Fluttershy Has Cans

by Dandereshy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Angel, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2124

Fluttershy desires the attention of local stallions, and decides to improve her... assets.

Fluttershy knows she's too shy to approach any stallion she holds interest in. What she also knows is that stallions are attracted to physical aspects of mares. So, she employs a new strategy to get herself a mate.

She gets bigger cans.

Published 2018-05-05 19:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-05 19:20:07 UTC

Can You Tell What's Different?

Author's Note

Short little writing exercise. No editor or proofreader. Written on a cellphone. Hope you enjoy!

Can You Tell What's Different?

That was it!

Another Hearts and Hooves Day wandered by, and Fluttershy had yet to be asked out. And of course, she had not the courage herself to go out and seek such attention; instead, she hung out at her cottage, sighing resignedly at the fact that she was alone.

Her efforts to change that fact were to no avail; not the classes, nor the books she'd read from Twilight's enormous library. Here she was, another year of loneliness.

She was growing weary of caring. Weary of trying, weary of waiting, weary of wanting. She had to act, and fast.

But what could she do? It's not like approaching a stallion she held interest in was an option; no, that was something of her wildest fantasies. She had to catch their attention.

Wait... that was it!

Instead of going to them constantly and wasting time figuring out how to overcome her shyness, she'd make them come to her!

But how? What would attract the attention of the stallions in this little town, Ponyville? This is the puzzle she worked out in her mind that day, the one after Hearts and Hooves Day. It was a puzzle alright; she had asked the very same question of Twilight, whom had no reliable ideas to aid the poor, lonesome Pegasus.

And of course, there was Rarity, one of her most trusted friends. She'd made the suggestion to try dressing to "catch the eye," but Fluttershy declined that on grounds that she simply didn't feel comfortable dressing so extravagantly just to stroll and strut around town.

So, at her cottage, she pondered other ways to attract the attention she so desperately desired. How to get a stallion to notice her...

Angel, who had just finished a delightful meal of veggies from a large bowl Fluttershy placed on the floor for him moments before, hopped up onto the sofa beside his friend and master. He watched her in curiosity as she was scribbling notes down on a piece of parchment, further pursuing a resolution to her problem.

Fluttershy broke free from her reverie, peering over at the little bunny beside her. "Oh, Angel. I wish I knew what I could do to get more attention! I just don't know what stallions like..." She sighed heavily. "I may as well resign myself to knowing I'll be alone my whole life..."

Angel rubbed a paw on his chin as he considered her options. Then, he had a brilliant idea. He hopped up and down, making motions with his little paws - on his chest.

Fluttershy furrowed her brow, not understanding what the bunny was getting at. "Um, I don't know what you're trying to say..." She watched him a few seconds longer, then said, "I need to shave my chest?"

Angel face-pawed. He placed a paw on either side of his chest and slowly brought them out, as if whatever was on his chest was... growing.

Fluttershy observed this in confusion. "I need to gain weight?" She scratched the back of her head.

Angel growled. The point was not being received. So, he hopped up onto the back of the sofa, then pointed to some birds up in the birdhouse mounted to the ceiling nearby. They were Willow Tits. He then made a motion as if they should be growing, and exponentially.

Fluttershy finally understood, and as a result, blushed as red as a tomato. "I need bigger... what?!" She covered her mouth with her hooves. "Angel, I can't believe you! That's so very inappropriate!"

Angel nodded, as if it was quite okay with him. He motioned towards the birds and his chest, depicting them growing bigger.

Fluttershy moaned in embarrassment. "Do you... do you really think that will work...?" she asked hesitantly. She didn't want to attempt something so... deviant... if it wasn't going to help.

Angel glared at her and balled his paws. The look said, "Have I ever lied to you?"

"Well... if you think it'll really help... I'll do it..." Fluttershy acceded, lowering her gaze to the floor. "I suppose stallions do kinda like that stuff..."

Angel rubbed his paws together, grinning devilishly. He had just the way Fluttershy could execute this newfound plan.

That very afternoon, with the sun shining brilliantly overhead in the clear, blue, Equestrian skies, Fluttershy trotted into town with her new... assets. Angel had "hooked her up" with the perfect pair. He promised she'd receive attention. But that was yet to be seen, as her day out had just begun.

Her first order of the day was to visit Twilight, showing her she'd found a solution to her stallion problem.

The castle was quiet upon entry, which wasn't unusual. After all, the thing was a labyrinth that even Twilight herself preferred not to wander around aimlessly in. The main corridor was vast and empty, as Fluttershy expected, but that didn't mean Twilight wouldn't be in the castle.

Fluttershy found the stairwell and ascended to the floor with Twilight's bedroom. Hopefully she'd actually be there. If not, there was always the library.

Fluttershy found the bedroom and peeked in through the crack in the door. Twilight didn't seem to be present.

"Guess I'll check downstairs..."

Returning to the ground floor, Fluttershy nearly ran into Twilight, who was just about to ascend the stairs. Luckily, Fluttershy had come down not a moment too late.

"Fluttershy?" Twilight asked, surprised to see her friend there. The previous day, the Pegasus had gone home seemingly depressed and unlikely to show her face for a few days. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes wandered to her chest, and that's where the real confusion began. "What's on your chest?!"

Fluttershy flaunted herself, as Angel had told her to do. On her chest were a pair of empty tomato cans tied to a string looped around the base of her wings to hold them in place.

Fluttershy had cans.

"You like them? I had some work done this morning," Fluttershy said gleefully, a huge, toothy grin plastered to her face.

Twilight couldn't believe her eyes. "Fluttershy... you know those are only cans, right?"

"Oh, they're cans, alright! And they'll help me land a date for the first time. Today!" Fluttershy rubbed them as if they were real, running her hooves along the bottom and pushing them up a couple times.

Twilight groaned. "Whose idea was this? I hope it wasn't yours. Ooh, I bet it was Rainbow Dash. She's the one who had a crush on you, anyways."

"What was that?" Fluttershy asked, suddenly growing serious. She stopped playing with her "cans."

"Nothing," Twilight said flatly. "Fluttershy, please... go get those off. You look rediculous. It'd save you a lot of embarrassment."

"No!" Fluttershy shot back. "These are my greatest assets, and they're going to end my loneliness. You know what I think? I think you're jealous I have bigger cans than you!" Fluttershy grabbed the cans and jiggled them for effect.

Twilight gawked at her in disbelief, her jaw hanging slack. "You're kidding."

Fluttershy shook her head in disappointment. "For shame, Twilight. I expected better of you. Instead of being proud of me for finding an answer to my problem, you question the reality of it and deny your jealousy!"

Twilight was now at a loss for words. She just stood there, mouth agape.

"Oh, um, sorry for the attitude," Fluttershy said quietly, suddenly seeming small. "Angel told me to be a little more feisty..."

"Fluttershy, I highly suggest you go back home and think this through," Twilight said, snapping out of it. "I don't think you're going to get the type of attention for this that you want."

"I made a decision to go with this plan, and I'm sticking to it. So, no-can-do, Twilight." Fluttershy shook her head. "Well, it was good talking to you, but I've got to go... share my assets with town." She giggled nancifully and hurried past the thoroughly confused Twilight, who stood there for a long while after Fluttershy had already left, considering which mental health center she should refer her Pegasus friend to.

On her way to the Carousel Boutique, Fluttershy ran into one of the most attractive stallions in town...

Big Mac.

The beefy, yet reserved Earth Pony was busy carrying some large bags of flour home in a cart he tugged along behind him when Fluttershy hopped into his path, bringing him to an abrupt stop.

At first, he was happy to see her. But then, he noticed... her chest.

"Hi, Big Mac!" Fluttershy gave him a feminine, shy wave with just a forehoof. "Glad to see you."

It took everything Big Mac had not to stare at her tin bosom... but he did anyways. "Uhhhhhhh... Eeyup..." He began to sweat, a bead rolling down over his brow and dripping off his cheek to the ground.

Fluttershy batted her eyes, standing in a rather risque fashion, attempting to woo the stallion before her. "Like what you see? I've improved, haven't I?" She flashed him her most dazzling smile.

Big Mac gulped and shook in his horseshoes. Trying not to laugh was getting harder and harder. It was time to make his leave before he ultimately failed. "E-eeyup. Gotta go." He charged past her before she could even protest.

Fluttershy watched him fleeing down the dirt path towards Sweet Apple Acres and hummed in curiosity. "I guess my cans were too much for him. Oh well. There's more stallions where he came from!" Fluttershy told herself, turning and trotted merrily down the street, her tomato cans bouncing around as she went past a mother mare and her child, whose eyes she immediately covered. The mother gave Fluttershy a dirty look that could scare a crocodile.

Once she reached the Boutique, Fluttershy hoped Rarity could give her further advice on how to show off her new chest. What better pony to ask than the "Queen of Fashion" herself?

The little bell above the door rung, signaling Fluttershy's entrance. She didn't need to go searching for her friend, because luckily for her, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were busy in conversation on a sofa right there in the room with her.

Both ponies glanced over at Fluttershy as she approached them, and both ponies drew back upon seeing what Fluttershy was lugging around.

"Fluttershy, Dear," Rarity said, half-laughing. "Whatever is on your chest? And why, I might add?"

"This is my new-and-improved chest! Isn't it just wonderful?" Fluttershy wriggled her body, making the cans clang together as they shook back and forth.

Rarity and Rainbow exchanged glances.

"Um, Fluttershy, what are you hoping to achieve with those...?" Rarity asked in concern. She could already forsee the embarrassment her friend would have to endure from this, if she hadn't already.

Fluttershy grinned widely. "Gaining attention, of course." She grabbed ahold of either can and squeezed them together, staring down at her prized possessions. "Doing a good job, they are."

Rarity sighed. Of course she'd have to be the one to break it to the poor girl. She stood from the sofa and walked over to Fluttershy. "Sweetie, those aren't going to garner the attention I'm guessing you want to obtain. This is clearly about our conversation the other day, isn't it?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I figured bigger cans is the way to get the most attention."

Rarity stifled a laugh and continued. "Well, I advise you go home and get those off. You look absolutely ridiculous, I'm sorry to say."

"But-"

"No 'buts'," Rarity interjected. "That's not the way to get... um, 'bigger cans' as you said. If you go home and get that silly... set off, I'll help you find a more appropriate way to get a mate. Surely those have not attracted any real attention from anypony."

Fluttershy raised a hoof to protest further, but gave up. She sagged and sighed in defeat. "I suppose you're right. I mean, Big Mac didn't want anything to do with them, it seemed. I think maybe they were too much for him."

Rarity chuckled. "I doubt it, Dear. Now go on, go take those off and come back, okay? I'll be here."

"Okay..." Fluttershy turned and plodded out of the Boutique, dejected, her head down low, ears flat against her head.

Rainbow suddenly stood and fluttered over to the door.

"Where are you going, Dash? We're not done talking here!" Rarity asked in surprise. Where could Rainbow possibly have to go on such short notice?

Rainbow glanced back at Rarity and waggled her eyebrows. "I gotta get another glimpse of those cans before she takes em off."