The Apple[jack] and The Orangesby NebbieChaptersProlog: ReminiscingUnmentionables and Ass-umptionsPaint the Town Orange'Flatulence' isn't the Fourth FIt Takes Two to TangoProlog: ReminiscingApplejack had just finished up a long day's work on the farm when Apple Bloom came over and sat down to lay with her. "Hey Applejack, just got a letter from Babs sayin' she's stayin' with the Oranges for a few weeks. You think they can get along? Babs didn't seem as fancy as ya said the Oranges were..." The yellow filly said. "Oh, I'm sure they'll get along like gravy and biscuits! I might've felt weird when I was over there as a filly myself, but I got along just fine with 'em! 'sides, Babs knows 'em pretty well, they live pretty close." She replied with her eyes closed. Just then, her cutie mark began to glow brightly. "Huh...another friendship problem. Come along, Apple Bloom." She gestured for the filly to follow, and they trotted to Twilight's castle. "Looks like you'll be headed to Manehattan with...that's strange, I don't think anypony in Ponyville has that cutie mark." Remarked Twilight with a quizzical expression. Apple Bloom instantly got excited and jumped up on the table. "It's Babs' cutie mark! You're gonna solve a friendship problem with my cousin, Applejack!" The filly squeed a little. "Well I'll be! I guess it has been a long time since I really talked to the Oranges. Manehattan, here I come!" She reared up and ran off, but didn't get far before stopping for a bit. "Oh, and watch the farm with Big Mac, okay, Apple Bloom?" "You betcha!" Replied the filly. "Hmm, I wonder what kind of problem those two could solve. The map's never sent a filly and an adult together before..." Remarked Twilight. Applejack packed up quick and took the first train out, barely stopping to send a letter to let Aunt & Uncle Orange know. After an uneventful train ride and a brisk trot, she rung the doorbell, and could faintly hear arguing from inside. "-not our daughter, it would be improper. Now, I should get that..." Said Uncle Orange. "Well Blood is, and they can wait! You should hear the things she's said." Replied Aunt Orange. "Blood has always kept herself under control in public, maybe you're the one who could learn a thing or two." Uncle Orange said, as hoofsteps and a loud scoff could be heard. Applejack shrugged, figuring that it was none of her business. Uncle Orange opened the door. "Ah, I see you weren't kidding about coming right away. I'm afraid we don't have much in the way of accommadations to spare, so you'll have to sleep with Babs in a bed meant for one pony, my apologies." He said regally. Applejack dismissively waved a hoof. "Pffft, it's nothin'. I've slept on some straw before, and Granny always said that bein' together in bed made family feel closer." He nodded and showed her in. Applejack was overwhelmed by a sense of nostalgia for her first visit. Everything seemed smaller, but it was no less strange and fancy. Babs greeted her by running up and hugging. "Applejack! Your cutie mark's glowin' too! How's Apple Bloom?" She asked. "She's fine. I would've brought her, but I reckon the map's a little stingy about tag-alongs." The orange mare said with a smile. Babs nodded. "Of course, of course! Why don't you get unpacked while I show the Oranges here how to deal cards and play poker? Can ya believe they never learned?" "I sure can, sugarcube!" Proclaimed a chuckling Applejack, who got to work with her single bit of luggage. Unmentionables and Ass-umptionsAuthor's Note Be warned, this chapter gets a little gross (more than later chapters will). Blood Orange is supposed to be this filly from the Apple Family Reunion (presumably the Oranges paid Jonagold to keep an eye on her): Unmentionables and Ass-umptions Applejack trotted into the guest bedroom feeling exhausted. The map had summoned her here to Manehattan after she'd finished up on the farm, and with the long train ride over, she barely was able to unpack. She reassured herself that a good night's sleep would do her wonders, unless Babs had a snoring problem... Babs smiled at the mare and held the covers open. "Uh, hey toots. You sleep with family often? I've always had my own bed before..." "Not much since Apple Bloom got her own bed. Don't be nervous, I don't bite, sugarcube, and remember I'm family." Applejack said softly before slipping in and spooning the filly, as the bed was too small for them to occupy otherwise. "I suppose, but I'm used to more...privacy. So, got any idea what sort of problem we gotta solve?" The filly asked as she got comfy in Applejack's hooves. "Not a clue! Now let's get some rest." She said with a yawn. Babs nodded a little and tried to relax, but kept on shifting position a bit. Applejack was about to ask what was going on when a short, sputtering fart could be heard and the filly promptly went stiff as a board. After several seconds of Silence, Applejack leaned in close and gave Babs a kiss on the forehead. "Don't feel embarrassed, sugarcube, everypony's gotta go and I ain't judgin'. Goodnight." Applejack had some of the best sleep of her life, and was up at sunrise with a spring in her step. Babs groaned as the commotion got her awake too. "Ngh, I'm gonna hit the little filly's room." Applejack nodded. "Sure thing, I'll make some waffles. I'm sure the Oranges'll love 'em." Soon enough, the delicious scent of waffles woke the Oranges, who could be heard heading downstairs. Applejack figured now was a good time to head to the toilet, and got there just in time as Babs finished brushing her teeth and trotted out. But before Applejack could get in, Aunt Orange galloped past and slammed the door. "Guess somepony has to go worse than Rainbow after a cider-drinkin' contest!" Remarked Applejack. Uncle Orange trotted up next to her and gave the slightest nod. Within moments, a loud 'spppllllrrrt' could be heard from the other side of the door, followed by many farting noises. "Oh, poor mare. You know, when Apple Bloom used to drink too much milk and it was comin' out like a waterfall, I found some of that pink stuff in the bottle really helped." Applejack said with a smile. Uncle Orange just groaned. Applejack figured it was best to get back to the waffles, as this could take a while. Babs and Blood Orange were waiting on the table. "Oh hi. How about some uh...scrambled eggs? Mom and Dad never make anything interesting like you've got on that farm." Said the dark orange filly with a black mane. "Sure thing, sugarcube, and good to see ya again, Blood. Wasn't your mane green at the reunion?" Applejack said as she got to making the eggs. "Tryin' another color. Anything's better than red." Blood replied with a shrug. Within minutes, the fillies were digging into a hearty breakfast. The Oranges came in to breakfast a while later, after Blood Orange had already taken off to her bedroom to study. Applejack was eating waffles at a truly alarming rate, and sounded like a wild animal had gotten hold of a family pet. "Um, how's business, Mosely?" Asked Babs. Uncle Orange had his gaze fixated on Applejack's voraciousness as he responded. "...it's uh...doing well. We have a potential new buyer coming to visit in a few days. Your aunt has been getting the jitters, but we think it'll be fine." Applejack belched, said 'pardon', and wiped her lips off. "Jitters? Sounded like like a brown thunderstorm in there!" The Oranges went a bit wide-eyed while Babs simply stopped eating to observe. Aunt Orange cleared her throat. "Y-yes, well, as long as somepony doesn't act a little out of the ordinary, we'll get the deal for sure." Applejack blinked. "Huh, wonder who would do that." Babs interrupted by standing up in her chair. "Hey Applejack, how's about we get out and go already to find that friendship problem. It can't be far, and I'm sure these two want some alone time with their daughter." "Fine by me, let's get goin'!" Declared Applejack. Paint the Town OrangeApplejack trotted out onto the street slowly. "So, where you reckon we should go, sugarcube? I ain't got a clue where the friendship problem could be." "I'm sure we'll stumble on it sooner or later just goin' around town. I know a great arcade we can hit up." Babs replied with a tail flick, trotting north. "Sure thing. Maybe stop by a restaurant later? Anything that keeps us out and about so we can spot what we need to deal with." Applejack said as she followed. "'long as you're payin'. I don't get much allowance, toots." Babs said with a chuckle. Applejack chuckled back as they trotted to the arcade. After an hour of watching Babs beat several foals at DDR, and not finding too much fun in the pinball machines and racing games, Applejack sighed. "You ready to go?" "I suppose, none of these foals can keep up with me anyways. How about the 'world famous' Fish, Chips, and Cider?" Babs replied. "Can't be as good as my cider, but what the hay." Applejack replied. As they two got going, they noticed a pair of high-class stallions chatting. "You know, I must respect the Oranges for being such fabulous ponies despite who they're related to." Said a fancy pink unicorn with a wavy, bright pink mane. "Indeed, oooh, I think I see one now..." Replied a blue earth pony with a short green mane. Applejack stopped, mouth slightly agape. "Uh...heya. What's that about family and the Oranges? You know, us apples are fine, respectable, hard-workin' ponies. Who cares if some cousins are related to us?" Babs stepped aside a bit, seeming to be scared of being involved. The unicorn seemed confused. "If I may ask, which one of them is a cousin to your family?" "Huh? They aren't my cousins. Mosely's my uncle on my dad's side and Tangerine's his first cousin. I tell ya, Granny Smith has told stories 'bout how surprised she was her firstborn son ran off to be with her in the city!" Applejack said with her unique laugh. The unicorn was aghast. "That's...that's not proper! The papers shall hear of this!" The earth pony grabbed him. "Let's go, I don't wanna know any more about these...incestuous fruit ponies!" They quickly ran off after a shared glance and a nod. "You tell 'em! My family ain't got nothin' to hide!" Applejack shouted. Babs facehooved. "Hey, I'm proud of my family too, but you don't see me braggin' about it. Not everypony here understands." "Okay, fine, let's just go get some food." Applejack replied. Babs nodded as they resumed trotting. Applejack came into the restaurant to the sight of several ponies in a cider drinking competition. "Well I'll be!" Babs smiled. "You do the competin', I think I'm just gonna get some grub." Applejack nodded and got to challenging what looked like a bunch of lightweights. 10 liters of frothy cider later, Applejack patted her belly and belched loudly. The only other mare to make it that far, a pretty pink unicorn mare, gave an only slightly smaller belch, but then almost fell over and barfed into a conveniently-placed garbage can. A grey unicorn stallion gave Applejack a ribbon and a few tickets to the buffet as her reward. "Absolutely astounding, Miss...?" He said. "Applejack." She replied while Babs helped her stand up. "Well, Miss Applejack, we hope to see you again, you've become quite the attraction!" He said, then gestured to a clapping crowd before trotting off. Babs gave her a pat on the back, eliciting another burp. "Congratulations, but ya sure ya should've drank so much? They say too much cider affects your judgement, ya know?" Applejack shrugged, tried to ignore the yellow puddle of what might not be cider around the rear of the sick pink mare, then examined the crowd. The flower trio were there among what looked like a quilting club. "Well I'll be. Rose, Lily, Daisy, didn't expect ya'll to show up here. If ya'll liked that, you should see me fightin' timberwolves. Hoofy and Kicks McGee here can snap 'em like a twig!" Applejack bragged. After a moment, Rose eeped. "Uh, t-there are no timberwolves around, are there?" "'course not. Maybe I could show ya'll by breakin' some uh, lumber or somethin' in the alley back behind this place." Applejack said as she got up, following it up with a strong kick in the air. Babs facehooved hard. Daisy put her hooves on the sides of her head and screamed. "She's gonna kill us! Everypony run!" The entire quilting club screamed as Lily fainted. "Wha? No no, I just wanna show ya'll I can snap things like a twig!" Applejack said, eliciting more shrieks as the ponies dispersed. "Toots, it's time to go." Said Babs as she grabbed Applejack's hoof and yanked her away. Applejack reluctantly complied, trotting a bit as Babs dragged her through the chaos and out the door. Applejack threw the door open and trotted in to the kitchen, where the two Oranges were having some tea while Blood was reading a magazine. She belched loudly as she sat down. "Pardon." Babs sits down next to her. "Uh, hey you three, how's it goin'? We in time for dinner?" "Actually, you two are in time for being grounded." Mosely replied, shocking Babs. He threw down the Manehattan Evening News newspaper, showing that the top story was about the damage done to Fish, Chips, and Cider. The side story was a scandalous piece about the Oranges being related. Applejack stood up. "Wait, that ain't my fault! Everypony just misunderstood! That flower trio has shouted fire in a theater before!" "That may be, but did you have to tell the elite that me and Tangerine are related?!" Mosely for a moment looked furious before he put his hoof to his face, rubbing his temples. "Most of them already know, but now is just a bad time to remind them, we're about to get another business deal." "Oh, well..." Applejack seemed conflicted, before settling on a defiant face. "We ain't got nothin' to hide. You'll see, everypony will realize that you two loved each other so much, nothin' could stop ya. Now, if you're gonna ground me, at least leave Babs alone; she didn't do nothin' to peeve ya!" Mosely's eye began to twitch, but Tangerine put a hoof on his shoulder. "It's alright, honey, we'll get through this." She turned to Applejack. "Of course. You're not to leave the house until everything's resolved, and I will not tolerate such foul language in front of my daughter." Applejack nodded. "What about the friendship problem? We can't solve it in here, and nopony'll listen to a little scamp like me!" Cried Babs. "It can wait, sugarcube." Applejack replied. Blood put down the magazine. "If all of you are done acting like the sky is falling because somepony made some scaredy-cats pee themselves about some awesome Timberwolf killin', can we actually have dinner?" Tangerine gasped. "G-go to your room, we'll bring you some beans for supper." Blood rolled her eyes and trotted away with a scoff. "Typical." Applejack could tell she wasn't gonna be back to Ponyville anytime soon. Author's Note This was the hardest chapter to write. Lots of walking about, little opportunity to hit the points it needed to, and even needing a little rewrite around the cider stuff after publishing to really get it right. 'Flatulence' isn't the Fourth FAnother morning dawned and Applejack was feeling ready to take on whatever the day could bring. She nuzzled Babs awake, then yawned. "Ungh, five more minutes, mom..." The filly replied before opening her eyes to Applejack. "Oh, heya." Applejack gave a yawn, then stretched and scratched herself in the rear a bit. "Mornin', sugarcube." "Mornin'" Babs replied before the two trotted out. From the living room, Applejack could hear Aunt Orange talking to Blood about how to be a host, likely a result of last night's drama. "Now remember, any party needs the Four Fs: Family, Friendship, Food, and Fun. You can't have a party by yourself, without anything to do, or with everypony starved." Blood nodded, seeming bored, as Applejack trotted by. Their eyes met, and Applejack, on her way to the bathroom, smiled, whistled, and farted loudly. Blood giggled while Tangerine scoffed. Right as Applejack opened the bathroom door, Babs tapped her rear a bit. "Yeah?" Applejack asked as she turned around. Babs spoke softly so the others wouldn't hear. "We're not on the farm or at my friend Dumpster Diver's house, ya can't just let rip like that around here unless you're in the bathroom." Applejack rolled her eyes. "We're all family 'round here, sugarcube. 'sides, ain't like the door's soundproof!" Babs shrugged. "I guess...have a nice pee." Applejack chuckled a little and trotted into the bathroom. As the afternoon came, Tangerine had everypony lined up in the kitchen. "Alright, we have a guest coming over and you all need to be on your absolute best behavior. If we leave a bad impression, he may pull out of the deal." She said sternly. Mosely gave a simple "mmhmm" and a nod as he stared into Applejack's eyes. "'course, I know a thing or two 'bout hospitality, and don't you worry, I'll be right as rain!" She said. "Good, he'll be here in thirty minutes. Ready the table with Mosely, I'll be freshening up." Tangerine said before trotting towards the restroom. Applejack got to work putting out plates while Babs laid out the silverware. Blood Orange simply put away some odds and ends lying about as Mosely kept an eye on her. Once everything was ready to go, the four sat down. Applejack cleared her throat. "So, is this food gonna be those fancy little dinky bits o' nothin'? No offense, but when I was a filly, the food was barely a single bite for me!" Mosely smiled. "That was a short social gathering with quite a few ponies, it is customary and cheap yet polite and thoughtful to serve little hors d'oeuvres. Since we're inviting a single stallion to dinner, what we're serving is more substantial." Tangerine came out looking a little fancier than usual and silence reigned again. The doorbell sounded finally, and the Oranges went to get it. Applejack stayed put, listening to the pleasantries. Tangerine opened with a clearly-false compliment. "Ah, Swift Sale, have you lost weight?" The stallion chuckled. "Flattering as ever, Mrs. Orange, but I'm afraid my stomach is demanding I put on more! Would you please show me in?" Mosely politely chuckled as they trotted in together. Applejack turned to see the stallion, a dark blue unicorn with a wavy mane of azure and white and piercing sun-yellow eyes. His cutie mark appeared to be a boat with a large bit sign for a sail. Tangerine came around to make introductions. "Here is Blood, as you know, and two family members staying over, Applejack, and Babs Seed." "Howdy" Applejack replied with a little wave. "Nice t' meet ya, slick." Babs said. He bowed slightly. "Well, nice to meet you two as well. Shall we get started? I worked up quite the appetite on the waves earlier!" He sat down with a slight chuckle. "Of course." Replied Mosely, as he began setting food onto the plates. It was nothing special, mostly just salads, simple soups, and omelettes. Applejack took a whiff and quickly noticed spices she didn't recognize. No doubt the go-to choice of rich ponies who need to make an impression. She quickly commented. "Mmm mmm, smells delicious!" She then followed this up by scarfing a salad and mashed potatos into her mouth, leaving Mosely agape. Swift Sale patted her on the back. "That's the spirit! I've seen too many ponies act like food is to be picked at for scraps, as if we are a common seagull. Real food is to be devoured like you are a mighty shark coming down on a school of fish!" He near-shouted before digging in himself, to the relief of the Oranges. "Exactly! Can't have a rodeo if there ain't no bulls buckin'!" Applejack said as she grabbed a bowl of soup. Tangerine shrugged and used a rather large spoon instead of the regular soup spoon to enjoy her vegetable-tomato soup. "Well, it seems we've gotten off to a good start." Babs and Blood dug in somewhat slowly, followed by Mosely. As Applejack got to her own bowl of soup, the spices overwhelmed her for a moment. "Ah...aaah....ah-choo!" Her sneeze went right onto her plate, leaving Aunt & Uncle Orange once again stunned. Swift Sale seemed not to notice, even as Applejack followed it up by a loud burp. "Pardon." The Oranges truly relaxed, and sounds of soup-slurping could be heard. Swift spoke up. "This is a great meal, it's like you ponies knew just what I wanted! And my compliments to the chef." "Why thank you." Replied Mosely. As Applejack finished her soup, Blood Orange got up suddenly. "It's nice and all, but needs more pepper. Whatever you spiced this with is...kinda gross, Mom. No offense." The filly said, earning a stare from Babs and Tangerine. Blood trotted behind and around Swift to grab the shaker, letting rip a few loud farts just inches from him. Once she sat down, Applejack giggled. "Seems those beans are comin' out! If she's anythin' like me, she'll be like a rattler after a mouse next to a skunk by bedtime!" For a moment, everypony was silent, but Swift, covering his nose, eventually cleared his throat. "I...think I've lost my appetite..." Blood Orange sat down smugly. "More for me!" Tangerine looked like she was about to blow. Swift Sale looked between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Orange, while I loved the meal, I'm afraid I must go. Perhaps we could have dinner again once you've...had a chat with your daughter." He trotted towards the door. Blood Orange just then realized what she was in for. "Uh...whoops?" Tangerine exploded just as the door closed. "THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GROUNDED WITH APPLEJACK, AND BOTH OF YOU ARE CLEANING THIS UP! I...I cannot believe you did this. When I told you of the Four Fs, flatulence was not the fourth, little missy! It was fun, and there is no fun in...in leaving your odor upon our guests! Applejack, I am holding you personally responsible for this! She was imitating you!" Applejack nodded and gulped. "...y-yes ma'am!" Mosely finished eating and beckoned for Tangerine to accompany him to the bedroom, leaving the three younger ponies to reflect and clean up. It Takes Two to TangoApplejack was scrubbing dishes silently with Blood. The two could hear what sounded like arguing from the Oranges, but couldn't quite make it out. Babs trotted in. "I told ya, ya can't just go and act like you're on the farm around here." She hopped up on the kitchen counter to sit. "The Oranges need to keep up appearances, even to each other." Applejack sighed. "I suppose, but it just don't feel right to treat family like they're some prissy Canterlot elite. At least I know not to let loose behind a guest..." She finished with a glare to Blood. Blood slowed down her scrubbing a bit. "Okay, I get it, I messed up! I just saw you doin' it and it seemed so...liberating. Mom and Dad sometimes make me feel like I'm in prison." The distant arguing stopped, followed by hoofsteps heard going up the stairs. "Well, it sounds like the wardens came to a decision. How 'bout you and me find out what it was, Applejack? And don't worry, I'll drop more than some hints this time if ya start actin' like a pig." Babs said before picking up a plate. Applejack sighed. "I really should know better; one of my best friends is high-class and I guess I just never notice how much I rub on her... maybe I should apologize to Tangerine, show I can be a better pony and all. Save some dishes for me, Blood, I ain't abandonin' ya." Applejack said before trotting off, Babs following along. She spotted Tangerine in the bathroom, putting makeup on with the door open. Babs held back a ways, leaving it up to Applejack to do the talking. Applejack spoke softly as she leaned on the doorframe. "Uh, hey, auntie. I'm sorry 'bout makin' your daughter think that was alright." Tangerine spoke without looking at Applejack while applying mascara. "Hmmph, as if that's all you did. I have half a mind to chew you out anyways, but my husband made it quite clear that if I did, he'd be in Blood's bed instead of mine for a month." She finally turned to face the farmpony. Applejack kept quiet to listen, looking her in the eyes with an expression that was a mix of regret and curiosity. Tangerine sighed. "I was so shocked by your behavior that I thought I couldn't confront you would becoming rude, but apparently, Mosely thinks you've been acting just fine. He is still ultimately from the Apple farm, and it's that calm, accepting, and strong attitude I fell in love with...anyways, I suppose I should have set some ground rules. So, better late than never: I expect you to not make vulgar jokes at the dinner table, nor to blab to the press about our family, understand? Oh, and Mosely says you're free to..." She put on a slightly disgusted face. "...break wind as you please as long as you pardon yourself around guests. The same rules go for Babs and my daughter." Applejack put a hoof on Tangerine's shoulder. "Understood, and shoot, we should've talked earlier, but...Blood ain't no farmpony." Tangerine picked up the mascara again and began applying it rather hastily. "Mosely's decision, and he was quite clear about it. Oh, and...that pink goop you suggested did stop my diarrhea; thank you for that. Now please get out before I hurt myself." Applejack nodded understandingly, then headed back to tell Blood with a slight smile. Babs had been close enough to hear, and looked rather wide-eyed as she met up with Applejack. On the big day, everpony was in the living room, relaxing, ahead of the dinner. Babs and Blood were sitting up against each other while Aunt & Uncle Orange went over some boring quarterly reports. Applejack was reading a book about the origin of fruits, occasionally glancing to the fillies, who she noticed had been playing together much of the last 2 days. Babs whispered something into Blood's ear, making the filly giggle. "You think so?" "I do! No colt'll resist ya if ya just do the right moves. Here, I'll show ya." Babs replied, then put a hoof around Blood. "Hey baby, mind if I taste that fruit?" Blood blushed and looked back at her, meeting some clearly-practiced bedroom eyes. "I-I don't know how to kiss..." Applejack put down the book a moment, looking to the cousins, curious at where this was headed. Babs smirked and leaned in closer. "I can show ya, sweet thing." Blood nodded ever so slightly. Babs went in clumsily, but managed to get Blood under her, pinned slightly against the couch arm. The two locked lips, and started to smooch tenderly. Tangerine scoffed, but Mosely put a hoof to her mouth. "They're just playing, and she has to learn it somewhere, dear. Cousins are better kissers, I know from experience." He giggle a bit as Tangerine blushed. Applejack put on a goofy smile. "Aww." Babs had clearly started using some tongue, making Blood squeal a bit in surprise and blink before closing her eyes again. After half a minute of the three staring at the scene, Tangerine cleared her throat a little. "Well, our guest will be arriving in an hour...let's give the fillies some privacy already. Mosely, Applejack?" The two nodded and all three trotted out to get to work. Everything was set up perfectly as the three sat down. Babs and Blood trotted in with their hooves around each other, smiling, and sat down together. Applejack looked at them skeptically. Tangerine spoke up. "Blood, are you and Babs dating?" Babs replied. "I was just showin' her what I learned from a little '7 Minutes of Heaven' me and the colts played. She only did the full 7 once, but she's a natural!" Babs gave a wink. "Uh, thanks, Babs, but I think I'll try the colts first. I don't know if I've got a type, but I don't think it's my cousin." Blood said, lightly nudging away Babs' hoof. "Sure thing, but you know where to go if you change your mind~." Babs said, before giving Blood a quick parting peck on the lips, making her blush. Applejack giggled. "Ya'll can be cuter than a bunch of bunnies ridin' puppies, y'know?" "I guess." Replied Blood as she sunk a little in her chair in embarrassment. The doorbell rang, and Aunt & Uncle Orange seemed eager to answer it instead of dwell on Babs being into their daughter. "Why hello Mr. and Mrs. Orange, I trust things will go swimmingly this time?" Swift Sale asked. Mosely replied confidently. "Of course they will, right this way, we even got some seafood!" Swift Sale said hi to the ponies at the table and sat down. "Well I'll be. You didn't have to do that for little old me. Last one to finish their plate's a landlubber, I say!" He chuckled a bit. Applejack shot him a glare. "You're on, sugarcube!" Babs nodded as the three began to dig in. Aunt & Uncle Orange took their seats, smiling at each other from opposite ends of the table. "What the hay." Blood joined in the contest, figuring she could at least beat Babs. Applejack finished first with a mighty belch and a belly pat. "Victory. I'll go on the seas any day." Swift Sale finished later, but burped louder, and cleaned his mouth a bit with a napkin. "Pardon. Indeed, now which filly's a landlubber?" Aunt & Uncle Orange ate rather quietly all the while, allowing their guests to have fun. Blood and Babs were neck and neck, but Blood didn't stop to sip her milk, and beat her by a hair. "Hah, you're a...what's a landlubber?" She asked as she finally grabbed the milk. Babs rolled her eyes as she finished her plate of greens. "Means I'm not cut out to sail. Can't say I disagree, ocean's always been pretty scary. So, should I start callin' you 'Blood and Chum' now?" Blood barely avoided spitting out her milk, swallowing it and then giggling. However, her luck ran out as a loud and long sputter slipped out her rear, squeaking as it ended. She went silent, as did most everypony, who were looking at her. Babs whispered to Blood, who then spoke up. "Uh...sorry, pardon me. Shouldn't've tried to hold it in so long." Tangerine breathed a sigh of relief as Swift began chuckling and patting Blood's back. "You tried. Besides, out on the seas, we say a pony is better heard than smelled, and better out than in!" Everypony chuckled at least a little bit at that, even Tangerine. Applejack was waving goodbye to Swift as Tangerine came up to her. "So...about everypony's behavior." She said, giving a glance to Mosely, who put on a stern face. Applejack put her head and hat down a bit. "I know. I'm awful so-." She was silenced by Babs' hoof. "Ya already said sorry, and Blood showed me that I really should've been clearer you were gonna cause trouble. I just felt like I couldn't say much since you were an adult. Guess adults don't really have all the answers." Mosely cleared his throat and gestured to Tangerine. The mare sighed harshly. "Indeed we don't...my father was in the Guard, and one thing he taught me was that when a captain's guards misbehave, it's the captain's fault. I've been treating everypony like babies, scoffing and turning away when they misbehave, when I should've been taking charge and talking to you instead. It was quite careless of me, and it's my fault that I raised my daughter wrong. Now, little lady..." She turned to Blood, who was listening with rapt attention. "Every time I've come down on you, you've squirmed away, and whatever you will be...it's obvious you don't want to be mommy or daddy. Well, since you managed to behave yourself tonight, how about a peace treaty? We can hammer out the exact terms later, but for now, I'll let Mosely enforce his rather lax rules. All three of you are ungrounded, as well." Blood smiled wide and bounced up and down, cheering. Applejack and Babs simply smiled, then gave each other a hoof five. Within moments, their cutie marks began pulsating. "My my, that's what it was!" Applejack exclaimed. "Wait, the problem was here?" Babs asked, clearly confused. Applejack smiled. "Yep, that's why the map chose us. Who else could get us Apples and Oranges to get along better by talkin' to each other instead of assumin'?" Tangerine put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "Will you be leaving us already now, Applejack?" "Not at all, the map don't say I gotta return. How about I stay here as long as Babs? I wanna talk to her about some things like datin', and she's a good snuggler too!" Applejack chuckled. "You're pretty alright yourself, just don't tell me who I can't date. You're not my mom, toots." Babs replied before giving a friendly nuzzle. Applejack nodded and the two trotted to bed. Author's Note And so ends a tale of miscommunication and clashing culture. It probably won't have a sequel unless I decide to explore Blood being receptive and going beyond some foal's play, and I'm not big on the more lovey-dovey style shipping. As well, I hope that wasn't too much of a thematic departure; it's in there to pace out the chapter better and have something for Tangerine to act reasonably towards.
Prolog: ReminiscingApplejack had just finished up a long day's work on the farm when Apple Bloom came over and sat down to lay with her. "Hey Applejack, just got a letter from Babs sayin' she's stayin' with the Oranges for a few weeks. You think they can get along? Babs didn't seem as fancy as ya said the Oranges were..." The yellow filly said. "Oh, I'm sure they'll get along like gravy and biscuits! I might've felt weird when I was over there as a filly myself, but I got along just fine with 'em! 'sides, Babs knows 'em pretty well, they live pretty close." She replied with her eyes closed. Just then, her cutie mark began to glow brightly. "Huh...another friendship problem. Come along, Apple Bloom." She gestured for the filly to follow, and they trotted to Twilight's castle. "Looks like you'll be headed to Manehattan with...that's strange, I don't think anypony in Ponyville has that cutie mark." Remarked Twilight with a quizzical expression. Apple Bloom instantly got excited and jumped up on the table. "It's Babs' cutie mark! You're gonna solve a friendship problem with my cousin, Applejack!" The filly squeed a little. "Well I'll be! I guess it has been a long time since I really talked to the Oranges. Manehattan, here I come!" She reared up and ran off, but didn't get far before stopping for a bit. "Oh, and watch the farm with Big Mac, okay, Apple Bloom?" "You betcha!" Replied the filly. "Hmm, I wonder what kind of problem those two could solve. The map's never sent a filly and an adult together before..." Remarked Twilight. Applejack packed up quick and took the first train out, barely stopping to send a letter to let Aunt & Uncle Orange know. After an uneventful train ride and a brisk trot, she rung the doorbell, and could faintly hear arguing from inside. "-not our daughter, it would be improper. Now, I should get that..." Said Uncle Orange. "Well Blood is, and they can wait! You should hear the things she's said." Replied Aunt Orange. "Blood has always kept herself under control in public, maybe you're the one who could learn a thing or two." Uncle Orange said, as hoofsteps and a loud scoff could be heard. Applejack shrugged, figuring that it was none of her business. Uncle Orange opened the door. "Ah, I see you weren't kidding about coming right away. I'm afraid we don't have much in the way of accommadations to spare, so you'll have to sleep with Babs in a bed meant for one pony, my apologies." He said regally. Applejack dismissively waved a hoof. "Pffft, it's nothin'. I've slept on some straw before, and Granny always said that bein' together in bed made family feel closer." He nodded and showed her in. Applejack was overwhelmed by a sense of nostalgia for her first visit. Everything seemed smaller, but it was no less strange and fancy. Babs greeted her by running up and hugging. "Applejack! Your cutie mark's glowin' too! How's Apple Bloom?" She asked. "She's fine. I would've brought her, but I reckon the map's a little stingy about tag-alongs." The orange mare said with a smile. Babs nodded. "Of course, of course! Why don't you get unpacked while I show the Oranges here how to deal cards and play poker? Can ya believe they never learned?" "I sure can, sugarcube!" Proclaimed a chuckling Applejack, who got to work with her single bit of luggage.
Unmentionables and Ass-umptionsAuthor's Note Be warned, this chapter gets a little gross (more than later chapters will). Blood Orange is supposed to be this filly from the Apple Family Reunion (presumably the Oranges paid Jonagold to keep an eye on her): Unmentionables and Ass-umptions Applejack trotted into the guest bedroom feeling exhausted. The map had summoned her here to Manehattan after she'd finished up on the farm, and with the long train ride over, she barely was able to unpack. She reassured herself that a good night's sleep would do her wonders, unless Babs had a snoring problem... Babs smiled at the mare and held the covers open. "Uh, hey toots. You sleep with family often? I've always had my own bed before..." "Not much since Apple Bloom got her own bed. Don't be nervous, I don't bite, sugarcube, and remember I'm family." Applejack said softly before slipping in and spooning the filly, as the bed was too small for them to occupy otherwise. "I suppose, but I'm used to more...privacy. So, got any idea what sort of problem we gotta solve?" The filly asked as she got comfy in Applejack's hooves. "Not a clue! Now let's get some rest." She said with a yawn. Babs nodded a little and tried to relax, but kept on shifting position a bit. Applejack was about to ask what was going on when a short, sputtering fart could be heard and the filly promptly went stiff as a board. After several seconds of Silence, Applejack leaned in close and gave Babs a kiss on the forehead. "Don't feel embarrassed, sugarcube, everypony's gotta go and I ain't judgin'. Goodnight." Applejack had some of the best sleep of her life, and was up at sunrise with a spring in her step. Babs groaned as the commotion got her awake too. "Ngh, I'm gonna hit the little filly's room." Applejack nodded. "Sure thing, I'll make some waffles. I'm sure the Oranges'll love 'em." Soon enough, the delicious scent of waffles woke the Oranges, who could be heard heading downstairs. Applejack figured now was a good time to head to the toilet, and got there just in time as Babs finished brushing her teeth and trotted out. But before Applejack could get in, Aunt Orange galloped past and slammed the door. "Guess somepony has to go worse than Rainbow after a cider-drinkin' contest!" Remarked Applejack. Uncle Orange trotted up next to her and gave the slightest nod. Within moments, a loud 'spppllllrrrt' could be heard from the other side of the door, followed by many farting noises. "Oh, poor mare. You know, when Apple Bloom used to drink too much milk and it was comin' out like a waterfall, I found some of that pink stuff in the bottle really helped." Applejack said with a smile. Uncle Orange just groaned. Applejack figured it was best to get back to the waffles, as this could take a while. Babs and Blood Orange were waiting on the table. "Oh hi. How about some uh...scrambled eggs? Mom and Dad never make anything interesting like you've got on that farm." Said the dark orange filly with a black mane. "Sure thing, sugarcube, and good to see ya again, Blood. Wasn't your mane green at the reunion?" Applejack said as she got to making the eggs. "Tryin' another color. Anything's better than red." Blood replied with a shrug. Within minutes, the fillies were digging into a hearty breakfast. The Oranges came in to breakfast a while later, after Blood Orange had already taken off to her bedroom to study. Applejack was eating waffles at a truly alarming rate, and sounded like a wild animal had gotten hold of a family pet. "Um, how's business, Mosely?" Asked Babs. Uncle Orange had his gaze fixated on Applejack's voraciousness as he responded. "...it's uh...doing well. We have a potential new buyer coming to visit in a few days. Your aunt has been getting the jitters, but we think it'll be fine." Applejack belched, said 'pardon', and wiped her lips off. "Jitters? Sounded like like a brown thunderstorm in there!" The Oranges went a bit wide-eyed while Babs simply stopped eating to observe. Aunt Orange cleared her throat. "Y-yes, well, as long as somepony doesn't act a little out of the ordinary, we'll get the deal for sure." Applejack blinked. "Huh, wonder who would do that." Babs interrupted by standing up in her chair. "Hey Applejack, how's about we get out and go already to find that friendship problem. It can't be far, and I'm sure these two want some alone time with their daughter." "Fine by me, let's get goin'!" Declared Applejack.
Paint the Town OrangeApplejack trotted out onto the street slowly. "So, where you reckon we should go, sugarcube? I ain't got a clue where the friendship problem could be." "I'm sure we'll stumble on it sooner or later just goin' around town. I know a great arcade we can hit up." Babs replied with a tail flick, trotting north. "Sure thing. Maybe stop by a restaurant later? Anything that keeps us out and about so we can spot what we need to deal with." Applejack said as she followed. "'long as you're payin'. I don't get much allowance, toots." Babs said with a chuckle. Applejack chuckled back as they trotted to the arcade. After an hour of watching Babs beat several foals at DDR, and not finding too much fun in the pinball machines and racing games, Applejack sighed. "You ready to go?" "I suppose, none of these foals can keep up with me anyways. How about the 'world famous' Fish, Chips, and Cider?" Babs replied. "Can't be as good as my cider, but what the hay." Applejack replied. As they two got going, they noticed a pair of high-class stallions chatting. "You know, I must respect the Oranges for being such fabulous ponies despite who they're related to." Said a fancy pink unicorn with a wavy, bright pink mane. "Indeed, oooh, I think I see one now..." Replied a blue earth pony with a short green mane. Applejack stopped, mouth slightly agape. "Uh...heya. What's that about family and the Oranges? You know, us apples are fine, respectable, hard-workin' ponies. Who cares if some cousins are related to us?" Babs stepped aside a bit, seeming to be scared of being involved. The unicorn seemed confused. "If I may ask, which one of them is a cousin to your family?" "Huh? They aren't my cousins. Mosely's my uncle on my dad's side and Tangerine's his first cousin. I tell ya, Granny Smith has told stories 'bout how surprised she was her firstborn son ran off to be with her in the city!" Applejack said with her unique laugh. The unicorn was aghast. "That's...that's not proper! The papers shall hear of this!" The earth pony grabbed him. "Let's go, I don't wanna know any more about these...incestuous fruit ponies!" They quickly ran off after a shared glance and a nod. "You tell 'em! My family ain't got nothin' to hide!" Applejack shouted. Babs facehooved. "Hey, I'm proud of my family too, but you don't see me braggin' about it. Not everypony here understands." "Okay, fine, let's just go get some food." Applejack replied. Babs nodded as they resumed trotting. Applejack came into the restaurant to the sight of several ponies in a cider drinking competition. "Well I'll be!" Babs smiled. "You do the competin', I think I'm just gonna get some grub." Applejack nodded and got to challenging what looked like a bunch of lightweights. 10 liters of frothy cider later, Applejack patted her belly and belched loudly. The only other mare to make it that far, a pretty pink unicorn mare, gave an only slightly smaller belch, but then almost fell over and barfed into a conveniently-placed garbage can. A grey unicorn stallion gave Applejack a ribbon and a few tickets to the buffet as her reward. "Absolutely astounding, Miss...?" He said. "Applejack." She replied while Babs helped her stand up. "Well, Miss Applejack, we hope to see you again, you've become quite the attraction!" He said, then gestured to a clapping crowd before trotting off. Babs gave her a pat on the back, eliciting another burp. "Congratulations, but ya sure ya should've drank so much? They say too much cider affects your judgement, ya know?" Applejack shrugged, tried to ignore the yellow puddle of what might not be cider around the rear of the sick pink mare, then examined the crowd. The flower trio were there among what looked like a quilting club. "Well I'll be. Rose, Lily, Daisy, didn't expect ya'll to show up here. If ya'll liked that, you should see me fightin' timberwolves. Hoofy and Kicks McGee here can snap 'em like a twig!" Applejack bragged. After a moment, Rose eeped. "Uh, t-there are no timberwolves around, are there?" "'course not. Maybe I could show ya'll by breakin' some uh, lumber or somethin' in the alley back behind this place." Applejack said as she got up, following it up with a strong kick in the air. Babs facehooved hard. Daisy put her hooves on the sides of her head and screamed. "She's gonna kill us! Everypony run!" The entire quilting club screamed as Lily fainted. "Wha? No no, I just wanna show ya'll I can snap things like a twig!" Applejack said, eliciting more shrieks as the ponies dispersed. "Toots, it's time to go." Said Babs as she grabbed Applejack's hoof and yanked her away. Applejack reluctantly complied, trotting a bit as Babs dragged her through the chaos and out the door. Applejack threw the door open and trotted in to the kitchen, where the two Oranges were having some tea while Blood was reading a magazine. She belched loudly as she sat down. "Pardon." Babs sits down next to her. "Uh, hey you three, how's it goin'? We in time for dinner?" "Actually, you two are in time for being grounded." Mosely replied, shocking Babs. He threw down the Manehattan Evening News newspaper, showing that the top story was about the damage done to Fish, Chips, and Cider. The side story was a scandalous piece about the Oranges being related. Applejack stood up. "Wait, that ain't my fault! Everypony just misunderstood! That flower trio has shouted fire in a theater before!" "That may be, but did you have to tell the elite that me and Tangerine are related?!" Mosely for a moment looked furious before he put his hoof to his face, rubbing his temples. "Most of them already know, but now is just a bad time to remind them, we're about to get another business deal." "Oh, well..." Applejack seemed conflicted, before settling on a defiant face. "We ain't got nothin' to hide. You'll see, everypony will realize that you two loved each other so much, nothin' could stop ya. Now, if you're gonna ground me, at least leave Babs alone; she didn't do nothin' to peeve ya!" Mosely's eye began to twitch, but Tangerine put a hoof on his shoulder. "It's alright, honey, we'll get through this." She turned to Applejack. "Of course. You're not to leave the house until everything's resolved, and I will not tolerate such foul language in front of my daughter." Applejack nodded. "What about the friendship problem? We can't solve it in here, and nopony'll listen to a little scamp like me!" Cried Babs. "It can wait, sugarcube." Applejack replied. Blood put down the magazine. "If all of you are done acting like the sky is falling because somepony made some scaredy-cats pee themselves about some awesome Timberwolf killin', can we actually have dinner?" Tangerine gasped. "G-go to your room, we'll bring you some beans for supper." Blood rolled her eyes and trotted away with a scoff. "Typical." Applejack could tell she wasn't gonna be back to Ponyville anytime soon. Author's Note This was the hardest chapter to write. Lots of walking about, little opportunity to hit the points it needed to, and even needing a little rewrite around the cider stuff after publishing to really get it right.
'Flatulence' isn't the Fourth FAnother morning dawned and Applejack was feeling ready to take on whatever the day could bring. She nuzzled Babs awake, then yawned. "Ungh, five more minutes, mom..." The filly replied before opening her eyes to Applejack. "Oh, heya." Applejack gave a yawn, then stretched and scratched herself in the rear a bit. "Mornin', sugarcube." "Mornin'" Babs replied before the two trotted out. From the living room, Applejack could hear Aunt Orange talking to Blood about how to be a host, likely a result of last night's drama. "Now remember, any party needs the Four Fs: Family, Friendship, Food, and Fun. You can't have a party by yourself, without anything to do, or with everypony starved." Blood nodded, seeming bored, as Applejack trotted by. Their eyes met, and Applejack, on her way to the bathroom, smiled, whistled, and farted loudly. Blood giggled while Tangerine scoffed. Right as Applejack opened the bathroom door, Babs tapped her rear a bit. "Yeah?" Applejack asked as she turned around. Babs spoke softly so the others wouldn't hear. "We're not on the farm or at my friend Dumpster Diver's house, ya can't just let rip like that around here unless you're in the bathroom." Applejack rolled her eyes. "We're all family 'round here, sugarcube. 'sides, ain't like the door's soundproof!" Babs shrugged. "I guess...have a nice pee." Applejack chuckled a little and trotted into the bathroom. As the afternoon came, Tangerine had everypony lined up in the kitchen. "Alright, we have a guest coming over and you all need to be on your absolute best behavior. If we leave a bad impression, he may pull out of the deal." She said sternly. Mosely gave a simple "mmhmm" and a nod as he stared into Applejack's eyes. "'course, I know a thing or two 'bout hospitality, and don't you worry, I'll be right as rain!" She said. "Good, he'll be here in thirty minutes. Ready the table with Mosely, I'll be freshening up." Tangerine said before trotting towards the restroom. Applejack got to work putting out plates while Babs laid out the silverware. Blood Orange simply put away some odds and ends lying about as Mosely kept an eye on her. Once everything was ready to go, the four sat down. Applejack cleared her throat. "So, is this food gonna be those fancy little dinky bits o' nothin'? No offense, but when I was a filly, the food was barely a single bite for me!" Mosely smiled. "That was a short social gathering with quite a few ponies, it is customary and cheap yet polite and thoughtful to serve little hors d'oeuvres. Since we're inviting a single stallion to dinner, what we're serving is more substantial." Tangerine came out looking a little fancier than usual and silence reigned again. The doorbell sounded finally, and the Oranges went to get it. Applejack stayed put, listening to the pleasantries. Tangerine opened with a clearly-false compliment. "Ah, Swift Sale, have you lost weight?" The stallion chuckled. "Flattering as ever, Mrs. Orange, but I'm afraid my stomach is demanding I put on more! Would you please show me in?" Mosely politely chuckled as they trotted in together. Applejack turned to see the stallion, a dark blue unicorn with a wavy mane of azure and white and piercing sun-yellow eyes. His cutie mark appeared to be a boat with a large bit sign for a sail. Tangerine came around to make introductions. "Here is Blood, as you know, and two family members staying over, Applejack, and Babs Seed." "Howdy" Applejack replied with a little wave. "Nice t' meet ya, slick." Babs said. He bowed slightly. "Well, nice to meet you two as well. Shall we get started? I worked up quite the appetite on the waves earlier!" He sat down with a slight chuckle. "Of course." Replied Mosely, as he began setting food onto the plates. It was nothing special, mostly just salads, simple soups, and omelettes. Applejack took a whiff and quickly noticed spices she didn't recognize. No doubt the go-to choice of rich ponies who need to make an impression. She quickly commented. "Mmm mmm, smells delicious!" She then followed this up by scarfing a salad and mashed potatos into her mouth, leaving Mosely agape. Swift Sale patted her on the back. "That's the spirit! I've seen too many ponies act like food is to be picked at for scraps, as if we are a common seagull. Real food is to be devoured like you are a mighty shark coming down on a school of fish!" He near-shouted before digging in himself, to the relief of the Oranges. "Exactly! Can't have a rodeo if there ain't no bulls buckin'!" Applejack said as she grabbed a bowl of soup. Tangerine shrugged and used a rather large spoon instead of the regular soup spoon to enjoy her vegetable-tomato soup. "Well, it seems we've gotten off to a good start." Babs and Blood dug in somewhat slowly, followed by Mosely. As Applejack got to her own bowl of soup, the spices overwhelmed her for a moment. "Ah...aaah....ah-choo!" Her sneeze went right onto her plate, leaving Aunt & Uncle Orange once again stunned. Swift Sale seemed not to notice, even as Applejack followed it up by a loud burp. "Pardon." The Oranges truly relaxed, and sounds of soup-slurping could be heard. Swift spoke up. "This is a great meal, it's like you ponies knew just what I wanted! And my compliments to the chef." "Why thank you." Replied Mosely. As Applejack finished her soup, Blood Orange got up suddenly. "It's nice and all, but needs more pepper. Whatever you spiced this with is...kinda gross, Mom. No offense." The filly said, earning a stare from Babs and Tangerine. Blood trotted behind and around Swift to grab the shaker, letting rip a few loud farts just inches from him. Once she sat down, Applejack giggled. "Seems those beans are comin' out! If she's anythin' like me, she'll be like a rattler after a mouse next to a skunk by bedtime!" For a moment, everypony was silent, but Swift, covering his nose, eventually cleared his throat. "I...think I've lost my appetite..." Blood Orange sat down smugly. "More for me!" Tangerine looked like she was about to blow. Swift Sale looked between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Orange, while I loved the meal, I'm afraid I must go. Perhaps we could have dinner again once you've...had a chat with your daughter." He trotted towards the door. Blood Orange just then realized what she was in for. "Uh...whoops?" Tangerine exploded just as the door closed. "THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GROUNDED WITH APPLEJACK, AND BOTH OF YOU ARE CLEANING THIS UP! I...I cannot believe you did this. When I told you of the Four Fs, flatulence was not the fourth, little missy! It was fun, and there is no fun in...in leaving your odor upon our guests! Applejack, I am holding you personally responsible for this! She was imitating you!" Applejack nodded and gulped. "...y-yes ma'am!" Mosely finished eating and beckoned for Tangerine to accompany him to the bedroom, leaving the three younger ponies to reflect and clean up.
It Takes Two to TangoApplejack was scrubbing dishes silently with Blood. The two could hear what sounded like arguing from the Oranges, but couldn't quite make it out. Babs trotted in. "I told ya, ya can't just go and act like you're on the farm around here." She hopped up on the kitchen counter to sit. "The Oranges need to keep up appearances, even to each other." Applejack sighed. "I suppose, but it just don't feel right to treat family like they're some prissy Canterlot elite. At least I know not to let loose behind a guest..." She finished with a glare to Blood. Blood slowed down her scrubbing a bit. "Okay, I get it, I messed up! I just saw you doin' it and it seemed so...liberating. Mom and Dad sometimes make me feel like I'm in prison." The distant arguing stopped, followed by hoofsteps heard going up the stairs. "Well, it sounds like the wardens came to a decision. How 'bout you and me find out what it was, Applejack? And don't worry, I'll drop more than some hints this time if ya start actin' like a pig." Babs said before picking up a plate. Applejack sighed. "I really should know better; one of my best friends is high-class and I guess I just never notice how much I rub on her... maybe I should apologize to Tangerine, show I can be a better pony and all. Save some dishes for me, Blood, I ain't abandonin' ya." Applejack said before trotting off, Babs following along. She spotted Tangerine in the bathroom, putting makeup on with the door open. Babs held back a ways, leaving it up to Applejack to do the talking. Applejack spoke softly as she leaned on the doorframe. "Uh, hey, auntie. I'm sorry 'bout makin' your daughter think that was alright." Tangerine spoke without looking at Applejack while applying mascara. "Hmmph, as if that's all you did. I have half a mind to chew you out anyways, but my husband made it quite clear that if I did, he'd be in Blood's bed instead of mine for a month." She finally turned to face the farmpony. Applejack kept quiet to listen, looking her in the eyes with an expression that was a mix of regret and curiosity. Tangerine sighed. "I was so shocked by your behavior that I thought I couldn't confront you would becoming rude, but apparently, Mosely thinks you've been acting just fine. He is still ultimately from the Apple farm, and it's that calm, accepting, and strong attitude I fell in love with...anyways, I suppose I should have set some ground rules. So, better late than never: I expect you to not make vulgar jokes at the dinner table, nor to blab to the press about our family, understand? Oh, and Mosely says you're free to..." She put on a slightly disgusted face. "...break wind as you please as long as you pardon yourself around guests. The same rules go for Babs and my daughter." Applejack put a hoof on Tangerine's shoulder. "Understood, and shoot, we should've talked earlier, but...Blood ain't no farmpony." Tangerine picked up the mascara again and began applying it rather hastily. "Mosely's decision, and he was quite clear about it. Oh, and...that pink goop you suggested did stop my diarrhea; thank you for that. Now please get out before I hurt myself." Applejack nodded understandingly, then headed back to tell Blood with a slight smile. Babs had been close enough to hear, and looked rather wide-eyed as she met up with Applejack. On the big day, everpony was in the living room, relaxing, ahead of the dinner. Babs and Blood were sitting up against each other while Aunt & Uncle Orange went over some boring quarterly reports. Applejack was reading a book about the origin of fruits, occasionally glancing to the fillies, who she noticed had been playing together much of the last 2 days. Babs whispered something into Blood's ear, making the filly giggle. "You think so?" "I do! No colt'll resist ya if ya just do the right moves. Here, I'll show ya." Babs replied, then put a hoof around Blood. "Hey baby, mind if I taste that fruit?" Blood blushed and looked back at her, meeting some clearly-practiced bedroom eyes. "I-I don't know how to kiss..." Applejack put down the book a moment, looking to the cousins, curious at where this was headed. Babs smirked and leaned in closer. "I can show ya, sweet thing." Blood nodded ever so slightly. Babs went in clumsily, but managed to get Blood under her, pinned slightly against the couch arm. The two locked lips, and started to smooch tenderly. Tangerine scoffed, but Mosely put a hoof to her mouth. "They're just playing, and she has to learn it somewhere, dear. Cousins are better kissers, I know from experience." He giggle a bit as Tangerine blushed. Applejack put on a goofy smile. "Aww." Babs had clearly started using some tongue, making Blood squeal a bit in surprise and blink before closing her eyes again. After half a minute of the three staring at the scene, Tangerine cleared her throat a little. "Well, our guest will be arriving in an hour...let's give the fillies some privacy already. Mosely, Applejack?" The two nodded and all three trotted out to get to work. Everything was set up perfectly as the three sat down. Babs and Blood trotted in with their hooves around each other, smiling, and sat down together. Applejack looked at them skeptically. Tangerine spoke up. "Blood, are you and Babs dating?" Babs replied. "I was just showin' her what I learned from a little '7 Minutes of Heaven' me and the colts played. She only did the full 7 once, but she's a natural!" Babs gave a wink. "Uh, thanks, Babs, but I think I'll try the colts first. I don't know if I've got a type, but I don't think it's my cousin." Blood said, lightly nudging away Babs' hoof. "Sure thing, but you know where to go if you change your mind~." Babs said, before giving Blood a quick parting peck on the lips, making her blush. Applejack giggled. "Ya'll can be cuter than a bunch of bunnies ridin' puppies, y'know?" "I guess." Replied Blood as she sunk a little in her chair in embarrassment. The doorbell rang, and Aunt & Uncle Orange seemed eager to answer it instead of dwell on Babs being into their daughter. "Why hello Mr. and Mrs. Orange, I trust things will go swimmingly this time?" Swift Sale asked. Mosely replied confidently. "Of course they will, right this way, we even got some seafood!" Swift Sale said hi to the ponies at the table and sat down. "Well I'll be. You didn't have to do that for little old me. Last one to finish their plate's a landlubber, I say!" He chuckled a bit. Applejack shot him a glare. "You're on, sugarcube!" Babs nodded as the three began to dig in. Aunt & Uncle Orange took their seats, smiling at each other from opposite ends of the table. "What the hay." Blood joined in the contest, figuring she could at least beat Babs. Applejack finished first with a mighty belch and a belly pat. "Victory. I'll go on the seas any day." Swift Sale finished later, but burped louder, and cleaned his mouth a bit with a napkin. "Pardon. Indeed, now which filly's a landlubber?" Aunt & Uncle Orange ate rather quietly all the while, allowing their guests to have fun. Blood and Babs were neck and neck, but Blood didn't stop to sip her milk, and beat her by a hair. "Hah, you're a...what's a landlubber?" She asked as she finally grabbed the milk. Babs rolled her eyes as she finished her plate of greens. "Means I'm not cut out to sail. Can't say I disagree, ocean's always been pretty scary. So, should I start callin' you 'Blood and Chum' now?" Blood barely avoided spitting out her milk, swallowing it and then giggling. However, her luck ran out as a loud and long sputter slipped out her rear, squeaking as it ended. She went silent, as did most everypony, who were looking at her. Babs whispered to Blood, who then spoke up. "Uh...sorry, pardon me. Shouldn't've tried to hold it in so long." Tangerine breathed a sigh of relief as Swift began chuckling and patting Blood's back. "You tried. Besides, out on the seas, we say a pony is better heard than smelled, and better out than in!" Everypony chuckled at least a little bit at that, even Tangerine. Applejack was waving goodbye to Swift as Tangerine came up to her. "So...about everypony's behavior." She said, giving a glance to Mosely, who put on a stern face. Applejack put her head and hat down a bit. "I know. I'm awful so-." She was silenced by Babs' hoof. "Ya already said sorry, and Blood showed me that I really should've been clearer you were gonna cause trouble. I just felt like I couldn't say much since you were an adult. Guess adults don't really have all the answers." Mosely cleared his throat and gestured to Tangerine. The mare sighed harshly. "Indeed we don't...my father was in the Guard, and one thing he taught me was that when a captain's guards misbehave, it's the captain's fault. I've been treating everypony like babies, scoffing and turning away when they misbehave, when I should've been taking charge and talking to you instead. It was quite careless of me, and it's my fault that I raised my daughter wrong. Now, little lady..." She turned to Blood, who was listening with rapt attention. "Every time I've come down on you, you've squirmed away, and whatever you will be...it's obvious you don't want to be mommy or daddy. Well, since you managed to behave yourself tonight, how about a peace treaty? We can hammer out the exact terms later, but for now, I'll let Mosely enforce his rather lax rules. All three of you are ungrounded, as well." Blood smiled wide and bounced up and down, cheering. Applejack and Babs simply smiled, then gave each other a hoof five. Within moments, their cutie marks began pulsating. "My my, that's what it was!" Applejack exclaimed. "Wait, the problem was here?" Babs asked, clearly confused. Applejack smiled. "Yep, that's why the map chose us. Who else could get us Apples and Oranges to get along better by talkin' to each other instead of assumin'?" Tangerine put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "Will you be leaving us already now, Applejack?" "Not at all, the map don't say I gotta return. How about I stay here as long as Babs? I wanna talk to her about some things like datin', and she's a good snuggler too!" Applejack chuckled. "You're pretty alright yourself, just don't tell me who I can't date. You're not my mom, toots." Babs replied before giving a friendly nuzzle. Applejack nodded and the two trotted to bed. Author's Note And so ends a tale of miscommunication and clashing culture. It probably won't have a sequel unless I decide to explore Blood being receptive and going beyond some foal's play, and I'm not big on the more lovey-dovey style shipping. As well, I hope that wasn't too much of a thematic departure; it's in there to pace out the chapter better and have something for Tangerine to act reasonably towards.
