“You’re leaving again?” Spike asks, depressed.
“I’m sorry, Spike, but the Princess requires me to look over several things in Canterlot.” Twilight nuzzles him.
“Spike is right,” Anon comes in. “This is the fifth time this week. Not to mention that you’re going to be gone for a few days.”
“I know, I know...” Twilight takes a second to think. “How about this: when I come back, the three of us can do whatever you want.”
“Whatever we want?” Both Spike and Anon ask at the same time.
“Within reason.”
Anon scratches his chin in thought just before he looks over at Spike. “What do you think?”
“It’s a reasonable offer.”
Anon agrees. Twilight is writing a blank check that he fully intends to cash in once she’s home.
“Alright. We accept your offer.”
“Excellent!” Twilight gives Spike an extra nuzzle and Anon a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be home as soon as I can. You two behave. Make sure the library is spotless and organized. I don’t want to come back and find my books burned, or the house in ashes.”
“We’ll be sure to keep all fires to a minimum,” Anon adds.
“Yeah, it’s not like Anon and I will somehow set half of Ponyville on fire. I mean, what are the odds of that happening a second time?” Spike says.
Twilight looks unsure, but Anon is prompted to speak up. “He’s just messing with you, Twi. We’ll behave.”
“Alright...” She lets out a sigh as her horn lights up. “See you later!”
“Love you.” Anon gives a wave.
“Bring back some gems if you can!” Spike adds.
In a flash, Twilight is gone. Leaving Anon and Spike alone in the library. Anon looks over at Spike as Spike faces him.
“So, what do you want to do?” Anon asks.
“I don’t know. Do you have anything in mind?”
“Not really.”
Being alone with Spike is nothing like being alone with Shining Armor. Anon and he are old enough to do lots of things (mostly drinking), but there are a few other things as well, like going to clubs. Spike, however, is a kid, so doing anything too adult with him would land Anon in hot water if Twilight ever found out. Not that he’d ever considered it; Spike is too innocent to get drunk. He’d probably be a fun drunk, but that’s like getting a kid wasted, and that’s wrong.
So Anon must think of something that’s age appropriate for the kid. So with that in mind, the most apparent thing comes to mind.
“Wanna bother Pinkie?”
Spike shrugs. “Sure.”
“What brings you two here today?!” Pinkie asks with a broad smile on her face.
“Just wanted to bother you a bit,” Anon replies as Spike and he take a seat.
“Well, you’re no bother to me, Nonny! So what’s got you two looking so blue?”
“Twilight just left to Canterlot for some princess thing.”
“Again?”
Anon nods. “Yup.”
“How many does that make this week?”
“Fifth time.”
“Golly, that sure is a lot. So you and Spike are alone today?”
“A few days. She needs to stay over at Canterlot temporarily.”
“Well, I can see how that can make anypony feel down.”
Pinkie produces a tray out of nowhere with an assortment of cupcakes on it.
“Thanks, Pinks. You always know how to cheer me up.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here for. So what do you two have planned after this?”
Anon shrugs. “Not too sure. We’re probably just going to see what happens.”
“I love walking around and seeing what happens! Maybe you’ll meet a new pony or perhaps even stumble onto an adventure!”
Anon shakes his head. “No adventures for us. We promised Twilight we’d stay out of trouble.”
“Well, at least you’ll find something to do.” Pinkie looks over at the front door as a few customers come in. “Sorry, Nonny. I need to get back to work. Enjoy!”
Pinkie is off before Anon can say anything else. He looks over to see that Spike has frosting over his face. “You kinda got something on your face.”
“Oh?” Spike extends his tongue out, wraps it around his face and brings the frosting down to his mouth like his tongue is a squeegee.
“Spike, that’s gross.”
He shrugs in reply. Anon finishes his cupcake and puts a few bits on the table to pay for his sweets. Anon and Spike both give Pinkie a wave just before leaving. They’re once again standing outside and trying to think of what to do.
“Is Rarity busy today?” Anon asks Spike.
“I think so, why?”
“I don’t know. Seeing as we have so much free time, I thought you’d like to visit her for a while.”
Realisation spreads over Spike's face. “Huh, why didn't I think of that?” He then looks over at Anon. “What will you do?”
“I’ll most likely hang out with Big Mac. That big ol' lug wanted to practice talking with mares, so I’ll help him as much as I can.”
“Really?” Anon nods. “Would you mind teaching me as well?”
Anon rubs the back of his neck. “Maybe when you’re a little older.”
“But I don’t age fast!”
Anon rolls his eyes as he tosses his bit pouch at Spike. “Add this to your hoard and don’t tell Twilight.”
“Awesome!”
Anon can see a certain glint in Spike’s eye. “I swear if I find you trying to take bits from ponies again, I’m going to make the last spanking I gave you seem like love taps.”
Spikes back straightens up as his eyes widen. “Alright! I swear I won’t do anything!”
“Good, now get that back to your hoard and go spend time with Rarity. If my calculations are correct, then your aging should pick up a bit. I’ll give you eight years before I talk to you about girls.”
“Why so long! Can’t you just give me a few more bits?”
“Spike, I’m putting you at a human’s aging rate, which is ten times faster than what Twilight has you at. I know it’ll take awhile, but you gotta learn some patience. Take that as your first lesson when dealing with mares.”
“Ok,” he says dejectedly.
“Now hurry up before I change my mind.”
Spike immediately runs off before anything else is said. Anon knows he’s going to get some flack from Twilight later when she comes back, but that kid needs to grow up at some point. With nothing else to do, Anon starts heading over to Applejack’s farm. It’s going to be interesting to teach Big Mac about dating.
“Seduce me,” Anon says looking Big Mac in the eyes.
“Um, I don’t li-”
“Seduce me!” Anon shouts.
“Alright, alright.” Big mac takes a deep breath as he meekly walks up to Anon. “Um, hey there. You want to go out sometime?”
The next thing Big Mac knows is that he’s slapped in the face hard as he stumbles a bit while holding his cheek.
“I’m not some little school filly! I’m a mare!” Anon paces around Big Mac. “I like my stallions strong and confident! You want to go out with me? You’ve got to earn it!”
“Anon, you know I don’t do the whole confidence thing.”
Anon lets out a sigh. “Come on, Mac. Nearly every mare here would jump at the chance to date you. You’ve got to be more confident and assertive.”
“Ah don’t want any mare... I want…” His face grows red, which is a feat all to itself. “F-Fluttershy.”
Anon’s eyes widen at hearing that. “Wait, you like Fluttershy?” He nods his head, not looking Anon’s way. “Oh... Well, why didn’t you say so?” Anon rubs his chin in thought. “You know what, forgot what I said earlier. Just ask her out.”
He looks at Anon baffled, still feeling the sting in his cheek. “What about that stuff with being confident and strong?”
“Well, for Fluttershy... I’m sure she’ll be fine with how you are.”
“Come on, Anon.” Big Mac looks to his hooves glumly. “Good-looking girl like her. I’m sure she gets all types of impressive stallions asking her out. How could I ever compete with that?”
Big Mac isn’t wrong. Fluttershy regularly gets asked out every other day, if not every day. She’s typically polite about turning them down, but Anon could see how much it takes a toll on her. However, Anon knows something that Mac doesn’t. He’s seen how she looks at him from afar; she’s interested at the very least.
“Mac, I’m sure if you go up to her, be straight and tell her how you feel, she’ll accept those feelings.”
“Is that what happened between you and the Princess?”
Anon feels a smile break on his face at that memory, a slight chuckle leaving him.
“Funny story. Twilight was the one that asked me out. It was a year or so after I first arrived. She was quivering on her hooves as she told me how she felt. She’s faced down all sorts of monsters and villains and yet asking me out was enough to shake her to the core.” Anon remembers how adorable she looked with that pleading look. “I liked her and was getting ready to go ask her out myself. So it worked out for both of us.”
“Really?” Mac asks with wide eyes. “She asked you?”
“She did. Though I wouldn’t expect that from Fluttershy. While she has become more assertive over the years, she’s still quite shy.”
“Yeah, I guess,” he replies looking glum.
“Seriously, Mac. Just ask her. Otherwise, you’ll sit on the farm for the rest of your life wondering about the if’s in life. Do you want to do that?”
“No,” Mac says looking a bit more confident.
“Good.” Anon pats Big Mac on the withers. “Just be yourself. No need to pretend like you're someone else.”
“Thanks. I’ll try.”
Without warning, Mac slugs Anon in the stomach. Anon hunches over with a wheeze as he grasps his abdomen.
“Alright, I’ll agree, I deserved that,” Anon states as he lets the burning sensation pass.
It stung but it was by no means a powerful punch, considering the pony.
“Well, I got apples to buck. You and Spike are free to stop by anytime.”
Anon gives a nod as the pain ultimately passes. “Thanks. We got the free time. See you later, Mac.” Anon walks over to the barn door but pauses as he looks back at Big Mac. “Remember, be yourself.”
With that left in the air, Anon walks out of the barn. Gazing up at the sky, he jerks in surprise as he notices the sun is starting to set. Really? Did he talk with Big Mac for that long? He needs to get back to the library soon and make sure dinner is ready. Twilight may not be around, but that doesn’t mean Spike and him can’t have a healthy family dinner.
Anon is placing the finishing touches on dinner as he overhears the front door open and close. “That you, Spike?”
“Yup! Just came back from Rarity’s.” He walks into the kitchen and takes his seat. “She was pretty busy with a few orders, but it was fun helping her.”
“Good to hear, bud.”
“So you talked to Big Mac?”
“Sure did. I think he’s in a better place now.”
“Well, I know you said you wouldn’t teach me anything for a few years, but got anything to share?”
Anon plates what he’s made and sets one in front of Spike as he takes his seat across from him. “Forget about it, Spike. I’m telling you, there will be plenty of that stuff for you to worry about in a few years.”
Spike pouts. “I hate being treated like a foal.”
“You are one,” Anon says honestly as he eats his meal. “No one likes it, but we’ve all been through it. So eat your food and be quick about it.”
Spike doesn’t say anything as he starts eating his meal. There’s not much for the two of them to talk about right now, and Twilight is usually the one who’s always talking about one thing or another during their meals.
“I never noticed how quiet it is without Twilight here,” Spike comments.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Right now, she’d probably talk about something the Princess has asked of her or maybe even how a friend of hers did something weird.”
“That does sound like Twilight,” Spike admits. “She’d even talk about any new books that came in that she’s organizing.”
Anon chuckles. “As if we didn’t already know.”
That makes Spike chuckle too, but then his face becomes somber. “Kinda strange not having her around.”
“She’ll be back, and I swear she’s not leaving for a long time. Celestia or not, she’s our family, and she needs to take a break.”
Spike nods. “Yeah! We should write a letter to Celestia right now!”
Anon smiles. “You know what? I think that’s an exceptional idea.”
Anon gets a nearby quill, ink, and parchment, because let’s face it, that stuff’s everywhere.
“Dear, Celestia,” Anon speaks so Spike can listen. “Twilight has been rather busy these past few weeks. She barely has time to herself or for her family. Spike and I are concerned and would request that these duties you have put on her to be lightened a bit. We concede that should a state of emergency happen, then there is no helping your need for her, but the latest assignments have honestly been mundane and could be handled by other ponies. However, Twilight respects you and is quick to come to your call. You know this and I would hope you’d respect the amount of love and admiration she has for you. I do not think you are manipulating her, but perhaps you could take a moment to double check if some of the things you’re calling her for are important enough to take her from her friends and family for an extended amount of time. Thank you for taking the time to read this message. With respect, Anon and Spike.”
Anon looks over at Spike. “How’s that sound?”
Spike nods. “I like it! Want me to send it now?”
Anon hands it over. “Sure. Might as well get it out of the way.”
Spike takes the parchment and sets it ablaze with his fire. Once he’s done, the both of them decide to get back to eating. However, a few minutes later, Spike barfs out a plume of flame, a letter falling onto the table. Anon grabs it as soon as he recognized Celestia’s seal is on it. Well, that was faster than he thought. Then again, SpikeMail is a direct link to her. Anon opens the scroll and looks it over.
“What’s it say?” Spike asks.
“Thank you for sending me your concerns,” Anon speaks out. “I thought I told Twilight to tell you all what was happening here in Canterlot but it seems that she has forgotten to mention it to you two. For that, I am sorry. You are correct, the tasks are mundane, and anypony can do them. In fact, everypony is. A large change to recent files is underway to improve our organization, and we need all the hooves we can get. I’m sure you’re quite familiar with this new organization system, as it was you who created it and one that Twilight has shared with me. I’m sorry to have taken her for as long as I have, but the last pieces are being put in place, and once the system is done, then many of us will be granted more time off, including Twilight.” This isn’t what Anon was expecting. Twilight talked to Celestia about the official system they use in our world's government to organize things? “For that, I thank you, as Luna and I will be getting more free time to ourselves too. So, in a few days, everything should be worked out. With that, Twilight will return and you three can return to your normal lives.”
“Whoa...” Spike says. “So that’s what’s been going on.”
Anon sets the letter down baffled. “Yeah, it makes sense. It’s good to know they’re going to start cleaning things up there.”
“Plus Twilight will come back home!”
Anon smiles at that. “We should throw her a party for working so hard, right?”
Spike nods. “Yeah!”
“Alright, that’ll come tomorrow. For now, wash up. It’s time for bed.”
Spike doesn’t wait as he hops from his seat and runs up to the bathroom. Anon clears the table before heading up to get ready for bed as well. This is excellent news, and he’s excited for Twilight to come back.
Anon is once again alone in bed. This is bizarre. Just like the last time when he was in the crystal empire, he’s alone in this bed wishing Twilight was here. However, there’s no cuddle buddy this time around. He lets out a sigh as he tosses and turns a moment but soon settles onto his back as he faces the dark void of the roof. Then a sound comes to his ears as the stillness of the room is broken. It sounds roughly like Spike. Curious, Anon gets out of bed and walks to his door and looks out into the hallway.
“Don’t,” a voice mumbles from past the room a few doors down.
Spike’s apparently having another vivid dream. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s talked in his sleep. It’s one of the main reasons Twilight had him move to another room. That, and of course, private time. Anon would’ve gone back to his bedroom in a futile attempt to sleep until he heard Spike scream out.
“Don’t leave! I... good...”
Troubled by this, Anon instantly runs over to Spike's room and opens the door. What he finds is Spike sitting up in bed, his face in his claws as tears fall onto his lap.
“Spike, are you alright?” Anon steps closer as Spike looks up at him.
With wavering eyes and lip, Spike clenches his eyes shut as he springs for Anon. It’s so unexpected that Anon almost drops Spike as he swiftly catches him and holds him tight. He would be agitated with him, but the sounds of sobbing are in the air as Spike cries into his chest.
“What’s wrong, buddy?” Anon speaks gently.
“I-I had an awful nightmare... T-Twilight said she didn’t want to be with us anymore and left. Something about being a Princess demanded commitment, and we weren’t part of the plan.”
Anon is starting to understand why Spike is terrified. With Twilight being gone for as long as she has, it was only a matter of time until he started having negative thoughts about it.
“You know Twilight would never leave. She loves us.”
Spike clenches onto Anon’s shirt harder. “I-I know, I just miss her.”
“You’re not the only one, Spike,” Anon admits. Looking down at Spike as he looks up at him with large shimmering eyes, Anon can’t leave the kid alone. “How about we bunk up together?”
Spikes eyes widen. “Like a sleepover?”
“Well, we live here, but yeah. We can stay up and eat terrible things. Maybe even talk about girls?”
Spike’s attitude flips immediately as he smiles. “That sounds awesome!” he answers, hugging Anon.
That makes Anon chuckle to himself. “Well, if we’re going to have a sleepover, we need snacks.”
Spike hops out of Anon’s arms. “I’m on it!”
“Good, bring it to the living room, I’ll get the blankets and stuff.”
Spike gives a salute as he hastily runs off. Anon takes his time to gather everything they’ll need as he walks it down to the main room and places everything on the floor. Spike soon comes in with various snacks and even drinks, setting them on a nearby table. After setting it all up, Anon and Spike sit onto the pile of blankets and pillows.
“So what do we talk about?” Spike asks.
“Tell me why you like Rarity so much.”
Spike instantly becomes red in the face. “Well, she’s good looking. I also like how generous she is, and she’s always willing to help her friends.”
Fundamental puppy love, it seems. Anon had a long chat with Rarity about how she treats Spike. It was a long time ago, and Anon could see how much she manipulated his love for her to get him to do whatever she wanted. Rarity was offended, but soon came to realize how right Anon was. She toned it down after that day and has actively been leading Spike towards other girls, as she is not interested.
Though, Spike is relatively oblivious and continues his affection for her.
“Come on, Spike. Don’t you like any other girls? It’s just you and me right now. No need to hold back.”
He twiddles his claws. “W-Well, promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Promise.”
“Um, lately I’ve been hanging out with the crusaders, and I’ve gotten to know them a lot better.” Anon can only watch as Spike’s face grows redder by the second. “I learned a lot about Sweetie Belle. She likes the same things I do and is always inviting me over to play with her.”
Anon can feel a smile on his lips. “She’s pretty, right?”
“I’d say beautiful.” Spike covers his face. “What would Rarity think if she knew I liked her sister?”
“I’m not a mind reader, but I think she’d be happy.” Anon tries to nurture this new development.
“Why?” Spike looks perplexed.
“Well, think about it. Rarity loves her sister, and she cares about you. So why wouldn’t she want you two to be happy?”
“What about her and me?”
“Spike, have you ever thought that Rarity might be too old for you?” Anon decides to lay a bit of truth on him. “I know you want to be treated like an adult, but you’re not, and Rarity knows that. The chances of you two getting together are slim at best.” He can see the tears welling up in Spikes eyes. “First love never works, especially when it’s one-sided. Consider that some advice that you were never supposed to hear. Sweetie Belle is a nice filly. Forget about Rarity and have fun.”
Spike looks depressed now, but it was time for him to hear the truth about his infatuation with Rarity. But Anon’s not going to let this night continue down this road.
“Did you know, before I went out with Twilight, I had a crush on Celestia?”
His sad mood instantly flips at hearing this. “R-Really?! Like, the Princess, right?”
“Yup. Even now I can admit she’s beautiful and kind, but do you know why I never asked her out?”
“Why?” Spike questions.
“Because she’s married to her work. Being busy with the various things that are required when running a kingdom kept her away while I was visiting. In those early years, I was sure she was the one I wanted to be with, but after a few talks with Twilight, I got to know her better, and the rest is history.”
“Wow...” Spike shifts uncomfortably before looking up at Anon. “So, do you think it’d work out between Sweetie Belle and me?”
He shrugs. “I have no idea, but there’s a chance, and that’s more than you’re getting with Rarity,” Anon smirks. “I think Sweetie Belle has a crush on you too.”
“Really?” He covers his face. “How do you know?”
“Trust me, Spike. Have I ever steered you wrong?”
“No.”
Anon sighs, realizing the situation. “Damn, I said I wasn’t going to talk to you about girls, but what the cuss!” Spike gasps at Anon’s swear. “Don’t tell Twilight I said that.”
“Of course!”
“Alright. Now, tomorrow, I want you to hang out with Sweetie as you normally do. But, before you come home, ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend.”
“Ask her, just like that?” Spike looks skeptical.
“Just like that. Be honest, tell her how you feel, that you like being around her and think she’s beautiful. All the things you’ve never told Rarity, tell her and be truthful. I swear to you: she will be interested.”
Despite his excitement, Spike lets out a long yawn. “Alright.”
Anon looks over at the clock on the wall and finds it’s almost three in the morning. “Woah, alright kid. Time to crash.”
“Ok...” Spike crawls onto one of the blanket piles and passes out.
With a chuckle, Anon gets comfortable as he closes his eyes. This was not what he expected, but he’s glad to have finally pulled Spike from that go-nowhere relationship he was chasing after. Time to get some much-needed rest, but before Anon can fall asleep, he feels something small cuddle up next to him. He opens his eyes to see Spike there curled up by his side, kind of like a dog.
He can only silently chuckle as he lets his mind wander. Tomorrow will be an entertaining day.
“Everything ready, you two?”
“Yup!” Both Sweetie Belle and Spike announce.
“Good. Today’s the day Twilight comes home, and I want to knock her hooves off with this party!”
“Should I go get her?” Spike asks.
“No need. I’ll get her,” Anon says, walking to the door.
“Alright, Sweetie and I will work on the finishing touches.”
Anon gives a nod. “Alright, behave you two. I don’t want to come back to any kissing!”
That causes the both of them to blush heavily; Spike’s more out of anger.
“S-Shut up!”
Anon laughs as he closes the door before the book Spike threw hit him. With that accomplished, he quickly makes his way to the train station. His nerves are antsy at the idea of finally seeing Twilight again. On his walk there, he’s pleasantly surprised when he notices Fluttershy and Big Mac standing side by side silently at the apple cart.
Big Mac catches Anon’s gaze and gives him a thankful nod. It appears he took his advice and it worked out. Continuing to the station, there are multiple ponies out and about. Rarity, busy with buying various fabrics for her clothes. Rainbow Dash, clearing the skies. And Pinkie being Pinkie. Anon can hear the whistle of the train arriving at the station, so he quickens his pace just as the first few ponies start to exit.
“Anon?”
He looks over at the sweetly familiar voice he’s been missing. Standing on the platform is Twilight. She looks exhausted, covered in sweat and overall a very sorry excuse for a princess. That doesn’t stop him from running up to her and taking her into an embrace. She’s unquestionably surprised, as her lower half dangles from the height difference, but she doesn’t say anything as she hugs him back.
“I missed you, Sparklebutt.”
“I missed you, Monkeyman.”
Anon pulls away for a moment so that he can kiss her next. She’s hesitant, but becomes limp in his strong arms as they share their first kiss in what felt like an eternity. Twilight's embarrassment in this public display is apparent, but Anon doesn't care. He’s been missing this for far too long. Twilight pulls away with a hefty blush.
“Alright, don’t want to get too frisky,” she warns.
“I know.” Anon sets her down. “Good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get back home and relax.”
Anon takes that as a hint to escort her home. On the walk back, Twilight tells him about everything that’s been going on and Anon hints at a few things that have happened in Ponyville as well. He wants a lot of it to be a surprise, just like the one waiting for her behind the door she’s currently opening. Spike and Sweetie Belle hop from behind a couch, but what Anon didn’t expect was the rest of her friends jumping out too.
“Surprise!” they shout.
Both Anon and Twilight are startled for a second before calming down. Spike runs up to Twilight and hugs her for a moment before pulling away.
“Gross! You smell terrible!” he states.
Twilight blushed. “S-Spike! I’ve been working nonstop for days, and I haven’t had time to wash!”
“I think you smell fine,” Anon admits scratching Twilight’s ear to calm her. “Now go on, enjoy the party.”
Twilight nods as she walks to chat with her friends. All of them saying how much they missed her and various other things too. Anon’s heart starts to swell as he watches Twilight have fun talking to all her friends. Fluttershy says something and Twilight looks dumbfounded as she looks between her and Big Mac. Then Rarity taps Twilight’s wither and points her towards Spike and Sweetie Belle, whispering something in her ear.
That shocked look comes back as she looks over to Anon’s direction and he gives a shallow nod. Her friends laugh at her reaction, and from there everything went smoothly. As Anon watched Twilight react to all the new changes, he felt lucky to have found somepony he loves and hopes that her extended stays away from home are finally calming down.
Because while a cuddle buddy is helpful, having his wife there is far sweeter.
Author's Note
Another dumb short and sweet fic.
