Only a fool would turn down such a bounty...
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Only a fool would turn down such a bounty...
Six changelings. That’s how many were needed for this unbelievably crucial mission, each trained in a specific art that would lead them to their victory. Lockpicking, assassination, kidnapping, and deceit. If done correctly, the entire swarm could hold Equestria in the frog of their hooves. With cunning and guile, the six had managed to sneak into Ponyville and up to their target location. Nopony was awake at this time. At least, nopony important. The only witness to the team’s actions would be the moon itself, which would in turn probably tell Princess Luna at the end of the night. But by then, it would be too late.
It was almost too easy to get into the impenetrable crystal castle. Extremely easy. In fact, the doors were left unlocked. Sort of unsafe, if you ask me.
‘What sort of Princess doesn’t have any guards? If we can easily walk into her home, then wouldn’t anypony with malicious intent do just that? Surely there must be traps about.’ the changelings said to one another.
And right they were to expect traps to be around in the Princess of Friendship’s castle, at least they thought they would be right. In their eyes, all that could be seen was a dark and cavernous building. With a flutter of their wings, five of the six gently buzzed up onto the roof, gripping the ceiling with their insect hoof things.
They were so close to their goal, yet so far. All they need do was go into Twilight Sparkle’s room, steal what they were there to take, and leave. This was more important than kidnapping ponies to steal their love, more important than conquest. Even more important than serving their queen. If they could pull it off, they would be crowned heroes of the changeling hives.
Inching ever so slowly as to not make any clicking noises with their hooves, the five on the room made their way through the castle together. The remaining creature on the ground walked off to complete his own mission: to raid the refrigerator. This was crucial to the success of the other five, for if the refrigerator was not drained of its contents, the Princess would notice her missing valuables. It was not an honorable job, but Jeff didn’t care. Nopony likes Jeff because he’s a glutton for pony food.
If only the other five’s mission were as easy as Jeff’s.
Carefully opening up the purple alicorn’s bedroom, the five crawled in. In front of them was the bounty they had come for. If they were to take this chest and apply the contents to themselves, they would be able to feed their hive for hundreds, if not thousands of generations to come. And to think, ponies actually loved seeing them on one another. What changeling would be foolish enough to turn down unlimited adoration and love? You’d have to be crazy to turn it down.
‘All we need is one. Just one.’ the changelings repeated in their minds, and yet they hesitated. Was it wrong to take such treasures from a pony, even one as hated by them as SHE was? Yes, it was truly unforgivable and if the Princess ever found out it was them who took it, no doubt there would be bloodshed. But years of starvation are enough to motivate any sane being into action.
With their fear behind them, the five changelings moved inward towards the chest with the prize. Opening it slowly, they saw the treasure in all its cloth glory: panties. Pink and red and yellow panties. Panties with lace and panties with stripes. Even panties made of a single piece of string. Mountains of the lewd underwear poured out from the chest. Actually, it was more or less about ten or twenty pairs. None of them knew how to count, so they couldn’t tell you exactly how many.
Each changeling slipped on a pair of the sexual garments. They could feel the power the clothing radiating. It was almost enough to make them giggle with the victory they had found. When suddenly, Twilight Sparkle herself stirred from her slumber in a fit of madness. Her eyes were ablaze with both fear and confusion at the sight in front of her. Changelings in panties? What sort of nonsense was this?
“What are you all doing in my room?” asked the purple alicorn, who’s horn was alight with it’s deadly and gentle glow.
Scrambling to their hooves, the changelings grabbed as many of the panties as they could before charging out a nearby window.
“Well, that was strange. Why were they in my underwear chest? Why do I even have one of these when I’m naked like twenty-four seven?”
Upon hearing the clatter of unknown items fall from downstairs, the Princess jumped hastily from her bed, leaving her horn aglow with the gentle light spell. As she made her way down her staircase and into the hallway of her crystal castle, her hooves clicking against the cold stone floor. Ahead of her was a familiar yellow light with a black silhouette that she could almost recognize.
Gently peaking from behind the door, Twilight spotted an overweight earthpony quickly munching away on a slice of carrot cake. Has our hero’s time finally come? Will he meet his end at the hooves of a jealous and cruel princess?
“Goddamnit Jeff, this is why I stopped inviting you over in the first place! That’s the last piece of carrot cake I had in this damn castle! Now I have to buy some more!” screamed Twilight.
The overweight stallion simply looked at her with a blank expression, shoveling more of the delicious cake into his mouth. Had he been any other pony, it probably wouldn’t have bothered the Princess much, but not Jeff. Everypony hates Jeff.
“Well, ya caught me. Not like it matters. I’m just here for the food.”
“Just finish the damn slice and get out of here. I have a meeting with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna tomorrow morning…”
Author's Note
This story will not make sense and I don't expect it to. However, if it does make sense, you should probably get some help. This story is a combination of stupidity and more stupidity. It's just a shitpost I thought was funny at the time.
