Bat Soup

by Mark Garg von Herbalist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tempest Shadow, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: The Movie
Length: 1077

Twilight wants to take Tempest out to eat. Unfortunately for her, Tempest is craving something batty.

Twilight wants to take Tempest out to eat. Unfortunately for her, Tempest is craving something batty.

Published 2018-05-04 22:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-04 22:20:07 UTC

Best Soup

Twilight Sparkle just wants a nice lunch to go with the beautiful day in Manehatten, but that is apparently too much to ask for. The reason is not because of the stack of paperwork she has to do for her slice of Equestria, nor because of the impeding meeting between her and the officials of Ponyville and the surrounding towns when she returns. No, the troubles have started because of an answer to a very simple question.

An answer that she is hoping she heard wrong.

“I'm sorry, but... what?” says Twilight.

“Bat soup,” says Tempest.

Twilight stares at Tempest, her eyes have yet to shrink to normal size after hearing Tempest the first time, and with the unicorn sitting on the plush hotel bed, still in her armor and staring at her with a neutral face, she is not sure how long her eyes have before they dry out from exposure.

“But... why?” asks Twilight.

“Why bat soup?” asks Tempest.

“Yeah.”

“Because it has been a long time since I had it. Like, a month. And Manehatten doesn't exactly have a good meat market.”

“That's because we don't eat meat. How about a hayburger?” Twilight uses her magic to bring her saddle over and levitates a bundle of coupons for Hearty's Junior. Specifically a Buy-One-Get-One thick hayburger coupon and another for discounted horseshoe rings. “I got coupons!”

Tempest frowns. “Do you realize how unhealthy those are?”

Twilight returns the frown. “You eat bats.”

“Because they are delicious.”

“No they aren't!”

“Have you ever had bat?”

“Well, no.” Twilight puts the coupons away, stammering: “B-but I know not to eat them. They are not healthy or right for a pony to consume.”

“Twilight, we're omnivores,” says Tempest as she crawls off of the bed to approach the alicorn. “We eat eggs all the time and I know Fluttershy loves her fish, and yet you don't complain about that.”

“That is because fish have the necessary oils and vitamins for lustrous coats, plus the omega-3 acid converts fatty acids into energy which helps us fly and keep our figures lean.”

To make her point, Twilight puffs out her chest for maximum purple fluff and expands her wings to show off how amazing and shiny her preened feathers and healthy coat are. Though, Tempest meets this flaunting with a bored look.

“Right~” says Tempest slowly, “and bat meat also has omega-3 which is good for intelligence, and it has kitofetin which helps with the respiratory system, has a lot of protein and it has benefits for your complexion.”

And just like that, Twilight's wings drop with her ears, and she can only stare at Tempest, too stunned to formulate words.

“You didn't think I stayed this good looking with mud baths and makeup, did you?” says Tempest, smiling thinly.

“Actually I did,” admits Twilight sheepishly, looking away to paw the floor.

“Well, you're right.”

Twilight looks at Tempest, her posture perked. “I am?”

Tempest nods. “Yes. I have a nice stash of makeup and face cream to keep myself looking at least somewhat young. Which reminds me that I am running low on those.”

Twilight sighs with relief, and with a chuckle, she says: “You got me good. I thought you actually ate bat.”

“I do. Bat meat is healthy and tasty.”

“Oh, gross!”

Twilight stomps her hoof and shakes her head, pacing in circles and spewing out a stream of “No's”, and as this happens, Tempest sits down and casually inspects her hoof.

“Don't knock it til you try it,” says Tempest. “I mean, I thought pickled flavored ice cream would be gross, but now it is one of my favorites. Just like bat soup.”

“Pickled flavored ice cream!? Where do you- No! I don't- You have got to be messing with me. You're messing with me, right?”

“I don't joke.”

Twilight opens her mouth, but no words come out, and in a snap her mouth closes and she levitates the coupons again after some seconds of silence.

“Can we please just get burgers and horseshoe rings?” begs Twilight. “They are literally normal.”

Tempest rolls her eyes, however there is a knock on the door before she can answer, and Twilight politely excuses herself to answer it. Who she finds standing outside, wearing a bulky saddle and levitating a list as well as a box covered with white wrapping paper and a purple bow is Rarity. She is panting, her mane is a mess, her face is flushed and sweat runs down every curve of her body and sticks her mane to her head and neck.

“Rarity... what a surprise!” says Twilight. She steps aside and motions Rarity to enter. “Why don't you come in? You look like you can use a drink. And probably a nap.”

As Twilight says this, Tempest steps forward to get a better view and tilts her head slightly, brow raised in question, and Rarity shakes her head and hoof, which flings some sweat on to Twilight.

“No time,” says Rarity between her heavy breaths. “My delivery colt got hospitalized after he and the muffin man had a dispute and now I'm having to run around to deliver all these dresses and suits before the deadlines while Coco watches the shop. Naturally it just had to happen on the day that the taxi union decided to go on strike, so I am having the absolute worst day of the year right now. But enough about me, here's your dress. You can pay me later. I know you're good for it.”

Rarity gives the box to Twilight, and when she sees Tempest standing behind her, her posture stiffens, and with shrunken pupils she waves a shaky hoof.

“Oh... H-Hello, Tempest,” says Rarity.

“Hello, Rarity,” says Tempest. “Do you know where we can get bat soup?”

“TEMPEST!” scolds Twilight.

Tempest shrugs and Rarity smiles and relaxes a little bit.

“Oh, bat soup? Gerald the Griffin on 317 Walking Way serves the best in Manehatten,” says Rarity.

Twilight whips to Rarity, pale and mouth hanging open. “How do you even know that!?”

“Because I eat only the best, Twilight, and Gerald serves the best bat soup. Anyway, I have to go. There's your dress and I will see you tonight. Provided that I can actually remain awake after this ordeal!”

Rarity hugs Twilight and then gallops away. When the door closes, Tempest grins and looks at one horrified Twilight.

“I like her.”

-Koniec-