The Broken One

“Cindra, where’s that hot water”, Nurse Redheart shouted.

The anxious changeling rushed out of the bathroom with the handle of a steaming bucket of water clamped in her teeth. She deposited the bucket beside the bed and pranced in place out of nervousness. I used a cool cloth to wipe the sweat from Shadow’s face and neck as she winced in pain.

“Just keep breathing”, the nurse coached soothingly.

Shadow did as instructed and cringed tightly as cramps ripped through her abdomen. I held her close and kissed her forehead as I whispered encouraging words to her. She relaxed as the contractions eased off.

“You’re doing fantastic”, I smiled. “It won’t be long until our little filly will be here.”

More contractions hit her making her cry in pain. The sound of it broke my heart but I knew there was nothing I could do for her. I just held her and comforted her the best I could. Her contractions eased and she began panting.

“I can’t do this”, she gasped.

“Yes you can, baby”, I whispered before kissing her lips. “You’re a badass vampony, of course you can.”

A primal scream of agony ripped from her as her entire body clenched from the pain tearing my heart to pieces. I turned a worried eye to Nurse Redheart but she told me everything was okay. I turned back to Shadow and noticed a thin trail of blood from where she had bitten her lip. I wiped the trickle from her chin and closed my eyes.

“Breathe, mistress”, Cindra reminded her. “Just focus on your breathing.”

I reached out and ruffled her mane in appreciation then turned back to my wife. Tears poured from her eyes as she groaned in pain. I couldn’t wait for the pain to be over so that she could rest. The nurse looked at her mare parts closely and smiled.

“Not much longer now”, she smiled.

I despised her idea of “not much longer” when it turned out to be three hours. I began to panic when blood began to flow from her birth canal and demanded to know what was going on. I was informed that some bleeding during birth was normal but that did nothing to calm me nor did it do anything to alleviate Shadow’s pain.

“I can see a hoof”, the nurse announced happily. “Okay, Princess Shadow, big push!”

My wife clenched her muscles and pushed for all she was worth. She began to sob from the pain as she was told to push again. After several more pushes we heard a tiny cry. Shadow’s muscles gave out and she went limp in my arms gasping. Nurse Redheart passed the swaddled foal to Cindra and began cleaning Shadow up. As Cindra was making her way to us with our daughter I heard a concerned noise from the nurse.

“What is it”, I asked worriedly.

“Something’s wrong”, she mumbled. “There’s too much blood.”

I turned a worried gaze to Shadow and squeezed her tight before I turned back to the nurse.

“Fucking heal her then!”

“I’m not a unicorn”, she shouted with tears in her eyes.

“Fuck”, I shouted before I turned to my wife. “I’ll do it then.”

I lay my hand on her side and felt healing magic rush down my arm and into her body. After a couple minutes I turned to the nurse but she shook her head. I rested my other hand on her side and doubled the magic. I wouldn’t lose anypony else and would gladly give my own life to save Shadow. The nurse shook her head again as I heard a loud pop behind me.

“Jackson, you’ll kill yourself”, my mother shouted.

“I don’t care”, I muttered as I flooded even more magic into my spouse. “I’m not going to fucking lose Shadow too!”

“Jackson, stop”, Shadow said quietly.

“No”, I choked as tears welled up in my eyes and the magic faltered. “I can’t lose you, Shadow. I need you.”

“Aliya needs you more”, she replied and motioned for our daughter.

“Aliya”, I repeated as Cindra laid our daughter beside us.

I stared down at a gorgeous little alicorn with a grey coat just like her mother’s. Her mane was the same deep black as mine, but that was apparently the only trait she had gotten from me. I stared down at our daughter before turning my sad eyes back to Shadow.

“May I hold her”, mom asked sadly.

I held our daughter out to my mother and when she took her I turned back to a slightly pale Shadow. I kissed her gently as the tears began to slip down my cheeks. Memories we made together flashed through me as I held my fading spouse. Her breathing was getting weaker and weaker with every moment.

“Don’t cry”, she whispered. “I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

“I can’t lose you”, I repeated. “Baby I love you so much and I just can’t lose you.”

“You aren’t losing me”, she smiled through her tears. “We’ll see each other again.”

“I can’t do this without you”, I choked past the tears flowing down my cheeks.

“Of course you can”, she smiled. “You are an amazing and strong stallion. You’ll be a good father for our daughter.”

“Shadow, I love you”, I cried as I pulled her tight against my chest. “I can’t live without you!”

“Oh, my love”, she whispered weakly. “You have to go on living for the both of us, for our daughter. For Cindra.”

“Oh, mistress”, Cindra wailed and flung herself on the bed. “Please don’t leave us! PLEASE!”

“It can’t be helped”, Shadow sighed in an almost inaudible voice before looking at both of us. “Hold me, please. It’s cold.”

Cindra and I wrapped ourselves around her and just held her tightly. I felt Shadow kiss my lips before she kissed Cindra. Our tears poured down our faces as we tried to hold her to this life.

“I love you both”, Shadow whispered and smiled as her eyes closed for the last time. I felt it deep inside of me when her heart stopped and her breath slipped peacefully from her still form. Cindra sobbed uncontrollably as she held Shadow’s body tightly.

“Shadow”, I gasped as I shook her lightly. “Shadow?!”

I held my hand over her heart and forced the last bits of my magic reserves into trying to revive her but when that failed I tried to force my very life into her. A hoof on my shoulder stopped me and I looked up into the silently sobbing face of my now sole confidante. I felt something shatter inside as the reality of the situation settled into my heart.

“Shadow”, I sobbed as I curled around her lifeless body. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you.”

I felt a hoof on my back and pulled a sobbing Cindra into my chest.

“She’s gone”, Cindra whimpered. “She’s gone. She’s gone.”

I slid out from under my wife’s body and stepped out to the balcony. I stared into the sky before falling to my knees. My heart was destroyed and I couldn’t hold it in. I let out a scream of pure rage and sorrow as my power shot from my eyes and mouth into the sky. My cries shook the very earth and shattered every window in the castle.

“GOD DAMN IT”, I roared as I slammed my fists into the floor beneath me sending cracks spreading out from the point of impact. “WHY THE FUCK DID SHE HAVE TO DIE?! TAKE ME INSTEAD!”

“Jackson”, my mother gasped.

My numb body rose into the air as my body began to glow. Memories of my time with Shadow played through my mind at the speed of light. The first time we met. Our first kiss. Our first time together. Our wedding day. Her standing over me shouting at me.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME” I screamed to the stars above.

A burst of magic flew outward from my body bathing everything in a golden ambience as I fell back to my knees. My mother stared at me in shock as Cindra cowered in the doorway. My mother approached me but when I turned to her the first thing I saw was the cause of Shadow’s death.

“GET THAT INFERNAL CREATURE AWAY FROM ME!”

“Jackson”, Cindra gasped. “What has gotten into you? That’s your daughter!”

“SHE KILLED SHADOW”, I boomed.

“She is innocent”, Cindra shouted. “She fucking needs us both!”

“Jackson”, my mom sighed, “I know how you-“

“NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T”, I shouted as I leapt to my feet.

Before I knew what happened my mother had used her actual hoof to slap me, knocking me to the ground. I looked up to see her standing over me.

“DO YOU THINK I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH DESPAIR”, she shouted in her Voice. “I, WHO BURIED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE ORIGINAL ALICORNS OTHER THAN LUNA? I, WHO HAVE LOST EVERYPONY I CARED ABOUT? I, WHO HAD TO BANISH MY OWN SISTER FOR A THOUSAND YEARS? HOW DARE YOU?”

I got to my feet and spit blood out on the floor.

“YOUR LOSS IS MINE AS WELL! YOUR HEARTACHE IS DESTROYING ME BUT I CAN DO NOTHING TO EASE YOUR PAIN!”

“I can do something about it”, I said quietly.

I summoned my sword into my hand and turned the blade toward my chest. Before I could make another move Cindra wrapped herself around my chest. She trembled as she held on to me.

“Kill me too, Jackson”, she whimpered. “I can’t lose you both.”

I dropped my sword and sank to my knees sobbing into Cindra’s shoulder. I had no words. I had no thoughts. There was nothing but the sorrow. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my changeling. The clopping noise of hooves drew my attention to the doorway and to my surprise it was Queen Chrysalis that spoke from the doorway.

“Well, fuck.”