The First Step is Always the Hardest
"I don't know, Lunar. She just seems to hate me!"
"I don't think she hates you, Butterscotch! It just sounds like a big miscommunication. She's obviously upset, so perhaps she's lashing out as a defensive mechanism... But I doubt that she hates you..."
Lunar Light was with a stallion with a coat the same colour as his name, blonde mane combed back to reveal a set of sad orange eyes. The two of them were at Lunar's house, sitting and drinking peppermint tea. He ran out of chamomile some time, but Butterscotch didn't seem to mind.
"Are you sure, Lunar?"
"Positive, Butterscotch. You just need to be patient. Like you said, she's going through a difficult time. She'll get through it. Just be there for her, but don't be suffocating. She obviously wants to work it out for herself, but having a safety net like you around would be comforting to know."
The indigo stallion sipped his tea quietly, keeping one knowing eye on Butterscotch to assess his reaction. Butterscotch seemed to be playing with the advice in his head, furrowing his brow and eventually looking back up at Lunar, smiling warmly.
"Thanks Lunar... I was really worried that she'd never speak to me again."
Lunar smiled and waved his hoof dismissively, giggling a bit.
"Don't mention it! I live for this kind of thing~ It's how I got my cutie mark after all!"
Butterscotch smiled a little wider, finishing off his tea before setting the empty cup and saucer down on the table in front of them and standing up. Lunar did the same, walking him to the door.
"You're a real great friend, Lunar Light."
"Hehehe! We only just met a few hours ago!"
"Yeah, but it's like I've known you for years! It's no wonder they call you 'Night Light'. See you around!"
Butterscotch went back outside, a new perk in his step as he left Lunar's house. Lunar smiled warmly as he closed the door, then leaned against it for a moment as he sighed, relieved. Helping ponies was hard work, even with the tea! He smiled and went into his home taking up the cups and saucers before putting them into his sink and rinsing them off. Standing up on his hind legs, he stretched his forelegs above his head while yawning into his hoof, dropping back down to all fours before heading toward his bedroom at the end of the hall.
He paused, however, at the door just before his bedroom, giving it a sideways glance. Did he need to go in there today...? No, surely not. Well... maybe just a quick visit.
Pushing the door open slowly, the old hinges hardly making a creak, Lunar peered into the dusty room. The room was windowless, with only the one door leading in from the side. Near each of the four walls, a lone chair and table sat, each a little different from the last.
An old Victorian chair and a writing desk to the right, an rolling office chair and work desk, upon which sat a broken typewriter, to the left. Across from Lunar, there was an old, plastic folding table and a plastic chair with thick legs. And just beside the door sat an old wooden coffee table, behind which was a tattered recliner with a lever that didn't work. The center of the room had a lone stool with a cushion, standing on the floor between the 4 tables defiantly.
Taking a deep breath, Lunar Light stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He slowly walked to the stool in the center of the room, took a seat, and then closed his eyes, waiting in the dimly lit storage area. Suddenly, a voice... his own voice... spoke up just in front of him, making him open his eyes with a start.
"Oh Celestia, here we go again..." it said with distaste and eye roll. In front of Lunar, sat... well, Lunar! Or at least, a version of him. The doppelganger looked a little different, however, sporting thick black rimmed glasses with his silver mane tied back into a neat ponytail as he sat in the Victorian styled chair, frowning.
"Hey, he's here for a reason, show some respect." Another look alike said, this one coming from behind him. Lunar spun around in his seat to see another him sitting at the broken typewriter, wearing a safety vest. "After all, if you can't respect yourself, who can you respect?!"
"Oooh are we coming out to play again?!" A third voice said, clapping their hooves. Lunar looked to his right, at the plastic table, behind which a Lunar wearing a painter's smock covered in a multitude of paints, inks and chalks, and an artist's beret sat; A paint-covered paintbrush sitting neatly behind one ear.
"Oh great, time for another pity party..." A final voice dripped, and Lunar looked to his left, toward the coffee table. A 4th copy of himself, this one was almost completely devoid of color. His coat was an ashy blue, his mane drooped and the bags under his eyes gave away the sheer lack of sleep he had.
The central, original Lunar Light smiled a little, nodding. "Good, everypony's here."
"Where else would we be?" The smart-looking Lunar said. "We're all in your head, so it's not like we have anywhere else to go."
"Logic Light, please don't be so rude." The painter Lunar said quietly, looking a little upset. "He's obviously here for self-improvements, so the least we can do is be supportive."
"Of COURSE he's here for self-improvements, Lite Bright..." The saturated Lunar said, sighing heavily. "That's all he ever comes here for..."
"Well, that doesn't sound very supportive of you, Black Light." The safety vest Lunar said, scowling. "You may be representative of Lunar Light's Doubt but you're a part of him just as much as we are..."
"Alright alright, I can tell today was pretty rough..." Lunar Light said, putting his hooves up to halt the bickering with a smile. "A lot of ponies needed our help today, but we got through it! And we're better ponies because of it."
"You mean YOU'RE a better pony." Logic Light corrected, adjusting his spectacles with a hoof. "WE are nothing more than reflections of your personality traits... Lite Bright being your Passion, Black Light being your Doubt, Warning Light being your Instincts and myself as your Knowledge. We're no more real than you are."
"Maybe so, but you're still all a part of this." Lunar said with a frown, turning around to look at Logic. "You're all extensions of myself, and by that logic, you're all me, as I am you. So I'm not wrong in saying that we are better."
"So what'd you call us here for anyway, Night Light?" Lite Bright chirped, giving a curious head tilt.
"Why don't we ask Black Light..." Warning Light said, turning to look at the saturated stallion near the door.
All eyes were on Black Light now, as he slowly lifted his head with an annoyed moan. He sat up and sighed, rolling his eyes and muttering something about 'shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning' and 'need a coffee'.
"He has us here because he's worried he might need outside help for his problems..."
"That's all?" Logic scoffed, adjusting some papers that mysteriously appeared on his desk in front of him. "Getting a helping hoof from others during times of crisis is both natural and expected. Quite frankly, I'm not sure why we're even doing this at all..."
"Yeah!" Lite said with a broad smile. "You can't be expected to work out life's issues all on your own!"
"Well, that's kind of why I made you guys." Lunar said, patiently smiling at the passionate artist. "I know you're not exactly... real ponies, but you still help me get my thoughts in order before I try to make any big decisions.."
"But that's just it, we're not real ponies.." Warning said, tapping his desk with a hoof. "Like Logic said, we're extensions of your personality, not therapists."
This made Lunar frown for the first time since he stepped inside, looking at Warning with a concerned look, before looking at Logic as he began to speak..
"Although this doesn't happen often, I completely agree with Warning Light... And if your Instinct is telling you that you should get outside help, you should get outside help."
Lunar turned and looked at Black, tilting his head. "What about you, Black Light? What's your opinion on all of this?"
Once again, all eyes were on Black, and he looked across all 4 of them before shrugging quietly. "It makes sense to me."
"Great. Alright, I'll make an appointment with a therapist tomorr-"
"Although..."
Everypony went quiet as they looked at Black again.
"I can't help but think that maybe seeing a therapist is too much. Or even seeing other ponies about your problems, for that matter."
"What do you mean, Black?" Lite said with a frown, which was rare for him.
"I mean that.. Ponies come to us all the time for help during times of need. We give them advice, they thank us, and we all get a little better as a result. But how would it look if the pony with our cutie mark was out there asking for help? It'd make us seem like complete hypocrites..."
There was a pause as everypony looked down at their desks, considering what Black was saying. Even if he was the embodiment of Doubt, he made a lot of sense.
"Our special talent is 'helping ponies by providing hope and support in dark times'... That's how we earned our nickname, Lunar. If we can't even help ourselves out, how are we expected to help other ponies?"
"But we do help ourselves..." Lite said. "That's why we're even here!"
"Yeah, but think about it! What if we go to get help, and then Lunar has to spill the beans on his little 'self-improvement seminars'? He'd look like a complete nutcase!"
Lunar flinched a bit at that. He certainly didn't want to appear crazy, and come to think of it, sitting in a room, talking to yourself... Or.. rather, selves, DID seem rather crazy...
"Somepony might wrongfully diagnose us with Split Personality Disorder, or worse, they might put Lunar on some pill that renders us completely moot! And I may be Lunar's Doubts, but I like helping him out. And if some lab-coat wearing egghead makes him take pills that stops us from helping him, that just doesn't sit right with me."
There was a long silence as Black finished speaking, laying down on his recliner. The other ponies all looked at each other quietly, processing what was said. Eventually, Logic decided to speak up first, as he usually did.
"I suppose that makes sense... But ultimately, the final call rests on your shoulders, Lunar...You now know the pros and cons of asking for help, so I trust you'll make the right decision. You always do."
There was a round of agreements and nodding from the other 3 ponies as Lunar sat there, puzzling to himself. Soon, he looked up at the 4 doppelgangers and smiled patiently.
"Thanks everypony... I think I'll sleep on it before I make a call."
Everypony nodded approvingly before waving goodbye, and Lunar opened his eyes.
He was alone again, sitting in the empty room. He looked around at the tables, then stood up and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him before walking to his bedroom for a good night's sleep. He had a lot of thinking to do.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNG! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNG! BRRRRR- *click*
Lunar yawned as he lifted his hoof from the alarm clock, stretching his forelegs above him before rolling out of bed and standing up. He went to the window and peeked out, smiling at the chirping birds and partly cloudy skies of Ponyville. Another beautiful day, another chance to be better than the last. He turned back and went to the bathroom, taking a brief shower before brushing his coat and mane, then walking out into his living room.
He had a several things to do that morning, like he did every Saturday. He walked to the door, slipping his saddlebags neatly onto his sides before stepping outside and taking a deep breath of the crisp, springtime air. With a light skip, he started toward the market street, cantering happily as he hummed a tune of nothing in particular. First the tea shop, then he'd probably stop at the cafe for some breakfast. However, last night's thoughts buzzed in his mind still, and he knew he'd eventually need to figure it out.
But now was not the time for that. He had shopping to do.
Making his way into the store, he started to slowly walk down one of the aisles, looking at the array of tea flavors. Peppermint, chamomile, orange zest, apple cinnamon... They were all good! But he didn't exactly have enough bits to buy EVERY flavor... He ultimately decided on some chamomile, some honey lemon, and some apple cinnamon before walking to the front counter and paying for his purchase. As he was just about to leave, who would come in other than Butterscotch?
He looked around, then smiled and ran to Lunar eagerly.
"Hey, Night Light! Thanks so much for the pep talk the other day! Me and Cotton Socks are totally on the same page again! She and I are heading out to the Bannered Mare later tonight. Wanna come?"
"Hehe! No thanks, Butterscotch! I'm just glad I could help!"
"And thank goodness you did! We've never been more in sync!! If there's anything I can do, just gimme a call!"
"Will do!~ Take care!"
Lunar Light smiled as he left the tea shoppe, a new perk in his step. Help from other ponies? Bah! He had life taken care of all on his own, he thought. Humming the tune a little louder this time, he went to the nearby cafe, his stomach growling for a meal. He took a seat, picking up a menu and leafing through it curiously.
Eventually he decided on a grass and daisy sandwich with a glass of lemonade. As he waited for his food, however, he overheard a mare with her colt nearby. The colt had apparently fallen and scrapped his leg, while the mother tended to him.
"It's okay, Dry Reef.. It's just a little scrape."
"I-I don't need a *hic* a bandaid!" The little colt said, trying his best to sound tough between sniffles. "I-I'm a big foal!"
"Yes you are, dear, but even big foals need a helping hoof once in a while~"
"R-Really?" He managed to choke out.
"Yes, really~" She said, giving him a warm smile as she finished bandaging his leg. "And there's no shame in asking for help either..."
Lunar frowned as he eavesdropped, ears lowering a bit as he sat there.
"Thanks Mom~" He said cheerfully, wiping his tears with his foreleg.
"Of course, my big foal~" She said with a giggle. "Want to get some ice cream from Sugarcube Corner?"
"Oh boy!" He said, galloping off towards the confectionery while his mother quickly followed behind.
"Sir?"
Lunar snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at the waiter holding a platter with his meal on it.
"Is everything alright?"
"Uh.. yeah, yeah. Sorry! Just spaced out for a minute."
The waiter gave him a warm smile and nodded, then set the platter down for him. Lunar Light smiled and took his sandwich up, taking a slow, deliberate bite and chewed slowly. Talk about coincidental... He rolled his eyes and shook his head stubbornly, taking a long sip of his drink. He didn't need any other pony to help him through this. Other ponies come to him for help, so it'd look bad if he needed help, right? He shook his head again, as if to dismiss the thought.
The day went swimmingly, past that. He continued his shopping, greeting ponies as they went by. And soon enough he was back home, safe and sound. Unpacking his things, he went to the bathroom to wash his face. Gently scrubbing at his face with a washcloth, he stood up straight and looked into the mirror, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw Black Light staring back.
"You know I'm right, Lunar." He said, scowling. "Ponies would think you're crazy. They'd stop coming to you and you'd stop doing what you love."
"I just don't think it's right to keep my feelings and thoughts all bottled up like this!" Lunar protested, frowning at him. "You may be the embodiment of Doubt, but you're not the one who makes the final call. We're in this together, regardless of what you or any pony else thinks of me."
"Then go, Lunar Light. Go and see what happens. Or you could keep quiet and happy. We're fine the way we are. You have us to help you through things."
His reflection flickered and turned back to normal, making him blink a few times. This was getting out of hoof. His personas were starting to invade his life outside the room, which wasn't good. But he wasn't about to turn around and see somepony in a suit, taking up 40 bits an hour just to tell him what he already knew. He was conflicted. On one hoof, talking about his personal stuff would help him out and he wouldn't feel so alone; But on the other hoof, he was worried about being judged by others.
"I'm not doing this today." He said scowling, tossing the towel into the hamper. "You're a big pony, Lunar Light. You'll figure this out."
A week passed and he still never figured anything out... each day was more of the same. Ponies would come to him, some friends, some complete strangers, and they'd ask for his advice. He'd always take them in, have a cup of tea, listen carefully, assess the situation, then react accordingly. It was same old, same old. But for some strange reason, the warm fuzzies that he'd feel in his chest after helping somepony wasn't happening anymore. By the end of the week, rather than feeling energized and happy, he felt... drained.
Really drained, in fact. Saturday came once again, and instead of his normal perkiness that he had the previous week, he was sluggish, dragging his hooves as he went to the tea shoppe. The clerk gave him a concerned look, tilting her head at her regular.
"Night Light, is that you? Gosh, you look terrible.. Didn't you get any sleep last night?"
Lunar frowned a bit, giving her a sideways glance and a shrug, which was rather unlike him. The clerk frowned, her concern only growing. She quickly came out from behind the counter and followed him down the aisle, gently putting her hoof against his forehead.
"No fever... Are you feeling nauseated, Lunar?"
"No..." He muttered, eyes lazily scanning over the array of tea boxes, but the clerk could tell he wasn't reading them, he was just staring.
"Well, if there's anything I can do, please let me know. I'd love to hel-"
Lunar Light stood up straight, alert. He gave her a scowl, his ears lowering. "I don't need help, Tea Biscuit."
Tea Biscuit backed up a bit, frowning. "Everypony needs help once in a while, Night Light... You of all ponies oughta know that. It's okay if you need a helping hoof.. There's no shame in asking."
He scoffed, rolling his eyes and grabbing down a box of Earl Grey before going to the counter with Tea Biscuit following behind. He paid for the box, sliding it into his saddle bags while the concerned mare paused, then slowly slid his bits back over to him.
"No charge, Night Light. You helped me in my time of need, so I wouldn't feel right charging you during yours.."
"I'm not in need, Tea Biscuit.. I'm just... not feeling like myself today. Just take the bits.."
"No, I insist. You're one of my best customers."
He frowned a little, but reluctantly took the bits back, looking a little shameful. "Thank you, then.."
"Don't mention it. And Night Light?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Take care of yourself..." She said, giving him a worried smile.
He looked at her, giving her a short nod before waving goodbye and heading out. That was weird... he thought, frowning. I'm not feeling THAT unlike myself... Is it really that noticable?
"Yeah, actually, it is."
He jumped at the voice, looking at an empty market stand. Logic Light was leaning against it, giving him a disapproving frown. "You're being awfully abrasive today."
He looked around, before trotting up and frowning.
"Logic Light, why are you-"
"HIIII NIGHT LIGHT!!"
He jumped again, spinning around to look at Lite Bright, stepping out from behind a barrel with a big grin.
"L-Lite Bright too?! Why are you guys appearing in public now?!"
"Quiet yourself, Lunar.." Warning Light said, trotting over from an alley. "Don't make a scene. Can't have ponies seeing you talking to no-one."
He looked at the 3 of them, looking a little panicked, whisper-shouting at them. "You guys need to leave, now!"
"We're only appearing because you need us, just like always." Logic said, lowering his eyelids.
"Yeah! We saw you were havin' troubles in the market today!" Lite Bright giggled, shivering as a pony walked right through him. "Whoaaa creepy~"
Lunar looked around in a slight panic, then quickly trotted to an alley and waved them to follow. After the last one stepped into the alleyway, he scowled at his personas.
"I don't need you right now! If I did, I'd go to the room!"
"We're not limited to the room and you know that..." Logic said, rolling his eyes. "We're in your head. And yes, you do need us. That's why you're seeing us."
"NO, I don't!" He growled, shaking his head. "Why am I talking to you?! Why am I talking to myself?! You're not even real!"
"We're as real as you let us be, Night Light!" Lite said with a grin, hopping in place.
"Shut up!" He snapped, making Lite cower a bit behind a crate. He rubbed at his face with his hoof, shaking his head. "I can't believe it, I'm talking to a bunch of imaginary versions of me."
"Night Light...?" A feminine voice said, coming toward the alley. He recognized that voice a mile away, Pinkie Pie. She hopped toward the alley, looking around, then spotted him, smiling and hopping over. "What are you doing in the middle of an alley?"
"Yeah, 'Night Light'...." Black Light said, appearing in front of him with a frown. "Go ahead, tell her what you're doing."
Pinkie Pie hopped right through Black Light, and Lunar Light began to look nervous. "Uhhh... I'mm... um... looking for... my..." He looked around at the ground, then hastily picked up a bottle cap. "MY BOTTLE CAP!" He said, grinning nervously.
The party pony tilted her head curiously, giving him a questioning smile. "Your bottle cap?"
"Yeah, my bottle cap!" He tucked the bottle cap into his saddlebag, smiling at her while his hallucinations all looked at him disapprovingly. He did his best to ignore them, looking at Pinkie directly. Unfortunately for him, being the Element Bearer of Laughter means that she's not ignorant to when ponies are upset... Quite the opposite.
"Well, okay! I heard that you were feeling kinda blue earlier in the tea shoppe... Everything okay?" She chirped, that same disarming smile never leaving her face. Her blue eyes piercing his facade like a hot knife through butter.
"I.. um.. Y-Yeah! Absolutely! Why wouldn't it be?" He said with a fake-as-can-be grin, doing his best to appear as happy and peppy as possible.
Pinkie kept smiling, staring, and waiting. That cute expression was quickly starting to break him, but he held fast, standing next to his lies.
"Welllll okay! As long as you're sure!" She said cheerfully, then she turned tail and hopped back out of the alley, looking over her shoulder. "Hey, why not come to Sugarcube Corner later? We can throw a bottle cap party or something!"
"Heh heh! Y-Yeah, I'll think about it! Okay, bye!" He waited until she turned the corner and left, then sighed in relief.
"Nice execution." Logic said dryly.
"Smooth as sandpaper, graceful as a yak." Warning said, equally dry.
"Shut up, both of you. Neither of you are even real." He said, cantering out of the alley, going right past the 4 of them. "I don't need any help and I certainly don't need you."
"Oh you don't...?" Logic said, scowling.
"Well if we're not wanted..." Warning continued, looking at Lite.
"Then we'll just leave!" Lite Bright said, clearly hurt.
This made Lunar Light pause, then he spun around, seeing the alley was completely empty. He shivered, feeling a cool breeze suddenly. He worried that maybe he was too harsh, but then shook off the thought. "W-What am I saying?! They're not even real ponies!" He stated, huffing sharply.
He shook his head and started back toward the market to finish his business.
Another few stops later, he stopped by the cafe again, picking up his menu. "What to have...?" He said, looking over the different dishes. For some reason though, his vision wouldn't focus properly... He could see the letters plainly on the menu, but for some reason, he couldn't make words out of them. Just letters. He frowned before shaking his head, trying to readjust his eyes. The waiter eventually came over, looking at him curiously.
"Sir? Are you ready to order?"
Lunar Light jumped a bit, then looked at the menu, back at the waiter, and let out a defeated sigh. "Um.. I lost my appetite." He set the menu down, standing up and walking away, leaving behind a very confused waiter.
"What's wrong with me...?" He muttered to himself, trying to make sense of it. He decided to move past it and started toward the market again. He frowned as he finished his errands, but for some reason he couldn't focus on anything.. He kept spacing out, staring at nothing in particular, and standing stock still. Eventually he'd snap out of it and he'd continue what he was originally doing, but it was happening often enough that ponies started to take notice. Eventually, somepony must've gotten concerned enough to get help, because as he was heading back home, Nurse Redheart and Princess Twilight both came over to him with worried looks.
"Oh, Nurse Redheart, Princess Twilight! What's going on?" He said, semi-cheerfully before frowning a bit. "Am...I in trouble?"
"No! No no no..." Twilight said, waving her hoof a bit. "Nothing like that! We've just noticed your um... peculiar behavior lately."
"I've been acting peculiar?" He said, trying to feign ignorance, but the mares didn't seem fooled.
"Yes, to the point where several ponies took notice and informed Nurse Redheart and myself.. You know, in case it was a friendship problem."
He blinked, then shrugged lightly, giving them a fake smile.
"Oh, well, I'm just fine~"
"Lunar, please." Nurse Redheart said, frowning and putting her hoof to his chest. "If you're not feeling like yourself, it's okay to ask for help."
Lunar smiled and gently pushed her hoof off his chest. "Nonsense, I'm feeling just fine. I just need some sleep, that's all."
The two mares looked at each other, exchanging concerned looks before turning back to him. "Well... if you say so, Lunar." Twilight said. "But please, if anything changes, come tell me or Nurse Redheart right away. Any time. We'll help you. There's no shame in-"
"Asking for a helping hoof..." He finished, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine. Honest!"
The duo looked at each other again, then gave him a worried smile and a hug, then took their leave. He waved goodbye, then stepped inside and unpacked his things. But a lingering thought in his mind kept him from focusing again... He sighed, knowing exactly what it was, then went to the little dusty storage room, taking a seat on his stool.
He closed his eyes, waited, and then opened them. But no one was there. He looked around, frowning. "That's odd..." He closed his eyes again, waited, then opened them again. And again, no one was there. He was just sitting in a dimly lit room, alone.
"Where...where are they?" He said, his breathing starting to become shallow. "They always appear when I need them!"
"You DON'T need them."
He jumped nearly out of his seat, spinning around to see Black Light scowling at him from his recliner.
"What?"
"You said it yourself, Lunar Light. You don't need them and you don't need me."
"C'mon, I didn't mean it like that!" He said nervously, his eyes beginning to tear up. "J-Just tell the others to come by! I-I could really use a pep talk!"
"Don't we all?" Black said, scowling. He stood up from his seat and stretched, then started toward the door.
"Hey! Wh-Where are you going?! Aren't you going to-"
"No, I'm not. We're not real, remember? You don't need us." Black said, pausing for only a moment to scold him, then he walked to the door and disappeared.
"Don't leave..." Lunar whimpered, tears beginning to well up.
But he was alone. He always has been. And as soon as that reality sunk in, everything broke down, including poor Night Light. Tears began to stream down his cheeks and he began to cry for the first time in what felt like forever. The weight of the world felt like it was on his shoulders and he just couldn't bear it anymore. All he could do was cry and choke. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk.
And he didn't even hear the knock at his door that evening. Nor the second one, or the third. He didn't hear the front door opening, nor did he hear the hoofsteps down the hallway. Only when the door to the storage room opened and he was bathed in the light from the hall did he stop crying for a minute, seeing who else but Pinkie Pie standing there, looking concerned as ever.
"Night Light...? What are you doing crying in this dark room all alone?" She inquired, and as soon as the word 'alone' left her lips, the poor indigo stallion began to bawl again. Realizing he was in need of lots of TLC, she immediately went to the bedroom and grabbed his blanket, dragging it inside and wrapping it around him, carefully leading him out into the living room.
"That's it, careful now.. Just be gentle." She said, coaxing the whimpering stallion along. Soon, they were seated in the living room, with a pot of Earl Grey tea and a box of cupcakes. As soon as Lunar Light could speak, Pinkie Pie looked at him with a small frown, pouring him a cup of tea before sitting back.
"Night Light.. Why didn't you just be honest with me?"
"I...I just felt like... i-if I needed to ask for help.. Ponies might think I'm not...not.."
"Not what?" She said, tilting her head to the side.
"They might think I'm some sort of hypocrite or liar!"
Pinkie looked shocked, then looked sternly at him.
"Hypocrite? Why in Equestria would they think you're a hypocrite?! Everypony needs a helping hoof once in a while. Even I can't be happy ALL the time!"
"W-Wha?" He sniffled, looking up at her in surprise. She was the happiest pony he knew! He wasn't even sure she knew what sadness felt like!
Pinkie sipped her tea carefully, then gave him a small smile.
"I mean, I'm happy a LOT of the time, but I can't be happy ALL the time~ Ponies need emotional balance, Night Light... You can't expect yourself to help everypony in Equestria... And certainly not alone! You have friends and family who care about you just as much as you care for them. Besides, being sad isn't ALL bad..."
He stared into the rust-colored drink steaming from his cup, seeing his reflection staring back. And for the first time in a while, he felt vulnerable.. But safe.
"Being sad sometimes just makes you appreciate the times when you're happier more!" She chirped, taking a bite from a cupcake and smiling at him with lips covered in frosting and crumbs.
She made a lot of sense. He shifted in his seat, looking down at his tea before looking back at her.
"How'd you know to find me..?" He said, sounding a little ashamed.
"When you didn't show up for your bottle cap party, I got worried. You were the guest of honor! So I boxed up some cupcakes and went out, looked and looked and looked and looked and looked and finally I thought to myself 'Hey! Why don't you go check his house you silly goose?!' So then I went to your house, but you weren't answering the door! So I opened the door and I heard you crying, then I grabbed your blanket, and led you out here, and now here we are!"
"Oh..."
There was a pause as Lunar Light sipped his tea with a frown, then looked up at Pinkie, managing a weak smile.
"Thanks, Pinkie..."
"Awww don't mention it!"
"Is there anything I can do to-"
"Yeah, there is one thing!" She said with a big smile.
"Oh... um.. what is it?"
"Pinkie Promise me that you won't ever let yourself suffer like this again! You had a lot of ponies really worried about you!" She said, frowning a bit. "So you need to Pinkie Promise to not be afraid to ask for help when you need it from now on!"
He blinked, then gave her a smile again. "Okay... I promise.."
"Nooo you gotta Pinkie Promise!"
He rolled his eyes as his smile only got bigger. "Okay okay! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! I promise I'll get help when I need it!"
Satisfied with that, she gave him a big hug and giggled, then stood up, trotting toward the door.
"Where are you going?" He said, blinking.
"Well, if we leave now, we can still make it for most of your Bottle Cap party!"
"Pinkie, you know I was fibbing when I said-"
"Of course! But I wasn't fibbing when I said I was gonna throw a party! Pinkie Pie NEVER lies about parties! Now c'mon!" She said eagerly, hopping in place. "You can still blow out the candles!"
Knowing better than to argue with her, he just smiled and rolled his eyes, then hopped off the couch and kicked off the blanket, leaving with Pinkie to attend his party.
Author's Note
"I've come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival."
- Audre Lorde
"Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel."
- Eleanor Brown
