Random Pony Trivia

by Ratnap

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10378

Take a stroll into the live of the mane 6 and learn secrets about their life you didn't expect

Have you ever wondered how Fluttershy can afford the vast amounts of animal food to take care of all her critters? Well lets see about her "second occupation" then.

What difficulties a top athlete like rainbow dash have to face when controlling the weather?

What devices are known to ponykind to simplify the day to day routine for non-unicorns, let Applejack explain them to you!

Aren't you curious how fast Rarity could get the shining gemstones during sisterhoof social? Here's the explanation how she did it so fast and found blue gems only!

What is going on in Twilight's mind when she has one of her breakdowns? Follow closely to see a work council meeting of her psyche which reflect on the events.

And the still unsolved mystery of Pinkie Pies keen senses and amazing ability to pop out of nowhere. Learn more about it while you take a stroll with our all favourite party pony!

Authors note:

I'm not a native speaker and I'm going to play around with time forms and narrative styles. At least I try to write each chapter in a different way. I'm not good at English and when it simply hurts to read what I write go tell me, I do this to improve my English and get some ideas out of my head ^^

Don't take the story too serious it has a "comedy" and "random" tag for reasons ^.~

I'm an anwefully slow writer. A turquoise with arthritis is faster than me. Good part about it, you can get your eyes healed between each chapter :x

The order of ponies in the introduction may or may not be the order in which I post the chapters.

Last but not least, I also like to draw sometimes. So I may or may not add pictures to the chapters involving some scenes of it. I will have an update section here and will announce changes I made in the comments as well.

Updates:
12/9/2011 added a picture of "Bass Soul" into chapter one. Fluttershy aka Bass Soul

Published 2011-12-08 23:11:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-05 20:46:49 UTC

Bubble One: The secret nightlife of Fluttershy

Fluttershy was singing softly while she made her daily chores around the house and animals which lived in and next to it.
“Good morning Elizabeak, have you slept well?” she said gently while filling the feeding dish for her chickens. She got a happy cluck as answer and smiled docile.
“That’s good to hear.” She replied and put back the sack with the crops in her storage room. A small frown was on her face as she saw that she didn’t have much food left for her beloved companions.
Sure she had a small garden where she grew some vegetables, mostly carrots, and she got the bruised apples or old seeds from Applejack on a regular schedule, but it wasn’t enough to keep up with all the different demands of her animals.

Birds, mice and other rodents were content with seeds, while the bigger herbivores enjoyed the apples, but her carnivore friends were simply eating her mane. She knew enough about nature to acknowledge the necessity of carnivores, but she couldn’t let them eat each other here! All of them were her friends and it would be devastating to see them, well going along with nature and stuff.

Instead she had to buy fish and meat. Since ponies don’t eat meat at all there wasn’t an established market of this in Equestria and therefore it was very hard and more so expensive to get her food supplies. She was lucky enough to have a treaty with a griffon merchant who sold her fish and meat, but it was to horrendous prices.

The yellow mare sighed. It was just too much to rely on her own small income. The citizens don’t have enough pets to make a so called ‘good living’ and Celestia forbid that she would have wished for more sick pets around Ponyville, she couldn’t even think about such a thing!

Instead she had found a nifty little work around for her financial problem. No she didn’t loan money from her friends. No way would she bother them with her small insignificant troubles. Fluttershy went back into the cosy cottage of hers and walked to an almost hidden closet, which was embedded into the wall and behind her sofa.

Angel bunny hopped onto the sofa and gave Fluttershy a half worried and half stern look as she approached him. The Pegasus mustered a weak smile at him. “Don’t look at me this way Angle.” Her gaze was a mixture of sadness and apology. “It’s good money, and you know we need it.”

The bunny shook his head furiously and made some gestures as if he was drinking something, after that he started coughing, his tiny paws at his throat and finally faint a dramatic death act.
“Oh no that won’t happen, I assure you.” She took the ‘lifeless’ body of her best friend to her hooves and nuzzles him lovingly. Angel opened his eyes to give her a most sceptical glare.

“I asked Zecora thoroughly about every possible side effect, or if it could be permanent, but she said it will all be fine. Even if I had no remedies it would wear off over time all of its own.”

Angel didn’t seem to be fully satisfied by this answer. He shook his head once again and hopped out of Fluttershy’s hooves to make place for her. The mare dragged the sofa to the side and opened up the closet. Therein she found a beige coat with matching trousers and a hat not far away from the shape of Applejack’s Stetson. Within a box there was also a light grey fake moustache alongside huge deep black shades. But the thing she was looking for now was a large bottle with several dried blue leaves in it.

Fluttershy took the bottle with her and made some tea out of the plant. After that she sat back on her couch and enjoyed her cup of tea, carefully taking each sip of the aromatic liquid. She would never have thought that this particular mischievous flower would taste so good as a tea. And she had to make sure that Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash never found out about it! The possible pranks they could pull of with it would border on the shenanigans that Discord made while he was on the loose.

Several hours later, the sun was already touching the horizon, when a ... stallion? left the wooden cottage of the most famous animal caretaker in Ponyville. He was dressed in the very same clothes Fluttershy had within her ‘secret’ closet. His mane was almost completely hidden beneath the hat and under the coat. His tail was long and flat the colour resembles to that of Fluttershy but was far less lively, covered with streaks of grey and paler in the whole.

The hide, at least the small bits that could be seen under all those clothes, sunglasses and big moustache was a pale yellow, reminiscence at the high age of this stallion. But since nopony entered her house this day it couldn’t be anypony else than Fluttershy herself. More evidence was proven by a certain bunny that stood in the doorway and looked sternly at the mare.

“I’ll be back around midnight.” Something was very odd with her voice, because it wasn’t her voice at all. The lovely sweet and demure voice of her was once again transformed into the deep, soul soothing bass she had during her first encounter with Zecora. She gave Angel bunny a good night kiss on his forehead and closed the door behind her.

Now it was Showtime!

She trotted slowly towards Ponyville, deep within her thoughts. She wondered what Rarity would say if she knew what Fluttershy did every so often during the night. Would she be upset and say that Fluttershy was lying to her, when she told that she hated it to be a model? The walking mare in stallion disguise didn’t think so.

It was the truth that she wasn’t enjoying being a model at all. The flashlights drove her crazy and she couldn’t bear it to be mobbed wherever she stood, with a schedule so tight not even the wing of a butterfly would have fitted between the arrangements. But she was enjoying the fashion show with all of her friends. It was something completely different when she wanted to show herself and when she was pushed into it. She just had to make sure that everything stayed in her control. She decides the when, where and the whether. As long as it stayed that way she was content to keep the charade up.

Fluttershy didn’t even notice that she had arrived at her destination. She looked up to a bright neon sign which invited her to the ‘Lucky Mare’ a single club for mares. She was a bit early, but her show was nonetheless the ‘warm up’ for the more embarrassing entertainment that started past midnight when she was already on her way home.

She was greeted by a handsome stallion. He was a little bit taller than the average earth pony, but not as tall as Big Mac. Fine toned muscles and a tan coat, alongside a deep blue, almost black, mane combed lazily to his left barely revealing his deep green eyes. His cutie mark couldn’t be seen because he was wearing trousers just like Fluttershy did.

“If this isn’t Bass Soul I don’t want to be Gentle Welcome any more.” He said smiling to Fluttershy, or better Bass Soul around these corners. Bass Soul curled one side of his mouth up for a slight smirk. “You should watch what you say boy, maybe somepony else comes up this path who look exactly like I do, what will you do then?” he said jovially to the doorman.

“I guess I have to take another name if this ever happens, not that I mind, the Boss could have been more creative with our stage names.” It was a policy within this establishment to use stage names over the regular ones and to hide away their cutie marks, only ‘The Boss’ was never wearing trousers. All about safety since some ponies could get quite scary and very passionate to track down a member of the ‘entertainment group’ which works here. Nothing really bad happened so far tough, but she was very fond of the privacy she got here.

“It’s just a pity that you come here every time on such a short notice. You know the Boss would like to make some arrangements with you for a working contract.”

The smirk on Bass Soul’s muzzle deepened.
“You know that I’m kind of a strider. Sometimes here, sometimes there. I don’t even know when I will put my hoof back into Ponyville until I do.” She had told this ‘lie’ so often it was almost second nature by now. So far it wasn’t a real lie at all, since she didn’t know when her supplies went too short to maintain it without the work in the night club.

“I do, I do.” Gentle Welcome agreed and finally opened the door. “Come in now before you catch a cold and rob us the awesome voice of yours.”
Bass Soul chuckled lightly and entered the house.
Within were several arrangements of tables and comfy sofas which circled around them. On the left a bar which was led by a white unicorn stallion with black vest called ‘Love Liquid’ in here.

On the backside of the big room was a stage where she was going to perform later tonight. She sure had a little bit of a stage fright. Her first attempt was really Fluttershy like, her voice barely audible over the noises. But the soothing calmness, the deep bass slowly transpired through the front rows, calmed them down, let them meld and swooning on this voice. Finally the whole audience was quite, passionately listening to her songs. That was the point when she got the confidence to keep this job whenever in need of some extra Bits.

“Ah there you are.” Bass Soul heard the voice of ‘The Boss’ as he was called here. The earth pony was as old as Bass Soul pretended to be, still good looking with his greyed black coat, greyly white mane and moustache like Sean Cantery. His cutie mark was a very detailed one, a comforting fireplace with some fluffy pillows in front of it. He never told them how he got his cutie mark, on the other hoof nopony was pushed into something he or she doesn’t want to do here, she was just curious about it.

“Ready to melt some hearts tonight are we Bass Soul?” he smirked at him, the voice very nice and warm, more suited for a loving daddy or grandpa than one would expect to run this kind of business. If he would have talked to Fluttershy, she would have flinched and looked away shyly, but he wasn’t talking to Fluttershy, he was talking to Bass Soul the one who could lead any filly into a world of happiness and romance just with his voice.

Instead Bass Soul cleared his throat. “I just give the little fillies something to dream on, if it lifts their spirit all the better.” He replied politely. “But I do have to admit that it feels quite satisfying seeing some mares coming in with sad eyes and leaving with a smile.”
“That’s the spirit!” The Boss patted Bass Soul’s back just to get an ‘oof’ from him and some side steps.
“Sorry, I forgot that you’re about as fragile as our customers, no offence.” He apologized.

“None taken.” Bass soul replied with a weak smile. The cover should not be blown!
“I’ll go and prepare myself for the show.”

The Boss nodded in agreement and left for his own preparations for this night. Fluttershy was now all on her own in the backstage area. She was the first to come and expected only Glittering Perl, the sole mare here, to see for this nights show. The ‘even more handsome’ stallions would arrive later tonight, an hour before midnight or so.

She stood in front of a giant mirror and adjusted her suits. Everything was in shape, and more importantly everything that has to be hidden was hidden. She turned her head, when she saw the door opening trough the reflection in the mirror. Glittering Perl was finally here, a crimson red unicorn mare whose beauty and graze could challenge Rarity. Her mane was rosé and cascaded in curls down like a waterfall to her left and right. Her cutie mark was that from a singing nightingale. The voice of the mare was so beautiful, that Fluttershy thought sometimes that nightingales should have a cutie mark of Glittering Perl instead.

“Good evening Bass Soul.” She said with her friendly voice. “It’s so good to sing with you tonight again.”

“The honour is on my side Lady.” He said courteously.

Her laughing ringed like crystal chimes.
“You’re such a charmer, I bet you couldn’t get away from all the adoring fillies when you were younger, am I right?”

He showed the faintest sight of a smile when he replied.
“A gentlecolt never tells.”

“And I thought to get to know some little naughty secrets of you.”
In that point she was just like Rarity, she loved gossip and mushy romance over her life.
Glittering Perl left for a secluded part of the backstage area to dress herself for the evening.

It didn’t take too long until both of them where ready, Glittering Perl in a striking outfit. Fluttershy saw the small pebbles and gemstones embedded in the fabric alongside the diamond dust which was worked into the threads.

“I see you have followed my advice and visited Carousel Boutique?” Bass Soul asked with an amused tone. He wasn’t prepared for the glare from the mare.

“You ruined me. Do you know that?” she asked sternly. The disguised mare raised her eyebrow. It was only vaguely seen behind the shades.
“I did what?”

“Now I can never buy any other clothes beside that what Rarity made! I’m spoiled for like…” she made a dramatic pause.
“Forever!”

Bass Soul chuckled. “And this is such a bad thing?”

“Do you even know her prices?” she sad flatly

Soul Bass choked on his own chuckle. This was a truth. Rarity was generous for sure, but a hard business mare as well. Her dresses were for events like the grand galloping gala and everything around this prestigious area. Her dresses were expensive for sure. Fluttershy and her friends never could have afforded one of her dresses if it wasn’t generously given to them.

“When you get to know her I’m sure she will give you some discount. Rarity is very nice and generous to her friends and good customers you will see.”

“I guess so she almost talked me into to stand model for her so she can design an entire new gown for me.”

Yes that sounded like Rarity, but there was no time for Smalltalk any more. The noises from the main room could already be heard, a distant sound like the ebb and flow of the ocean.

“We should go to entertain our eager waiting audience, don’t you think Glittering Perl?”

“Of course we should. The usual program?” she asked. Bass Soul nodded. Whenever they were both here they shared the stage time. Some solos from her, some solos from Bass Soul and finally a duet to end the performance.

“Ladies first.” He offered and let Glittering Perl go. The distant whisper grew to a staggering applause. Glittering Perl must have entered the stage. Bass Soul sat back on a comfy sofa and listened contently to the beautiful music. It was around half an hour later when Glittering Perl came back.
“Your turn Bass Soul, give them something to dream.” She winked at him.

“I give my best Lady.” He tipped his hat and went through the satin curtain which divided the main room from the backstage area. The light was dimmed, the audience barely visible from the stage. Fluttershy wouldn’t even know if one of her friends would sat there. She could only distinguish the faces of the ponies in the very first row. One face she knew for sure. Berry Punch was every time here. Everywhere were she could get a good drink and some amusement.

The lack of stamping hooves didn’t startle her. On contrary it meant that most of the visitors already knew Bass Soul and were waiting in anticipation.
He reached for the microphone and pulled the stand next to him.
“I wish you a wonderful evening my mares and fillies.” He said with a melodic tone and a charming smile.
“Tonight I will escort you through our wonderful Equestria. Have another sight on this beautiful land of ours.”

And than he began to sing the song for which Louis Hoofstrong was most famous for.

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I watch them bloom
For me and you

And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue
Clouds of white
Bright blessed day
Dark sacred night

And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

…

The air was filled with sighs and silent sniffles after the song. Bass Soul looked around. The faces of the fillies were softened, some of them seemingly still in the dreamland he had them led to. Fluttershy felt warm in this moment, just like she had sung for her little pets seeing them silently listening to her songs, all of them were now her little children.

Bass Soul led the audience through many more dreamlands. Songs of far countries and the love who went there leaving behind the aching mate, songs of the endless sky and the beauty of the night, stars shimmering in the eyes of the one perfect partner.

The audience was enthralled. Several of them were swaying their heads in unison with the music an expression of loving melancholy in their eyes. Nopony not even Bass Soul himself noticed the crimson red mare who entered the stage and approached the elderly gentlecolt.

He had just finished his last ballade when she touched his shoulder and whispered something to him. He nodded, putting his attention back to the fillies and mares in front of him.

“My lovely Ladies.” He spoke slowly so the daydreaming fillies weren’t startled back into reality. “It’s almost time for us to go.” There weren’t few ponies which gave him disappointed looks and much more little pouts.

He raised his hoof appeasing. “But we wont go until a final song.” He looked to Glittering Perl. “Shall we?”

The music started and it was Glittering Perl’s part to start the song.

After a while Bass Soul took over, a dark and soothing contrast to the lively voice of the crimson mare, before they finally joined for a duet.

Every single mare was hanging on their lips the entire time, some of them having a lone tear in the corner of their eye. When the last note faded the following silence was absolute. Then slowly some hooves trampled on the floor. Soon other joined and it didn’t take long until the whole crowd were cheering and trampling in applause for the two of them.

If it weren’t for another raised hoof from Bass Soul the applause would surely had lasted a few minutes.

“Tank you, thank you all Ladies. The greatest pleasure is to sing for so fine mares and fillies like you are. Never forget to dream.”

Glittering Perl joined in.
“And we hope you enjoy the Hoovingdales right after us.” She winked at the crowd and earned some cheers and enthusiastic whistles for it. Together they left the stage.

“Now that was a performance Bass Soul. You seem to be better the longer you haven’t showed up here I think.”

The smile he wore was warm.
“I guess it’s just that I miss them over the time. In the end it is true what I said, I like to sing for them, some of them really do have a hard living and deserve some distraction.”

“How do you know? I thought you aren’t from Ponyville?” she asked.

Fluttershy was now in need for an explanation but was saved by the bell. Figuratively.
The door to the dressing room opened and let loose four ‘more than handsome’ stallions in coat tight dresses which wouldn’t be too long on their bodies during the following performance. Fluttershy always felt awkward around these guys. She wanted to give them compliments but remembered she was playing an elderly stallion.

Glittering Perl wasn’t so hesitant and gave the first one a light smack on his backside. “You deserve your name Iron Buttock.” She frolicked.

“You do know that this counts as sexual harassment?” he replied jokingly.

The Showmare winked at him. “I’ll take my chances. You will be having fun. They’re warmed up from Bass Soul and me…” she turned around to look for the other singer, but he was already gone, lucky to have avoided some aggravating questions.

Now he was standing in the office of ‘The Boss’ who placed a purse full of Bits before his star singer. “I wouldn’t mind it when you could come more often to us Bass Soul.”

“What can I say? I have many other duties which keep me occupied.”

“So you have kind of a secret day life then?”

“You could say that.” Bass Soul smirked. It wasn’t to far off, right? He placed the purse in one of his jacket pockets.

“And you can’t tell me when you visit us the next time?”

“N~ope.” He answered with an even wider smile.

“You’re just hopeless. Good for you the fillies are tied to your lips.” The Boss patted his shoulder, this time much more carefully.

Bass Soul said farewell to his part time employer.

The moon stood high on the nightly sky when Fluttershy left the building. Fresh cool air welcomed her and the promise of a nice bubble bath with the remedy back at home.
The disguised mare trotted back to her cottage, thinking about the day. She really loved this job. Singing is one of her most favourite things to do aside from caring for animals, and the shades and moustache to hide behind gave her the security to not shy away from all the audience. And above all of it she was able to make a lot of fillies happy just because she sang for them.

Yes she really felt good about it, the only detriment was to hide her identity. She didn’t want to end like the time Photo Finish had occupied her whole life. She had to be careful, but it was worth it, for her pets, for the lonely fillies around the town, and for her. Her very private hour of being famous, when and only when she wanted it.

Bubble Two: Advertising with Applejack

The sun rose above Sweet Apple Acres, covering the trees in the same orange light like the coat of a certain farm pony that just turned around in her bed and stifled a yawn. She took a deep and relaxing breath, snuggling into her covers, almost drifting away in slumber again, when the remarkable

Cockadoodledoo

woke her fully.

Applejack winked into the early day’s light, coming through her eastern window. “No time ta waste.” She muttered and rolled out of her bed. “Ah still have ta help Applebloom and Big Mac ta get ready for their vacations at Appleloosa.”

The young mare went through her room straight for the bath. To her surprise she found her little sister already there, brushing her teeth. “Good mornin’ sis Ah didn’t expect ya ta be up that early.”

The little filly turned her head. “Ah coushn’t schleep!” she tried to say while brushing. During that act she lost her focus and the brush felt to the ground. “Darn.” Applebloom tried to get it up with her hooves, but the tooth paste made her hooves too greasy. After several frustrating attempts she finaly decided to use her muzzle to pick the persisting thing up.

Applejack’s snickering earned her a dagger stare from Applebloom which just caused her to giggle even more. “Come on Applebloom, Ah’m helpin’ ya ta get ready with everythin’.” She offered. The little filly hesitated for a second or two. She already was a big pony and didn’t need no help! But finally she nod, it would be some weeks until she sees her again, so there would be no harm to spent some time together, before they part for vacations.

They spent the next hour together in the bath grooming the little fillies coat, combing her mane and tail and tying her mane up with her signature bow. Applejack wasn’t such a savaged barbarian like Rarity sometimes seemed to think of her, it was just, that the work on a farm made it a futile attempt to stay clean and “pretty” all the time. That doesn’t meant she and her family wouldn’t enjoy some comfort time every now and then and since Applebloom was going to visit her cousin Breaburn there was no reason not to look representable.

“Thank you sis!” the filly shouted before she darted downstairs to join the others with breakfast. The remaining mare sighed slightly. It was always some effort to groom and comb another pony, much more to do it for oneself without the fancy magic a unicorn like Rarity or Twilight had. It wasn’t impossible at all, everypony was used to it and self sufficient regardless if it was an unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony, but for the two latter ones it was mostly exhausting and time consuming to do so.

On the way down to the kitchen she mused about the various tools that were made specifically for pegasi and earth ponies to lighten up some of the daily chores and how most of them had failed utterly. She remembered a new kind of plug that Big Mac tried out. It had several wheels and a big rotating wheel which should dig into the ground more easily while pulling the plug. But an unexpected stone made it jump and got her brother that nasty injury which prevent him from helping her through the last apple buck season.

No, most of them were in the best useless and in the worst dangerous, it just seemed that there wasn’t a good way to improve a pony’s life with new technologies beside magic powered tools. She entered the kitchen where her whole family was enjoying their oat meal along one of Granny Smith’s famous apple pies.

She greeted them and joined in the meal, speaking about the coming holidays and what Applebloom was going to do when they arrived at Appleloosa. She could be a diplomat, railroad-track-builder, blacksmith, circus artist with the buffalos or invent new machines for the ponies there to ease up the work.

They spent the rest of the morning laughing and joking about several new concepts that Applebloom made up to earn her cutie mark. They had given up to try to persuade the over enthusiastic filly to slow down and let things simply happen.

After breakfast everypony finished preparations for depart and Applejack escorted her siblings to the train station, bidding them farewell. She waited until the train was out of sight, before she returned to the farm. Apple bucking season was over and most of the after work had already been done. So she had plenty of leisure time from now on. Time to spent with her friends, compete with Rainbow Dash, play with Rinona and most importantly, take exhaustive naps in the shadow of the apple trees.

A few days later the orange mare was just doing that. Hat lowered into her face, a straw in the muzzle, simply enjoying the sounds of nature enriched with the smell of the apple trees and fertile earth. But something disturbed the piece. Her ears twitched, when she heard the distant sound of something like … a carriage.

It wasn’t uncommon that carriages passed the farm, after all it was on the road which led to Canterlot so she paid not much attention to it. At least until the moment the rumbling stopped near her and polite coughing caught her attention.

“Excuse me miss.” She heard an oiled voice and put back her hat, blinking in the bright daylight to figure out who was there. Her eyes needed a second or two until they adjusted, revealing three stallions. The one who had spoken was an earth pony, dark grey coat, pitch black mane styled like the past Elvis Neighsley with falling Bits as a cutie mark.

She smiled back at the newcomers “What can Ah help ya with?” She rolled to her side and got up, closing slowly the distance between her and the three until she reached the fence. Now she got a closer look at the other two. The carriage was drawn by a pegasus with red coat and a white mane styled just like Zecora’s, just less stripes in it and the cutie mark of a spotlight. The other one seemed to be a mauve unicorn. She wasn’t sure because his yellow mane looked like an exploding star, quite similar to his flashlight cutie mark.

“If I may introduce us miss. This are Spot,” he pointed to the Pegasus, “Flash,” the stallion gestured to the unicorn “And my name is Profit.” He smiled a smile too perfect to be completely honest. “We represent new and upcoming inventors and are currently on our way to find ponies who want to test them under real conditions.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow and looked at them quizzically. “So y’all go around, knocking on a ponie’s door and get them to use your instruments?”

“Basically we do.” He nodded in agreement. “And that’s the reason why we stopped by.” His much too perfect smile returned. “We want to ask if you’re willing to test some of our devices. Use them, give us feedback on them and if you’re willing to let us make photographs of you for an advertising campaign with the machines we would pay some good bits extra for your efforts.”

She was thinking for some seconds about it. Getting to test the newest things on the market before they were even out, the chance to improve said gadgets, having the opportunity to be on a cover for advertisements which probably led to more sales for the farm and on top of that being paid for it? What was not to be liked about?

“Y’all can call me in!”

A good couple of minutes later the stallions had put on a setting within the orchard to take the pictures. Large white canvas’ were placed by the pegasus to reflect light back to her and the unicorn had placed himself behind a professional camera just like Photo Finish had used while she was in town.

The place was crowned with a wooden box the size of a filly. In front of it was a plank which reached into it. She was told to press this plank continually with her hoof to make the brush on the end of a free moving arm rotate.

She was told that was a new kind of tooth brush which never falls to the ground and are easier to use and get to the hard to reach places. She expected the brushing machine thoroughly. Moved the arm around, adjusted it to the height of her sister and brother respectively and rotated the brush from horizontally to vertically. Everything seemed to be fine. She even ignored the flashlight of the camera which sometimes took a snapshot from her.

Her spectators kept silent, leaving her alone with the device to figure it out, only lending a helping hoof if she had a question that wasn’t answered in the instruction paper she got. Profit was making notes on a clipboard whenever she pointed out an open question how to use that thing.

Eventually she was ready to give it a try. The brush was watered, it hadn’t a bowl to catch the flowing water another part added to Profit’s list, and tooth paste was applied. She was told to hold her muzzle against the brush while pressing on the plank. She did so and the brush slowly started to rotate. It was a funny sensation that she got in her mouth.

It was aching a little, but felt good at the same time. She even had to resist a giggle, when she brushed the inner sides of her teeth and the brush tickled her palate badly. It only got nasty when she turned the brush downwards to brush her lower teeth on the backside. She opened her mouth wide, but it wasn’t wide enough to avoid the brush constantly rubbing into her nose. She shook her head several times in the process and had a good sneeze.

She finished the test with washing out her mouth, only slightly worried about the traces of blood in the water. She wasn’t used to that kind of dental treatment, but was sure she could get used to it and her teeth felt cleaner than ever.

“So, what do you think about it Miss Applejack?” she was asked by Profit.

“Ah have ta say, that ma teeth feel as fresh as a daisy.” Profit started to smile wider.
“But there’re still some flaws in it Ah want ta point out.” She added.
“At first the brush is too hard and rotates too fast. Even ma teeth were bleeding a bit, Ah don’t see it useful for little fillies or elderly ponies. At this point Ah would say it’s better used for hoof cleaning.” She turned back to Profit and pointed at her face and chest.
“And y’all should do something ta avoid that kind of a mess here.”

To tell the truth, her whole front as well as most of the parts of the toot brush devices were covered with speckles of the tooth paste. Not a very pleasant view and even if Applejack don’t fuzz about some dirt this kind of a mess was even too much for her, not to mention within a closed room.

“Na don’t make tha long face. Just some minor changes and y’all golden.” She smiled reassuring to them. So far it wasn’t as bad as she has expected. Not perfect, but definitely a step in the right direction.

Profit cleared his throat. “Well thank you Miss Applejack, we make sure that the changes you suggested are made.” He nodded into Spot’s direction who promptly organized a buck with water for Applejack.

After cleaning herself up she asked the three. “Now what have y’all for me next?” Profit pointed hoof to a frame which had about pony size. It had four diagonal support bars which ended in small metal hooks adjusted to a spring. It looked very … odd?

“This is a so called ‘Hair Tie Device’.” Profit explained to her. He strapped a hair rubber over the hooks and expanded it with them. “You can put your hair-band on it and have it fixed while you put your hair through it. After that you simply release the stoppers of the hooks so they snap back and you have the band attached without fiddling around with it for hours.”

“Ah’m not sure about that one, looks like a real hassle anyway.” She eyed the machine suspiciously but shrugged finally. “Well darn it. Ah promised ta help ya and Ah won’t back out now.”

“Take your time Miss Applejack. We surely want to hear your opinion about it.” Profit stepped back from the ‘Hair Tie Device’ and made place for the young mare.

She released her long ponytail from its bounds and shook her head in a wide arc. She had her eyes closed for that moment and didn’t noticed the click of the camera. When she walked towards the new test object the mare saw a faint smirk on Spot’s muzzle who was looking at his comrade Flash. She turned her head to the photographer who’s expression was unreadable behind his big shades.

She shrugged it off and turned to the device. With the hair-band already fixed she just had to fiddle in her hair through it. But that was far easier said than made. It took as long to get each wisp of hair in, as it would have taken, if she had made it on the traditional way. And there wasn’t only that problem, several times her hair just got entangled on the hooks and she had to free them first.

After a time which felt like hours for her she finally managed to get her mane into the ribbon. It wasn’t pretty at all, the ponytail looked hideous. Lose strands of hair, dishevelled and untidy. With a sick she pushed the plank to release the hooks and they snapped back. To her dismay with so much force, that they dug into her hair, entangling Applejack again.

She was impatient with this construction before and had moaned and grumped, but now it was too much. “That darn thin’ is goin’ ta rip ma scalp off!” She cussed and pulled on the frame almost tilting it over.

“Stop moving Miss Applejack!” Profit shouted. “We’re going to help you.” With the combined effort of all 4 of them, in the end they had needed Flash’s magic to untie the tiny knots around the hooks, she finally was free again. Applejack scowled at the fierce machine and turned around with a loud snort.

“That forsaken contraption not only nearly ripped ma mane off, it’s bulky and highly impractical as well. Y’all should use it ta fire your oven.” Her judgement was harsh and final, making Profit gulp.

“Of course, of course we will. I’m terribly sorry for your inconvenience Miss Applejack.” The object of disturbance was quickly put away from sight, while Profit budged in apologetically. “I hope you aren’t mad at us Miss Applejack, we would hate to anger such a fine mare like you.” He forced back his professional smile.

“Nah, Ah’m fine. Nothing bad happened at all, but ya’ll should make sure to test these things better beforehoof. That was a real big flaw, should have been noticed way earlier.” Well, a honest opinion wasn’t always the thing somepony wanted to hear.
“Ah just hope the next one don’t try ta eat me alive.” She said with a wink, trying to force her mood back to reasonable levels.

“We have just one more thing we like to try you out.” Profit promised. Flash and Spot had unpacked an even larger construction this time. It was a four legged trestle almost twice the size of a pony. She saw several ropes and clamps and a plank to operate the machine.

“That doesn’t look very promisin’.” She said sceptically her eyebrow rose.

“It sure looks intimidating, but I affirm you that it is safe. It shall help ponies to put on dresses and other clothing. You fix it with the clamps and the rubber-ropes pull the clothing outward to let you slip in more easily. It is pulled upward, you place yourself under it and rise to your back hooves.” He explained the machine thoroughly.

Well the basic idea was to stay on two legs, and rise the front ones in the air. Loosing the mechanism with the plank on the ground and the dress would be pulled down. Easy in theory.

Applejack had attached a simple yellow dress on every clamp and was pushing the plank to inch it up slowly. So far it worked. The ropes opened the clothing and all she had to do was rearing up beneath it and press the other plank to release it.

“And y’all sure it’s safe?” she asked again already under the swinging dress above her.

“Yes indeed Miss Applejack.” Was Profit’s promising response.

She gulped and reared up, front hooves high in the air. She struggles to keep her balance while she reached for the plank. When she finally got it pressed down the dress come above her and got somehow stuck. The weights were pulling her down and she couldn’t push through the dress.

“What in tarnation?!” she shouted and tried to keep her balance on just two hooves. It didn’t take long until she lost that battle and ripped through the ropes binding her completely with the remains of this crazy machine. She twisted and shook herself only to get her tied up more.

“Ah promise ta make y’all regret tying me up!” she shouted angrily at the frame and started to kick around blindly, breaking the frame, adding more debris to the mess.

Meanwhile Profit and his companions came to the decision that they might not be wanted here anymore, not knowing that the enragement of the mare was targeted almost exclusively on the device. So instead of helping the wild kicking pony they packed their supplies in amazing speed and departed quickly. The only thing what was left was a cursing Applejack and a small wallet with Bits.

Several minutes later she stood panting in the middle of broken planks, ripped clothing and torn ropes. The orange mare looked around wildly, ready to buck in some teeth, or at least give them the scolding of a lifetime. To her dismay nopony was left and she was all on her own.

“Now that’s a bunch of cowards.” She huffed and kicked another peace of wood frustrated. “And now Ah have ta clean up that mess all by maself.” She walked around the place of disaster and found the pouch with Bits. “At least they kept their word for paying me.” She picked her salary up, glaring one more time at the debris with a sigh. She would have to get her carriage to remove all of it.

She had always said it. Most of the inventions to ‘ease the life” were a waste in the best and a
threat to limb and live in the worst.

Bubble Three: Rarity’s extortion

Spike was in high spirits. Twilight had praised his efforts in the library for single clawily organizing all book shelves the past two days. But not only had she praised his passion for her, no she even gave him a free day to do whatever he pleases.

And what did he please more than a long nap and an exhaustive breakfast?

Right!

Labours of love for his one and only Rarity!

Daydreaming he walked towards the Carousel Boutique. What was he going to do this time? Get rid of the trash for his beautiful mare? Or even better, getting used as a needle cushion while watching her making a wonderful new dress?
Oh no!
His eyes were literally forming little heart shapes.
Rarity and him going out on gem hunting, getting orders where and when to dig, hard manly work to impress the mare which was in his thoughts every waking and sleeping moment.

That would be it! He decided and focused on the task at claw, meaning knocking on the front door of Rarity’s home. He waited patiently some moments, teetering back and forth. After several seconds without response he tilted his eyebrow and knocked again, louder this time and again without any response of either the lovely voice of Rarity, or the high pitched chirping of Sweetie Bell.

He tried the knob but found it closed. Even more puzzled he looked around for any clue where Rarity could have gone. It was pure luck that he saw her on the edge of the horizon, barely noticeable. It was the blending white coat and the purple swinging mane that caught his attention before she vanished behind some trees in the distance.

Spike scratched his head. That was the way to the gem grounds, but more importantly the part of the gem grounds where the Diamond Dogs lived. What would she want there? Firstly she hardly ever went alone for gem hunting if she could prevent digging for herself by any means, no the territory of the Diamond Dogs was downright dangerous!

Within the flash of an eye he zipped to a hideout and grabbed his reporter clothing. “This is the time for detective Spike!” he said with enthusiasm and hurried behind the white unicorn, eager to solve this mystery!

Despite his greatest efforts he couldn’t betray his small size and considerably short legs. Even with Rarity walking in a stern, but not hasty pace he barely managed to catch ground to her. Huffing heavily he stopped at a somewhat large boulder, leaning against it and catching his breath.

From behind his cover he saw Rarity trotting past the holes left by the underground creatures. It was until now when he noticed the saddlebags on her side. The ones she usually used to fill up with gems, when not needing many of them. What was puzzling him was that the bags were already filled with, something. How did she want to use them to carry back the gems, or had she completely different reasons to be here?

He gasped and clutched his claws on his mouth as suddenly the big head of one of the Dig Dogs plopped out of one hole almost directly in front of him. But he didn’t pay any attention to the little dragon, instead the tiny eyes kept track of the unicorn travelling further away.

Before he could say anything the Dig Dog disappeared into the soil and within moments appeared in front of the white mare. She didn’t seem to be startled by this sight and changed some words with the creature before it vanished into the ground again and Rarity continued her way.

With every minute the Mystery got more mysterious for him. Why was she talking with a Diamond Dog as if it was nothing? Why was she here anyways? And what was going on. Now more determined then ever to solve this puzzle he followed Rarity quietly.

The entrance to the cave wasn’t far away from here on and Spike zipped from one cover to the other, not letting Rarity out of his eyes for a second. He looked nervously through the leaves of a bush. The cave was guarded by two of the huge Dig Dogs armed with spears and not looking very friendly.

The mare of his dreams approached slowly, but without hesitation. It was hard to read the expressions on the faces from this distance. Some moments later the Dig Dogs gave the way free and let Rarity pass.

The little dragon panicked for a second. How was he supposed to pass the guards? Was Rarity now lost forever? What would they do to her? No! He must stay cool, There was always a way and if he had to dig through solid stone with his bare claws!

He searched the rough rocks for another entrance, or a weak spot where he could easily dig in. He nearly jumped in joy when he found something what looked like a chimney opening somewhat above the regular entrance of the cave. Now he had only to sneak to it and would be in the cave of the … dog!

Slowly he walked back until he was around a corner where he safely could climb on the wall without being noticed by the guards. Carefully he moved closer to the chimney, hiding every time in a fissure of the stone whenever one of the guards moved more than an inch. But he was lucky the two guards were busy talking to each other and the nearer he came, the clearer her words.

“Was ‘bout time that pony comes.” Said one of them.
“Yes, yeees. Would get be ugly if pony hadn’t shown up in time.” The other one grunted.
“Re~ally ugly.” The first one confirmed with a nod before both of them focused on their duty again.

Spike flinched. Was she threatened? Did the Diamond Dogs have something against her? Have they foalnapped Sweetie Bell?! He had to find out the truth! He climbed the last few yards and slid into the chimney. He squeezed through the tight chasm and crawled out of a hole in the wall several yards inside the cave.

So where to go? He looked around and followed the corridor until he arrived at a crossway. Last time they had troubles to find Rarity because they arrived so late, but now the circumstances were different. He raised his snout into the air and took a great sniff. As he thought! Rarity’s scent was still in the air. Nothing, even the terrible smell of the Diamond Dogs, could distract him from it when it was still so fresh. Spike followed his nose further into the depths of earth.

He moved on very cautiously, aware that one false step could get him caught and all his efforts were to waste. He peaked around a corner where he could hear some muffled voices and stifled a gasp. There she was!

But what was she doing there? He saw her standing behind one of the big Diamond Dogs and … brushing his fur? He couldn’t believe his eyes.
Does she have to work for them?
Has she become their slave in secret?
What could they have in hand against her to make her DO that?!

He pressed himself against the cool stonewall, claw to his chest breathing deeply, almost hyperventilating. This couldn’t be true. Not this. Not Rarity! It took him some minutes to calm down again and straighten his thoughts. He must stay focused to keep going. That doesn’t made sense at all.

Slowly moving he took another glance into the chamber, but Rarity was gone now. His eyes darted around to see where she could have gone, when he noticed another tunnel barely visible behind a larger rock, but how to get there? Diamond Dogs were still guarding this cave, albeit most of them were busy to brush each other. He raised a eyebrow confused. What the hay were they doing?

No time to ponder about that he must get going! When he was sure no dog was looking in his direction he darted from one cover to the other. Barely more than a small blur between each rock, fissure and mining tools scattered around.

While hiding behind a large rock he was able to eavesdrop another conversation.

“Pony is good with brushing. Hate to share her with whole pack.”
“Yes, one pony not enough for all Diamond Dogs.”

Did he hear right? Were they planning to ponynap more ponies? Was Rarity only the beginning? Hastily he zipped through the rest of the cave and vanished in the darkness of the next tunnel.

The scent of Rarity laid heavily in the air, he was getting closer, maybe finally get a chance to catch up with the mare and ask her out what was going on in this forsaken place and what the hay she was doing here.

He made haste to lessen the distance between him and his maiden in distress. The tunnels seemed to be endless. They twisted and turned around and confused the little dragon. If it wasn’t for her scent he would have lost her for sure with all those crossways, side tunnels and holes in the ground. Above that he had constantly to watch out for the guards patrolling the area. Often enough he had to stay in cover and wait for them to pass by before he could safely pursue his search.

He stopped dead when he almost ran into a bunch of Dig Dogs creating a new pathway. They dug into the ground swifter and more precisely than the last time he had seen it. Were they improving their digging skills? Was it their method to ponynap more of his friends? Dig underground to the town and capture them all?

“Feels so much better to sharpen claws by pony.”
He heard one of them say.
“Horn bestest thing to do that.” Another one agrees.
“Soft pony good for hard claws, who would have thought.” A third one said while they got even further into the soil, slowly disappearing into the depths of earth.

Spike only stood there rooted to the ground. In his imagination terrible pictures popped out of nowhere. Rarity being swarmed by Diamond Dogs who abused her horn to sharpen their claws, brushing through her delicate coat to smoothen the edges. His eyes were as big as saucers, seemingly even bigger than his head. A rolling boulder from the new tunnel snapped him out of his frozen state.

Spike shook his head furiously. There was no time to dwell in daymares! He eyed around the corner into the new tunnel to make sure none of the Dig Dogs were looking at his direction. Luckily they were all busy with digging and paid no attention to the entrance so he could pass by without any troubles.

In the distance he heard some more noises, voices to be precise. He knew the voices. It was the voice of the leader of the Diamond Dog pack and his subordinates as well. His heart made a skip when he even heard the lovely voice of Rarity, but was still too far away to make out what they were saying.

At the end of the tunnel was the flaring light of some torches and what seemed to be another larger cave within this labyrinth. Carefully he peaked into the chamber only to see Rarity surrounded by the three leading Diamond Dogs. He frowned at the sight.

The guy with the bright yellow gem at his collar spoke to the white mare.
“Since you’re finally here…” he started and snipped with his fingers. “It’s time to get the rod for Miss Rarity.” He pronounced the last two words in a very odd way, for Spike it seems to be mocking.

Out of another tunnel a female Diamond Dog came with a one yard long rod in her hands. It was around 2 inches in diameter, was twisted in itself like a unicorns horn and tipped with something that looked like a diamond. He particularly disliked the sly grin on her face and on the other ones. Rarity only stood there motionless as if she had already given in what was about to come.

Only one step away from the unicorn the female Diamond Dog halted and pointed the stick at her. Spike clutched his eyes behind his paws, unable to look at the horrifying scene that was about to unfold before him. Seconds crawled along like millennia. Nothing could be heard. He expected everything, slashing, pained cries, everything, but not silence.

He dared to spread his claws and peeked cautiously through them.
He blinked.
Then he rubbed his eyes.
And blinked again.

Rarity stood there her horn brightly glowing, pointing at the stick, the gem on it absorbing the magic and starting to shine. After around a minute Rarity ceased to use her magic and all the Diamond Dogs around her gave her an affectionate nod, close to a bow.

The biggest one got a barked order of the tiny Diamond Dog and vanished into a corner of the cave Spike couldn’t look into, only to come back a few moments later with Rarity’s saddlebags filled to the brim with exquisite gemstones, masterly shaped and of top quality.

“It is always a pleasure to make business with you Miss Rarity.” the leader said with his irritating snarl. Spike wasn’t sure if he said it genuinely or was just playing it.

“Sure my dear, I always love to come here.” Rarity said chirping as if she really felt comfortable in their vicinity. “Don’t forget to take a bath once in a while, you don’t want to start smelling again.” She waved good bye and left the cave.

Spike had only enough time to jump behind a small rock and dragged his hat over his eyes in the futile attempt to simply disappear. Since, when he can’t see anything, anything can’t see him as well, right?

He heard the soft clop of Rarity’s steps while she walks past his hideout. The little dragon was about to sigh contently when the steps suddenly stopped and he heard her familiar voice.
“Don’t you know that it is terrible manners to stalk a lady Spike?” she said firmly.

Spike froze in place and little pearls of sweat formed on his forehead. How did she know? He was sure that he hadn’t made any mistake in hiding himself, even just some seconds ago.
“Spi~ke.” She said again slightly annoyed. “I know you’re hiding here, don’t make me search for you.”

Slowly he crawled out of his hiding place and stood there with trembling body the eyes locked to the ground unable to face that divine pony in front of him. The white unicorn approached him slowly until she was only one hoof away from him. Spike ducked his head because he expected to be scolded, or worse rejected by his one and only love. Instead he felt her patting his head. Shyly he looked up only to see a faint smile on her face.

“Now tell me Spike, what do you do here in such a dangerous place? You could have got caught.” She clearly sounded worried about him and Spike nestled with his claws until he blurted it all out.

“That’s because I followed you in the first place! I saw you going for the gem fields without me though you always ask me to help digging for gems when you go out and it was the direction of the territory of the Diamond dogs as well, so I was really worried about you and..” he finally tumbled over his own tongue breathless because of the sudden outburst.

“That’s so sweet of you Spike.” Rarity cooed and pet his cheek. “But you don’t need to worry about me, if I was in trouble I would have told you.” Spike felt the grasp of magic engulfing him lifting him on top of Rarity’s back. Minutes ago he thought he was in for the biggest scolding known to ponykind and instead he got a pony ride on the most beautiful equine ever lived!

Rarity trotted graciously through the deep caverns, Spike still a bit uneasy because of everything he had seen and heard. “So … um… If you don’t mind Rarity, what were you doing here?” he inquired.

“Going for gems, what else should I do here darling?” she nodded at her saddlebags.

“Yeah I see, but why are you, you know, dealing with the Diamond Dogs out of all things?”

Rarity smiled contently. “Oh don’t get me wrong Spike, at first I thought these guys were simply awful and uncouth, but then again I remembered how we all acted towards Zecora once and realized, that they may be a bit misunderstood.”

“Missunderstood?!” Spike gasped. “They ponynapped you the first time we met them!” he insisted.

Rarity nodded and took another turn in the incomprehensible tunnel system. Spike had to admit, he would never be able to find out of this maze, not without something like Rarity’s cent leading him.

“I admit they’re a bit rough and fierce competitors when it comes about gems since those and metal are the only things they can trade with. But they do trade and I had just to find something of interest for them.”

“So you offered makeovers?” Spike asked quizzically and earned a hearty laugh from the mare.

“Oh no Spike, don’t be silly, I just started that when I was more comfortable around them and they got used to me.” She turned her heard and winked at him. “I gave them what they desired of me in the first place.” She tapped at her horn. “The ability to find jewels more easily.”

The little dragon thought about it some moments. “The rod that I’ve seen in the last cave?”

“Exactly my dear, I asked Twilight if it would be possible to create an object that holds my spell. Now they have a divining rod that shows them were to look for gems.”

“But isn’t that dangerous? They could just take it and never trade with you again, or dig everything out here, turning the ground and mountain to cheese and moving on?”

“Oh no no no my dear. You don’t understand, they aren’t evil just a bit too overenthusiastic about their gems. Once they had what they wanted they got really nice, besides that magic stored inside the rod is limited. I have to come here ever so often to recharge it.”

Finally they reached the end of the long subterranean labyrinth and Celestia’s sun had them finally back.
“So what was it really about the makeovers Rarity?”

The mare giggled. “You could tell that they still feared me nagging again and when I started to meet them I did made myself clear that the conditions down there were simply dreadful. One day they asked me what they should do about it and I started to ‘educate’ them a bit in personal hygiene and good manners. Apparently they liked it and the moral increased. Above all the female ones were grateful that somepony brought appropriate accessories and beauty material along. You could tell they don’t get much down there.”

Spike pondered for a while and then he nodded. “I guess I understand now, I just have one last question.” He fiddled with his little claws glancing all over the place.

“What is it dear? Come on and tell me.”

“Well… How did you find out that I was following you?” he asked almost inaudible.

“Oh Spikey-Wikey.” She smiled, turning her head stroking his cheek with her muzzle. “I know the feeling when you are watching me.” She added with a wink and continued her walk back to Ponyville.

In the meantime Spike showed his skills in mimicking a chameleon. Or why else should his whole body have turned bright red?