Scratch and Sniff

by Some Leech

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Human, Anon, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Nurse Redheart
Length: 4329

What do you do when you're not sure if you think you're going crazy or the talking equines in a magical land smell like candy? Go to the doctor.

Anon's been in Equestria for about a month and, he's gotta say, things could be worse. The talking pastel ponies are all friendly, he doesn't have to worry about taxes, and he's even started getting in shape while working at the Apple family farm. Yup, everything seems to be going rather well, that is until he notices something rather peculiar about the magical sentient equines. Unsure of what's going on he decides to visit the clinic to get to the root of his curious problem.

Kinks include: Male on Female, Interspecies, Oral, Vaginal, Scent / Musk, Squirting, and Creampie

Published 2018-05-02 20:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-02 20:20:06 UTC

Doctor Doctor, Gimme the News!

Anon sat on the exam table, idly kicking his feet as he looked around the cozy room. Numerous posters adorned the walls, depicting various tips for better equine health, and an anatomical display of a brain sat on the counter besides a sink and tray of examination equipment; tongue depressors, a stethoscope, thermometer, as well as some gauze all lay neatly arranged on its glistening metal surface. He knit his brow as he looked up at a handful of cabinets in the corner, curious about their contents. Standing, he walked over and took a peek inside, only to find stacks of informative literature on varying medical conditions and more supplies. Anon heard a knock at the door, drawing his attention and spurring him to hastily close the cabinet.

“Mr. Nonymous?” a mare asked as she opened the door.

“That’s me,” Anon replied, looking over to the pony as she trotted in. She had a snow white coat with a pastel pink tail; her mane was the same color although done up in a neat little bun behind a funny little hat with a red cross on it. Her eyes, a sky blue color, studied a clipboard she held in one hoof.

“What seems to be the problem today Mr. Nonymous?” she asked, looking up at him with a polite smile. The ponies of Equestria had adapted to his presence with relative ease over the past month, he’d heard from a few that it was due to the fact that there were all manner of sapient creatures in their land, some much more imposing than an odd hairless anthropoid.

“Well doc, it’s kinda embarrassing…” Anon began, fidgeting about and anxiously rubbing his neck.

“Nurse,” the pony interjected.

“Wha…” Anon began to ask, looking over as the pony pointed to the little hat atop her fuzzy head.

“I’m a nurse, not a doctor,” she said, extending a hoof in greeting. “Nurse Redheart, I’ll be doing the evaluation before Doctor Horse sees you.”

“Which horse doctor?” Anon asked, gently shaking the mare’s hoof.

“No, no,” she shook her head, “Doctor Horse, the primary physician of this practice.”

“Sooooo,” Anon began, leaning against the exam table, “There’s a horse doctor named Doctor Horse.” He chuckled a bit, but his smile faded when he saw the confused expression on Nurse Redheart’s face. “Right, sorry. Still getting used to everything here ya know,” he sighed, hopping back up and seating himself on the table.

Anon had found himself in Equestria roughly a month prior. He had no earthly idea how he’d gotten there, having fallen asleep in his bed and mysteriously woken up in a field outside a city he later learned was Canterlot. After a brief, albeit a polite, inquisition at the hands of the alicorn princesses he was placed in an apartment in the city of Ponyville and provided a job working as a farm hand at Sweet Apple Acres. Truthfully he thought he was adjusting to a world of mystical sapient equines rather well; although the lack of animal protein in his diet was somewhat annoying. All the ponies he’d dealt with were friendly enough, at worst he’d catch them staring or avoiding him but nobody had been openly hostile or overtly rude to him. Applejack, one of the ponies overseeing the orchard at which he worked, joked about how he was placed in Ponyville because the citizens there were used to all sorts of “crazy critters” as she put it. Anon wasn’t sure what could be crazier than flying, magical, and sapient candy colored ponies and was content in not knowing what she’d been referring to.

All in all his experience in Equestria had been pretty nice so far. The air was fresh and clean, the food wasn’t bad, he didn’t have to deal with the persistent influx of information from social media or his phone, and the company, all things considered, were pleasant. Anon wasn’t too worried about people back home; he’d only had a few friends that he chatted with online anyways. Honestly he couldn’t be completely sure that he hasn’t slipped into the crushing grip of insanity and that all of this wasn’t all some delirious fever dream. He tried not to think too hard about that possibility but, even if that were the case, it was far from terrible. No, all in all, things could’ve been much worse; that was until a few days ago.

On his way home from work he’d bumped into a mare leaving Sugarcube Corner, a local bakery, and he swore he had smelled toothpaste. She had politely apologized before trotting away, leaving him exceptionally confused and questioning his senses. At first Anon thought he’d imagined the smell but there wasn’t anything in the bakery which could explain the minty and somewhat tangy scent he’d caught a whiff of. The next day while at work he was helping Big Macintosh, Applejack’s brother, lift a crate to the loft in their barn when he picked up the scent of apples. Now, this wouldn’t be odd or unexpected on an apple farm but it’s not the smell which was so strange; it was where it was coming from. The large red stallion reeked of apples and, unless he was bathing in the juice his farm produced, that didn’t make a damn bit of sense. If anything the pony should’ve smelled pretty funky; given he’d worked up a good sweat after a full day of manual labor, but that wasn’t the case. Anon had even leaned in when Mac wasn’t looking to take a sniff and, sure enough, the pony smelled like an apple air freshener.

Between these two experiences he’d started to get pretty suspicious. Ponyville was full of all sorts of refreshing scents and until recently he’d attributed it to the omnipresent greenery, freshly baked goods, and, last but not least, the slightly nonsensical world in which he found himself, although his run in with the weird toothpaste pony and Big Mac’s oddly potent apple odor had brought about an odd notion. Maybe it wasn’t just his environment producing such compelling aromas but the denizens therin. Over the past few days Anon had found himself compelled to investigate with old fashioned olfactory detective work. He’d caught himself subtly inhaling through his nose as ponies passed in close proximity; attempting to discern if they were, in fact, the culprits of the myriad of bouquets assaulting him.

It all came to a screeching halt after a rather embarrassing incident at the Ponyville town hall. He’d gone to ask Mayor Mare if he was expected to pay any sort of non-pony taxes, remembering all too well how relentless the IRS had been that one year when he’d wound up owing Uncle Sam. The kindly pony had asserted that she wasn’t entirely sure and asked him to wait while she went to have her secretary check on the matter. As the elderly mare passed he picked up the unmistakable scent of lightly toasted marshmallows and, in a rather compulsive move, remarked that she smelled lovely. While not outright annoyed by the comment it had clearly flustered the Mayor, causing her to blush and stammer a dismissive thanks before trotting out.

It was at that moment that Anon knew he needed to get checked out by a doctor. Hell, for all he knew this could be some strange alien allergy or, even worse, pastel equines may hold some yet undiscovered narcotic effect on humans. After grappling with the decision on whether he should see himself to the trot in clinic or the veterinarian he’d decided on the former, assuming the ponies may have a tad more medical training than the latter; although he wouldn’t be surprised if they referred him to the vet’s office given that he was not, in fact, a pony.

“So what brought you to our office today Mr. Nonymous?” Nurse Redheart repeated, trotting over to the counter and rummaging about in a drawer beneath it.

“Well I’ve started noticing that ponies have a rather, unique smell to ‘em,” the human replied.

“E...excuse me?” the nurse blurted, turning her full attention back to the human.

“Yea, like, all the ponies I’ve run into have a unique scent and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy or that it’s affecting me somehow,” Anon responded.

“I thought you’d told the princesses that your world had equines?” Red Heart queried, retrieving her clipboard to jot down any pertinent responses.

“Oh yea we’ve got horses and donkeys and stuff but the issue is that they just smell kinda like barn animals,” Anon said, leaning back and recalling his visits to a nearby farm in the human world. “Here all the ponies seem to smell like all sorts of stuff, candies, baked goods, fruits, all kinds of sweets and such.”

“Have you considered the possibility that you’re just picking up background aromas or, perhaps, the hygiene products of these ponies?” the nurse pressed.

“I’m...pretty sure it’s the ponies themselves,” Anon hesitantly replied.

The nurse squinted, her curiosity piqued. “And how is that exactly.”

“I might’ve, well ya know, sniffed a few of ‘em to make sure,” he sheepishly mumbled.

Nurse Red Heart looked askance, eying Anon with a blatant mix of suspicion and mild revulsion on her face. “This...is somewhat troubling,” she commented.

“Yea no shit!” Anon sighed, looking to the floor crestfallen. “It’s bad enough that I’m that weird hairless thing in town so the last thing I want is to be labeled as some wanton pony sniffer.”

“So,” Redheart said, tapping her chin in thought, “you said the ponies smell good right?”

“Well they certainly don’t smell bad,” Anon answered.

“And you haven’t experienced any adverse signs or symptoms in reaction to close proximity to them? Rashes, headaches, disorientation, sneezing, wheezing, anything out of the normal?” the nurse pressed, her medically trained mind attempting to form a prognosis.

“Not that I can remember, no,” Anon replied, scratching his chin.

“Let me take a few vitals before we get too ahead of ourselves,” Red Heart noted, trotting over to the table after having retrieved a stethoscope from the counter. “Just lie on your back for me so I can give you a once over before the doctor sees you.”

“Alrighty,” Anon groaned as he eased himself onto the padded table.

The little pony trotted forward, rearing back and placing her front hooves on the side of the exam table. With practiced precision she flipped the stethoscope in the air, cocking her head and allowing it to fall into place as she caught the diaphragm in her teeth.

“Take a couple of deep breaths for me please,” Redheart instructed. With care she pressed the diaphragm of the instrument to the human’s chest, closing her eyes as she listened to his lungs while he steadily inhaled and exhaled. After a moment she sifted, leaning further over Anon as she went to listen to his heart; in the process her mane crept closer to the humans face.

Subtle notes of cinnamon and cotton candy crept into Anon’s nose as he inhaled, an alluring combination which caused his pulse to quicken.

“That’s...odd,” the nurse commented, “your heart rate just increased. Are you feeling alright?”

“Oh, um, yea. I feel fine,” Anon muttered, blushing just a tad.

“Hmmm,” she hummed, removing the tool from his chest and shuffling closer to his face. “You looked flushed, let me just check your temperature,” she said, placing the tender frog of one forehoof on Anon’s forehead.

Anon noticed something peculiar as she did so; her hoof, while still retaining some of the same olfactory qualities as her mane, had additional floral hints as well as residual traces of antiseptic. The hard rim of her hoof brushed against his crown as the flesh of her frog softly pressed against his flesh; it was warm and, all together, not unpleasant.

“Wait,” Anon blurted, grasping her by the fetlock “I’ve gotta check something.” Moving her foreleg a bit he brought his nose to it and inhaled deeply to confirm his suspicion. Indeed her aroma did seem to vary slightly depending on the physiological location.

“What are you doing?” Redheart asked, tugging lightly to retrieve her leg.

“Your hoof smells different than your mane. It’s kinda similar but there’s a faint difference!” he exclaimed, looking over to the nurse and finding her aghast, her cheeks reddening a bit at the unexpected attention. For some reason she wasn’t looking at his face, her eyes leading to somewhere lower on his body. Following her gaze he realized, with horror, that he’d become a little more excited than he’d first thought; his tented pants a bold testament to his unforeseen arousal.

“Oh damn it!” he shot forward, covering his groin in shame. “I...I’m s...sorry! I didn’t um, FUCK!” he stammered apologetically at the equine nurse.

He genuinely did feel pretty humiliated at the situation. Over the past month he’d caught himself perusing the various mares about town as they trotted about, their plump posteriors unabashedly displayed. It’s not like he had access to any adult material to relieve his growing stress and the additional factor of their captivating balm certainly hadn’t helped matters at all. Now, Anon wasn’t some debased pervert but as the weeks had passed the growing sexual frustration he’d suffered coupled with just how charming and cute a great many of the ponies were was beginning to take its toll. Culminating, it would appear, with popping a boner while receiving a medical exam.

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” Nurse Redheart chuckled nervously, “I’m sure that’s a healthy reaction from a young man like yourself.” To be honest she was a bit flattered by the undue attention, she’d been single now for just over a year and had recently entered her estrus cycle. Maybe it was the way he’d complimented her scent, or the raging cocktail of hormones coursing through her veins, but a devilishly salacious notion crept into her mind.

“This may require some additional investigation,” she continued, pressing him back down onto the table before sidling closer to his face. Leaning in she brought her snout just before the human’s nose. “Just breathe normally please and tell me if you notice anything odd,” she instructed, her breath washing over his nostrils.

Anon closed his eyes, enjoying the somewhat fruity bouquet of her breath as it washed over him; he wasn’t sure but he was reminded of the mild and somewhat exotic lychee berry. “Kinda smells like fruit,” he remarked, looking at her little muzzle hovering just above his nose.

“I see,” Redheart replied, deftly dismounting the table and causing Anon to look in her direction. The white mare whirled in place before flicking her tail onto the human’s chest. “And my tail,” she said, looking back at him, “any unique perfumatory traits?”

Reaching down, Anon ran his fingers through the pink hair of the nurse’s tail; feeling the delicate strands between his digits as he brought them to his face. Interestingly her tail had the most delicate aroma of all, like a touch of cinnamon on a spring breeze through a field. Moving his head he began to take note of something, a much more powerful and earthy odor mingling in with her tail. In a moment of clarity Anon looked over, realizing that the source of the mysterious fragrance seemed to be from the nurse’s nethers.

“If I may,” Anon said, swinging his legs over the side of the table before standing.

“What are yo..Hey!” Redheart squawked as Anon reached down and picked her up before turning back around and gingerly placing her on the exam table on her back. She’d suspected that humans were strong but she was nearly half his size and he’d moved her with relatively little effort. Her hair was a frazzled mess beneath her hat and her chest heaved in excitement. Here she was, a middle aged mare in the middle of her heat laying on an exam table in front of this strange creature. Perhaps it was the realization that Anon was looking down at her but Nurse Redheart became keenly aware that her groin and breasts were fully exposed to Anon. “What are you doing Anon?” she asked, looking up at him with a mix of concern and arousal.

“I have to check something,” Anon huffed, his curiosity slowly shifting to lust as he leaned over the pony. Stroking a rather prominent tuft of fur on her chest, he brought his face down to it; drawing in her tangy scent and caressing his cheek against her. Stroking her sides with his nimble digits, he slowly brought his face lower down her barrel, stopping just short of her two teats. Anon couldn’t help himself as he snaked one hand onto her abdomen, playfully running his fingers across one of her nipples.

Nurse Redheart watched as the man crept closer to her crotch; breathing heavily as her excitement grew. It was just so wrong! Allowing this person, and a human of all things, to touch her in such a way. To make matters worse he was a patient! She bit her lip as Anon moved slightly lower, hesitating before he reached her marehood.

The fragrance was nearly overpowering at this point, a heady mix of sweet and sour musk assaulted his nostrils as he looked down at the pony’s loins. Her sex, a rather prominent rosy color, was rather pronounced and noticeably moistened. The thick lips of her labia were exceptionally inviting, winking reflexively and exposing the mare’s slick and silken inner folds in a display of excitement.

“Y...you know,” Redheart stuttered, “the olfactory and gustatory senses are almost intimately linked.”

“The what now?” Anon asked, looking up at her in confusion.

“Oh for buck’s sake. Here!” the nurse groaned, reaching down and placing a hoof on his head before jamming his face into her crotch.

Anon didn’t need further encouragement, opening his mouth and gliding his tongue along the nurse’s sex. His eyes flew open at the flavor; the closest thing he could compare it to was a type of tangy hard candy of his world. Repositioning himself to the end of the table he wrapped his arms under the pony’s supple thighs as he dug in, savoring Redheart’s juices as they began to dribble down his face and chin.

Redheart moaned, gnawing her hoof as she watched Anon lavish her snatch. The way he caressed her thighs only made the matter that much more thrilling. Ever time he licked her pussy his nose grazed her clit, sending a shiver up her spine. She wasn’t sure if all human males were as skilled at cunnilingus but this one was certainly talented. Her head lolled backward as she lost herself to the sensual ministrations of the man. The way his fingers dug into the tender flesh of her legs, how he delicately kissed and nibbled her marehood, his occasional glance up at her while eating her out. Redheart could feel her pulse quicken, and her breathing grow heavy, as her body steadily crept towards a climax. Arching her back she lightly gyrated her hips, yearning for more. She bit down on her hoof as her legs began to tremble, her orgasmic bliss building to a crescendo. Barely stifling a whorish whimper she came, the muscles in her carnal canal contracting violently as she gushed onto Anon’s face.

The sensation was unbelievable, the creamy maregasm coating Anon’s face and shirt tasted absolutely divine. Her musk flooded his sinuses as her nectar coursed over his tongue, only adding to his own arousal. Releasing one of her thighs he brought his hand down to his pants, undoing the zipper and allowing his member to spring free before he began softly stroking it. He had to remind himself to breathe, his face practically buried in her crotch, but she just tasted so damn good. The absurdity of the situation only added to his arousal but here he was, eating out a tiny pastel equine in a doctor’s office. Anon paused, peeking up at the somewhat bedraggled mare as she looked back down at him.

“W...why’d you stop?” she gasped. Wordlessly the human stood, grabbing the mare’s fetlocks and pulling her rump to the very edge of the table. Her eyes widened as he saw him holding his shaft. It was about the same size as an average stallion’s but the tip seemed a bit less blunt. She watched as he quietly began running over her sex, feeling it rub against her clit and tease her entrance. Redheart looked up and him and nodded, her amorous appetite far from sated.

Stepping forward Anon slowly drove the head of his cock into the mare’s eager folds, feeling the warmth of her velvety confines surround him as he plunged deeper. Anon couldn’t say for certain but he swore that the pony’s snatch felt warmer than any human’s he’d ever had. He nearly bottomed out before he felt the entrance of her womb. Anon closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation for a moment, before opening them again to look down on the mare.

“Everything ok?” Nurse Redheart cooed, looking up at him with heavily lidded eyes.

“Yea, you feel wonderful, I’m just taking a second to savor this,” Anon whispered.

“Never had a mare before?” Redheart asked. Anon shook his head from side to side in response. “Well,” she breathed as a devilish grin crept across her face, “you’re in for a treat.” She clamped down around his shaft, constricting her vaginal muscles rhythmically, and watching as his face contorted in pleasure; his hips automatically bucking slightly at the sensation.

Anon began gently thrusting into the mare, holding her hind legs open and watching as his member plunged in and out of her sopping wet cunt. He threw his inhibitions out the window as he steadily picked up speed, giving in to his base desires to procreate. The only sounds in the exam room were the those of flesh slapping flesh along with the hushed panting and quiet moans of the two, locked their erotic moment.

Readjusting, Anon draped his torso forward, burying his face in Redheart’s mane and knocking her hat to the floor. She wrapped her forelegs around his chest, her hooves pulling him closer and spurning him to plow her that much harder. Anon could feel himself getting close, it had been quite a while since he’d gotten laid and Redheart, while a pony, felt absolutely amazing. If all mares in Equestria were this damn good he’d need to seriously reconsider his sexual standpoint on equines.

“I...I’m getting close,” Anon wheezed.

Redheart looked up at him, feeling another orgasm drawing near herself. Deftly she reached up, wrapping one hoof around his head, and pulled his face to her’s. The mare locked her lips around his, ramming her tongue into his mouth in a passionate kiss.

Anon’s eyes went wide with shock before he blissfully closed them, cradling the nurse’s head as he reciprocated her actions. Their tongues intertwined, the subtle flavor of grass and candy coating anon’s palate. His hips ground forward, pressing the tip of his cock to Redheart’s cervix as he began to cum and, in so doing, pushed the mare to her second orgasm.

Their bodies shuddered as they came in tandem, holding each other in ecstasy. Anon could feel a cocktail of their mingled juices leaking down his leg as his hips jerked fitfully. He was pretty sure that he couldn’t knock up a talking pony so he stayed buried in her depths, depositing his load into the mare. Moments passed and they broke their kiss, looking each other in the eyes and panting heavily.

“So,” Anon sighed, “you treat all your patients this well?”

“H...hardly,” Redheart stammered, beginning to slide herself off the table before Anon gingerly picked her up and sat her down on her hooves. “Thanks,” she said, trotting over to the sink and turning the tap.

“You got any washcloths?” Anon asked, rummaging around in the cabinets.

“Below the sink we’ve got some towels,” the nurse replied, watching as Anon retrieved one and moistened it in the warm water. She went to get one for herself but he stopped her.

“Allow me,” he said, gently scrubbing her fur and working his way to her nethers.

She smiled back at him; it wasn’t every day that a stallion would be so considerate. Redheart had heard that Anon wasn’t a bad guy and this lent that weight. Sure, he may be a little odd but, given the fact that he was basically thrown into an alien world, that was understandable. The two tidied themselves up with Anon helping fix Redheart’s mane in the process.

“Well I think it’s fair to assume your olfactory concerns regarding ponies isn’t anything to worry about,” Redheard snickered. “Although if you’d still like to speak to the doctor you’re more than justified in doing so.”

“Nah,” Anon said, pulling his pants up and fastening them, “I guess you guys just smell nice.”

“Just...don’t go around sniffing ponies alright? It’ll give the wrong impression,” the nurse continued, smiling up at him.

“Oh yea, you got it doc,” Anon chuckled awkwardly.

“Nurse,” she added, pointing to her hat again.

“Right,” Anon noted with a nod as he headed for the door. “Oh hey,” he said, spinning on his heels and turning back towards her, “you doing anything this weekend?”

“Nothing in particular, why?” Redheart asked, organizing the items on the counter.

“You wanna go get a bite Saturday night? Maybe go catch one of Trixie’s shows?” Anon asked, smiling sheepishly as he asked the pony out.

“Uh,” Redheart blushed despite herself, sure she’d succumbed to a wild fling but she hadn’t anticipated he’d actually ask her on a date. “Sure,” she responded, “meet me at the cafe around seven?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Anon mused, shooting her a wink as he made his leave.