Is this real? Or am I asleep?

by Duckgame4life

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Original Character, Suicide / Self Harm, Slice of Life, Human, Drama
Length: 2625

Now this is the story of how one choice lead me down a strange path...

Today I graduate high school, finally done with this part of my life, and ready to move on to the next. Thing is, I'm not ready. Im just tired, of school, of home, of life.

It was then that I went to bed and heard a familiar voice.

First attempt at writing a fanfic, so any help is appreciated

Cover is my Oc

Published 2018-04-28 01:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-06 15:31:13 UTC

Its the end of this world

I woke up, 1:37AM

Thats it i cant take this, its over, im finally doing it. I snuck to the kitchen grabed a knife, and went back to my room.

Its been months since i was last in this position, but it will be the last time. I can't bare to think about where my life takes me, I'm abused, unloved, and weak.
Nobody will miss me, they dont care.
Ok im doing it. I grabed the knife, aimed for my throat, and lunged.....

I wake up, what time is it now? I turn to my clock, but its not there. Nothing is there, just empty space. It was then I heard a familiar voice.

"Is this how you want to go? Without making any impact?

"WHO'S THERE?" I turn to where i heard the voice, but its just void.

"I cant tell you yet,but please believe that im a friend that wants to do whats best for you"

"How will you do that? I AM DEAD!!"

"Not yet, but you can die if you want,or take me up on my offer, its your choice

"Ok, im listening....."

"You say that you want to improve some lives? Then agree to my offer and I can take you somewhere its possible"

I thought it over. This may be some sick dream, but if what the voice says is true, i may have hope yet.

"Ok, deal. Take me to this place, let me do something with these hands"

The voice laughed

"Very well then, when next you wake, you will be there, till we meet again"

"WAIT, I never got your name"....

silence....

Well that happened

I woke up, this time in a forest. My head hurt so much. "Maybe im still dreaming" I thought. I raise my hand to pinch myself to check when i noticed something, my skin was light brown, and I had no fingers.

Panicking, i look around for a pond or something, lucky for me there was one 3 feet away. I crawl to it and as I reach the edge I peer into my reflection. What I saw was surprising to say the least.

"no, No, NO BUCKING WAY"

What I saw was a horse, light brown fur, blue mane and purple eyes.

I was a pony, witch ment I was in Equestria.

I never would have thought it was possible, but here I am. With many thoughts going through my head now the main one was this:

"Welp, time to make friends"

Learning about learning

"We are building a school"

"A school... How can ponies as important as the elements be qualified to teach? Twilight and yourself are the only Eggheads smart enough for that"

Starlight rolled her eyes and said "Well it's not an academic school, Princess Twilight told me its a friendship school"

"That makes more sense, the Princess of friendship and her friends spreading their ways to ponies for years to come"

"I know right? The princess told me about her journey across southern Equestria, meeting some interesting folks, including a unicorn with a broken horn and the hippogrifs, that made us realize we need to spread friendship far and wide"

"Another thing that crossed my mind, who will be running the place? Dont the elements have their own jobs to take care of?"

"What do you mean?

"Well, Aj has a farm to run, Rarity has multiple boutiques, Rainbow Dash has her obligations as a wonder bolt,Pinkie runs Sugercube Corner, and Fluttershy has that animal sanctuary to mentain. To be honest, you and twilight are the only ones i can think who would have enough free time to teach"

"I'm sure Twilight has it all planned out"

"If you say so"
Just then I heard a low growl sound, must be my stomach again
"Boy, I'm starving. Wish i didn't leave my money at home, or at least pack a snack"

"Well I was actually on my way to go eat lunch with a friend, want to tag along?

Lunch, with Starlight? I'm fine with that

"Sure, why not?"

And off we went

Meeting the mare of my dreams: part 1

"... And thats how Trixie bested a manticore with the help of her new best friend"
"Oh wow, the show must go on with you I see, but that did seem dangerous, what if Starlight never came back?"
Both Trixie and Starlight stopped at that statement, looked at each other, then at me.
"Don't want to talk about it? Thats fine, I didnt mean to ask such a personal thing."
We got back to the castle, and there was the most regal pony in the land

"Hey Starlight, hey Trixie,how was lunch?who's this? she said looking at me.
Twilight Sparkle, princess of friendship. I was so in awe of those wings, she always was a good magic user, but dam those wings were nice,I wish I were a Pegasus.

"Glad to meet you, Ms Sparkle, I'm Muddy Marsh, but please, call me M"

"Well M, what brings you to Ponyvile?"

"Two reasons actually, firstly I'd like to thank you on defeating the storm king, that must have been no easy feet"
"Well I had some help from my friends, witch always makes things easier"

"Second of all, I have a problem. Would you mind going inside to talk one on one?"
"I dont see why not. Starlight, show M to the map room, I'll be there in a moment,need to check up on the school's process.
"Sure thing Twilight"

As I waited for Twilight, I took in the grandeur of the room I was in.
Seven thrones, one each for the mane 6 and Spike. In the center was the map, Showing everywhere from Yakyyakistan to Mt. Aris and everything in between. Just then, Twilight came in.
"Ok M, we're alone, I take it you have a problem with your friends?
"Not exactly, see the truth is......" I think about it, I want to tell her everything, but I feel she would care more about where I'm from and ask questions rather than help. Twilight may be the princess of friendship, but she's also someone who wants to learn all she can."...... I ran away from home."

"Why would you do that?"
"Cause I felt worthless, one parent who puts so much pressure on my future, another who doesn't want anything to do with me, and an older brother who constantly abused me to the point of tears. On top of witch I have no friends, and have you seen my flank? No mark. Im a grown ma-stallion and i still dont know what to do with my life"

"Oh, I can see why you left M, but why come here?
"To see the mare who I had my heart on since the moment I heard of her"

Twilight blushed

"Not you, one of your friends."
She stopped blushing and looked at me. Did she know my secret? "Oh, well I can tell there's more to this than you're saying, why dont you tell me who it is and maybe she can get you to open up"
"Ok, I tell you" I walked over to her throne and raised a hoof "It's her....."

My life thus far

Today was no ordinary day, I knew that from the moment I got up.

Today's the last day of school, more importantly grade 12. I had finally graduated high school. It wasn't easy, but I did it, barely: 67% in math, 62 in English, and 54 in both science and social studies. I knew i tanked the finals, but that math grade bothers me the most. Math is my best subject, and i did so bad. But im done now and can take a break soon. Well that starts tomorrow, i have one last day with my classmates, the ceremony and dinner tonight and then i can think about my future.

The one thing I've dread since grade 8....

Life after school.....

Author's Note

Welcome to my fic, its a typical HiE story but i figured this would be a good start to learn the basics
Leave comment on how i can improve below, or if you like the story

The last night

I'm sure my other classmates were excited and had everything planned out, but me? I had no clue.

See I'm what people call autistic, supposedly smart academicly, bad socialy. And yet all my life I have had no friends, my family cared little of me and looking at my grades, I feel so dumb.

But now I'm at the dinner. Sitting there was my mom and dad, my older brother, and his boyfriend Eddy. I look at the table and think, "The person here I hate the least isn't related to me, why is that?". Its baffling, but true. My mom put so much pressure on me for the exams, and when i failed them, all she said was "you could have done better". Dad hardly pays any attention to me, and my brother had spent the last 5 years tormenting me at home, beating me, forcing me to bring him food when he is IN THE KITCHEN, and constantly harassing me for liking mlp.

Im gald my brother moved out recently, but that just means I have do do all his chores he did, YAY ME........
But for now I'll just eat supper, go home and deal with the misery tomorrow.

It cant get worse, RIGHT?

Well i was wrong. Got home and mom instantly asked what im doing next. I told her i have no clue, to witch i get slapped. She nagged at me for an hour about how i should have thought about this months in advance and I'm not gonna live with them forever. I knew that, but honestly? I dont know where I'd go. I wish i could just die and never have to deal with it. Im not ready to go out in this world and make something of myself. And i never will....

Making my way to town

Well I've been told my whole life I can be whatever i want, but this? This was the most crazy thing I could think of.

Now I've seen enough of this world before to know I'm near Ponyvile, and that the one I'd admire so much is there. So I started to trot on out of the forest, heading west.

Eventually I saw railroad, and if I'm right, north leads me to Ponyvile. So I followed the tracks north. As I went on many things came across my mind:

Will she be home?
Will she busy with her friends?
Or maybe out on a mission?
She does run her own establishment, will she want a relationship with someone like me? Somebody who doesn't even know why he's here, who wasn't here yesterday?

All i know is, her and her friends are definitely the ponies I need to see about this.
About why I'm here
About what I need to do here
About how I can change lives

Author's Note

Yay, vague love interest
If anybody can guess who im talking about gets a cookie

Welcome to Ponyvile

Judging by the position of the sun, I'd say its about noon. Witch was good cause i was hungry, and i had just made it to town. I waa about to go get some food when I realized a sad truth, I'm broke.

I came in the world with nothing, no money, no friends, not even a saddle bag.
So much for lunch.

I continued down the dirt path looking at all the houses when i recognized the large, shiny building in front of me, THE CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP. Beside that was a group on ponies constructing another building. I looked around for anypony I knew, before long I found someone.

"Hey there, you new in town? Haven't seen you around before."
Starlight Glimmer, student of Twilight, former villain, talented magic user, the way I could describe her were endless.

"Yes I am, I'm from........" I paused, should I tell her now? I was hoping to come up with a fake place on the way over, or at least not reveal where i was from quite so soon

"From?" Starlight asked

"From up north"

"So like Crystal empire north or...?

"Not quite as far, I dont even think my hometown is even on the map" At least that was true

"Ok...so what's your name?

Now that I had prepared
"Muddy Marsh, but my friends call me M"

"Ok M, what brings you to Ponyvile?

I think to myself, what was the recent disaster again? OH right

"I heard of the storm king's defeat and wanted to talk with the ponies who accomplished such a task"

"Word travels fast I see" Starlight replied "Well Twilight isnt here right now but i can pass a message to her when she gets back

"Thanks, so what's everypony building here?"

Lunch time

As Starlight and I went down to a cafe to eat, more things came across my mind
Who were we meeting?
Will I even like pony food?
When should I tell someone about where I'm from?

We go to sit down, witch feels weird, but I will get used to it. Stralight was looking around and said

"Where is she? Not like her to be late..."

As if on cue, smoke appeared out of nowhere between me and Starlight

"BEHOLD, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS ARRIVED"

I don't know about her punctuality, but she does know how to make an entrance
"Hey Starlight,whose the lucky stallion? And have you told sunburst about him?

Me and Starlight look at each other

"ITS NOT LIKE THAT" we both say in unison

"Really? Then who is he? Trixie asked

"Name's Marsh, Muddy Marsh, but my friends call me M"

"He new in town and came by the school, we talked and I invited him to lunch, thats all."
"So you haven't told Sunburst?"
"Considering we've been together since I got here, and your the first pony she's talked to since we've met? No"
"So why come to Ponyvile of all places? It certainly wasn't to see Trixie...
I told her the same story I said to Starlight earlier
"Yeah, Trixie would have helped out but .....
"They had the jump on you two?"
They both nod
Somepony came to take our order
Starlight ordered a tea
Trixie ordered a peanut butter cracker platter
As for myself? Honestly I didnt think anything sounded too appealing, almost everything had hay or some other plant in it
"I will take 2 blueberry muffins and a water please"
As the waiter left,Starlight looked at me
"Just some muffins? Thought you said you hadn't had breakfast today M?"
"Never been a heavy eater, besides I'd rather not get anything too big. You did say you're paying right?"
"Your right, I did say that"

Soon our food came, and just as I thought, the muffins were sweet, not much different then the ones back home to be honest. I'll have to try some hayfries next, after all, if im gonna live in this world, better get used to the food.

"Well that was yummy, best muffins I've had in a while"
As Starlight paid, me and Trixie were sitting there awkwardly, so I start a conversation
"So Trixie was it? I take it you and Starlight are good friends, how did you two meet?" I may already know this story but I also know Trixie loves to talk about herself

"Well you see, it started one day at the spa....