So yeah, it’s been two weeks since that happened.

Once we all got off the rooftop, and the henchpegasi saw that Black Flight was gone, they basically just took the bits their boss paid Clever and myself and fucked right off. Clever and I stayed behind, of course. I distinctly remember the feel of the pavement, cold and granular against my hooves, and the dense, salty stench of blood as I sat by Heather Clouds’ body while Clever rushed to fetch the police. I’d love to say she looked peaceful lying there, lifeless and smashed up as she was, like she’d finally found some respite from it all, but she just looked dead. Not even asleep. Just... dead.

I’m fairly certain I cried, but I can’t say for sure. All a bit hazy, I’m afraid.

When it was all over, Clever and I returned to Ponyville, where I proceeded to confine myself to my apartment and set about drinking myself to death.

I want to end it. I want to let myself fall into those abysses and alleyways and just tumble forever. I want to close my eyes, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Something is holding me back, and I wasn’t sure what it was until yesterday. Yesterday was when it hit me. Because what I now realise is that Heather was ultimately correct: I do have a calling, and it’s something inherent, something both biological and metaphysical. It’s as though there is a river flowing behind my eyes, living, breathing, and I can’t do anything but follow and hope it ends somewhere. Who knows, maybe I’ll find out someday.

Another thing that happened yesterday was that I received a letter from Clever. Naturally, he is deeply concerned about me, but this one was different to the others he had sent since we got home, and I stopped opening my door to him, to anypony. In this particular letter, my friend wrote to me of a case. A new case. And if I’m being honest, it does sound rather intriguing. Maybe I’ll go by and see him later. I don’t know. But I guess it couldn’t hurt to cast an eye.

…Actually, it probably will. But I’ll fucking do it, anyway.

Author's Note

Special thanks go out to OnionPie and You are welcome for their invaluable counsel and support. And to all those who stuck around, hopefully dropped a laugh or three along the way: your president salutes you.