Living is Worse Than Death
I never meant to kill her.
I'm sitting at the edge of a cliff, wondering what might have been. If only I had known. Sometimes I'm really sorry she died but other times I can't find myself caring even a little. It was just she made so many mistakes, and s I tried to confine her to the castle but she still managed to hurt ponies. It was only for a little while, but just because it was fixed doesn't change the fact she hurt them in the first place.
Celestia stared at her sister.
"Could you please be a little more careful with your experiments?" she asked, out of the blue.
"Sorry, sister dear, but the results are so unpredictable. I'll stop them if it'll make you happy," Luna offers.
"Oh, Luna, I want you to be happy as well, but couldn't you try something less dangerous? It's causing harm to the public."
"Sorry." She smiled sheepishly. "Woopsie."
Celestia sighed. Luna had made so many mistakes. The tantibus, nightmares, and of course, not to forget the Nightmare Moon fiasco, and the way she almost killed everything on the planet.
Celestia had to do something about it.
"Luna, I'll be arranging a duel sometime soon."
"Oh," said Luna. "That's a bit dangerous, isn't it?" Duels are dumb and immature."
"Relax, sister, it'll only be one duel."
"Between whom?"
"Too powerful ponies," said Celestia vaguely.
"Which powerful ponies?" asked Luna curiously.
"The rulers of Equestria," Celestia smiled. "You and I."
A maid rushed in. "I'll grab a doctor!" she cried.
"Celestia, you're joking, right?" asked lUna nervously.
"No, I am not. This world isn't big enough for the two of us."
"Celestia..."
"You're either in or you're out!" snapped Celestia. "And everypony will know if you've backed out."
"Oh, alright," sighed Luna weakly. She has a horrible feeling about this.
I have been ruling for such a long time. It's been over a thousand years. Over a millennium of listening to ponies whine about their lives, sorting out feuds, and making so many decisions. And to top it off, I can never lose my temper to these idiotic nobles who don't realise how lucky they are. I just felt so angry with Luna. She made so many mistakes and even though she's my sister, sometimes I despised her more than anything else in this world.
I know she didn't have a great time on the moon all alone,but in a way I got a punishment as well. I had to be alone for a thousand years, never confiding in anyone, never getting a break, never getting one true day of happiness.
Cadence helps. She tells me it's OK to tell at the nobles. I don't have to be patient with them. She spends time with me. She calls me auntie. She's so warm and friendly, you could tell her anything...
But I couldn't. I can't tell her this. She's too young. All I can do for her is rid her of her immortality. What's the princess of Love with nopony to love?
If I could have one wish, it would be that I didn't have a sister like Luna. I know it's childish, but it's true. What good has Luna ever done. I've done the math and even if there was no Nightmare Moon Twilight still would have made her friends. They still would have the elements.
It was a normal day. Except it wasn't.
We agreed to have the duel at teh Grand Canyon.
It was cold.
It was quiet.
But I'll never forget those eyes.
Those eyes that looked at me like I was a monster.
Those betrayed eyes.
Those broken eyes.
We were ten paces away from eachother.
We were about to turn back to back.
Then her horn started fizzing. It looked like it would explode.
She looked at me.
"Tia! Wait! No. No!"
I meant to shoot her at the horn. But I'm a rotten shot. Her chest started bleeding.
I shot her between the ribs.
I shot my sister between the ribs.
I hadn't used light magic, either.
I walked towards her.
A pony asked me to stay clear. He said it gently with respect, but there was a firm edge.
Luna pushed teh ponies trying to help her away.
"I'm going to die anyway, let me be dramatic."
She looked straight at me, and whispered, "My bad."
Then those eyes closed and she fell to the ground.
I can't bear that she died believing it was her fault.
I was too young, too blind to see, that the world was wide enough...
For both Luna and me...
I raise the sun and moon every day. Weirdly enough, noponh has noticed Luna is gone. Every time Luna comes up into subject, Twilight pats my shoulder and tell me not to fell guilty. She says it had to be done. I think she thinks I banished Luna again.
Why doesn't anypony notice? Doesn't anypony care? Doesn't the fact that nipony has seen her for half a year alamrm anypony?! Is she really that ignored?! DOESN'T ANYPONY MISS HER?!
Diebst anypony care? I care. I wish i and her back. I miss her. But that the p-
"Hey Celestia, have you seen Luna?"
I freeze. "What'd you mean?" I ask, hoping it's not the guy I think it is.
"I mean, I havent seen her anywhere, Sunbutt."
Oh Faust. It really is Discord.
I turn around. "Oh, isn't she in her room?" I ask, trying to stay calm.
Discord hears the note of uncertainty in my voice. He's suddenly serious.
"Wheres Luna? You know something I don't."
"Why do you what to know? She definitely would want to see you!" I snap, suddenly cuttingly cruel.
"Well thanks very much! Now tell me, what happened?"
"You don't need to know," I yell in his face.
"I can just peek in your head, so you'd better tell me," he says, suddenly reasonable.
"No I will not. Get lost.'' I'm losing my usual gentle calm voice. I don't usually use such language, either.
When I look back up at him, he looks horrified. "You're insane. She was your sister."
He knows.
"Why do you care?"
"BECAUSE I LOVED HER!" he screams.
My mouth hangs open. "No... Wait, Discord, I can explain!.."
But he's already gone.
