Equestrian Shenanigans: Multiverse antics

by Windsaw

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 3894

A brony sent on what was supposed to be a not so wild, wild recon mission

Another HIE~

I started reading the Great Brony Migration a while a go and decided to try something along those lines….Don't kill me

It's just another roughly typed idea so just comment on it I guess and I'll continue if I'm doing it right >_>

//WARNING// May contain some sexual themes eventually so don't let your guard down

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-26 21:44:01 UTC

D.E.R.P.S.

(N/A: I'd just like to say, one more time, that I do like to think ahead, this was inspired by another story, and that this hasn't been proofed but it has been spell checked here and there. If there's anypony out there who would like to be my proof reader just pm me and we can set up some form of contact. Tips are always welcome and I'd love to do joint work when ever I'm offered~ So if you think I'd be somewhat of any help at all just

Thanks and enjoy....please?)

I was called in today by the boss himself. Business has actually been slow for us recently so I was actually excited to be called in on such short notice. Rolland, our boss, is the head of  the Diligent Equestrian Research and Protective Services or "D.E.R.P.S" which was a hilariously ironic name for us to use. Rolland  is prankster and a good leader, I‘m somewhat of a genius I guess who‘s quick as well as resourceful, and Isaac is a mean s.o.b. who could get his hands on anything. Rolland, who runs the research department as well, was pretty smart himself actually. Lately, he's come up with a few ideas on how to reach the promised land of Equestria. Although, when I say "runs the research department" ,I mean he delegates half of his work to me while he plays minecraft then jumps into the work with me and the rest. I ran the protective services division which meant that I trained bronies to protect others and spread as much friendship as possible. And Isaac pretty much gathered funding and equipment from unknown sources and we never dared to ask cause he's such a crazy s.o.b. who could've had you thrown into an oven, your body sold in McDonald's as a quarter-pounder, and then eaten by your family somehow, or worse just for looking at him the wrong way. He's sadistic but mostly towards to his enemies. You should have seen him in high school.

The guy fed some poor douche an asbestos and mercury sandwich, which was described to have been the best sandwich ever up until the point where he died. But strangely enough, I actually find the guy hilarious and I'm glad to have him as a friend along with Rolland who was the one who decided that it was a good idea to keep him around. Rolland was  my best friend from my freshman year in high school. We did lived together, laughed together, and fought together. We actually gained our "fighting buddies/ friendship“ status during the first day we met after a rumble at school. We both questioned our parent's decisions on send us to a school with the highest rate of accidents, pregnancies, drug busts, and brawls. After that we just started hanging out and discovered that we have a lot in common. We were pretty much bros after that. We all became bronies when Isaac was caught watching My little pony in the dark inside his room. Rolland and I opened the door only to find a giggling madman and a very bright screen.

We both question Isaac who was pretty flustered when we asked him what he was doing. Knowing that we were all pretty close, given that we've been friends for such a long time, he told us that not too long ago he found memes based on this show and now he's hooked on it like a drug. Once he told us that, we both decided to give it a shot. I found it quite amusing and was hooked instantly as well as Rolland, who's now an RD fan. Isaac's an AppleJack fan and I'm a Fluttershy fan mostly. We've been watching MLP: Friendship is Magic ever since.

After a few months of brony shenanigans and college student antics, Rolland came up with the idea of an organization run by bronies everywhere that would be dedicated to helping others and keeping bronies safe from ridicule and loneliness. Within 3 years the organization had been formed and has grown miraculously due to the number of bronies willing to help us. Our goal was to either find a way to Equestria or to make this world somewhat a better place for people like us. Our research has assisted  us to deduce that in actuality, we live in a multiverse, and that it's constantly growing. Although, based off other theories and a few marvel comics, we've figured out that worlds are not only the fruit of several branches in the time stream created by events that could possibly happen, but they are also the produce of the creations and ideas of others.

When an idea pops up into someone's head it also appears as a starting point for a universe. During the developing stages of said idea it begins to become more elaborate and detailed. While this is happening, a world is created and it sprouts like a seed into another tree that is free to create its own worlds and universes.

Knowing this we've begun the construction of teleportation apparatuses, space arks, weapons, communication devices, and items  with unique abilities to prepare ourselves for a seemingly impossible journey. When you look at this world in comparison to Equestria, you would more than likely agree it's not worth it anymore. Seeing as how this world thinks, it would be impossible to sway more than over half of its minds to one direction which gave us a good reason to not want to live on this planet anymore.

Next Chapter: To the Promised Land

( N/A: Random fun fact: My net book is an Asian when it comes to drivers but I love Asians. So while I'm moving my gear up I only have my net book to type on at the moment. All my other stuff including my desktop with the rest of my story ideas and revised versions of other ideas on it are in another castle. So if your reading this, just have patience and I should have some stuff updated by Saturday....My grandma's having surgery on Friday and I'm hoping everything goes well)

To the Promised Land

Our whole organization had been disguised as an innocent fan base/support group who did nothing more than organize conventions, interviews, and things like that. But in actuality, we're a  military like faction that is about to achieve multiverse travel. Our friendship and longing for a more peaceful world had been our drive which has lead to our progress towards this feat. Compared to the world, that's really saying something. We've gotten farther than any government in the world in practically all fields of research and development. I had been driving a white van filled with other bronies bought by Isaac to the warehouse in which it all started. Our research, our planning, and our lives all began here. As we were coming up to the building, the doors slid open slowly and I drove inside into darkness. Afterwards, the door shut, the lights switched on, and bronies poured out of the van to start working in whatever branch they belong to.

I got out of the van and walked towards the elevator and went to the top floor. Once there, I walked to the end of the hall into a glass conference room. Rolland and Isaac were already waiting for me. I sat down in the round room which remained quite for another 3 minutes. Finally, I felt a bit awkward and asked" Sup Gentlemen?". Rolland had his elbows on the table and his hands balled up into a thinker pose covering his mouth. His wild blond hair covering one of his green eyes while the other stared at me. He sighed and produced a vanilla folder from under the table and slid it across the table towards me. I opened it up and noticed that his lips formed a huge smile. As I looked inside the folder I found layouts and blueprints of many different devices that we and the rest of the research department came up with although, they were slightly modified since the last time I've seen them. I gasped and my eyes widened in surprise." We've finally found out how to get to Equestria James", he said grinning while sitting back in his chair with his feet kicked up, feeling accomplished. "B-but how? Who finished the designs?" I asked. Isaac spoke up and said " It was a new recruit and some of  all of our old notes that helped us.

He's also helped us come up with three other machines that should help us get there. "New recruit? Who ?" I asked with peaked curiosity and excitement. " A guy who goes by the name of Conner R. Reltz. He was recruited by Isaac who found him in Atlanta, Georgia" replied Rolland. "Now we just need a test subject", said Isaac who took the same position as Rolland. His black hair filled his hoodie as he layed back. I paused for a moment and thought to myself" This was a once in a lifetime chance! What would Cave Johnson say? Probably something like“Science isn’t about why, it’s about why not!“.  "I'll do it ", I blurted out like an excited child with his hand raised. They both looked up at me impressed and with delight."You'll really do it man? I mean there are a few complications we'll have to discuss later James but really?", asked Rolland almost standing in his Office chair. I got the folding chair for being late....damnt it. "You know how much danger you'd be in? We're not even sure if you'll be sent to the right Equestria. I mean there's over billions of them and who knows what you'll run into!", exclaimed Isaac said sitting upright in his chair with a serious look on his face. Funny thing is, I’ve never seen him worried like this; I guess he really isn’t bad all the time."I know the risk but I also know what will happen when and if we find the right one", I responded and then paused for a minute and looked out the window. 'Salvation" was the only word that came out of my mouth after my previous response. Both Isaac and Rolland were silent but agreed that the risk would be worth it.

"Let's just make sure that we take the necessary precautions for this", I said as I look at Rolland and Isaac. We all nodded and the meeting was adjourned. We all ran down the stairs to grab dinner. The actual discussion took a while and we were getting crazy hungry. I guess we were having a race since Isaac was getting somewhat competitive with us by sprinting since Rolland began with a slow walk and I started walking faster. As we ran down the hall and all got to the elevator at the same time. We boarded in an orderly and calm fashion. We disembarked from the elevator on the third floor and walked into a large section of the floor containing offices. As we passed workers, we received several greetings and woots. Trish Ng, Isaac’s ex girlfriend appeared from her workspace. Isaac, Rolland and I noped and walked the other way. There was a good amount of giggling coming from every direction. Trish decided to follow us and we decided to run. Trish became Isaac’s ex by cheating in front of witnesses, exclaiming how he wasn’t good enough. Now she wants him back but we all know that she only likes him for what he can do and his achievements and she’s one of those girls with no dignity and always need a boyfriend. We ran through the office as fast as we could to avoid her. I jumped a copier, Rolland ran around, and Isaac kept pushing objects in Trish’s path. I had no relationship with her but Rolland was the one who introduced the two. After a wave of screams, laughter, and crashes passed, we all came crashing through the door to the cafe area on this side of the building.

" Hey, you three ok?“,  The male cafeteria worker laughed and said to us after a sigh and a quick laugh. We responded with a few nods and brushed ourselves off." You three...". We were known to always be in some kind of situation. I was wearing a pair of black jeans, a tight fit Tri-force T-shirt and black converses, Isaac, with his black hoodie, wore blue jeans and Emerican shoes, and Rolland wore a white dress shirt, black jeans, and a red tie.  We were pretty laid back for an organization. We wore practically anything we wanted and didn't require anyone to wear formal clothing only equipment and coats if necessary. We got up and got in line to grab something to eat. I grabbed pancakes, Isaac grabbed some tacos, and Rolland the apple pie. Once we grabbed our food and sat down I couldn't help but to ask something. "Hey guys", I asked" What did you mean by "complications". I was a little worried but overall excited that we still achieved multi dimensional travel. Isaac and Rolland looked at each other then at me." Well..." ,they both went" We have no idea what Equestria you'll land in a-"." Yes yes dear friends, I told you I already agreed to this" I interrupted with a British accent as I took a bite of my pancakes. "This cafeteria is amazing", I thought " It's like they have a grocery store back there".

Rolland continued....

" Well there's that and the problem that we also have no idea where in Equestria you'll land. We haven't exactly gotten aiming down yet. Although, it's not a one way trip ". Isaac took over the conversation from there. "And I figured that since we have no idea which Equestria you'll land in for example , the cupcakes universe,the pony fallout pony vegas universe, the rainbow factory universe, the silent Ponyville universe, some universe where something like the "T" virus spreaded, or the princess Molestia universe, we'd give you some supplies and a way to contact us". " Wait, the rainbow factory universe?", I asked confused. "Do you think that Rainbow Dash would actually hunt me down? And you think that the princess would actually rape me? I thought she hated humans or whatever" I had a a lot of questions and new found worries but the list was too long ." You never know dude" Isaac replied and began eating. Rolland tapped his glass of milk with his fork and gained the attention of the entire room. " Attention", he exclaimed" Everyone, we've found a way to Equestria and we'll be relocating there after a few months, so get ready everypony!!!". Everyone immediately responded with cheers, woots,  "awww yeaahs", along with many other obviously positive responses. I guess some of us were a bit TOO excited... jeez. It was for a good reason though. I mean earlier  during our little conference I felt like  I could fly to the moon powered by sheer excitement. Papers went flying and a party practically started right here.We finished and left our comrades to a feast and  their relaxation before the operation started.

Next Chapter: Let's Rock Baby Yeah!!!

Let's Rock Baby Yeah!!!

We finished our meals we walked down the hall and down a set of stairs. Our research department was larger than the building itself so we built it under ground. After a ten minute elevator ride filled with nothing but nerve wrecking silence, the elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open. On the other side was a dark corridor outlined by white lights. We followed the path which lead to a larger briefing room. As we walked through the other room, I allowed my hand to slide against the smooth mahogany table that stretched from one side to the other. I felt like this was my last time seeing this table and it was my favorite because of the sole fact that it was made of mahogany. We cut through the office and down the center of a large workspace. Workers were lined up left and right for what seemed like miles. Suddenly, a white cart  driven by a guy named Mike pulled up and slowed to motion for us to hop on.

  We rode our way down through the research facility until we hit a double bypass steel door. We disembarked at the first gate and passed the second by using our ID cards. On the other side,  there were rows of control consoles lined up in a complete circle around a large indention in the ground that seemed bottomless. As soon as we entered other workers began to flood in to man their panels. "Alright, let me explain how this is going to work", Rolland turned to me and said. " This is the 3rd mode of teleportation we got working for the most part by using your idea of using momentum and it's the only one that won't short out and explode due to the large quantities of matter and energy flow at the moment.These 3 floors have their own functions , the middle monitors any and all currents or fluctuations of energy flowing through the soon to be open portal in that hole down there that you'll be falling down in. The top section of workers will be observing your vital signs on the other side. The one we're standing in will hold up communications while your in Equestria", he explained without skipping a beat, "you got that?". "Yeah" I replied. "Where's the guy who solved that error? Ummm, Conner?", I asked looking out the window towards the other levels.

Suddenly, the door behind us opened up and out came a Caucasian man wearing a white lab coat with a "20% cooler" t-shirt under it", scraggly brown hair,a  roughly shaven face, and brown eyes. " Ummm... sup?", he said a bit awkwardly. He wore thick glasses and scratched the back of his head. "Hey there", I replied "So you're the guy who found out what we were missing?" I asked him trying to make him feel a bit more calm. He nodded and gave a nervous smile that seemed to get more relaxed as the conversation carried on. "Let's get a move on guys!" , exclaimed an impatient Isaac. He pushed us all out of the room and into the next. We soon found ourselves thrown into another section communications center. There was a large pile of stuff and a long table. I walked up to the table and found that there were many guns. " What the hell man!?" exclaimed all but Isaac.

He laughed and retorted with "given the current situation I thought that you'd need everything you could get  your hands on". Conner looked at Isaac in fear and only got a sly grin back. Isaac walked over to me with a long metallic container. "Happy Birthday", he said as he emptied the contents onto the remaining space on the table. A black hooded suit , a satchel, goggles, and boots had become newly added items to the table. The suit looked like some kind of spy would wear. There were small pockets and compartments everywhere including a handgun slot, a leg knife slot, and a slot above the lower back. Isaac handed me a long item. It wasn't a blade but it was about the length of that slot on the backside of the torso I had just described. "It's a stun rod", he explained with delight. I held it up in a reverse grip and flipped the switch on the bottom. The the room had been filled with the sound of a static charge and  a bright flashing of a white light." I placed it on the table and turned to Isaac but before I could ask him why in the hell did he get this, he gives me a card board box. "!" I gave him a questioning gaze.

" You've been playing my Metal Gear Solid game haven't you?" I asked him with a frozen face and the stun rod back in my grip. "Eeyup, apparently the only way to get through a stealth mission is a handy dandy card board box". To be honest with you, I had a good mind to shock the shit outta this guy but I considered it anyway. I took it, folded it, and slid it into the satchel. "You should get changed", suggested Rolland who pointed at a door to the left of the room. I grabbed the suit and walked inside. While putting on the suit I heard a shock come from the other side. As soon as I got out, Conner was sprawled out on the floor and Issac laughing. "What the hell just happened?" I asked rushing over to Conner but not touching him." I let him hold the stun rod.He'll be fine man, just wait about 40 minutes and he'll be back on his feet again." responded Isaac. Rolland had already called the paramedics who had Connor escorted out of the room and into the emergency ICU just outside of this part of the research facility. " He's pretty clumsy", said Rolland who sighed.  30 minutes later I had a Colt M1911 handgun on my side, a combat knife on the other, and the Stun Rod on my back as well as the overly stuffed satchel. I walked out of the room and down the hall that we came through. When I entered the room, a thunderous applause engulfed the room and killed my hearing.

As I continued walking I has soon guided by a woman with short brown hair to another smaller elevator. I entered and the doors closed behind me. I had been riding up for about 10 minutes now. When my ride to the top had finally came to a halt, I walked out only to find a large platform over the pit. My innards seemed to melt and I had a sinking feeling about this whole situation. I was excited and a bit scared at the same time. I got a few waves and thumbs up from the lab boys downstairs which made it hard not to smile. One of the ones in the corner motioned for me to put my hood on. I did just that and had my ears filled with Rolland's voice. " Bzzt, Alright good luck out there! Everything you need is in that bag from a silencer to boxers to  love letters and a way back to the facility. Once you get there you need to search through your satchel and place that homing beacon we put in there. Just hit the switch  on the side and it'll send a signal that tells us where exactly in existence you are". "Gotcha", I replied and gave a thumbs up. Soon a machine roared to life near the bottom of the pit. A bright spectrum flooded my eyes and I flipped on my goggles to keep my eyes from exploding. A deafening alarm went of along with a count down.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!!!

" ALRIGHT THE PORTAL IS READY, JUMP AND FIND US A NEW WORLD TO CALL HOME!"

Hearing this from an unrecognizable voice I dived and plunged myself into the void, my body disappearing along with the blinding light.

Next Chapter: HALT!!! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW