Author's Note
Before we start, Robbie Rotten has something to say about The Return of Harmony:
https://mlpforums.com/blogs/entry/14339-why-the-return-of-harmony-sucks/
1 - The only chapter
One day in Ponyville, Discord's chaos magic turned Ponyville into a chaotic realm that ponies couldn't safely live in. Jackalopes suddenly had very long legs, buffaloes dancing in tutus would randomly zip by, the sky would randomly switch between day and night, the roads turned into soap, and the clouds turned into pink cotton candy and rained chocolate. Pinkie Pie was delighted to experience chocolate rain for the first time, even though many other ponies weren't so lucky and either got run over by the animals or slipped and slid on the soap roads. Rainbow Dash tried to bust a chocolate rain cloud of cotton candy, but got stuck in it.
Spike prepared to deliver a message to Pinkie about the one responsible for the chocolate rain. But before Spike could run out of Canterlot Castle, he bumped into someone he never thought existed: Omni King Zeno. He was a very short and small biped with a large oval-shaped head. Said head was blue with purple sides and gray ears. His face had eyes in the center axis, a small mouth, and no nose. He wore a magenta and yellow lined coat, yellow pants and magenta shoes, and a black-and-white shirt with the letter "X" on it. He held his left hand in front of him, which Spike had got stuck to as a result of bumping into him. "Who are you?", asked Spike. "I'm Spike and I have an important message to deliver. It's about Discord, the god of chaos who is ruining Equestria with his chaos magic right now."
"No, Spike. Your message is about to make things worse. I, Zeno must make sure this Discord doesn't get to brainwash the Mane 6." After introducing himself, Zeno picked up Spike with both hands, rolled him into a ball, dribbled him, threw him straight up into the air, and roundhouse kicked him out a window, forcing him to bounce and roll non-stop in an unknown location, unable to uncurl from his ball form.
Meanwhile, Princess Celestia went to the vault she kept the Elements of Harmony in for their next use. She thought, Discord. He'll never get away with wrecking Ponyville with his chaos magic. There's no way to lose with the Elements of Harmony. But the Element Bearers didn't seem to get my message. Oh well, time to personally use the Elements again. Then she stuck her horn into the vault's rounded keyhole, opening the vault's double-doors just in time to see Zeno in front of the chest.
Zeno had both of his blue palms pointed directly at the chest containing the Elements. "A story-breaker like this must disappear!" His palms glowed with a white light. Princess Celestia used her magic to move the chest out of the vault, but Zeno levitated above her and a bigger flash of light from his hands filled the whole castle. Next thing Celestia saw, the chest turned transparent, flashed like a hologram, and disappeared.
Celestia was shocked. "What was that for? In that chest were the Elements of Harmony, Equestria's only defense against Discord, the god of chaos who is currently wrecking Ponyville with his chaos magic!"
Zeno introduced himself. "I'm Zeno, Omni-King of everything in another dimension from whence I came. You're Princess Celestia."
"How did you know my name?"
Zeno then pulled down a curtain with holographic footage from Friendship is Magic on it. "I am from the future and oversee twelve universes. On various video screens, I watch ponykind's adventures back in my home dimension. I love the slice-of-life adventures, but many of my fellow watchers aren't fond of the overpowered villains or 'I win" buttons. The only reason why any of your opponents are beaten is because they suddenly give up and let your win for no reason. If you keep relying on the Elements of Harmony, you're gonna have a bad time. They don't work until the current villain has nearly won. You'll have to come up with better defenses against the villains. Here's a hint: Why not neutralize THEIR magic for once? But since Discord is WAY too overpowered for you to take on at this point, I'll give you a free pass this one time." He then changed the screen to show footage of himself erasing Zamasu's universe-spanning final form from existence along with Zamasu's timeline itself.
Celestia was amazed to see what Zeno was capable of. "Okay Zeno, can you please erase Discord for me? The Element bearers don't seem to be prepared to take on him without the Elements."
Zeno nodded his head. "That's what I went back in time to do. Just tell me where Discord is."
Then Discord's voice came on. "Ho ho ho, the Elements of Harmony were never in that vault. Twists and turns are my master plan. Find the Elements where you began!"
Zeno replied, "Twists and turns?" before looking out the window to see a hedge maze. "No doubt about it, he's there. I better introduce myself to him. I know you would just reform him, leading to his involvement in two more villain crises making things force! First, he will hand all of Equestria's magic to a magic-stealing villain on a silver platter, then the mere presence of this god of chaos will lead to the creation of an anti-magic throne and everypony getting captured with no effort. Stand back."
Zeno then made his way to the Golden Oaks Library. I know where the Elements of Harmony are. Got to take care of them first. By "where you began", Discord means the Golden Oaks Library, where Twilight began her journey of friendship. Sneaking around to avoid any long-legged jackalopes and dancing buffaloes, Zeno arrived at the library, got the Elements out of the book containing them, and promptly erased them from existence with a single flash of light. "Now, time to take care of Discord." Then after more sneaking and animal-dodging, Zeno walked over to the entrance of the hedge maze to meet Discord. "You must be Discord. I'm Omni-King Zeno, the ruler and overseer of 12 universes."
"Yes, I'm Discord, the god of chaos. Hmm...You don't look anything like the bearers of the Elements of Harmony."
"I'm not", continued Zeno. Discord then snapped his fingers, creating a cloud of chocolate rain above Zeno and staining Zeno's clothes. Zeno then created another cloud of chocolate rain above Discord with a snap of his own fingers. "This is mimicry, one of my abilities. Now here's what I saw by watching ponykind's adventures back in my home dimension." Zeno pulled down a curtain with holographic footage of the season 4 and 6 finales and made it clear that Discord's involvement made things far worse. "And for being a complete story-breaker..." Zeno's hands began glowing white. "An overpowered god of chaos like this must disappear!"
Discord laughed. "What is that light of yours going to do, blind me?" And blind him the massive light that then flashed from Zeno's hands did. When the light cleared however, Discord saw himself involuntarily turning holographic and flashing from the attack. "AAAUUUGGGHHH! I'm derezzing, derezzing! Oh what a world, what a world!" Then he gradually dissolved out of existence. All the effects of Discord's chaos magic faded away along with him, except for the chocolate rain cloud that Pinkie was still playing under. Rainbow Dash was still trying to bust it to no avail.
Zeno nodded his head in effortless triumph. Then his video screen showed Tirek getting shot dead by a million arrows while still weak, saving the need for a two-parter involving Tirek. The screen then changed to show To Where And Back Again without the anti-magic throne or the Mane Six getting captured. "Sweet. I've changed the future."
Zeno then returned to Princess Celestia, who was holding a celebration of his effortless defeat of Discord. There was a massive stained glass window of Zeno erasing Discord from existence. Celestia announced, "I, Princess Celestia, present Zeno, who stood up to Discord and erased him from existence once and for all!" Zeno received plenty of cheers while walking down the isle as confetti flew around him and flags with his shirt's "X" were lowered to both sides of him. During the walk, Zeno thanked the flag holders and confetti throwers. At the end of his walk, he bowed before getting a medal from the princess and wearing it around his neck.
Zeno then stated, "I have to go now. My homeworld needs me, and you can't rely on 'I win' buttons forever" before returning to his home dimension.
THE END
