A Trip to Where Giants Reign
Pharynx was glad to be on a mission again. Back home, Thorax had finally gotten around to making arrangements for the changeling Hive’s defences, with the repeated disasters in their food supplies finally taken care of. The former military ‘lings were getting back into regular training, and the infrastructure of the Hive was being adapted for at least a slightly higher degree of security.
Pharynx was nowhere near all that bustling activity, though. He was now in Equestria, flying across the plains to purchase new supplies for the Hive. Specifically, he was getting guard animals. Thorax had been most insistent he should get something good, and to listen to his companion, a pony expert sent on special assignment by Celestia herself to talk to Thorax before joining Pharynx on this little shopping trip.
“Are you sure this is the right way?” Pharynx asked.
“Umm, yes,” came the meek reply. “It’s just a little further to the Emporium. That’s what Rainbow Dash said, and Doctor Fauna.”
Pharynx stifled a groan. Of all the ponies Thorax and Celestia could have saddled him with, it had to be this yellow-belly, pink-haired pansy of a mare. The name alone, Fluttershy, was enough to make him sick to his stomach. As far as he was concerned, anyone naming their child after a butterfly should at least make it sound intimidating, but apparently ponies didn’t care, unlike their neighbours. The eagles, for example, would never make that mistake. The eagles typically named their young after more lethal creatures, like Viper, or Panther, or Teemo.
That train of thought led him back to when he was first sent to kindergarten: hearing all those funny names, learning about different cultures, traumatising the teachers.
He chuckled to himself. Took those eagles two hours to get unstuck from the wall.
Good times, when he could show off what changelings were truly capable of, when he could command respect, even as a youngling. Not like now, with the sharp angles of his wings dulled into a grossly inadequate dragonfly shape, all the functional surface-enlarging holes of his body gone, and his carapace far too shiny and colourful to be intimidating. Though the green of his body was a dark military green, that was a plus. And he was pretty sure he’d seen the same shade of purple his carapace sported on something venomous, so that was bound to be scary to some species somewhere. He could have done without the mandible-shaped antlers, but Thorax had a bigger version of those, and Thorax was now a leader, so Pharynx getting them wasn’t entirely misplaced.
He still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this new body.
Not that he didn’t have any alternatives available.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Pharynx?” Fluttershy asked, snapping him out of his fond childhood memories and the less fond pondering on his body image. “Keeping pets isn’t easy, and, umm, changelings aren’t used to it, I think. Plus, you know, some guard animals can be a teensy tiny bit difficult to keep under control.”
“I’m sure,” Pharynx replied. “The Hive needs a strong defence, and besides, you heard Thorax: that’s what Celestia used to do. If we’re going to be more like ponies, we should follow her example.”
“Yes, she does have Philomena as a personal guard animal. And Cerberus to guard Tartarus.”
“And you and your friends to guard her kingdom.”
“Exactly.” Fluttershy nodded, before realising what the changeling had implied there. “Wait.”
“Is that it, there?” Pharynx pointed to what looked like a circus tent down below, in the middle of nowhere. It was surrounded by cages, and had a small house nearby, presumably living quarters.
“Looks like it.”
When they landed, the owner came out. Judging from the sign hanging up above the entrance, Pharynx assumed the grey Earth pony stallion was Cratus, and that this stallion was crazy, or the creatures he was selling were. Option one probably increased the odds of option two.
“Hi, there. I’m Cratus Thundereye, welcome to Cratus’ Crazy Critters. You must be Pharynx and Fluttershy. Have we met before, miss?” He held out a hoof, which Fluttershy shook.
“At the Trader’s Fair, yes.”
“Right, the Orthros handler. Very impressive technique.” He shook Pharynx’s hoof, slowly and carefully, as the changeling was decidedly less cheerful than his companion. “So, what is it you need? Princess Celestia’s letter mentioned something about security problems, but as you can see, there are plenty of options for that.”
Pharynx regarded the stranger, taking note of his mannerisms and choice of dress, on the off chance such a form ever came in useful. Cratus kept his mane covered with a green bandana that trailed far down, presumably for parasite protection, and he wore padding on his belly and back, held together by black belts. He also had bracers on his front legs and bandages on his hind legs, both things Pharynx took as a good sign that everything here was a hazard in some capacity.
This bearded stallion was a far cry from the meek little ponies Pharynx had learned to look down on. Still, this was only a pony, and he shook his hoof without further remark. “Alright, then, Mister Cratus.”
“Please, call me Thundereye. ‘Cratus’ is my brand name. Sounds nice and scary.” He winked, gesturing to the red mark on his right eye. Judging from the sound of his voice, that name was quite necessary. He sounded older than he looked, which Pharynx presumed was due to having to yell at monsters all day.
“I am in need of guard animals to secure our border, something to serve as an additional line of defence in case our army is stretched thin. What monsters can you deliver, salespony?”
Thundereye smiled. “For perimeter patrolling? Oh, that’s easy: I have Observers with full three sixty vision in all directions, both the Sharingan variant and the Byakugan variant.” He walked them to a set of cages containing creatures that looked like little more than flesh balloons with eyes strewn about their surface and tentacles dangling from below. Some of them had red eyes, the others had white eyes. None of the eyes blinked in sync with another, so the creatures never had more than one eye closed at a time.
“What does that mean?” Fluttershy asked.
“Byakugan means each individual eye can see in three sixty vision and can see through the skin to pinpoint enemies’s pressure points. Very handy in case they get into a scuffle, impossible to be blinded.”
“Sounds promising,” Pharynx leaned closer to one of the white-eyed ones. “What else can they do with it?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“When this Beaky Gun thing lets them see the weak points, what do they do with it? How do they attack? Or do they signal it to their handlers somehow?”
The stallion looked away. “Err, no, no they don’t. Their language system is still too primitive. You really only want these when stealthy enemies are a problem.”
“And their means of attack?”
“They scream loudly, and they have nettle cells on their tentacles. Very effective against foes of an etheric nature, good way of disrupting spellcasters, not that useful for grunt work.”
Pharynx grumbled. At least this Earth pony was honest. Then again, Thundereye had gotten advance warning from Princess Celestia, so scamming wasn’t an option anyway. “What about the other breed? Cherry Gun?”
“Sharingan. Lets them see everything in slow motion and dodge enemy attacks, even copy the patterns. Same offensive capacities, though, or lack thereof.”
Pharynx stared at the balloon-like things, then grumbled at Fluttershy. She did not get the message, making him grumble all the louder. “Any Observers with useful eye powers?”
“I’ve got some with the Mulligan eyes, too, but ponies only use them as companion animals. They’re popular for retirement homes.”
“And what can they do?” Fluttershy asked.
“Mostly they cheat at cards.”
Pharynx rolled his eyes. “I think we’ll pass on the Observers, then.”
“Something with a little more bite, then? I have just the thing: some fresh Orthros, straight out of training. Two-headed dogs, and both heads are shepherds. One is a Mawlinois shepherd, the other a Germane.”
“Is there a difference?” Pharynx asked.
“A Mawlinois shepherd bites once to drag the enemy down,” Fluttershy replied. “Germanes like keep snapping and biting, but they risk letting go in the process. Putting both on the same body is, umm, you know, practical.”
“But no ranged attacks? No magic, no firebreath, no nothing?”
Thundereye shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of, no. I’ve heard of puppies that shoot lasers out of their eyes, but I’ve yet to see one.”
Fluttershy paid it no heed. She’d already found one of the chained beasts and was currently in the process of assessing the merchandise by means of belly-rubbing. “Aww, who’s a good boy? Yes, you are, yes, you are. Oh, you’re just the sweetest wittle two-headed guard dog, aren’t you?”
Pharynx felt a quiver go through his wings. “Perhaps there’s been a miscommunication, Mister Thundereye. I need an animal specifically to help guard our Hive, not a royal pet. Something fierce, something powerful, Maulwurf-levels of ruthlessness at least. Something vicious that’ll make anyone think twice about attacking us.” He bared his fangs for effect.
Thundereye ran a hoof through his beard. “So you would like something, say, fearless?”
“Fearless would be a good start,” the changeling said with a curt nod.
“I suppose you could try honey badgers, then. But they’re tricky to keep fed, and they have a habit of breaking out. Plus, they scare the living daylights out of everything else I have.” The stallion shuddered.
For the first time that day, Pharynx smiled. “Sounds like my kind of animal. Where are they?”
“Right over there.” Thundereye pointed to a clearing where a group of black and white badger-like creatures lazed about. They lacked the pointed snout of the normal Equestrian badger, though, sporting a rounder skull and a flatter muzzle of an otterish persuasion.
“You don’t keep them in a cage?” Fluttershy asked.
“Not anymore. Honey badgers break out of enclosures, and they eat cages.”
Fluttershy immediately went to cuddle one of the critters, pinching its cheek and rubbing along its back, making the skin come loose, from the looks of it. “Aww, this is so cute, and so much floppy skin, too.”
Thundereye nodded. “Yes, they’re quite the hoofful. Immune to most any toxin, jaws that can lock even beyond death, a bite powerful enough to kill an elephant, and their thick skin is so flexible, predators can bite them in the neck and still the badgers will have enough wiggle room to turn around and bite said predator in the throat. On top of that, they are completely fearless, I assure you. A single one of them will walk up to a pack of lions and steal their food, doesn’t think twice about it.”
Pharynx grunted. “Oh. Yeah, that sounds… that all sounds great, Mister Thundereye. But they’re still not quite what I’m looking for.”
“Ah, of course, silly me. You want to see the basilisks, don’t you? Excellent choice, perfect for turret warfare, just tell me what and how far they should spit and I’ll see which one’s right for you.”
“I have a better idea.” Pharynx marched past the ponies and got a good amount of distance between them. Then he shifted into his Screecher Wasp form and let loose a bloodcurdling cry.
Silence descended over the grounds. The Observers had their eyes clenched shut in fear. The Orthroses all whimpered. The honey badgers only looked mildly irked, but walked off, regardless.
Thundereye himself quirked an eyebrow at the beast form Pharynx had chosen. It had hints of a wasp, except each pair of legs was on a different segment of its body, rather than having all three in the middle. The head was completely off, too, more of a mammalian skull shape with donkey ears than a regular insectoid one. Its front legs were impressive; thin up top but ending in thicker stinger-like structures at the bottom. The whole thing was mostly black with purple stripes on its legs and body, with a red mane going back where its neck would be, though how much of that was its natural form and how much was Pharynx adding flourishes to it, the stallion couldn’t say. Even more confusing, it had five eyes and four segments, neither number really matching a natural-born creature. Then again, it was hard to tell sometimes without a dissection.
To Cratus Thundereye, this was indeed a strange form to see a changeling take.
He looked to Fluttershy, who was likewise confused.
Pharynx shifted back and hissed. “All of these animals are useless! I need something that’s not scared of changelings or our enemies, an animal that can fight alongside us. Something powerful, not these lilly-livered pony pets!” He stopped when Fluttershy nudged him. “Oh, right. Ahem, sorry, Mister Salespony, sir, but it seems the wares are not to the specifications of my Hive. Thank you anyway.”
“That’s much better,” the mare said. “See? It’s not that hard to be polite, is it?”
Thundereye rubbed his bearded chin, nodding. “I see your point, yes. That is a tall order, but I certainly can’t fault your taste. From what I heard, your Hive is not easily defended without that old throne. Forgive my candour, but can’t you just turn into one of these animals? Don’t you already have an army of these things ready, technically?”
“It’s a little more complicated than that.” Pharynx looked away. “Military secrets, international espionage, very hush-hush.”
“Pharynx.” Fluttershy nudged him again. “What did Thorax say?”
“Okay, fine. For starters, we don’t have a lot of fighters anymore to begin with. Second, even if we did, they’re not good enough as it is and they can’t all turn into monsters. We can change into anything, sure, but we need a model to copy. I can turn into a Screecher Wasp, but that’s my trick, I’m the only one.”
Thundereye shrugged. “And you cannot simply come up with an appropriate form, then? Fabricate something new? If you wish to make yourself into a chimera, I can show you plenty of interesting creatures with a myriad of useful traits. I’ve had zebra shamans come around for that very purpose, they always leave satisfied.”
“No, we’ve tried that trick already with dancer girls, it doesn’t work on living creatures. We can’t just take one girl’s thighs and another girl’s face; we need to have the whole thing in front of us or things get muddled. That’s what got Thorax beaten up.”
Fluttershy’s ears twitched. “Your brother tried to turn into a dancing girl?”
Never one to pass up an opportunity to embarrass his brother, Pharynx elaborated. “When he was little. We figured since he was always playing with dolls, he might as well. Unfortunately, he didn’t get it right, and the girls saw through the charade pretty quickly. We’re still not sure what gave it away.” He scratched his head. “I think he got the tail wrong, but it might have been the beard.”
The ponies exchanged a glance, both thinking the same thing. “Beard?”
Thorax didn’t notice. “Anyway, we prefer not to gamble with these things anymore, you never know what might go wrong on the inside if you mix the bloods wrong. No, the real problem is we don’t have enough changelings able and willing to fight, now that we’ve stopped feeding the way we used to. We need bigger numbers. Even if we did have enough warriors, we’d still need to bring one of these things to use as an example. We can’t copy each other, if that’s what you mean.”
Thundereye nodded. “That was my first idea, yes, just checking. Morphic field dilution, I presume? The shamans have the same issue.”
“Probably. There’s a lot more to changing shape than you might think. It’s not as easy as it looks, or as convenient.”
The stallion gave him a knowing nod and said, “I understand completely. If that’s what you have to work with, I’m afraid I don’t have the means to secure your home, at least not here. Most of my beasts are more suited for home protection, urban life. The larger monsters are a custom order for circuses and the like, they’re not meant for combat at all, only show.”
“Right.” Pharynx nodded. “Thanks anyway.”
“Although,” Thundereye started before the pair could leave. “There is one option we could try, but I can’t guarantee it’ll work. We could see what we find out in the wilds.”
Fluttershy shivered. “You want to go hunting?”
“If Prince Pharynx is so inclined. I have in my possession a telelocator staff. It can teleport us to any number of bases I have set up.”
“But all of them have the same animals you have here, don’t they?” Pharynx remarked.
“Not quite. There is a place we can travel to that would be fresh ground: the Limos Valley. I have a base camp there, but I’ve never explored far. I’d be more than willing to take you, let you investigate and choose for yourself if anything is to your liking.”
Pharynx growled under his breath. “Is your camp near the shore, or away from it?”
“It’s not at the shoreline, but you could walk there from my base if you wanted to. And it’s not too close to the Limos River itself, either. You’ve been there?”
“I have. The Limos Valley is a brutal place, full of strange and violent creatures. Not only that, but the land itself is cursed. Shadows that can come to life, trees that try to stab you, flowers whose mere presence drains your sanity.” Pharynx hissed and rubbed his right shoulder. “Why would a pony want to set up a base there?”
Thundereye chuckled. “It’s a very rich place to harvest spider silk, among other things. The market demand has skyrocketed the past few years, but unfortunately it is next to impossible to accumulate. The dens that litter the landscape are fiercely guarded, and as you may know, the larger dens...”
“Can get up and bite you even if the spiders don’t, I know. So why would I want to go there? What’s out there that you don’t have here?”
“Honestly? I do not know. The Royal Guard commissions me every so often to make the trip with a few of their soldiers, to check the borders of the territory, make sure there haven’t been any catastrophes. Usually the pegasi do a quick flight, the unicorns scan the area, and me and the other Earth ponies, we, ah, we collect what we can. I never stray too far from my base camp when the Guards are around, but, as the colonists used to say, inland lie the riches. The Limos Valley is secluded, magical, and shrouded in myth and legend. Stories about the reign of the giants there are plentiful, one can only assume the giants themselves are, likewise, well represented. The Royal Guard is under strict orders not to go too deep, but technically it’s unclaimed territory, so anyone is free to explore at their own risk. There’s bound to be a monstrosity or two there that suits your needs.”
Fluttershy got in between the two. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude, but this sounds like a terrible idea. You can’t just capture some poor, innocent creature and drag it away from home. I’m sorry, but I simply cannot allow it.”
Pharynx nodded reluctantly. “Hmm, good point. If we take an animal that wants to stay, it’s useless to the Hive.”
Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’d better come along to make sure we only take the volunteers.”
Then she gulped. “Oh, me and my big mouth.”
“When can we leave?”
“I cannot power the staff on my own. It only operates on a particular type of fuel-”
Without further ado, Pharynx gagged and coughed up what looked like a dust bunny made of oil. It stuck to the ground and swirled every which way, even bubbling without losing its volume. “Nightmare fuel, right? Will that do?”
“Yes, that’ll do nicely. Enough to get us there and back again, several trips if we need to.”
“And your fee?”
With a grin, Thundereye said, “If you are willing to risk a journey deeper into the Valley, so am I. I’ve always wanted to take a little trip without any, shall we say, officials in the mix. Let me go grab my gear, and we’ll be off.”
The telelocator station was a simple, primitive contraption made of crystals and sticks, but it got the job done. All they had to do was stand in a designated circle, let Thundereye wave the staff to create the portal and they were gone.
When they blinked back into place, the three were in the wilds. Evergreens, birch trees, the smell of flowers, Pharynx had to suppress a gag at the sights and smells. Still, the accommodations were up to snuff. “Nice base you got here.”
“Thank you,” Thundereye replied. “We have an icebox here that should still be fully stocked, there’s a crockpot over there if you feel like getting creative with the local flora, we even have some drying racks for fruit strips.”
Pharynx looked over at the strips of fruit lying on woven basket sheets. They were dessicated, dead, dry husks, nothing at all like the vibrantly coloured fruits they once were. Taking a few off the sheets for supplies, he dared bite into what he presumed used to be melon.
It was tough, chewy, and sugary. Devoid of frivolity, not pretty to look at at all, purely made for convenience’s sake in a harsh environment.
Pharynx wanted some racks like these back home; all the changeling fine cuisine made him nauseated. Then again, his kinslings were still only inventing their cuisine at the moment, they couldn’t be expected to know that much about it without stealing it from other civilisations. Besides that, he still wasn’t entirely sure how his digestive system was supposed to work without any love to ruminate on.
“So which way do we go first?” Fluttershy asked. “Do you want me and Pharynx to go explore?”
“No!” Thundereye held up his front hooves. “Do not split up around here, whatever you do. This place is dangerous.”
“Oh, I’m sure it can’t be that bad. I live near the Everfree Forest, you know.”
Pharynx felt the attack coming, more than he heard it. “Get down!”
With a loud wooden crack, a branch popped out of the ground. It would have hit Fluttershy square in the shoulder if Thundereye hadn’t pushed her out of the way.
“Good reflexes, too,” Pharynx noted. “What is that?”
The branch slowly retreated down into the ground. A nervous chittering filled the air.
“Ah, that would be a poison birchnut tree. And if it’s doing that, that usually means nippy things are coming.” Thundereye looked around.
“Nippy things you can shoot?” Pharynx asked.
“If you could, please. I have a saw in my tent, won’t be long.”
Pharynx hardly needed to see his targets; he heard the yelling of the things in the bushes already. Squinting, he shot a threesome of green bolts into the air, bombarding the enemy before it could get any closer.
Thundereye marched past with what looked like a circular saw and gestured to the changeling. “Excellent, we can have roasted birchnuts if we’re feeling peckish. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get some firewood.”
Fluttershy got back onto her hooves and up in the air in time to see Thundereye brutally murder a tree about twenty paces away. At least, she thought it was a tree. Most trees didn’t have mouths forming in their foliage, or eyes floating above it.
“There we go,” Thundereye said as the thing fell down, its eye and leafy mouth vanishing after a dramatic final roar. “Sorry about that, they don’t usually get this close.”
“Did you just kill that thing?” Pharynx asked.
“No, it was already dead. And cursed.” Thundereye picked up the now roasted nuts that had sprouted legs and teeth for attacking. “Lots of things are off in the Limos Valley, this is one of them. Intel says this used to be a site where phycoliches were initiated, if you can believe it.”
Fluttershy blushed and gagged. “Oh, umm, oh dear. They didn’t leave any messes behind, did they?”
Thundereye shook his head. “No, no, phyco-liches. Masters of necromancy, death magic, but specialised in the life and death of plants and fungi. They’re gone now, but their magic flares up occasionally. It’s quite harmless once you chop the tree down, I assure you.”
“Uhuh. So we can’t transplant any of those nuts for defence?” Pharynx asked.
“Oh, I wish,” the stallion said with an exasperated sigh. “They’d make securing my paddocks so much easier. But no, that’s purely the result of magic pollution: it won’t work outside this region.”
“Okay. So what do we do next?”
Thundereye looked up at the clouds. “We have daylight aplenty, so I suggest we explore until lunch, then make our way back. Just remember, the Limos Valley is treacherous. The further inland you go, the greater the risk. Insanity creeps up at the mind here, the land itself shifts. And if you get lost, well, if the things out here don’t get you, then the starvation will.”
“Right, got it. Don’t split up, don’t go nuts, don’t starve,” Pharynx said. “Which way are we going?”
“We’ll travel along the road. One of you can take the high view to scout for danger, at least until the canopy starts getting too thick.” Thundereye walked past them towards his tent, fetching some bags and a pair of helmets. He offered one to Fluttershy, which she eagerly accepted, but Pharynx politely declined his.
“I know the rules around here. I can make my own light, and my head is pretty hard as it is.”
“Ah, of course. Mind if I ask where you’ve been?”
“Ocean-side,” came the gruff reply. “Island-hopping after I got blasted out of Canterlot. And a couple of trips looking for relics to steal, but closer to the source, up in the mountains.”
“Oh, nice. Is that where you got that giant wasp shape from, then?”
Pharynx’s ears drooped. “No. I don’t remember where I got that one.”
Fluttershy quirked an eyebrow at that. Pharynx sounded sad to admit that, or scared. But scared of what?
Thundereye, noticing the changeling’s apprehension, changed the subject. “And are the rumours true? Of the monster that stalks the coastline?”
It worked; Pharynx growled as the fight returned to his soul. Again, he rubbed at his right shoulder. “There’s more than one, but yes. I’d love to bring a few of them home. I’d have gone there first if it could help, but, you know, it’s not exactly standard issue.”
“That it is not. But don’t worry; if we come across it on solid ground, we can take it home, no problem. If you wish, of course.”
“I might have to, if we don’t find anything better.”
Fluttershy squinted. “What are you two talking about?”
“A legend that haunts the seas around here, but we’re not likely to run into it this far inland,” Thundereye replied. “Still, best you don’t speak its name. You never know.”
“Agreed. Fluttershy, you get up, I’ll take the front. We’ll follow the road as far as we can, take a turn when we find anything interesting. If we find a monster, I take it the beastmaster can deal with it?”
“Never you fear, Prince Pharynx, I have plenty of weapons and restraints in my bags, and some additional armour, if we need it.”
“I won’t.”
“Huh. So you’re fireproof, iceproof and lightningproof?”
“Occasionally. Usually not at the same time.” Pharynx thought for a moment. “Will I need to be?”
“Only one way to find out.”
The three trekked through the deciduous forest, dodging the odd growling and gurgling birchnut tree before it could strike. Fluttershy landed when they left the road, at Thundereye’s request, as the danger was apparently capable of hitting them in the air from here on out, too.
Then the forest ended, abruptly. It went from dry forest to wet green grass with nothing in between.
“Oh, my. What is this?” Fluttershy dug her hooves at the ground. “The ground here is so different all of a sudden.”
“That would be the River Limos working its magic,” Thundereye replied as he led the way forward. “Biomes don’t flow into one another naturally; they’re separated along harsh lines. They shift from time to time, too. This seems to be the grassland biome. Should be a good hunting spot.”
“We still haven’t seen any actual animals, though,” Pharynx remarked, looking around. “Do you think they’re hiding from us?”
Fluttershy hmm-ed and adjusted her helmet. Part of her wondered how much Rarity would scold her for getting such dreadful helmet hair. “I’m sure if we’re patient and quiet, something will-”
“Oh, beehives!” Thundereye looked around when they came over a hill. “I wonder if there are any dark petals about. There’s a guy in Manehattan who’ll pay a mint for black honey.”
“What are those oddly shaped things?” Fluttershy pointed to what looked like red angular funnels framed by black tentacles clutching at the sky.
“Those are killer beehives,” Thundereye replied. “They don’t make their own honey; it’s a different type of bee. Well, an adaptation, technically, but the same species. They’re purely a fighting type of bee, their food production is awful.”
“Now we’re talkin’. How much of a fight do they put up?” Pharynx asked.
“They can sting multiple times, and they don’t discriminate between foes, either: they’ll come out and attack you if you get close enough to their nest, doesn’t matter what for.”
“I’ll take ten!” Pharynx exclaimed.
Thundereye stopped dead in his tracks. “Are you sure?”
“Why not? We can pack them up, teleport them, plant them around the border, it’s perfect. We could even get some honey out of the harmless ones. Defensive and delicious.” He licked his lips in anticipation.
“But they’ll attack anyone, friend or foe,” Fluttershy said. “What if you get visitors? Or what if something goes wrong in the lands around you, and refugees are trying to cross the desert?”
Pharynx grinned. “Then they’ll have a good reason to try and cross somebody else’s border.”
“You can’t put up beehives to keep out refugees,” she argued. “If they need help, you shouldn’t hurt them even more.”
“Fine, I’ll build a wall, too, if migrant safety trumps security for you, but only if Equestria’s paying for it. Come on, I want some beehives, and I know Thorax will love them, too.”
“What do you plan to feed them?” Thundereye asked. “You said you lived in a desert?”
Pharynx shrugged. “It’s gotten a lot greener since we stopped draining the love out of everything.”
Thundereye’s ears twitched. “With all due respect, you do realise that doesn’t actually change the soil type, right?”
“It doesn’t? I’m not so sure. I mean, we have plenty of flowers.”
“You should consider using indigenous beehives, then. You really don’t want to risk getting in trouble with invasive foreign species,” Fluttershy noted.
The changeling snorted. “You don’t want me risking invasive foreign bee species, yet you want me to care about invasive foreign refugees. Have it your way, we’re not taking the beehives. Not those, at least. But what about the big one?”
“What big one?”
Pharynx raised his nose to sniff the air. “You don’t smell that? There’s a huge hive right this way.”
The ponies exchanged a glance and followed Pharynx across more grassy hills as he tracked the scent.
“You have a strong sense of smell,” Thundereye remarked. “Natural or magical?”
“Changeling secrets. Need to know basis, military advantage.”
Once again, to Pharynx’s chagrin, Fluttershy gave him a nudge and put on her bunny-talking voice. “Pharynx, what did King Thorax say about keeping secrets?”
“Ugh, fine. It’s in between, really. We don’t change shape to do it, we have the organs set for it. We usually don’t use them to full capacity.”
“Ah, avoiding sensory overload.”
“Yeah, plus, it doesn’t take ponies long to figure out your nose is as strong as a moth’s. You kind of stick out like that. Besides, you ponies stink, especially when we’re feeding. The cold sweat of fear, blegh, it’s like vinegar.” Pharynx gagged. “Though pony panic does go nice with some rocket salad.”
Thundereye looked to Fluttershy then. “What was that about moths?”
“Moths have a very strong sense of smell, one of the strongest in the animal kingdom,” Fluttershy explained. “Mates can find each other from miles away based on their scent.”
Pharynx chuckled evilly. “Made hide and seek at the Hive kind of boring. Then again, it was pretty funny to watch Thorax hit solid rocks for three hours straight trying to pinpoint our location. Weird how he never thought to check the mushrooms.”
Eventually, only partially occluded by the sparse trees and hills around, they came to a clearing that held the biggest beehive any of them had ever seen. It was at least as tall as the three of them together, if they stood on their hind hooves, and without Pharynx cheating and turning into a giraffe, too.
Thundereye whistled. “Wow, that… that is big. Plenty of flowers about, but no dark petals. Still, there must be quite a mass of honey in there.”
“Think we can harvest some?” Pharynx asked.
“You read my mind. I’m not seeing any killer bees, so these should be friendly enough. Wouldn’t hurt to try and get a little sample for research purposes.” Thundereye dug into his right saddlebag and fetched a glass jar for Pharynx to take. “Big hive like this, it’s bound to be absorbing some ambient magic.”
Pharynx trotted closer, looked left and right for any signs of danger and, finding none, stuck a paw into the entrance hole of the hive. Right when he was about to dig in deeper, the hive lifted off.
That is to say, it sprouted wings out of the topside, lifted off enough to show that it was, in fact, less of an egg shape and more of a skirt, then dragged out of the top by the wings there came what appeared to be an insectoid creature. It had the vague facial features of a wasp, a neck covered in what could only be described as a mane of bee fuzz, yet it had the characteristic narrow waist of a wasp, and two of its mantis sickle-like appendages hung freely like arms would. Where its other four legs were, no one could see.
It also had horns instead of antennae, and by some trick of the light its eyes appeared to be completely white.
In the field of cryptozoology, that sort of thing was typically considered not a good sign.
Pharynx slowly backed away from the mammoth buzzing creature.
As the three took in the form of the monster, looking up at her, their eyes dwelled on the bottom of her skirt, specifically the gigantic stinger it had been hiding. That thing alone was big enough to skewer any of them, never mind how much venom might be pumping through it. As if that wasn’t bad enough, a viscous fluid dripped from the top of the beehive skirt, making a sticky mess on the ground.
“Err… Fluttershy? You’re the animal expert, is it normal for bee queens to have backsides made of beehive?” Pharynx asked once he’d backed up enough.
“No, no, it’s not. I’ve never seen anything like this. I’ve never even heard of anything like this. Thundereye?”
He gulped. “I’ve seen this with spiders, sure, but never with bees. Spider Queens are fairly straightforward to fight. This? This thing flies, and it’s got a stinger, and if the dripping is any indication, it can leak syrup to slow down its opponents. I’m starting to see why the Royal Guards don’t like exploring. Prince Pharynx, are we fighting this thing or running?”
“Let me see what it does first.”
The Queen screeched and popped out some bees through her hive-like backside. Whether she was spawning them, conjuring them, or deploying forces from inside her body, it was hard to tell. Much like her, the things were oversized, and fuzzy. Any one of the dozen or so bumblebees that started to buzz around were as big as a pony’s hoof.
Pharynx stared in awe at the things. “It’s a monster that spawns more monsters! Why didn’t I ever think of that?”
Thundereye rolled his eyes. “The wonders of the female perspective, I suppose. Fighting or fleeing, Pharynx? Do you want to take this thing home or not?”
Regardless of his answer, all three were backing up. “Can we?”
“I have some frost arrows, those’ll lay her low, I’m pretty sure.”
“But the pollination!” Fluttershy objected. “She could be a vital part of the environment!”
Pharynx grumbled in agreement. “Yeah, no, we can’t take this thing. Even if it wasn’t important for this place, it’s too risky. You never know what else might tag along on something as bug-like as we are.” He shuddered. “Mites are no joke, and magic mites are the worst.”
“So we are fleeing?” Thundereye asked again.
“Tactical retreat. Changeling military move, very rare, very effective.”
They panted, out of breath but thankfully not stung.
“I think we’re clear. That frost arrow I shot at it should slow it down enough. Without causing permanent harm, Miss Fluttershy.”
“Thank you, Thundereye.” Fluttershy smiled, before sighing and adjusting her helmet again. “I’m really sorry, Pharynx. I know you wanted to take that thing home to protect your Hive, but-”
“It’s nothing,” Pharynx interrupted. “That thing would have been useless anyway. We’ll find something else.” His jaw clenched, and he rubbed his shoulder again to dull a pain that had shot up out of nowhere. “Soon, too, I hope.” He looked up. “Before it starts raining.”
“Really? I don’t see any rainclouds,” Fluttershy said.
“Trust me, I know when a storm’s about to hit.”
Fluttershy winced at his tone. He was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. She let Pharynx get ahead so he wouldn't hear her whisper to the beastmaster. “Umm, Thundereye? Do you know anything particular about changelings?”
“No, Miss Fluttershy, only animals, but it doesn’t take a changeling expert to see Prince Pharynx isn’t telling us everything.”
She whimpered ever so softly under her breath. “What do you suppose it is? Something wrong with his shoulder?”
“Not my place to question, Miss. He’s your friend, you should ask him.”
“I only met him today. I know him as well as you do, and Thorax didn’t say anything about it. But you know this place. What could have happened here? He’s obviously upset about it.”
Thundereye took off his bandana to scratch his head. “That queen thing back there, it resembles Pharynx’s wasp form, no? At least in the head?” He gestured to his face.
“A little. But Pharynx said he didn’t remember where he got it. And he didn’t come up with it, either. Do you think we’ll run into it here? Maybe that’s the creature he wants guarding the Hive? Or maybe that’s what hurt his shoulder?”
“I have a feeling we’ll find out either way, on both counts.”
“Are you two coming or are you going to talk about me all day?”
“Sorry, Prince Pharynx,” Thundereye said, putting the bandana back on. “I am merely curious.”
The changeling groaned. “What is it now?”
“Your mission. And your final goal. We’re only wandering around here, we could try tracking if we knew what it was you are looking for.”
“You know what I’m looking for.” He turned to glare at them. “A guard animal, something to protect the border. Something to keep us safe.”
“Something to keep your home safe, you mean, to supplement your patrolling.”
Pharynx’s wings buzzed with agitation. “Yes.”
“Do you think you’re not doing a good enough job on your own?” Fluttershy asked.
Pharynx rolled his eyes and turned his back on them, marching on. “Listen, neither of you know me, neither of you understand me, neither of you knows anything about changelings, this doesn’t concern you. I do not crack under pressure, I’ve withstood interrogation before, so stop asking. If you don’t like it, complain to my brother when we’re done.”
Fluttershy whimpered and pouted, but she decided not to bring up Thorax again.
“Understood,” Thundereye replied. “Though, in the interest of fairness, I do understand some of your plight, at least. A pony taking their means of defence into their own hooves is frowned upon in our society. Not all of us are comfortable with how much weakness has become a virtue. I’m sure you can appreciate such a sentiment, having been on both ends of an attack once.”
Pharynx took a step on rocky ground, blocking out the conversation. “We’ve hit another biome.”
“Rocky one, at that.” Thundereye tapped the soft grassy soil behind him, then the hard ground before him.
“What’s that over there?” Fluttershy asked, pointing to the top of a mound about thirty paces away. The top of it looked white, almost, and glistening.
Pharynx flew over to the spot, and found the ground was covered in a cotton candy-like texture. He took hold of a strand of the stuff, and right on cue hisses and growls filled the air. “Spider silk. Why don’t we go get you your payment, eh, Thundereye?”
“Sounds like a delightful romp to me,” he replied, taking out some extra padding and a large stick, before shedding his packs for mobility’s sake.
“Please don’t kill any animals?” Fluttershy pleaded.
“Oh, relax, we’ll just stun them. I need to get some exercise,” Pharynx said.
He transformed into his Screecher Wasp form again, and dashed towards the enemy.
Coming over the hills was a small herd of what Fluttershy presumed were Spider Queens, as impossible as such a thing was in nature.
Each of them had a dark, fuzzy face with eight eyes and a mouth that looked more like a vertical gap than anything else, lined with teeth. They moved on six legs, rather than eight, but Fluttershy assumed the last pair of legs was wrapped in the webbings that covered most of their lower bodies. The legs themselves were thin, spindly things, that ended in needle-like points.
Why Thundereye was less concerned about these things than about the Bee Queen, she had no idea.
“Don’t hurt them!” Fluttershy called out. “They’re innocent creatures!”
“Begging your pardon,” Thundereye replied as he got into a duel with one, smacking it on the head while dodging its admittedly clumsy swings, “but they’re not. They’re extremely territorial, they have no sense of compassion, they are dangerous animals.”
The stallion quickly amended his thoughts on the matter when the one he was fighting got picked up and suplexed by Pharynx’s Screecher Wasp form. When it recovered, Pharynx hissed and started beating the thing’s paws back whenever it tried to attack, not bothering to fly up. His own dagger-like paws didn’t get stuck on the webs, and even when a swarm of smaller spiderlings tried to growl him away, he didn’t back down.
He let out a roar, and the Spider Queens ganged up on him, quickly circling around him and tossing their webs to try and wrap him in their web so they could strike without repercussion.
It might have worked, had they realised their prey could change his size at will.
With a quick blink of his magic and a cocky grin, Pharynx burst out of the sheets of web and hit the biggest queen with a shoulder to the gut.
Fluttershy winced, but made a mental note that at least he hadn’t gone horn first. That would have been messy.
Then he flew up, took his wasp form again, and dive-bombed the Queens, ramming into them with full abandon. One by one, they lost little flecks of web, screeched in outrage, and dragged their wretched selves off.
“Should we stop him?” Fluttershy asked, trotting over to join her companions, Thundereye’s packs in hoof.
“I think he’s bleeding off some aggressive energy, Miss Fluttershy.” Thundereye smiled in approval at the sheets the Queens tried to catch Pharynx in. “Best if you let him, unless you’d rather he take it out on us. Besides, like I told you, those things are not so innocent.”
He gave her a mass of web, one that felt more solid than the others. Wiping away some of it, she saw what was inside. “Oh. Oh, dear...”
“That’s not digested, by the way, notice there aren’t any holes? No tell-tale signs of acid or enzymatic action? It starved, or choked, more likely. It’s not a winter stock or an egg storage, either, not when it’s mummified like that. These things don’t hunt to feed; they live to kill. That’s why you don’t wait for them to draw first blood.”
Pharynx roared in triumph as he swooped down to grab the last queen, before flying back up and flinging it away.
When he was done, the only monster left standing was the Screecher Wasp. Eight Spider Queens had challenged him, eight had fallen to his superior might.
At least he could take on that kind of Queen easily enough.
“I must say, that wasp form is very powerful,” Thundereye noted, picking up more patches of silk. “You’re sure you don’t remember where you got it?”
Pharynx shifted back and sighed. “I’m sure.”
Fluttershy, seeing their guide’s bag was stuffed to the brim, packed some silk into her bag. “But I thought you said changelings need to see a creature in front of them to copy it?”
“We do.”
“Then, umm, how would you not remember seeing a creature like that?”
“It’s not important, okay?! What’s important is we secure the border before the next disaster happens!”
She whimpered and took a step back. “Oh, okay. I’m… I’m sorry.”
The three moved along, to be away from the sounds of groaning spiders and their queens.
Thundereye kept a close eye on Fluttershy, particularly at how upset she was looking. “Begging your pardon, Prince Pharynx, but are we to assume this is a personal matter and not a practical one, as you first said it was? I only ask because if it is personal, that will be affecting our judgement in what animals we take home, you understand.”
Pharynx grunted. “Yes, I understand. Your judgement is not in question. Mine is.”
Fluttershy took notice of Pharynx’s response to the more practical-minded Thundereye. Perhaps if she tried something similar, the changeling might open up. “It’s okay to talk about it if it’s bothering you, you know. You are a changeling prince, after all, we wouldn’t want there to be any bad blood between our two kingdoms.”
Pharynx stopped and held a hoof to the base of his horn. “Oh, for the love of… we captured you. We took your Princesses, their friends, that hideous alicorn baby with proportions that make us look natural, and then we took their pet dragon, too. If you don’t have any bad blood about that, what are we supposed to be angry about? We had you, not the other way around. And I am not a changeling prince; I’m Thorax’s brother, that’s all. Thorax isn’t a real King, either; we only call him that because everyone expects us to and it makes him feel better.”
Thundereye and Fluttershy exchanged a glance, again in that particular pony way that drove Pharynx nuts. It was bad enough everyone thought changelings had a hive mind, but to see ponies acting like they had one of their own when no one called them out on it, that was downright unfair.
Fluttershy was the first to speak up. “I know you had us. I was one of the ponies you captured, actually.”
He flinched. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know that.”
They marched on, hitting another dense forest biome, this time one mostly consisting of evergreens: pine and spruce, or whatever passed for pines and spruce in this strange place.
“It’s nearly noon. We should eat.” Thundereye unpacked their meals, and they ate together, in silence, a hundred or so paces before the forbidding forest.
Eventually, Pharynx spoke up. “I was head of patrols. That's why I didn't know. I never keep track of prisoners, I only deal with intruders. I didn’t know the Elements of Harmony were that close to the royals.”
“But, umm, we were in Canterlot when you first attacked. Didn’t that tell you anything?”
“Things are different for changelings. They were different, I mean. I always figured you were only there for extra firepower. That’s how Chrysalis treated me.”
She winced. “Are you extra firepower, then? Is that all you are?”
He shook his head. “It’s a long story, and not important. What’s important is I was supposed to secure the border. But we were stretched thin, making our move on Equestria, so I had to cover a bigger area than usual. Then Thorax snuck back in.”
“With Starlight and Trixie and Discord,” Fluttershy added.
Pharynx’s ears twitched. So those two who had nearly gotten him kicked out were also responsible for the whole ‘accepting friendship’ debacle. Of course they were. “Yes. And they overthrew Chrysalis and destroyed her throne. One little incursion, that’s all it took for our Hive to change from a mighty swarm to a bunch of pushovers who do drama, arts and crafts, and who have these sappy little forums to talk about feelings.”
She gasped. “But surely you’re happier with Chrysalis gone?”
“Of course I’m happier. Don’t I look happy to you?!” he snapped. “Chrysalis didn’t care about us, about the Hive. But what good is being happy when you’re weak? Even our toughest, most ruthless warriors took to the change, without thinking twice about the consequences. We’ve never had our own emotions like this, most of us don’t know what to do with them. Changelings weren’t built for this kind of life, so all they do now is follow like sheep, same as before, except this time it’s sheep following other sheep! Little changelings are being born now who don’t have a clue about how things used to be, how they’re supposed to act, what they’re supposed to be, and the older ones can’t teach them. We don’t know how to farm, our culture's a joke, we don’t even use our own money, and now all of a sudden we have to figure out all that on our own. An entire generation, flying blind.”
Fluttershy winced. “You could ask for help. Ponies have lived like this for centuries.”
“And look what that got you,” he argued. “You ponies can’t go a week without something threatening your entire nation. Even if we somehow manage to adjust to all this and live like you do, we don’t feed off love anymore. We don’t have cutie marks, or unicorn magic, or pegasus weather control. Changing shape is nice, sure, but it’s not gonna save us, not in the long run. Our biggest source of power, our main strategic advantage, the thing we used to take down Celestia herself, twice, is gone. We’re in the same mess you are now, we’re completely disarmed, and it’s all because I let Thorax back in. I failed.” He let his head hang in shame. “And the worst part is, I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not. If this is right, then I had to fail for it to happen. And if it’s not, then my failure doomed us all. I either doomed everyone by failing, or I was meant to fail from the start and I never saw it.”
Thundereye nodded. “It’s certainly not an enviable position. Had you succeeded in your task, we wouldn’t be sitting here. Chrysalis would have gone unopposed through Equestria, replacing the Princesses and the bearers of the Elements. Who knows what else would have popped out of the woodwork with them gone.”
“I’m not saying this to get your sympathy. I just want you to realise how important this is. I failed once, and everything the Hive was, our way of life, our history, our future, was jeopardised. We barely survived all the changes. Next time we might not be so lucky.”
“Agreed. And if I may, I’m glad to hear at least someone in your Hive has some common sense. It’s been sorely lacking in ponies, let me tell you.”
“Excuse me?” Fluttershy said.
“Come now, surely you’ve noticed? The Royal Guard are a laughing stock across the border. The poor guys are stuck indoors all day, or relegated to ceremonial duty. They’re but a shadow of their former glory.” Thundereye’s voice took on a different aspect then, his usual salespony act dropped. It sounded healthier, too, giving him a deeper, more powerful sound that fit his young age better.
Fluttershy wondered just how much of an act this pony played, and how often he played it. He couldn’t be that much older than her, not really. He only sounded that way. “No, they’re not. They’re still strong, and they protect Equestria. Shining Armour risked his life to protect Canterlot and the Crystal Empire, more than once. I’ve seen how powerful he is.”
Thundereye scowled. “Oh, him? Well, him perhaps, yes. But you do not know how strong he ought to be, Miss Fluttershy, or how strong his predecessors were. My grandfather told tales of the mighty Royal Guard, of the Canterlot Academy where a colt could enter on unsteady legs, be welcomed by legends, and be forged into an unstoppable force worthy of the armour. Unicorns were expected to know at least two of the Big Five spells at graduation, while the pegasus final exam required single-wingedly conjuring up the Aunty Em Special. That’s a Category 4 twister, in case you’re wondering, they had a farmhouse set up for it and everything. And the Earth ponies?” He shook his head, sighing sadly. “Oh, what a force they must have been. There was a time when Earth pony Royal Guards could send terror into the hearts of an enemy with one cry.” He held up a hoof to illustrate. “One cry, more terrifying than any spell cast, more horrifying than any command of a flight of pegasi.”
“Release the hounds,” Pharynx said. “I heard that story from Chrysalis herself.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Discord maybe mentioned that, too, once.”
“My point exactly. Now what does it take to be a Royal Guard? No one even knows what the Big Five are, never mind being able to cast them. All you have to do now is complete some physical training, put on armour, stand around when bad things happen and hope the Princesses fix everything. It’s royals protecting the Royal Guard now. The world’s gone backwards, if you ask me.”
“It’s true. Ponies used to be frightening,” said the changeling. “So frightening, we left you alone long enough for you to almost forget about us. I don’t know what happened to you, but it’s happening to us now, and I’m not letting it, not if I can help it.”
Thundereye sighed wistfully. “I hope you succeed. Truly, I do. Perhaps we ponies shall find our strength again, too. Soon, I should hope, before the next big crisis.”
“And that wasp form?” Fluttershy asked. “Is that your strength, then?”
“That’s not important to you.” He hissed in pain, rubbing that shoulder again.
“You’ve been hurting there all day,” Thundereye said. “You should get that looked at.”
“There’s nothing to look at,” Pharynx replied. “It’s fine, it only hurts when there’s a storm coming.”
Fluttershy wanted to say something, but a noise caught her ears and made them flick. “Does anyone else hear that?”
“And feel that?” Thundereye placed an ear on the ground.
“Sounds like footsteps,” Pharynx replied.
The stallion rose up and looked around. Thick cover of forest in front of them, no way to see anything approaching, they weren’t in the best position for stealth, but at least they weren’t going to get ambushed. “I think we’ve gone far enough towards the river now. This is the region where giants reign. Best not try to fly, at least until we know what’s coming. You wouldn’t want to draw any unwanted attention.”
Thump... thump…
The ground quaked, to a beat that reminded the ponies of an animal jumping.
"What is that?" Fluttershy gulped. "I hope it's friendly."
"Something big," Pharynx replied, grinning. "I hope it's not."
They heard the jabbing pitter-patter of claws on ground, and high-pitched growls in the distance moving away. Every Spider Queen in the area that hadn’t gotten their head handed to them was clearing out, and the battered ones were trying to catch up.
“That’s odd,” Thundereye said. “They didn’t think to flee from you, what would those things be afraid of?”
Closer and closer the thumping came. Ancient treetops swayed as the titan approached.
The beast hopped out from beyond the treeline, landing on webbed feet. It cast its gaze upon the intruders with disdain written plainly upon its snout. It shook its body, dropping some feathers in the process. Then it honked and waved its antlers back and forth in a menacing fashion. That is, menacing to the ponies. Pharynx would have described it as 'promising.'
Thundereye grimaced. "Whatever it is, it's definitely Caneighdian."
Pharynx had seen a few Caneighdian things before in his time, and he was inclined to agree. From the bottom up, one might have mistaken the thing for an enormous goose, easily the size of that Bee Queen, and then some. It even had the brown and black pattern that made Caneighdian geese so easy to recognise from afar. But in the head area, something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. Its snout was distinctly moose-like, and so were its antlers, its ears, right down to the eyes that looked like one was permanently fixed on the ground and the other was always checking the skies.
None of them wanted to say it, but with its eyes unfocused as they were, it looked like quite a derpy monster. Fluttershy idly wondered if her mailmare had ever flown into one of these things. Given Derpy’s yearly escapades during Winter Wrap-Up, it wouldn’t have surprised her one bit. “Do you think it’s happy to see us?”
Pharynx flew up and glanced across the landscape. “I’m gonna take a guess and say we just mopped up the things this thing was planning to mop up.”
“That’s nice,” Fluttershy said. “Maybe it’s thankful we cleared out its territory.”
The thing honked again, and promptly began a charge towards the three.
“Or it’s upset that we’re still in it,” Thundereye said.
Fluttershy flew up to eye height of the thing and cleared her throat. Thankfully, it stopped dead in its tracks. “Ahem. Hello, Mister, umm, Goose… Moose? Moosegoose?”
“I’d say that’s a Moosegoose, yes,” Thundereye said.
“Okay. Hi, Mister Moosegoose. My name is Fluttershy and these are my friends. We don’t mean you any harm, we just want to pass through and-”
HONK!
The impact sent Fluttershy careening towards the ground. Pharynx intercepted her before she could hit anything. She’d probably have complained about hurting innocent trees.
“Is this how you usually talk to animals?”
Fluttershy shook her head as Pharynx gently set her down. Her helmet had gotten loose, and her head rattled, but no more than usual. “Yes. But most animals don’t act this touchy. And that honk was strange.”
The Moosegoose fluffed up its feathers and flapped its wings, chest proudly jutted forward, curling its nose at the tiny creatures, to assert dominance.
Despite his lower position, Pharynx fluttered his wings and thrust out his chest right back at the thing; asserting dominance was his job, and he wasn’t about to get outdone by a Caneighdian.
“How about we try a simple snare and some bait first?” Thundereye reached into his backpack and got out a rope.
HONK!
The stallion felt the impact of the sound blow him back, even at that distance. “Where’s my rope?”
Pharynx grinned as he approached the Moosegoose. “Huh. That thing’s got a disarming sonic blast. I wonder if you could train it to interrupt a spell? You have my attention, big guy. What else can you do?”
The giant jumped, and would have squashed the uppity changeling if he hadn’t rolled out of the way.
“Cocky bird deer thing, aren’t you? Okay, let’s see how you deal with this!”
With a burst of green flame, Pharynx went back into his Screecher Wasp form. He roared and flew right up to the things face, stinger at the ready, no doubt terrifying it with his mere presence.
Rather than terrified, though, if the Moosegoose had been annoyed at first, it was positively peeved to see this new creature. Its nostrils flared, its eyes went red, it reared up its head on that long, slender neck, and let rip.
It didn’t take Pharynx much effort to dodge the headbutt, but he got the message well enough: there was a lot of muscle in that neck, and lesser creatures did not want to get in the way of it.
The Moosegoose hopped and stomped as Pharynx tried to circle around it to hit it from behind, but its slender neck was flexible enough for it to keep its eyes on him and stay on guard. Eventually the thing let out another stunning HONK!
Pharynx stayed still for a split second. That’s all the Moosegoose needed. It batted its antlers into the giant wasp’s body and catapulted it straight into the next biome. Then it bawrked, and its floppy moose ears flicked to some noise in the distance. It hopped off into the dense forest without any further fanfare, clearly to attend to more urgent matters.
“Pharynx?!” Fluttershy called out.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I landed on my back, it’s okay.” He came buzzing back to them, in his normal form. “Wow, that thing packs a wallop.” He cricked his neck and wriggled his body to get the stiffness out. “What do you think, Thundereye?”
Thundereye had collected his rope, and was now fiddling with his things to find a better weapon. “Well, geese are protective creatures by nature. Ponies don’t use them as guard animals much nowadays, though.”
“I’ll take that as a plus.”
“It’s clearly intelligent, at least as smart as a moose. It gave us enough warning, too,” Fluttershy said. “I think it recognised that wasp form. It wouldn’t have attacked the way it did if you hadn’t changed into that.”
“But what is it?” Pharynx asked. “Have you ever seen anything like it?”
“Sort of. I’ve seen ducks with antlers before. They’re pretty cute, and the deer part stops them from migrating too far. It’s not an unusual shape; it’s documented, a little less popular than jackalopes at the county fairs, but still documented, at least in design. I’ve never heard of a composite that big, though, not even the Caneighdians mentioned it,” Thundereye said. “It’s not magical, either, at least not in substance. Probably had magic in its creation, though. The guy who made the first Vizzerdrix was Caneighdian, chances are he had a few copycats.”
“What do you think, Pharynx? Should we follow it?” Fluttershy asked.
A wooshing sound came from where the Moosegoose was headed, followed by distant honking, then a rumbling thunder.
The changeling’s gaze hardened. He hissed and rubbed at his shoulder. “Yeah, we’re following it. Even if we don’t take that thing, I still have a score to settle.”
When they got to the site, the first thing they noticed was the sheer number of Moosegoose around. The one they’d seen had left a trail leading towards a mountain, and upon closer inspection they found that the giant creatures used the bottom of the mountain as their nesting grounds. Dozens of them, perhaps a hundred, all honking and flapping their wings to scare away intruders.
That was the second thing the three noticed: the intruder.
The thing attacking the Moosegoose was, much like the Moosegoose themselves, massive in size. Though it made Fluttershy wince to think about it, she could only describe it as ‘a tornado with tornadoes for arms and a ghostly shadow inside of it, one with mean-looking eyes.’ Once she realised what she was looking at, she gasped. “A storm elemental? Here? I thought they were just a faerie tale.”
“No, they’re real. And that’s not just any storm elemental,” Thundereye replied. “That’s the sailor’s bane.”
“That’s the thing I ran into last time I was here.” Pharynx winced and rubbed his shoulder again. “It got me good then. I learned. And it doesn’t have an ocean to toss me in this time.”
Fluttershy stepped in front of him before he could take off. “Pharynx, I can’t let you hurt another animal. I know it must have hurt your pride, or, umm, hurt you, but you can’t take out your anger on a creature that doesn’t know any better. Please? This isn’t right.”
Pharynx looked the mare right in the eyes. “I know. That’s not what you ponies do. But how do you suggest we deal with that?”
The last thing they noticed was the Moosegoose fighting and failing against the storm elemental. It slapped the titans around with its tornado arms like it was swatting flies, if it wasn’t raising those arms to shoot lightning at them.
Fluttershy smiled nervously. “W-well… I suppose we should see where we can help. Thundereye, what do you think?”
“I think if we get in between that kind of confrontation, if we’re not careful, we’re dead in seconds. I say we wait for an opportune time to act, if we act at all. It’s your call, Pharynx. The storm is clearly a powerful foe. It would make a mighty defensive addition to your home. I’m sure the sailors would be glad to see it gone, too.”
Pharynx glared at the storm. “We wait a little more. I want to see how this plays out. But that thing goes down today, one way or another.”
Fluttershy shivered. The way Pharynx stared ahead so intently, so focused, clearly this was upsetting him and he didn’t want to show it.
“Does it still hurt?” Fluttershy asked. “Your shoulder, I mean.”
The changeling turned, swallowed the harsh remark he was going to make about ponies getting too personal, and said, “Phantom pain, it’s all in my head. You’d have to be a shapeshifter to understand.”
The storm creature knocked two more Moosegoose about, lifting the giants up like ragdolls and chucking them against the mountainside. The others nesting there honked for all their worth, to no avail. None dared abandon their nests.
The storm moved closer, towards a now defenceless nest. Flying up to get the vantage point, Fluttershy gasped. “Oh, no, it’s going after the little-”
She held her hooves up to her mouth when she saw what the little ones were doing. The Moosegoose young were pony-sized, yellow, and covered in fluffy down. Not only that, but they were every bit as feisty as the adults. Six of them charged headlong past their fallen parents and straight towards the storm creature, their down sparking with a mix of magic and static.
The storm didn’t care. It spread its arms and cranked up its wind power to suck them in.
Realising their mistake, the little chicks tried to backpedal, even flapping their wings to try and escape, but they were done for. Whatever this elemental wanted them for, it would have them.
Fluttershy heard a buzz, she saw a blur, and next thing she knew another mammoth Moosegoose had joined the fray, catching the little chicks in its wings. Even the larger creature couldn’t stand up to the suction of the winds, though, and it had to toss its new charges to safety, using its own body as a shield from the gale.
Fluttershy snapped out of her reverie and quickly dashed about to try and catch the things, setting them down gently.
They were too heavy, too many. When she set down the third one, the others were hurtling towards a rough landing. “No, no...”
She needn’t have worried. Thundereye had enough speed and power in him to catch the final three, piling them up in his arms without a problem. “Got’em!”
Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. She flew towards the Moosegoose that had saved the little ones as it changed back into its true form and faced the raging winds. “Pharynx?”
He kept his eyes on the shadow. “Are the little ones safe?”
“Looks like it.”
The storm creature lowered its arms. The shadow in the centre glared at them both.
“Go, Fluttershy,” Pharynx said. “This is between me and him.”
“I could try talking to it.”
“No. No talking. We’re doing this as Nature intended.”
“But Pharynx-”
“You wouldn’t get in between two bulls fighting over their turf. You wouldn’t get in between two dragons fighting.”
“But you’re not a dragon.”
“Not if I don’t need to be. But I just might.”
Reluctantly, she nodded. “Okay, if you’re sure that’s how you want to do this.”
“I’m sure.”
When she got back to Thundereye, the stallion had herded the little ducklings, or mooslings, or moslings, judging from the texture of their down, back to their nest. “What do you think he’s doing? He’s not turning into the wasp again. Is he trying to keep the Moosegoose from attacking?”
Thundereye shook his head, examining some of the feathers that made up the nest. “I don’t think they’d attack him either way. Listen, they’re not honking anymore, at either of the two. They’re staying out of this fight. What do you make of this arrangement here?”
Fluttershy sniffed the feathers Thundereye was holding. “These feathers smell like a rainstorm.”
“It might be static down. Also quite valuable.” He quickly pocketed a hoofful.
“It’s a shame none of the other Moosegoose are defending their kind.”
“A pity, but not unusual. I’ve seen this before. It’s like penguins: the higher the ground, the more protected from predators, the higher the rank. See? There are more couples that are banged up over there. It’s only the ones on the same level that’ll band together.”
Sure enough, some of the Moosegoose still on their nests had black eyes and burn marks on their feathers. “So why is that thing attacking them?”
“Culling the population, perhaps it can’t take the noise of the honking. Or it could be the young.” He picked up more of the fluff, which was already sparking and making his hairs stand on end. “If this stuff is as potent as I think it is, it’s possible the creature is drawn to the nests, hoping to absorb the concentrated magic of the young for its own use. The higher-ranking ones are safe, and in adults, the substance is far too diluted to be useful, but down here, with these little things?”
Fluttershy shivered. “Down here they’re easy prey. I hope Pharynx knows what he’s doing.”
Pharynx stood before the storm. The shadow inside growled, eliciting a grin from the changeling. “You remember me now, don’t you? Looked a little different then. Bigger, scarier.” He turned into the Screecher Wasp again, to cries of outrage from the Moosegoose. Brief cries, though, oddly so to Pharynx’s ears.
Those things really were intelligent. They were smart enough to know he wasn’t an enemy right now. Still, he had to focus on more urgent matters.
When he shifted back, the shadow in the storm roared.
“I know what you are this time. I know your name. You’re not gonna beat me that easily, not again.”
Whether it understood him or not, he didn’t care. It raised one of its massive arms for a slam on the ground, but Pharynx was gone before it landed.
“You missed,” he taunted. “Come on, what’s keeping you? Don’t tell me you’re scared of little old me?”
The shadow in the storm quivered, and the air filled with the sound of crackling thunder.
“Oh, no, no, no, Pharynx, do you need help?!” Thundereye called out. “I have some anti-shock gear!”
“Don’t need it! I’ve fought this thing before, Thundereye!” He snickered. “I know how to handle this little brat now.”
The lightning rained down on him, but none of the bolts connected. He bobbed and weaved and rolled past the magic, going straight up to get the right angle of attack.
He shot a green bolt out of his horn, straight at the shadow. All at once, the lightning stopped, and the storm had to guard itself with both arms up.
Pharynx chuckled once he was high enough. “You are afraid of me, aren’t you? Good. You should be.”
It swiped at him again. This time Pharynx dodged up. He got above the thing, then made a beeline straight down.
He went into the storm, to take it out at the source.
The ponies and Moosegoose winced at the sounds of blows landing, of slaps on skin, of kicks to soft and squishy areas, all carried and amplified by the elemental’s magic. The storm’s body shook and swayed as it copied the motions of the battered shadow inside.
Eventually, the storm died down, and silence descended on the Moosegoose nesting ground.
Pharynx stood before the storm’s master, looking down on the thing, as he was entitled to. He nodded to his companions to join him, which they did, slowly, in case either the storm or the Moosegoose got any second thoughts.
Fluttershy’s brow furrowed when she saw what remained of the monster. “I-is that...”
“The terror that stalks the coastline,” Thundereye replied. “The monster sailors dare not name.”
“Sealnado,” Pharynx said.
How or why exactly, none of them knew, but what remained of the titanic storm elemental was an adorable little baby seal who’d just gotten the stuffing beaten out of it.
Fluttershy stared at it in disbelief.
“Something wrong?” Thundereye asked.
“No, it’s just... I guess I was expecting a shark.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Pharynx prodded the whining thing. “Go on, get out. I’ll spare you today. But if I ever see you again, you’d better be ready to turn tail and run.” He hissed and bared his teeth.
The Sealnado fled at full speed. Which, for a seal on land, was not very fast. Still, seeing that clumsy thing waddle off in terror sent little tinges of joy through Pharynx’s heart. One of them, at least, since he kept his spare one as emotion-free as possible.
“You don’t want to bring it back home?” Thundereye asked. “Look what it did to these things.”
Fluttershy was already tending to the wounded Moosegoose, cooing to the little moslings, putting some ice on the bumps the grownups had suffered, checking for any concussions. Thankfully, they had the skulls of moose, too, so the latter wasn’t much of an issue. She rubbed along some necks, occasionally cracking one to get it working right again.
The giant creatures were much more mild-mannered towards them now. Aside from the occasional quiet honk for attention, they showed no signs of overt animosity towards any of the three.
“I’ll take some Moosegoose instead, if that’s okay,” Pharynx said.
Thundereye hmm-ed. “And is that a practical choice or an emotional one? I mean, they lost.”
Right as their parents returned, the moslings swarmed Pharynx, showering him in fluffy down and static electricity. “Yeah, but I’ll still take them over the Sealnado. The adults are nice, but it’s the young that really did it for me. These little things went straight for the enemy. They saw their parents get hurt, and they attacked. They didn’t whine or hide, they didn’t wait to grow bigger or stronger, they went straight to getting even. I respect that. It’s reckless and stupid, but I respect it. Besides, I want a guard animal, not a champion to fight for me. These things will stick up for each other when they can. And they don’t need to hide behind a charade to do it, unlike the Sealnado.”
“Plus, it seems they are having a population problem.”
“Can we keep them at the Hive, you think?”
“I’m pretty sure these things aren’t picky eaters,” Fluttershy said, checking the teeth on a surprisingly cooperative Moosegoose. “As long as there’s enough plant life to feed on, maybe some moss and lichen.”
Pharynx rolled his eyes. “We have plenty of that, thanks to Thorax and his bright ideas about micro-farming.”
Thundereye nodded. “Then the only question remains: how do we get them where we want them? We can use a trail of bait, or try the snares again. Or we can try a lure. I’m sure I can get something that’ll honk loud enough for them to follow. Or you can turn into one of them again, try to mimic their sounds.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done that kind of thing, but I don’t want to risk accidentally doing a mating call again.” He shuddered. “Dolphins, ugh. Fluttershy, any ideas?”
She shrugged. “Umm, they’re not angry with us. I could just ask.”
The ponies went back through the biomes they’d crossed, an army of Moosegoose with them, a small army in numbers but definitely not in the size of its members. Fluttershy made sure none of the adult Moosegoose became startled, Thundereye had a prod ready to keep any of the little ones from wandering off, and Pharynx led the way in Moosegoose form. In all, they had five couples of breeding age, each with three to five young, along with six more who were almost fully grown but not quite at breeding age yet, according to Fluttershy.
How Fluttershy gauged breeding age in a creature no one even knew existed before today, Pharynx didn’t ask. Frankly, he preferred not to think about it.
At the front, Pharynx marched proudly, having taken the form of a large male for good measure. The others matched his stride, and for the first time since far too long, he felt like he’d accomplished something.
Well within the safe margins of daylight, they reached camp, and Thundereye got busy setting up the telelocator circle to take them home.
Pharynx changed back to his old self. The Moosegoose didn’t react to his change, possibly they’d already accepted him as an equal. All they did was look at each other, give little honks and snorts, as if to keep tabs on everyone. “Thanks for your help, both of you. The changeling Hive is in your debt.”
Cratus shook his head. “Say nothing of it. I have enough silk to make a small fortune, some static down, and I’ve managed to explore more of the area in less than a day than the Royal Guard has dared to do in years. There is no debt to pay.”
“And I’m more than happy to find a new species,” Fluttershy added. “I hope you don’t mind, I’d love to come visit them sometime.”
“That should be fine,” the changeling replied. “And it was a nightmare, by the way.”
“What?”
“The Screecher Wasp, whatever it’s called? You wanted to know where I got it. It was a nightmare. But you probably already knew that, right?”
Fluttershy looked away, as did Thundereye.
“The build is very similar to that of semi-magical predatory wasps, Prince Pharynx,” Thundereye said. “Or parasitic ones. The position of the legs isn’t purely insectoid, and neither is the face, which would make it a horror, not a simple wasp. Still, it has the basic build of some things I have seen before, and do not care to see again. If what you said about it was true, then you must have absorbed its shape during an attack. One that rendered you unconscious, at least, if the memory is so vague.”
“You said changelings can’t come up with their own shapes just like that,” Fluttershy added. “And Thorax may have told Starlight Glimmer a few things. And then she maybe might have asked me about that creature, because she heard how you used to turn into it when, umm...”
Thundereye furrowed his brow in confusion.
“When I was little, yes,” Pharynx added. “Very, very little. That’s why I don’t remember. I don’t know what that thing was. I don’t know where it came from, or how many there are. I know a couple of things, though, obviously, from, ah, from turning into it all the time. It’s a very convenient form, actually, it’s a shame we don't have more changelings who can use it. It’s solitary, it preys on the young and weak. Ruthlessly efficient, very powerful, opportunistic, evasive, sturdy exoskeleton. Its only weakness is the ball joints: hit it hard enough, force it to spread it legs or smack it into the ground at the right angle, and it falls apart. You can rip an arm off just like that.”
Fluttershy flinched. “Right. I can imagine that would hurt.”
“It’s too agile for precision shots, that’s the trick. A wide shot, or a strong gale, that’s the only thing that works. Our former Queen was always impressed by it. It scares changelings, you see, more than anything. We have a natural fear towards it.” He wiped his eyes, for no particular reason. “And I’m the only changeling who can turn into it. Chrysalis never talked about that part, but, you know, it’s easy enough to figure out why that is.”
“That’s why you like these creatures so much.” Thundereye nodded to the Moosegoose. “They appear to be familiar with that species as well, or at least they have a natural animosity towards it. No fear towards it, either. You are a clever changeling, Pharynx.”
Fluttershy’s ears fell back. “So you turn into the thing that gave you nightmares? Into the scariest thing you know? I-isn’t that-”
“Yes,” he replied curtly. “It is unsettling. And it’s necessary. So I do it, end of story.”
Thundereye fiddled with the staff, putting the nightmare fuel back up to full stock. “You should be careful with that sort of thing. Magic has a way of amplifying emotional problems, even in animals. Do you have a means of coping with the fallout? Purely out of interest, of course.”
“Of course. And no, we don’t. Things are different for us changelings. When we have bad dreams, we have to toughen up and hope it doesn’t affect our abilities. But if it gets really bad, you could always steal a stuffed animal for comfort,” Pharynx joked. “Or get lucky and find a changeling willing to share his. That’s how it used to be. Now we get all these feeling forums to try and deal with it, as if that’ll help.”
“It might?” Fluttershy said.
“No, it wouldn’t,” Thundereye replied. “Believe me, I’ve seen it in plenty of creatures with less sense than you. Socialising to speed up recovery of trauma, of that magnitude, it’s like trying to cure Pony Pox by locking you in a room full of healthy ponies. Better to work it out alone, Prince Pharynx. Better to sick it out and not infect anyone. You know, if you’re in the market for less combative creatures, there’s a panda fellow not too far from my place who sells dream eating baku. They’re these cute little fellas with wiggly trunks, they eat nightmares, very child-friendly, easy to potty train. They were quite the rage before Princess Luna returned, even among ponies. Of course, if you prefer something a bit more low-maintenance, a simple stuffed animal can help, as you say.”
Thorax looked back at the Moosegoose, who were now getting impatient. “Yeah, that did help, actually.”
Four weeks had passed since the giant creatures had arrived, and Thorax was listening to feedback on the matter, during yet another feelings forum.
“Well, I feel the Moosegoose are too dangerous to keep near the Hive!” One of the fuchsia changelings said.
Thorax sighed.
“I agree,” a blue one replied. “They’re big, they’re loud, they mess up the plant life.”
“Sorry, Pharynx,” Thorax said to the changeling next to him. Even getting his brother to attend was hard enough. He couldn’t imagine how this must feel. “I know you went through a lot of trouble to get them.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I for one, love the Moosegoose, every single one of them.”
Pharynx’s ears perked. That last remark hadn’t come from Thorax, or any of the changelings in Thorax’s inner circle. That had come from a normal changeling. “Wait, what?”
“They’re beautiful creatures, and their little moslings are just the cutest when their down gets all fluffy and sparky,” another one said, to the nodding approval of three more.
“You’re kidding,” Pharynx said.
“But they stomp on the ground and they destroy our fields!” came a cry.
“Actually, their stomping has helped chase the Maulwurfs away, along with every other mole creature that comes after our crops. We’re getting better harvests already,” Thorax said. “And they are not destroying our fields, either: we’re not keeping them on our fields. They have their own spot, and yes, they do have a tendency to keep it clear of vines and flowers.”
Pharynx smiled. He was liking those things more every day.
“But they’re dangerous! They could hurt someone!”
“That’s kind of the whole point,” Thorax said. “Look, we’re still trying to piece together our defences as much as we can, and Coleopter and Pharynx have gotten our warriors back in shape, but we have to face facts here: we’re weaker now. We need to stay safe from our enemies.”
“What enemies?” said a blue changeling. “Everyone we’ve ever harmed has forgiven us.”
“Actually, they haven’t,” Pharynx retorted. “Their leaders have forgiven us.”
“Same thing,” came the reply.
“Not really. If Thorax told you to shut up about the Moosegoose, you wouldn’t do it either, would you?”
The blue changeling opened his mouth to object again, but quickly thought the better of it. “Oh. Good point.”
Pharynx bit his lip and stood up, taking his turn to speak in the circle. “Look, I know you all are still getting used to the whole new system. You can have these, ugh, feelings forums and your drama and arts and crafts all you want. But what happens when one of the ponies decides we haven’t been punished enough? What happens when someone decides to start trouble in some other kingdom, and pretends it was one of us in disguise? Ponies aren’t supposed to have any enemies, either, and look how that’s turned out for them recently.”
A murmur went through the forum, mostly of reluctant agreement.
“Besides, even if you don’t like them as guard animals, you have to admit the Moosegoose are pretty useful. How many of you have used their feathers in arts and crafts? How many of you are learning to write with their quills?”
A few changelings raised their arms. The changeling literacy program had been slow to start, but at least it was making progress.
He grinned. “And how many of you have used their antlers as catapults?”
Three changelings, each with a ‘Chicks dig scars’ T-shirt, and each with the bruises to show their dedication to that motto, raised their arms. Pharynx wasn’t keen on making ‘changeling catapult’ their national sport, but at least it was more intimidating than drama.
“See?”
“I still don’t like them,” the fuchsia changeling piped up.
“No one’s asking you to like them,” Thorax said. “As long as we can keep them under control and keep them out of trouble, they’re perfect for the Hive, one way or another. If you really don’t like them, fine. They’re only at the borders anyway. We have more than enough room where they won’t bother anyone. And if you do like them, well, you can get as close as you like, get them accustomed to us.”
“That was pretty good for a first-timer,” Thorax said. “I thought you hated the feelings forum?”
“I do. But even if I hate it, it’s still useful,” Pharynx replied.
The two flew across the fields to where the Moosegoose had made their nests. The males were patrolling the ground and the air, as was their habit, while the females walked their young around, looking for food. They were out of the way of the main Hive, they had plenty of roaming area, plenty of nesting material, sufficient greenery to be happy, and Thundereye was still looking into getting some custom armour in case they ever needed it. Fluttershy, meanwhile, had read up on composite species, and she was due to give all of them the once-over next week. Not that any of them looked sick, but better safe than sorry.
Thorax set down at a sufficiently remote spot, his brother right behind him. “I put Mister Fluffykins on your bed again. Under your pillow, I mean, so no one would see.”
“I noticed. Thanks.”
“Try not to bite his head off this time? It’s a little hard to keep explaining it in arts and crafts.”
“No promises.”
Thorax rolled his eyes. “They really are great, you know. You did a good job.”
“I had help.”
“You mean you accepted help.”
“Whatever. Just don’t tell anyone about the stuffed animal thing. That’s on a strict need-to-know basis.”
“Like Fluttershy and Cratus Thundereye?”
Pharynx pouted and let out a curt snort. “That's different. They deserved to know. They work with animals, they go into the wilds sometimes. If they ever run into one of those things, they should know how to deal with it, before it deals with them.”
Thorax nodded. “I get it, and I’ll keep your secret, don’t worry. That one and the one about the Moosegoose.”
“What do you mean?”
Thorax chuckled. “The real reason you got these things? You just wanted an army that could do a goose-step, didn’t you?”
The End
Author's Note
Started as a brainfart, ended up being a good exercise in descriptions. Much needed one, too.
Pharynx is a real hoot to write, and I'd like to see how he plays off of the Mane Six sometime. I'm curious who else picked up on that: he was head of patrols. He was the security guard who was supposed to stop anyone from entering the Hive... including Thorax.
Cratus Thundereye was basically a blank slate based on what we see of him in Trade Ya! but I went for kind of a shopkeeper next door type of guy, calls everyone 'Sir,' or 'Miss,' or 'Master' for the sake of image.
Why the River Limos? Limos was the Greek goddess of starvation, apparently. Seemed like an appropriate name for a Don't Starve crossover.
The political stuff... it's just for fun, no real message behind it.
