly fancy pony's boutique. I had a flat pillow to keep my head off of the filthy ground, and a thin blanket to block out the cold.
My routine was simple: wake up, hide my stuff inside my box, disguise my box as common trash, and then head down to the river outside of town to bathe before heading back into town to perform.
It was the wet season in Equestria, and Ponyville is prone to flooding.
The water rushes in from the east, flooding the river and feeding the crops. Imagine my surprise when I didn't have to walk that far to get myself clean.
The water felt cool against my fur and mane, matting it down as I swam out into the channel against the calm river waters. As I began to clean myself, I felt something brush against my hind hoof.
Now, I'm not usually one to be startled, but since the river stood between Ponyville and the Everfree Forest, you can understand why I suddenly shrieked and charged out of the water, back into town, and back into my alley.
As I sat there, dripping wet, I felt a tug on my tail and prepared myself to be eaten alive by whatever had followed me into town.
Instead, when I turned to see if my flank was about to be devoured, I saw only two silly looking eyes staring back at me from the sockets of a baby alligator.
My very first friend: Gummy.
He had no teeth, and was snuggled up inside my tail with his head poking out. He looked too adorable to be a threat, so I didn't bother him
