For the Record

They could have easily taken a flight, and gotten to Canterlot in way better time. However, they had the days off and they had the nerve to do it, so they took Death Metal’s car. The white mare with the raven black mane was the driver. She sat up front with her hands firm on the wheel. Every once in a while she would turn up and down the air conditioner, but the whole time, she sat in silence, staring forward with her sunglasses on. The black hot rod she drove was hand picked by herself to be her primary means of transportation. The outside was black but the insides were beige. She was excited, but even her normal lack of emotion was stunted further by what was going on with her new bride. It was a hard time, even for the richest pony outside of royalty.

“What is the biggest romantic fail you’ve ever had in your life?” Jet Stream read from a magazine she had in her lap. The white and blue maned pegasus sat in the back with another pegasus pony, in fact, with Letty and Night Moon filling out the crowd, there was only Death Metal who didn’t have wings. More than once, when Quick Bullet’s yellow wing tapped her, she would apologize to Death. However, after about the eighth one, the earth pony snapped.

“Ey, get your wings under control.” Death Metal wasn’t loud but it was stern, shaking Letty a bit.

“I’m sorry.” Letty said very quickly as she looked out the window. There was a long pause between the four of them. The earth pony driving now had a permanent, deep frown on her face. Her brows were slanted downward between her eyes and her sunglasses were sliding down her snout as a result.

“No,” Death said as her shoulders finally relaxed and she sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a really rough week.”

“Oh.” Letty looked back at her, then back out the window beside her as the sun was right over head in the middle of a sunny day. The highway was ever long and ever winding and soon Death Metal calmed down.

“Well, I’d say the biggest romantic fail I’ve ever had… I may have cum directly into Star Burst’s hair. Like, I got part of her ear and all of her bangs.” Night Moon looked off to the side, blushing.

Every eye in the car locked onto him as best they could, Death still had to drive, afterall. Then all three of them broke out into a jumbled talking and yelling mess. All of them were disgusted, asking him how he could have done such a thing and how he could sleep at night, knowing what he did to his girlfriend’s poor hair.

“Look, she looked downward to cough! It’s not like I could stop myself! Have you ever started cumming and attempted to cease immediately? A guy can’t help himself! She had me on a razor’s edge!” Night Moon pleaded with them, and noticed that he was getting to them when they all stopped talking. There was silence. “Look, I told you guys, we didn’t break up. We were just happier being friends. We were still banging up until I moved out, and we even had a sudden booty call a few nights ago.”

“Wow, I wish I could stay that kind of friends with my exes.” Jet said as she read an article on her phone. “So, you got any other girls you want to get with?”

“One or two.” Night Moon said. The sudden image of Vertigo came to mind. That pegasus chick was more than willing to oblige him every time he called, and he loved to see her name on his phone. “Still, I’ll just hang back for a while, concentrate on work now that I have a new place all my own.”

“Yeah, you still doing PR for Two Lost Ponies?” Jet asked as she grinned at Night Moon, who nodded. “Sure was nice of them to pay for your ticket.”

“It’s good to have connections, I’ll admit.” Moon said as he started reading Jet’s magazine along with her. “Hard to believe I’m going to see Skullhoof again. I can barely get out to see them anymore because their Ranchtown visits are very few and far in between.”

“I’m just happy to be doing anything.” Letty said as she caught her wing going near Death Metal, who didn’t react. “Fable babysits so I can get out of the house, but my motherly instincts don’t let me go far. He keeps telling me to go do something for longer, I just can’t. Maybe if I’m a thousand miles away, I won’t get my hormones in a jumble.”

“Then why does Jet have your phone?” Death finally spoke, and all of them looked at a blushing Letty. “If I remember, you’ve already snuck five texts before she took it away.”

“I have problems!” Letty admitted in a loud tone, causing all of them to struggle with holding in their laughter. “I trust that Fable has everything under control.”

The red pegasus pony was played out cockeyed across the couch in the middle of their new living room. The apartment was full of wonderful memories for Fable, but it was time to look at the big picture. This place was a five bedroom with three bathrooms. They figured it was enough for any sized family they were going to have. The last thing they wanted was to contribute too much to the overpopulation. It was a bigger house, but it was not overly big. It was comfortable, and the yard was pretty big, but it was only three fourths of an acre overall. It was a beautiful house with very dark orange bricks lining the front along with white panelling just under the roof. Plenty of windows, plenty of space to run around.

Becoming a popular writer helped a lot. Fable was able to write full time while Letty worked with different comic and card companies who paid for her services. Ever since her pregnancy ended in a bundle of joy, she had seldom not been drawing or painting something. She worked harder the more she didn’t have to. That also included the aforementioned joyous bundle.

The orange, winged baby slept on his back on his father’s chest and abs. He wore a purple onesie and his diaper was getting rather full. He breathed almost in sync with his napping dad while the TV blared some kid’s show that Ember Wing very seldom watched. Normally, everything on the television was ignored unless there was some sort of music. Ember loved music, so they played a lot of sing-along videos for him. He was three months old and barely even crawling, but his big purple eyes were wide open now, and he was playing with the red fur he was laying against.

As he pinched the fur and pulled at it, Fable stirred and grumbled. That was until Ember started kicking his hoof against Fable’s lower stomach. As soon as the hoof connected to the hard shaft of his penis, his eyes went wide and he twitched all over. He shouted and his legs went straight up as his pelvis had a hollow pain that raged through it.

“Son of a biscuit eater!” He coughed and put his hand on a whining Ember Wing. He rolled over and sat up on the couch. He placed the foal on the center cushion of the couch and growled at his frustratingly pulsing crotch. Ember was still caught in a trance, as the kid’s show that was still on started with the Fluffy Pony Merry Song, which was pretty much a remix of the theme song. The theme song had been the same in all three generations of the Fluffy Pony Show. They owned all three original movies, plus the two reboot movies, along with the first season of the second gen show. Fable loved the first gen show as a colt, but as an adult, he found he could tolerate the second and third ones a lot better.

He looked up at the clock, and his eyes went wide. “Three o’clock?!” He shouted, as the short hand was on the three while the long hand was on the one. Telling him that it was technically three o’five at that moment would probably end up in a very sour look. Fable went to the side table and saw that it had, in fact, not gone off. Page Turner was supposed to call him to go see the new Dragon Helm II movie, the long awaited sequel to the hit movie of the mid 2000’s. After a long branch of production hell, and switching three studios and five directors, it was finally done and the matinee was today at three thirty.

Fable pressed one button and put the phone to his ear. As the phone began to ring, the front door knocked. He remembered suddenly that Voltage was only very slightly late, like she claimed she would be.

“Hello?” Fable finally heard.

“Page! Dude, where are you?” He said as he opened the door and waved to Voltage, who already had a whole bag full of things for her and the baby to do. She waved back, seeing he was on the phone. He motioned for her to come inside and she did, closing the door behind her. “Hay Street Mixer? The hell? Why are you at a nightclub at three ten in the afternoon?”

Voltage gave him a very strange look and the red pegasus shrugged, his wings slightly flapping, making her laugh a little, covering her mouth. As they made it to the living room, she could only get a big grin on her face as the little tike was getting closer and closer to the edge of the couch, trying his best to scoot his way off, while also flapping his tiny orange wings.

“Heeeeyyyyy Emby!” Voltage smiled big and grabbed him, giving him a big kiss on the cheek, making him laugh out loud.

Fable gave a huge sigh, one that could possibly be heard over the phone. “Look, I get that you need to follow your dick once in a while, and yes, I get that they’re as big as your head! But no, I’m kind of glad I didn’t buy that damn ticket beforehand now. You conquer her dungeon with your dragon, but remember who got you that damn bonus when I did my book signing at your establishment! I tend to remember things like this for a while! I don’t hold grudges but I know the sting of the back burner all too well! No, no, no, you go get your freak on with the gamer chick and you call me in a month and tell me if it was worth it!”

He pressed the button on his phone and flipped it onto the couch cushion near Voltage, who sat beside him with Ember Wing in her lap.

“So, I guess everything is going to plan and you’re going to enjoy a wonderful sequel?” Voltage asked as she tickled Ember on and off, making him laugh as if he just got a confusing joke.

“Oh, yeah, he even invited the royal family. We’re going buck balling afterward.” Fable’s sour demeanor didn’t soften. “So, I suppose, if you had nothing else to do, you could either do whatever it is you wanted while I just stay here--”

“No.” Voltage said as she booped Ember’s nose, making him cover it with closed eyes.

“Or, you can stay here and we can try and come up with some kind of game plan, since my significant other is obviously not going to be coming back tonight and that means my Neptune Classic is just ripe and ready for--”

“Me to absolutely own your ass in every game ever made. Isn’t that right, Ember?” Voltage asked the baby, who continued to laugh as she nuzzled him.

“Traitorous little wretch.” Fable mumbled, making Voltage laugh. Ember grabbed her horn and gripped it, making her lean her head downward a little bit with a sudden giggle.

“Ember--” Fable was about to stop him, but Voltage waved him off with a smile. That was when she made a little tiny burst of light come from her horn, making the little colt laugh big time in surprise. Voltage gasped and laughed at him. “Man, stop enjoying this so much…”

“Hey, I don’t lose any sleep from this little guy.” She admitted. “And Auntie Volt can just have all the cute time while Daddy and Mommy get to stay up all night.” The sweet voice she used to say this only made Fable’s ugly look intensify as she spoke.

“You’re not leaving this house.” Fable whispered in a threatening tone.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind staying. This house is really nice, did you really unpack everything already?” Voltage said, looking around the large living room. It looked complete in its furnishings and quite honestly, the simple decorations only added to its homely atmosphere.

“No, we still have some, they’re just in the other rooms, the living room pretty much took care of itself.” Fable said as she started digging out her games from her little bag. “Alright, good, so you have been getting new Neptune games. And a two player, no less?” He asked as he pulled up one of the cartridges, recognizing it from some internet videos. “Where did you find a copy of Blue vs Yellow?”

“Oh, don’t get me started, that game took me weeks to track down for anything less than 300 bits. I finally talked a guy down to 200.” Voltage rightfully felt quite proud of herself. This was a feat even Fable couldn’t muster, with all of his knowledge of the internet trade world.

“Yeah, this is one of those games I played a lot as a teenager, and I got pretty damn good at it. I played it against my brother a lot.” He held it up toward her and wiggled it between his fingers. “Single player or multiplayer, I know I can at least give you a nice run for your money on this little gem.”

“Oh! What a wonderful challenge, dear Fable.” Voltage grinned and got face to face with him. He was taken a bit by surprise, but he gladly returned the grin. “And what will be the wager on such a confrontation, my winged friend?”

“I figured we could figure that out when the time was right, what do you think?” Fable’s eyes only darkened as he spoke. Her eyes replied in kind.

“Splendid, just how I like it.” As she whispered this, she pressed her snout more onto his, making his nose scrunch up and his eyes widen as he was taken aback. “Open ended.” She cackled and then gave him a quick kiss.

She returned to her normal self and started bouncing Ember in her arms as Fable blinked at her. Voltage carried on as if nothing happened, even dancing with the baby as he clung to her with his head against her upper chest.

That’s when Fable started back to looking in her bag. He happened upon a movie that made his eyebrows furrow. He held up the case and made her he was reading it right. Voltage tried to grab it, but he held it away from her. “What’s this?”

“That’s--” Voltage’s face deepened red.

“You’ve never had this before, have you?” He held the movie case toward her “Strawberry and Chocolate’s Magical Voyage, wasn’t this that old 80’s cartoon that had one good season, then got cancelled despite its--”

“Cult following, yes…” Voltage looked away with her face flushed. There were lot’s of good kid shows. Fluffy Pony is what you watched when you were nostalgic. Strawberry and Chocolate is what you watched when you were just crazy or extremely inebriated. “I wanted to show Ember Wing!”

“Uh huh.” Fable said, and opened the case.

Shrapnel was always nervous when it came to the whole scene. On the outside, she seemed composed, cool, and a bit coo coo to some. On the inside, she was a roaring, raging fiery volcano about to erupt and destroy whatever unsuspecting island that it was on. It would either have to be an uninhabited island, or the island would need a good support response system in place for escape. The explosion would be massive! Fire, smoke, mushroom clouds, bursts of volcanic rock destroying the surface while an entire lava storm reduced every inch of it to smolders and plantlife death (not pony death because that would be gratuitous) but they would look back to see their home completely decimated and destruction reigns supreme all over their entire world!

“Man, I’m hungry,” Shrap said to herself at first, then looked at her other bandmates her were trying to get their gear on, and tune their instruments. “Is anyone else hungry? There’s a Wheatery nearby. Canterlot has some huge restaurants.”

“Ugh, how can you think about eating?” Grave said as he kept looking over their song regimine, and deciding if he picked the right songs from the right albums. By albums, he meant one album and several singles on several demo discs. That was the great thing about concerts, you could choose the best songs from your album and scatter them around other songs you want people to hear. However, this wasn’t just any garage or bar gig, this was an actual concert with actual merchandise and money changing hand. They were already getting paid three times more than their normal gig (Pearl and Death wedding was on par with the pay they were getting here) and that just made them more and more nervous. At the wedding, they knew what they were doing. They were shocking and awing a bunch of rich folk.

Here, in the face of Skullhoof, this was it. They were being judged by their peers and superiors.

“Wait, do you think they know that two of us actually prefer Killproof a little more?” Gristle said but this drew a whole bunch of very disdainful looks. He waved at them and then went back to spinning his drumsticks in his fingers. The bat pony decided changing the subject might be the best option. “So, we’re doing all of EP?”

“I was thinking at least Mental Mutilation, but we gotta do Bestial Compulsions. I mean, we have one demo disc and one actual album, obviously, we may want to think main stream with this crowd, so Sowing the Seeds of Devastation is third.” Shrapnel said as she pulled a bag from her messed up bed sheets and started to prepare something on a flat surface. “Only Bones remain should at least make a preview.”

“Exactly,” Grave Rush said as he was writing all of this down. “We did say Only Bones Remain would show up here. Amputate should be out at the end of the year, so this will be some good buzz until then. Right, Tremor?”

The green furred, brown bearded bassist gave Grave an odd look before he went back to checking the internet for nearby food places so he could order something online. He snapped for all of them and showed them the place he chose to eat.

“Spoolony? The hell is that?” Shrapnel asked as she read the descriptions of the food on their menu. “Oh, so pasta. Okay, in that case I’ll go alfredo.” She said as she went back to her plate with her little sheet of paper and small leafs of a plant. “Get me breadsticks.”

“Ravioli, beef with marinara.” Grave said as he was finishing up the song list. “Alright, that’s it, we got five songs and then Skullhoof comes by and follows us up to much more applause, they win, we lose. The end.”

“There’s that negative vibe again.” Shrapnel said as she rolled her eyes. Then she looked at Gristle. “What do you want, Griss?”

“Lasagna, no wheat balls.” He said as he put his drumsticks on the bed and got up, but as he was about to walk to the bathroom, the door knocked and opened.

“Did someone say no wheat balls?!” Letty asked as she walked in with Death Metal. “I’m sorry, who is ordering pasta with no wheat balls?!”

Gristle suddenly slid off the side of the bed to hide behind it. “Did she see me?” He said as he poked his head back up and saw a lovely white pegasus with blue and white hair. The one following her was the one that caught his eye, though.

“Night Moon!” Gristle said as he flipped over the bed and rolled onto the floor to end up directly in front of the very dark purplish blue pegasus. They embraced. “Hey, broseph!”

“Blast Beat! My oh, my, did you get more red, or are you just sunburned?” He said as he ran his hand over Gristle’s burgundy fur, then ruffled his grayish silver mane.

“It’s Gristle, remember, MixiMoon? Keeping up appearances.” He rolled his eyes as he accepted a kiss on the forehead from the pegasus.

“Death!” Grave said as he opened his arms and looked at her, frowning some. “Death? What’s wrong, hon?” He said as he embraced her and she simply leaned on his chest, being a good bit shorter than him.

“It’s been a rough month.” Death Metal whispered to him and they pecked lips. “I’ll be fine. I wanted to introduce you to my friends.” She motioned over toward the two lovely pegasus mares. “This is Quick Bullet, call her Letty. This is Jet Stream.”

“Call me Jet.” The journalist purred as she took his hand before the yellow pegasus could. Letty didn’t let that go unnoticed as she gave her a sour look from the side. “I’d love to do an interview, if you had the time after the concert.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s enough.” Death said as she butted into their conversation. “I heard there’s food being ordered. I got twenty bits on it.” She held up a small sack of coins.

“Yeah, actually, I could go for two cannolis and something drenched in garlic.” Letty said as she sat near the large, green pegasus sitting on the bed, typing down all of the orders without a word. She waved to him, and he took a moment to nod toward her before going back to typing. She couldn’t help but admire his very large patterns of tattoos all over his chest and over his shoulders and upper arms. He wore a leather jacket with no shirt, and his muscles were buried in a thin layer of fat. He was thick enough to do pro wrestling, though.

“So, Night, I heard you were pretty hot in the Ranchtown scene. You still in the underground?” Shrapnel asked him as he sat beside her. The neon blue mare with the pierced lower lip smiled a bit as she finished up what was one of the most beautiful homemade smoking devices this side of Canterlot. “Cuz I found some Canterlot Green Day in the underground. Would you care to join me?”

“Oh, this is a situation that only we can resolve.” Night Moon said, looking at the rest of them mingle throughout the room. After surveying that no one was even looking at them anymore, the two of them snuck off into the bathroom and turned on the vent.

“Okay, so you creeps still got four hours to be there, six hours until you’re on stage, thrashing your garbage music to a bunch of slobs.” Death Metal said as she lit a cigarette and put away her flip-lid black metal lighter with the green heart on it. “Sound about right?”

“That’s a… wonderful way to put it, Death.” Grave said as he sat on the floor, cross-legged as everyone else was taking up the bed space. Then he noticed that two bodies were now missing from the bed. He shrugged it off, though.

“Yeah, I thought you liked this music?” Letty gave a small, nervous chuckle.

“I do.” Death Metal said, “For Grindhoof, it’s garbage, but for my namesake, it ain’t bad.”

“You do know you’re not supposed to smoke in here, right?” Jet asked as she was recording this whole conversation. She knew she would have to edit it later, but as a journalist, it was time for some good old fashioned writing. The real gritty kind that normally people didn’t get to see. Like Gonzo Duke once said, “The truest image is the image that people don’t want to see. But once they see it, the tendency to stare was hard to ignore.” Jet was going to get this okayed with the band’s producers and the band themselves, but the exposure was going to be paramount.

“Ummm, guys?” Gristle asked, drawing silence, even making Tremor look up from his computer. “Does that smoke smell weird to you?”

That was when the rest of them seemed to notice the smell. There came a loud clattering cough from the bathroom. There was a continuous cough as they heard Shrapnel start to giggle.

“Dude, hold your hay.” She whispered loud enough for them to hear her through the door.