Intermixture

by NCC Q

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 45474

Alternate timeline from the original My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic!

Long after the Reds and Blues find themselves in a strange world as a result of entering the Epsilon Unit against freelancer agent Carolina's wishes, they are confronted with a new group. They call themselves the Blades of Transcendence Fleet, a group of aliens from the planet Sangheilios very far away from human civilization. Though at first sight looking vicious and ruthless, they are surprised to find that these aliens harbour humans as well, and aren't very vicious. Based on the original My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic! by DarkWing. If you haven't read that yet I suggest you do so.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14163/My-Little-Caboose%3A-Blue-is-Magic%21

Here are the characters I am introducing:

Tivos 'Xydosee: A Sangheili Supreme Commander of the Blades of Transcendence and former high ranking officer of the covenant military before the Great Schism. He led a successful career in the Covenant under the arm of his brother, Kerzon 'Fal Xytranai, as Kerzon's right hand man. Tivos is a capable leader and warrior, he prides himself on his knowledge of how Covenant technology works and he is a good technician.

Kerzon 'Fal Xydosai: From the moment Kerzon could stand, he was trained by his father, Turius 'Xytranai, in the ways of a warrior along with one of his younger brothers, Ripa 'Xytranai. Kerzon served as a General in the Crusading Spirit Fleet until he was promoted and was given command of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet. He is now the Sangheili Imperial Admiral and supreme leader of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet. He led his Covenant fleet into battle against the humans until the Great Schism, where he assisted in the slaughter of the brutes and prophets on the human's side, and met his best friend Spartan Dixon L-23, Little Sin. Kerzon is a great leader when he needs to be, and is one of the most experienced swordsman and martial artists of his age. His head is mysteriously on fire due to an event with his father and his flaming head remains his life source.

Little Sin: A UNSC human soldier of the Spartan II project by the name of Dylan Dixon. Dylan Dixon served in the United Earth Space Core since the age of 6, when he was abducted by ONI and immediately put threw intense martial and weapons training. By the age of 14, he was severely augmented with drugs to enhance his strength, intelligence, damage resistance, reflexes, and overall stamina, and was genetically altered to be the 'perfect soldier' along with the other Spartan II's. Something went wrong with his augmentation and genetic enhancements, however, and he was given strange fourth wall breaking powers. Because of these powers, his fellow Spartans nicknamed him 'The Little Sin'. Little Sin is a close quarters combat specialist and prefers to work with UNSC shotguns, though he customized and created his own personal shotgun, the AA-14 Semi-Auto. When he was old enough, he was given tan coloured Mark V armour and his Spartan designation, Spartan Dixon L-23.

Tody: Imperial Zealot Tody 'Kingovee was born from a Zealot father, which automatically made himself a Zealot. From the moment he could stand, he was trained in the ways of a leader and a combatant. When he was old enough, he was immediately given the rank of Clerical Zealot and assigned to the Blades of Transcendence Fleet, where he served under Imperial Admiral Ayven 'Octuree until 'Octuree was killed and Kerzon replaced him as the Imperial Admiral. King Tody was Promoted to Imperial Zealot by Kerzon shortly after his arrival, and has a reputation for being too serious and sarcastic. Tody is widely hated by Tivos 'Xytranee.

Eyha 'Ohsolee: An Honour Guard Ultra of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet. He served as one of the prophet's personal guards along with his friend Enolc 'Relikee. When the Brutes took control of the Covenant Imperial Guard, he was demoted to a Fleet Security Officer, where his life was almost ended several times by the Brutes during the Great Schism. He joined the Blades of Transcendence Fleet and was promoted back to Honour Guard Ultra, where he would become one of Kerzon 'Xytranai's personal guards, and one of his best.

Enolc 'Relikee: Was a covenant Ascetic, a high ranking supreme leader of the Imperial Guard and high ranking officer in the Covenant. Enolc was one of the Hierarchs's best guards, and was held in very high regard by the Hierarchs and accompanied them in many diplomatic situations as their best. When the Brutes took control of the Covenant Imperial Guard, he was demoted to a Fleet Security Officer, where his life was almost ended several times by the Brutes during the Great Schism. He joined the Blades of Transcendence Fleet and was promoted back to Ascetic, where he would become one of Kerzon 'Xytranai's personal guards, and one of his best.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-12 03:20:41 UTC

Promethean Equilibrium II

"Dude, that is so dick." Little Sin said.

"I know, right? How could somebody disrespect me like that?"

"No, I meant carving your name........... nevermind. You're a dumbass."

"Whatever dude. You're just jealous that you don't have a suave ass ship like this."

"Or am I?" Little Sin quickly drew his UNSC magnum from its magnetic holster and fired a shot at Admiral Kerzon's face, only to be deflected be two spherical energy shields that the Admiral's Honour Guards deployed instantly.

"Step any closer and I will end your life, Little Sin." Enolc 'Relikee said. Than Eyha 'Ohsolee spoke up. "Wouldn't want to stick you in the rape corner now, would we?"

"Calm your balls. I knew you guys would save him. That's why I shot him in the first place. Just keepin' your skills sharp." Little Sin said smugly. He looked around to notice that every Sangheili on the bridge was now viciously staring at him, Supreme Commander Tivos especially.

Little Sin did a combat roll and began firing his duel wield magnums at Kerzon's crew. By the the time he was finished everybody was dead accept for Kerzon, Tivos, Enolc, and Ehya. Although there was a bullet next to Tivos's head that had just missed. "Fuck. I'll get him next time." Little Sin said to himself.

"Your a dick." Kerzon said flatly.

"Woo!" Little Sin cheered.

"Ascetic Enolc 'Relikee, man the Nav station. Honour Guard Eyha 'Ohsolee, man the Communications station. Little Sin, man the tactical station. And Supreme Commander Tivos, man the engineering station. Thanks for killing my bridge crew you fag."

"Admiral, we're approaching Sangheilios." Tivos said from his command post.

"Take us out of slipspace, engage Reputer Whatever-The-Fucks."

"Disengaging slipstream drive, engaging Repulsor engines, aye Admiral." The Ascetic said. I small jolt could be felt as the ship exited slipspace and slowly approached Sangheilios.

"I'm confident in my men that they can handle their posts, but do you know how to operate a tactical station, Little Sin?"

"Fuck yeah I do. Firin' myself some guns."

"Alright, cool. Now lets get this show on the road. Little Sin, power up the guns."

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing." He activated the ships weapons systems.

"Enolc, bring us into a low pass of the surface."

"Yes, Admiral."

A beeping sound could be heard from Eyha's communications console. "There is a BTF Destroyer approaching us. They are opening a comm channel."

"A starship from the fleet? This far from the rally point?" Tivos asked.

"Answer them I guess." Admiral Kerzon was growing impatient.

"Sorry Kerzon, but I can't let you do what you're doing." A familiar voice came from the communications channel. It was a Sangheili they all knew. His name was Tody. He was a BTF Imperial Zealot with gold zealot armour.

"Tody?" The Admiral paused. "Why the fuck not? You're the leader of my zealots. I am ordering you to stand down, bitch."

"I'm working with the the Kaidon of the State of Katar. He has some zealous warriors that he would be willing to give to our fleet in exchange for some resources. I don't know exactly what you are up to, but you are approaching a low pass of Katar territory and you have your weapons systems charged. I am doing this for the good of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet. If you don't stop I will have to take action."

"What kind of action? You wouldn't kill me." Kerzon said.

"No, but I could disable your ship." Tody said.

"Your driving a fucking destroyer. You could do some damage, but I'm in a COS class Supercarrier. I highly doubt that you can do shit."

"I assure you that I-"

"Tell me Tody, how many people are on your destroyer?" The Admiral interrupted.

"Just me. I'm operating this ship on my own."

"Well. In that case-" The Admiral looked over to Eyha and gestured him to close the comm channel.

"Wha-" Tody was cut off by the closing of the channel.

The Admiral spoke up again. "Little Sin, my ship has an emergency matter-energy transportation device integrated into it. It should be accessable threw your tactical terminal. Transport Tody onto the bridge."

"Okay. Beep boop bop beep boop." Little Sin began to push a series of buttons which caused a flash of light to occur behind Kerzon's command chair. After the light diminished, there stood another high ranking Sangheili. It was Tody.

"What-"

Little Sin looked at Kerzon 'Xytranai with begging eyes. Knowing what he was thinking, Kerzon gave another order.

"Little Sin, target the destroyer and power up that one thing we were talking about earlier." Kerzon looked back at Tody with a maniacal smile threw his mandibles. "What was it called? Oh yes. The Bass Cannon. Power up the Bass Cannon."

"Yes!" Little Sin said gleefully.

He pressed a series of buttons and the bridge started to rattle. Mechanical clings and clangs could be heard along with electronic hums from outside of the room's bulkheads. The noises persisted for about 30 seconds as the massive Bass Cannon constructed itself and positioned itself outside of the ships' main hull. The sounds stopped and all that remained was an ambient hum.

"Ready." Little Sin said excitedly.

The Admiral stood up from his command chair and paused.

"Fire!" He yelled.

Little Sin slammed down on a read button and the unexpected happened. A supercharged beam of hypersonic dubstep bass exploded out of the cannon with unimaginable power as it atomized any trace of the destroyer Tody rode in on.

"My ship! What did you do to my ship!?" Tody yelled.

Admiral Kerzon simply walked up to the human and looked him in the eyes.

"You just got Kerz-owned." He said quietly. He turned to face everybody else. "Alright, lets get this show on the road."

Suddenly Tody charged towards Kerzon and attempted to tackle him to the ground. Kerzon took notice of Tody's charge and flew up to the ceiling using his jet pack. He gripped his sword and drew it. Plasma shot out of the grip frantically and materialized into a superheated blade. Enolc and Eyha were ready to intervene but knew that Kerzon would not appreciate that.

"I wouldn't." Kerzon said confidently. Tody grabbed a dirty conduit rag he found in his tactical soft case and jumped up for Kerzon's perch near the ceiling. Kerzon swung his sword at Tody but missed. Tody planted the rag on Kerzon's head in an attempt to smother his flame head. Normally his flame would have incinerated the material on contact, but the rag was soaked in all kinds of residue from Tody's destroyer's drive core conduits.

Kerzon yelled and pulled the rag off to notice that his flame was gone. He disengaged his jet pack and fell to the floor, his sword falling with him.

"Kerzon!" Little Sin yelled. He ran over to King Tody. "Quick, knock me out." He said.

"Why?"

"Just knock me out. Seriously, just punch me in the face, right now."

"Um.... okay."

King Tody punched Little Sin in the face and knocked him to the floor. A cloud of confetti exploded out of Little Sin's armour as a distinctly adolescent "Yay" could be heard. And suddenly something odd happened. A deep voice came from the communictions speakers on the bridge.

"DOUBLE KILL!" It said. Kerzon's eyes snapped open, but his eyes were blue and they were glowing brightly. His flame suddenly ignited again. Accept this time, it was blue and bright.

He engaged his jetpack and lifted off the ground as the sword he wielded lifted off the floor and shot into his hand, where he drew it for a second time.

"Nobody gets a multi-kill on KERZON!" He screamed with a bellowing and distorted voice.

Little Sin, awoken but dazed, reacted fast and ran up to Kerzon who was raging in blue flames. Kerzon started slowly flying towards Tody until Little Sin held him back. "Kerzon, pull yourself together, you idiot. If you start raging over this shit than we're not gonna win. Calm your balls or else I'm gonna have to call a No Die Mode."

Suddenly, flashes of memory regarding Kerzon's and Little Sin's past began shooting threw Kerzon's mind, distracting him from his goal of killing King Tody. Deep memories of their past friendship.

They were together on a team, Kerzon and Little Sin. Fighting a common enemy. But their enemy kept evading them, taking them both down. Kerzon became enraged by the multiple set-backs they were encountering. Little Sin spoke those exact words he had just said to Kerzon on the Promethean Equilibrium, it suppressed his rage and they pulled themselves together and took down their enemy.

Suddenly Kerzon lowered himself to the floor. His eyes returned to normal and his flame turned back to a bright glowing yellow-orange.

"What the-" Tody started.

"Honestly dude, Kerzon's flame is not something to be fucked with. I've learned this on several occasions. Don't try to understand it, just accept that his flame is fucked up in so many ways and there is really nothing you can do about it."

"What the fuck?" Kerzon started. "Wait, did you put out my flame?"

"No, he didn't." Little Sin started.

"Actually-" Tody started but Little Sin turned and gave him a glare as he reached to grab his shotgun.

"Whatever. Let's burn my name into this shit so I can hit a bar." He said. He turned and saw that everybody in the room was staring at him. "What the fuck is going on here? Chop chop."

Accident

Everybody resumed their positions as the Imperial Admiral sat back in his command chair.

"We are within range to complete the mission." Enolc said.

Kerzon nodded to his Ascetic and moved up to the tactical station.

"Get the fuck out, Sin." He said bluntly.

"No hoes in my town." Little Sin quietly muttered to himself.

"Alright! Let's get this shit done!" Admiral Kerzon 'Xytranai said enthusiastically. He sat down and calibrated the manual targeting and firing system to a clearing in the State of Katar. He pressed a control that engaged an aiming reticle on the view screen.

He looked at the view screen and narrowed his eyes at the sight of the clearing.

"Catch-phrase." He said in a purposely deepened voice. He then slammed his fist into the fire control and began aiming his manual targeting system as the energy projector powered up.

In the process of charging, the energy projector malfunctioned and powered down. Kerzon's tactical console exploded in his face and he was knocked on the floor. He got up and regained his balance as the bridge started to shake rapidly and random consoles started to spark. The lights in the room started to flicker and the ship started to malfunction.

"What the fuck is going on with my ship?" Kerzon exclaimed.

Tivos looked at his readouts and looked back at Kerzon. "We're experiencing a ship-wide systems failure. Everything is going crazy!" He yelled over the rumbling and shaking of the ship. Tivos looked back at his readouts and stood up in shock.

"What is it?" Tody asked.

"Our slipspace drive must be malfunctioning. It is spinning up on its own."

"So? We've done that like a million times." Eyha said. "Who cares?"

"You don't understand. We are making a slipspace jump, but the external inertial dampeners are still online and active. Regularly we wouldn't be able to make a jump if they were active. They are sort of like parking breaks. There is no telling what could happen if the ship were to jump with the EIDs still online. We could be torn apart, or we could be teleported into oblivion. Slipspace is a very delicate procedure, and although we take it for granted because its a reliable technology, small things like the external inertial dampeners still being online could end up being really bad."

"So what do we do? Sit here on our asses and die?" Little Sin said.

"Yep." Kerzon said back to him, trying to get him aggravated.

"Shut up, bitch." He said back.

"If I were you guys, I'de hold on tight. We are about to jump!" Tivos exclaimed over the frantic noise. Kerzon sat snug in his command chair while Little Sin prepared himself at tactical. Eyha and Enolc braced themselves as Tivos held onto his chair tightly. Tody had nowhere to sit so he went over to a support column and held on for dear life.

Suddenly the ship started to accelerate. The bow sparked with glowing light-blue as it began to punch into slipspace. The hull started to creak and screech as the structural integrity was compromised. The bridge was shaking to a point where the Sangheili and the Human could not even stand.

The blue sparks on the bow soon expanded into a massive portal large enough for a COS class SuperCarrier to enter. The ship began to enter slipspace and the crew began to yell as the ship was shaken apart. The intense shaking persisted for a few minutes as the ship's structural integrity weakened more and more. The ship was on the verge of ship-wide structural failure when the slipspace drive began to shut down. The ship exited slipspace suddenly and the system failures stopped. A large jolt could be felt as the ship decelerated into normal space. Everybody was sent slightly forward as Tody could be seen flying across the bridge doing cartwheels in mid air, only to collide with the view screen at the front of the bridge.

Everybody got up and looked at the view screen, which was still offline.

"Report." Kerzon ordered.

Enolc got out of his chair and looked at Kerzon. "Well, this is a fucktastrophy."

"What are you talking about? Fucktastrophies only happen in my bed."

Enolc proceeded to point his finger in various directions. "Well, the engines are over there, the slipspace drive is over there, the bridge is right here, and the rest is somewhere in this section...... or something."

They all heard a quiet, strained voice from the front of the bridge. "Ugh." Tody said as he struggled to get on his feet. Everybody ignored him and proceeded to find out what was going on.

Tivos sighed. "All systems are coming back online, don't listen to Enolc's sarcasm." The view screen came back online and a bright light shined through.

Tivos went over to the sensor station to get their bearings. "Admiral, we are in a planetary atmosphere. I'm reading vegetation, fauna, I'm even reading towns and cities. There is intelligent life down there.

Suddenly the weapons systems came online again and the tactical console snapped on. A soft humming noise could be heard as the energy projector began to charge again.

"The guns are back on." Little Sin said.

"Bow chicka bow wow. Wait, what's that noise?"

"The energy projector is back online and its about to fire." Little Sin said calmly.

"Bow chicka bow wow..... wait, so there's life down there, right?"

"Yes." Tivos said warily.

Kerzon looked back to Little Sin, who was now dry humping his tactical console for no reason. "I wanna be with you!" Little Sin sang. "Make belief with you! Homoney homoney!" Little Sin noticed Kerzon staring at him. "What?" He said.

"Well?" Kerzon said in response.

"What?"

"Intelligent life? Cities? Towns?"

"What do you want from me, you douche bag?"

"Turn off the fucking super laser dumbass!" Kerzon said.

"Ask nicely." Little Sin said smugly

"Please fuck yourself with a rusty machete, now do what I say."

Little Sin sighed deeply. "Okay." He disengaged the energy projector and powered down the ships weapons systems. The humming stopped.

Kerzon sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Do you know what planet we're on? Looking at the view screen I can already tell its not Sangheilios."

"No. I haven't the least bloomin' clue where we are." Tivos said.

"Shut up." Little Sin directed towards Tivos.

"Where is the closest town?" Kerzon asked.

"About a kilometre and a half north from here." Enolc said after looking at his readouts.

Kerzon glanced at the door at the back of the bridge, and then back at the view screen.

"Little Sin, Tody, Enolc, Tivos, Eyha. Get your shit together, we are taking a phantom down to the ground. Time for some first contact."

They all went to the small storage crate at the back of the bridge. The only two who actually got anything were Little Sin and Kerzon.

Little Sin grabbed an extra shotgun, a standard UNSC 8 gauge, as Kerzon swapped out the sword he currently had equipped for another sword, his own personal energy sword that he named Koir'Sang. They all headed threw various corridors and elevators before arriving at the ship's first starboard hanger bay. They loaded up onto one of the phantoms, the rest loaded into the fuselage as Kerzon piloted the troop carrier. He powered up the phantom's anti-gravity engines and took off.

Rainbow Dash brought Tucker close to the ground and dropped him off, Tucker barely managing to land on his feet. "Easy there Dash."

"Your wings better heal quick, because I don't like the idea of always having to carry you."

"I'm sure your opinion on that will change later." Tucker said, laughing.

"In your dreams." Rainbow Dash said. "C'mon, let's go try and find the others."

"You make me feel as if you don't want to be alone with me." Tucker said. "But I know you do. Nobody can resist Dr. Love for long."

"Have your balls healed yet?" Rainbow Dash asked, bending over and started putting on a fake, seductive demeanor.

"Yeah, they totally work now." Tucker said, excitedly walking up behind her.

"Good."

Rainbow Dash then kicked Tucker in the balls and started to walk away.

"Oh fuckberries." Tucker groaned. "My fuck berries!"

"I warned you not to say anything. Now let's go before you dig yourself into an even deeper hole."

"I-I don't think I can walk." Tucker said. "Can you carry me?"

"No." Rainbow Dash said, still walking.

"Ah well. You can't blame a guy from trying." Tucker said.

Tucker then stood up, holding his manhood and started limping after Rainbow Dash. It took them several minutes to get to the market, mostly due to the fact that Tucker kept falling to the ground moaning. But when they got there, they spotted Applejack among the crowd.

"Hey, there’s some of them now." Rainbow Dash said.

"Fantastic." Tucker moaned.

"Hey! There's Rainbow Dash." Pinkie exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash! We're over here."

"Hey Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said, walking up to them. "What are you guys doing?"

"What's wrong with Tucker?" Caboose asked.

Rainbow Dash turned and looked at Tucker, raising her eyebrow.

"I fell down some stairs." Tucker said quietly.

"I hate when that happens." Caboose said. "I was thinking about getting one of those magic chairs that move up and down the side of the steps."

"No, I think I've done enough falling for now." Tucker said.

"Glad to hear it." Rainbow Dash said.

Sarge looked at Tucker and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Tucker asked.

"You didn't fall down stairs, did you Tucker?" Sarge asked, still laughing.

Tucker didn't answer, he just glanced at Rainbow Dash, which made Sarge laugh even harder.

"I think I'm liking her already." Sarge said, wiping a tear out of his eye.

"Want to know what? Fuck you Sarge." Tucker grunted.

"I'm willing to bet that that was an ironic choice of words there blue." Sarge said with a smirk.

"Calm down you two." Applejack said, walking between Sarge and Tucker, expecting a fight.

"Don't worry, I'm calm." Sarge assured her. "And I'm willing to bet that Tucker doesn't have much fight left in him at the moment."

"You got that right." Tucker said.

"What are you two tal-" Applejack started to ask.

Sarge just smiled and motioned his head to Tucker. Applejack looked at Tucker, who was cradling his crotch. Then she looked at Rainbow Dash who was glaring at Tucker. Applejack started to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"You don't want to know." Sarge said.

"Come on y'all. Let's go find the others." Applejack said.

"Okay!" Caboose yelled.

"Let's go check on Grif, I need to make sure I didn't hurt him." Sarge said. "Too much."

"Alright, Fluttershy’s place it is." Pinkie Pie said, starting towards the cottage.

It took just a couple minutes to make it there. Tucker started to feel a little better along the way and stopped groping himself. Applejack knocked on the door and Fluttershy answered.

"Hello Applejack." Fluttershy said, letting her in. "Oh, you brought everyone else?"

Pinkie, Caboose, Sarge and Big Mac walked into the room

"Everyone else?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, Twilight and Rarity are here with Church and Simmons."

Sarge looked over at Grif, and Grif glared back at Sarge.

"Nice to see you too soldier." Sarge chirped happily. "Feeling better?"

"Not particularly." Grif muttered, then looked around. "This room is fucking crowded."

"He has a point." Rainbow Dash said. "How about the guys stay in here and we go outside for a little privacy, I need to talk to you girls anyways."

"Oh alright." Twilight said.

The ponies then left the room, leaving Big Mac and the other stallions in the room.

"Who is the big guy?" Church asked.

"This is Big Mac." Sarge said. "He works on the farm with Applejack."

"He is tall and red." Caboose said.

"Yes Caboose, we can see that." Church muttered.

Tucker stood there awkwardly, trying to get in a comfortable position. "What's wrong with Tucker?" Simmons asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tucker muttered.

"Rainbow Dash kicked him in the balls." Sarge said, barely containing his laughter.

The others looked over at Tucker, who then gave an ashamed nod. They all started laughing. All of them but Tucker.

"I hate you guys." Tucker said.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Grif asked, now sitting up on the couch.

"I sort of... maybe... walked in on her in the shower." Tucker said.

"Was she naked?" Caboose asked.

"They're always naked you fucking idiot." Tucker responded.

"Oh my gosh you're right." Caboose gasped. "Hey Tucker! You said I would never see a girl naked!"

"Caboose. Be quiet." Church commanded.

"Okay."

"Why did you go in the room?" Simmons asked. "Because if you didn't know she was in there then that’s not that bad."

"I knew she was in there." Tucker said.

"You're a fucking pervert." Church said.

"No dude, I knew she was in there, but I had left the room when she started so when I came back to the room I didn't hear anything." Tucker said. "I thought she was done."

"So you thought that the best idea was to barge in?" Church asked.

"I don't know!" Tucker said. "I wasn't thinking, you have to believe me!"

"Don't worry Tucker, we know that you don’t think." Grif said, laughing.

"Thank you." Tucker said, then glared at Grif. "Screw you Grif."

Rainbow Dash led the girls far from Fluttershy’s home, stopping by a tree.

"Why did you bring us all the way out here Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

"We could have just as well talked in a different room of Fluttershy’s home." Rarity said.

"I brought you here so the others wouldn't hear me." Rainbow Dash said.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and let out a sigh. "Tucker came into my bathroom when I was coming out of the shower." Rainbow Dash said, avoiding eye contact.

Each of the girls gave a slight gasp.

"Is that why he was holding his, er... area?" Rarity asked.

"Yes. Well no." Rainbow Dash said. "That wasn't until later."

"What happened then?" Fluttershy asked

"When he opened the door I instinctively kicked him in the face." Rainbow Dash said.

"And then what did you do next?" Twilight asked.

"Then I closed the door and dried up." Rainbow Dash said.

"That's it?" Applejack said. "Even I woulda done more than that."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rainbow Dash asked bluntly.

"Well, you aren't exactly the most docile of ponies Dash." Rarity said.

Rainbow Dash was about to retort that statement, then she sighed and stared at the ground, contemplating what to say. After a couple minutes of silence one of them spoke up.

"You like him, don't you Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

"What?" Rainbow Dash said quickly. "No way!"

"It is okay to like him Rainbow Dash." Twilight said, smiling. "He seems like a fun stallion."

"I do not like him! He is arrogant and seems to think that everyone will like him if they meet, he can't take no for an answer, and he is just so... so..." Rainbow Dash said.

"So much like you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes. No. I mean he is pretty cute but-" Rainbow Dash started. But after she said that she brought her hooves to her mouth and her eyes opened wide and the girls stared at her.

"So ya think he's cute?" Applejack said, smiling.

"Please don't tell Tucker I said that." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"Why? Are you ashamed?" Twilight asked.

"No, I'm not ashamed." Rainbow Dash said, letting out a sly smile. "I don't want you to tell him because he called it and I have a feeling I would never hear the end of it."

All of the girls started to laugh.

"Besides, I need to make sure that he likes me too before I say anything." Rainbow Dash said.

"That sounds... reasonable, I guess." Twilight said.

"Do you all promise not to tell Tucker?" Rainbow Dash asked.

All the girls replied with a quick nod.

"Thank you." Rainbow Dash said, now laughing. "Let's get back there and make sure they haven’t done too much damage."

The girls then made their way back to Fluttershy’s home and opened the door to find all the stallions, including Big Mac, on the floor laughing. All of them except for Tucker who was standing still, glaring at them, but with a smile.

"What's going on in here?" Applejack asked.

"If you guys say anything I will kill you all." Tucker muttered.

"Say anything about what?" Twilight said, smiling as she already knew the answer to the question.

Tucker noticed her expression and sighed, assuming that Rainbow Dash told the others.

"You're an undeniable bitch, you know that?" Tucker asked.

"You love it." Rainbow Dash said, smirking. Tucker smiled and shook his head.

"So Sarge, I see you got your cutie mark." Twilight noted.

"Yeah, but uh, can we call it something more manly?" Sarge said uncomfortably. "Cutie mark doesn't sound right to me. It reminds me too much of Donut."

"How about we just call it your mark." Applejack said.

"Speaking of that, what did you even do to get it?" Rarity asked.

"I kicked a stallion in the stomach." Sarge said smugly.

"Why am I not even surprised?" Church asked.

"Hey, he had it coming." Sarge grunted. "He disrespected Applejack and Big Mac. I wasn't about to go and let some weakling walk away after he insulted them."

"Some stallion? Do you mean Grif?" Simmons asked.

"No, I kicked Grif after when I saw him at the market." Sarge said.

Simmons and Church looked over at Grif.

"You actually went to the market?" Church asked.

"That's not important. You actually helped someone do something?" Simmons asked.

Grif just smiled lazily and shrugged.

"I would say that you are an asshat, but the opposite seems to be the case here." Church said.

"I prefer butthat." Caboose said.

"We know Caboose."

"If you guys don't mind, I kind of want to sleep." Grif said, rolling on his side. "I have been up for way too long."

"Now that he mentions it, it is getting rather late." Rarity said.

"I agree." Applejack said. "We need to wake up bright n' early to finish buckin' the last of the apple trees."

"I guess we'll be on our way then." Twilight said, walking towards the door. "Goodbye everypony."

All of the ponies then exited Fluttershy's home and started parting when they heard a strange noise in the distance. It was loud and sounded like some sort of explosion. They all looked in the distance to see a massive, dark blue orb form in the southern sky. They all ran back towards Fluttershy's home.

"Fluttershy! Grif! Something is happening out here! Come out, quick!" Twilight yelled.

Fluttershy and Grif came to the door and quickly and opened it. "What the hell was that sound?" Grif said.

Fluttershy and Grif gasped when they looked past the others to see something emerging from the orb. They all turned around to witness a massive metallic object come out of the orb. Once it had fully emerged, the orb closed behind the object with a hiss. It was huge.

"What is it?" Applejack said in shock.

"Hey, that looks like one of those things that command uses." Tucker said.

"You mean like a space ship?" Simmons replied.

"A what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm sure you guys are familiar with boats, right?" Simmons said.

"Yes." Pinkie said.

"Well a space ship is like a boat, but it travels threw space. They can go really fast too. A matter of fact-"

"It's so big." Grif said in awe.

"Should we fly up and check it out?" Tucker added.

"I agree with Tucker for once, I think we should. that thing looks like it could be bad. We should scout it to make sure it's not dangerous." Rainbow Dash agreed.

Suddenly a strange sound could be heard travelling upward in pitch, it was coming from the massive object. They all watched as a ball of energy formed out of a hole on the bottom of the giant machine. It grew larger and brighter as as the sound moved very high in pitch.

"This doesn't seem good at all!" Rarity shouted over the noise.

"It looks like its about to shoot a laser!" Tucker yelled.

At the last moment, when the ball seemed to reach it's peak, it disappeared and the sound faded away.

"What n' tarnation was that?" Applejack exclaimed.

"I don't know, didn't look much like a friendly gesture though." Sarge grunted.

More Aliens For You To F***

More Aliens For You To F***

The group watched as a tiny object exited the massive metallic ship in the southern sky and moved closer and closer to Ponyville.

"What the fuck is that?" Grif asked.

"How would we know, idiot." Sarge grunted.

"It seems to be travelling really fast towards us." Twilight said. Nobody cared to answer Grif.

As the object got closer it's shape and colour could be deciphered.

"It looks like something that the alien who impregnated you would use." Church said to Tucker.

"What?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Long story." He said flatly.

The object slowed down as it approached Ponyville, and then changed direction. It was now heading for the group.

"Oh shit. I think we should go inside now." Church said warily.

"And then we can all make fun of Tucker's dumplings again!" Caboose added.

Everybody started moving inside when Twilight spoke up. "Wait. I think we should stay out here."

"What? That thing could be dangerous." Rarity said.

"I don't think so, Rarity. Think about it. Who ever, or whatever is inside that thing obviously is a very powerful being. The fact that that huge thing in the sky is even there supports that. They built it, and what happened with that big ball of light that formed under it... something tells me that it meant to kill. Don't ask me why, its just a hunch. Yet whatever it was, they stopped it. I have a feeling that if they really did want to hurt us, we wouldn't be here right now."

Sarge walked up to Twilight and turned to face the others, wearing a determined expression. "Nobody scares of Sarge." He said calmly.

The others looked at each other and decided to join them.

"So what d' We do? Just wait fer it t' come?" Applejack asked.

"I guess so." Twilight said.

The object produced a ghostly noise, a noise which could be heard louder and louder as the object made it's way towards the group. It slowed down as it approached and came to a full stop once it was almost above them.

"It looks so pretty." Caboose said

Twilight turned to see ponies gathering around the hill that housed Fluttershy's home, all staring in awe.

"Holy shit." Tucker said slowly.

The object was a large, 106 foot aircraft. It was a blueish-purple on the topside of the craft and was a metallic silver on the bottom. There were blue lights plastered all over he aircraft and there was a hole in the bottom of the aircraft. The group gasped as a light blue field started to form out of the hole in the bottom of the object, soon after of which a smaller object slowly descended from. It was a large yellow biped, it looked like a miniature dragon without wings.

It looked around threw it's black, small eyes to see ponies all over the pace.

"Wait a second, are you one of the covenants?" Church said.

"What the crap?" The huge biped said in confusion. "Did you just talk?"

'Oh shit, I forgot that we are fucking horses.' Church thought to himself.

"I'm Church, Leonard Church." He said. "Um..... your probably confused about why there are talking horses all over the place. I honestly reacted the same way when I first came here. So...... how did you get here."

"I fail to see how this is even possible. I've been to Earth many times and I've never seen a horse.... Nevermind. I really don't know so I'll leave all the technical stuff for Tivos to explain. I'm Tody, do you mind explaining what is going on here?"

"Well Tody, I don't know if you know what the Alpha artificial intelligence is, but-"

"Wait, how would you know about the Alpha?" Tody questioned.

"Because I am the Alpha's memory. I'm Epsilon."

Tody paused and stared at him. "But...... You're a-"

"Horse?" Church said. "Not entirely. My... friend.... Caboose over here entered the Epsilon unit, we followed him through and ended up here. We have no idea where this place is, but it's ruler turned us into horses, and since then we've lived here with the citizens, who are horses. We were originally human though, well not me of coarse, but you know."

King Tody paused. "Mhm." He looked up into the troop aircraft. "you guys can come down now. It's safe."

"There's more of you?" Tucker asked.

"Lots more. I'm sure you've managed to get a good look at Kerzon's ship over there. There are thousands aboard it."

Little Sin descended down the lift, followed by Enolc, then Eyha, then Kerzon, then Tivos. The reds, blues, and girls were suddenly surprised when the towering Sangheili warriors started coming down.

"Ponies!?" Little Sin squealed. "Holy shit man! That one looks so cute!" He ran over to Caboose, picked him up, and hugged him. The girls moved backwards a little, frightened by the super soldier's charge.

A red pony jumped up and grabbed the UNSC shotgun off of Little Sin's back and looked at it. "Is this what I think it is?" He exclaimed in excitement, only to have it taken away abruptly. "Don't touch my extra shotgun!"

Sarge growled and shared a death stare with Little Sin. It was soon broken up by Applejack. "Now you two settle yerselves down now, don't want no one gettin' hurt here." She said nervously.

Twilight noticed the flames engulfing Kerzon's head. "Uhm-" She started, looking at Kerzon. Kerzon looked back at her and raised his brow. Fear shot threw her as the hulking warrior looked down at her. "Your head's on fire." She said.

"And your a talking Earth-horse." He said in response.

"She's not an earth pony, silly! She's a unicorn! I'm an earth pony!" Pinkie said, bouncing around Kerzon, no longer intimidated by him.

"Hey! Back away from the Admiral!" Enolc said, drawing his energy sword and moving in front of Admiral Kerzon in a defensive posture. Almost immediately Ehya followed and was standing with a drawn energy sword beside Enolc.

"Pinkie! Get over here!" Twilight called in fear. Pinkie stopped and walked towards her.

"Uh... guys, they are colourful four foot high earth...uh ... ponies. I don't think you really have to get defensive."

"But Admiral-"

"Take the day off, dude." Enolc and Eyha withdrew the plasma from their swords and set them back on their holsters.

Grif's eyes shot open in realization "Tucker! More aliens for you to fuck!" He started laughing.

"Fuck you." Tucker said, now snapped out of his train of thought.

Kerzon looked at Grif. "Nice try, yellow one-

"Orange god dammit."

"Your yellow in my book, asshole. Now just a note; even suggesting that I roll that way, I don't think anybody here could handle my junk, it would be WAY too large and masculine. But I don't roll that way. Though I can't say much for Little Sin, but the same goes for my elites. There ain't gon' be no alien fucking here with anyone." Kerzon looked over to the girls, who still looked scared and surprised. "Unless any of the ladies would care to take a ride with the K-Train." He said seductively.

"You would be the one to hit on a fucking horse if you had the chance." Eyha said to Kerzon.

"I think I like this guy." Tucker said.

"Ehem. I know I'm sexy, but-" Kerzon trailed off.

"No, I meant..." Tucker sighed. "Damn it."

"Why do you all look so scared of us?" Little Sin asked. "We don't even know how we got here. Why would we want to hurt cute-ass ponies? You even fucking talk!" Little Sin said, sitting on the ground hugging Caboose in one arm and Pinkie in the other. He glared over at Sarge who was staring at him. 'Accept for that fucker' Sin thought to himself.

"I dunno, I kinda like the prospect of everybody bein' scared of me." Imperial Zealot Tody said. "Though I don't know why you'de be scared of Kerzon. He's a softy" Tody punched Kerzon on the arm and laughed. As soon as Tody's fist made contact with his arm, Kerzon shot up totally erect. He narrowed his eyes as he slowly motioned his head towards Tody, where he stared him down for a few seconds. Tody's face turned into a worried expression. Kerzon lurched forward as his fist came around with beastly power and momentum.

"Oh, fri-" Tody started before Kerzon's fist made contact with his chest and sent him flying for 6 feet until he landed on his behind.

"Aaaw, my chest." Tody said. Kerzon simply chucked and clapped his hands together.

Tody got up and shook off the pain. "So, how much of you guys are the UNSC outlaws that were working with the freelancers?"

"All the guys." Church said. "The girls are all native."

"Uhuh." Tody said.

Stranded

"Imperial Admiral Kerzon Xytranai, this is the bridge to all decks, please respond." General Velska Afrocov said from the bridge. He became concerned due to all the ship malfunctions so he assembled a team and made his way to the bridge to find a series of dead Sangheili and no Imperial Admiral or Supreme Commander.

"General, I just scanned the entire ship, I cannot find the Admirals indicator anywhere." An officer said.

"He must have left the ship to find answers on the surface." Velska mumbled to himself. "Either that or he's dead."

"General, I'm picking up an energy build-up."

"Location."

"Here, on the bridge. General-"

A bright flash lit up the bridge and an elegant creature with a white coat and flowing sparkly hair appeared. It wore gold on some parts of its body and had a large pointy horn and a set of wings.

"What are you doing in my land?" She demanded, her voice obviously female.

A series of growls and snarls could be heard along with the drawing of several energy swords as the Sangheili on the bridge started circling around the creature defensively. Her horn began to glow in retaliation.

"Stand down, incompetents!" Velska ordered loudly.

The Sangheili backed away and withdrew their swords, though still cautious.

"I am Velska Afrocov. General of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet." He said boldly, slowly walking towards her.

"I am Princess Celestia." She said.

"To answer your in-querry, we do not know how we got here, and we are capable and completely willing to leave, however our leader is missing and we must find him." Velska said calmly. Celestia started to relax.

"Your machine is terrifying my people and bringing chaos to my land. I am afraid you will have to leave now."

"We wish you no harm."

"That does not matter. You machine has brought disharmony, which is very dangerous to my people. You must leave now."

"That is unacceptable. We must find our Imperial Admiral and complete our mission."

"I am sorry, but it is how it must be. I cannot allow you to stay here."

"You cannot allow us to stay here?" Velska started. "I do not appreciate your choice of words-Princess Celestia, was it? We must find our Admiral. Exit this ship immediately so we may continue."

"No."

"That was not a suggestion, Celestia." Velska scanned the princess. She was large and looked like she could be very dangerous, but Velska and his men were much taller, larger, and probably had more knowledge of personal combat. Velska drew his energy sword threateningly, challenging her if she dared. Her horn started to glow and he took this as acceptance of his challenge.

He charged at her with his energy sword and swung. She dodged it easily and shot a beam of magic at Velska's feet, causing him to loose his balance. Celestia charged for the engineering station where she pierced her horn into it and started manipulating it with her magic. Velska took notice of this and went in for the kill, however, as he swung, Princess Celestia disappeared into a flash of light. Velska looked around in confusion and took in what he just saw.

"General, slipspace drive is spinning up!" One of his officers said.

"What? I didn't order a jump!" Velska yelled.

"It is a system malfunction, sir. Whatever that creature did has caused our systems to malfunction."

"Doesn't she know anything about slipspace physics? If we were to jump in the atmosphere it would cause a rupture in normal space. She has not only killed the Admiral, but she's killed herself!"

"Actually General, the external inertial dampeners have been activated, there is no telling what could happen to the ship or surrounding area."

"Power up weapons and fire at the nearest populated body!"

"I'm trying. Weapons systems are offline, General."

Velska snarled and roared in anger.

Tucker looked up at the ship. "Wait a second, can't we use the ship to get the fuck out of here and go home?"

"Remember? We're in the Epsilon unit dumbass. Even if we did escape in a ship there is no home here." Church added.

"He does have a point." Simmons added.

"Actually-" Tivos started. "We were in slipspace when we emerged here. Which means we are in normal space, as there has been no recorded history of vessels of any kind emerging in different realities, universes, or dimensions threw slipspace. It is most likely that the only way for you to return home completely would be to take Kerzon's ship to the Epsilon unit and disconnect yourselves from it."

"Thanks, smart-ass." Chruch said.

"Wait, how exactly would we account for the fact that we're horses, exactly?" Grif asked.

"You would only be horses until you disconnected yourselves from the Epsilon unit. You would be human again once you got out."

"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's get the fuck out of here!" Tucker said enthusiastically.

"If you want to leave, your going to have to ride in our phantom so we can get to our ship." Eyha said.

Kerzon coughed. "Ride in my phantom so we can get to my ship."

Everybody paused and there was a long silence. "Well, we should get going if we are going to leave." Tivos said threw his English accent, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I guess we should get going than." Church said sadly. "Goodbye Twilight, thanks for letting me stay at your place while we stayed here. I appreciate it a lot. I had a great time."

"Sure." She said sadly.

"Guess we won't be able to finish our competition." Sarge looked at Applejack's eyes. "I'll miss ya." She said, smiling but visible tears beginning to form in her eyes. "You too, AJ." He said as he hugged her.

"Uuuuh, yeah. I know we didn't really do much, but it was nice I guess." Grif told Fluttershy. She nodded her head and looked down.

"I don't want to leave." Caboose said sadly.

"We have to, Caboose. We don't belong here. We need to go and finish the mission with Carolina. Besides, you didn't expect to be able to stay here forever, right?" Church told him.

Caboose let out a sad sigh and looked at Pinkie, who was beginning to tear up. her mane didn't look as puffy as usual.

"Wrinkly Tie-" Caboose started

"Pinkie Pie." She corrected.

"Pinkie Pie. I am going to miss you." He said, and started to sniffle. "I will always remember the times we spent ironing ties together. It was the funnest I've ever had.

"Ironing ties?" Pinkie started.

"It's futile." Church said.

They shared a hug and said goodbye one last time.

Tucker looked at Rainbow Dash. "Goodbye, I guess." He said flatly.

"Hey, It'll be good to sleep without having you toss and turn all night." She said.

Tucker let out a weak laugh. "Yeah."

"Um. I'm not too good with goodbyes." Simmons said to Rarity.

"Its okay." She said. "Goodbye Simmons." She smiled, but she was still saddened.

"Bye." Simmons said.

"Jesus Murphy. Let's go." Kerzon said impatiently.

They all started to walk away from the girls and towards the phantom when Tucker looked back. All of the girls had lost their sincere smiles and turned to sad expressions. What especially caught his eye was Rainbow Dash. She was looking down at the ground, lightly kicking around dirt with her front hoof. He stopped walking with the others and stared for a moment. She looked up at him and a tear ran down her cheek. All of a sudden Tucker felt a jolt of something he had never experienced before. It was attachment. He broke eye contact and looked down at the ground.

"No." He said. The reds, blues, and the rest stopped and looked at him. He raised his head and made eye contact with them.

"Tucker, let's go. We knew we wouldn't be able to stay here forever." Church said.

"Yeah? And I suppose we're going so we can kill the director?"

"Yes, that's the mission."

"No. What do we have for ourselves if we go back? Sure, we can help Agent Bitch kill the director, but what's in it for us? We're outlaws. We betrayed our own government, our own people to help her. You know what? I don't even like her. So if we go back, we are not only helping some bitch we all hate, but we are technically helping you kill yourself, Church. Which I don't mind, but once we are finished, what the fuck are we going to do? Move into human civilization? Sure, let's just get arrested by the UNSC and get put in prison for treason. Go back to some dirty ass canyon and fight the reds again? Fuck that. I had nothing to live for then and I have nothing to live for if we go back. But here, I have something to live for." Tucker looked back at Rainbow Dash, who smiled. He walked over to her and stood beside her. "You can go if you want, but I'm staying. You can tell Agent Bitch that I have more important things to attend to."

They all paused for a moment until Sarge looked at Church and spoke. "I hate to say it, but he's right. We've got nothin' good waiting for us if we go back." He went and stood beside Applejack.

"Fuck this shit, I ain't bustin' my ass for some hard-ass." Grif said as he walked over to Fluttershy.

"I want to stay with Kinky Lie." Caboose said as he walked to Pinkie. "Pinkie Pie." She said.

"He has a point." Simmons said as he walked to Rarity.

"Well I'm glad we agree than." Church said as he walked over to Twilight.

"You've got to be kidding me." Tody said.

Kerzon shrugged. "Well, have fun here than." He made his way towards his phantom when they all heard a noise.

It was the similar sound they heard when the BTS Promethean Equilibrium had arrived. They all looked over to where the sound was. The lights on the Promethean Equilibrium began to glow brighter, and a blue field shot across the hull. The field began at the stern of the ship and shot up to the bow. When it reached the bow, sparks of blue energy sparked as the ship began to punch into slipspace.

"What the fuck are they doing!" Kerzon exclaimed. "Disloyal idiots! We were coming back you dicks! Do you have any idea what you've done!?"

"Oh bloody hell." Tivos said as he looked at the ship in shock.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"My men must have figured I was killed in the slipspace accident. They've decided to leave without me!"

"Well that sucks." Grif said.

"You don't understand how serious this is." Kerzon said.

"How is it serious? They left you behind. Yay, now if you don't mind, I haven't slept in a while."

"Do you like being alive?" Kerzon asked.

"Well, I was always comforted by the prospect of getting to practically sleep for all of eternity when I die, but yeah. I like living."

Tivos spoke before Kerzon could respond. "When starships enter slipstream, it creates small amounts of anti-matter when the slipstream portal closes behind it. If a ship engages it's quantum slipstream drive in a planetary atmosphere, the anti-matter particles annihilate the particles in the atmosphere, causing an anti-matter explosion called a Slipspace Rupture."

"Exactly!" Kerzon said. " We are all going to be atomized in a giant fucking explosion!"

The girls gasped quietly and whispered things to each other.

Everybody watched as the ship cut open a portal into slipspace and accelerated into it using it's sub-light engines. Once the massive supercarrier had fully entered the dark blue orb, the portal imploded, and than exploded outward in an explosion.

"Fuck!" Kerzon yelled, only to be surprised by the fact that the explosion was only about the size of small bomb. A few seconds passed and a weak air blast swept threw Ponyville, slightly messing up Rarity's mine.

"Oh, drat, My mane!" She said warily.

"I.... Don't understand." Kerzon said to himself. "Why didn't it rupture?"

"If the external inertial dampeners were online it could have pulled most of the anti-matter threw." Tivos said a-matter-of-factly.

"Well, that's great. I'm not dead, but now I'm stuck here without my ship, without my infantry, and without my fleet. All I have is an Ascetic, an Honour Guard Ultra, an Imperial Zealot, a Supreme Commander, and a human idiot with a strange urge to fuck tactical consoles." Kerzon sighed. "Well, at least I still have my sword." He pulled out his sword and drew it, he watched the plasma spill out of the handle into a mess of superheated energy until it quickly materialized into a solid looking blade.

"Where the fuck did you get that?" Tucker said in surprise.

"It's a ritualistic weapon to my people."

"Hm." Tucker murmured to himself in interest, obviously intrigued by the fact that this alien had the same weapon that Tucker did before he came to Equestria.

Transformations

Suddenly the newcomers were engulfed by a bright light.

"What the fuck?" Little Sin said, he pulled out his pistols and started aiming around looking for something to shoot. "God dammit, show yourself! "

"What the fuck is going on? I can't see, god dammit. Why does today have to be the shittiest day ever?" Kerzon said.

Eyha opened his eyes first. "Uh, guys. You might wanna take a look at this."

The newcomers opened their eyes to find themselves in the same room the were in when the reds and blues first arrived. There was a large red carpet that led up to an elevated throne. Princess Celestia sat in the chair. There were two guardsman standing near the princess.

"Guards, defensive formation!" Kerzon ordered. His two honour guards immediately reacted.

"Honour guard tower of terror!" Enolc said as he crouched down. Eyha jumped on Enolc's shoulders and they drew their swords simultaneously.

"I want an explanation! Answer me before my tower of guardsman fuck you up." Kerzon said. "Seriously, I'll tell them to do it. Double penetration!" He engaged his jet pack and lifted into the air slightly.

Princess Celestia wondered to herself why so many bickering idiots were Coming to Equestria.

"So this is the famed Imperial Admiral that I have been told about, I presume." Princess Celestia said.

"Have we even met?" Kerzon asked in confusion.

"No, I was aboard your vessel and was attacked by one of your people."

"Who? Who was commanding my ship when you went aboard?"

"Presumably one of your higher-ups." The princess said. "He wore yellow armour and there were yellow lights plastered on his armour."

"General Velska Afrocov." Kerzon growled to himself. "He was the one that left me here. If I ever get back I'm going to execute him myself."

"That won't be necessary. I was the one who sent your ship back. It was sending Equestria into chaos."

"You WHAT?" Kerzon said. "That was MY ship! It was like my daughter!"

"I presumed you were killed and decided that finding you before I sent back your ship was not worth the risk of disharmony. Disharmony is very dangerous to my people. I grew curious as to your whereabouts, so I thought up a locator spell and found you in Ponyville." Princess Celestia said.

Kerzon sighed. "So what now?"

"I have something in mind. Since I have nowhere to put you, I am going to do the same thing to you that I did to the stallions you are seemingly familiar with."

"Wait, if your thinking of turning us into horses-" Tody was cut off by a white mist that enveloped the newcomers.

Little sin aimed his pistols around in confusion, only to find that they disappeared in his hands. "My guns, they're gone!" He cried.

Kerzon felt his side. "My sword!" The Honour guards swords were also gone. Kerzon looked at his hooves. "What the hell?"

The mist dissipated and the newcomers looked around at each other.

"God dammit! I'm a horse!" Enolc said.

Tivos looked at Enolc in surprise. "What?"

"You all have been transformed into equines. From now on your goal will be to find your true selves." Celestia said to the newcomers.

"And what exactly does that mean?" Tody added.

"I assume you do not know what a cutie mark is, so I will-"

"Oh Jesus, my gay metre is already going off." Kerzon said.

"As I was saying, a cutie mark is something you earn when you find your special talent. It appears on your flank when you have found what defines you. Every cutie mark is different, none are the same. And it can only come with time, so you mustn't force it."

"How am I supposed to find my... uh..... cutie mark if I don't have my sword. It is like an extension of my mind, body, and soul. I have had it since I was a child." Kerzon said.

"I'm sorry, but I had to take away all of your weapons becau-"

"Don't be a douchebag."

"Weapons are not permi-"

"Don't be a douchebag.

"Wea-"

"Don't. Be. A douchebag."

She sighed. "Very well, I will make an exception." Celestia said submissively. "But if I hear that you are miss-using it, it can be taken away just as easily as given."

Kerzon saw a flash at his side and he looked at his side to see that a holster had been strapped to his side, inside it was a Sangheili energy sword, the same one he came with. "Damn straight." He said.

"Hey, if he gets his sword, I want my shotguns back." Little Sin said.

"I did it once, I-"

"I want my shotguns!" He shouted.

"I can't-"

"I want my shotguns!"

Celestia let out yet another sigh. "What about your other two weapons? Just before you pester me about them too."

"Yes, I want them too." Celestia's horn glowed for a moment and Little Sin's body was practically covered in straps that kept holsters on him, his guns mounted on each. He had a UNSC magnum on either side of his body, and two shotguns magnetically mounted across his back. One shotgun was a UNSC 8 gauge, and the other was an 8 gauge semi-automatic AA-14, the same ones he came with. "Yes!" He exclaimed boldly.

Both Kerzon's and Little Sin's weapons were of coarse miniaturized to match their new size.

Little sin was a tan coloured earth pony with a dark brown mane and tail, his pistol and shotgun straps mounted on him.

Tivos was a purple unicorn with a grey mane and tail.

Kerzon was a white pegasus with a bright yellow flame engulfing his mane and tail, his sword sheath strapped to him.

King Tody was a yellow unicorn with a gold mane and tail.

Enolc was a white coloured earth pony with a Cyan mane and tail.

And Eyha was white, with a white mane and tail.

"Now back to business." Celestia said. "Like the other stallions that came here before, I have sent letters to the pairs you met earlier and informed them that each of them will be receiving a new stallion. Little Sin, you will be staying with Pinkie Pie and Caboose."

"Fuck yeah." Little Sin said. "I get the cute ones

"Enolc, you will be with Applejack and Sarge."

"Okay." He said.

"Admiral Kerzon, you will be with Rainbow Dash and Tucker."

"I hope they're not doin' it, if you know what I mean, cause I'm gonna try and bunk with the female one. BAM!" Kerzon said.

"Eyha, you will be staying with Fluttershy and Grif."

"Cool." Said Eyha.

"Tivos, you will be staying at the boutique with Rarity and Simmons."

"Okay, sure." He said.

"Tody, you will be at the library with Twilight and Church."

"Whatever." King Tody said.

"Kerzon, Eyha, you have been given wings to keep up with your pairs. Tivos and Tody, you have been given horns so your pairs may mentor you. As for you Enolc and Little Sin, you are earth ponies since your pairs are as well. Like I said to the other stallions, I will send for you if I happen to need you. Farewell my little ponies."

"Oh god. My little ponies? I can already tell this is going to shrink my dick a couple sizes." Kerzon said.

The white mist came back and before they knew it they were outside of Fluttershy's residence.

Settling In

Little Sin, Tody, Enolc, Kerzon, Eyha, and Tivos all walked towards Fluttershy's home. The phantom was still hovering above the ground. They went inside to see the girls and stallions all reading their letters.

"Eherm." Kerzon grunted. They all looked over to see the newcomers standing at the doorway.

"Come in." Fluttershy said shyly. They all walked in.

"So we have t' watch you, eh?" Applejack said, looking at Enolc.

"Well, I don't hear much enthusiasm in that tone of voice. It's okay, I know when I'm not wanted."

"Em. No, it's not that, it's just that you were pretty big back their when we saw you. I don't want Applejack to be gettin' hurt." Sarge said. "By the way, if you hurt 'er, your not gonna like me."

"You know, they may be ugly ass aliens, but they're not like mindless vicious lizards or some shit. We aren't going to hurt you if you don't hurt us." Little Sin said sincerely.

Sarge looked at Little Sin and noticed that he still had his guns. "That little-" Sarge started walking forward when Applejack pulled him back. She shook her head at Sarge and he stopped, though still staring at Little Sin. "I'm the shotgun master, he hasn't earned the right to wield such a piece of work." He very quietly mumbled to himself.

"I wouldn't worry about us hurting you." Pinkie said. "We are nice ponies!" Pinkie and Caboose said in unison.

"The fucking cuteness..." Little Sin said in a squeezed, strained voice as he tensed up and slowly wiped a tear from his eye.

"Well, me and Church should probably get going. It's getting late." Twilight said. "Are you coming, um, Tody?"

"Sure. Gotta sleep somewhere." He said.

"We should probably get goin' too." Applejack said.

"Us three. I have things I need to do tonight." Rarity said and motioned for Simmons to get moving. She looked at Tivos and smiled, Tivos returned the smile and followed them out.

Eyha looked at Fluttershy and Grif. "So am I staying here or something?" He said.

"Yep. Guess you are. Welcome to your new home." Grif said.

"Guess that means we're heading out too. Me and Tucker'll catch you guys later." Rainbow Dash said.

"Hey Little Sin! Do you wanna see sugar cube corner?" Pinkie asked. Little Sin's eyes widened and a smile slowly grew on his face. "Guess that's a yes!" She said. "Let's go! Goodbye everypony!" Pinkie said to everyone. Everybody said they're goodbyes and all of the ponies then left Fluttershy’s home, each making their way back to their respective places of residence.

"You're not going to kick me in the nuts again, are you?" Tucker asked.

"Not unless you give me a reason to." Rainbow Dash said. "Do you think you can fly now?"

Tucker looked back at his wings and started flapping them slowly.

"They seem to be good now." Tucker said.

"Wait, do we have to use these wings?" Kerzon unfurled his wings. "I don't exactly know how to do this shit."

"We live on a cloud, so yes." Tucker said.

"We? It's my cloud-home, you're just staying in it." Rainbow Dash said.

"Okay, there is really no need for you guys to get pissy with each other in front of me. Just go to your cloud thing. I'll catch up with you in my phantom. I need somewhere to put it anyway."

"Alright." Rainbow Dash said, hitting Tucker on his flank. "You're it."

Tucker stared at her zoom away for several seconds, until he processed what just happened.

"No fair!" Tucker yelled. "I wasn't ready."

"That's too bad." Rainbow Dash yelled back. "I was under the impression that you were a stallion, not a mouse."

"I'll show you who is a mouse." Tucker said, snapping forward after Rainbow Dash.

Kerzon walked towards his phantom. "Geeze, what a fuckin' day." He said, riding the gravity lift into the phantom. It would take him a couple minutes to release it from dock and fly it away.

Tucker then caught up with Rainbow Dash and hit her flank.

"Who is the mouse now?" Tucker yelled.

Tucker looked back at Rainbow Dash who was about to touch him then he stopped. Rainbow Dash tackled him to the ground.

"Why did you stop?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tucker did not say anything, instead he kissed her on the lips.

Parking The Phantom

Rainbow Dash and Tucker laid on the ground for a couple seconds in their embrace, but then Rainbow Dash pulled back her head and smiled.

"A little forward, aren't you Tucker?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising her eyebrow but keeping her smile.

"Yeah, you already decimated my dick so I figured I didn't have much more to lose." Tucker replied, laughing slightly. "What are we going to do now?"

They both then sat up and looked at the stars.

"It really is a nice night." Rainbow Dash said. "Be a shame to sleep it away." Tucker looked at her and started grinning. "That's not what I meant." Rainbow Dash laughed. "I mean do you want me to show you around Cloudsdale? Your wings seem to be working now so I can show you the cool sights."

"What about the other guy?" Tucker paused and scratched his chin. "Kerzon, that's it."

"You wanna see Cloudsdale or not?" Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

"Sure, sounds good." Tucker said, getting off the ground.

"I think I know a place that you will like." Rainbow Dash said, flying towards Cloudsdale.

"All right lead the way." Tucker said, flying after her.

Rainbow Dash led Tucker all the way to Cloudsdale and stopped by a large, circular building.

"What is this thing?" Tucker asked.

"This is where pegasi learn how to fly, and they also do aerial shows every so often." Rainbow Dash said, gazing at it wistfully. "And it is also where the Wonderbolts perform."

"Who are the Wonderbolts?" Tucker asked.

"They're the best flyers in all Cloudsd- no, all of Equestria." Rainbow Dash said. "It has been my dream to join them one day."

"Cool. Is that them?" Tucker asked, pointing to a poster.

Rainbow Dash trotted to the poster and started looking it over. Once she got to the bottom her eyes opened wide and she started smiling.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" Rainbow Dash said excitedly.

"What?" Tucker asked.

"The Wonderbolts are performing in the next few days! We totally need to go see it." Rainbow Dash squealed.

"I don't have any money to pay for a ticket, do you?" Tucker asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at Tucker and frowned slightly. "I don't think so." Rainbow Dash said sadly.

The two heard a ghostly sound approach them and they turned their heads to see a large floating aircraft stop near them. A door opened on the side of the craft. "Where the fuck did you guys go? This doesn't look like a house, it looks like a fucking city." The two ignored his remark and continued.

"Well," Tucker said, looking at the poster. "We have almost a week to get some cash."

"Yeah, that's true." Rainbow Dash said, tapping her chin. "It doesn't cost too much, so we might be able manage it."

"Um, hello. Over here. Driving a giant hovercraft? Yeah, I need to put this somewhere that isn't in the middle of a fucking city."

"Cool." Tucker said, grinning. "They sound awesome."

"They are." Rainbow Dash said, now flying back home. "We'll figure out how to get some work tomorrow, but for now I'm feeling tired."

"Jesus, finally." Kerzon muttered to himself, closing the door and going back to his phantom's cockpit. He followed them all the way back home. Where he parked the phantom beside the cloud house. They all walked inside of Rainbow Dash's home.

"Well, I'm gonna get some shut-eye." Rainbow Dash said as she made her way to her room. "You coming, Tucker?"

Kerzon laughed a little bit. "You guys sleep together? Nice."

"It's not like that. We sleep in the same bed, but we aren't fucking or anything." Tucker said before Rainbow Dash could argue.

"Speaking of which. Where the hell am I gonna sleep?" Kerzon asked.

"Well, you could sleep with me and Tucker." Rainbow Dash said.

Kerzon looked over to Tucker who was looking back at him, seemingly begging him not to say that he would do that. Kezon was not inclined to do so anyway. He would never sleep in the same bed with a man.

"Naaah. I think I'm good." Kerzon shrugged. "I would if you were alone, but I don't sleep with guys. I'll just sleep on the couch or something."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes went to her room. Kerzon sat on the couch and sighed as he relaxed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Thanks." Tucker said as he sat down on the other side of the couch.

Kerzon looked to his left. "Eh, I know how it is when your tryin' to get a tap. It's all cool." He said.

Tucker noticed that something was bothering Kerzon. "Rough day?" Tucker asked.

"You have no fucking idea." Kerzon said.

"What happened?" Tucker asked.

"You really want to know?"

"I guess."

Kerzon let out a small laugh. "Well, pretty much I was clubbin' with my friend Little Sin."

"Isn't he the brown one?" Tucker asked.

"Yep. We were clubbin' and I met this hot Sangheili chick. I'm an aristocrat, which means that I'm defined in my culture as a professional in martial prowess with this thing." He looked back at his energy sword holster. "But the awesome thing about being an aristocrat is that I'm not allowed to marry, but I can pretty much fuck any chick I want to because of the ritualistic belief of passing swordsman genes on to the next generation."

"Holy shit, are you serious? That is so awesome." Tucker said.

"I know, right?" Kerzon said. "Anyway, so I was on my way down to boner street when this other guy came and started talking shit to me. Saying that I was stealing his chick or some shit. He attacked me, and to his misfortune, I was carrying my energy sword with me like I always do."

"Damn, dude. What did you do to him?" Tucker asked.

"I beheaded him." Kerzon said calmly.

"You cut his fucking head off? Damn, that's fucking crazy."

"That's not all of it. It turns out he was the elder of a state on my world. A state called the State of 'Katar. So to troll his family I decided to burn my name into the ground of his families' state using my ship's weapons. I was stopped half way threw by a systems malfunction and I ended up here. I've lost my fleet, my men, my ship, everything accept for some of my high command officers and a brown idiot with an obsession with shotguns."

"Shit dude. So guess that counts as a rough day." Tucker said.

"I guess it does."

Tucker looked up at Kerzon's head and paused. "Why does it do that?"

"You mean my flame?" Kerzon started, "It just does. It started flaming when I was a kid. The docs couldn't explain it in the least. It happened when my father gave me my first sword and I first used it. It was the sword I have with me now, actually. It is called the Sword of Koir'Sang."

"Would you believe me if I told you that I have a sword just like yours?" Tucker asked.

"No. Why?"

"Because I do."

"Impossible."

"Let's just say that you aren't the first of your kind that I've seen. And the ones that I met were a bit weird with me."

"Sure." Kerzon said dismissively. "You know, she digs you."

"You mean Dash?" Tucker asked.

"Yep."

"Oh I know she does. Who couldn't? Anyway I'm gonna get some sleep. It was nice talkin' to you. Hey, how bout you come and help me and Rainbow Dash find some work tomorrow? If you're gonna stay here you may as well make some cash."

"Whatever. Sure I guess." Kerzon said.

"Cool. See you tomorrow."

"Peace."

Kerzon spread himself out on the couch and fell asleep, his flames dimming as he fell unconscious.

Back down in Ponyville, the others arrived at their residences and went to sleep for the rest of the night. All except Church, who sat outside the Twilights place gazing at the stars. Twilight was asleep, along with Tody who was going to sleep in the same room as Church, but Spike found himself restless so he decided to go downstairs and grab a bite to eat. When he got to the bottom he noticed the door was ajar and that Church was sitting on the grass.

"What are you thinking about Church?" Spike asked, stepping outside, forgetting about food.

"Everything that's been happening." Church said.

"What do you mean by that?" Spike asked.

"I'm not sure. Everything just seems to be moving way too fast." Church said. "Like how we're all adapting to this situation. And how we seem to fitting in too well with everything. Look at Caboose and Pinkie for example, they have the exact same personality, that new guy with the guns seems to get along with them too. And look at Tucker, he managed to learn in one night. It unnerves me."

"Maybe it was a hidden talent." Spike suggested.

"The only talent Tucker has is one for trouble. And that Kerzon guy doesn't seem much like one to avoid trouble either." Church chuckled.

"Sounds like you are just making excuses." Spike said.

"Excuses for what?"

"Maybe you're starting to like it here, and you're just trying to find a reason not to."

Church looked at the stars and smiled.

"I am starting to like it here, why would I look for a reason to not like it?" Church asked.

"Maybe you guys just didn't fit in from where you came from and you are simply not used fitting in now." Spike said. "Maybe you're looking for a reason to go back."

"Maybe you're right." Church said, and he yawned. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright, I'm going to grab something to eat." Spike said. "Night Church."

"Night Spike." Church said, walking up the stairs to the spare room.

Church crawled into his bed.

"Hey." Tody said from his bed across the room.

"Oh, hey." Church said. "How do you like this place so far?"

"Too much colours and stuff. It's not really workin' out for me."

Church laughed. "You'll get used to it."

"I don't think so. I was kinda raised to be a warrior so this whole pony thing is kinda freakin' me out."

"Trust me, you will. I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Alright. Peace."

Secrets

Rarity woke up early to her doorbell ringing. She made her way down the stairs and slowly opened the door to find a grey pegasus holding brown bag.

"Morning Rarity." Derpy said.

"Good morning Derpy." Rarity yawned.

"I have some mail for you!" Derpy said.

Rarity smiled as the clumsy pegasus reached in her bag and pulled out a pile of letters and envelopes. Derpy handed all of them to Rarity and smiled.

"Have a good day Rarity!" Derpy said, slowly walking backwards.

"You too Derpy." Rarity said, smiling back.

Rarity then closed the door and started looking through all the mail, the majority of it belonging to somepony else. She sighed as she knows she will have to find who they belong to. Simmons then got up and yawned.

"Who was that?" Simmons asked.

"That was the mailmare. Apparently I have mail." Rarity said.

Soon after of which Tivos was awoken by the chatter.

"Oh, hi Tivos." Rarity said, holding a hundred envelopes. "I would have never guessed." Simmons said.

"They're not all mine." Rarity said, putting them on a table. "In fact, there is a chance none of them belong to me."

"What a reliable mail service this place has." Simmons said sarcastically.

"Well, Derpy may not be the most reliable pony, but her heart is in the right place." Rarity said.

"Her name is Derpy?" Simmons laughed. "You're kidding right?"

"No, why?" Rarity said curiously.

"Well it's just that back where me and the others are from, Derpy is a..." Simmons started but then cleared his throat. "Nevermind, it doesn't matter."

"It means stupid." Tivos said.

Simmons looked at Tivos, as if questioning as to why he said that "Need any help?"

"It would be much appreciated." Rarity said, pushing half the mail over to Simmons.

"I could help too." Tivos said.

"I wouldn't want to impose..." Rarity said.

"Oh, non-sense. Here, give me some." They evenly distributed the mail into 3 piles and began searching threw it.

Simmons started shuffling through the letters, all of which belonged to somepony else. He kept going and once he got to the last letter he stalled.

"Who is Fancypants?" Simmons asked.

"Fancypants is only the most important pony in Canterlot." Rarity gasped, snatching the letter away from Simmons. "Let me see that."

Rarity opened it and scanned it quickly, then looked up at the stallions with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"This is amazing news!" Rarity said.

"What?" Tivos asked.

"Fancypants is sending over one of his friends to get a suit made in a few days." Rarity said. "Apparently he has a rather unique build, so I have to fit him. He said he remembers my work from a party I attended while back and figured I would be the best candidate for making him a fantastic suit."

"That's pretty cool, I guess." Simmons said.

"Who would name their child Fancypants?" Tivos asked.

They both looked at Tivos. "What? It's a weird name." He said.

"Do you think you two could help me?" Rarity asked.

"How could I help?" Simmons said. "I'm not exactly the best choice of partners for making clothes."

"Well, I know of another way you could help." Rarity said.

"And what would that be?" Simmons asked, raising his brow.

"I could show you how to use the spell that would hold him in place while I get his measurements." Rarity said.

"Do you think I could really learn how to do it?" Simmons said. "I don't know how to use magic."

"You and I both know that is not true. Remember how you broke my spell when you saw that I was getting overworked?" Rarity asked. "I was surprised that you managed to do so and it shows that you have an aptitude for magic."

"Hey, yeah." Simmons said happily. "Okay, sure. Show me how to do it."

"What about me?" Tivos asked.

"I'm sorry, dear. But I don't think I have a job that you could do." Rarity said.

"Oh. Well I guess I could just watch or something."

"Works fine with me." Rarity said. "Simmons?"

"No problem here."

"Let's go upstairs." Rarity said, standing up. "You will need complete concentration and we don't want you to get interrupted."

Simmons nodded and him and Tivos followed Rarity up to her room.

"Okay." Rarity said, standing straight up. "To begin, you must clear your mind of everything."

"But I know so much." Simmons said, semi-sarcastically. Rarity looked at him and smiled sweetly. "Okay, clear my mind. What comes next?" Simmons asked.

"Now imagine yourself grabbing me and holding me down." Rarity said.

"Ooh." Tivos said.

Simmons raised his brow for a second but shook it off and started concentrating. "Uh, alright." Simmons said. "Then what?"

"The next step is to use that mental image and, I guess, project it through your horn." Rarity said. "It is kind of hard to explain since it is an ability unicorns are born with. Here let me..."

Rarity tried to take a step towards Simmons but found herself unable to move. She then looked at Simmons and started to smile. Simmons shook his head, breaking concentration.

"Holy shit. It worked." Simmons said, a shocked expression spreading across his face. "I did it."

"You're a fast learner."

"You're a great teacher."

"You're far too kind." Rarity giggled. "Are you feeling hungry?"

"Sort of." Simmons said.

"What about you, Tivos?"

"I could use a bite to eat." Tivos said.

"How about we make our way to a cafe and grab something to eat." Rarity said. "My treat."

"Sounds good to me." Simmons said with a smile.

"Sure." Tivos said.

Rarity Simmons, and Tivos made their way out the boutique and soon found themselves in front of a cafe. Rarity told the server to get a table for three and he led them to a table inside. The server gave them menus and made his way to the kitchen. Simmons looked at the menu with an inquisitive eye.

"Not much of a selection..." Simmons said. "Just a couple sandwiches and the like."

"Agreed. I'de like some Sangheili food, but I guess being a pony and everything it would probably not agree with my physiology."

"Yes, but what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality." Rarity said.

The server made his way back to their table with two glasses of water and stood at attention.

"What can I get you folks?" The server asked cheerfully.

"I will just have a daisy sandwich." Rarity said, handing the menu over to the server.

"I'll have one as well I guess." Tivos said, doing the same.

"Me too." Simmons said.

The server nodded and trotted over to the kitchen and swiftly brought out three sandwiches and brought them over to their table. Simmons and Tivos thanked him and took a bite out of it.

"This is strangely delicious." Tivos said.

"Yeah, it actually is." Simmons added.

"I know I was right." Rarity said, winking playfully at Simmons. She looked over to Tivos. "So, Tivos, was it?"

"Yes. Tivos. Tivos 'Xytranee."

"How are you liking it here so far? I mean I'm sure it's not as accommodating as that impressive space ship of your's but I hope you like it."

"Well it's not actually my ship. It is Kerzon's. But yes, I think it's okay here I guess. And believe me, it is much more accommodating then the capital ship. It certainly beats going on ridiculous missions to avenge Kerzon's adventures at the club with Little Sin."

"Kerzon. Hm. Isn't he the one with the head that's on fire?" Simmons asked.

"Yeah."

"He under-appreciates you, doesn't he?" Simmons said.

"Simmons, there's not need to be rude, now." Rarity said in surprise.

"No, it's all right Rarity. He does. How did you know?" Tivos asked.

"I just know what it looks like." Simmons let out a weak laugh. "Believe me. It is impossible to impress Sarge."

"Same with Kerzon. I signed up for his fleet many years ago, and since then I have made attempt after attempt just to get him to tell me that he's proud to have me as his Supreme Commander. It always just ends up with some sexual joke or complete disregard for my efforts."

"I know, right? It's the exact same with Sarge. I even saved his life once and he still didn't appreciate me for it." Simmons added.

"Exactly. One time we were having a meeting with another Sangheili fleet, and the Admiral of the other fleet decided to attack Kerzon in mid sentence. He shot a Type 50 Directed Energy Rifle at Kerzon and I jumped in front of him and took the shell. The Type 50 Rifle fires an incredibly deadly explosive called a concussion shell. You can imagine how injured I was. Kerzon was able to kill the other Admiral and his honour guards killed the rest of the enemies, but he might not have made it out alive were it not for my sacrifice." Tivos let out a small laugh. "And when I did that, all he had to say was that he was 'awesome' for making it out alive."

"Well that's not very nice." Rarity said.

"I suppose not. But I respect him, and I will persist in making him appreciate me more by attempting to impress him."

"So Tivos, why don't you tell me and Simmons about yourself a bit, get to know you?" Rarity said.

Tivos laughed. "Well, I guess if you want me to."

"Sure." Simmons said.

"Well, I was born on Sangheilios, in the State of 'Xytran. I was raised with Kerzon by our father Tarius 'Xytranai-"

"Wait, Kerzon is your brother?" Simmons asked.

"Yes. Accept the suffixes at the end of our last names are different. My last name is 'Xytranee. His is 'Xytranai. The reason for this is because our father was an aristocrat, which meant he was never allowed to merry, but he could mate with any female he wanted to to pass the swordsman genes of aristocracy. The difference between me and Kerzon is that Kerzon is older, so he was granted leadership over the state because our father was Kaidon. Not only that but Kerzon chose to dedicate his life to aristocracy as well, so he has the 'ai' suffix in his name. I didn't choose the path of an aristocrat so I don't have that suffix. But anyway, when Kerzon and I were old enough, we chose to pursue a career in the covenant military. Many notable acts from Kerzon in the name of.... Um... exterminating the scourge of the gods.... awarded him the supreme rank of Imperial Admiral. Soon after I was promoted from General to Supreme Commander due to my battle experience. We led an eventful career until events led up to recently. Just last year, the war ended- ehr, um, nevermind."

"War?" Rarity asked in surprise.

Tivos avoided eye contact and remained silent. "I- I can't talk about that."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Rarity asked.

"Yes. I am sure." He said abruptly, making the situation awkward.

"Well, uh, Simmons. Why don't you tell us about yourself?" Rarity said to break the tension.

"I'm not that interesting." Simmons said without a hint of humor.

"Even so, I would like to get to know you more. And I'm sure Tivos would too." Rarity said. Tivos remained silent. Staring into space.

"Alright then." Simmons said, long finished his sandwich.

He spent the next hour telling Rarity and Tivos about himself, and after he was finished Rarity did the same. After they finished, Rarity paid the bill and the three walked out of the restaurant, Simmons and Rarity clearly enjoying themselves. Tivos still decided to remain silent.

Like Shotgun Men I

Grif was awakened by Fluttershy, who was tapping on his shoulder lightly. He grunted and rolled off the couch slowly. Haley jumped down after him and they both stretched. After a couple seconds of Fluttershy staring awkwardly at Grif, he spoke up. "Uh, any reason you woke me up so early?"

"It's not early. It's one in the afternoon..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"What?" Grif said with a chuckle. "That's earlier than I thought it was."

Fluttershy looked at Grif and smiled and he let out a small sigh. "Alright, I'll bite." Grif grunted. "What's up?"

"Pinkie Pie wanted me to stop by her place." Fluttershy said. "So I was wondering if you would be able to, you know, look after some bunnies..."

Grif stared at her silently.

"Is it a lot of work?" Grif asked simply.

"Oh, it's none at all." Fluttershy said happily. "You just have to sit under a tree and make sure they don't run off."

"I guess I could do that." Grif said.

Fluttershy walked out the door to her yard and Grif followed her obediently. He looked out at the half dozen bunnies, running around and playing. He then saw two trees side by side and he sat down with his back on one of them.

"There really aren’t that many of them so they shouldn't give you any trouble at all." Fluttershy said.

"So there really is nothing else to it?" Grif asked after sitting for a couple seconds

"As long as you keep your eye on them, then it’s the easiest thing in the world." Fluttershy said.

"Okay, cool."

Fluttershy gave Grif a quick hug.

"Thank you." Fluttershy said, turning away. "I'll be back soon."

"No problem." Grif said, letting out a slight yawn.

Eyha came out of the house and walked towards the two.

"What's up?" He said.

"I'm going to be stopping by Pinkie's place. I'm just leaving Grif here to look after some bunnies." Fluttershy said.

"Well, that totally doesn't sound like the gayest and most boring thing I've heard all week." Eyha said. "Would you mind if I came along? I have absolutely nothing to do."

"Sure, if you want to." She said shyly.

"Cool. It'd be nice to troll Little Sin for a bit. You lead the way." Eyha said. Fluttershy started towards Pinkie's place. By the time they arrived Pinkie and Caboose were standing outside with a cannon, looking in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hey Pinkie." Fluttershy said.

"Oh hi Fluttershy." Pinkie looked at Eyha. "What was your name again?"

"Eyha 'Ohsolee." He said.

"Oh hey Ehya 'Ohsolee. Sorry for forgetting your name. It's just that Little Sin mentioned you earlier and I didn't exactly remember how he said it." Pinkie said.

"Little Sin mentioned me? What did he say?"

"He said you are a fudge packer. Whatever that is." Pinkie giggled.

Eyha coughed. "Where is Little Sin?"

"Oh, he went to the place that smells like apples for some reason. Said he had to go do something important." Caboose said.

Sarge was laying against a tree deep in the forest of apple trees in Sweet Apple Acres relaxing. He set his new hat over his face and decided to relax for a while after a long day of apple harvesting. He began to doze off when he heard a twig break to his right. He put his hat on his head and stood up to take a look but nobody was around. Sarge grunted and began to make his way back to the barn when he heard another twig crack to his left.

"Show yourself!" He said without fear. Suddenly he heard yet another twig crack from behind him. He turned around and again there was nobody. Suddenly he heard twigs begin to crack from various different directions simultaneously. And soon enough he was in the centre of a rampage of cracking twigs, all coming from different directions. He crouched down into a defensive posture, prepared for whatever was coming. A strange sound could be heard, no decipherable direction, it seemed to come from every direction at once.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" A bunch of voices slowly cheered from every direction. They sounded like children, but they were distorted and sounded demonic and twisted. Sarge had no idea what was going on. Suddenly bits of confetti started raining down from the trees above him as the demonic children slowly and continuously cheered from every direction. It took Sarge a moment to notice that instead of the raining confetti being of different colours, the bits were blood crimson. At this point Sarge was beginning to worry for the safety of the apple family. He had no idea what was going on.

"Show yourself you coward!" He yelled defensively. Suddenly the slow, demonic cheering came to an absolute halt and the confetti stopped raining. Sarge looked to the ground to see the remaining confetti bits at his feet sink into the ground like quick sand. Sarge brought his hooves off the ground and yelled. "Come and face me like a man!" He yelled.

He heard a voice come from behind him. "I believe we have a score to settle." The voice said.

Sarge spun around to see Little Sin standing behind him, glaring at him.

"What score?" Sarge asked smugly.

"You touched my shotgun."

"You don't deserve to wield such a thing of beauty." Sarge said bluntly.

"I know what you think. I overheard the things you said when we were at the yellow one's home. I detest your ignorance."

"Ignorance is a fire which has fuelled the trigger to the shotgun for generations. It is something to be executed as an instrument of fear to inflict upon the eyes of those who would dare disgrace the name shotgun."

"What you speak is valid, however too many words can hinder ones ability to take action."

"If action is what you want. You'll get it."

"Its starting to sound like you care to settle this the old fashioned way."

Sarge narrowed his eyes. "Some things were meant to be settled the old fashioned way."

Little Sin dismounted the UNSC 8 gauge from his back and threw it at Sarge's feet, not breaking eye contact.

"If you really are a true wielder of the shotgun, you will meet me back here in 15 minutes, and we will settle this like men. Like shotgun men." Little Sin said. "You will either come, or be shamed. Your choice."

"Sarge never runs away from a fight." He said back. "You're on."

They both stared each other down for a few minutes until Sarge heard a twig break behind him. He turned to find the source of it but there was nothing. He turned back to Little Sin but he was gone, a small pile of colourful confetti where he was standing seconds before.

"For too long I have been kept from that which makes me whole." Sarge said to himself as he slowly walked to the weapon Little Sin had placed. He picked up the shotgun and looked at it. The sheer beauty of the weapon as it glistened in the sunlight to Sarge was absolutely breathtaking. It brought a small determined smile to his face.

"Sarge is back." He said as he narrowed his eyes and cocked his shotgun.

"And he's commin' with a vengeance."

Sandvich

Pinkie and Caboose were back at Sugar Cub Corner talking with Fluttershy and Eyha. Pinkie wanted Fluttershy to come over and help them with some work.

"So what's with the cannon?" Eyha asked.

"Oh, its for Little Sin." Pinkie said

"What the fuck would he need a cannon for?"

"He wants me to shoot him out of it." Pinkie said back.

Eyha sighed. "Well, must mean he's up to no good then. Knowing him he's probably going to do something stupid, but I guess he's just being the idiot he is."

"I heard that, bitch." Little Sin said, trotting towards Sugar Cube Corner.

"Oh, would you look at that. Its Little Sin." Eyha said and managed to force up a small laugh. "Fucking dick." He whispered to himself.

"Okay so lets get this baking stuff done. I only have 15 minutes until I have to go back to Sweet Apple Acres." Little Sin said.

"All right!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.

All four of them went inside of Sugar Cube Corner. "It's a ginger bread house." Eyha said.

Little Sin looked up to a hole in the ceiling. "Damn straight it is."

"Okay Pinkie, so what do we have to do?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well, Little Sin said he wanted us to try something of his own. He wanted some other ponies to come over and try his recipe so I went for you!" Pinkie said.

"This ought to be good." Eyha chuckled. "So how am I supposed to help."

"You don't." Little Sin said. "You simply watch me make it and then eat it. After you are done doing that comes the most important part. You have to tell me that it is delicious. Now this has to be done perfectly or else the shotgun will get involved."

"Whatever. Just do it so I can leave." Eyha said. "So what are you making anyway?"

"A sandwich." Little Sin said with a proud smile.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Eyha asked.

"It's not just any sandwich, its called a sandvich." Little Sin said.

"Great." Eyha said sarcastically.

Pinkie gasped. "A sandvich!? That's like a sandwich... but with a V!"

"It sounds like something that I could put in my mouth!" Caboose saod

"I'm surrounded by idiots. Can we go, Fluttershy?"

"I know, right?" Little Sin said. "It's amazing."

"How do you make one, Sin?" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Please don't ask him that."

"Well Pinkie, It's quite simple." He said. music could be heard playing from no apparent direction.

"What the fuck?" Eyha said. "Oh, for fucks sake-" Little Sin began to sing to the music.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it too the mix!

Now just take a little something sweet, not sour. A bit of salt, just a pinch!

Baking these treats is such a sinch! Add a teaspoon of BOLOGNA!

Add a little more and you count to four and you NEVER GET YOUR FILLA!!!

Sandvich! so moist and delicious,

Sandvich! I'M COMING FOR YOU!

Sandvich! Sandvich sandvich sandvich!" The music stopped as he finished.

"What the fuck just happened?" Eyha said. He looked over to the counter and their was a sandwich with various ingredients inside it and an olive on a toothpick coming out of the top.

"Okay. I'm not even going to try and explain what the fuck just happened. All I'm going to say, is that you just made a fucking sandwich by taking flower, putting it in a bowl, adding salt, which isn't fucking sweet by the way, and adding a teaspoon of Bologna. How the fuck does that even work? You can't even put Bologna into a fucking teaspoon because it is a SOLID. You  really should just have a bowl of dry flower with salt in it, and a small amount of fucking Bologna in it. Like seriously, sometimes it seems like you are just fucking excused from the laws of physics or something. And I'm not even going to get started on how the fuck that background music was involved. You know what? I think I'm just going to go back to your place Fluttershy, chill with Grif or something before I end up getting killed here or something. Peace out." Eyha left the Sugar Cube Corner started back towards Fluttershy's place.

"That was kind of rude." Pinkie said.

"He seems kind of mean." Caboose said.

Little Sin just laughed. "He is nothing compared to Tody, trust me. Well my time's running short and I got to go. Pinkie and Caboose, could you guys help me with the cannon thing?"

"Yeah, sure!" Pinkie said.

"You will be like a cannon ball!" Caboose said.

Fluttershy followed the three outside to where the small cannon was. Little Sin checked to make sure his shotgun was loaded and ready and he hopped inside the barrel of the cannon.

"Ready." Little Sin said. "No hoes allowed in my town, boy. It's shotgun time." He said quietly.

Like Shotgun Men II

Sarge walked up to the spot where he was confronted before. Cautiously walking to avoid getting shot. Suddenly he heard a boom sound. He looked up to where the sound came from and noticed a small object travelling towards him. As it got close he could hear voices coming from it.

"There can only be one!" It said.

It got closer and he could see what it was. It was Little Sin.

"There can only be one!" He yelled a second time. He was heading straight for Sarge. Sarge braced himself as he couldn't move away fast enough and Little Sin collided with him, which sent him flying into a tree 10 feet away. Sarge got up and charged for Little Sin, who was getting up.

Little Sin stood on his hind legs Pulled out his AA-14 Semi-Auto 8 Gauge and aimed it at Sarge. By the time he was about to pull the trigger however, Sarge had already closed in. Little Sin fired a shot but Sarge stood on his hind legs and used his shotgun to push Little Sin's shotgun to the side, effectively forcing Little Sin to miss. At this point they were at point blank range of each other. Sarge spun around and side stepped to the left, attempting to hit Little Sin's head with the butt plate of his gun. Little Sin saw this and also side stepped, but instead to the right. At the same time he ducked, causing Sarge to miss his strike and leaving his side open. Little Sin hit Sarge's side with the butt of his weapon, causing him to grunt and bend over in pain. Little Sin took this as an opportunity to hit his shotgun over Sarge's head. He attempted to do so but Sarge quickly reacted and slammed his shotgun against Little Sin's leg.

Little Sin fell to his knees as Sarge stood back up on his hind legs and sent his shotgun hurtling downward towards Little Sin's head. Little Sin did an outside block to the left and took the opportunity to aim his shotgun at Sarge's head, outside of his guard. He stood back up erectly and fired as Sarge ducked back down, he then attempted to hit Little Sin's leg again, but Little Sin expected him to do so. He lifted his leg up as Sarge went to hit it and stomped his back hoof down on Sarge's shotgun. Sarge refused to let go of his new shotgun which made him fall forward. Little Sin then kicked Sarge in the face using the same leg, causing him to fall on his back. At the same time, Little Sin placed the same leg again on Sarge's chest to keep him down, and pointed his shotgun at Sarge's face, clearly in a dominant position.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you for touching my shotgun." Little Sin said.

"I don't have one, but that doesn't matter." Sarge threw a pile of dry dirt he took off the ground in Little Sin's face, temporarily blinding him. He then did a combat roll for his shotgun and acquired it. He began to run after Little Sin, who backed up into a tree, still unable to see. Sarge jumped in the air and did a spin to gain momentum for the blow he was about to make with his shotgun. Little Sin opened his eyes and took notice to Sarge's charge and did the unexpected. At the last second Little Sin turned around and ran up the side of the tree. Sarge smacked his shotgun against the tree as Little Sin pushed off and did a twirl flip off of the tree. In mid air, as Little Sin was completely upside down, he aimed his shotgun downwards at Sarge and fired, Sarge dodged the shot with a swift combat roll and Little Sin landed right in front of him, were he swept Sarge's feet out from under him and made him fall backward. Sarge reacted quickly and tripped Little Sin with a scissor motion. Little Sin rolled over and tried to hit Sarge, but Sarge blocked it with his shotgun. The two got up and resumed their fighting. Little Sin aimed his shotgun at Sarge, who quickly ducked as he shot forward. Sarge jumped up from his duck and attempted to axe kick Little Sin on the top of the head in mid air. Little Sin blocked the kick with his shotgun and pushed upward, making Sarge do a back flip. He landed on his back legs and threw his shotgun at Little Sin's legs in the hope of tripping him. Little Sin jumped over the spinning, flying shotgun and began slowly walking towards Sarge, knowing that he was defenceless. Sarge charged at him. Little Sin attempted to hit Sarge over his head with the shotgun but failed as Sarge outside blocked it with his front right hoof. He then grabbed Little Sin's shotgun and used his other hoof to punch Little Sin's side. At this point Sarge had complete control of Little Sin's arm. Sarge went to hit Little Sin in the throat but Little Sin blocked with his free hoof. He was about to initiate a tactic but Sarge had already acted. He spun inside of Little Sin's guard, Twisting the shotgun out of his hand and almost breaking his wrist, and then elbowed him in the face. Little Sin stumbled backward as Sarge ran forward, fixed his foot on Little Sin's knee, kicked upward for leverage, and threw Little Sin's shotgun at his own shotgun. Little Sin's shotgun hit Sarge's shotgun in such a way that caused Sarge's shotgun to fly up in the air toward him. Sarge caught his beloved shotgun in mid air, doing a 180 degree twirl in the air, he fired a shell at Little Sin as he fell. Little Sin galloped for his shotgun as fast as possible, luckily not getting hit by one of the 8 gauge fragments. He picked up his AA-14 and fired at Sarge , who was now on the ground. Sarge was lucky not to get hit. They charged for each other one last time.

They clashed, and fought valiantly in the name of their honour and dignity. They exchanged blow after blow, blocking and deflecting, some strikes hit, some not. Eventually Sarge thrust the front of his shotgun at Little Sin's chin. Little Sin deflected it with his shotgun and the both used their forward and side momentum to do a spin in mid combat. They spun, side stepped, and both of them aimed their shotguns forward, fixing them on each others heads. They stared at each other for several seconds, shotguns fixed on one another's face, until Sarge slowly began to laugh. Soon after, Little Sin began to laugh as well. They both lowered their shoguns and stood there, laughing.

"Nice moves, Sarge." Little Sin said, still laughing.

"Nice moves yourself. I especially liked it when you did the tree flip thing." Sarge said, he was also still laughing.

"I liked it when you stole my shotgun and used my knee to shoot yourself air born, and then you used my shotgun to get your's back. How the fuck did that even work anyway?" Little Sin said.

"What can I say? I'm a natural." Sarge said.

"Ah, fuck you. I'm still better."

"So, uh, what would you say about me keepin' this thing?" Sarge asked, holding up the shotgun.

"I'de say go stick your dick in a blender." Little Sin said.

Sarge laughed. "No seriously. can I have it?"

"Fuck no, dude. It's my shotgun." Little Sin replied.

Sarge grunted and threw the shotgun at Little Sin's hooves. He mounted his AA-14 onto his back and picked up the UNSC shotgun Sarge used to fight him. He cocked it and attempted to fire at a tree, but the shotgun seemed to have been damaged in the fight, as it would not work.

"Huh, it seems fucked from our fight. I could fix it but I can't do it here. I'de have to be back home for that." Little Sin handed over the shotgun to Sarge. "It doesn't work, but hey, it would make a good souvenir."

Sarge smiled and took it from him. "I dub you worthy." He said.

"From what I hear that is high praise. But I say fuck you, I dub you worthy." Little Sin added. "I should head back to Sugar Cube Corner now." Little Sin said as he walked away.

"Alrighty than, Sin. See you around, maggot."

"Peace, faggot." Little Sin chimed as he trotted away.

Sarge went back to the barn and set the shotgun next to where he slept.

"May not work, but it's still a shotgun, regardless." He said as he left.

Runaway

Eyha returned to Fluttershy's home. He was frustrated with Little Sin's annoyance. He went into Fluttershy's yard and saw Grif against a tree, sleeping.

"Wasn't he supposed to watch those animals?" Eyha said to himself. "Hm. Whatever."

He walked over to a nearby tree and laid down against it. He closed his eyes and dozed off.

Grif opened his eyes, but he didn't feel as tired as he did before. He looked at the sun, which was further down than he remembered. His eyes then snapped open and looked around.

"Fuck." Grif yelled. "Where the hell did they go?"

Grif jumped up and ran around the yard. This woke Eyha up from his nap.

"What the hell is going on?" Eyha asked.

"No time to explain. I've got to find them." Grif said warily.

"You lost those rabbits, didn't you?"

Grif chose not to respond. He continued to look until he saw a couple of bunnies sleeping behind the tree where he was sleeping. Grif let out a wry smile and went to check on the animals. He sighed as he had counted that all five of the bunnies were there. Then he realized that there used to be six.

"I have to go find it, don't I?" Grif asked Haley.

Haley started wagging her tail and barked.

"Hey, you're a dog right? Think you could sniff it out?" Grif asked.

Haley barked and started to sniff the air. She then started walking away from the house. Grif groaned gathered the bunnies into Fluttershy’s home so they would not run away as well. When they were all inside he made his way to Haley, who was sniffing the ground and slowly walking ahead.

"Yo Grif, you should let me come. Part of being an honour guard is being aware of you surroundings. I could help you track it."

"Why would you want to come?" Grif asked.

"Bored." Eyha replied.

"I'm starting to really hate this place." Grif muttered as he motioned Eyha to follow haley.

Haley’s ears then perked up and she started to run. Grif and Eyha started to run with her and they soon found their way at an entrance to a large forest.

"You mean it went in there?" Grif asked. "Fuck that shit."

Grif turned around and started to make his way back to his spot. He then stopped and sighed, assuming Fluttershy would be devastated if one of them was gone.

"From what I can tell, she's sensitive. If we don't go she's gonna be upset." Eyha said.

"Son of a bitch. At least I can hope that it didn't go too far." Grif said. "But I just know that the world hates me too much to let that be the case."

"No point in wasting any more time. Let's go." Eyha said.

Grif and Eyha walked forward with Haley, who was still on the bunny’s trail. Grif then saw something jump into a bush that was in front of him. He smiled and started to walk over to it, but fell flat on his chest as a searing pain shot across his back.

"Fuck, my back." Grif groaned.

Eyha began to laugh. "Did your back just seriously fail?" He laughed even harder. "Wow."

Grif got up and looked around, ignoring Eyha's remarks. He couldn't see anything but had a feeling something was watching him. He slowly made his way over so he could look in the bush.

"Grif, look out!" Eyha yelled.

There was a snap behind him and he spun around quickly. He focused on the spot where he had heard the sound come from. It was hard to make out what it was, but his eyes quickly adjusted and he noticed that it was a wolf. But there was something off about it. It then walked into a spot of sunlight and Grif was able to identify what made it look unnatural.

"Why the fuck is that thing made out of wood?" Grif said shakily.

"How the fuck should I know?" Eyha said.

The bunny then jumped out and started hopping away. The wolf then lost all focus of Grif and started to chase after it. Haley then barked and started to run after the wolf, tail wagging. Grif grudgingly chased after Haley.

"Why the fuck am I doing this?" Grif muttered, not turning back.

"Because she'll be upset." Eyha said in reply.

Grif made his way through the trees and soon found Haley standing next to a tree, head lowered. He walked up next to her and looked at where she was looking. The bunnies foot was stuck in the ground and it was surrounded by a some wolves. Grif looked at the ground.

"So either I turn back and go to sleep, or I go in and probably die." Grif thought to himself. "Decisions, decisions."

One of the wolves then took a step towards the bunny, but soon found itself launched to the ground by Grif.

"This was a bad idea." Grif said to himself.

"Stay here." Eyha said.

Eyha ran to the bunny and took it out of the ground and tossed it over the wolves into a bush. Instead of giving chase again, the wolves looked over at Eyha and Grif, hunger in their eyes. The largest wolf then howled and started to close in on Grif.

"This was a horrible fucking idea." Grif yelled.

"Agreed." Eyha yelled back.

O'Malley's Goodbye Gift

Little Sin had just been launched from the cannon.

"Was Little Sin's recipe the only reason you wanted me?"

"No, silly. That was just a prank we were going to pull on Eyha. Follow me upstairs, I need your help with the babies."

Cabooses ears perked up and his pupils slowly started to dilate.

"Caboose, do you want to come meet the babies?" Pinkie asked.

Caboose stared at her and his eyes were nearly completely black.

"No." Caboose said, voice deep and raspy. "I am quite fine here, thank you."

Fluttershy stared at Caboose and felt a wave of unease pass through her and she shuddered. Pinkie eyed Caboose curiously.

"Okay then..." Pinkie said slowly, making her way to the stairs.

"What happened to Caboose?" Fluttershy asked, voice shaking. "He seemed... strange back there."

"Oh, don't worry about him. He's just playing a game." Pinkie said happily, then tightened her smile. "I think."

Fluttershy looked down the stairs at Caboose who was staring out the window, his fur seemingly darkening.

"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.

Caboose then shook his head and his eyes and fur went back to normal.

"No, I'm Caboose." Caboose said with a smile, voice back to normal pitch.

Fluttershy smiled at Caboose, then made her way to the room where Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake were asleep.

"What do you need my help with?" Fluttershy asked, smiling at the sleeping foals. "They seem to be okay to me."

"Oh, I know." Pinkie said. "It's just that their first birthday is coming up soon, so I wanted you to help me plan the party."

"I would be happy to help." Fluttershy said. "What do you need me to do?"

"I want you to bring some animals so there could be a small petting zoo for them to play in." Pinkie said.

"That sounds nice." Fluttershy said with a smile. "I'll try my best."

"That's all I could hope for." Pinkie said.

The two girls then made their way down the stairs and the door suddenly swung open. Angel had somehow opened the door, sweating profusely.

"Angel, what's wrong?" Fluttershy gasped. "Where is Grif?"

Angel shook his head and started out the door, not turning back. Fluttershy’s instincts told her to not ask questions, immediately starting to follow Angel. Pinkie then shuddered violently.

"There’s a doozy a-coming." Pinkie said, running out the door.

"How do you know?" Caboose asked, galloping after Pinkie.

"My Pinkie sense told me so." Pinkie said.

Angel stopped at the entrance to the Everfree forest and started pointing inside. Fluttershy stared worriedly inside. "He went in there? Doesn't he know dangerous it is in there?"

Pinkie and Caboose then caught up to Fluttershy, noting the extremely worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?" Pinkie asked.

"Grif went into the Everfree forest." Fluttershy replied.

"We need to get the others." Pinkie gasped. "Caboose, you go get Twilight Church, and Tody. I'll go get Applejack and Rarity. Fluttershy, you go find Rainbow Dash. Meet back here as soon as you find them. We'll need as much help as we can get."

Fluttershy nodded and started flying towards where Rainbow Dash lives. Pinkie Pie started to run towards Sweet Apple Acres. Caboose looked at the forest and then ran off in a random direction, thinking he was going to the library.

"Let go you fucker." Grif yelled, kicking off a timberwolf that was biting on his leg. "Screw it, I'm just going to run."

"I think I like that idea too." Eyha said, kicking a timbewolf in the face. He hadn't sustained any wounds, but he was still having trouble fighting them off.

And with that, Grif and Eyha lunged forward to escape the predators. He glanced around at the trees, no discernible path, he kept running in a straight line.

"Where the fuck are we going?" Eyha asked

"I don't know." Grif yelled.

He knew that the timberwolves were going to catch up to him and it was only a matter of time. Then he remembered something. "I have wings. Why am I running?"

Eyha looked at Grif. "Why the hell didn't one of us think of that earlier? Let's go."

Grif and Eyha then focused on their wings and flapped once, shooting through the tree branches into the air and making cuts on their bodies. Another flap of his wings and they soared above the tree line.

"Woah. This is awesome!" Grif exclaimed. "I'll never have to walk again."

"From what I here, you didn't anyway." Eyha said

He then straightened his wings and stared straight down.

"Now how the hell do I go back down..." Grif muttered. Grif retracted his wings and started to spiral towards the ground. "Not my best day." Grif grunted before slamming his face on the ground.

"You've got to be kidding me." Eyha said as he lowered himself cautiously. He looked over to see Grif lying on the ground, wounds all over him. He wasn't looking too good. "Grif!" Eyha exclaimed as he went over to him.

Grif tried to stand up but fell over in a daze. He looked at his body and saw that his wings had bite marks on them, and there was the occasional chunk missing from his back legs.

"They got me more than I thought." Grif said, laughing weakly. "Ow, my body."

"We need to get out of here. Can you walk?"

Grif was about to reply when they then heard another branch snap and glanced to where the noise was coming from. There was a pony in a robe standing still, watching from a distance. Grif sighed and collapsed on the ground from blood loss, Eyha not knowing what to do about the situation. Back at the entrance to the forest, all the ponies were gathered, all staring nervously at the forest.

"Why did he run in there?" Applejack asked. "Doesn't he know how dangerous it is in there?"

"Um, how dangerous are we talking here?" Tody asked.

"There are all sorts of deadly predators in there." Pinkie said.

"Has anyone seen Eyha?" Fluttershy asked.

"Not since he left." Little Sin said.

"Oh, I hope he didn't go in there with Grif." Fluttershy said warily.

"I do." Tivos said. "If anyone can guard somebody, it's Eyha."

"Well nobody could be as clueless as Grif." Sarge remarked. "Let's go."

"You really care about Grif, don't you Sarge?" Twilight asked.

"As lazy as that son of a bitch is, he is still one of my men. Besides, Grif and I both know that I am going to be the one that will be the death of him."

"We should hurry, it looks like the sun will be setting soon." Simmons remarked.

The group nodded in agreement and started to make their way into the forest to find Grif.

Resilient

The group was slowly following hoof tracks, presumably made by Grif, but they soon noticed that their was two pairs of tracks.

"Was he with somebody?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Eyha went back to my place after he came with me to Pinkie's. He could have followed him in." Fluttershy said.

"That's actually good." Enolc commented. "Your friend probably couldn't have gotten too hurt with Eyha with him."

"I hope not." Fluttershy said.

As they got deeper into the forest, more and more prints started to appear.

"Are those..." Rarity said quietly.

"I think so." Twilight confirmed. "Timberwolves."

"What the fuck is a timberwolf?" Tucker asked.

"Timberwolves are a subspecies of the canine family. They have the appearance of a wolf, but they are made out of wood. They are generally bigger than other wolves and their barkish hide makes them more impervious to damage."

"Suddenly I don't feel like being in here." Simmons said.

A low growl was heard coming from their left. Their eyes snapped to the darkness where there was a pair of yellow eyes watching them.

"Stay close to each other." Twilight gulped. "They won't attack us if our group is larger than theirs."

The animal then barked and jumped out of the bushes. It was not a timberwolf, but rather a friendlier canine.

"Haley." Fluttershy squeaked. "What happened?"

Haley barked and started to follow the hoof tracks and the group followed quickly. Haley slowed down and whined.

"What's wrong girl?" Fluttershy asked.

Haley looked at Fluttershy sadly, then back at the ground. There were tufts of orange-yellow fur, and specks of blood flecked across the ground. The girls gasped but the guys just stared at the scene indifferently.

"Looks like Eyha's honour guard skills didn't pay off too well." Tody added.

"Quit your worrying." Sarge said, laughing weakly. "Grif is a resilient bastard. There's no way he could die by a couple of wild dogs."

"I wouldn't worry about Eyha either. I don't see any of his fur on the ground which probably means that he escaped without harm." Tivos said.

The girls regained some of their confidence and nodded in unison. The group then followed the tracks until they suddenly disappeared. Sarge stared at the tracks for several seconds then looked up.

"Oh no." Rarity gasped.

Sarge said nothing but pointed up in the trees, where there was a gaping hole and tree branches splintered everywhere.

"Did either of them every try to fly before?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Eyha just got here like the rest of us, so unless one of you've given him flying lessons then no." Little Sin said.

"When Grif was with me he seemed content to be on the ground." Fluttershy noted.

"As much as it pains me to say, Grif is a fast learner when it suits him." Sarge grunted. "Come on, we're burning daylight."

"We don't know where they went though, or if they're even together." Twilight said. "How are we supposed to-"

A cough was heard from beside them, and they quickly turned to see a zebra in a robe staring at the group. Before any of the guys could react, Twilight spoke. "Zecora! We need your help, a couple of our friends came in to the-"

"You need not tell me of information I already know. I am keeping them safe. Let us go."

Twilight nodded and the group followed her lead and went with Zecora. It only took them a minute to get to Zecora’s hut, where she opened the door and motioned them inside.

"Where is Grif?" Simmons asked.

"He is asleep on my bed, though he is hard of breath." Zecora said somberly. "It is hard to tell now, but this may end in either life... or death."

The mares gasped, but once again the stallions stared indifferently. They found themselves uneasy about how well the guys were taking the news while Zecora left the room to check on Grif.

"Does she always speak in rhymes?" Tucker asked quietly.

"Yes." Twilight replied.

"That won't get annoying." Kerzon muttered sarcastically.

Zecora then came back out of the room with a smile on her face, Eyha follwing behind her. She looked at Kerzon's head.

"Fascinating." Zecora said to herself. Kerzon simply gave her a quizzical look.

"How is he doc?" Caboose asked.

"Your one friend is perfectly alright, though I advise you to stay out." Zecora said. "It will be a matter of time until the other can run and shout."

"Hey, Eyha." Little Sin started. "I understand you are in no condition to troll, so-"

"I'm fine you idiot. I was just cut up a bit from some trees. You'll be in for it soon."

"Let me go see him." Sarge laughed, walking towards the door. "I'll show you that Grif is perfectly okay, he is just being lazy as usual."

"No, the young stallion needs his rest." Zecora said. "All we can do now is hope for the best."

"Listen Zecoran." Sarge started.

"Zecora." Twilight corrected.

"Listen Zecora." Sarge grunted. "You don't know Grif. That bastard has survived far more than any man could hope to endure. I've shot him, he's exploded, he has fallen off of a damn cliff and he is still kicking. I'm sure he's fine."

"Even so, we must let his fresh wounds mend." Zecora said. "The pain of a timberwolf bite will be hard for your yellow friend."

As she said that the door to the room swung open slowly.

"How many times do I have to say it." Grif said weakly. "I'm fucking orange."

Sarge laughed cruelly at the sight of Grif.

"Good to see you too Sarge." Grif muttered, coughing up a little blood.

Eyha walked up and stood beside Grif. "We had a hell of a time with those... Whatever they were. Grif took in the action more than I did but we'll both be okay."

The others stared at his body, looking at all of the scars and pieces missing out of him.

"How are you standing?" Twilight gasped.

"Sarge has put me through far worse than this." Grif said with a weak laugh. "It will take a lot more than a few wild dogs to keep me down."

"Told you so." Sarge said smugly. "Grif is pretty tough."

Sarge punched Grif in the gut and he fell to the ground.

"Fuck, my kidney." Grif grunted.

"Man up." Sarge said, smiling wickedly.

Grif laughed and gritted his teeth through the pain.

"Go fuck yourself Sarge." Grif said with a grating laugh.

"You two are horrible." Rarity said. "How can you two even call yourself friends?"

Grif and Sarge stared at Rarity. Then they glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

"Good one Rarity." Grif said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Well, will you look at that." Enolc said.

"What?" Grif asked.

"You got your mark thing." Enolc said, trying to hide a laugh.

"Really? Cool, what is it?" Grif asked.

Sarge burst out with laughter.

"That just made my life." Sarge said, rolling helplessly on the ground. "I should have guessed it would be something like that."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this..." Grif muttered, turning his head to look at his cutie mark and groaned. "Really? That is my "special skill"? This fucking sucks."

"I say it fits you perfectly." Sarge said smugly.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"I guess you could say it shows how resilient he is." Simmons noted.

"Back where we're from, that symbol is something we put on crash test dummies." Sarge said with a large grin.

Good Sleep

Grif left the building and sat outside as the other guys were making fun of him, Eyha and Fluttershy following close behind him. There was a clear view of the sunset and Grif felt oddly at ease. Fluttershy and Eyha sat with him, staying silent as they all watched the sun set. Eyha could tell by the mood that it would probably be best to go back inside, so he silently got up and walked away.

"I'll leave you guys to talk for a bit." He said. "I'm gonna go screw with Tody or something."

After Eyha left, the two watched the sunset for a while.

"It’s so beautiful." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah, I never really took the time to watch the sun go down from where I'm from." Grif said. "Now that I think about it, I don't even remember the sun moving. It really makes you feel at peace."

Fluttershy raised her brow then frowned as she looked at Grif’s tattered appearance.

"Does it hurt?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"It fucking kills." Grif said with a laugh, then he shrugged. "But I've lived through worse."

"How do you do it?" Fluttershy asked.

"How do I do what?" Grif asked in return.

"Everything." Fluttershy said. "You look like you should be in the hospital, but here you are outside, watching the sun set. Maybe we should get you checked at the hospital."

"Stop worrying about me." Grif said. "I'll be perfectly fine, I just really need some sleep. My body may appear to say otherwise, but I am perfectly fine."

Fluttershy nodded then hugged Grif tightly. Grif stared at Fluttershy with a confused expression.

"Uh, what was that for?" Grif asked.

"For going out of your way to save Angel." Fluttershy said.

"Don't mention it." Grif said, blushing slightly. "You know, I can't take all of the credit. Eyha was a big help. He did a lot keeping them off of me."

"I really do appreciate it though. I mean, look at you. You seem to be in a lot of pain and I feel like you are trying to hide what you are feeling."

"The only thing I felt was guilt." Grif admitted with a weak laugh. "I fell asleep while watching the animals. If I had stayed awake then none of this would have-"

Fluttershy leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Grif was taken aback and flinched. Fluttershy pulled her head back and she blushed deeply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do tha-" Fluttershy gasped.

"Don't worry about it." Grif coughed awkwardly. "We've all had a long day. Let's go tell the others we're ready to go."

"Okay." Fluttershy said, her cheeks deepening in color.

Grif then got up and limped to the door. Fluttershy got up and took some of his burden by placing his foreleg around her neck. Grif let out a brief smile, then shook it off and opened the door.

"Alright, you guys ready to get moving?" Grif asked.

All of them nodded and made their way out the door. Once all the others left, Grif looked at Zecora.

"Listen, uh, Zecora. I just wanted to say thank you."

Zecora looked at Grif and nodded before she walked in to the next room. Grif then went outside with the others and they made their way back the way they came. Grif limped at a steady pace thanks to Fluttershy and Eyha carrying him along. The group saw that they were being watched by the timberwolves and Grif couldn't help but feel that they were watching him specifically.

"Pick up the pace Grif." Sarge grunted. "We're almost there and I don't like the way they're watching us."

"Yeah, because being watched by them is so much worse than being attacked by them." Grif grunted, trying to speed up.

They finally got out of the forest and they said their goodbyes, leaving Fluttershy, Eyha, and Grif alone.

"I can't wait to get some more sleep..." Grif groaned quietly.

"Tell me about it." Eyha said.

Fluttershy smiled and her and Eyha slowly aided Grif to her house with Haley by his side. She opened the door and Grif took his leg away from them and started to limp to the couch. Fluttershy walked slightly faster and blocked him.

"You go sleep in my bed... if you want to, that is." Fluttershy said quietly. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"Are you sure?" Grif asked hesitantly.

"You are pretty hurt, Grif. You should sleep in a comfortable place." Eyha said.

"Yes, you need a good night’s rest." Fluttershy said.

"Okay, sweet." Grif said, walking into her bedroom. "Thanks. G'night Fluttershy. G'night Eyha."

"Good night Grif." Fluttershy said happily.

"Peace." Eyha said.

Grif looked back at Fluttershy who was climbing on the couch, trying to get comfortable. Eyha walking over to his resting place. Grif smiled and then went to close the door behind him, but Angel ran up to Grif and hugged his leg and he smiled.

"You're... welcome?" Grif asked.

Angel looked up at Grif and closed his eyes and then ran to the couch and curled up next to Fluttershy. Grif yawned as Haley ran through the door and jumped on the bed and instantly fell asleep. "You've got the right idea." Grif said, jumping onto the bed.

It took Grif only a few seconds to fall asleep in the bed, which was currently the comfiest place he could ever dream of sleeping on.

Grif woke up to find that Fluttershy was standing next to him with a bowl. Grif groaned as he propped himself up.

"Ugh, my back is so damn stiff." Grif muttered sourly.

Fluttershy said nothing as she propped a wooden tray over him then placed the bowl on it.

"Uh, thanks?" Grif said.

Fluttershy smiled, and Grif noticed that her cheeks were a brilliant shade of crimson. She squeaked when she saw that he’d recognized this, and hurried out of the room, leaving Grif alone with his soup.

Eyha soon walked in after. "How are you holding up?" He asked.

"Pretty good. Back is stiff as hell though." Grif said.

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy out there. I'm a bit stiff myself." Eyha said.

"You know, thanks for helping me out over there. Nobody really cares to help me when Sarge is shooting me, or hitting me with his shotgun or whatever."

Grif finished it quickly, finding himself hungrier than he had thought he was.

"Jesus I'm hungry. Where'd Fluttershy run off to?"

"She's in the other room." Eyha replied.

Grif got off the bed and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His scars seem to have been treated and the more serious wounds were patched up. He groaned and left the room and Fluttershy was sitting on the couch with Angel.

"I'm glad to see you are up." Fluttershy said. "You were so... dead... to the world."

"How long was I asleep?" Grif asked.

"It was about seven in the evening when we got back, and it is almost noon now." Eyha said.

"I hope you don't mind, but I went in and patched up some of your wounds last night." Fluttershy said.

"I don't mind at all. Thanks for patching me up."

"Not at all." Fluttershy said with a smile. "I like helping ponies just as much as I like helping animals."

"What a coincidence." Grif said with a laugh. "I love being helped."

Pre-Party Party

Church, Tody, and Twilight were sitting downstairs having a light breakfast when they heard a knock on the door. Twilight opened the door to be greeted by a flurry of balloons being launched at her. When the bombardment stopped, she looked up to see Pinkie with an abnormally large grin.

"Twilight!" Pinkie yelled. "Isn't it the most awesomeicious stupenderific thing ever?"

"What are you talking about." Twilight asked.

"It's the Cake twins’ birthday tomorrow!" Pinkie said, giddy with anticipation. "They're turning one year old."

"Oh right." Twilight said. "Then what are you doing here right now? Shouldn't you wait until tomorrow to have the party."

"Haven't you heard of a pre-party party?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes but smiled.

"It will be a pretty small party if it's just you, me, Tody, and Church." Twilight said.

"Don't be silly Twi, I brought Caboose and Little Sin." Pinkie said.

"Hello." Caboose said, seemingly appearing from behind Twilight. Little Sin fell from the ceiling and landed in front of Twilight.

"How did you two get in?" Twilight asked.

"It's our little secret." Pinkie answered for them.

Church finished eating and left the kitchen to see what was happening.

"Church!" Caboose yelled, running around Church.

"Hey Caboose." Church said, confused. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We're throwing a pre-party party." Little Sin said.

"Okay then." Church said. "I've never heard of a pre-party party."

"Neither have I." Caboose said with excitement. "I am so excited I could just keep running."

"I can already tell that this is going to be inconceivably stupid." Tody said flatly.

Caboose kept running in circles around Church until Church got slightly annoyed.

"Caboose. Stop running." Church said.

"Okay." Caboose said, coming to a screeching halt.

"Geez, you're a party pooper." Pinkie said jokingly.

"You can poop parties?" Caboose gasped. "That sounds amaz-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Little Sin yelled.

"Is it just going to be the six of us?" Tody asked.

"Of course not silly, you're going to get the others with Caboose while me and Twilight set up." Pinkie said.

"I don't remember volunteering for this." Church said.

"Neither do I." Tody added.

"Caboose was kind enough to volunteer your time." Pinkie said happily.

"Great." Church said sarcastically. "Thank you Caboose."

"See, I told you he would be happy!" Caboose said.

"Alright, let's make this quick though." Church grunted.

"Okay!" Caboose said, galloping out the door.

Church looked to Twilight and Tody and the shrugged. Church then followed Caboose grudgingly. It took them a couple hours to tell the others, but eventually they all made their way back to the library.

"You're looking better." Simmons said to Grif.

"I feel better." Grif said. "Too bad you still look like shit."

"You're an asshole, you know that." Simmons said.

"Grif, don't disrespect others." Sarge said. "That's my job."

"I learned it from watching you!" Grif said over-dramatically.

The others then started to laugh and they then found themselves in front of the library where the door shot open and Caboose ran inside.

"Hi everypony!" Pinkie said happily. "Are you ready to pre-par-tay?"

"Totally!" Tucker said. "It's been awhile since I've been to a pre-party."

"You're kidding, right?" Church said.

"Fuck no man." Tucker said.

"W-wait a second. You've never been to a pre-party party?" Kerzon asked Church.

Church face hooved as he shook his head.

"I knew you were lame." Tucker laughed.

"I gotta go with Tucker on this one. You are pretty lame." Kerzon said.

"Fuck you guys."

"Sorry, I know you like dudes. But-" Tucker started.

"Tucker how are your balls feeling right now?" Church grunted, tensing his back leg.

Tucker glared at Church then decided to not say anything as they all made their way inside the library.

"So what is this party for exactly?" Simmons said, looking around.

"The Cakes had twins one year ago tomorrow!" Pinkie said.

Sarge squinted at Caboose, who was drawing on a piece of paper.

"So you have babies living in the same building as Caboose?" Sarge asked nervously.

"Well yeah, babies can't live on their own you silly!" Pinkie replied.

"Right." Sarge said, still watching Caboose. "What are you doing Caboose?"

"I am drawing a picture!" Caboose said. "It is hard to grab the crayons though."

"That's because you don't have any fingers." Tucker said.

"Oh my god, they took my hands!" Caboose yelled. "Ohhhhh, never mind, I remember now."

Church let out a deep sigh and glanced at the other stallions.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..." Church said to himself.

Tody laughed lightly as he walked over to Church, who was now smiling.

"Tell me about it." Tody said.

"What?" Church asked.

"I completely know how you feel. Eyha is a troll, Enolc is too sensitive, Kerzon is a self obsessed idiot, Little Sin is incomprehensibly annoying, and Tivos is a geek. I'm surrounded by idiots as well."

"I hope ya don't mind me askin'." Applejack said. "But why do you guys always seem to be at each others throats?"

"We're not at each other's throats." Tody said.

"But ya'll are always yellin' at each other..." Applejack said.

"Some things are just hard wired." Church said, without realizing the slight irony of his statement.

"Look Church, I made a picture of us!" Caboose yelled.

Caboose ran up to Church, holding a piece of paper in his teeth. There were two crudely drawn stick horses, one being blue and the other being light blue. Church looked at it and smiled awkwardly.

"Uh, thanks Caboose." Church said, grabbing it from him. "It looks... good?"

"Thank you Church! Hey wait, what if my special talent is drawing?" Caboose said looking at his blank flank.

"Wow." Tody said.

"I don't know Caboose." Tucker said sarcastically. "I think eating crayons would be more your speed."

"Hey, yeah! I've always wondered what they tasted like!" Caboose said.

Caboose then ran to one of the crayons and tossed it in his mouth and bit it before anypony could stop him. He promptly spat it out and ran to the punch bowl and grabbed a drink. He then looked at his flank and frowned.

"Nope, that's not it." Caboose said. "They taste pretty bad."

"Maybe it’s being an idiot." Tucker said. "You seem to be pretty good at that."

"Maybe yours is being hit in the balls." Church said to Tucker. "You seem to be pretty good at that."

"Alright everypony, just settle down." Twilight said.

"Yeah, let's get this party started!" Pinkie yelled, slamming her hoof on the boombox which started playing music.

Warning

Church stood watching Pinkie and Caboose dance awkwardly for a while, then decided he would take a breather and take a step outside and Tucker followed.

"Pretty boring party, eh Church?" Tucker said. "If only we could get some actual drinks here, then it would be a party."

"Yeah." Church laughed. "How is it going with Rainbow Dash? She still crushing your balls?"

"Not recently." Tucker said, chuckling lightly. "But it's pretty good man. She is quick tempered, but at least she isn’t Tex. How is staying with Twilight and Tody?"

"It's alright I guess." Church sighed while looking at the moon.

Tucker stared at Church in silence for a bit. "You miss her, don't you?" Tucker asked abruptly.

"Of course I do you fucking idiot." Church muttered.

"Why don't you just forget her?" Tucker asked.

"I tried. Before Caboose forced me out I tried to let her go." Church said, then looked at the ground. "But no matter what, it's not enough in the end. I've tried loving her, I've tried to forget her but neither of those worked."

"Maybe you are supposed to do something else." Tucker suggested.

"No fucking shit. Do you have any other wonderful observations?"

"Hey man, no need to be a dick. I'm just trying to help."

"Tucker and help aren't exactly things you expect to hear being put together on a day to day basis." Church retorted.

"Whatever man. Quit being so fucking mopey."

"I don't exactly have a lot to be happy about these days." Church muttered.

"I know something that might make you happy." Tucker said.

"Oh yeah?" Church asked. "And what would that be?"

Tucker pointed to a window and Church looked inside to see everypony laughing. Caboose was holding hooves with Pinkie with a big smile on his face.

"As much of a pain in the ass Caboose is, I have to say he seems to be really happy here. Everybody does. Those aliens just got here and from what I can tell they are pretty cool too." Tucker said. "But Caboose is probably the happiest I've ever seen him, and I'm kind of happy for him."

"You're happy for Caboose?" Church asked with a laugh.

"I know man, it surprised the fuck out of me too." Tucker said. "This place is just too damn happy to hate anything. And honestly, look at Caboose and tell me you don't feel happy for him."

Church then looked at his hooves and glanced at the drawing and he started to smile.

"You're right. I am kind of happy for him." Church said, then sighed. "Hey Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"What the hell are you guys doing out here? There's no strobe lights and no sluts, but its good enough for me. C'mon." Kerzon said before he closed the door and went back inside.

Church and Tucker then went back into the library.

"So is there anything fun to do around here besides party?" Grif asked. "Not that partying is a bad thing to do."

"Well, you could borrow one of my books if you want." Twilight said.

"Uh, no thanks, I'm not an egghead." Grif said. "Simmons might be interested though, he's pretty fucking boring."

"Fuck you Grif." Simmons said.

"Yeah, you wish." Grif said smugly, sipping on a glass of punch. "So just books? Anything other than that?"

"You could always give Cloudsdale a try." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sure the aerial sports teams wouldn't mind using you for practice."

"Forget I said anything." Grif muttered.

"You don't need to do a lot of things to have fun." Fluttershy said quietly. "The most fun I have is when I sit around with my animal friends and watch them play with each other."

Grif looked at Fluttershy and smiled tightly. Sarge glanced at Grif and hit him in the shoulder lightly and winked. Grif shook his head and glared at Sarge, though a goofy smile was glued to his muzzle.

"So, um. Kerzon was it?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah. What's up toots?" Kerzon said.

"My name is Rarity. I had some questions about Tivos that I was hoping you could answer."

"Tivos?" Kerzon laughed. "What do you want to know about him?"

"Well, Tivos, Simmons, and myself were enjoying some time together at the cafe. Everything was doing very nicely until I asked Tivos about himself."

"Oh, I understand. Was it boring?" Kerzon asked.

"No, it was quite entertaining actually, me and Simmons were quite interested. He told us about you and him growing up together and joining something called the covy-net. I don't exactly remember the name-"

"I think you're talking about the Covenant." Kerzon said.

"Exactly. He mentioned something about a war when he-"

"He told you about the war?" Kerzon asked boldly.

"Yes, it seemed to be a sensitive topic for him to-"

"It is, and I would appreciate it if we didn't talk about it." Kerzon interrupted

"Are you sure?" Rarity asked

"Yes." Kerzon said abruptly, much like Tivos did.

"So what's going to be happening at the party tomorrow?" Church asked. "Is it going to be the same thing as this?"

"Don't be silly." Pinkie said. "How would little foals have fun at an adult pony party like this?"

Church looked over at Twilight who shrugged lazily. Sarge then glanced over at Caboose who was standing idly, not listening to the conversation.

"Hey Caboose?" Sarge muttered.

"Yes Sarge?" Caboose asked.

"Are you going to see the little ones at the party tomorrow?" Sarge asked.

"Of course I am! I wouldn't ever miss a Pinkie party!" Caboose said.

"Uh-huh." Sarge grunted. "Pinkie, mind coming outside? I need to tell you something."

"Okay Sarge." Pinkie said, hopping out the door, Sarge close behind her, closing the door behind them.

"What did you want to tell me?" Pinkie asked.

"Has Caboose met the babies yet?" Sarge asked quietly.

"No." Pinkie said, confused. "When I asked him if he wanted to meet them he started acting strange. His eyes were really scary and there was something else..."

"His voice changed, right?" Sarge asked nervously.

"Yeah. How did you know?" Pinkie asked.

"You don't want to know." Sarge said. "All you need to know is that Caboose should not go to the party tomorrow."

"Why is that, silly?" Pinkie asked.

"It is hard to explain, but it's not just his appearance that changes." Sarge said.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked.

"Long story short he goes crazy." Sarge said. "And not regular Caboose crazy. Dangerous crazy."

"Caboose? Dangerous? You must be confusing him for somepony else." Pinkie said.

Sarge stared at Pinkie, who just sat there smiling innocently.

"Never mind, just forget I said anything." Sarge said. "Go back in and have some punch."

"Great idea." Pinkie said happily, walking back into the punch bowl.

Sarge looked through the doorway at Caboose who was walking around and laughing with Little Sin. Sarge worried for what Caboose would do to the babies so he sighed and slowly walked up to Caboose.

"Hey Caboose." Sarge said quietly. "I need to tell you something but it is a secret. Want to hear it?"

"Sure." Caboose said.

"Alright, but we need to whisper, we don't want the others to hear." Sarge whispered.

"Oh that kind of secret." Caboose whispered back. "What is the secret?"

"Pinkie just told me that the party is going to be somewhere else tomorrow, so I need you to come to the farm and we’ll go together, okay?" Sarge said even more quietly. "Just don't tell anybody."

"Okay Sarge!" Caboose whispered back, not thinking of questioning him.

Self Taught

Everypony left the library after a couple more hours of partying. Tucker, Kerzon, and Rainbow started to fly back to her place.

"Did you like the party?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I've been to better." Tucker shrugged. "But it was fun."

"There was no sluts." Kerzon said.

"I was wondering, how did you even learn to fly, Kerzon? I didn't teach you. And you flew to the party and your doing it now." Rainbow Dash asked.

"I am a pilot. I know how aerodynamics work. It was pretty easy to teach myself how to do it." Kerzon said back. "I must admit though, the party was a bit boring. But it was all right I guess.

"Pinkie’s parties will grow on you." Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe." Tucker said. "So what are we going to do to get those tickets?"

"Tickets? Oh, the Wonderbolts. I completely forgot about them." Rainbow Dash admitted. "We still have a couple days until then, we'll just have to try to find some work tomorrow. Hey, why don't you come and help out, Kerzon? You could come to the show with us too."

"I already told Tucks I'd help." Kerzon said.

"What about the party?" Tucker asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and sighed sadly.

"It would make Pinkie sad if we didn't show up..." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"So there is what? Four days until the show?" Tucker asked. "That should be enough time with the three of us working to make the money."

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash said, starting cheer up. "It will just be extremely hard."

"Bow-chika-bow-wow." Kerzon and Tucker said simultaneously. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Great. Now I have two Tuckers around here." Ranbow Dash said. "I really hope we get to see them. And hopefully they will remember me."

"Remember you? You've met them? That's pretty cool." Tucker said

"I didn't just meet them." Rainbow Dash said smugly. "I saved their lives."

"You saved their lives? Of course they're going to remember you if you fucking saved them." Tucker said

"It wasn't really a question, I was just thinking out loud."

"If they don't remember you after you saved them that's serious douchebaggery. Just saying." Kerzon said.

"Okay." Tucker said. "Anyways, do you know any place that has a job opening?"

"None come to mind. But we can worry about that later. I want to go to bed so I can be well rested for tomorrow."

"Maybe we can see if any of your friends have any odd jobs to do or maybe some spare cash." Kerzon said.

"Maybe."

Tucker and Rainbow Dash then arrived back at her place and they went straight to sleep. Kerzon was left alone. He decided to do some more flight practice.

Rainbow Dash awoke the next morning to find that Tucker wasn't in the bed. She sat up and looked around and couldn't see any sign of him. She rubbed her eyes and opened the bathroom door to take a shower. As she lowered her hooves from her eyes, she saw Tucker stepping out of the shower. Rainbow Dash yelped and slammed the door shut. Tucker chuckled and dried himself up and opened the door.

"Do you have any idea how rude it is to come in unannounced?" Tucker asked sarcastically.

Rainbow Dash glared at Tucker and he laughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in there." Rainbow Dash said while blushing. "I didn't mean to walk in on you."

"Sure you didn't." Tucker laughed. "I know that you wanted to catch a glimpse of mini-Tuck."

"Yeah I totally wanted to be scarred for life." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"That's a shame. Alright, so are we going to the party or what?"

"Yeah, just give me some time to shower." Rainbow Dash muttered. "And if you need me you better knock."

"Are you saying I look like a gentlecolt who doesn't respect privacy?" Tucker asked, smiling sweetly

"Bite me." Rainbow Dash grunted.

Kerzon bolted threw the window with his wings and a magnificent spiral of flames exploded around him as he twirled in mid air.

"Woo-hoo!" He yelled as he landed on the floor. "Did you just walk in on him while he was showering? Shit girl, you feisty." Kerzon looked at them. They simply stared at him.

Kerzon started to laugh.

"Holy shit." Tucker said.

"Where did you learn a trick like that?" Rainbow Dash asked, surprised.

"I've been up all night practising my flying. I'm actually gettin' the hang of this shit." Kerzon said.

"You taught yourself?" Rainbow Dash asked, slightly impressed.

"Yeah."

"Wait, have you even slept yet?" Tucker asked.

"No." Kerzon said.

"Dude how are you going to go Pinkie's party if you haven't slept?" Tucker asked.

Kerzon laughed. "I do this all the time, relax. Me and Little Sin can go for days without sleep."

"Whatever." Tucker said.

Back at Sugarcube corner Caboose woke up and started to get out of the bed. This woke Pinkie and Little Sin up and they yawned.

"Watcha' doing Caboose?" Pinkie said.

"It's a secret." Caboose said quietly.

"A secret?" Little Sin asked. "I love secrets!"

"So do I!" Caboose said happily.

Pinkie then jumped off the bed and grabbed Cabooses leg.

"Can you tell me the secret?" Pinkie asked. "Pretty please."

"Me too, Caboose!" Little Sin said.

"I don't know, Sarge told me to not tell anyone that I was going to the farm." Caboose said.

"You're going to the farm?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes." Caboose gasped. "How did you know? Can you read minds?"

"Holy shit, I think she can. Can you read my mind?" Little Sin asked.

"No, Silly. I can't. Why are you going to the farm?" Pinkie asked.

"Sarge told me that you told him and he told me that you moved the party somewhere else so we were going to go there together." Caboose said.

"That is a great idea!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"I know, Sarge is nice to walk with me there." Caboose said happily.

"No I mean we should move the party to the farm!" Pinkie said. "That would give Fluttershy’s animal friends lots of room to walk around!"

"That is an amazing idea!" Caboose said. "I will go tell Sarge!"

"I'll come with you, Caboose. I haven't seen Enolc in a while. I'll be the one to tell him." Little Sin said.

"Okay. I'll go get the others. And thank Sarge for me, okay?" Pinkie said.

"Will do Pinkie!" Caboose said.

Caboose and Little Sin then went down the stairs and out the door and made their way to the farm. When they got there, Sarge was lying down under a tree with his stetson over his face.

"Good morning Sarge." Caboose said, running up to him. Little Sin went into the barn to find Enolc.

"Good morning to you too blue." Sarge said.

Sarge took the hat off his face and placed it on his head then stood up.

"You look like a cowboy horse!" Caboose exclaimed. "Wait if you're a horse does that mean you ride a cowboy when you play?"

Sarge laughed slightly then shook his head. "Alright you ready to go?"

"Yes Sarge!" Caboose said, saluting weirdly. "And Pinkie told me to thank you."

"Thank me for what?" Sarge asked, confused.

"For letting us have the party here." Caboose said happily.

"You told her you were coming here?" Sarge asked with a mixture of nervousness and anger.

"No I didn't." Caboose said. "She is psychotic."

"It's psychic, and no she isn't." Sarge grunted.

Caboose looked at the ground and blinked.

"I think I told her I was coming here." Caboose said. "I'm sorry Sarge. I didn't mean to ruin the surprise party."

"I'll forgive you, I just need you to follow me in to the farm to set up." Sarge said.

"Okay." Caboose said as Sarge led Caboose into the barn.

"Okay you set up in there, and I'll go make sure nobody ruins the surprise." Sarge said.

"Good idea!" Caboose said, running into the barn.

Sarge then slammed the door and placed a piece of wood on it, locking Caboose in.

"This isn't going to be good..." Sarge muttered.

"What the hell was that?" Enolc said as Caboose entered the barn with Little Sin. He trotted towards the door and tried to open it.

"It's locked." He said. "Little Sin-"

"I'm way ahead of you." Little Sin pulled out his shotgun and started firing at the barn door.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop!" Enolc said.

"Why?" Little Sin asked.

"Do you have any idea how much money it'll take for the apple family to repair the barn if you blow fucking holes in it?" Enolc said. "It's already damaged baldy enough. Don't make it worse you idiot."

"So what are we just going to do nothing. I don't like the idea of nothing." He aimed his shotgun at the door again.

"Little Sin, stop." Enolc said as he walked in front of him and pressed his shotgun down.

Little Sin sighed and mounted his shotgun back on his back. "This time, you get what you want. But the next time somebody locks me inside a smelly barn, out comes the shotgun."

"If we stay here. The party will come." Caboose said.

"The party is coming here?." Enolc said.

"No silly, the party is going to be here." Caboose said.

"What?" Enolc said. After a few moments of confusion Enolc realized that it was futile. "Whatever. We're just going to wait here."

"Fine."

Change of Place

Sarge ran to the house and burst through the door. He found Applejack having breakfast and he walked up to her, eyes shifting from side to side. "Applejack. We have a problem." Sarge said bluntly.

"A problem?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, one that could destroy the farm as we know it." Sarge grunted dryly.

"What d'ya mean? What's the problem?" Applejack asked nervously.

"I told Caboose to come to the farm and he told Pinkie, now she wants to throw the party here." Sarge said.

"That's no problem, we have plenty of room for a party." Applejack said with a laugh.

"It ain't the party that is the real problem. It's Caboose." Sarge said

"Are you scared of Caboose?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, but not the Caboose you know." Sarge said.

"What could that sweet stallion do that makes you so nervous?" Applejack asked.

"A while back there was this AI that-" Sarge started.

"What is an AI?" Applejack asked, raising her brow.

"An artificial intelligence." Sarge said. "But there was this artificial intelligence named O'Malley and-"

"What in tarnation is an artificial intelligence?" Applejack asked.

Sarge did not know how to describe an AI. Sighing, he continued, "We'll just call it an evil spirit. So there was this evil spirit named O'Malley that found his way to where me and the blues were and started jumping in and out of our bodies to make us angry." Sarge explained. "But when he went into Caboose, it seems that he left something behind. When we were stuck in a strange place a while back, Caboose made himself get angry by thinking negative thoughts and he became this... demon. He managed to get us out. Last night I told him to come here, but I didn't plan on him telling the pink one"

"What made Caboose angry?" Applejack asked nervously.

"He started thinking about cats with spikes on them, but after he became angry he yelled that he hates babies." Sarge said. "I'm worried about what will happen if he sees them, and what he could do to them."

Back in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was going to everypony’s home to tell them about the change of plans. It only took her half an hour to gather all of them. Fluttershy stayed behind to gather all the animals.

"Does Applejack know we are going to be at the farm?" Twilight asked.

"Of course she does, Sarge must have told her!" Pinkie laughed.

"I don't know about that. Sarge doesn't like to include others in his plans." Grif said sourly. "When he does they usually involve trying to kill me." The girls started to giggle.

"I find it funny that they think you're joking." Simmons said quietly into Grif’s ear.

"Tell me about it." Grif said sourly, then started to laugh.

"Here we are." Twilight said. "Sweet Apple Acres, home of the Apple family."

Applejack and Sarge heard Twilight’s announcement. They shared a quick glance with each other before they went outside to greet them.

"Hey there everypony." Applejack said. "Where are the twins?"

"We can't bring the twins until we have made sure the party is all prepared." Pinkie said, hopping to the barn. "Say, why is this log in the door?"

Pinkie removed the wood and opened the door to be met with a barrage of pink and blue confettis. When the thin papers settled she saw Caboose, Enolc, and Little Sin sitting in the middle of the building with a party hats on.

"I feel so stupid." Enolc said.

"Never use mockery in the name of party accessories. And besides, you shouldn't have to feel it to know your stupid." Little Sin said.

"Shut up, Little Sin. We all remember the time you had sexual intercourse with your tactical console when you thought nobody was looking. It's okay." Enolc said smugly.

"I told you already, that was-"

"I don't remember seeing this stuff in here before I locked you i-, I mean uh, left you here to prepare." Sarge said. "Where did all of this stuff come from?"

"You told me to set up the party so I made some confetti and some hats." Caboose said, pointing to a table. "I even made some punch. Little Sin helped me with his super confetti powers too."

"How the hell did you manage to do that if you were in here with nothing?" Tucker asked.

Caboose, Little Sin, and Pinkie all shared a smile.

"It's a secret." Caboose said.

"Well, it looks like Caboose has everything under control." Pinkie said. "I'll go get the twins!"

Pinkie then hopped out the door. Sarge watched her while trying to think of something to prevent Caboose from meeting the babies. Applejack eyed Sarge who looked deep in thought.

"Hey Caboose." Applejack said. "Why don't ya have any snacks made? We are on an apple farm so you could have made some treats."

"I'm sorry." Caboose said sadly.

"Don't ya fret Caboose." Applejack said happily. "I can show you one of our families recipes that you can cook up faster than you can say lickety split."

"Lickety split." Caboose said simply.

"I want to come too!" Little Sin said.

"All right, Lil' Sin. But you gotta help us make the food."

"I'll make a sandvich." He said.

"Jesus, just to let you know, your in for it Applejack." Eyha said.

Applejack laughed, then looked at Sarge who was smiling at her, knowing what she was doing. She smiled back at him then started to leave the farm house.

"C'mon, I'll show you where the kitchen is." Applejack said, leaving the building.

"Okay." Caboose said.

"Your gonna love this." Little Sin said.

"Keep Little Sin away from the knives." Kerzon said as they left.

As Kezon finished his proclamation, Fluttershy walked into the barn with many small animals following her. The other ponies watched as Fluttershy corralled all the critters to the back of the barn. "I know I don't have to tell you but I need you to be on your best behavior." Fluttershy said to the animals. The animals then nodded as she turned and trotted up to the others. "I hope that the twins aren't afraid of them."

"I think there is a better chance of the twins scaring the animals." Twilight said with a laugh.

"I think I'm going to go help Applejack and the other two with the cooking." Sarge said.

"Sarge you don't seem like the kind of guy that would be in to cooking to me." Tucker scoffed.

"Someone has to make sure Caboose doesn't go and burn the place down." Sarge said with a smile.

Sarge suddenly sped up when he realized Caboose burning down the farm was more than likely.

"Sarge seems to be acting weird." Grif said.

"I know what you mean." Simmons said. "He seems very nervous for some reason."

"Maybe he's menstruating." Kerzon said with a laugh.

Relief

Sarge walked into the kitchen, where Granny Smith and Applejack were at the stove while Caboose was sitting at a table, mixing something together in a bowl. Little Sin was defying gravity and floating around the room in zero G.

"Sarge look! I'm helping!" Caboose said happily.

"And I'm defying physics!" Little Sin chimed.

"Uh, keep up the good work." Sarge said as he stared as Little Sin.

"Okay!" Caboose chirped.

"So what are you making?" Sarge asked.

"Apple family apple cake." Granny Smith said while slicing an apple.

"Didja come here to help?" Applejack asked.

"Just came to make sure that Caboose and his new friend hadn't destroyed anything." Sarge laughed.

"I'm sorry Sarge, I will try harder." Caboose said, now vigorously mixing the substance.

A moment later, Caboose stopped and looked in the bowl and frowned. "I'm sorry, I tried my hardest to make it explode." Caboose said sadly.

"I can make it explode!" Little Sin said.

Granny Smith walked up to the table and looked in the bowl and smiled.

"Why, you must be the best mixer I've done seen in my life." Granny Smith said happily, patting Caboose on the back.

"I'm the best you've seen?" Caboose gasped. "I am amazing."

"Good for you Caboose." Sarge said. "I'm gonna go use the stallion’s room."

"I can mix just as good as him." Little Sin mutterd in jealousy as he bumped his head on the ceiling.

Pinkie trotted towards the barn with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake sitting on her back. She burst through the door, humming lightly.

"Hey everypony, the party foals are here!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hey little guys." Enolc said while approaching Pinkie. "What are their names?"

"The cutesy-wootsy little unicorn is Pumpkin Cake, and the aww-dorable pegasus is Pound Cake." Pinkie said. She then turned and looked at the twins. "This is Enolc. Say hello to Enolc!"

The twins looked at Enolc and gurgled happily. This caused him to laugh.

"I like them already." Enolc said with a chuckle. "They seem to like me."

"Give it time." Eyha said.

Enolc glared at Eyha, then they both broke out laughing. Pinkie grabbed the twins and placed them on the floor near the animals.

"Where is Caboose and Sin?" Pinkie asked.

"They are in the kitchen baking with Applejack." Tody said. "I'm a bit worried, I haven't heard any screaming yet."

"I wonder what they're baking?" Pinkie asked.

"Why don't you go check? We'll keep an eye on the birthday twins." Twilight said.

"Okay." Pinkie said, hopping out the door.

Applejack pulled the cake out of the oven and started placing caramelized apples on the top. After she finished decorating, she cut the cake into slices and put one candle in two of the slices. Pinkie walked into the room and looked at the cake and started grinning.

"That looks delicious Granny Smith!" Pinkie exclaimed, running up to the cake.

"Thank ya' Pinkie." Granny Smith said. "Caboose was more than helpful with the baking though."

"I stirred a bowl!" Caboose said excitedly.

"Good job Caboose." Pinkie laughed. "How about we go and bring the cake to the twins!"

"I hope they like it." Applejack said.

"I'm sure they will." Pinkie assured her. "Let's go, I'm so excited right now."

Applejack grabbed the platter with the cake on it and left the kitchen. Pinkie, Little Sin and Caboose smiled and followed her out the door. Sarge returned to the room and looked around.

"Where did AJ and the other two go?" Sarge grunted.

"They went to bring the cake to the foals." Granny Smith said, wiping flour off of her hooves.

Sarge’s eyes darted to the door and he galloped at full speed to the barn. He burst through the door, expecting the worst. But what he found was Caboose sitting next to the little ones, laughing and eating cake. He watched curiously as Caboose was making silly faces to the young ones.

"Caboose... you're not angry?" Sarge asked, confused at the display.

"Why would I be angry?" Caboose asked innocently.

"I thought babies made you angry." Sarge said.

"These aren't babies, they are small ponies." Caboose said. "They are two completely different things."

Sarges eye twitched furiously and his flank dropped to the ground. He glared at Caboose, then his features softened. "Of course they are." Sarge said.

"I don't know why ya got so worried Sarge." Applejack said. "Caboose is gittin' along better with the foals than a bee to flowers."

"Yeah. I guess I was just a little worked out from buckin' those apples with Enolc." Sarge said, laughing roughly.

"This is a great party Caboose." Pinkie said, hugging Caboose. "I can't wait for my birthday. I hope you can throw me a party as nice as this."

Little Sin cleared his throat purposely, looking at Pinkie with a raised brow.

"Sorry Little Sin." Pinkie said cheerfully. "I forgot that you helped as well."

"Now problem." He said.

"We will not throw you a party as nice as this." Caboose said. "We will throw you the greatest party ever!"

"The greatest party ever?" Pinkie gasped. "Is that even possible?"

"Is what possible?" Caboose asked.

Before Pinkie could answer, the two foals crawled up to Caboose and hugged his back legs. He leaned over and looked at them between his legs.

"Hello little ones!" Caboose said. "Why are you upside down?"

Little Sin looked at the small foals with tears leaking from his eyes, attempting to hold in his emotions.

"What's wrong? Not that I care but still." Grif said.

Little Sin sniffed and wiped a tear from his eye. "The cuteness....." He stopped and clenched his teeth. "It is fucking unbearable..." He said in a strained voice.

Caboose then lifted one of his back legs and placed Pound Cake on his back. Once Pound Cake was settled in, he did the same for Pumpkin Cake. Caboose smiled and ran outside and started to run around a tree, laughing wildly. Everypony smiled and went outside to watch them play. Everypony except Sarge. Simmons and Grif were halfway out the door before they stopped.

"What's on your mind Sarge?" Simmons asked.

"Nothing." Sarge mumbled, walking towards the door.

Simmons looked at Grif and they both shared a shrug.

"Sarge, why do you look so... annoyed?" Simmons asked.

"He means more than usual." Grif added.

"I don't know." Sarge grunted. Sarge looked at Caboose who was now hopping around the tree.

"Sarge... are you mad about something?" Grif asked.

"No, it's just that I worked my flank off to prevent Caboose from meeting the little ones." Sarge said. "I was under the impression that he would go crazy at the sight of them."

"What would make him do that?" Grif asked.

"Let's just say when O'Malley was in Caboose's mind he taught him how to get angry." Sarge said. "Remember a while back when you re-configured that telepowatchamacallit?"

"Yeah..." Simmons said with a nod.

"Before we got to it, there was a group of idiots standing in between us and it." Sarge said. "Caboose got angry and went berserk on their dumb asses and killed them all so we could escape."

"Caboose did that?" Grif asked.

Sarge nodded.

"Then why are you annoyed?" Simmons asked. "It seems like everything went well..."

"That's just it. All that build up, just kaput." Sarge said. "It's like something out of a horribly written story."

Memories

Caboose put the foals on the ground and sat down next to a tree, breathing harder than usual. "I'm tired." Caboose stated plainly.

"Generally that's what happens when you run for an hour straight." Church replied.

Caboose yawned. He then glanced at his flank and started to grin. "I got my marky thingy!" Caboose exclaimed, hopping up and down, exhaustion suddenly dissipated.

"What is it? What is it?" Pinkie asked.

Pinkie ran up to Caboose and looked at his cutie mark, her smile spread from ear to ear.

"It looks just like Pinkie’s..." Little Sin said.

"Yeah, but the top is different for some reason." Twilight said.

It was a trio of balloons, the left and right ones were light blue and the one in the middle was pink. But the pink one wasn't a regular balloon. It was the shape of a heart.

"This is awesome!" Caboose yelled.

"Fuck. I want mine now. I wanna have a picture on my ass of me shooting Tivos with a shotgun." Little Sin started.

Enolc looked at Little Sin. "You'll get it when you get it you-"

"I want it now! I want it now! I want it now! I don't wanna wait for it to appear. I want it now!" Little Sin yelled.

"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Kerzon yelled as he reached for his sword. "How about I burn it on your ass with this? How would that make you feel, fuckronaut?"

"I think it would make me feel like you're a dick."

"I was half expecting your mark to be a dunce cap." Tucker said, looking at Caboose.

"Nice going Caboose." Church said, punching Tucker in the shoulder for his reply.

"Why do you hate Caboose so much?" Little Sin asked Tucker.

"Because he's a complete idiot." Tucker said.

"Your special talent is the same as mine!" Pinkie said, hugging Caboose.

"Your special talent is blowing balloons?"

"No silly, it's throwing parties."

"I am just about to be brilliant!" Caboose exclaimed. "If we both make a party together, we can make it a double party!"

"A double party?" Pinkie gasped. "That is brilliant."

"Jesus Merphy..." Kerzon muttered.

The Cake twins crawled up to Caboose and started playing with his hooves. "Thank you for letting me throw a party for you." The little ones giggled and hugged him as the mares all quietly cooed at the sight.

"I think I've had enough of this mushy stuff." Enolc said.

"It's enough to make you sick." Grif said, dry heaving sarcastically.

"Tell me about it..." Sarge said, before he broke out in laughter. "Oh well, good for him. He’s having a good time."

"Sarge... are you happy?" Simmons asked.

"For a blue?" Grif added.

"Caboose is surprisingly a good kid." Sarge grunted. "He may be blue, but I have a feeling he is all red on the inside."

"He is all red on the inside." Simmons said matter-of-factly.

"That's the spirit Simmons!" Sarge said.

"No, I meant..." Simmons started. "You know what? Never mind."

Pumpkin and Pound both yawned and lay down next to Pinkie and Caboose. "Look's like Caboose ain't the only one who’s plum tuckered out." Applejack said.

"I don't like plums though." Caboose said.

"But plums look sexy." Little Sin said.

"You're right, they really do look pooped." Pinkie said, slowly picking up Pumpkin Cake. "I guess I have to bring them back home so they can go to sleepy-weepy."

"Does this mean that the party is over?" Caboose asked.

"Sorry Caboose, but Sarge n' Enolc need to clean up the barn right quick." Applejack said.

"What? I don't want to clean up." Sarge said. "Simmons! Grif! I order you two to clean up the barn."

"Hey Sarge, I don't know if you noticed but we aren't soldiers right now." Grif said. "We don't have to take any of your shit."

"Besides, Rarity needs my help tomorrow with a client." Simmons said.

"Simmons, having sex for money? Even I have to admit that that is pretty scandalous." Grif chuckled.

"I hate you so fucking much." Simmons muttered.

"Sarge, they weren't the ones that made the party happen here, it was you." Applejack said. "That means it's your job to help clean."

"Dammit." Sarge muttered. "I hate cleaning."

"Don't be a baby." Enolc chimed.

Grif chuckled and started to walk away with Fluttershy.

"Have fun Sarge." Grif chirped happily.

"Let us go Tivos, Simmons. We must be well rested for the work of art we will be making tomorrow." Rarity said.

Simmons and Tivos nodded as Pinkie took Pound Cake and placed him on her back with Pumpkin Cake and dragged Caboose up to his hooves.

"We should get going too." Pinkie said. "Thanks for letting us have the party here Sarge."

"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grumbled.

"Good night Sarge." Caboose yawned.

"Night, Sarge." Little Sin said.

"Night." Sarge said.

The others then followed suit, said their goodbyes and departed the farm. Tucker nudged Rainbow Dash in the side and motioned his head to the others. Rainbow Dash nodded and cleared her throat. "Hey Rarity?"

"Yes Rainbow Dash, how may I help you?" Rarity said.

"I was just wondering if maybe you need any help at the boutique." Rainbow Dash said. "Me and Tucker need to make some bits."

"What about me?" Kerzon asked.

"Him too." Rainbow said.

Rarity raised her brow and stared at Rainbow Dash.

"What do you need the money for?" Rarity asked.

"Well it's just that the Wonderbolts are in town in the next few days and me, Tucker, and Kerzon wanted to go see them." Rainbow Dash said.

"Sorry Dashie, but I don't have any work for you." Rarity said sincerely.

"Oh." Rainbow Dash said sadly. "Does anybody else have anything we can do?"

"You can come by Sugarcube Corner and bake with me." Pinkie said.

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked happily. "That would be awesome. Thanks Pinkie!"

"No problem." Pinkie said happily.

"Come on guys, we'll need to hit the hay early tonight if we're going to be working all day tomorrow." Rainbow Dash said, taking off straight towards her house.

"Fuck." Kerzon muttered. "That means plenty of Little Sin."

"I don't think Tucker is the best choice for a cook." Grif said.

"The same could have been said about Caboose, but he seems to have done well." Church said.

"Thanks Church." Caboose said groggily.

Soon they all split up and went to their homes for a good sleep. In just an hour, everypony was asleep.

Everypony except for Tivos, who stayed up to think about some things that were on his mind. He opened the front door to the boutique and went outside for some fresh air. He sat down and sighed at the moon as it glistened in the sky. Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him. He didn't bother to look as Rarity came outside and sat beside him.

"It's a beautiful night." She said.

"Yes, it is." Tivos said. There was a short pause.

"I'm really sorry for trying to get information out of you at the cafe. I can understand that it must have been a sensitive subject. I mentioned it to your brother, Kerzon. He even finds it difficult to talk about."

"It's okay." Tivos said. "You were only showing concern for me. Upon thinking about it, I actually appreciate your sentiment."

"So, are you all right than?" Rarity asked.

Tivos shared eye contact with Rarity. "Yes, I'm fine." He said before returning his gaze to the stars.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow than." Rarity said as she got up and walked towards the boutique.

"Wait." Tivos said.

Rarity stopped and looked behind her. "Yes, Tivos?"

"I don't mean to keep you up, but I could use somebody to talk to."

Rarity smiled and sat down beside Tivos.

"You know, we weren't at all much like we are now." Tivos said.

Rarity looked at him quizzically.

"Myself, and the other Sangheili that got here. We weren't always happy... or whatever you would call us." Tivos said.

"What do you mean?" Rarity asked.

"I have a dark past, Rarity. As does my brother Kerzon and all the others that came here." Tivos started. "We all have a history that is written in bloodshed and dishonour."

"What happened?" Rarity asked softly, noticing that Tivos was beginning to open up to her.

"The war is what happened." Tivos started. He looked up at the sky and began remembering the events that occurred. Flashbacks of pain, anger, suffering, blood.

"Do you know what the stallions are? Or what they were before they came?" Tivos asked.

"Do you mean Simmons and the others?" Rarity asked.

"Yes."

"Not entirely." Rarity said simply.

"They're called humans. They are much like your people. Intelligent, literate, kind, peaceful. But my people changed that. Remember when I told you that I joined something called the Covenant military?"

"Yes, what are you saying, Tivos?" Rarity asked in concern.

"Many years ago, my people led very strong religious beliefs. We believed in supreme gods that left us gifts, and if we followed the path that these gods set out for us to follow, our faith would be rewarded threw salvation into the divine beyond, even in death. With this belief we set out to find these ancient treasures that held the key to our salvation." Tivos looked down.

"That doesn't sound too bad." Rarity said.

"That's not it." Tivos started. "It turns out that the ancient treasures we were looking for were not tools of salvation, but were in fact weapons of mass destruction. If we were to use them we would have killed everything in the galaxy. Trillions of intelligent life forms vanquished. We were so dissolved in our faith that we could not see that we were about to trifle with a weapon of unimaginable power. And that's when the humans came." Tivos said sadly.

"And?"

"Our prophets, the San 'Shyuum were supposed to be the arm of the gods, they were the ones who supposedly distributed the god's bidding into the covenant and then left it to my people to perform those biddings. When the humans came, the prophets saw them to be unworthy. They saw them to be the scourge of the gods, and ordered people like me and Kerzon to carry out the extermination of their kind." Tivos stopped and sighed.

"Me and my brother used to be monsters. We killed countless innocent people in the name of a false cause. I carry horrible memories. Memories of pointless killing and suffering, for nothing. I've done horrible things, Rarity. Things you couldn't possibly understand." Tivos looked up at the moon. Images of the events that occurred clouding his mind.

"One time, at the battle of Arcadia..."

The War

Supreme Commander Kerzon 'Xytranai was recently assigned to command the Blades of Transcendence Fleet. In command of the BTS Promethean Equilibrium, he had General Tivos 'Xytranee as his second commander of the fleet. News had spread of the countless victories of the covenant and the endless setbacks for the scourge of the gods, the humans. The prophets had made the glassing of Arcadia Kerzon's responsibility alone, and tasked him with the ritual ceremony for the destruction of the world.

"Report." Supreme Commander Kerzon ordered.

"All systems are at 100%, the fleet is prepared and ready to attack Arcadia." General Tivos said.

"Signal the fleet to jump into slip space." Kerzon said.

"Yes, Commander."

"Fleet is responding. Awaiting your mark, Commander." Tivos said.

"Let us destroy them!" Kerzon yelled as he sat up from his command chair and motioned his hand towards the view screen.

The ships jumped into slips space in a standard raid formation. They were about to invade one of the United Nations Space Command's outer colonies, the pleasure world of Arcadia. It was packed with civilians travelling away from their homes to vacation.

The ships exited slip space and approached the planet.

"Has the Hierarch been escorted aboard the ship?" Kerzon asked.

"Yes, Commander. The noble Hierarch is on his way to the bridge." Tivos said.

The door to the bridge opened and two honour guards came threw. They stepped to the side to allow for somebody to pass.

"All bow for the Hierarch of Regret." Enolc 'Relikee said. Every Sangheili on the bridge came down to their knees as a grey coloured alien in a hover-chair entered the bridge. The alien had a gold crown with a holographic halo on it and he wore a golden crest on the back of his neck to signify he was a high prophet.

He hovered over to Kerzon, who was still on his knees and starring into the ground, and put his hand on his shoulder.

"The gods see you worthy of decimating the scourge that has brought them shame. You may stand."

Kerzon stood up and looked at the prophet.

"You may proceed to activate the cleansing instrument."

"Yes, noble Hierarch." Kerzon said as he made his way to the tactical station. He brought the weapons systems online and then pressed a button that made a series of beeping sounds.

"Initiate manual targeting." Kerzon said to the ship. A pedestal with a touch pad came out of the floor and flashed blue.

A lifetime of anticipation and prayer led him to this moment. It was time to deem himself worthy of transcendence to the gods and ensure himself a path into the great journey.

"Speak, my prophet. And let the word destroy those who would stand in the way of the great journey." Kerzon said boldly.

"Faith. Destroy them with faith." The prophet said.

And so he did. He pressed his hand on the pedestal, causing it to glow blue, and he guided the plasma bombardment and seared the covenant hieroglyph for 'faith' into the surface of the planet below. The blast wave of flame and wind destroyed everything around the lines of his glyph, and when it was complete, Kerzon knelt, waiting for the molten rock below to cool and for the prophet to judge whether his actions had pleased the gods. The prophet put his hand on Kerzon's shoulder and assured him that the gods were pleased.

The Sangheili on the bridge stood up and roared in accomplishment as Kerzon stood up to his feet.

"No doubt that the human scum have prepared their forces. Signal the fleet to start assembling and distributing legions of our warriors to the surface. General Tivos, you lead the first legion." Kerzon said.

"Yes Commander." Tivos said as he left the bridge to start the fight on the surface.

Kerzon went over to his command chair and pressed a button on it. It opened a communications channel to the rest of the fleet.

"This is Supreme Commander Kerzon 'Xytranai. Let this be a lesson to those who would dare stand before the might of the covenant. Rein fire upon their world and lead them to their eventual slaughter, brothers. Begin the cleansing process." He said in satisfaction.

Tivos made his way to the hanger.

"All legions, prepare for combat." Tivos said over the com system. By the time he made it to the hanger his men were there and ready for combat. Tivos gave a quick speech and took a squadron of phantoms to the surface. Anticipation ran threw his body as he got closer to the ground. Suddenly a ding sound could be heard as a purple light shined brightly above the gravity lift in the phantom, indicating that it was time to fight.

Tivos looked at his weapon, a Type-50 Directed Energy Rifle, and dropped out of the phantom. He and his men were instantly bombarded by combat. Tivos looked around and noticed that entire legions of covenant warriors were already fighting the humans. He was in the middle of a street, cars and advertising signs flipped over and spread all over the cracked road. He looked to his left to see a small squad of humans pinned down by a covenant infantry squad about a hundred feet away. Tivos jumped off of a car and landed on top of a small structure, where he made his way across the rooftops to the pinned humans.

Tivos fired a concussion shell at them to disorient and injure them. The humans fell to the ground and scrambled around as Tivos jumped down from the rooftop and attacked them. He put his weapon away and drew his energy sword as he landed on the ground.

Tivos grabbed one of the humans and stabbed him threw the abdomen. The other humans picked up their weapons and started to fire when a gold coloured Sangheili jumped from behind cover and sliced one of the humans into two pieces. It was Tody.

"Need any assistance, General?" The zealot asked.

Tivos turned and decapitated the human behind him before he answered. "That would be nice." He said.

Tivos dove for cover as a human soldier shot at him with a SPNKR rocket launcher.

He pulled out his Type-50 and fired a concussion shell at the human, knocking him off his feet and almost killing him. Tivos took the opportunity to charge at the human, engage one of the energy daggers on his wrist and stab the human in the throat. Tivos looked to see human men, women, and children scrambling around the streets looking for cover in the madness of the invasion.

Tivos looked up to see a phantom hover above the street, the phantom shot and killed a few civilians before Supreme Commander Kerzon dropped out and drew his energy sword.

"What are you doing here, Commander?" Tivos yelled over the noise.

"I couldn't keep away from the real action for long." Kerzon said.

Kerzon began running threw the streets slicing human infantryman and civilians into pieces with his energy sword, doing so with incredible skill. Tivos looked over to see Tody beating a human to death. Countless humans were falling, covenant warriors moving threw the streets and killing anything they see. Tivos felt an impact against his energy shields as he saw a human civilian firing a UNSC magnum at him. The human was cringing a body of a small girl, presumably his daughter, in his arms, crying, yelling, screaming in rage. Tivos growled and charged the human. He grabbed the pistol and threw it to the side, where he then tripped the yelling human and began beating him to death. At the human's final breath he drew one of his energy daggers and stabbed him in the face, killing him instantly from that point.

Kerzon sliced his way threw an endless barrage of human infantry and civilians until he came to a crying human woman hiding inside an ally. She was cringing her small daughter in her arms, telling her that everything was going to be fine.

Kerzon drew his energy sword and slowly walked over to the mother and daughter, growling as his flame head grew slightly brighter.

The woman screamed and held her daughter as tight as she could.

"Stop, please!" She said, her words dissolved in crying and fear. "Please don't hurt my-"

She was stopped when Kerzon grabbed her daughter and ripped her from her mothers arms. The woman screamed and attacked Kerzon with a series of punches and kicks, all of which the massive towering alien absorbed with out even moving. He looked at the woman and kicked her in the face, breaking her jaw, nose, and shattering most of the bones in her face.

She yelled and screamed and rolled around on the ground with her hands up to her face as blood ran down her hands and forearms.

The little girl Kerzon was holding screamed and kicked around to the point where Kerzon grew annoyed. He held her high in the air by her throat and then slammed her into the ground. He then let go of the girl and stomped on her head with his giant foot, breaking her neck. Threw all of it the woman could hear her daughter die and she began to scream even louder.

Kerzon walked over to the woman rolling on the ground. "Silence!" He yelled as he picked her up by her throat and made his way out of the ally.

The Supreme Commander held the woman high above his head and called for the attention of his comrades, who were finishing off the last of human forces in this part of the colony.

"Let this be an example for all who would defy the gods! Show no mercy!" He yelled as he plunged his sword threw the woman's mid section, and then ripped it outward, causing the woman's lower half to drop to the ground, as her upper half still remained in Kerzon's grasp. He threw down the remainder of her body as he ran threw the streets violently slaughtering any human he saw, murdering a few baby infants in the process as he raided threw a nursery single handedly.

Tivos led his legion to another position, fortified by human forces, he engaged and slaughtered them violently. Within a few hours the entire planet was taken over, and all the remaining human forces were obliterated.

Supreme Commander Kerzon 'Xytranai and General Tivos 'Xytranee were granted promotions for their acts in the name of the gods.

Kerzon added 'Fal' to his middle name and was promoted to Imperial Admiral.

Tivos was promoted to Supreme Commander and given second in command of Kerzon's fleet.

They both continued their campaign against the humans until the prophets betrayed the Sangheili and forced the Sangheili to ally with the humans, where they effectively ended the covenant once and for all and saved the galaxy.

Tivos finished his long story and looked up at the stars. "We did terrible things. Became terrible people. I can only hope this doesn't change your outlook on me and the others. I'de still like to remain friends, but I think you needed to know the things that me and Kerzon have done. We are better than that now, but were it not for the prophet's betrayal, your stallion friends would not be here.

Rarity looked him in the eyes. She was completely driven to speechlessness and her eyes began to tear up.

"Tivos... I am so, so sorry." She lunged at him and gave him a tight hug.

"Don't be." Tivos said, returning the hug. "I did those things willingly. I became a monster. And now I must live with my burdens."

Rarity pulled out of the hug and kissed Tivos on the lips. She waited a few seconds and retracted her head. Tivos simply stared in surprise.

"What was that for?" He asked in confusion.

"You may have to live with those burdens, but you don't have to do it alone." Rarity said.

"I thought you would be afraid of me." Tivos said.

Rarity smiled. "No. I'm not afraid of you, Tivos."

They both sat and looked at the starry night, until they both headed inside and went to sleep.

Cupcakes

"Are you excited to make some food?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Not really, I'll probably just fucking burn it." Tucker laughed.

"Don't worry about it. I'll probably end up fucking it up before you do." Kerzon said.

Rainbow Dash knocked on the door and Pinkie answered with a smile.

"You're here!" Pinkie exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, we really need the cash." Rainbow Dash said. "Listen Pinkie I really appreciate you letting us help you."

"Not at all, it's the least I could do for my friend." Pinkie said.

"Yeah. Say where is Caboose?" Tucker asked.

"Don't worry about him, he is just preheating the oven." Pinkie said.

"Well, this place will be burning down any second now." Tucker laughed.

Rainbow Dash and Tucker started giggling but Pinkie just stared at him with a smile.

"What's funny?" Kerzon asked.

"You ready to get cookin'?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah whatever. What are we making?" Kerzon asked.

"We're just going to be making a bunch of cupcakes, as we've just received a large order for them." Pinkie said.

"Okay cool. I can dig cupcakes." Tucker said. "What kind are we making."

"It's a secret." Pinkie said.

Tucker raised his brow at Rainbow Dash who just shrugged in return. The three then followed Pinkie into the kitchen and he looked at the oven.

"Look, Caboose didn't even turn the fucking oven on." Tucker said.

Tucker looked to the left and saw Rainbow Dash and Kerzon lying on the ground.

"Hey what happened to them?" Tucker asked.

"The same thing that's going to happen to you." Caboose said.

"Wha-" Tucker started before he lost consciousness.

When Tucker woke up, he found himself chained to a table in a dark room. He grunted and tried to break free, but he gave up after a couple of minutes as there were no signs of his bindings letting up. Instead he let his eyes adjust to the dark. His heart filled with horror as the wall came into focus. The wall was obscured by knives and other tools, all caked with what appeared to be blood. He resumed his struggle, trying to release himself once more, but to no avail. Tucker swallowed and a harsh pain shot through his throat.

"Is anybody there?" Tucker croaked weakly. Tucker licked his lips and swallowed some saliva to moisten his throat. It still hurt when he breathed, but it was significantly lessened. "Is anybody here?" Tucker asked, clearly this time.

He herd a grunt from a table next to him.

"Hello?" Tucker asked. He looked over and saw a light begin to form.

"My fucking head." The voice said as it regained consciousness.

"Kerzon?" Tucker asked.

"Tucker?" Kerzon asked.

"Yeah." Tucker said.

"Than yeah, It's me. What the fuck happened?" Kerzon said quietly.

"I don't know. Could you make your flame a bit brighter? I can't see worth shit." Tucker said.

"I'll try, but I'm pretty dazed. No guarantees." Kerzon closed his eyes and concentrated. His flame grew a tiny bit brighter and Tucker was able to make our the objects better.He decided to look around the room. The walls had a strange wallpaper on them. It looked as though it was made out of scraps of fur. "Not much of an interior designer." Tucker muttered sarcastically.

"I can tell." Kerzon said.

Tucker then noticed a dripping sound coming from next to him, and when he cocked his head to the left to see he flinched. There was a ponies corpse sitting next to him. Except it wasn't just a corpse, it's skin was completely torn off, but there were weird bones sticking out of the side.

"What the fuck?" Tucker said loudly. "Where the fuck am I?"

"What is it?" Kerzon looked over and saw what Tucker was seeing. "Holy fuck. Who is that?"

As Tucker continued scanning the corpse, he noticed that there was a patch left on its flank, and when he saw what was on it, his heart dropped. It was Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark. Tucker had to choke back the vomit that was threatening to spew out.

"Rainbow Dash..." Tucker said weakly, a tear forming in his eye.

"What!?" Kerzon exclaimed quietly. Fuck no. I'm out." Kerzon's energy sword suddenly drew and he cut himself free from his binds. "I'm getting you the fuck out of here." he said.

Tucker then heard a door slam open in front of him. Kerzon turned around before he could cut Tucker free. The room pored open with light, and the two closed their eyes as the light burned their eyes.

"Come out, you fucking-" A slicing sound could be heard as Kerzon was stopped in mid sentence. Tucker opened his eyes to see that their was no longer a flame or a glowing sword anywhere, and the room was in complete darkness again.

"Kerzon?" Tucker asked nervously. No answer, however he felt a presence in the room.

"Who's there?" He asked.

He gazed into the darkness, eyes now maladjusted due to the sudden changes in lighting. He was able to make out a figure staring at him from where he assumed the door was.

"Good, you're up." A raspy voice said.

"Who the fuck are you? What the fuck did you do to Rainbow Dash?" Tucker yelled angrily through the pain in his neck.

"You're in no position to be asking questions Tucker." The voice said.

The mention of his name had his spine shivering with fright.

"Caboose? Is that you?" Tucker asked weakly.

"Aw, you ruined the surprise." Caboose said sarcastically, flicking a switch which made a light turn on above Tucker.

Tucker quickly closed his eyes against the renewed onslaught. When he opened them, he yelled at the sight in front of him. Caboose was standing there, eyes completely black and seemingly devoid of life. Caboose was also wearing a cloak. It took Tucker a couple seconds to realize that this cloak had several pairs of wings on it, and it was all too clear to him that those weren't fake wings.

"Do you like it?" Caboose giggled, spinning in a slow circle.

"What the fuck Caboose?" Tucker said angrily. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Making cupcakes of course."

Tucker eyes dilated when he realized what he meant.

"What? Does Pinkie know that you're going to be fucking murdering me?" Tucker yelled, angry tears streaming out of his eyes.

"Of course silly, who else do you think carved Rainbow Dash up?"

"I always knew you were crazy, but I didn't think you were fucking sick." Tucker growled.

"Oh please, you're being far too kind." Caboose said with a laugh. He then sighed and looked down to a dead white pony with a red slash on his neck. "Poor Kerzon. I liked him, too."

"How the hell do you think the others will react once they find out what the fuck you're doing?" Tucker asked.

"I'm sure they would be appalled." Pinkie said, appearing from his side brandishing a blow torch. "But I think they will love the cupcakes. They're my own special recipe."

"Let me go, you stupid cunt." Tucker yelled, trying to free himself.

"Don't wear yourself out." Pinkie tutted. "If you struggle too much then it just doesn't taste the same."

"Bite me." Tucker grunted.

"I plan on it." Pinkie laughed wickedly. "Now that we’ve warmed up on little Dashie over there, I think we can make it even more painful and much longer."

"Help!" Tucker yelled. "These fuckers are trying to kill me!"

Caboose walked up to Tucker and punched him in the jaw.

"You should have heard the way Dashie squealed. It was adorable." Pinkie giggled. "Even through all the pain, she kept thinking of you alone. She begged me to let you free. Her last breath was your name."

Tucker gazed at Rainbow Dash, tears streaming down his face. Caboose then walked up to Tucker and placed a spike on one of his wings. He then grabbed a hammer with the other one and slammed the nail in. Tucker screamed in pain as Caboose pounded a second nail into his other wing.

"Before you lose your voice, do you have any last, inspiring words?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah." Tucker said. "I hope you choke you fucking bitch."

Pinkie and Caboose both shared a dark laugh as Caboose placed another spike in Tuckers mouth this time. Tucker closed his eyes shut and felt the spike go through as Caboose slammed the hammer down.

“Tucker?” Caboose asked

Tucker lunged straight up and yelped. His face was covered in a cold sweat and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Tucker what's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked with a worried expression on her face. "You kept yelling in your sleep. It was beginning to make me scared."

Tucker looked over at Rainbow Dash and didn't say anything. Instead he hugged her tightly.

First Day On The Job

"Tucker what happened?" Rainbow Dash asked, pushing Tucker off of herself.

"Don't worry about it." Tucker said, laughing nervously.

"Your face is pale, your eyes are bloodshot and your voice is cracking. Plus you kept kicking and screaming, so I kind of have a reason to worry."

"What the fuck is going on up here?" Kerzon asked as he entered the room. He took notice of Rainbow Dashes serious expression and the fact that Tucker was sweating and slowly backed away. "Umm.... Do horses sweat when they fuck?" He asked.

"What? No! Well, yes. But whatever your thinking, it's not true." Rainbow Dash said.

"Well if you guys aren't getting it on, then what are you doing?" Kerzon asked.

"Tucker woke up kicking and screaming. I was worried and I woke him up."

"Aw, how cute." Kerzon said. "You're worried for him."

Rainbow Dash went to kick Kerzon in the face, but Kerzon blocked it easily and side stepped for a counter strike, he remembered that she was his friend's girl so he stopped himself.

Tucker rubbed his face and then started to laugh. "Calm down, I just had a nightmare." Tucker muttered. "But it seemed like a lot more than a nightmare. It felt so fucking real."

"What happened in it?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously, breaking her glare at Kerzon. Tucker just shook his head. "Come on, don't be such a baby, tell me what was it about?"

"Honestly, you really fucking don't want to know." Tucker replied, lying back down.

"How bad could it have been?" Rainbow Dash chortled .

Tucker looked over at Rainbow Dash with no expression on his face. Rainbow Dash lied back down and sighed.

"We should get up soon anyways, it's almost time to go help Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said.

"Fuck that."

"Don't you want to go see the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tucker muttered something under his breath and got off the bed. He went to the shower and turned it on and stood there rubbing his face.

"It was just a fucking dream. I can't let it get to me." Tucker groaned and then chuckled lightly. "Besides, if Caboose had a knife the only thing he would end up killing is himself."

After a couple of minutes he got out of the shower and dried off.

"Feeling better?" Rainbow Dash laughed.

"You don't think a dream would bother me that much, do you?" Tucker said. "I was just kidding around."

"I don't know, that looked pretty genuine to me." Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.

"Screw you." Tucker pouted, but then smiled again. "You look like you had a good night’s sleep."

"Yeah, I was having the greatest dream before you woke me up." Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh really? What were we doing in it?" Tucker asked, winking at her.

"You wish." Rainbow Dash said, closing the door behind her.

Tucker looked at Kerzon who was staring at the bathroom door. Tucker coughed to get Kerzon's attention. He shook his head.

"What?" Kerzon said quickly.

"Don't get any ideas unless you want her to kick your face in." He said laughing.

Kerzon laughed. "What? I totally wouldn't do that."

"Don't you ever shower?" Tucker asked. "Ever since you got here you haven't even looked at it until now."

"I don't need to." Kerzon said as a pillar of fire spiralled around him, incinerating any bacteria and dirt, and quickly dissipated. "Clean, and sexy as ever." He chimed.

Tucker and Kerzon made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Tucker looked around and then grunted. "I wish she had stuff to eat besides just bread and wheat..."

"She does, Tucker. Bow-chicka-bow-wow." Kerzon said.

"If only." Tucker muttered.

Rainbow Dash dried herself off and made her way downstairs to find Tucker fiddling with a sandwich. Kerzon was also making himself a sandwich.

"Aw, you're not making me one?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah, hold your horses." Tucker said, smiling dryly.

"Damn, your kind of a bitch, aren't you?" Kerzon said.

"You get used to it." Tucker said.

When Tucker finished with his he set to work on a second one. Rainbow Dash grabbed the one Tucker had already made and took a bite out of it.

"You know, this isn't that bad." Rainbow Dash said. "I thought you said you didn't know how to cook."

"Making a sandwich isn't cooking. That doesn't make any sense." Kerzon added.

"Well keep up the good work, Tucker. I might hire you as my personal chef." Rainbow Dash said

"Shit, does this mean I'm the woman?" Tucker asked.

"Pretty much." Rainbow Dash said, smirking at Tucker.

"God dammit." Tucker muttered.

Over at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was just waking up. She yawned and hopped off the bed before showering. When she came out she saw that Caboose was still sprawled across the bed, snoring loudly.

"Wake up Boosey," Pinkie sang.

"I don't want to go to school today." Caboose whined.

"Since when did you go to school?" Little Sin said as he got up.

Pinkie smiled and shook her head. She threw the cover back on Caboose and she left the room with Little Sin. She made her way down to the kitchen with him and turned on the oven. As she did, Mr. Cake walked into the room.

"Pinkie you might have to work a little bit longer today." Mr. Cake said. "We have a large order placed for a party. We will need an extra twelve dozen cupcakes."

"Twelve dozen." Pinkie said. "Got it."

"Should I go get Caboose to help you?" Mr. Cake asked.

"No it's okay, Little Sin is here to help. And besides, Rainbow Dash is coming over and she is bringing Tucker and Kerzon to help me." Pinkie said.

"Alrighty then. Me and the Mrs. are going out for a bit, so take care." Mr. Cake said, leaving the room.

"Will do Mr. Cake!" Pinkie said. "I wonder when Tucker, Kerzon and Dashie are going to get here."

"I hope they come soon. I haven't annoyed Kerzon in a while.

She shrugged as she broke some eggs into a bowl, topping it with a pinch of salt. She stirred vigorously for a minute until she ended up with the thick foam. Satisfied with the foam, she then added some lemon juice, vanilla and sugar, quickly whipping the concoction into a homogeneous mess. Little Sin than grabbed a second bowl and promptly filled it with flour, cocoa and baking soda, quickly folding the dry ingredients together. He then mixed the contents of the two bowls, and than Pinkie blended them, and spooned the resulting mixture into a cupcake pan, already prepared with the cupcake shells. She threw it in the oven just as the the doorbell rang.

"Hey Rainbow Dash, you're finally here!" Pinkie said. "I already started, so come on in."

"Where is Caboose?" Tucker asked.

"He's still sleeping." Pinkie said.

"Where's Little Sin?" Kerzon asked.

"He's here with me." Little Sin came out from behind Pinkie.

"What's up, man?" Little Sin asked.

"My dick up your mom's crotch." Kerzon remarked.

"So you like old women?" Little Sin said.

"You know, the fact that your mother is old doesn't make you invincible to mom jokes dumbass."

"Just saying." Little Sin said.

Tucker sighed but looked at Rainbow Dash and nodded. The four then went back to the kitchen.

"So what kind of cupcakes are we making?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oooo, they're the best cupcakes ever!" Pinkie said. "They're my own special recipe."

And with that, Tucker booked it out of the kitchen.

"What the fuck was that?" Kerzon asked.

"I don't know." Rainbow Dash muttered. "Let's just get to work without him."

Tucker kept running until he found himself in front of the library. He burst through the door and looked around the room. Church was sitting on a chair and he glanced at Tucker worriedly. His face was paler than usual and he was sweating. "Tucker, is that you?" Church asked.

"No it's fucking Jesus H. Christ." Tucker said. "Who else is as sexiful as me?"

Kerzon burst threw the door. "I am!" He interjected. "Perhaps even more sexiful!" He said. There was an awkward pause as Tucker and Church stared at Kerzon. "Well, peace." Kerzon said as he ran out the door."

"What are you doing here?" Church asked.

"Oh I just thought I would, uh, check to see what you're up to." Tucker said.

"You wanted to see... what I was up to?" Church asked curiously.

"You're right, I didn't realize what I was saying until I had said it." Tucker said. "Okay, well I had this fucking nightmare and it really got to me man."

"Aw, poor Tucker, did you wet the bed too?" Church asked with a chuckle.

"Fuck you you asshole. I'm serious it was some fucked up shit." Tucker said.

"Alright, tell me what happened in your little nightmare."

"Caboose and Pinkie were using ponies as the main ingredient to cupcakes." Tucker said with a straight face.

Church burst out laughing and fell to the ground.

"You know what? You're a prick." Tucker said.

Mark

Simmons and Tivos were sitting at the table having his breakfast when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Tivos said. He put the food back on his plate and hopped off of the chair. However, Rarity had run down the stairs and opened the door by the time Tivos had even managed to enter the front room. There was a tall, white unicorn with dark red hair smiling at the pair, with a bag hanging off of his back. His cutie mark was a film reel. Rarity couldn’t help but feel as if she had seen him before.

"Hello, you must be Rarity." The unicorn said with a smile. He dropped the bag he was carrying next to the door and extended his hoof. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Rarity said, shaking the unicorns hoof. "You must be Fancypants' friend, mr..."

"Westhoof. Flint Westhoof." Flint said.

"The Flint Westhoof?" Rarity gawked.

"At your service." Flint said, bowing slightly. He then looked at Tivos, noting his blank flank with curiosity.

"Who is Flint Westhoof?" Simmons asked, approaching them. Flint took notice of Simmons' blank flank as well.

"I am one of Equestria’s most famous actors. You must have seen one of my many works." Flint said with a smile. "Surely either 'A Fistful of Bits' or 'For A Few Bits More' rings a bell. How about 'A Perfect Equestria'? No? 'The Unicorn, The Pegasus and The Pony'?"

Simmons and Tivos shook their heads at each of the titles, not even sure if they were plays or movies or the like.

"Odd. Maybe I'll have to invite you along next time I have a performance." Flint said. "I am told they are excellent."

"Sounds... good." Simmons said, not sure what to say to him.

"I'd be up for it." Tivos said.

"I should hope so." Flint said with a smile. "Enough about me, let's say we get started on the suit then, hm?"

"Yes, right away sir." Rarity said. "Follow me and we shall get started."

They went up the stairs with Rarity in to her studio. Flint saw the small platform and stepped on it without being told.

"How long is this expected to take?" Flint asked. "I am in no hurry to leave though, don't take this as a sign of impatience but as a sign of curiosity."

"Usually it would take an hour or two, but because of your build I would say... at least four." Rarity said.

"I didn't expect to be standing for that long." Flint chuckled. "I can't be held accountable for if I fall from exhaustion."

"Just tell Simmons when you start to feel weary." Rarity said while gathering cloths. "He is adept at magic, and I have taught him a spell to hold ponies in place."

"Ah, I was told that you were a solo artist. I did not expect an assistant. Is your other friend an assistant as well?" Flint said.

"No, I'm not. I don't know much about this stuff. What did you think we were?" Tivos asked.

"I was under the impression that one of you could have been special someponies to dear Rarity here."

"No, we're just friends." Tivos said.

Rarity nodded and started to take Flint’s measurements, then immediately set off to work. She had worked for two hours when Flint coughed.

"Now?" Simmons asked.

Flint nodded and Simmons started the spell. Around the third hour mark, Simmons started to strain from the over use of magic, but he kept pushing.

"I hope you don't hurt yourself on my account." Flint said. Flint then focused on Simmons and broke the spell. Before Simmons said anything Flint spoke once again. "I appreciate the rest, uh... what was your name? I don't think I caught it."

"Simmons."

"Well I thank you Simmons, but I think I can stand the rest of the way." Flint said with a smile.

Simmons nodded gratefully and rubbed his temples lightly.

"And you, fellow? What is your name?" Flint looked at Tivos.

"Tivos 'Xytranee." He said with a smile. "You can call me Tivos if you'd like."

"Curious name." Flint said.

After another hour, Rarity finished up one last stitch and slowly backed away.

"Are we finished already?" Flint asked.

"Almost, it just needs a finishing touch..." Rarity said, walking around Flint, looking for any discrepancies.

Simmons looked at the silver tuxedo that covered Flints entire torso.

"I think I have an idea." Simmons muttered.

"What is it?" Rarity asked.

"Hang on a second..." Simmons said.

Simmons grabbed a needle and some black thread and walked up to Flint. He used magic to lift the needle and he started to stitch a small symbol on the side of the suit. He backed away and looked it over.

"What did you do?" Rarity asked bluntly.

"I have no idea." Simmons said.

"What? What is it?" Flint asked.

Flint walked up to a mirror and looked at his side in the mirror. The symbol that Simmons had stitched on looked exactly like Flint’s cutie mark.

"Nopony puts a cutie mark on clothing." Rarity said. "It is redundant."

"Sorry, I was just trying to help." Simmons said diminutively.

"I for one like it. I believe that it makes this suit unique," Flint said, looking into the mirror. "Nice thinking Simmons."

"You... like it?" Simmons asked.

"Positively. In fact, I believe that you two may have just started a new fashion trend." Flint said. "Follow me."

Flint walked down the stairs and grabbed the bag he had brought, and reached into it and pulled out a couple pieces of paper. He then held them out to Simmons and Rarity who had followed him down.

"What are these?" Tivos asked.

"They are three tickets." Flint said simply. "The Wonderbolts are having a show in two days and I would appreciate if you three came with me as guests."

"That is very generous of you." Rarity said. "Are you sure you want to give these to us?"

"Of course. Consider them a bonus for your excellent work." Flint said, raising his brow at Simmons.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"For some reason I thought that Simmons over there was still a blank flank. I must have been mistaken." Flint said, leaving the boutique. "Have a fine day and thank you once again for the suit."

Rarity, Tivos, and Simmons then looked at his flank and saw the symbol. It was a tuxedo with a needle and black thread overlapping it.

The Fourth Crusader

Simmons was pacing back and forth, stopping every so often to glare at his cutie mark. "What? That's my special talent?" Simmons yelled.

"What is the problem with it?" Rarity asked.

"If any of the guys see this I will be a laughing stock." Simmons moaned.

"It does look a bit... grandma like." Tivos said hesitantly.

"I for one think it looks magnificent." Rarity said. "What did you think your talent would be?"

"I assumed mine would be something... I don't know... good." Simmons said. "A needle and thread isn't exactly my definition of masculine."

"I kind of have to agree with him." Tivos added. "It does lack in masculinity quite a bit."

"I think that it describes you pretty well, Simmons." Rarity said.

"How do you figure?" Simmons asked.

"Well for one, it shows that you have class." Rarity said. "Making garments is also a lot of hard work and requires you to think ahead. Most people can't handle that sort of workload."

"Well when you put it that way..." Simmons said with a smile, then shook it off. "But if Sarge sees it I'll never hear the end of it..."

"Do you really look up to him that much?" Rarity asked.

"Well, not really." Simmons said. "It's just that he is my superior so I have to respect him."

Tivos chuckled at the remark.

"He may have been your superior back where you came from, but here you two are equal." Rarity said.

"Hey yeah!" Simmons said happily. "You're right."

"Simmons, I just want to apologize for yelling back there." Rarity said sincerely. "I thought you ruined the suit, but it turns out you very well may have saved it."

"Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have done that without running it by you first." Simmons said.

Rarity looked in to Simmons’ eyes and smiled.

"Say Simmons? You wouldn't be interested in..." Rarity started. "Never mind."

"Interested in what?" Simmons asked, his curiosity aroused.

"I was just curious if you would care to be hired here." Rarity said. "I could use somepony like you who could help around here."

Simmons stared at her blankly until he grasped what she had said. "No. I mean, I don't know... we will have to go back to our world soon. I don't want to have a job just to be sent back right away."

"Do you have to leave though?" Rarity asked. "What is stopping you from staying?"

Simmons hadn’t thought of this. He was under the impression that he and the others would only be here briefly, and once they received their cutie marks they would be on their way. So in response he just shrugged. Rarity frowned slightly, noticing the tickets just off to the side.

"Well, the offer is still open if you do decide stay." Rarity said. "I hope you are still available to go see the Wonderbolts though."

"I think I might have some spare time." Simmons said.

"I don't have anything to do yet as of now, so I will make it." Tivos said.

"Good." Rarity said, smiling at Simmons who was smiling in return. "But you two may need something to wear when we go. After all we want we to look our best if Westhoof is going to be introducing us to other important ponies."

"Sounds good." Simmons said with a smile.

"I always like to look spiffy." Tivos added.

"Shall we get started?" Rarity asked.

"I'd love to. Maybe I can help as well. After all, it is my talent." Rarity and Simmons shared a smile and walked upstairs to start on both Simmons' and Tivos' suits. Tivos stayed downstairs, as he had nothing to do. He sighed and walked over to the couch, were he sat down.

"I certainly wish I found my special talent so I can help around here." Tivos muttered to himself. Suddenly, he felt a strange sensation in his horn, it started to glow a dark purple and a small spool of string lifted off the table and levitated in front of Tivos, a purple aura engulfing it.

"What-" He started. He soon found that he had control of the spool. He could rotate it, move it around. He experimented by slowly moving it to the left, then to the right. Up, down, forward, backward.

"Fascinating, this must be the magic that I am supposedly capable of manifesting." He said in intrigue. It took him a few moments to notice that there was something more about the small spool that he could observe. It was almost as if his horn could read the exact dimensions and physical characteristics of the object within his magical grasp, and he was able to project it perfectly in his mind.

Tivos closed his eyes and decided to explore this strange sensation. He focused on the image of the spool in his mind, and used this new found power to project the image threw his horn. Suddenly there was a purple flash, and when Tivos opened his eyes, there were two spools of string levitating in front of him, both looking precisely the same.

His eyes widened and a smile grew on his face as he set the spools down and picked up a pair of scissors with his magic. It all seemed so simple now. It was like moving an extra limb. He then received, yet again, a perfect image of the what he was holding in his head as his horn scanned it. He closed his eyes and did what he did before, and soon enough there was a purple flash and two pairs of scissors levitating in front of him.

"Rarity! Simmons! Come, I need you to see something!"

Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Enolc was laying under a tree, watching Winona run after a ball that Applejack kept throwing. "There he is girls." Applebloom’s voice called out.

Enolc glanced over to see Applebloom running up to him, closely followed by two other fillies. He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh, can I help you?" Enolc asked.

"You're right Applebloom, he does kinda talk like your sis." The white filly said.

"Why don't you have your cutie mark?" The orange pony with purple mane said.

Enolc cringed when she said cutie mark. He was really starting to hate that name.

"I don't have it yet. I just got here." Enolc grunted.

"He seems grumpy." The white filly said.

"I'm not grumpy. I'm just relaxing. Or at least I was, which would explain why I might seem grumpy. Who are your friends?" Enolc asked.

"My name is Sweetie Belle." The white filly said.

"I'm Scootaloo." The orange one said.

"And together we're..." Applebloom started.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They all chanted in unison.

Enolc burst out with laughter and the girls looked at him.

"What's so funny?" Scootaloo asked.

"That is the dumbest name I have ever heard." Enolc said, wiping a tear out from his eye.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo glared at him. "I thought you said he was nice." Scootaloo whispered to Applebloom.

"Yeah, he seems like a big meanie to me." Sweetie Belle agreed.

"Well I didn't mean to be offensive." Enolc said. "I'm sorry."

"Well... at least he apologized." Sweetie Belle said.

"Well, you must be here for a reason." Enolc said. "What can I do for you?"

"How is it that you don't have your cutie mark yet?" Scootaloo asked.

Enolc smiled at the orange filly. "I got here from another place, so I haven't received my special talent." Enolc chuckled.

"All of ponyville is talking about how that thing appeared in the sky." Sweetie Belle said.

"They are, huh?"

"Yeah. What was it?" Applebloom asked.

"A CSO class Super-Carrier." He said.

"What's that?" Scootaloo asked.

Enolc laughed. "It is a giant metal maze that can fly threw space and shoot lasers."

"That's awesome!" Scootaloo said.

"Anyways, we were just wonderin' if you could do us a favor." Applebloom said.

"Oh?" Enolc laughed. "And what would that be?"

"Well, we're always tryin' ta find ways to get our cutie marks..." Applebloom said. "But we never have any luck and always end up embarrassing ourselves..."

"So what does that have to do with me?" Enolc asked.

"You don't have your mark either. No other grown-ups help us that often so we thought that since you don't have yours yet, maybe..." Sweetie Belle started.

"We're wondering if you could help us find our cutie marks." Scootaloo said simply.

Enolc looked at the girls who were staring at him intently. He let out a long sigh.

"I don't know..." Enolc said, to which the girls started frowning. "I guess I could give it a shot." The girls muzzles broke into huge grins. "On two conditions."

"That depends what they are." Scootaloo said.

"One: you let me join your little group." The girls huddled in a circle and started whispering. They all then broke off and nodded in unison. "And two: you never let Little Sin or Tody join the group." Enolc said with a smile, putting his hoof forward.

"Deal." The girls all said at once, all placing their hooves over his.

Baking

"Quit your bitching." Church said while his laughter subsided.

"Hey man, you would be shitting yourself too if you saw what I saw." Tucker said.

"It was a fucking dream." Church said. "Get over it."

"You're pretty helpful, you know that?" Tucker said sarcastically.

"Didn't you need to work there to get some money for something or other?" Church asked.

"Well, yeah." Tucker said.

"So you, rather than actually do shit, ran away because of a nightmare?" Church asked. "I thought you had no fears."

Tucker glared at Church and sighed. "Are you saying I overreacted?"

"No, I'm saying that you're a fucking idiot." Church said.

Tody then then exited him and Church's room, stretching his arms and yawning. He made his way to the top of the stairs and looked at the pair of arguing stallions. "What the frig is going on here?"

"Tucker over here had a bad dream." Church said.

"This ought to be good." Tody muttered. "What was it about?"

"He said it was about Pinkie turning ponies into cupcakes." Church replied. "He had to go to Pinkie’s and help her do stuff but she said something and it sent him running."

"Isn't she the pink hyper one?" Tody said, scratching his head. "Sounds pretty scary."

"See?" Tucker yelled.

"I was kidding." Tody said bluntly. "Stop being such a baby."

"You know, I haven't talked to you much, but you sound kind of like an asshole." Tucker said.

"I get that a lot." Tody said with a proud smile.

"I'll admit, it sounds fucked up." Church said. "But would you have ran away if presented by some semblance of a nightmare you had the night before?"

"No." Tody said. "It's just a freaking dream. Get over it, dude." Tody said as he sat on the couch.

"I am over it." Tucker mumbled.

"Prove it." Church said. "Go back and help out and try not to pussy out this time."

"Fine." Tucker said.

Tucker slammed the door and started making his back to Sugarcube Corner.

"You would have run too, wouldn't you?" Church asked curiously.

"probably not, but maybe." Tody said. "Would you?"

"Probably." Church chuckled. "But Tucker is just too fun to piss off."

Tucker arrived at Sugarcube Corner after a couple minutes of walking. When he got there, he noticed that the door was ajar. He slowly walked in and looked around.

"Yo, anybody here?" Tucker called out.

Tucker got no answer so he sighed. He made his way around the counter and into the kitchen. He looked in the oven, where he saw a couple trays of cupcakes baking. Tucker then heard some muffled noise from his left, causing him to jump away, turning quickly, not sure what to expect. However, the room was empty. The sound appeared to come from a door that had been left slightly ajar.

"Caboose, you down there?" Tucker asked.

"Tucker, help me." Rainbow Dash called out in a strained voice.

"Let me go, shiticane!" Kerzon yelled.

Tucker ran down the stairs and looked around. Well, tried to look around, but the room was completely dark, accept for a flame that seemed to be struggling with something.

"Hello Tucker!" Caboose said happily.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Caboose?" Tucker asked angrily.

"We're making cupcakes." Caboose said. "Would you like one?"

"No I wouldn't like one. Where are you?"

"Hang on a sec." Pinkie said.

The lights then turned on and Tucker slam his eyes shut for a second. He quickly opened them again and saw Pinkie standing on a step ladder with a light bulb in her hoof. He then looked down and saw Rainbow Dash wiping flour off her face. Kerzon was tangled in a rope of some kind while Little Sin was simply looking at him, trying to hold back laughter.

"What happened?" Tucker asked, confused.

"Well, there was no room anywhere else so we came down here to finish up with the cupcakes." Pinkie said. "But when we came down the lights went pop."

"And Little Sin also thought it would be hilarious if he threw a fucking net over my head." Kerzon added.

"Oh." Tucker laughed.

"Where did you run to?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I needed to talk to Church for a minute." Tucker said.

"Oh, I thought it had something to do with your bad dream." Rainbow Dash said.

"Pft, no, of course not." Tucker said with a weak laugh. "I may be a lot of things, but a coward I am not."

"Bullshit." Kerzon said. "I think you ran away because something made you shit your pants." Kerzon paused for a moment and processed what he said. "Fuck, we don't wear pants."

"Dumbass!" Little Sin exclaimed.

"You did seem pretty shaken up by it." Rainbow Dash said.

The oven upstairs then made a dinging noise.

"The last batch is done!" Pinkie said, running up the stairs. Little Sin hugged Pinkie.

"I lub you." He said.

"Aw! I lub you too Sin." PInkie said cheerfully. "Let's go get the cupcakes."

"Okay." Little Sin said.

After a couple seconds Pinkie and Little Sin then ran back down with a tray of freshly baked cupcakes.

"So Tucker, are you finally going to help or are you going to pussy out again?" Kerzon asked.

"Yeah I'll help." Tucker said, looking over the cupcakes. "How many did you guys make?

"Twelve dozen." Pinkie said, placing the tray down on the table. "Let's get crackin'!"

Kerzon nodded and grabbed some icing and started sloppily lapping it onto the cupcakes.

"That's too much!" Pinkie said.

"Hey, anything invented by Kerzon has to be the sweetest thing around." Kerzon said, scraping most of the icing off.

"Now that's too little. Haven't you ever made cupcakes before?" Pinkie asked.

"Do I look like I belong in a bakery?" Kerzon said. "I don't see how it even matters how much icing is on it."

"Well if you put too much on it's too sweet, and if you don't put on enough it doesn't taste sweet at all!" Pinkie said. "You need just the right amount to make them perfect."

"Everybody's a critic. Can't just make some fucking sweet cupcakes without everyone getting their panties in a bunch." Kerzon muttered, trying to put on the right amount of icing. "Y'know, this doesn't seem like a lot of work."

"That's because you sat there with your thumb up your ass while me and Pinkie did the actual baking." Little Sin said.

"Fuck you, dick-lock. Again with the expectations. I don't expect you to suck my dick whenever I tell you to. I put icing on the cupcakes, that's an important job." Kerzon said. "Besides, it's not like we're cooking prime ribs here or some shit..."

"What's a 'prime rib'?" Pinkie asked.

"You're kidding, right?" Kerzon said.

Pinkie shook her head. "Well, if it isn't one nightmare after another." Kerzon muttered. "Yo, Tucker. Why don't you do this for a while? You haven't done anything yet."

"Sure, whatever." Tucker said as he took the icing from Kerzon.

After a few more minutes of putting icing on the cupcakes, Pinkie collected them all and started to put them into a large box.

"Alright, so we're done?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, you're done." Pinkie said. "Oh right, you need the bits for those tickets. Silly me. Stay right here."

"Why do they call 'em bits? Why not dollars?" Little Sin asked.

"Yes, because your asking the fucking professor of magical pony land here." Kerzon said sarcastically. "How the fuck should I know, you idiot?"

"You are the professor of magical pony land. And you know what? I deem you worthy to be the ambassador of faggot-town too. Now go and talk diplomatically to some faggots." Little Sin said.

"I already am." Kerzon said. "Though it not being diplomatic."

Little Sin grabbed Kerzon's head and placed it on his behind, where he then farted in his face. Kerzon pushed away as his flame head ignited the methane gas into flames.

"What the fuck!" Kerzon yelled. "Who knows what kind of diseases were sitting in your ass that you just blasted in my face you bitch!"

"That was awesome!" Little Sin exclaimed in satisfaction. "I not only farted in your face but it was a flaming fart too!"

"For fuck's sake. Why do I bother with you?" Kerzon said.

"Because you love me."

"Fuck off."

Pinkie came back down the stairs with an envelope and gave it to Rainbow Dash.

"Thanks Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said. "Who ordered these anyways? Seems like a lot for one pony."

"I don't know." Pinkie said. Pinkie grabbed a piece of paper and looked at it. "It looks like its going to the Cloudasseum to be sold at a concession stand. What a coinkeydink. Maybe when you guys are there you'll end up having some!"

"I doubt it." Tucker said. "I don't think I'll ever eat a cupcake again."

Infected

Grif woke up to the sound of birds chirping happily. He yawned and sat up on the couch, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Haley looked at him and tilted her head on its side.

"What are you looking at?" Grif asked more gruffly than he meant to.

Haley made a low, whining noise and lowered her head slightly.

"Sorry, you're probably just hungry." Grif said. "How about we go grab a bite to eat?"

Grif was about to head into the kitchen when a sharp pain shot through his leg. He grunted as he fell to the ground. Fluttershy walked into the room to investigate and saw Grif on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, running up to Grif with Eyha.

"Yeah. I just fell over." The two stared at Grif's leg and Fluttershy let out a gasp of horror. "What?" Grif asked.

"What the hell is wrong with your leg?" Eyha asked.

"What about it?" Grif looked down at his leg, which he noticed was turning green, the veins causing a webbing texture to appear. "What the fuck... What's wrong with it?"

"I-it's gr-green." Fluttershy peeped.

"Yeah, I noticed. But why is it green?" Grif asked.

"I don't know. It looks kind of cool." Eyha said.

"Cool? It hurts like a bitch. I thought you patched me up, Fluttershy." Grif said.

"I thought so too." Fluttershy said.

Grif stared at his wound once again and stepped on his hoof again, just to end up yelping with pain once again.

"Fuck that hurts." Grif muttered, shaking his hoof.

"Stay right here, I need to see something." Fluttershy said.

"I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to." Grif chuckled, slowly placing his hoof on the ground.

"Were are you going?" Eyha asked.

"To find out what's wrong." Fluttershy said.

Fluttershy went to check on a small medical book that she kept in her drawer, Eyha staying and starring at Grif's leg, which was increasingly turning green. She opened up the book and flipped to the index and skimmed through it, trying to find any hints as to what could be wrong, or how to help it heal. After a few brief minutes of hastily looking for solutions, she gave up the search. She looked around worriedly and put the book back in it's place and went back to Grif.

"We need to go see Twilight." Fluttershy said.

"Why?" Grif asked. "It's just a small infection."

"You don't know if it is just small." Fluttershy said. "It could be serious."

"I'm sure it will be fine." Grif laughed, walking back to the couch.

"Shut up and get your shit together, Grif." Eyha said, standing in front of the couch.

"Fine. Let's go." Grif muttered, then smiled. "You know, your kind of a dick. But your not like Sarge dick, so your cool."

Eyha smiled and nodded gratefully. He walked next to him and placed his injured leg over his neck to prevent him from standing on his infected hoof, Fluttershy did what she could to help as well. They then made their way to the library to seek Twilight’s aid.

Twilight had just woken up and made her way downstairs with Spike to where Church and Tody were rolling around, laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Twilight asked.

"Just Tucker being an idiot." Church said.

"What did he do?" Spike asked.

"He had a nightmare." Tody said.

"A nightmare?" Twilight asked. "What was it about?"

"It was about Caboose and Pinkie killing ponies and turning them into cupcakes." Church said.

Twilight stared at Church silently.

"That sounds horrifying." Twilight said.

"Yeah, you should have seen the look on his face when we made fun of him for it." Tody chuckled.

"You guys are terrible." Twilight said.

"Why are we terrible?" Church asked.

"Tucker had a horrifying experience, and you chastised him for it?" Twilight said.

"It was funny, but of coarse if you put it that way It's going to sound bad.." Tody said.

"That's because it is Tody." Twilight said.

"Maybe, but it was still pretty funny." Tody said.

"No, it's not." Twilight said. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "If that is Tucker I want you two to apologize to him."

"Fine." Church and Tody said together.

Twilight opened the door to see a worried Fluttershy and Eyha holding up a weak looking Grif.

"Fluttershy, what's wrong with Grif?" Twilight asked.

"I don't know." Fluttershy said. "I came here because I thought you would be able to help."

Twilight looked at Grif’s leg, which was covered in a strange substance.

"Church, Tody, Spike, you two look for my book of ailments and infections." Twilight said. "I'll look his wound over and see what I can find."

Church, Tody, and  Spike set off immediately and started looking for the book. Twilight made room on her table and she motioned Fluttershy to bring him over. Grif slowly climbed onto the table and laid down on it. Twilight gazed curiously at the wound. Upon closer inspection she noticed that this was by no means a regular infection. The green was not that of trapped bacteria, but that of moss.

"Found it." Spike said, grabbing a book off of the shelf.

"Hurry up and give it to me." Twilight said.

Spike hastily handed the book over to Twilight and she started to flip through it. It only took her a few seconds to find the right page, and when she found it she gasped inaudibly.

"What is it?" Eyha asked.

"It says that timberwolves have a secretion on their teeth. When a timberwolf bites you, the secretion gets into your bloodstream and continuously infects the pony. The infection is a slow and painful process that takes weeks to complete."

Fluttershy looked at Grif’s leg with a troubled expression.

"What else does it say?" Grif asked.

"It says that once the infection makes its way through the bloodstream it starts to take its effect." Twilight said. "It says that once the infection settles, it starts to turn the infected pony into a plant-like form. The pony then becomes tired and suffers through excruciating pain in the infected area as it gets covered in moss or bark. Over the course of a couple weeks, the pony soon loses mobility and the ability to eat, and then the infected pony dies."

Fluttershy started to shake slowly and looked at the book Twilight was holding.

"Fuck." Grif muttered. "I don't like the idea of dying."

"Well you could sleep for ever..." Tody said

"What's the cure?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"It says that no cure has ever been found." Twilight said sadly.

Fluttershy looked at Grif with a great feeling of regret and she hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry Grif. This is all my fault." Fluttershy said, tears welling up in her eyes. "If I hadn't left you alone with the bunnies none of this would have happened." Fluttershy looked at the floor sadly. Grif stared at her finding himself saddened by the sight.

"Hey, don't feel bad Fluttershy." Grif said, putting his hoof on her to comfort her. "It is mostly my fault anyways."

"Why is that?" Twilight asked.

"I did say I wanted to be a tree." Grif said weakly with a humorless chuckle. "Seems like I'm getting that wish granted."

To The Everfree

"This isn't a joke Grif." Church said.

"I thought it was pretty funny." Grif muttered. "Just trying to make light of the situation."

"How can you not be worried?" Twilight asked.

Grif shrugged and sat up on the table. He then jumped off and pain shot through his hoof again.

"Okay maybe I'm a bit worried." Grif said, grinding his teeth together in pain. "But Church, you know that I have lived through a lot worse."

"I know you can take a beating. I remember that time with Tex when she-"

"Yeah." Grif said, placing his hooves instinctively over his crotch at the mention of Tex. "I remember, and I am in no hurry to revisit that."

Eyha looked at Grif and let out a wry smile.

"Anyways, you can take a beating, but each of those times nobody actually tried to kill you." Church said. "They just tried to harm you."

Grif looked over at Church and raised his brow.

"Okay, so maybe Sarge has tried to kill you a couple times." Church said. "But I don't think he really wants you dead."

"What would make you think that?" Grif asked.

"Remember that time that Tucker almost killed you with Sheila?" Church asked.

"Tucker tried to kill Grif?" Twilight asked, appalled at the thought.

"Sarge took Simmons organs and put them into you." Church said, ignoring Twilight’s question. "And when you went into the forest Sarge didn’t accept the idea that you could be dead."

"Really?" Grif asked.

"Yeah, well. He kind of said that he would be the one to kill you. But the thought is still there."

"How inspiring." Grif muttered sarcastically, but did not hide his smile.

"But now it isn't just a beating you're in for." Church said, getting back on topic. "You've been told that odds are that you will die."

"Now I'm less worried." Grif said.

"How?" Fluttershy asked.

"Because I know that Sarge will get me before this shit does." Grif said, motioning to his infected hoof. "And Twilight said there was no cure. I've never been the one to volunteer for fighting, and I'm not going to fight something that is out of my hands- er, hooves."

Twilight stared at Grif, and looked back at the book. "The book said no cure has been found, that doesn't mean there isn’t one." Twilight said.

"What are you saying?" Tody asked.

"I'm saying that we shouldn't give up hope just yet." Twilight said. "I say we look for something to help you."

"But giving up hope is the only thing I'm good at." Grif said.

"What about that rhyming chick with the mohawk?" Eyha suggested. "She lives in that forest, so wouldn't she know more about the kind of stuff that goes on in it?"

"That would probably be the best place to start." Twilight agreed, nodding her head. "Fluttershy, you stay here with Grif, we'll go get the others to help us."

"Okay." Fluttershy said.

"Can I come?" Eyha asked.

"We're going to need help, so sure." Twilight said. "Come on Tody, you're coming too."

"What? Why would I go?" Tody asked.

"Because you're going to apologize to Tucker."

"I'll say that I acknowledge that he had a bad experience, but I really am not sorry. And I'm no liar." Tody said.

Twilight knew she wasn't going to get anything more out of the gold stallion. "We'll be back soon." She said, opening the door and walking out.

Fluttershy nodded slowly and sat down next to Grif. Church gave a half-hearted wave to the pair and made his way out the door, shutting it behind him. Fluttershy kept staring at the infection, blaming herself for what is happening.

"You really need to stop blaming yourself." Grif said.

"I can't help it." Fluttershy said weakly, hugging Grif once again. "You are going to die and it's all my fault."

"How about a bet?" Grif asked.

"What kind of bet?" Fluttershy asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"When I make it through this." Grif said. "Not if. When I make it through this, you spend a day in my shoes."

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"Take a day off. Sleep, rest, whatever. Just stop worrying about every little detail." Grif then raised his good hoof and smiled weakly. "Deal?"

"Deal." Fluttershy said, shaking his hoof, matching Grif’s weak smile.

Twilight’s first stop was Sugarcube Corner, catching Rainbow Dash, Kerzon, and Tucker as they were leaving. They quickly ran the situation by them as they grabbed Pinkie, Little Sin and Caboose. The group then made their way to the Carousel Boutique, where they found Tivos experimenting with magic and Rarity beginning her work on Simmons’ suit. Although they didn't fully explain what was going on, they knew that it seemed serious. The group then made their final stop at Sweet Apple Acres, where Enolc was cavorting about with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"What's going on here?" Enolc asked as the group walked up.

"Grif is in trouble." Church said.

"Anything out of the ordinary?" Enolc asked.

"It turns out that the timberwolf attack had more of an affect on Grif than we thought." Twilight said.

"What do you mean?" Sarge asked as he walked towards the group.

"He has been infected by the timberwolves, and if we don't find out what's wrong he could..." Church said, trailing off. "Who are the little ones?"

"Oh, right." Enolc said. "Listen, why don't you come and see me later. This might be a little bit out of your league."

"Nothing is out of our league." Scootaloo said happily.

"Trust me. This is." Enolc said.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders hesitantly nodded and made their way away from the group. Sarge and Enolc nodded at Church to continue.

"Anyways, the infection is painfully making its way through Grif’s body. If we don't do anything soon, Grif will be... seriously injured. We need both of you to help us find a cure."

"Hrm. If I exert zero energy, I get exactly what I've always wanted..." Sarge said with a laugh. "Yeah blue, that's a hell of a compelling argument on your part, bravo."

"I barely even know him." Enolc said.

"Well your lucky, my friend." Sarge replied.

"We're serious." Twilight said. "Grif could die, don't you care?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grunted. "Wait here, I'll go get Applejack. You commin', Enolc?"

"Nah. I'll stay here with everybody." Enolc said as Sarge nodded and trotted off.

"Don't mind him." Simmons said, "Sarge just doesn't want anybody to know that he will be the one to take Grif out before anyone else."

Being Followed

Everypony soon arrived back at Twilight’s place, where Grif was starting to doze off on the table.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Grif asked.

"Well I heard you were in pain, so naturally I hesitated as long as I could before coming here." Sarge said.

"Gee, thanks Sarge." Grif said, swinging his back hooves off the edge of the table.

Sarge looked at Grif’s infected leg seriously, slowly examining it. Before Grif asked what he was doing, Sarge promptly punched the infected area which caused Grif to fall back in pain.

"What the fuck was that for?" Grif yelled.

"I was just making sure you weren't faking it." Sarge said.

"Well at least now you know." Grif muttered.

"I don't know, that didn't seem genuine to me." Sarge said.

"Don't hit him." Fluttershy said quietly, placing herself between Sarge and Grif. Sarge just kept staring at Fluttershy, seemingly looking right through her. He then grunted and started towards the door.

"Can we get on with this shit already?" Kerzon said.

Eyha walked up to Grif and helped Fluttershy hoist Grif up. Grif nodded gratefully and started to make his way forward.

"I think I can do this by myself." Fluttershy said.

"You sure?" Eyha asked. Fluttershy nodded so Eyha let Grif’s other leg down.

"Hurry it up ladies." Sarge called from outside. "I want to make it there before Grif dies."

"You are a true leader of the people Sarge." Simmons said.

"Hey Simmons..." Grif said.

"What Grif?"

"When did you get your mark?" Grif asked.

Simmons walked behind Rarity, breaking Grif’s view of him as he responded, "Oh, I got it at Rarity’s Boutique."

"For what, sewing?" Grif asked, chuckling lightheartedly.

"Of course not." Simmons said, laughing weakly. "That would be totally womanly."

Sarge, confounded by the delays, walked back into the room and saw Simmons as he retreated around Rarity.

"Hey Simmons, did you get your mark for sewing?" Sarge said.

"Fuck." Simmons grunted, then looked to Sarge. "Yeah, I guess I did." Grif doubled over with laughter. He would have fallen had it not been for Fluttershy holding him up. "Fuck you Grif. It's no better than yours. How about you Sarge? You going to yell at me for feminizing the team?"

"Not at all." Sarge said. "I think it suits you just fine."

"Oh, ha ha Sarge." Simmons said sarcastically.

"I mean it." Sarge said. "You always had an eye for details. Almost half of the plans I came up with you would point out their flaws."

"Bullshit, if you told Simmons to jump, he would jump, then get on his knees and promise to jump higher next time." Grif said.

"Screw you Grif." Simmons muttered sourly.

"Well, he may not have spoken out, but I'm sure he saw the flaws in my plans, as few as there were." Sarge said.

"That's because your plans didn't have flaws, they were flaws thus eliminating the possibility of finding multiple flaws in each plan." Simmons said. "And it wasn't half the plans, it was basically all of them."

"See? Even now you still recall the flaws." Sarge said. "I would be surprised if that wasn't your special talent."

"Jesus, shut up and lets get going for fucks sake." Kerzon said.

Simmons promptly turned and walked out the door with Rarity and Tivos. Grif, with the aid of Fluttershy, walked over to Sarge. Grif leaned over to Sarge, "We're still going to rip on him later for being a woman, right?"

"Son, we're the red team." Sarge said. "Did you really even need to ask that?"

"Glad to hear it." Grif said.

The group soon found themselves at the edge of the Everfree Forest. For a few minutes they just stood there, staring into it trying to discern any dangers that might be lurking as soon as they entered.

"So, uh, should we get going?" Grif asked. "Not that I'm against standing around doing nothing."

"That's what I've been saying this whole time." Kerzon added.

"Hold on." Applejack said, scouring a bag she had strapped to her side.

"What are you doing?" Enolc asked.

"Jus' checkin' t' make sure I have my supplies in order." After a few brief moments Applejack stopped. "Alright let's go."

Applejack then started to make her way into the forest. The others quickly followed her lead, trying to hold a steady pace. From behind a bush, a small filly’s head poked out.

"Why are they going in there?" Scootaloo asked.

"Ah don't know." Applebloom said. "It was hard t' hear 'em from so far away."

"I think it had something to do with that Grif guy." Sweetie Belle said.

"What makes you say that?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, at the farm the blue stallion mentioned Grif’s name." Sweetie Belle said. "And Fluttershy seemed to be carrying him."

After a couple seconds of silence, one of the crusaders spoke again. "So should we follow them?" Scootaloo asked.

"I don't know Scoots." Applebloom said. "I told mah sis I would never go back in there 'less I was bein' accompanied by an adult."

"What do you think Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo asked. "Are you too scared to go in?"

"I din't say I was scared." Applebloom protested. "I said that we'd be safer with an adult."

"Being an adult is the whole point Applebloom." Scootaloo said. "Sarge said he would help us. What if he needs our help and we don't go and lose a chance on getting our cutie marks."

"That's true. He did say he would help us." Sweetie Belle said, thinking for a brief moment. "I think we should follow them."

"So are you in Applebloom, or are you a chicken?" Scootaloo asked.

"Am not! You're the chicken!" Applebloom said.

"Prove it." Scootaloo said. "Let's go in and trail them."

Applebloom looked into the forest and felt like she was being watched by something from within.

"Fine." Applebloom said, putting on a thin veil of courage. "Let's just hurry up an' try t' keep outta harm’s way." The Cutie Mark Crusaders then hastily followed the group's tracks, deep into the Everfree Forest.

Save

*NOTICE: The events stated in this fanfiction are not 100% accurate to the events that happened in the Sangheili community and are slightly modified for the improvisation of the story itself.

"Recording log."

"The humans call these times the 'year 2557'. More specifically, the 15th of July of that human planetary cycle. For some reason, I find myself using human calenders. In truth, I believe it to be because I do not know what to call these times any longer. Why this is? Hmm, where do I begin?

After our great Covenant fell in the year 2552, many Sangheili aside from Arbiter Thel 'Vadam had the task of retaliating against the loyalists in the Great Schism. Splintered, confused, and without leadership, several Fleet Masters and even Ship Masters had the command of entire armadas thrust upon them like a storm. First, it started with a pair of large fleets called the Sovereign Guard and the Guardians of High Charity, however as the Great Schism came to a close and the High Prophet of Truth was slain by the Arbiter himself, they had splintered into many different powerful fleets and armadas such as the Fleet of Crusading Spirit, the Legendary Vanguard, the Sangheili Eminence Fleet, and finally, the Sangheili Regiment Fleet. As the Jiralhanae, appropriately nicknamed by the humans as "Brutes", were pushed back to their homeworld and the war settled, the fleets and armadas created from the Great Schism became independent from the unified Sangheili separatist banner and began proclaiming certain areas of Sangheili controlled space as their territory alone, the leaders commanding them, through their many resources, managed to acquire sets of Imperial Admiral armor, and self-proclaimed themselves the Imperial Admirals of their respective fleets and territories.

Ando 'Vandaree, a political officer within the Sangheili Eminence scheduled a political gathering with the rest of the fleets occupying Sangheili controlled space. These leaders discussed forming a large political council of fleets and armadas called the "Neo Covenant". This new Covenant would spawn a new era of peace and prosperity midst the Sangheili space remnants. The leaders of this organization would use their men and resources to find the true loyalist way. Their goal was to find who and what their gods actually were, and what they really wanted from their loyal servants. They were to reclaim the honour they had lost following the prophets in a false pursuit of lies, and to seek the truth. It was succeeding, that was until the Sangheili race's incessant lust for blood and combat won over the hearts of this new covenant's core. The Sovereign Guard, one of the most prominent armadas in the Neo Covenant, became illustrious with the rest of the fleets, however they became restless.

They had nothing and nobody to fight. Their people became hungry for battle, and their wishes were not being met.

On one fateful day, the Sovereign Guard launched an interstellar invasion on one of the worlds occupying Sangheili Eminence controlled space. They took the world with ease. Imperial Admiral Takanuva Makuta, the leader of the Sangheili Eminence, joined the Crusading Spirit Fleet under Admiral Xzan 'Jar Tamasee to refresh and regroup his forces. He soon after left the Crusading Spirit, earning the loyalties of and bringing a small portion of the fleet with him back into the Sangheili Eminence, and reclaimed his former territory, causing an everlasting rivalry between the organizations of the Neo Covenant that split the alliance up and caused it to collapse. With the rivalry between the Sovereign Guard, the Sangheili Eminence, and the Crusading Spirit Fleet, there was only one fleet remaining that was not directly involving itself with these conflicts.

The Sangheili Regiment Fleet, commanded by Imperial Admiral Ancr 'Goboree."

He stood there, eyeing the wall that his Imperial Admiral armour adorned, still wearing the Admiral's head dress that he had worn for so many years. Taking it off, he sighed and placed it on the wall with the other armour pieces.

"Shipmaster, we are arriving at our destination. Ancr 'Goboree will be awaiting our word." He heard his second in command, Anst 'Zidosee, say through the comm.

"I'll be there." He said. He walked closer to the Imperial Admiral armour and placed his hand in the chest plate. "It has been a long time, but every leader's time must come."

Arriving on the bridge, Kerzon 'Xydosai made his way to his command chair and took a seat.

"You look different without your armour." Anst said.

"I feel different without it. What's the situation?"

"We have entered Sangheili Regiment controlled space. The Imperial Admiral is requesting we send our verification codes to the fleet immediately. They say if we do not they will open fire."

Kerzon sighed and sent his verification codes to the fleet using the console on the arm of his chair.

"We are being hailed." The communications officer stated.

"Open a channel."

"This is Imperial Admiral Ancr 'Jar Goboree of the Sangheili Regiment Fleet. I will send two escort ships from my fleet to escort you and your men to the

Promethean Equilibrium

The date is April 17, 2553, almost an entire year since the end of the Covenant-Human war, since refered to as the 'great war'. The BTS Promethean Equilibrium, capital ship of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet, was on root to the Sangheili homeworld, Sangheilios, via quantum slipstream drive, or for short, slip-space. The ship was a massive COS class super-carrier, measuring 95,013 feet from bow to stern, with several powerful armaments such as plasma turrets, plasma torpedoes, pulse laser turrets, and 7 energized matter projectors capable of cleansing life from entire worlds. It was the marvel of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet, the prized starship.

On the main command bridge were dozens of powerful Sangheili warriors tending to their stations, making sure that their leaders ship was in good care. Supreme Commander Tivos 'Xytranee was temporarily in command of the ship, as his leader was busy with pressing matters. Supreme Commander Tivos 'Xytranee wore Field Marshall armour. It was coloured a dark violet with some parts that were dark grey.

"Status report." He ordered calmly threw his English accent. The crew's response was quick and snappy, much to the Supreme Commander's delight. The man at the navigation station responded quickly.

"Navigation is operating within normal parameters, holding a steady course at slipspace velocity for Sangheilios. ETA: 10 minutes."

Right after of which the communications officer spoke. "Nothing to report here, commander. Communications with the rest of the fleet are still normal and sensors are still operating at peak efficiency."

Then the tactical officer. "All weapons systems are nominal."

"Slipspace portal steady, repulsor drive on standby for re-entry, commander." Reported the engineering station.

"Good." Supreme Commander Tivos Xytranee was pleased with how good he had taken care of his leader's ship yet another time. He imagined that his leader would commend him for his service.

Everybody was sent into silence as they heard slow, heavy footsteps coming from the door at the back of the bridge. The door made a humming sound, unlocked, and opened as two high ranking officers of the Imperial Guard stepped out and quickly repositioned themselves on both sides of the doorway to allow for somebody to pass. They both stood at complete attention, not even moving a muscle.

The one guard on the right was the Ascetic, the high command chief of the Imperial Guard, Ascetic Enolc 'Relikee. He wore white and cyan coloured ascetic armour, his helmet was sealed and had two razor sharp tritanium daggers sticking out of the sides. His eye plates glowing bright yellow. To his left was Honour Guard Ultra Eyha 'Ohsolee. He wore white and red Honour Guard armour with glowing yellow lights plastered all over his armour, the most prominent ones being the giant glowing yellow columns that curved out of the top of his helmet. They both carried glowing honour guard pikes.

Footsteps could still be heard approaching the doorway as a figure emerged from the darkness of the corridor. A tall and large Sangheili walked onto the bridge. Like the Supreme Commander, he wore Field Marshall armour. Accept instead of being violet and grey, his armour was white and gold and had a red-purple coloured jet pack mounted to his back.

Strangely, his head ignited into flames and his helmet was on fire.

"Just turned on my flame-head." He chimed.

Supreme Commander Tivos Xytranee immediately took notice to his brothers presence and stood up, fast.

"Imperial Admiral, on the bridge!" He yelled loudly.

Everybody immediately got up and stopped what they were doing. They stood up at attention, the Supreme Commander giving of a respectful salute to the Admiral.

Imperial Admiral Kerzon Fal 'Xytranai was the leader of the Blades of Transcendence Fleet, and the ship master of the BTS Promethean Equilibrium. He was a battle ready and capable leader and soldier of the field who was well conditioned with any weapon and any situation. He had a mysterious flame burning around his head to evoke fear in his enemies. He was the Kaidon of the State of 'Xytran on Sangheilios and earned the status of Aristocrat threw his martial prowess in hand-to-hand combat and with the Energy Sword.

"How many times do I gotta tell you guys? I'm not a fucking hard-ass, okay? Now enough of this regulation shit. Report." Everybody on the bridge relaxed and went back to their jobs, accept Commander Tivos.

The Supreme Commander gave him a full report, noticing that behind the Admiral was standing a Human.

"Um.... Admiral. There is a Human scum behind you." The Commander Tivos Xytranee said in disgust to his brother.

"Scum? Who you callin' scum, fu?" The human said. He was a 7 foot tall human with tan coloured armour. He wore GUNGNIR  head gear, Collar/Breacher chest gear, and had sniper bullets mounted to his arms. He had 2 UNSC magnums on his thigh and an 8 gauge, Semi-Automatic AA-14 shotgun magnetically attached to his back.

The Commander growled and grabbed for his energy sword. Right then the Admiral grabbed the human's shotgun, and aimed it at Supreme Commander Tivos.

"Bitch!" The human yelled and grabbed his shotgun from Admiral Kerzon.

Tivos face-palmed and sighed. "Little Sin, why are you on this ship?"

"How did you know it was me, braw?" The human said.

"Your the only idiot who carries around a semi-automatic shotgun that is 8 gauge." The Admiral interrupted before Tivos could say anything.

"So why did you want me here?" Little Sin said.

"We are about to pull off the most fucking hilarious thing in the history of both our kinds." The Admiral said in response.

"You know that one prick that told me off the other day at that club?"

"Yeah."

"Well I found out who he is. He's the elder in a state called the State of Katar."

"So?"

"I'm gonna burn my name into the ground of his state using one of the energy projectors on my ship." He chuckled and sat down in his command chair, his honour guards followed. "It's gonna be fucking rad."

Early Start

The next morning Sarge was awoken early by Applejack over at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Rise'n shine Sarge." Applejack said, tapping on Sarge’s shoulder. "If we hurry we can finish buckin' all the apples today."

"Sounds good." Sarge said, yawning heavily and stretching.

Applejack smiled and left the barn, Sarge got up and followed soon after. By the time he'd gotten outside, Big Mac had already started to work.

"What about Emelc, or whatever his name was."

"Enolc." Enolc said from a tree which he bucked. "Enolc 'Relikee."

Sarge smirked in respect for Enolc's enthusiasm to work.

Instead of exchanging pleasantries, the group just went straight to work. It took them just a couple hours to finish off what was left of the apple trees.

"Listen Sarge." Applejack said, wiping sweat off of her brow. "I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I really appreciate you helpin' us out. And Enolc, bright n' early, you just got here but we appreciate your help too. Me n' Big Mac made y'all a thank you gift. It's inside the house."

"Really?" Enolc said.

"You shouldn't have." Sarge said. "Is it a shotgun?"

"What in tarnation is a shotgun?" Applejack asked.

"The most beautiful discovery since hurting Grif." Sarge said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

"No it isn't a shotgun." Applejack said, laughing slightly. "It is something much better than that."

"Better than a shotgun?" Sarge said. "I find that hard to believe."

"Come on, it'll be easier if we just show you two what it is." Applejack said, opening the door to the home.

"Better than a shotgun." Sarge muttered. "That'll be the day."

"It would be the day if people started making shotguns around here, wouldn't it?" Enolc remarked.

"Very funny." Sarge muttered.

Applejack made her way to a table where Granny Smith and Applebloom were sitting. There two small boxes that sat on the table and Applejack grabbed them. She then walked up to Sarge and held one up to him.

"We know it isn't much, but we still hope ya like it." Applejack said, rubbing the back of her neck.

Sarge grabbed the box and opened it slowly and saw a dark brown stetson hat.

"You got me a hat?" Sarge asked.

"We dun’ have much so it was hard t' find a proper way to repay ya." Applejack said. "We just wanted t' tell ya that we really do appreciate ya bein’ here Sarge. And we consider ya to be apart of the apple family now."

Sarge gazed at the hat and grabbed it. He put it on and looked back at Applejack.

"D'ya like it?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah. Yeah I do." Sarge said happily.

Applejack walked up to Enolc with the other box. "Here y'are." She said with a smile. "Me and the apple family figured you'd be here fer a while t' help out, so we got you one too."

Enolc opened the box and put the hat on. "Thanks." He said as he flicked the top of his hat like a cowboy.