It Turns Out They're Windmills

Chapters

Icky
She's an Angel
Dig My Grave
Where Your Eyes Don't Go
Drink!
Oh You Did
I Left My Body
Mammal
Particle Man
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
I Love You for Psychological Reasons
Older
Damn Good Times
Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Why Did You Grow a Beard?
Why Does the Sun Really Shine?

Icky

Sunset chewed the end of her pencil in contemplation and leaned back against the park bench. It was a strangely big deal to call someone 'the worst,' and it felt familiar in an itchy, uncomfortable way. Her old self had been about ego and pride, but it had also been about paranoia. She'd had just a blanket assumption that ponies and people were bad, broken, and nasty. It made them easy to hurt.

Luckily, Twilight had written that she was going to be gone most of the day, so she had time to add to the entry and explain. She decided to just follow her feelings and trust Twilight would understand she wasn't being cruel for its own sake. She began to write:

His name is Weeping Willow. They met from volunteering at the local animal shelter. She'd mentioned him a couple of times before, just to say he was quiet and helpful, and he seemed to enjoy working with her. We were all surprised when she said he asked her out and she accepted, but I didn't feel like anything was wrong. But when I met him I changed my mind. We tried to be nice to him, we tried really, really hard. But...

She paused in thought again. Thinking about this made her less concerned with being unfair and more concerned that she would rant so long that Princess Twilight would get bored. She took a deep breath to try to calm down.

"Magic glowing book, huh?" a nasally voice behind her barked.

Sunset jumped in surprise and whirled around, clutching the journal to her chest. There before her, mouse-brown hair frizzing above his round glasses, hands accusingly on his hips, oily, beige face contorted into a sneer, was Weeping Willow himself.

She frantically looked from side to side, terrified he had seen what she was writing. She forced her face into a warm smile, hoping it did not come off too unctuous. "Weeping!" she said warmly. "Wow, hey, you surprised me, there. How's it going?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm coming home from my job. You know, the thing I need to do because I'm not a superhero pop singer movie star with a bunch of magic glowy stuff I can keep all to myself."

Sunset's smile became extremely unctuous, because it was all she could think to do to keep it from becoming a grimace. "Well," she said, "jobs can be annoying, yeah."

"What would you know about it?" Weeping Willow grunted. "Look at you. Boys probably just give you stuff all the time for free. Some of us can't live that way."

Sunset snapped the pencil she was holding in her hand. Her unctuous smile became a full-fledged grimace. "Listen..."

"Oh well, you're not going to be pretty forever, you know. Once that stops, you'll see what I mean."

Sunset threw the journal on the ground, gearing up to unleash her anger, but then she remembered: Fluttershy had made it very clear that they were not to fight with Weeping Willow, or she would stare at them. (Sunset was acutely aware of how stupid that sounded even in her own head, but she had also literally never been intimidated by anything more than she was by that look Fluttershy got in her eyes sometimes.) She forced her rage back down into herself, closed her eyes, and counted slowly to five.

When she opened her eyes, Weeping was kneeling over the magic journal, poking at it disdainfully. "Stupid magic stuff," he muttered. He looked up at her with contempt. "You're not cool just because you have magic stuff, y'know."

"Oh!" a voice called. "Oh my goodness!"

Sunset looked and saw Fluttershy running up to them in a panic. "Oh no," she was saying. "No no, you two should not be..." She reached them and seemed to calm herself slightly. "Um, I mean, hi. Sunset, I didn't expect to see you." She positioned herself between them. "Um, but we have to go? On a date? Right, Weeping? We should go."

Weeping Willow casually stood, turned, and walked off, mumbling something.

Fluttershy's face was stricken with something close to terror. She stared up at Sunset with big, wet eyes. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I hope he didn't... I mean, I didn't know you'd both be here at the same time."

Sunset felt like her heart was experiencing an eclipse. She gently reached out to place an empathizing hand on Fluttershy's arm.

Fluttershy jumped away like a fox evading a spring-loaded trap. She landed a few feet away, softly rubbing the place Sunset would have touched, looking back in sorrow.

"Hey!" Weeping called. "I thought we were leaving?"

"I'm coming!" Fluttershy called. With an empathetic glance back to Sunset, she scampered off.

Sunset stood alone for a few moments, trying to determine exactly how tightly she could clench her fist. Eventually, she walked over to where the front half of her pencil lay on the sidewalk. She went to the journal, opened it to where she had stopped, and she simply wrote:

He's just the worst.

Fluttershy thought about otters.

Cuteness wasn't a contest. There were cute things about practically every animal, if you looked closely enough, and the very idea of ranking all those sweet creatures was unnatural and wrong.

But if there WAS a contest, otters would win. Chittering and playing and floating around while holding hands...

She thought about otters because that was the best way she had learned to maintain a positive demeanor when Weeping Willow was talking.

"...I'm sorry, it's a very intellectual show," he was saying, as he tilted his chin upward, eyes half-lidded. "Some people just aren't smart enough to really get it. It's not about feelings, it's about the mind. But he just kept going with his irrational ad hominems, and I..."

Fluttershy smiled blankly. Otters sometimes liked to swim in tight little circles for no reason.

She was very good at thinking about things, which made her also very good at not thinking about things. That didn't make sense, but in practice it worked out very well. Like when Twilight was trying to learn how to hypnotize people, and when Fluttershy volunteered, she spent the entire time intensely aware of all the crowded mess of things she was thinking, so she barely even listened to what Twilight was saying. But then Twilight had snapped her fingers, and Fluttershy did whatever the silly thing was she was supposed to do, without even knowing it.

She made sure to never let Twilight try to hypnotize her again. She remembered being alone in that room with Twilight, how her voice was uncharacteristically soothing and lilting as she read out of that book.

Fluttershy almost thought about one of those things she absolutely never thought about, which meant it was time to pay attention to Weeping Willow again.

"...so they ban me, just for some trash talk! Come on, it's satire! If you can't take it, you shouldn't be playing the game. Hey, are you still having that problem with your rabbit?"

Fluttershy was not certain what problem he was referring to; Angel was fine. But she just smiled placidly and nodded.

"That's tough," he said, eyes fixed slightly above her gaze. "The thing about rabbits you might not know is, they're not rodents. They're lagomorphs."

"Oh," Fluttershy said.

"Not everyone knows that, so it's okay that you didn't. See, lagomorphs have longer..."

Fluttershy decided it was time to think about otters some more. An image popped into her head of a hypnotist otter, wearing a little top hat and waistcoat. That was nice. That made things okay for a little bit.

"Okay," the hip-looking stallion announced, "next question in the Caneighdian Celebrities round: What musical instrument is jazz legend Sesame Seeds famous for playing?"

"Ugh!" Moon Dancer rolled her eyes. "It's the drums. This is just insultingly easy." She scribbed down the answer with irritation.

Lyra sipped her ale and smiled awkwardly at the rest of the table. "So, uhh... you know we don't have to come here every week."

Bon Bon regarded her with hooded eyes. "What are you talking about? You're the one that likes trivia so much."

"Yeah, but..." Lyra waved her hooves around unhelpfully. "With Moon Dancer on the team, don't you think trivia gets kind of.... boring?"

Bon Bon squinted. "If you're asking me if I think winning is boring, the answer is no, I definitely do not."

Lyra poked a hoof at Fluttershy. "What about you? Come on, I know you love how Moon Dancer is smarter than everypony, but don't you wish you could contribute some?"

"She did contribute!" Bon Bon argued. "Fluttershy and I came up with the team name."

Lyra stared at her flatly. "You guys called us 'Bon Bon's Bunny Brigade.'"

"I just like the double-date idea," Fluttershy cut in sweetly, trying to head off a potential quarrel. "I don't care much what we do. This is fun!"

"Ag!" Moon Dancer burst out, apparently responding to another question the others had not paid attention to. "It's Whinniepeg! Come on, everypony knows that."

Lyra sighed. "Okay, okay. Hey Fluttershy, what were you saying about... some kind of alien version of yourself?"

"Oh. Yes." Fluttershy sighed. "I don't really understand it, but there's a... monkey dimension, and monkey versions of everypony in Ponyville."

Bon Bon gave her an unnervingly serious look. "Humans. They're typically friendly, but if they tried a large-scale invasion, they..." She trailed off at Lyra's awkward glance and Fluttershy's bewilderment. "Uh, I mean... Whinniepeg!" She slammed a hoof down on the table in indignation. "Right! So easy!"

"Um..." Fluttershy blinked and decided she was best off not thinking about it. "Anyway, Twilight has met that version of me, and yesterday she found out that she's actually dating a boy-monkey. Um. Stallion-human. I'm not sure what they call it."

"Gragh, it's like he thinks we haven't read a book in our lives; it's Raspberry Tarts!" Moon Dancer growled, flailing her hooves in a manner her tablemates had ceased even registering.

"Huh," Lyra said, thoughtfully sipping her ale. "And... uh, sorry to be so blunt, here, but I assume this boy-stallion dating is not something that pegasus Fluttershy would ever want to do?"

"I... really don't think so," Fluttershy replied, cringing a bit. "I've never tried, but..."

"Say no more," Bon Bon said, scratching her chin. "So this means either you're different... or human Fluttershy is not making very good choices for herself."

Fluttershy nodded. "It feels silly to worry about her, since we've never even met. But I just imagine myself in that situation and I feel so trapped." She blushed slightly. "Also, I've seen pictures of humans, and they're so adorable. They have these big heads and tiny little necks."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Fluttershy replied. "Twilight has a good friend living over there, and she said she'd try talking to me. Uh, her."

Lyra glanced over at Moon Dancer, who was glaring grouchily at her microbrew. "Uh, you okay there, Moon? Did the round get better?"

"Round's over," Moon Dancer grunted. "I already turned our answer parchment in." She crossed her hooves over her chest and pouted in indignation. "Do you believe it? Ten questions about Caneighdian celebrities, and not a single one about the National Theater. Not a single one about the Bison Rennaissance! There was a question about the cast of the Starpress Revue, but it was about Raspberry Tarts, the most obvious one!"

"Uh huh," Lyra said, very used to this sort of rant.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I like this host; I've seen him at the indie movie theater at Canterlot, and he's always nice," Moon Dancer continued sourly. "But have you noticed, every question he ever asks is about ponies? Nothing about bison or griffons or dragons or donkeys or anything. I don't think he even knows how restricted his knowledge base is. I wrote him a little note about it on our answer parchment before I turned it in." (Fluttershy looked over and noted that the triviamaster was indeed glancing over at them with an unreadable frown.)

"Hey!" Lyra said brightly, clearly trying to head off a spiral, "what do you think of the whole human Fluttershy thing?"

"Oh, right, that," Moon Dancer mumbled. She sipped her beer and frowned. "Fluttershy dating a boy. Super gross." Her expression softened slightly. "But she's still in school, right? Still living at home? And she's basically still just a filly?" She sighed. "I guess I get what she's probably going through."

"Yeah," Bon Bon said. "So do I."

"Me too," Lyra agreed, leaning softly against her 'best friend.'

They all sat in silence for a moment.

Fluttershy stuck out her tongue. "Bleh. But it is kind of gross."

"Okay," the hip-looking stallion announced, "we have an official winner for the Caneighdian Celebrities round, and once again, with a perfect score: Bon Bon's Bunny Brigade."

As the ponies at the other tables weakly applauded, Lyra pumped her hooves in victory. "Yeah, the four Bs!" she cheered, then paused. "Wait, that doesn't sound good."

Moon Dancer was not going to let a little thing like being poked repeatedly in the arm stop her from concentrating. But when Minuette started talking, accenting each syllable with a poke, it became harder to take.

"Moon. Dan. Cer. I'm. Bored. Hey. Hey. Look. Hey."

Moon Dancer tried to refocus. Her interest in the development of modern architecture was not going to be swayed. She refocused on the paragraph on spires.

Minuette ran out of things to say, but she did not stop talking or poking. She just started saying "Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke." That, somehow, increased the annoyance factor considerably.

"Please," Moon Dancer said, keeping her calm as best as she could. "I'm reading about spires."

"Spire. Spire. Spire. Spire."

As Minuette surely knew, the back-breaking straw was refusing to take knowledge seriously. Moon Dancer closed the book and stared her friend in the eyes. "Hey! Listen, this is exactly the same era we're learning about in AP history!"

"Gaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhh."

"No, it's really interesting! You get to see how technological advances and cultural changes were influenced by historical..."

"Aaaaaaghghguuughhh. Moon Dancer, you promised that if we hung out, you wouldn't do any studying."

Moon Dancer crossed her arms over her chest. "That doesn't sound like me."

"Oh fiiiine." Minuette dramatically flung herself sideways in defeat. "You said you wouldn't study much. And you have crossed the much boundary."

Moon Dancer sighed, but she could not deny that her friend's antics were endearing. "Well, I'm just trying to distract myself from this awful coffee." She jostled her cup with disdain. "I don't know why you wanted to go to this corporate chain place, anyway. The Sylvan Glen is just a few blocks away. They have better music, and their coffee is way better."

Minuette rolled her eyes. "You and Lemon Hearts are both such hipsters."

"What? No, we're not!"

"Oh, yeah you are." Minuette had a sly look in her eye, suggesting the massive amounts of sugar in the horrible foamy monstrosity she was drinking were beginning to affect her. "You're both all about, 'Oh, let's go to the Sylvan Glen, there's a theremin symphony playing tonight.'"

"That band only had one theremin player, and..." Moon Dancer suddenly trailed off. Behind Minuette, across the cafe, she could see a boy and girl waiting in line to order. The boy was scowling smugly, with glasses and frizzy, brown curls. The girl was absolutely gorgeous, with flowing, hippy-dippy clothes and long, pink hair.

Moon Dancer was momentarily frozen, her mouth hanging open, but suddenly, she regained her senses. In a panic, she grabbed her architecture book, opened it and held it up in front of her face. "Sh!" she hissed. "Don't look. Don't move."

Minuette probably looked pretty confused, but Moon Dancer could only see the inside of the book. "What?"

Moon Dancer slowly peeked over the edge of the book. Minuette actually seemed to be taking things in stride, just raising an eyebrow at her. But behind her, the boy reached the counter and scanned the menu in a comfortably self-satisfied way. The girl clasped her arms behind her back daintily.

"Don't look," Moon Dancer hissed. "Behind you. Stay perfectly still."

Minuette complied, though she began to look pretty impatient. "What's the deal?" Moon Dancer did not reply; she just sat there with her mouth open. Minuette sighed. "Okay, I'm just gonna look."

"No!" Moon Dancer whispered. "It's... it's Weeping Willow."

Minuette froze. "Has he seen us?"

"No. He's with a girl. She's super-cute, actually."

Minuette blinked in obvious surprise. "Huh. Um, have you talked to him at all since..."

"No. And I don't really want to."

"Yeah. Me neither."

Moon Dancer watched as Weeping and his bizarrely attractive date received their drinks. To her relief, they sat at the opposite side of the cafe. To her distress, they sat right next to the exit. "So, bad news," she said. "I think we're kind of trapped here for a while." She looked up hopefully. "Wanna talk about spires?"

Minuette rested her chin in her hands and rolled her eyes. "Fiiiiine. Ugh, what a terrible choice: unnecessary AP history learning, or having to have the most awkward conversation in the world with Weeping Willow." She sighed. "It's almost enough to make me wish he had shown up to that dumb party you threw."

Author's Note

He's coming over to your house and isn't gonna leave till you loan him something.

She's an Angel

Twilight giggled in that dreadfully dorky way that seemed to come upon her when she spent time with Moon Dancer. She used three of her feet to walk and used the fourth to rub her chin in thought. "So, it's a process, it's older than Nightmare Moon. It DOES have to do with nature..."

"Usually," Moon Dancer clarified.

"Usually has to do with nature. But it's social, it's not magic, and it's harmful. Right?"

"That's what you have so far," Moon Dancer said. She glanced at her friend slyly. "Want a hint?"

"No!" Twilight yelled, aghast. "I'll get it!" She furrowed her whole face in thought. "Is it an action performed by sentient beings?"

"Yes."

"Hm, but it's bad. Is it something ponies do by accident?"

"No. Well... the outcome is accidental. The action is deliberate."

Twilight thought to guess again, but she was interrupted by a call from above. She looked to see a familiar, cerulean form waving, then darting down towards the ground.

"Hi, Rainbow," she said, noting that Moon Dancer smiled genuinely and waved.

Rainbow Dash grinned at them. "Hey, girls, what's up?"

"Moon Dancer was showing me some plants she's studying in the Everfree," Twilight answered. "While we were walking back, we were playing twenty questions."

"Our games of twenty questions are pretty hardcore," Moon Dancer added, smirking.

Rainbow Dash blinked at this, then she just sighed and shook her head.

"We only have two rules," Moon Dancer clarified. "Twilight can't ask about any obscure magical theory..."

"...And Moon Dancer can't ask about any of those weird, artsy musicians or filmmakers she likes," Twilight finished.

Rainbow Dash seemed to be exhibiting an enormous amount of self-control by not just flying away.

"Oh, I thought of what I was going to ask!" Twilight said, turning to Moon Dancer. "Is it something one pony can do alone?"

"No," Moon Dancer said. "Absolutely never."

Twilight thought, then suddenly burst into a grin. "Oh! Oh! Is it the tragedy of the commons??"

"Yes!" Moon Dancer yelled, equally delighted. "It is the tragedy of the commons!" They both jumped up and down in glee.

Rainbow watched this, bemused. "Okayyy, so not sticking around for the nerd olympics, here. Twilight, Pinkie asked me to see if you could help her out with something this afternoon. Me and Applejack are doing it, too."

"Sure," Twilight said, still beaming.

"Can I come, too?" Moon Dancer asked.

Rainbow scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Uh, no. Pinkie said you were specifically not invited, but she said to tell you that she still thinks you're..." Rainbow grimaced, "'super-dee-duper.'" At Moon dancer's vaguely hurt expression, she clarified: "Uh, I'm not supposed to say why you're not invited, but the reason rhymes with, um, 'Bluttershy's Birthday Party.'"

"Ohh," Twilight said, nodding. "Special Someponies of the birthday pony are guests of honor too, I guess. So Pinkie wouldn't want you to have to help with setting the party up."

"Yeah," Rainbow added. She gave Moon Dancer the Rainbow Dash version of a sly glance, which was a large, gawky grin. "And we all thought it'd be better to give you the time to actually get Fluttershy's birthday present."

Moon Dancer recoiled. "I'm getting closer! I've been making lists!"

Rainbow just stared, but Twilight, feeling a burst of energy, placed a hoof on Moon Dancer's shoulder. "I understand how you feel. I'd probably be doing the same thing."

"Thanks." Moon Dancer gave her a warm look, then turned up her nose at Rainbow. "See, Twilight gets me."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but she was smiling too. "Big surprise. Okay, see you later, Twilight?"

"Sure! I have to write Sunset, but after that I'll be free." They waved goodbye as Rainbow darted off.

Twilight gave her friend a sly look. "You've been making lists, and you didn't tell me?"

Moon Dancer fiddled with her front hooves nervously. "Well... no. I kind of... exaggerated about that. I'm not quite to the list-making stage yet."

"Want some help?"

"Yes, very much."

Twilight grinned. "Can you believe some ponies don't think I'm very cool?"

Moon Dancer grinned back. "Not for a second."

They giggled like dorks.

Sunset frowned as she scanned the glowing writing in her journal. "Huh," she said.

Pinkie Pie balanced on one foot for no apparent reason but to enjoy how it felt to almost fall over. "Oo, did Princess Twilight respond?" she asked brightly. "What'd she write?"

"She... um." Sunset scratched the back of her head. "Actually, I'm not sure if I should say. It's kind of a secret, I think."

Rarity put her hand on her chest and gasped. "A secret? My goodness, is it dangerous?"

"Not really, it's just..." Sunset sighed. "I've got kind of an ethical dilemma, here. Applejack, can I ask your advice?"

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash jumped in her face, pointing angrily. "How come you're asking her??"

"Because your eyes glazed over when I said the phrase 'ethical dilemma,' because Rarity got way too excited when I mentioned it was a secret, because Twilight is programming and isn't even listening, and because Pinkie..." Sunset trailed off thoughtfully. "Hm, actually, I don't have a reason for Pinkie."

Pinkie fell over, giggling madly. "Whee!" she cheered.

Twilight looked up from her laptop. "What?"

Applejack sighed and stepped forward. "Okay, I'll weigh in," she said. "Lay it out for me, Sunset."

Sunset nodded. "All right, so Princess Twilight just told me something... really personal about one of the ponies she knows. It's something that might also be true about this pony's counterpart over here. If it is true, it's something they probably don't want anyone to know."

Applejack rubbed her chin in thought. "Is it something important?"

"Yeah. It'd be better in the long-run for people to know, but it feels unfair to find out because of a parallel dimension."

"Gosh." Applejack put her hands on her hips. "That's a tricky one."

"Okayyyyy," Rainbow broke in. "First of all, you do know that you told us earlier that you were writing to Princess Twilight about Fluttershy, right? So we all know who you're talking about already."

"Yes," Rarity added. "And we know it has something to do with..." her voice dropped into a growl of utter contempt... "Weeping Willow. Because what else would you be talking about?"

"And if it's something good, that means it's bad for him," Rainbow said. "Oh!" she looked up at Sunset excitedly. "Is pony Weeping Willow dead??"

"Rainbow!" Twilight admonished, "that's terrible!"

Rainbow shrugged. "I didn't mean he died violently or anything. Maybe just of old age. I don't know how magic horse world works."

"No no no," Rarity said. "Sunset told us that it was a secret that was true about a human here."

"Right!" Pinkie agreed. "And it's something they want to keep secret, even though it'd be good for people to know, and it's... about Fluttershy..." She suddenly sprang to her feet.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" She grabbed her head with both hands, hopping from foot to foot in alarm. "I figured it out! Sunset, I figured it out! But I can't tell anyone this! But it's so important! Applejack, what do I do??"

"I think... I think we gotta treat this like information given in confidence," Applejack said. "If Fluttershy doesn't want anyone to know, it feels wrong to find out this way."

"Aagh!!" Pinkie screamed. "I did something wrong? What do I do??" She dashed over to Twilight desperately. "Twilight! Hypnotize me to forget the secret, like how you made Sunset always forget when she hops around like a bunny!"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why you guys are so amused by that," she muttered.

"Pinkie, calm down," Applejack said. "If you just figured it out on your own, then I don't think anyone did anything wrong..."

"Oh!" Pinkie shrieked, hurling herself around the group. "That just means you guys have to figure it out, too! Come on!" She danced from friend to friend, giving what she clearly believed, incorrectly, to be meaningful nudges and winks. "Think about it! Think about it! She likes caaaaaats?"

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. "Pinkie, I don't think that's going to..."

But Rarity gasped. "Oh my! That really explains so much..." She suddenly looked up at Pinkie crossly. "Hey, but that's not true about everyone who likes cats, though."

Sunset sighed. "Girls, I think it violates the spirit of 'figuring it out on your own' if you give each other hints."

"Aaagh!" Pinkie screeched. She pounced at Rarity, grabbing her friend's shoulders and shaking her. "No hints! No hints, Rarity!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "I think we're too late," she said. She gestured over to Twilight, whose deep blush indicated she had figured out Fluttershy's secret, too. "No use complaining, I guess. We've all probably known for a while, in the back of our heads."

"Hey!" They looked over at Rainbow, who folded her arms over her chest crossly. "You guys are being subtle, and I hate subtle. Will someone let me know what's going on?"

Pinkie and Rarity looked at Applejack with helplessness. Applejack sighed, then she stood and walked over to Rainbow. She whispered in her friend's ear for a moment.

"Oh!" Rainbow said. "Well, duh. I knew that."

Sunset gawked. "Wait... if you knew, didn't you think the whole Weeping Willow thing was weird?"

"Why?"

"Because he's a boy."

"Yeah? So what?"

Sunset wondered idly if she was being pranked. "Um. Lesbians don't like boys."

Rainbow blinked, then squinted. "Oh well, okay, if you say it all together like that, then it's weird."

Pinkie gasped. "Fluttershy is a lesbian? Whoa, I was way wrong." She giggled. "But yay! Hooray for her!"

"No, Pinkie, not hooray for her!" Sunset argued. "If this is true, then she's afraid to tell anyone and is dating a guy!"

"Hold up," Applejack said. "We may not like it, but that don't matter. We can't do anything. Think about how embarrassed Fluttershy would be if she knew we knew."

Rainbow frowned. "Right." She kicked at the ground in frustration. "This sucks!"

"Oh!" Pinkie raised her index finger, a bright smile on her face. "Does pony Fluttershy have a girlfriend? Or a cute girl pony that she likes? Maybe if we introduce her to someone over here..."

"Oh right." Sunset turned to Twilight. "Does anyone know anyone named 'Moon Dancer?' Twilight, maybe at Crystal Prep?"

"I don't think so. Is that, um. Flutterhsy's..." Twilight thought for a moment. "Girlfriend? I'm sorry, my brain can't fully wrap itself around the fact that we're talking about sentient ponies who date one another."

"You get used to it," Sunset said. "And yeah, that's Fluttershy's girlfriend. Really serious, sounds like."

"Ohh, how wonderful," Rarity said, clasping her hands over her heart. She frowned. "Although, I am not sure I like the idea of any version of Fluttershy dating some strange mystery girl. I certainly hope my counterpart over there did her duty and confirmed she was up to the appropriate standards."

Twilight raised a hand as if she was asking a question in class. "Girls, hold on a second. Are we even sure about this? Ponies and people might be different. Fluttershy might not be..."

"Okay, option one," Rainbow interrupted, "Fluttershy's a lesbian and scared to tell anyone. Option two, she's not a lesbian and actually likes Weeping Willow. You're the one getting an A plus-plus in math, but I think I know which is more likely."

Twilight paused, then nodded softly. "That's a good point," she said. She turned her head to the side and quietly added, "And it's an A-plus-plus-plus-plus, four pluses, just to be accurate."

They all frowned. There was a depressing silence.

Pinkie pounded a fist into her hand. "We need cheering up!" She declared. "Hey SunShim, could you do us a favor?"

"Uh, sure?"

Pinkie trotted closer and ginned mischievously. "Can I pleeeaaase say the word?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Really? Again?"

"It's... very amusing, Sunset," Rarity said. "We don't mean to embarrass you, but.."

"No no, it's fine," Sunset interrupted. "I just don't see what's so fascinating about it."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Uh, it's Sunset Shimmer, who's like the smartest kid in school, hopping around like a bunny in her tough-girl leather jacket. It's like the funniest thing I've ever seen."

Sunset sighed again, though she could not keep a small smile from her face. It was a pretty funny image. "Okay, whatever," she said, "go for it."

Pinkie said something. Sunset blinked and suddenly she was a few meters away from where she had been standing, and her friends were all grinning. Her nose itched.

Sunset looked around, disoriented. "Uh."

Pinkie threw her arm around Sunset's shoulders. "Thanks! That allllways cheers me up, no matter how many times I see it!"

Sunset reeled as the world slowly came back into focus. "Um, well, I'm glad to help out."

Rainbow stretched. "It's too hot out here. Let's go get some juice, okay? We can't help Fluttershy by just sitting around and sweating."

Sunset felt herself being led away. "Sure," she said, still feeling a bit addled. "I guess I could go for a carrot smoothie."

Before she even finished speaking, she knew it was the wrong thing to say. Her friends exploded in laughter.

Twilight glanced over at Rainbow and Applejack, who both seemed equally confused. They all peered back at the poster sitting there on the easel, then at Pinkie, standing next to it, gazing back at them expectantly, a pen in her mouth and a note pad in her hoof. Then they glanced at each other, again.

"Uh, Pinkie?" Rainbow said finally. "Not sure what we're supposed to be looking at, here."

"It's up to you!" Pinkie said encouragingly.

They looked. "Well," Applejack said, "it looks like a bunch of pink and yellow splotches."

Pinkie nodded, taking frantic notes. "Okay. Anything else? Does it make you think of Fluttershy?"

Applejack blinked, apparently worried this was some sort of trick question. "Well... Fluttershy is pink and yellow, so... I guess it does?"

Pinkie mumbled to herself thoughtfully and took more notes. "Okay," she said, switching the poster out for another one, "what about this one?"

"That's just kind of dark orange," Rainbow said.

Pinkie nodded. "Does this one remind you of Fluttershy?"

Rainbow scratched her head. "Not really."

"So the first one reminded you more of Fluttershy?"

"You mean the one that was Fluttershy-colored? Yes." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Pinkie, why are we doing this?"

"It's science!" Pinkie declared, switching the poster out for a new one, black and green. "I've decided to use experiments to help me plan my party decorations."

"Uh, this... isn't really an experiment, though," Twilight offered as politely as she could. "Experiments use tightly controlled conditions and randomized assignment."

Pinkie glared, unamused. "New result," she announced around her pen as she took notes, "black and green makes subjects into meanies."

"Pinkie..."

Pinkie switched out the green and black for a new poster, grey and brown. "Does this remind you of Fluttershy?" she interrupted sternly.

"No, it doesn't," Rainbow said. "It's like, the opposite of Fluttershy."

"It... kinda reminds me of Rarity, though," Applejack said.

"Rarity?" Rainbow asked, gaping at her. "Grey and brown?"

"Well, she's always talking about weird colors, I dunno."

"Oh, come on," Rainbow said. "What are you, colorblind? That's not like Rarity at all."

Pinkie dropped her pen as her mouth fell open. "What?! Ponies can be colorblind? They're blind to colors??" She brought her front hooves up to her chest and squeezed with despair. "How are they alive??"

Twilight grinned awkwardly. "Um, it doesn't really mean what you think. It just means they can't tell the difference between..."

"This changes everything!" Pinkie wailed, stomping in little circles. "How can I make the decorations just right for Fluttershy's birthday party when some ponies might not even be able to see them??"

"It's not very common," Twilight said, hovering over and placing her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "I don't think you need to worry about it. I don't think anypony we're inviting is colorblind."

Pinkie sniffled. "They're not? But what about those poor ponies..."

"Most colorblind ponies still see a range of colors," Twilight said as kindly as she could. "They just don't see what we see. I promise, they still appreciate colorful party decorations."

Pinkie regarded her with terrified eyes for a moment, then she slowly relaxed. "Thanks, Twilight." She grinned. "Spectrum-stential crisis averted!"

"Hey," Rainbow said, amused, "lucky for Twilight that Fluttershy isn't colorblind, right? That'd be awkward." She laughed, and Applejack and Pinkie joined her.

Twilight laughed too, but she quickly stopped and looked around in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"You know," Rainbow said. "Because of Moon Dancer."

Twilight scratched the back of her head. "I don't get it."

The other three ponies gaped at each other. There was an short silence, which Rainbow broke by chuckling. "Hold on," she said. "Hold on. Are you saying that you've seriously never noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"Oh man," Rainbow laughed. "Oh man, how could you possibly never have noticed?"

Twilight glared. "Um, you mind letting me in on the joke, here?"

"Twilight, you and Moon Dancer look a lot alike," Applejack explained. "Shoot, you're pretty much twins, except for your colors."

"What? That's not true."

"Oh, it's tooottttally true," Pinkie said brightly. "I kinda thought you were magic clones when I first met her."

"....really?" Twilight frowned. She quickly conjured a small mirror and a photograph of Moon Dancer. She held them both out in front of her and looked back and forth between them. "Oh, my... we do look a lot alike!" She gasped. "Does Fluttershy know?"

Rainbow gave her a confused squint. "What do you mean, 'does Fluttershy know?' She's got eyes, so I think she's probably figured it out."

"Right." Twilight popped the mirror and photo away. She hung her head and looked at the ground. "Right. But... we don't act at all alike though, right?"

Rainbow fell over onto the ground laughing, and even Applejack seemed to have trouble keeping from breaking into a chuckle. Twilight regarded them with dismay. "...we do act alike?"

"Uh, I dunno," Rainbow said. "Let me check the Big Book of Ponies That Are Totally The Same. Oh wait, I can't, because Twilight and Moon Dancer are fighting over who gets to read it."

Applejack leaned forward. "We don't mean to laugh at you, Twilight. This is just something that's been pretty obvious to everypony since we met Moon Dancer, so it's funny you wouldn't have noticed."

"Girls!" Pinkie called, waving her hooves in alarm. "Colors!" She pointed meaningfully at the new poster she had put up. "This one is chartreuse. What do you think?"

They ignored her. Applejack leaned forward. "Twilight?"

Twilight looked up, frowning. "Um, Pinkie, I don't think I can look at your colors anymore, I'm sorry."

Applejack took a step towards her, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." Twilight sighed and spread her wings. "I'm not feeling great. I think I'll go lie down."

Pinkie gasped. "Oh no! Is chartreuse..." she paused with terror, "...the color of despair??"

"Yeah, Pinkie." Twilight lifted off, tears beginning to fill her eyes. "Chartreuse is the color of despair. The chartreuse got to me. Sorry." She soared into the sky, leaving three confused ponies behind.

"...How could you not have noticed that the two of you look alike?"

"I just didn't," Twilight grumbled.

"Didn't you go to school together? In all that time..."

"Rarity!" Twilight stomped her hoof in irritation. "This isn't really the point."

"All right, fine, fine." Rarity levitated the mug of tea over to her friend. "Chamomile, darling, it will help you calm down." She took her own mug and stood across from Twilight, looking at her with concern. "All right, so what is the point?"

Twilight hung her head. The smell of the tea was actually helping her relax a little. "Fluttershy," she mumbled.

"Fluttershy? Why would... oh." Rarity closed her mouth, then opened it, then closed it again. "Darling," she said finally, "I can think of several things you might mean by that, so could you please be more specific?"

"It's just... I got a thought in my head and I couldn't get rid of it," Twilight said. "But it makes me feel like a bad pony."

"Twilight, you are not a bad pony, and I know Fluttershy would say the same, no matter what this thought of yours is."

"Yeah." Twilight sipped her tea, though it was still too hot to drink any more than the slightest bit. "I mean... if Moon Dancer and I look alike, and if Fluttershy likes Moon Dancer, then..." She looked up at Rarity with hollow eyes. "See what I mean?"

"Oh, darling." Rarity nodded at her with sympathy. "Yes, that's a perfectly natural thing to think. You and Fluttershy are very dear friends; it's just reasonable that she might have at some point... become confused about the nature of her feelings for you."

"It is?"

"Of course!" Rarity sighed dramatically. "Why, the poor dear had quite a strong attraction for me at one point."

"Really?"

"Yes. A long time ago." Rarity gazed out a nearby window with pensive intensity. "Alas, I am of course completely heterosexual, so it would have been absolutely impossible for me to reciprocate her feelings. We could only soldier on. Tragic and beautiful." She looked back at Twilight, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "But in time, her feelings faded. If anything, our friendship grew stronger."

"Hmm." Twilight stared into her teacup, relieved for the pause it allowed her. "Okay, but that's not all I'm worried about. Because... what about Moon Dancer?"

"What about her?"

"Um... what if the only reason Fluttershy liked Moon Dancer was because, um... she looks like me?"

Rarity blinked in surprise. "Oh." She took a sip of tea and regained her composure. "So, you worry Moon Dancer is... a replacement... for you?"

Twilight cringed. "It sounds really bad when you say it like that."

"No, it's entirely understandable, if a bit... overthought." Rarity stirred her tea smartly. "Well. Twilight, surely you agree that Fluttershy and I are very close, yes?"

"Yeah."

"And you understand that Fluttershy is very open with me about her attractions? The one directed at myself excluded, of course."

"...I guess."

Rarity nodded smartly. "Well then, you can believe me when I say this: Fluttershy has absolutely never, at any time, found you the least bit attractive. Not even a small amount. I'm absolutely certain that you are a completely unromantic, nonsexual presence in her life." She smiled proudly. "Now, do you feel better?"

Twilight stared back at her. "....no."

Rarity nearly dropped the tea she was self-congratulatingly sipping. "No?"

"No. I feel worse."

Rarity trotted closer, frowning. "Oh Twilight, I'm sorry. I certainly never meant to make you feel worse."

Tears stung Twilight's eyes, which she found more bewildering than anything else. She sniffled.

"Twilight!" Rarity ran up to her in alarm, pressing her neck against Twilight's in a hug. "I've put my hoof in my mouth. I'm sorry."

"No, no Rarity, it's all right," Twilight said, wiping her tears away with a foreleg. "I don't even know why I'm feeling like this. I just..." She hung her head in shame. "I'm jealous of Moon Dancer."

The room felt sere and wispy from her realization. Twilight stared with hollow eyes. "Why am I jealous of Moon Dancer? Rarity, why would I be jealous of Moon Dancer??"

Rarity pulled back and fixed her with a serious gaze. "Naturally, I want to help you, but I may not be the best pony to talk to about... this particular kind of issue. But, there's someone you know with the perfect expertise to help with this sort of thing."

Twilight looked back blankly. "...Spike?"

"No, dear. Your sister-in-law."

"Cadence? But she..." Twilight gasped. "This is a love problem?"

Rarity grinned back at her, not even bothering to hide her excitement. "This is a love problem!"

Author's Note

These things happen to other people. They don't happen at all, in fact.

Dig My Grave

Twilight had not slept well.

She hated not knowing what she was thinking, but no matter how hard she tried to get a grip, her feelings and thoughts just whooshed around her head like jetsam.

She didn't mind being the center of attention... if she did, the whole princess thing would have been a nightmare. But she didn't seek out ponies' attention, either. She had simply never cared much either way.

But now... ever since Rarity had said those five horrible words, "This is a love problem," she couldn't stop remembering all the times Fluttershy had NOT paid attention to her.

At the time, they had all been so mundane. "Oh, Fluttershy's just looking over there," not something to even notice. But now... every memory felt like a stabbing flame in her chest. It filled her up with sadness and fear and, worst of all, just the tiniest little bit of anger.

Instead, Fluttershy had paid attention to Moon Dancer. Moon Dancer, who, in her weird way, had gotten cool. Cool-nerdy. Twilight was just nerdy.

She wanted to see Cadence and Shining Armor as soon as possible to make this feeling go away. But they had a foal, they were busy running a kingdom. She had to wait for the message to get through, first. They'd probably tell her to come immediately, but in the meantime, she had at least a day of... this.

Her first thought was to go see Applejack. Applejack had gone on a date with Fluttershy years ago; maybe she had felt like this at some point? But when Twilight got to the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, she just stopped and could not go any further. She had no context for these feelings; what if they were heinous?

She imagined Applejack staring at her in dumbfounded horror. "You're the worst pony in Equestria," imagine-Applejack said. "What are you even thinking there, terriblecube? I'm calling you 'terriblecube' because you don't deserve to be called 'sugarcube' anymore."

And then, as Twilight was trying to get her courage up, it occurred to her that she did not even know if Applejack was gay. They had never talked about it. But what if Applejack wasn't gay? What if it was a big misunderstanding? She couldn't just go up to Applejack and ask if she had gay-type feelings about Fluttershy when she wasn't even sure if she was gay.

Imagine-Applejack's face burned with disgust. "How could you think such awful things about me?" she asked. "Fluttershy and I were just gal pals. I'd never think such horrible, invasive things about my friends, terriblecube."

Twilight very suddenly realized, for the first time, that her "love problem" involved gay-type feelings. Even if they weren't outright gay, they were gayish. Gayesque feelings. And they were her own feelings.

The world began to spin, and she just started walking in a random direction. She had no clue what she felt or what she could think, so she tried to grasp on to something.

The feeling she grasped onto was anxiety. That was nice and familiar and comfortable.

The thought she grabbed onto was "I just want Fluttershy to look at me."

She walked. She fretted.

"Here's the thing I don't get," Moon Dancer was saying, sipping from her late-afternoon coffee. "The language."

Starlight blinked in surprise. "...the language? Really? Whole alternate human dimension, and the language is what you focus on?"

"Well, yeah. Think about it. An entirely different species, evolved in an entirely different way. I'm not a magic specialist, like you, so I can't comment on why there's versions of ponies we know over there. But why would the languages be exactly the same?"

Starlight shrugged. "Well, they're not exactly the same," she said. "Like, when we say 'everypony,' they say 'everybody.'"

Moon Dancer looked back at her, befuddled. "Every... body."

"Yeah. Everybody."

"'Body' like a dead body?"

"I... don't think they think about it like that."

"But this is my point," Moon Dancer argued. "Except for when we talk about ponies, it's exactly the same language. Think about how weird that is!"

"There's a lot of similarities," Starlight said. "Like... why do they live in houses, too? Why did they domesticate dogs, too? It's magic."

"They have dogs??"

"Yeah. Spike's a dog over there."

Moon Dancer just gaped. "I think you guys might have buried the lede, here."

"The portal dresses you up. I appeared over there with a cute little beanie. I've been trying to find something similar over here, but nothing looks right."

Moon Dancer paused, but then shook her head. "This is all incredibly bizarre, but I can't get all sucked up into it. I have to go make spreadsheets for Fluttershy's birthday present. It's only two days until her party!"

"Spreadsheets...?"

"I have it almost narrowed down to a few sets of a couple of options!" Moon Dancer said proudly. "I'll be able to figure it out for sure with some pivot tables."

"Uhhh. Well, good luck." Starlight waved pleasantly but confusedly as Moon Dancer walked away. "See you tomorrow."

Starlight shrugged; Moon Dancer was nice but always a little hard to connect with. She turned around to go back to her room, but shrieked in surprise at seeing that Twilight was standing less than a meter behind her, grinning wildly.

"Hey!" Twilight greeted. "How's it going?"

"Where did you come from?!" Starlight barked, panting in shock.

"Oh you know me, always jumping out from behind corners!" Twilight pantomimed pouncing like a bear. "Grar! Ha ha ha."

"Um... were you hiding from Moon Dancer?"

"What? No!" Twilight clutched her chest innocently. "I, no! Moon Dancer was here? Shucks. Hey, so I'm going to the Crystal Empire tomorrow morning."

Starlight blinked. "Why so suddenly? Is everything okay?"

"Fine! Totally fine! Fine-a-roonie!" She paused and audibly muttered, "Fine-a-roonie...?" She shook her head rapidly and continued: "Anyway, I'll be back within twenty-four hours. But in the meantime, could you do me a favor and watch my journal to see if Sunset writes? I want somepony to be monitoring it, but I'm not really, um, going to be able to focus on it while I'm gone."

"Oh, sure," Starlight replied. "That Fluttershy situation still going on, huh?"

"Fluttershy situation?!" Twilight gaped at Starlight in completely inappropriate shock. Slowly, her horrified expression morphed into a nervous, strained smile. "I mean... yyeessss?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Starlight asked. Twilight responded with the kind of expression someone might have while watching two platypuses make out. Starlight presumed it was a dramatically inept attempt at looking guiltless and honest.

She sighed. "Fine. Yes, I'll take care of your journal. Just leave it in the library tomorrow morning before you go."

"Thanks!" Twilight said. "Um... one more thing? Are you leaving the castle tonight?"

Starlight had no clue what was going on, but she intuited disaster was looming. She regarded Twilight with suspicion. "...yeah. I was going to get some dinner."

"Great! Hey, could you stop by Fluttershy's cottage and ask her to come by the castle tonight?"

Starlight was too many friendship lessons removed from simply mind-controlling Twilight to forget she had made that request, but a deep part of herself knew that was not actually a bad idea. "I guess... I can do that." Starlight patted the floor hesitantly. "Twilight... you know you can talk to me, right? About anything that's going on?"

"Yes of course of course!" Twilight replied, smiling blithely. "You're such a good friend! Good friends are good." She reached forward and patted Starlight's head, then appeared to suddenly realize what she was doing and froze.

Starlight's concern became outright dread. "Twilight..."

"Oh, hello, Spike!" Twilight suddenly shouted, turning and trotting off down the hallway toward the nonplussed dragon, who had just walked out of the kitchen. "Eating a sapphire there, huh?!"

"It's an aquamarine."

"Oh, Spike and his aquamarines!" Twilight traipsed off, disappearing into a random room she almost certainly had no reason to go into.

Starlight and Spike eyed one another for a moment. "Hm," Starlight said. "So... has she gone totally crazy, or just a little crazy?"

"I think just a little," Spike replied. "Her brother sent a message and said she should visit him tomorrow. He usually calms her down."

Starlight nodded. "So, Level 2? Keep an eye on things? Check in if she gets worse?"

"Good plan." Spike popped the aquamarine in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "Ehh, she'll be fine," he said after a minute. "She's dealt with every friend problem under the sun, by this point."

Starlight nodded. Spike was right, but she still could not shake this uncomfortable feeling.

"Hello! I. Um." Twilight froze. She looked down at the card she was holding aloft with magic. It read: "Hi, Fluttershy, I'm going to the Crystal Empire tomorrow, and I'm probably going to stay overnight, so could you please take care of Owlowiscious?"

Twilight grimaced and kept pacing. She turned towards her pet, huddled stoicly on his perch. "This is a good idea, right?" she asked. Owlowiscious did not respond.

She remembered what Rarity had said as she was leaving: "Now darling, this is very important. It's probably for the best for you to avoid Fluttershy until you have a chance to get some good advice. Just so nopony will do anything without having a chance to think about it."

"'Without having a chance to think about it,'" Twilight muttered. "I'm thinking about it plenty, thank you very much. Would a pony who isn't thinking about it have note cards?"

Owlowiscious looked at her. He glanced down at her note cards then back up to her face. "Whoo," he said.

"I have to see her. Right? There is no other way I could possibly make sure you're taken care of while I'm gone. It's for the greater good. And this is friendship! I can do friendship!"

"Whoo."

Unsettled, Twilight resumed pacing. "I just have to practice, that's all," she continued. "Practice makes perfect. That was rule number seven in Professor Pretty-Polite's Program for Proper Pony Protocol. Except I think I might actually have dreamed that book? Because rule number eight was 'paint potatoes puce.' And rule number nine was 'breath mints fool the cops.'"

Owlowiscious regarded her with a distinctly unamused look.

Twilight took a deep breath and attempted to refocus on her card. "Hey, Fluttershy." An attempt at an easy-going, languid smile. "Hey, so I'm going to the Crystal! Empire. Ahem. The Crystal Empire, and. Tomorrow, I will."

She stopped, took a deep breath, and refocused. "Hello to Fluttershy. I'm overnight the Crystal Empire. Could you Owalish? Um. Owool... gah!" She hopped up and down, fretting. "Hi, Fluttershy..."

"Uh. Hi, Twilight."

Twilight screamed and spun toward the sound. Fluttershy was standing in the window, smiling awkwardly. "Oweloshoo!" Twilight barked.

Fluttershy's smile grew more awkward. "Um. Starlight said you wanted to talk to me, so..."

"Yes!" Twilight laughed fakely and threw her cue cards under the bed in a dramatically failed attempt to be subtle. "Hi. Yes. Thank you!"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine! I... actually, I'm anxious about... my trip. Sorry."

"Oh no, I understand completely." Fluttershy stepped through the window and settled on the floor. "Were you... were you saying something about Owlowiscious?"

"Yes!" Twilight was grateful her friends were so understanding. "Yes. Um, I'm taking a trip to the, uh, Crystal Empire tomorrow, and so I won't be around tomorrow night. So..."

"Oh, you want me to feed Owlowiscious and keep him company?" Fluttershy gave an adorable, pleased grin, which did not calm Twilight in the slightest. "Of course, I would be happy to do that. He can spend time at the sanctuary." She walked over to the owl and regarded him with respectful compassion. "Would you like that, Owlowiscious?"

"Whoo."

"Thanks!" Twilight said, pleased at the outcome, and then she realized she had not planned the encounter any farther ahead than this exact point. She froze.

"Actually, couldn't you have just told Starlight to give me that message?" Fluttershy asked thoughtfully. "Was there something else?"

"Nothing! No, nothing at all!" Twilight grinned widely. Neither of them moved for a moment.

"Well." Fluttershy looked around the room, settling on the small suitcase on the bed. "It looks like you're packing for tomorrow, so I'm going to go..."

"Say!" Twilight barked, walking stiffly in a semi-circle for no reason. "Do you know the funny thing the girls were talking about yesterday?"

"Um. What?"

"They were saying... oh ho ho, you'll never believe it." Twilight picked up an hourglass that was on a table and immediately set it back down in the same spot. "It's really funny. They were saying that Moon Dancer and I look alike! Har har har! Can you believe it?"

Fluttershy glanced to her side, either looking to see if Owlowiscious could help her or scoping out potential escape routes. Finally, she just said, "I guess I can believe that?"

"Really? You think we look alike? Just out of curiosity, did you think that before you started dating her?"

"Um, I didn't know her before I started... uh." Fluttershy suddenly looked up into Twilight's face, concerned. "Are you really feeling all right?"

Twilight was absolutely not feeling all right. She could not stop thinking about the first time she had met Fluttershy, how this single pony had ridiculously gone from being a mumbling, cowering stranger to being the reason Twilight was dumbly watching herself destroy her own life. "I think we look alike," she said. "The two of us have a lot in common, in fact. We tend to like the same things. And the same ponies."

Fluttershy stared back at her, terrified.

Twilight realized the best thing to do was just end the interaction, even if it meant being rude. "Do you want to go for a flight?" she asked, realizing, with muted concern, that she was apparently in no mood to do what her brain wanted her to do.

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. "A flight?"

"Yeah! Do you want to take a quick flight with me, just around town? It's a nice evening for it." She took a step closer, smiling as calmly as she possibly could.

"Um." Fluttershy took a half-step back. "I don't really like flying around just to fly..."

"Ha ha ha!" Twilight said, taking another step forward. "Of course, right. How silly of me. Well, do you want to stay and help me pack?"

"Uh, I-I think," Fluttershy stammered, "I think that... Twilight, did you just wink?"

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TWILIGHT "...Yes?"

Fluttershy was not blushing. Instead, she was ashy pale, sweating and shaking. "T...Twilight, I..."

Twilight took another step closer. She gave her first ever attempt at a smouldering gaze. "I think it would help me a lot, Fluttershy," she purred.

"I have to go!" Fluttershy burst out. "I'm not feeling well, so I have to go. And I think you're not feeling well either and you should consider postponing your travel plans if you're getting sick because that's not good for you okay bye!" She darted out the window like a confused sparrow.

Twilight stood in her room, stock still. She gazed out after her friend, thinking, with surprising dispassion, that her life was officially, completely over. After a moment, she walked stiffly over to her bed, and somehow, she was able to restrain herself from screaming until she had her face pressed fully against the pillow.

After calming down and mopingly apologizing to Owlowiscious for causing such a spectacle in front of him ("Who," he had replied, soothingly), Twilight came to the reasonable conclusion that sleep was simply not a realistic goal. She was humiliated, but she had an odd sense of sangfroid about being humiliated. She quickly rated the levels of embarassment she would experience seeing each of her friends right now. Fluttershy won, at twelve million embarassment, but even Spike, who trailed the pack with two million embarrassment, would be too much to face.

Still, she was the princess of friendship, and she needed her friends. She would turn to her friends even when the only solution to her problem was to wear a paper bag that had the word SHAME written on it over her head for the entire rest of her life. She just needed a friend she could talk to without having to actually see.

She clutched the magic journal tightly to her chest and sat pitifully in the corner of her room. She opened to a new page and wrote --Hi, Sunset, are you there, by any chance?

She waited. She was not certain what time of day it was in the human world, and she reminded herself that Sunset was usually too busy to respond right away. But only moments later, the writing began to appear:

hi im here

Relieved, Twilight responded --I'm so glad you're there. I'm sorry to get in touch so unexpectedly, but something just happened. I think I just might have done something really bad, and I need to talk to somepony about it, even on paper.

The reply appeared almost instantly:

you should come over to this world now. ill meet you

Twilight nearly had an anxiety attack just thinking about trying to stand bipedally at the moment. She quickly wrote --No, that's fine. We can just write.

The response came slowly, almost sullenly:

fine. whatd you do?

Twilight took a deep breath. --I'm not sure I even know. I acted really aggressive and rude to one of my friends. (I'm too embarrassed to tell you who it is right now; I promise I'll tell you later.)

As she wrote, she grew more and more frantic, the memory alone igniting her anxiety. --I just felt like I wanted her to pay more attention to me, and I felt really upset when she wouldn't, and I just kept going and going and things kept getting worse and worse. I think I went way too far. I feel terrible, and I'm afraid one of my other friends will be really mad at me.

hm.

Twilight looked at the word in the journal with confusion. --Sunset, are you all right? Is it okay that I'm talking to you about this? You seem kind of odd.

The response was fast, again:

its fine its just unomfrtable to write. meet me over here and well talk face to face

Twilight shook her head frantically, even though no one was around to see it except Owlowiscious, who seemed unimpressed. --I really can't, I'm sorry. I'm leaving tomorrow to talk to my brother and his wife about it, and that should help. I just needed a friend tonight. I really really messed up.

Sunset did not reply, which Twilight barely noticed, since she had begun to cry. She idly wondered if tear stains showed up in the other book. Eventually she wrote --I'm mostly just confused. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever had feelings for a friend which are weird and bad, but you can't stop them from making you do things?

There was a long delay, but finally glowing words appeared:

yes. ive felt like that. it hurts.

For some reason, Twilight started crying harder.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up, the red glow of sunrise oozing through her window. The journal lay on the floor next to her, dark and inert. It was already time to go.

Author's Note

Every time you call my name, I hear the angels say, "Dig my grave."

Where Your Eyes Don't Go

Rainbow Dash splayed her back legs on the ground, feeling the stretch in her hips and back. "Little more," she said to Fluttershy, who dutifully put more weight as she pressed on Rainbow's shoulders. "Okay, great, leave it like that a minute." Properly positioned, she directed her thoughts back to her friend's problem. "So... Twilight was flirting with you."

A slight jostling indicated that Fluttershy was nodding. "It was very uncomfortable. She winked at me."

Rainbow grinned despite herself. "Oh man, I kind of wish I'd been there. I bet it was hilarious."

"That's not the word I'd use..."

"Yeah, you know what I mean, though. OK, let me up, your turn."

They switched positions. Rainbow always forgot how limber Fluttershy was and she was always impressed whenever she was reminded. She figured that worked out well for everypony. "Listen," she said with only a little hesitancy, "you know Twilight's deal, right? She freaks out sometimes and acts crazy. I bet she didn't even know what she was even doing."

"Do you really think so?"

"Psht. Yeah. It's gotta be that. Twilight wouldn't do anything on purpose to mess with you and Moon Dancer. She's, like, you guys's biggest fan." She gently pulled away from Fluttershy, who stood and regarded her apprehensively. "Okay, come on," Rainbow said. "Wing squats, let's go."

Fluttershy frowned. "I don't like wing squats."

"Nopony likes wing squats, you do them because they're good for you. Come on." Rainbow began her exercise very lightly, gesturing with encouragement. "I promise, if you're worried about something, a workout always does the trick."

They wing-squatted for a bit, and then they did a few sit-ups. Fluttershy needed all her energy for the exercises, and Rainbow used the time to think of what to say next. That was a bad idea, because she ended up saying, "It's you dating Moon Dancer. It made everything weird."

Fluttershy froze and stared at Rainbow in horror. "What...?"

"No! I mean... sorry, I said that wrong." Rainbow sighed. "Listen, we're all really, really happy for you, I promise. We all want you to have a special sompony. It's just... look, we were all friends for years without any of us dating, and now all out of nowhere, one of us has this super serious relationship. It's new. We gotta adjust. It's not fair that you have to deal with us being weird because you found a special somepony, but that's what's going on."

"...so you're not all mad at me?"

"What? No! Of course not. You got a right to tell off anypony that makes you think they are." Rainbow stood. "Okay, laps. C'mon." She rose into the air and took off at a leisurely (maddeningly slow) pace.

Fluttershy was already a little out of breath. "But all of you are having a hard time?"

"I wouldn't say 'hard time,'" Rainbow replied. "Nopony's gonna act as bad as I did. But yeah, we're all trying to adjust. Like how Rarity's always working really hard to make sure you know you can talk to her about Moon Dancer. And, like, Pinkie was showing us all these decoration colors for your birthday party because she's nervous about it going right. Little stuff."

"And Applejack?"

"Pffft. Applejack's the only one who's totally fine. Well, I mean, about all that. Which is strange, because..."

"It was one date, Rainbow."

"Whatever. Anyway, she's just weird because she's super-judgy about Canterlot ponies."

Fluttershy panted. "She is?"

"Oh, yeah. You know, her big book-learnin' vs. common-sense farmpony stuff, I don't really get it. But she knows it's not fair, so she's sitting on it." Rainbow appraised Fluttershy's state and nodded smartly. "Okay, time for a break." They glided to the ground. "Come on, resting doesn't mean we're not moving."

They slowly walked, Fluttershy panting and sweating. Finally, she said, "I didn't know all this was going on."

"Because none of it is your problem," Rainbow replied airily. "I didn't tell you because you're supposed to do anything about it. You're doing everything right. It's all just gonna take a little bit of time."

Fluttershy looked down at the ground and softly asked, "so why would Twilight be acting like that?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Who knows? Probably some crazy-complicated Twilight freakout thing. I bet she didn't even know ponies could be gay until she found out about you and Moon Dancer. She's probably figuring stuff out about herself."

Fluttershy frowned. "I don't think that matters. It wasn't okay."

"What?" Rainbow shook her head. "That's not what I'm saying. Break over!" She took off, Fluttershy begrudgingly following. "Look, what Twilight did isn't cool," Rainbow continued. "If you're upset about it, then that's totally fine, and I'll be right there with you. But if you're not upset about it, then maybe just think about forgiving her? I mean, who knows, when this is over, your gay trivia team might have another member."

"...maybe." They flew in silence for a few moments. "Lyra's not gay, she's bi," Fluttershy clarified.

"Ugh, whatever, you know what I'm saying," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. She looked over at her exhausted friend. "So... are you upset, or not?"

"Right now... my wings hurt too much for me to be upset."

"It's working!" Rainbow pumped her hoof and did a loop. "I rule! I told you wing-squats were good for you."

Fluttershy grimaced and panted. "Because... they hurt so much... they distract you from your problems?"

"Yeah! And also, they build your traps."

"Traps?!" Pinkie exclaimed, pedaling her flying bicycle beside them. "Oh no!"

Fluttershy squeaked in surprise, but Rainbow just sighed. "Not that kind of trap, Pinkie."

"Oh." Pinkie giggled at her own mistake. "Anyway, sorry to interrupt your workout, girls, but I had a question for Fluttershy about her party! Actually more like several questions. Three or four eensy tiny dozen questions."

Fluttershy just looked at Rainbow and pointed pleadingly at the ground. Rainbow nodded and they all glided to the ground, Pinkie simply hopping off her bicycle and letting it float away. "So," Pinkie said with desperately feigned casualness, "I heard a craaaazy rumor that Twilight went out of town this morning! Isn't that craaaazy?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "It's true, Pinkie."

"Ha ha!" Pinkie laughed, her eyes flashing with mania. "Twilight leaves town the day before Fluttershy's birthday! The day before Fluttershy's birthday party! That's hilarious!"

Fluttershy slowly caught her breath. "I think she's planning on being back tomorrow morning," she said. "The party's not until nighttime."

"That's cutting it awfully close there, doncha think!?" Pinkie shrieked, then she clutched her chest. "I mean! That's fine! Super dandy duper! We'll be fine! Heyyyy, Fluttershy, which do you like better, parties with balloons, or parties with balloons and also streamers?"

"I like the same things I've always liked, Pinkie," Fluttershy said sharply. "I'm not a different pony just because I'm dating now."

It wasn't until a moment later that she realized Rainbow and Pinkie had stopped walking when she said that. She looked back and saw them standing there, Rainbow awkward and Pinkie hurt. "Oh..." Fluttershy walked back to them, hanging her head. "I'm so sorry, Pinkie; it was really rude of me to snap at you. It's just... I have so much happening to me right now, and I really do trust you to make a party I'll enjoy."

She looked over at Rainbow, who began running in place, staring back at her meaningfully. Fluttershy sighed and began to slowly trot along, Rainbow following.

Even as she smiled gratefully, Pinkie joined in. "I know, I'm being a silly-filly."

"It's okay, Pinkie, I know the party will be great." The three of them ran on for a moment. "Uh, Rainbow?" Flutterhy said hesitantly.

"Yo?"

"I think I need to lie down for a long time. When can I do that?"

Rainbow glanced at her stopwatch. "Ten more minutes."

Fluttershy squeaked in despair. Pinkie groaned. They all jogged.

Rainbow Dash nodded in thanks as Rarity handed over the can of sparkling water. It was a routine, now: head up to Rarity's bedroom and talk about how much they hated Weeping Willow. Rainbow had an ally, and it made things a little more secure. Sure, they all hated Weeping Willow, but Rarity really hated Weeping Willow.

"...and all along, he was giving me that look. You know the one. And he tells me... oo, I can't believe it." Rarity balled up her fist and glared. "He tells me, 'Science says women who wear makeup are more likely to be lonely and depressed.'"

"What??" Rainbow leaned forward, bugging out her eyes. "Augh, he just keeps getting worse somehow!"

"I remained perfectly polite, of course, and I asked him why he thought to mention that. And he just looked at me and said..." Rarity fanned herself in distress and rage, "...he said, 'Well, you look like someone who wouldn't know any science.'"

Rainbow was actually too shocked to reply. She vaguely realized she should stop thinking there was no deeper Weeping Willow could go.

Rarity flung herself onto the chaise lounge she kept in the corner of her room. "And that was when Fluttershy came back with her math book, and they left." She dramatically perched the back of her hand against her forehead. "The worst part, however, was when they were leaving, he said to me, 'I'm just kidding around, don't take it too seriously.'"

"He always does that!" Rainbow exclaimed, punching Rarity's bed in anger. "He'll be the worst and then go 'Oh, it's just a joke, can't you take a joke?'"

"He continuously adds annoying habits," Rarity said. "He kept mentioning Fluttershy's big birthday surprise and how amazing it will be for her. Three times in four minutes. I counted. And he kept sniffling. After every sentence, a sniffle."

"Oh man, the nose thing!" Rainbow agreed. "I didn't even notice at first, but once I did, it was the only thing I could pay attention to. Oh, and what's with that notebook he keeps carrying around?"

"Oh!" Rarity sat up, an odd smile on her face. "That was the other thing I wanted to mention. It's completely unbelievable. I asked him about it, because he kept glancing at it. And he told me... goodness." Rarity let out a giggle. "He told me, it was where he was writing down his 'rhymes.'"

"What?!" Rainbow fell back onto the bed, laughing harder than she had in weeks. "If his big birthday surprise is that he's going to rap to her, that would be amazing. If it wasn't Fluttershy that had to sit there and listen to him, this would almost all be worth it just for how hysterical that'll be."

"Exactly!" Rarity exclaimed. "Anyone else would tell him to stop, but Fluttershy will sit there and listen to the whole thing." She sighed, sipping her mango-flavored sparkling water. "Rainbow, really. What are we going to do?"

Rainbow stopped laughing. She lay back on Rarity's bed, watching the ceiling fan spin lazily. "I dunno. Wait for Sunset to come up with a plan?"

"I don't think she's going to. She's taking a long time, and she seems frozen about it. I'm not sure why. Maybe she's still concerned that we were somehow unwelcoming to him first."

Rainbow snorted. "You know what the first thing he said to me was? I went, 'Yo, dude.' And he said something like, 'Oh, typical, girls totally ignore me until I get a girlfriend, and then they all want to talk to me.'"

Rarity sat up. "I have been perfectly civil, but I honestly don't care anymore. We just need to be rid of him. And of course I'm perfectly straight..." She looked at Rainbow expectantly.

Rainbow blinked, unsure of what she was supposed to do. "Um, yeah, you're straight?"

Rarity nodded smartly. "Yes, and so because I'm straight, I can't directly understand. But Fluttershy deserves to live openly." She sighed pensively, gazing into the middle distance. "Can you imagine it? Fluttershy with a beautiful girlfriend? It's so sweet."

"Yeah. She deserves it." Rainbow felt a bit sleepy and mopey, staring up at the fan. "I guess we just have to keep waiting." There was a long pause. Rainbow sat up. "I hate waiting."

Rarity simply drank her sparkling water. "Me too, darling. But what can we do?"

They just looked at one another helplessly.

"...um. And then I told her she shouldn't travel if she's not feeling well, and I flew away." Fluttershy looked back at her special somepony hesitantly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately, I was really confused."

Moon Dancer did not move. Her mouth hung open slightly in an expression of shock, but her eyes were shifting and bulging this way and that. There was a lot going on in her head.

"...Moon Danc--"

"I need a minute!" Moon Dancer bellowed suddenly. She whirled around and marched out of the room.

Fluttershy stood alone, akwardly. She noticed Moon Dancer had not done her dishes recently, then she felt rude for noticing.

Moon Dancer strode back into the room. She looked calm and frantic simultaneously. "I'm better now," she announced. "Please be aware, my inclination is to use intellectualization in situations like this. Is that all right?"

"Um, what does that mean?"

"It means I act like a parody of a university professor, because it helps keep me calm."

"Oh. Yes, that's fine."

Moon Dancer nodded sharply. "All right. First things first. Are you okay?"

Fluttershy smiled gratefully and leaned against her special somepony. "Yes. I was upset this morning, but I'm fine now."

"All right." Fluttershy could practically hear the quill scraping across Moon Dancer's mental checklist. "Okay. Second thing: mind control, emotional manipulation, et cetera. There are a number of spells and artifacts that could have been affecting her. Did you notice any strange glowing in her eyes? Was there a noticeable change in pressure in the air around her horn?"

Fluttershy thought for a moment. "I don't think so."

"Was there a teapot in the room anywhere? Or a small statue of a sphinx?"

"Uh. No."

"All right." Moon Dancer nodded again. "Next: Collateral damage. Is there any way you can think of that somepony outside the three of us could be hurt as a result of Twilight's actions?"

Moon Dancer's way of dealing with this was very alien to Fluttershy, but there was something comforting about it. "Pinkie Pie. She wants my birthday party to go well."

"How big a priority is that?"

"Um." Fluttershy sighed. "It's kind of important. I really don't want her to feel like she can't make a good party for me. I just heard she's been upset about it."

"I see. But your party is tomorrow night. So if Twilight gets back tomorrow, that only leaves us that day to talk to her."

"I know," Fluttershy said, frowning. "But... I don't want to wait too long, anyway."

"Me neither," Moon Dancer agreed. She sighed and laid her chin on Fluttershy's back. "Okay. Next: Twilight herself."

"Y...yes."

They stood in silence for a moment. "This is the hard one," Moon Dancer said. Fluttershy just nodded.

"Okay." Moon Dancer pulled back and looked at Fluttershy seriously. "The worst possibility is that she has feelings for you, and she was attempting to... steal you away." She looked away for a moment, then looked back just as seriously. "I think we can discard that."

"I think so, too."

"Okay." Moon Dancer could not hide her clear relief. "Next: She has feelings for you, and she could not keep herself from expressing them, due to the closeness of your friendship, her lack of experience with romance, and confusion about a same-sex attraction."

Fluttershy squeaked lightly. "M...maybe."

"...Yeah, okay." Moon Dancer's intellectualization was slipping, but she was clearly doing her best to keep it together. "Next: She was acting strangely because of some unknown, internal factor that has nothing to do with you."

Fluttershy looked away. "I don't think so. Because... she said she was going to the Crystal Empire. That's where Cadence lives, and Cadence can... um. She can tell when ponies are... in love."

"I see. Yes." Moon Dancer looked at the floor for a moment. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed her mouth again. Finally, she said, "Indeed."

"Hey." Fluttershy lifted Moon Dancer's chin to look into her eyes. "Please don't get scared. I love you. Not Twilight. I mean... I do love Twilight, just not... oh, you know what I mean."

Moon Dancer chuckled, then leaned forward and kissed Fluttershy briefly. "Yeah. I know. And I trust you."

Fluttershy nodded. "Do you... trust Twilight, too?" she asked hesitantly. "I think I decided that I do. I think... I think she did something wrong, but she didn't mean to hurt anypony, and I can forgive her."

Moon Dancer was quiet for a long time. Finally, she looked up and, as sincerely as she could, she said, "I do trust Twilight."

Fluttershy released a breath she was holding. She smiled softly. "No matter what happens tomorrow, it won't be my worst birthday ever. Because it can't be worse than the time I got thrown into a cage with six porcupines."

Moon Dancer gaped. "You what?"

"Well, that circus was kidnapping those poor porcupines and locking them up!" Fluttershy exclaimed, stomping her hoof. "They didn't even know how to take care of them! So Applejack and I snuck in and... well, it worked out eventually. But I had to swordfight a clown with a porcupine quill."

Moon Dancer simply stared at her special somepony in wonder. "I think I can't possibly be any more in love with you," she breathed, "and then I hear you dueled an evil clown."

"Oh! I mean." Fluttershy blushed. "The... the important thing is, the porcupines were safe."

Moon Dancer leaned against her special somepony, smiling bittersweetly. "Tomorrow's gonna suck," she said. "But later tomorrow will be okay. And then tomorrow night will be great. That's what I think."

Fluttershy exhaled gratefully. "Love you."

"I love you, too."

They sat together, warm and anxious.

Shining Armor always had a joke: It was a good thing Twilight was so talented at magic, because if she was just slightly worse, her cutie mark would have ended up symbolizing her amazing ability to be anxious. She could worry intently and then, without a break, worry about how much she had been worrying. She was able to maintain a high level of fretting hours after most ponies would have keeled over with exhaustion.

He did not make any jokes when he saw the state she was in as she got off the train. Instead, he just frowned and hugged her. "Oh, Twily," he said.

She was in no state to go to the special sibling lunch he had planned, so they went directly to the castle, walking slowly. She looked tired in a way he had never seen before. "So... did something bad happen, or did you do something you think is bad?" he asked.

"The second one," she answered, looking straight ahead.

He nodded. "I thought so. Hope we can help."

"Me too. How's Flurry Heart?"

He smiled. "She's getting a bath from Uncle Butler right now. You'll see her later, but... we figured you'd want to talk first." He hesitated, then decided to go for it. "We were really worried when we got your message. Are you all right?"

She hung her head and kept walking. "Don't know."

That was all they said to each other on the way to the castle.

When they arrived, Cadence was halfway through her salad, surprised to see them back already. She waved cheerfully, flitted over, and embraced Twilight. She was doing a surprisingly good job of hiding her concern over her sister-in-law's state, but Shining Armor could tell she was worried already. She clearly did not want to waste time.

They retired to the living room, comfortable and cluttered. Shining caught Twilight giving a soft smile to one of Flurry Heart's toys lying on a sofa, and he felt his optimism rising. "Okay," he said. "Tell us what happened."

So she did. It was long and detailed and very, very awkward.

When she finished, she was lying on the floor, huddled in mopiness and shame. Shining looked helplessly over at Cadence, who visibly steeled her resolve. "All right," she said so quietly he could barely hear. "We're doing this."

She walked over to Twilight and lay down next to her. "So," she said, "you made a pass at Fluttershy."

Twilight groaned. "Is that what that was?"

"Yes. A... terrible pass, but it was a pass."

Twilight levitated a blanket over and dropped it over her own head. Shining quickly removed it. "C'mon, Twily, we need you talking to us."

Cadence wrapped a wing around her sister-in-law. "We're family, and that means there's no judgment here. You can say anything, and we won't hold it against you."

Twilight kept moping, so Cadence bumped her playfully with her side. "Hey, can I tell you something? I've been waiting to have some version of this talk with you since you were a tiny little foal. I used to daydream about how fun it would be to talk to you about romance and dating when you were old enough."

Twilight sniffled. "Really?"

"You bet! You were going to be a secret weapon for me, actually."

"Secret weapon? What do you mean?"

Cadence smiled brightly. "I imagined you coming to me with these big, complicated, weird situations that I would help you with. Because you were always too smart to put up with anything simple, right? And ponies would praise me all over, 'Oh, Cadence, what an amazing love genius you are!' But they didn't know your secret: You have the most beautiful heart, and so those complicated situations were always going to work out anyway. I wouldn't have to do any magic at all; I was just going to take the credit."

Twilight smiled; it looked genuine. "You're so sneaky."

"I admit it," Cadence said, nodding. She paused slightly. "So... do you think you can really talk to us about this?"

Twilight sighed. "It's hard, though, because I don't even know what I was thinking. I love Fluttershy and Moon Dancer. I love that they're together. I want them to get married and have foals and be little old ladies together. I just couldn't get it out of my head that Moon Dancer and I are the same. We look alike, and we act alike. Because why would..." She looked away, searching for words, then gave up. "I don't know."

Shining Armor took a step forward hesitantly. "Maybe your feelings for Fluttershy just were too strong?" he suggested.

Twilight gazed back at him blankly. "...Feelings for Fluttershy?"

He blinked. "Um, yeah?" He looked to Cadence for help, but she was unreadable. "Usually when you make a pass at somepony, you have feelings for them."

Twilight stared for a moment, then her face morphed into an expression of utter horror. "I have feelings for Fluttershy??"

"Actually," Cadence interjected. "I've... never noticed any signs of love in Twilight towards Fluttershy."

Twilight froze, looking at her with a tiny bit of hope. "You haven't?"

"No. Little things maybe, but nothing that wouldn't fit in to friendship. Nothing like what I saw the night Moon Dancer and Fluttershy met."

Twilight relaxed. "Oh, I'm so relieved. That would make things even worse."

Shining Armor fell to a seated position, utterly perplexed. "Wait. Twily... you don't have feelings for Fluttershy?"

She shook her head. "I guess not."

He blinked. "Are you... attracted to mares at all?"

"I don't think so."

"...Do you even want to date anypony right now?"

"No."

Shining noticed that Cadence did finally seem surprised. "But... Twilight, then what have you been so upset about?"

Twilight cringed and looked away. "I can't," she said finally. "It makes me a bad pony."

Shining Armor frowned. He slowly walked over and lay down on Twilight's other side. "Remember the bake sale?" he asked.

"What?" Cadence asked, confused, but Twilight clearly did remember the bake sale, and it was not a flattering memory.

"When I was in school, my class had a bake sale," Shining explained. "Twilight was really young, you hadn't even met her yet. And our dad was making cookies for me to take to the sale. And Twilight got it into her head that it would be within the realm of possibility for her to put lemon juice in the cookie dough to ruin the cookies."

"I wasn't going to do it!" Twilight defended, still obviously embarrassed about Cadence thinking ill of her.

"Right, of course," Shining said quickly. "She didn't want to put lemon juice in the cookies. She just realized she could. And she was so upset, she ran upstairs and accidentally conjured a big magical storm and our dad had to deal with that. So, the cookies burned, and I didn't have anything to take to the bake sale." He looked at her, hoping his uncontrollable smirk was not visible. "That's what this reminds me of. A demon attacks Equestria, and you fight it off without a problem. But if something that feels bad gets into your head, it's a disaster."

"It is a disaster!" Twilight argued. "That's how it works. I have a bad thought, and the next thing you know, bam, Moon Dancer's a hermit, or Starlight loses her friend, or a safe falls on my head!"

"Twilight." Cadence was fully in babysitter-mode, calming and serene. "Listen. Thoughts can't be bad. They're just your thoughts. You shouldn't act on all your thoughts, and there are some ponies you shouldn't express certain thoughts to, but that's all." She leaned closer. "And we're not those ponies. We're not Fluttershy."

Twilight closed her mouth and was quiet for a long time. Finally she said, very softly, "Why not me?"

She looked up at them with wide, sad eyes and continued, "Fluttershy knew me for years. If I'm like Moon Dancer, then I'm the kind of pony she could be in love with, right? So why not me?"

She was building up steam, getting louder and more anxious. "And that's awful, right? I want Fluttershy to have these pining, unreciprocated feelings for me?" She shook her head, as if reminding herself of something important. "And listen, I get it. Moon Dancer is cooler than me and a better studier than me and she has those sexy smart-pony glasses. But Fluttershy should have felt something, right? In all those years?"

"Love doesn't work that way," Cadence said soothingly.

"I know, but..." Twilight's eyes were red and damp. "I just wanted her to look at me like she looks at Moon Dancer. It's selfish, but I wanted her to like me, so I could feel okay again. But she wouldn't, she just got scared."

"Why were you thinking about this, if you don't even want to date anypony?" Cadence asked gently.

"Before Moon Dancer and Fluttershy got together, friendship was friendship and romance was... this weird, far-off thing. Now it's always there, and... I don't know. It's this whole new thing in my friendships." Twilight looked off to the side, sniffling. "And there's... the other me. The human one. She has a boyfriend. That's what they call special someponies over there. And she's exactly me, but... boys like her."

Shining Armor laughed. His sister and wife both whipped their heads on him in rage and shock, but he couldn't help it. "Oh, come on," he said finally, "are we really supposed to take it seriously that ponies are never going to be attracted to Twilight?"

"She feels how she feels!" Cadence defended.

"I know, and how she feels is valid, but... come on."

Twilight glared at her brother coldly. "You wouldn't understand. You've always been popular."

"You didn't care!" Shining Armor argued, feeling petulant. "Twily, literally the same day you first opened yourself up to other ponies, you got five best friends. I'm not saying romance isn't hard, and I'm not saying how you're feeling isn't important. But you have to realize that you're making up a catastrophe in your own head. As soon as you want to date other ponies, other ponies are going to want to date you, I'm sure of it."

She looked down between her hooves. "Nopony ever has before."

Cadence frowned. "Twilight, it's easy for love to feel impossible. I think you know that you're smart and you're beautiful, and I think you trust that you have a loving heart. But sometimes ponies start thinking love is ineffible, so there must be something ineffibly wrong with them if they can't find it."

"Exactly," Twilight confirmed. "I just have a broken... love... thing." Shining Armor started to speak, but she shoved her hoof against his chin, pressing his mouth closed. "Quiet, you. I know that didn't make any sense. I know there's nothing wrong with me. I just..." She sighed. "I just wish I knew of one pony who liked me like that, just once. So I could stop worrying about it."

She lay her chin on the floor glumly, and they nestled in closer to her.

"Am I gay?" she asked hesitantly.

Shining Armor did not even look at her. "No, probably not. You just said five minutes ago you aren't attracted to mares."

"Oh, right." Twilight sighed. "That's all it takes, huh?" She paused. "But... can you guys anyway...?"

"We'll love you a hundred percent, no matter what you are," Cadence said. "So will your friends. So will your parents. I know for sure."

They were quiet for a long time, and Shining began to feel his sister relaxing. Finally she asked, "What should I do about Fluttershy and Moon Dancer?"

"Apologize," Cadence replied quickly.

"Apologize a lot," Shining Armor added.

"Basically, don't ever stop apologizing," Cadence finished.

Twilight moped. "I really did mess up big this time."

"You did." Cadence tilted her head and looked at Twilight very seriously. "I think they'll forgive you. But you know that we can't promise they'll forgive you, right?"

"Yeah."

They lay quietly for a few moments before Shining noticed the water coming out from under the door. He heard the muffled shouts a second later.

Cadence looked over at him dryly. "What do you think? Magical maelstrom?"

"I think she conjured a sea monster."

Shining Armor stood up when the urgent knocking on the door finally happened. "Want to go see your niece and the kraken she probably just summoned?" he asked. Twilight nodded glumly and stood.

She did not look like she felt good. But she did look like she felt better. She sighed, the first rays of hope beginning to show up in her expression. That was when the tentacle crashed through the wall.

Author's Note

Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of.

Drink!

Starlight was endearingly pleased with herself as she received the line of ridiculous drinks from the bartender, hovering them over to the table where her friends all waited. She turned and trotted over, beaming. "Thanks so much for coming out, girls," she sang. "I'd been wanting to do an after-work happy hour for a while, but things kept coming up!"

Moon Dancer wondered if she should feel anxious about the new social situation, but it was difficult to be intimidated by ponies like Trixie, who was still chucking to herself about a joke she had apparently told several hours ago, and Maud Pie, who stared placidly at nothing. "I've never done one of these before," she said.

Starlight grinned. "It's great! It's too bad Twilight's out of town, but it's nice to hang out without the boss around, huh?"

Moon Dancer looked down at her cocktail, which was bright pink and had some name like Strawberry Dangermouse. "I guess." She took a sip. It was the most alcoholic thing she had ever tasted in her life. She began to worry this was a bad time to have her first after-work happy hour.

Starlight leaned in, concerned and manic. "Hey! You okay there?"

"Yeah," Moon Dancer said, nodding as casually as she could. "I'm distracted because... um, I was going to get Fluttershy's birthday present today, but... I was too busy."

"Left it to the last minute, huh?" Starlight laughed oddly, for no apparent reason. "Don't worry, I know you'll figure something out."

Moon Dancer just looked back at her.

Trixie smirked, elbowing her best friend gently. "Starlight is being weird because she's nervous about being your friend."

Starlight's eyes bulged and she sputtered. "I am not!"

"Yes, she is," Maud said, a very tiny wisp of a smile on her face as she gazed drolly at Moon Dancer.

Starlight took a large swig of her cocktail, seeming to calm herself slightly. "You girls. I see Moon Dancer all the time. We're already friends."

Trixie's grin took on a glowingly mischievous air. "Yes, but you don't hang out without Twilight. She's not part of your little Starlight Club you got going on, here."

Moon Dancer raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Starlight Club?"

"That's not a thing!" Starlight yelped, turning red. "I just..." She sighed, rubbing her eye with a hoof. "Look, I love the whole Cutie Map gang, but my friendships with them are kind of unique. It's just cool to have friends outside of that, that's all." She swigged her cocktail. "It's not a Starlight Club. And now I need another drink already! Thanks a lot, Trixie." She whirled around and marched back over to the bar.

Trixie simpered and leaned over to Moon Dancer. "As president of the Starlight Club, let me officially welcome you into Starlight Club. We think she's trying to recruit her own alternate version of the Elements of Harmony. When she's done, we get our own castle!"

The idea was ludicrous, and Moon Dancer chortled. "So... let me guess, you're her Pinkie and her Rarity?"

They nodded, Maud's face so serious, Moon Dancer's chortle turned into an outright laugh. Starlight returned from the bar, levitating a drink that was exactly the same color she was. "Uh, what's so funny?"

"We're talking about which of the Elements of Harmony we're the opposites of," Moon Dancer replied, feeling an odd burst of social energy. "Well, not opposite, exactly. Like, they're matter and we're antimatter."

"I'm antimatter Pinkie," Maud explained. "She's anti-Rarity."

"Um... okay," Starlight said blankly. "...Why?"

"See, I thought you were Twilight," Trixie said, ignoring her best friend's question. "But Moon Dancer is clearly Twilight. You're... Rarity."

Something felt sour about that to Moon Dancer. She ignored the feeling and took another swig from her cocktail.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were Rarity. Who are you, then?"

"Trixie."

Starlight's eyeroll was magnificent. "I'd be mad at you for making us all look bad in front of Moon Dancer, but this is a pretty fair representation of how things usually are when we hang out." Trixie laughed, and Starlight joined in. They put their hooves around each other's shoulders, laughing together.

"Twilight made a pass at Fluttershy," Moon Dancer said.

Starlight and Trixie stopped laughing; indeed, they stopped moving at all. Moon Dancer looked down at her drink in bewilderment, her mouth hanging open. "I didn't mean to say that," she said. She nudged the drink with her hoof. "Did you make me say that?"

Maud looked straight at her. "Are you all right?" she asked with dull compassion. Moon Dancer simply threw her hooves across her face in embarrassment.

Trixie was less calm. "When did this happen? Is this why she left town?"

Starlight, by contrast, looked like she was the one who had been betrayed. "Twilight..." she murmured. "I can't believe she would..."

"Agh!" Moon Dancer waved her hooves around. "No! I didn't mean to... look, Twilight is..." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to recenter. "I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to say something bad about Twilight behind her back."

Maud leaned closer very slightly. "Are you all right?"

Moon Dancer regarded her for a moment, then felt herself somehow relaxing under her lackadaisical stare. "I'm fine. Fluttershy is fine. We don't know what Twilight could have been thinking, but we trust her. Really. We trust that there's an explanation for what happened, and we'll work it out when she gets back."

Starlight seemed relieved. "You're not mad at her?"

"Oh, I'm barbarically infuriated with her," Moon Dancer replied. "You have no idea." She sighed. "I couldn't really talk about that part with Fluttershy. All of that group, they just... it feels wrong to infringe on their relationships with each other, I dunno. I guess you girls are the only ponies in town I felt like I could bring this up to. I'm sorry I ruined the happy hour."

She jumped, because suddenly, eight shot glasses clanked down onto the table, Trixie's magic dissipating in the air above them. "You didn't ruin anything," Trixie said. "I think this just turned into the happiest hour ever. Drink."

Starlight took a step back, frowning. "Wait, are we just going to bash Twilight? I don't want to..."

"Rule one of Starlight Club Happy Hour: No bashing Twilight!" Trixie announced. "This is about supporting our friend Moon Dancer. Drink!"

Moon Dancer glanced down at the table, but she blinked in surprise to see that two of the shot glasses were already empty.

They looked over at Maud, who peered back at them under hooded eyes. "Let's party," she said.

Moon Dancer had lost track of what Starlight was saying, but she caught back up in time to hear, "Hey, you know who's great? Spike. Spike is just a good little guy."

"Yay Spike!" Moon Dancer agreed.

Trixie's front hooves were up on the table. "Rule seven of Starlight Club Happy Hour!" she announced officially. "Spike is great!" They cheered.

Moon Dancer placed her face against the side of her newest cocktail. The glass was pleasingly cool. "Twilight comment," she said. "Let me know if I break rule number one."

"Go for it."

"Okay." Moon Dancer adjusted her glasses and pointed a hoof up in the air as if she was asking a question at an academic conference. "Occasionally, just a little bit, I feel like Twilight still... looks down on me a tiny smidge iota. Like a part of her still sees me as the weirdo, antisocial kid from school. Just an eensy jot whit dab mite speck skosh."

"You should talk to her about it!" Starlight threw her hoof around Moon Dancer's shoulders, leaning in to share her wisdom. "Honesty is important in friendships. But. Listen. I know about friendships."

"Yes?"

Starlight poked her with her free front hoof, accenting every word: "Don't. Bring. It. Up. Now. Don't fight about two things at once, that never works. Don't pile stuff on."

"Okay." Moon Dancer sighed, gleefully morose. "Twilight's the best. I don't want to fight with her."

Starlight nodded smartly, pulling away. "Twilight's great, but Starlight Club is great too, that was rule three."

"Rule two," Maud corrected, swaying very slightly and otherwise showing no sign of intoxication. "Rule three was that if tonight is your first time at Starlight Club, you have to Starlight."

Starlight blinked. "That doesn't make any sense. Who came up with it?"

"It never did. You."

"Oh." Starlight nodded, apparently satisfied. There was a brief pause, and then she burst out: "Personal question! Let me know if I break rule four." (Rule four was "Don't make Moon Dancer freak out.")

"Continue."

"Okay." Starlight tilted her head and asked Moon Dancer, very seriously, "How gay are you?"

Moon Dancer looked back, equally serious. "Nine."

"Nine?" Starlight tilted her head the other way, confused. "Nine... uh, I don't understand, what scale are you using?"

"Gays."

"You're... nine gays."

"Yes."

"I'm seven gays!" Trixie interjected happily. "That might sound like less, but it's not. In reality, seven is the ideal amount of gays."

Starlight blinked languidly, then frowned. "You guys are making fun of me."

"Little bit," Moon Dancer replied, smirking.

Starlight sat on her haunches, pouting, and took a drink from her cocktail. "I'm just asking a question. I've never thought about this stuff, gay or straight or whatever."

"I just don't know what you're asking," Moon Dancer said casually, relishing the chance to impart knowledge of any kind. "Be as clear as you can."

"I mean, I don't know," Starlight said, blushing slightly. "I spent my formative years planning to make a zombie village. Um... when did you realize it?"

Moon Dancer rubbed her chin in thought. "I'm not sure, sometime in school. I just treated it like I treat everything: I had these feelings, and they made me curious, so I did some research and figured it out."

Starlight nodded, enthralled. "You realized it by doing research? In a library? Like... sociology textbooks?"

Moon Dancer ignored Trixie's amused grin and Maud's amused nothing. "And psychology, yes. But I'm weird." She sighed. "Okay, uh, let's just get the basics out of the way, all right? Coming out was hard, but supportive friends make a big difference. Sexuality and attraction are very confusing, because they're influenced by a zillion different things and there's a lot of metacognition involved, so all you can do is just go with what feels truest and best. No, I did not have to date a stallion just to 'know for sure.' No, I'm not attracted to all of my mare friends, although my mare friends do all happen to be unusually hot. And yes, we can do it that way, but it doesn't work very well."

Starlight pressed her hooves up against her mouth like she was witnessing something her parents would disapprove of her for seeing. "Thank you," she whispered. "This is... all embarrassing to talk about, most of the time."

"I know," Moon Dancer replied, though she could not be angry at someone acting so childlike. "Starlight, why are you asking about all this, really?"

Starlight looked away sheepishly. "It's just... I don't think I reacted very well when I found out about Fluttershy or, um, Trixie. I want to be better if I end up needing to be there for Twilight, too."

Trixie, with an uncharacteristic frown, put her hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "I told you, you were fine, Starlight."

"Yeah, I mean." Starlight looked away, blushing, then she suddenly reared back up in excitement. "Also! Sometimes? Sometimes, I..." She squeezed her eyes shut and blurted: "Sometimes I think Countess Coloratura is really sexy!" She squealed and hopped in place. "I said it! I can't believe I said it!"

"Yes!" Trixie agreed. "Rule number eight! Countess Coloratura is..."

"Objection." Maud held up a hoof. "I think she tries too hard."

Starlight gasped. "Tries too hard?? That's... how dare you!"

"I call it like I see it."

"Girls," Trixie interrupted, "Objection noted, Maud. Starlight Club Suggestion 1a: Countess Coloratura is sexy. Starlight Club Suggestion 1b: See objection filed by Treasurer Pie."

This appeared to satisfy everypony, but after only a few seconds, Moon Dancer noticed Starlight seemed a little nervous again. "You okay?"

Starlight looked away. "Um... you said your friends were hot?"

"Yep." Moon Dancer took a sip of cocktail. "Super hot."

Starlight glanced awkwardly around the bar, then back at Moon Dancer. "...who?"

Moon Dancer felt her face and neck heating up. "Who... do I think is hot?"

"Yeah. Like, especially. Besides Fluttershy, she's too easy."

"Um." Moon Dancer felt unexpectedly bashful about this line of questioning. She felt completely unable to speak for a moment.

"You don't have to answer just because Starlight asks," Maud said.

Moon Dancer snapped back to reality. "No, it's okay." She shook her head to clear the fog. "Um, well... do you know my friend Minuette? In Canterlot? And... I don't know. Rarity, I guess. Really, all of them." She noticed the anxious expression on Starlight's face and suddenly realized why she was being asked these questions. She relaxed. "Starlight, you're included in my friend group, too. You're super hot, I promise."

Starlight blushed incredibly. "Toldja," Trixie said.

Moon Dancer grinned, beginning to fill back up with confidence. "You're not my type," she said, "but I a little bit suspect that Fluttershy thinks you're attractive."

Starlight literally gasped. Then she got the hiccups. "Reall--hic. Really?"

"I don't know for sure, but I get that feeling. And..." She lowered her voice. "I've been told something that isn't a secret, but I'm not sure anypony at this table knows. For about a month there, Fluttershy had a pretty big crush... on Maud."

The other occupants of the table gaped at Maud, who did not change her facial expression even slightly. "I feel very flattered," she said.

Trixie raised her hoof in the air. "Oh, do me next, do me! Who has a secret crush on me?"

Moon Dancer smiled. "Oh, Trixie. The whole world has a crush on you."

Trixie laughed boisterously. "Indeed they do!"

After her laughter died down, there was a moment of quiet, and that was all it took for Moon Dancer's drunkenness to begin to shift from bright to morose. She sighed and put her head down on the table.

"I think Moon Dancer is going to talk about her feelings," Maud announced, but it was impossible to tell what she thought about that.

Trixie flopped against Starlight. "Oh yeah? Lay it on us, Good Friend."

Moon Dancer chewed her cheek and cast her eyes to a corner of the room. "Am I just a failed clone of Twilight?"

Starlight seemed almost offended by the question. "What? What are you talking about? Hic"

"I don't know." Moon Dancer closed her eyes. "All through school, there was a part of me that... I guess, I always felt like we were exactly the same, but she was better."

"My dear," Trixie said, smirking, "Twilight Sparkle insecurity isn't exactly a rare condition."

"It isn't?"

In response, Starlight and Trixie just glanced at each other and then back at Moon Dancer. "Hic"

Moon Dancer sighed. "I guess," she said, though she did not actually feel any better. "Maud?"

"Moon Dancer?"

"Tell me a story about rocks, please?"

"All right." Moon Dancer closed her eyes again as Maud began her oration. "Once upon a time, there was a large piece of basaltic rock that broke off from a larger mass created by upswelling mantle from oceanic transform faults. Erosion shaped this rock into an unusually rounded, smooth shape."

Moon Dancer felt herself relaxing. Everything drifted away except Maud's voice: "...came to rest against a volcanic island, itself composed primarily of basalt..." And she fell asleep.

Author's Note

Let's drink, drink, this town is so great.

Oh You Did

Fluttershy missed this.

She hugged her math textbook to her chest and listened intently to Rarity describing one of the opposing teams' soccer uniforms from earlier in the season. They were jarring and gaudy, she argued, especially in contrast to the green grass of the soccer field.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she led her friends across the school parking lot. "Oh, come on," she said, "that stuff doesn't matter. That game was awesome because of our comeback! Remember?"

"That's what I'm saying," Rarity replied, appearing honestly surprised about being misinterpreted. "Of course, I don't know what it's like to play a team sport, but uniforms aren't just a matter of looking stylish! They define a team. They symbolize cohesiveness and unity! The school should know that will have an effect on teamwork."

Rainbow scratched the back of her head. "I don't know, that's a stretch. What do you think, Fluttershy?"

The three of them as a group was slightly strange; there was practically nothing they had in common but their own friendships with one another. But there were no two people in the world that made her feel safer (except when they didn't make her feel safe at all, but Fluttershy didn't think about that).

"It makes sense to me," Fluttershy replied. "Don't you always say how important it is to feel like a team?"

"Yeah, but uniforms?" Rainbow shrugged. "I like looking awesome out there, but I don't think they make us play better."

"Color does surprising things, my dear," Rarity said. "Imagine you looked across the field, and everyone you had to pass the ball to was wearing fushcia. Or worse: chartreuse!"

"I'm pretty happy not knowing what those words mean," Rainbow said, apparently finished with the portion of her afternoon she was willing to spend discussing clothes. She tossed her bookbag through the open window of her car and stretched her shoulders. "Hey, you girls hungry? I got some time before practice, and I could use some fruit or something."

Fluttershy nodded happily. She had the whole Friday afternoon free; Weeping Willow was busy at his job, and she had no volunteering or extracurriculars. And it was her birthday tomorrow! She felt young and energized, and she wondered why she never spent time like this anymore. Then she glanced over at her friends, who looked delighted and surprised that she was joining them, and she stopped wondering.

Fluttershy took the back seat. It was cluttered in a way that was comfortably distinctive of Rainbow Dash. Rarity almost certainly wanted to complain, but as Rainbow turned the engine and backed out of her parking space, there was just a pleasant silence in the car.

"Whoa!" Rainbow suddenly bellowed as she drove past the straggling students languidly walking around the school premises. She already had the car turned halfway out into the road, so she kept going, but something had distracted her. "Did you guys see that??"

"Rainbow, please watch the road," Rarity said. "What was it?"

Rainbow laughed. "Okay, so I might be wrong, but I seriously think I just saw Wallflower Blush holding hands... with Trixie."

Rarity turned, though the school was far behind them. "Really?"

"Yup! Oh man, that relationship is going to last about five seconds."

"Sometimes opposites attract," Rarity pointed out. "And they're both very pretty. Though... ah, yes, I can't particularly see them staying together long as a couple."

There was a brief, heavy pause, during which Fluttershy failed to keep from noticing Rainbow Dash glancing at her in the rearview mirror. "Hey, Fluttershy," Rainbow said finally, stopping at a red light, "what do you think about it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Fluttershy answered, which was all she could think to say.

"It's a pretty weird couple," Rainbow continued, eyes boring into Fluttershy through the mirror. "I didn't even know they were lesbians or whatever."

Rarity's head whipped to Rainbow in alarm, which Fluttershy noted as a strange way to react. What was alarming about that? This was an entirely mundane conversation about entirely harmless things. The light turned green, and Rainbow accelerated.

Rarity seemed to recover, and she gave an enormous, dazzling smile. "Yes, well, gossip can be dangerous, so I think perhaps we should not talk about this."

Rainbow was driving slightly faster than the speed limit. "When else will we get the chance to? We barely ever even see, um, Trixie anymore."

Rarity glanced around the car uncertainly. "Well. Maybe." Her eyes fell on Fluttershy, and her face settled into a hesitant, encouraging expression. "...I, well. I think it's mostly important just that everyone knows their friends will love and support them, no matter what."

Fluttershy blinked vapidly. She wanted to say, "I have a boyfriend," but realized that would be a strange non sequitur. Instead, she just looked around the car. She noticed that one of Rainbow Dash's sports bras was lying on the seat next to her. She began to feel nervous.

"Yeah, but that sounds super mushy," Rainbow said, staring straight ahead at the road. "It doesn't have to be mushy. It can just not be a big deal at all."

"Oh, of course!" Rarity said, touching Rainbow's arm lightly. "Exactly, darling. Whatever is easiest. Er. For Trixie."

Rarity's fingertips daintily brushed Rainbow's arm, like weightless shadows or cat whiskers. They lithely wafted down across the blue skin, then came to a rest, perched gently against the elbow. "I have a boyfriend," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow and Rarity looked at each other nervously. "Yeah," Rainbow said, then gave a helpless shrug to her passenger.

Maybe Rainbow and Rarity were trying to come out to her? That thought filled her with anger for some reason, so she said again, louder, "I have a boyfriend." She thought it might make them mad, and making them mad sounded good at the moment.

Rarity laughed, fakely and half-heartedly. "Yes. Yes, darling, how is that going?"

"Please don't change the subject," Fluttershy muttered crossly.

Rarity and Rainbow glanced at each other with increasing concern. "All right..."

"I knew some gay crows once," Fluttershy stated. "Two boy crows. And crows mate for life, too."

"Rarity, I think she might have gone insane," Rainbow said, voice tinged with worry.

"The other crows accepted them," Fluttershy said. "That's all I know about gay anything. Crows are very nice about it. Isn't that nice? I think it's nice. I have a boyfriend."

Rarity turned around in her seat. She reached forward to reassuringly place her hand on Fluttershy's leg, but she stopped before going through with it. "Darling. Please stay with us."

Fluttershy wondered why she was so light-headed, but then she realized she had not inhaled for at least a full minute. She gasped in air and panted for a few moments. Finally, she said, "Gregory and Walter... that was their names. The other crows would always caw for them. Crows are very smart. Rainbow, I think I'd like to get out of the car now, please."

Rainbow hesitated. "Uh, what?"

Fluttershy was near tears. "Rainbow, please pull over and let me out."

Luckily, Rainbow did as she asked. Fluttershy sat in the back of the car, feeling shivery and cold. She stared at her lap for a moment, then she looked up at her two friends, who were gaping back with heartbroken, worried expressions. "I'm not," she said. Then she opened the door and ran from the car.

She was only a few steps away and already fully in tears when she heard the clanking noises. She turned.

Squirrels, in the nearby trees, were pelting Rainbow's car with acorns. They chittered angrily, apparently disliking the state Fluttershy was in, and they were taking it out on the assumed instigators. Rainbow had her head sticking out of her sun roof. "Hey, knock it off!" she yelled, shaking a fist at the trees. "I said, knock it o...OW!" She rubbed the acorn-sized welt on her face.

Fluttershy ran forward in alarm. "Stop!" she called to the squirrels. "Please! They didn't mean any harm! They were trying to help!"

The clanking sounds stopped as the squirrels withdrew. Fluttershy stood, quavering and dissipated. Two sets of caring, despondent eyes looked back at her from the car. She thought she saw a small speck of blood on Rainbow's cheek.

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said. "I tried to keep it from hurting anyone, but..." She ran out of words. She ran.

Sunset took a deep breath. It was far too early in the morning for this. "When?"

Rarity looked back at her with worry. Sunset noted with some relief that it was enough worry that Rarity did not see fit to comment on her robe, boxers, and her T-shirt that said 'Unicorns rule!' on it. "Yesterday afternoon."

Sunset sighed. "Okay. Come in."

Rarity stepped into the apartment, still looking fabulous despite the apparently dire situation. Sunset closed the door behind her friend and slogged to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Oh, yes please, darling, I barely slept a wink all night."

Sunset poured them each a mug of coffee and handed Rarity's over. She sipped her own thoughtfully. Finally, she said, "Who's we?"

"Rainbow and I," Rarity answered, stirring her coffee idly. "We spoke to her and we tried to very gently offer support, and... we may have gone too far in our references to her sexuality. She ran off, and squirrels attacked us. It was a whole thing."

Sunset shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. "Why couldn't you wait? We were all going to come up with a plan."

"I couldn't wait anymore," Rarity replied with more sharpness Sunset had ever heard in her voice. "And I feel terrible she was so upset, but I won't apologize for trying to talk about it, either. Fluttershy is too wonderful to hide away. Not when she so clearly wants people to know about her."

"Rarity..." Sunset pressed her fingers against her forehead and took a deep breath. "Look, you're not wrong, but I really wish you hadn't done that."

Rarity glared, her decorum beginning to fade. "Well, I had to do something, unlike some people! You asked us all to wait while you came up with some grand plan, but nothing happened!"

Sunset was surprised to find that she did not feel anger in response to Rarity's accusations. The feeling she felt instead was not new for her, but she had never been able to name it. It was a wilting, dry, unraveling feeling. "I know," she said softly. "I tried."

"I don't understand," Rarity declared. "You are normally so confident. Why are you like this? Do you not want Fluttershy to be out of the closet?"

Sunset looked away. "I do! But... we need to protect her too, right?"

"Fluttershy is stronger than she looks."

"I know!" Sunset hugged herself softly. "Believe me, I know. But... think about it."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

Sunset sighed. "If she had been out two years ago... I would have used it."

"Used it to... oh." Rarity paused, her body relaxing slightly. "Sunset, none of us blames you any more."

Sunset did not reply. She just sipped her coffee and found herself staring into the cup.

"Now now, no self-pity," Rarity snapped. "What's done is done. The question is what to do now."

Sunset nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath. " Okay. What are we doing now?"

"Rainbow is telling Pinkie. We ran in to Twilight last night and told her, and, ah, we asked if she would tell Applejack this morning. We need to get organized."

"Organized for what? Are you planning something?"

"The time for plans has passed." Rarity's eyes were steely but gleaming. "There is no choice now but to confront her." Sunset began to argue, but Rarity pointed a finger harshly and immediately interrupted, "No no! You know as well as I do that it's true." Her eyelids drooped slightly. "If necessary, I will fully take the blame for what's happened. I'm the one who crossed the line and put her in this position. If she can't forgive me, then... then very well, I'll accept that."

"Rarity, we can't make you..."

"I don't care," Rarity interrupted. "I'm willing to lose her friendship if it means she can live without shame."

Sunset lost the last vestiges of her mopiness watching her friend's increasingly mournful expression. She walked forward and wrapped her arms around Rarity, hugging tightly.

Rarity sniffled, somehow in a completely ladylike manner. "Thank you, darling," she said.

Sunset pulled away, and Rarity, for apparently the first time, noticed her shirt. She froze, looked up to Sunset's face, and then back down to her shirt. 'Unicorns rule!' it continued to display.

Embarrassed, Sunset quickly closed her robe and tied it off. "It's supposed to be ironic!" she defended.

Rarity smiled politely. "Yes, of course, of course." She gave a dignified little laugh and returned to her typically poised self. "Well, in any case, I hope you're ready for a big day."

Sunset frowned. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea to just confront her. I'm on board, I promise. But there's gotta be something we can do to make it easier."

Rarity shrugged, glancing at her phone. "I'm sure we're all open to a clever Sunset stratagem. But we're going to find her and talk to her, no matter what." She looked intently at her friend. "Soon."

Sunset frowned and sipped her coffee. She nodded. "Okay. Soon."

Starlight Glimmer trotted along, simultaneously worried and cheerful. She was worried because there was a problem, but she was cheerful because she had a great idea to fix the problem, and that made her proud of herself. (She had learned that this tendency, though not exactly noble, was generally positive: helping was helping, and there's nothing wrong with feeling good about it.)

She arrived at Fluttershy's cottage and rapped smartly on the door. There was an odd scrambling sound, and after a few moments, Fluttershy opened the door, looking haggard. A hair brush and Angel Bunny were both hanging, tangled up in her mane. "Oh, good morning, Starlight!" Fluttershy said with surprising sweetness given the circumstances.

"Um." Starlight realized she should stop thinking she was done being surprised by this sort of thing. "Good morning, Fluttershy. Is everything... all right?"

"Oh, yes, yes. Just some bunny naughtiness." Fluttershy beckoned Starlight to enter. As she shut the door behind them, she turned, giving Starlight a good view of Angel's face. Indeed, he looked sour but unperturbed.

"Uh, well... oh, happy birthday!" Fluttershy smiled bashfully in reply, and Starlight continued, "Are you looking forward to your party tonight?"

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. "Yes, but... I have some things I need to do today first. Twilight, Moon Dancer, and I need to... talk."

"I know, Moon Dancer told me," Sarlight said, before immediately realizing that maybe she should not have said that.

Luckily, Fluttershy just looked back at her with wistful anxiety. "I'm not really worried it won't end well. But... it's going to be hard while we do it."

"Oh yeah, I get it!" Starlight agreed. "But I totally believe in you three. Last night, Moon Dancer was talking all about how she cares about Twilight and wants things to go well." She grimaced slightly. "Uh, I think that was before we all started debating how sexy Countess Coloratura is. We... kind of overdid it."

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, still seeming anxious but also a tiny bit amused. "Oh?"

"Yeahhhh. Moon Dancer ended up staying at the castle overnight. But it was really great to get closer to her." Fluttershy smiled warmly, and Starlight walked closer, proud of herself for identifying another problem to fix. "Hey, want me to help you out, there?"

Fluttershy nodded gratefully and turned around. Starlight delicately pulled at the hairbrush with her magic, carefully and slowly disentangling it. After a few moments of silence, she said, "Hey... I don't know of any not awkward way to say this, but I was kind of worried recently that I haven't supported you very well about being... um. Gay." Fluttershy, with her back turned, did not have a readable reaction. However, Angel, dangling diagonally, crossed his paws over his chest and watched Starlight with interested suspicion.

"You never really talk about it, so I guess I kind of assumed it wasn't a big deal," Starlight said. "But I bet there's stuff about it that's hard, and... I mean. Just, if you think of things I could be doing, or not doing, let me know sometime, okay?" She pulled the brush out and carefully untangled Angel, who regarded her warily the entire time she levitated him to the ground.

She was relieved when Fluttershy turned around to face her, looking beatific and grateful. "Thank you, Starlight. That means a lot. I can't think of anything right now, but I'll tell you if I do."

Starlight nodded, then grinned. "Speaking of which, I need to tell you why I came here. Someone might need your help. I know today's a big day, but I kind of thought it'd be better than sitting around worrying before Twilight comes back, anyway."

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. "Why me?"

"Because you're the perfect pony to do it," Starlight said. She reached with her magic into her saddlebag and pulled out a large, bound book. "Twilight asked me to correspond with Sunset while she was gone, and it's a good thing she did, because look what I got this morning." She opened the book to its most recent message and held it up for Fluttershy to read.

hi, Twilight. Im sorry to bother you, but something happned and Fluttershy is very very upset. ithink, if someone came over from your world, it would be just what she needed. it needs to be today. i will wait by the portal.

Fluttershy's mouth hung open. "You... you think I should go... to another dimension?"

"No pony or human knows how she feels any better than you could," Starlight said encouragingly. "The human you... she has good friends over there, but you're the one who can really help."

Fluttershy stared at the ground in thought. Finally, she said, "Is she really a lot like me?"

"Yeah, but she's young. I liked her a lot, but she felt like your little sister."

Fluttershy paused, then she nodded. "All right. I'll do it."

Starlight smiled with relief. "You will?"

"Yes. I think her friends will be able to help her the most, but I want to do what I can, too." She looked up at Starlight hesitantly. "Um, is it weird to only have two legs?"

"It's the weirdest thing ever!"

Fluttershy gulped. She turned to Angel, giving him a tender look. "I have to go help someone. Are you all right making sure all the critters around the house get their breakfast?"

Angel frowned, but after a moment he nodded. He held up a birthday candle and tilted his head in questioning.

"Oh, I'll be back in time for my party, don't worry."

Angel put his paws on his hips and glared at her in frustration. He pointed more elaborately at the candle.

"Oh." Fluttershy blushed. "Um, yes, it will be a carrot cake tonight." Angel nodded and, satisfied, hopped away.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Is he always so self-centered?"

"No," Fluttershy said, flashing an embarrassed grin. "The truth is... I don't like it when things are stressful, and everypony acts nice to me because of it." She realized what she said and shook her head in alarm. "I mean... I certainly appreciate it! And sometimes I really need it! But... it makes it seem like everything's so brittle and dangerous. Angel knows that what helps most, when I'm worried, is to act like himself, even if that's kind of troublesome. It makes me feel like things are normal."

Starlight frowned. "So... the ways I've acted have been wrong?"

"Oh, no!" Fluttershy surprised herself by forming a genuine, reassuring smile for her friend. "It's just a way that Angel understands me that no one else does. The way you've acted has been really helpful, too! Actually... coming to ask me to help someone who needs it is making me feel a lot less worried."

Starlight smiled back. She picked up the magic journal and turned towards the door. "Yay," she said, half-facetiously, "I helped!"

Fluttershy smiled wider. "Yay," she said, "I can help, too."

That was when Starlight was hit in the face with a broom. "Hey!" She turned just in time to see Angel Bunny using the broom to literally shoo them both out the door. When he had jostled them outside, he slammed the door behind them.

Starlight blinked. "Okayyyy, I guess it was time to go." She looked back at Fluttershy with confusion. "And it really makes you feel better, when he acts like that?"

Fluttershy giggled nervously. "Well, at least it doesn't make me feel worse."

Moon Dancer opened one eyelid and immediately regretted it. She closed her eye and then tried the other eyelid. That one wasn't any better.

She closed her eyes and cast what she hoped was something approaching a hangover-cure spell. A small popping noise resounded through the room, and she felt a bit better. However, she also felt a soft weight on her head. She reached up and felt a soft, curly mass over her mane.

She sighed: clown wig. Every time she messed up a spell, she conjured that stupid clown wig. At least Minuette wasn't around to make fun of her about it.

She groped around with her magic until she felt something glasses-shaped and slid them onto her face. She forced her eyes open and looked around. She did not recognize the room, but from the look of the walls, she was in the castle. She was lying in a very comfortable bed, very comfortable blankets all around her. Knick-knacks lay everywhere, books and kites and clothes. There was a mirror on one of the walls, and in the frame there were photos: Trixie, Maud, Twilight, Fluttershy.

Moon Dancer blinked. She was in Starlight's bedroom.

Luckily, she noticed the note on the desk quickly and felt relieved, partly because it presumably explained how she got there, and partly because of the tepid cup of coffee next to it.

She staggered to her feet and swallowed the entire cup in one gulp. Refreshed and grateful, she turned her attention to the flowery and feminine quill writing that was unmistakably Starlight's: --Good morning! We figured it was easiest just to take you back to the castle. Hope you don't mind! Don't worry about me, I'm crashing in a guest bedroom. Just find me or Spike when you're up!

Moon Dancer could not help smiling at the earnest dorkiness of a pony she apparently could confidently think of as her friend. She felt oddly strong. She was hungover, wearing a clown wig, had not yet bought her special somepony a present for her party that was fewer than eighteen hours away, and had to confront her best friend about betraying her, but things were all right. She could do it.

A knock interrupted her reverie. She set the note down and went to the door; Starlight must have heard her bumping around. She pulled open the door and began to say something, but then completely froze.

Twilight Sparkle stared back at her, an expression of utter horror across her face.

They both just stood there for a very long time. Finally, Twilight said, with rasping surprise, "Uh, you're not Starlight."

Moon Dancer remembered how angry she was at the pony in front of her. Her eyes narrowed to a glare. "I'm not Starlight, no."

"You're wearing a clown wig."

Moon Dancer did not reply.

Twilight tried an innocent grin. "Oh well, um, I just wanted to tell her I was back. Big... emergency at the Crystal Empire, but..."

"Twilight. Don't."

Twilight closed her mouth. She hung her head. "I didn't want to do this yet," she muttered. "I'm not ready. I wanted to think first."

Despite herself, Moon Dancer softened. "Look. Okay, I'm not ready to be rational, either. I just woke up. And I'm not doing this without Fluttershy. So I'll just go, and we can meet back here in an hour."

Twilight nodded, relief clear on her face. Moon Dancer suspected Twilight had no idea how frantically she was keeping it together, but she did her best to just not think about it.

She needed time alone to collect her thoughts and keep from completely exploding. She trotted past the pony she saw as a best friend, wishing she had the concentration to just teleport away. If she could just get away and be by herself, things would be fine. She just needed a minute.

But Twilight called after her. "Wait."

Moon Dancer looked back at Twilight's guilt-stained face, willing herself to keep the walls up. "Twilight. Please. I can't do this right now."

Twilight shrunk back. "Okay." Moon Dancer turned to walk away, but Twilight apparently could not help herself, because she said, softly and miserably, "Just... I'm sorry."

And that was all it took. "You're sorry."

"Yes. I didn't mean..."

"You didn't mean." Moon Dancer turned on Twilight. "You didn't mean to what, Twilight? Try to steal Fluttershy from me?"

Twilight recoiled, ears flat on her head. "I didn't! I just..."

"It must have felt really unfair, huh?"

"What?" Twilight blinked, nonplussed. "What was unfair?"

"I can't imagine how you made sense of it," Moon Dancer kept going, slowly circling around Twilight as she spoke. "There's this pony you were always better than, all through school. Some bookworm you could always look down on. But she got a special somepony before you did."

Twilight shook her head, breaths becoming ragged. "I never... I never looked down on you..."

"It must have made you feel crazy, right?" Moon Dancer peered down at Twilight over the rims over her glasses. She stood tall and terrifying. "It's so unjust. You could always count on 'Phew, I'm better than Moon Dancer,' but not with this."

Twilight was cringing like there was a monster in the room. "No, that's not true," she stammered. "I swear, I never felt that way!"

"But you're a problem-solver, right? That's Twilight Sparkle. So you just deserved Fluttershy, of course, because you're the great alicorn princess."

"No! I talked to Cadence. I don't have any feelings for Fluttershy! I was just..."

"Wait." Moon Dancer had not even said that word loudly, but the rage in her voice stopped Twilight cold. "You don't even like her. You'll try to take her, and you don't even like her." Moon Dancer squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, the anger was causing almost physical pain. "Just... why? To put me in my place? To make sure I know how little I matter?"

"I didn't mean... Moon Dancer, you matter!"

"Apparently I don't!" Moon Dancer screeched. She took a moment to get herself back down to the level of quiet fury she was at before and continued. "Apparently I don't, because look at you. The perfect friend can just forget about me and abandon me and betray me and nothing happens, she's still Princess of Friendship, still just chosen and special."

Tears were streaming down Twilight's face. "I know I do bad things. I just..."

"Just what, Twilight?" Moon Dancer felt like she was being encased in ice; rigid and cold and strong. "Just 'don't blame me, I deserve everything; I deserve Fluttershy, I deserve the Magic of Friendship.'"

"You... in school, you were my best friend..."

"Your best friend," Moon Dancer sneered, voice dripping with contempt. "And you're still doing it. You think you can do it forever, just string me along and wreck my life as many times as you want." She stood over Twilight, disgust practically radiating from her like a halo. "It's what you always do."

Twilight was lying on the floor, heaving with sobs and covering her face with her hooves. "Please," she whined. "Please stop. I'm sorry."

Seeing her so pathetic only fueled Moon Dancer's anger, but before she could say anything else, she heard, "Twilight!" and footsteps coming down the hall. She looked and saw Spike running towards them, alarmed.

He put his claw on Twilight's shuddering form and looked up at Moon Dancer in bewilderment. "What's going on?"

"Just the Magic of Friendship," Moon Dancer said. She adjusted her clown wig and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Just before the smoke consumed her, she saw Twilight look up at her with tear-filled, heartbroken eyes, and that was when she started to cry, too.

Author's Note

Don't accidentally do things you'll later regret; oh no, you did.
Some things can't be taken back; don't do them. Too late, you did.

I Left My Body

Fluttershy sat alone, Weeping Willow sitting next to her. He was talking about something she could barely listen to... a video game, maybe? She clenched and unclenched her hands. She liked to think he knew she was upset, but she did not want to pay enough attention to find out for sure.

It had been over twelve hours since the car ride. It was now her birthday. She had not slept.

They knew. Even though there was nothing to know, they knew.

She watched him talk. His expression was smug and harsh as always, but there was something different, too, an agitation. He looked distracted. She wondered if it was empathy, if he knew her well enough to feel her distress.

It was inevitable they would end up knowing all that nothing there was to know. It is very difficult to hide nothing, after all. They were her friends; they cared about her. They were concerned and kind and thoughtful and motivated to help her. Fluttershy felt dizzy.

Things had completely spun out of control weeks ago. Everything had been fine, and then a few innocent touches and kind smiles and it was like physics exploded. She got lost, and that was good, because if everything was just jumbled and confusing, then nothing had to be true.

Bizarrely, the only constant she'd had was Weeping. She turned her attention back to him; his yammering was stangely comforting.

He was like a rat or an iguana... one of those pets barely anyone appreciates. He had rescued her, in a way. He asked her out at the perfect time, and she suddenly felt terribly guilty for not showing him how much she appreciated that, even if he didn't mean it.

She stood, feeling completely unable to access her own thoughts, and grabbed him by the shoulders. He stopped talking and looked at her in surprise. "Flutters--"

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

The kiss felt like a handful of dead shrimp being rubbed against the bottom half of her face. His mouth tasted like old milk, and his body left a streak of clamminess behind wherever he touched. Still, she squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as possible, and she kept going.

She was very surprised when she slowly felt herself pushed away. She opened her eyes and saw Weeping staring back at her, oddly unreadable.

"Don't you want to?" she asked very quietly.

He did not answer for a moment, then he snorted. "I just gotta go," he said. "Your birthday surprise, remember? I'll see you later. It's gonna blow your mind." Not looking at her, but still smirking, he grabbed his notebook and quickly left.

Fluttershy fell back against the sofa, bewildered. She felt empty and abandoned and cold.

Blankly, she reached into her pocket, pulled out her phone, and glanced at the screen. Sunset and Twilight had called. Pinkie and Rarity and Applejack had texted her.

They were all concerned about her, and they cared about her so purely, and they were all talking about her behind her back.

She put her phone back in her pocket, stood, and went to try to find them. She had absolutely no idea what she was feeling. She wondered if there was anything to know.

Starlight walked back into the library, scratching her head with a hoof. She was not quite as anxious as Fluttershy thought she should be. "Well, I don't know," Starlight said idly. "I couldn't find Moon Dancer or Spike or Twilight."

Fluttershy looked down at her hooves nervously. "Shouldn't they be here?"

"Oh no, no, it's fine," Starlight replied. "I bet Spike and Moon Dancer are off getting breakfast, and Twilight just isn't back yet. I'll tell you what, right after you go through the mirror, I'll go find Moon Dancer and tell her what you're doing."

Fluttershy froze. "Oh... you're not coming with me?" she asked with alarm. "But you've been there before, and I..."

"Somepony's got to let Moon Dancer know where you are, right?" Starlight asked, her casualness beginning to cross the line from disconcerting to outright nerve-wracking. "Sunset is super-nice, and she's waiting for you."

Fluttershy frowned. She looked at the portal, all built-up like a mechanical monster. "This special somehuman. Do you know what he's like?"

Starlight scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "From what Twilight said, he's... hm. Imagine a cross between Snips and Tirek."

"Oh dear." Fluttershy hesitantly poked a hoof at the portal. "It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Nope! It's weird, though. It gave me a watch, even though I don't wear one as a pony." Starlight walked closer, smiling reassuringly. "It's fine! You'll be there and back in no time. And we'll be able to contact you with the magic journal, if we need to."

Fluttershy hesitated again, mostly just for the sake of hesitating, by this point. She nodded. "Okay," she said very seriously. And then she walked steadily forward.

Fluttershy's mind drifted as she stepped into the mirror and the magic began swirling around her. She had a lot on her mind; her counterpart's situation filled her with a weird, pensive, anxious nostalgia.

Her friends. Her wonderful, not-quite-perfect friends.

Rainbow Dash was a bunny: both wonderful and terrible.

She was the first pony Fluttershy ever told. It was perfect. One of her most treasured memories was that one moment right after she told Dash she was gay, and she forgot for a minute that there was anything weird about it to begin with. She felt supported and loved and trusted... not only was she fine the way she was, but whoever might disagree deserved to be humiliated in a race. But Dash's possessiveness and fear of change made things hard sometimes, too.

Rarity was a cat: cuddly and affectionate and very difficult to read.

Fluttershy had never met such a cosmopolitan, urbane pony as Rarity, so she told her early in their friendship. Rarity acted like she was being entrusted with important, secret knowledge, the kind that could be used to save a kingdom. She was supportive and kind and positive. But... there was a weirdness to things for a while, strange expressions and lingering words and accidentally hurtful comments. The first time Rarity encouraged her to say out loud who she had a crush on (Mayor Mare, who was poised and dignified and just a tiny bit butch) it was a thrilling, terrifying, wonderful moment. Immediately afterwards, Rarity said, "Yes, Mayor Mare is very popular among the stallions in town," and Fluttershy felt small and quiet. Rarity had not said anything like that for a long time, but Fluttershy still remembered.

Pinkie was a parrot: loud and secretly intelligent and always watching.

Fluttershy never told Pinkie, but one day that little pink wonder just bounced up to her and asked her if she'd ever noticed that really super-beautiful, apple-selling earth pony around town, because her name was Applejack and she was Pinkie's really good friend and she had said maybe that she would be really interested in going on a date with Fluttershy. And it was that easy. But... how long had Pinkie known? How had she figured it out? Fluttershy knew she couldn't stop ponies from thinking whatever they were going to think, but... how many of them were thinking THAT before she even told them about it?

Applejack was a basset hound, intuitive and easy-going and stubborn.

Their date was wonderful, though there was absolutely no romantic chemistry between them. It had just felt like two good friends spending a nice evening together, so they became two good friends who liked to spend nice evenings together. But they had argued once. Applejack saw no purpose to talking about her romantic tendencies, much less defining them. That was fine, if it was how she really felt.... but Fluttershy just had a selfish side that wanted a comrade-in-arms. Fluttershy had let the conversation go, still a bit agitated and worried. But, one time, Rarity had made some oblivious statement about Hearts and Hooves Day being about "mares and stallions," and Fluttershy caught Applejack's eye and they shared a brief, silent moment.

Twilight Sparkle was a dragonfly: clever and curious and very, very innocent.

She seemed to be oblivious to the very idea of romance, and when she did think about it, it was either magical theory straight out of a graduate-level textbook, or princesses getting married in beautiful dresses; nothing in-between. Fluttershy was not sure if Twilight just assumed everypony was straight, or if she didn't realize anypony was anything.

These were wonderful, wonderful ponies who loved her and wanted the best for her. She was so grateful to have them.. But even with all this support, things were never perfect, and some things were still hard.

But it didn't feel good to complain about the imperfection of ponies you knew you were lucky to have.

It was bothersome. Things were complicated in a very Fluttershy kind of way. Other ponies often did not understand how twisted up things could get in her head (thought critters often did, somehow), so she assumed humans would be the same way. The best thing she could do for her counterpart was just to sit there and listen and understand.

She looked down and saw her front hooves had turned into odd, raccoon-like grabbies, and she wondered how she could possibly understand a creature that walked around all day with such weird-looking things. But, she also noted that Starlight had been right: the portal dressed her up, and she was wearing a cute little skirt and top, which was a nice surprise.

She emerged from the portal rather suddenly, feeling cloddy and oafish, and she twirled and stumbled and fell back onto her behind. She had been nervous about going alone, but a small spark of pride within her felt relieved that Starlight was not there to see her so graceless. The pride turned into embarrassment when she realized that Starlight's very smart, cool, and comfortably-bipedal friend Sunset was somewhere nearby and had doubtlessly seen her fall.

She looked around. There was a big building nearby, windows dark, clearly closed-up for the day. There was the statue she had fallen out of, and an empty parking lot. Besides that: nothing. No one was there.

"Um... Sunset... Shimmer?" she called, too quietly to be heard anyway. There was a rustling sound from somewhere to her side. She quickly tried to turn to look, but got confused with her ungainly body and fell over sideways. The rustling stopped, and things were still again.

She struggled to her... feet... as quickly as she could. Once she was upright, she realized it was easier than she'd thought to stay that way: her body just seemed to want to balance. She called again, louder, "Sunset Shimmer?" There was nothing. She was alone.

She stood there for a moment, bewildered. She wondered how such a miscommunication had possibly happened, and she felt weak and dumb. Other ponies would know what to do: they'd just go back through the portal or leave to find Sunset somehow, but she was frozen.

That was when the chirping started. A bird flew down in front of her, swooping around and twittering. Then a second came and a third and a fourth, flying in small circles around her head. They seemed happy but confused.

"Oh, hello, darlings," she said, automatically. "Um, please, it's wonderful to meet you, but being here is so overwhelming. Could you try to calm down, please?"

They did not calm down. More and more birds joined them, chittering and singing at her with directed intensity. They swirled and screeched and she began to feel light-headed. But suddenly, a loud, ugly squawk pierced the air. The birds immediately went silent. They drifted out to nearby trees and perched.

Fluttershy blanched. Directly in front of her, regarding her with curiosity and interest, were two, large, black crows.

"Oh... hello," Fluttershy said hesitantly. "Thank you so much for helping them calm down. But... I'm afraid I'm not who any of you think I am."

The crows glanced at one another. They had a quick cawing conversation, and then one of them hopped closer to her and rubbed its head against her leg. The other quickly followed, standing nearby and letting her pat his head softly.

"Oh. Well." She blushed slightly. "Thank you for your hospitality. I really appreciate it."

She noticed that the slightly smaller crow suddenly had a small piece of chalk in his beak. He bent over and jerkingly drew, on the pavement, a stick-figure pony and a question mark.

Fluttershy paused. Crows are very smart. "Oh, yes! I am a pony! And... I'm looking for the human that looks like me?"

The crows cawed at one another again. They both lifted up into the air and slowly flew a few feet off to her right, then landed back on the ground, looking at her expectantly. She haltingly willed her strange body to walk after them.

Starlight Glimmer walked through Ponyville, curious and perky. She had been correct to start her search for Moon Dancer by asking Pinkie Pie, who seemed to have an internal radar displaying the locations of all her friends at any given time. She had told Starlight that Moon Dancer was probably in the shopping district, but "be careful, because something really important is happening." Starlight had asked how Pinkie knew that, and Pinkie replied, "Because twitcha-twitcha boing twitch." Starlight had not pressed further.

Moon Dancer was not difficult to find. The market was fairly busy, typical of a Saturday, but there was a noticeable bubble of solitude surrounding one pony, a subtle and dark aura that appeared to make everypony think twice about walking too close.

Starlight came near and saw the source of the miasma. Moon Dancer sat alone at a small picnic table, very angrily reading a book. Starlight was not sure how it was even possible to angrily read, but Moon Dancer was very definitely doing it.

Starlight hesitantly walked up to her. Moon Dancer looked up, held a bitter glare for exactly one second, and then looked back down at her book.

"Um," Starlight said, very confused. "Rough morning? I... have a hangover cure spell, if you..."

"No." Moon Dancer kept staring down at her book. "I already cast one. Then I cast a hangover causing spell to give myself a hangover again."

"What? Why did you do that?"

"It's what I deserve."

Starlight blinked. Despite their bonding experience, there was a lot she did not understand about this introverted pony before her.

Moon Dancer turned a page in her book. "I talked to Twilight," she said, still reading.

"You did?" Starlight asked, frowning. "How? She's not back yet."

"Yes, she is. I talked to her." Moon Dancer turned another page. "It didn't go well. Hey, you're good at magic, can you give me like a super hangover?"

"What do you mean, it didn't go well?"

Moon Dancer turned another page. She was clearly doing it to pointedly call attention to her book; even she could not have read an entire page so fast. "I mean, I said the cruelest things I could think of, and she cried, and now I don't think we're friends anymore."

"What?" Starlight grabbed the book with her magic and tossed it away. Moon Dancer kept staring at the spot where the book was.

"Ow!" a voice called from a nearby stall. "Hey, who's throwin' books around?!"

"I don't know what's so confusing about it," Moon Dancer said evenly. "I told her she ruined my life, and that she looked down on me, and... I don't remember, something sarcastic about 'the magic of friendship.'" She levitated another book from the ground, opened it, and began reading. "Just stuff I thought would hurt."

Starlight grabbed the new book and tossed it away. "Agh!" the voice yelled. "Seriously, who keeps doin' that?!"

"Why?!" Starlight asked, utterly baffled. "Because she likes Fluttershy? You're fighting over Fluttershy?"

Moon Dancer rolled her eyes and finally looked at the pony before her. "No, she doesn't even like Fluttershy. And Fluttershy's not going to leave me for Twilight, anyway. I just wanted to be mean."

Starlight felt herself sputtering in confusion. "...what? I don't understand. You don't care about her any more because of this?"

"Of course I care about her," Moon Dancer replied, eyes bloodshot. "She's my best friend. I love her. I just was so mad, and... never mind, it's too late. I broke things."

Starlight looked down at the ground for a moment, then very suddenly felt herself consumed with furious energy. "NOPE!" she yelled.

Moon Dancer looked at her, surprised. "What?"

Starlight shook her head madly. "Nope nope nope!"

"What are you--wauugh!" Starlight grabbed Moon Dancer in a cocoon of magic, dragging her into the air above her own head.

"Nope!" Starlight exclaimed, beginning to trot away, Moon Dancer hanging upside-down in the air above her. "You are not doing this! We're going to the castle and you're talking to Twilight!"

"But..."

"NOPE."

Moon Dancer sighed. "I don't want to."

"Too bad! There's a new Friendship Sheriff in town, and it's Sheriff Starlight, and she doesn't let best friendships end because of something dumb like this! And she doesn't let her friends sit and mope when they should be fixing their problems!"

Moon Dancer fidgeted uncomfortably in the cocoon. "It's no use. I just got so mad at her, and I don't even know why."

"Agh!" Starlight stopped walking and drew Moon Dancer downward so she could stare intently into her upside-down eyes. "You got mad because you've been friends forever, and you can't be friends with somepony forever without a bunch of unresolved stuff! You guys have baggage. You guys have little stupid kid baggage, which is the worst kind."

"But..."

"NOPE NOPE!" Starlight bellowed. "I am an expert in stupid little kid baggage, and it is the dumbest thing. These dumb little thoughts you had when you were like eight sit around wrecking things and that's stupid." She started walking again, jerking Moon Dancer along. "You're mad about stuff that doesn't even make sense! You totally know Twilight doesn't look down on you. If anything, she looks up to you! You just were worried about that when you were a little kid, and you never talked about it!"

There was a long pause. Finally, Moon Dancer said, "I don't know if I can face her after everything I said."

"I do!" Starlight replied. "You can! Done!"

Starlight walked in silence for a while, still feeling righteous and strong. "By the way!" she announced, "I looked up a picture of your friend Minuette. You were right! She's really pretty!"

"She's straight, though," Moon Dancer said, sounding confused and dazed.

"So am I!" Starlight barked. "Maybe! I don't know! I'll think about it later!" She trotted along, the castle beginning to come into view.

"I'm scared," Moon Dancer said, very quietly.

Starlight stopped walking. Then she started again, slower. "I know," she said, softly. "That's okay."

There was a long silence. Finally, Starlight heard Moon Dancer say, "Thanks."

Starlight grinned proudly. "Oh," she said, suddenly remembering something important. "Fluttershy's in another dimension, by the way."

"Fluttershy is what now?"

Twilight Sparkle lay on her side, completely cried-out. She felt cold and dry and numb.

She knew she was so lucky to have wonderful friends who loved her (and to be the super-powerful alicorn princess of friendship) but a piece of her had just never been convinced she deserved it. It was a small piece, and it was usually quiet. But Moon Dancer could make it sing arias.

Cerebrally, she recognized there was a contradiction in her thinking. From one perspective, she didn't deserve to be Moon Dancer's friend because she had so cruelly ruined Moon Dancer's life and rendered her sad, weak, and broken. Simultaneously, she didn't deserve to be Moon Dancer's friend because Moon Dancer was ten times cooler and more popular than she was.

But instead of resolving the contradiction, she just settled on feeling both guilty and pathetic at the same time. This was especially useful, because she also got to feel stupid for ignoring a contradiction in her logic.

She could feel one positive emotion, and that was gratitude to Spike. She had popped them both into The Sadness Zone (a pocket dimension simulacrum of her childhood bedroom that she had created for just these types of situations), and there, he had kept the panic from spiraling too much.

Once the anxiety began to ebb, they popped back into the castle and she sent him away to go get Fluttershy. They needed to figure something out. If she and Moon Dancer couldn't be friends anymore, then she needed to know if she was going to lose Fluttershy, too. As an added bonus, she got to be alone and feel sorry for herself for a minute.

Just a minute. Not to linger that way, but just to rest.

She stood and walked mopily through the castle. She assumed Starlight was off getting lunch (and how bizarre, on a day that was such a disaster for her, it'd be so normal to other ponies they'd do something as mundane as get lunch), but the solitude felt right, for the moment. She wandered randomly.

But as she passed by the library, she saw an odd glow coming from inside. She stuck her head into the room and saw that her magic journal lay on the center table, and apparently Sunset had sent her a message. She dumbly walked up to the journal and opened it up to the newest page, vaguely hoping something very depressing was written there.

SPECIAL URGENT MESSAGE SPECIFICALLY TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND NO ONE ELSE

Twilight blinked in surprise.

twilight hello. we need you. just you, twilight sprkale. Fluttershy is very sad. only you can help her. Come to this world as soon as you can.

Twilight sucked in a breath. What could possibly be happening in the human world? She vaguely hesitated, but then she saw the end of the message:

You have to come save her. You, Twilight sparkle.

Twilight filled with energy, purpose, and even a little righteous anger. She knew what to do. There was a place she was needed. There was a problem only she could fix, a problem that wouldn't just linger horribly. She could be the hero. There was someone, somewhere she could make happy.

Almost purely on instinct, she charged into the mirror.

It was not until she already had hands and was stumbling forward onto the concrete that she thought: Wait, how could I possibly be the only one who could help human Fluttershy? That doesn't make any s--

A bright flash of light. The feeling of being trapped. Laughter.

Author's Note

They're gonna tow you if they think you're abandoned. You've got to act like you're not abandoned.

Mammal

Fluttershy drove, feeling numb and empty. She gripped the steering wheel with tense, white hands, gazing blankly out of the windshield. "My, today certainly has been an interesting day," she said out loud to no one.

She drove silently for a bit.

"I suppose it's been more than a day," she announced. "But when you don't sleep, it's all the same day to you!" She dutifully came to a complete stop at an intersection, looked both ways, and then slowly proceeded through. "I wonder what Rainbow and Rarity could have been trying to say to me?"

Her face darkened. "Silly Fluttershy, trying to play the innocence card. That's why everyone thinks you're just like a little kid. Silly, stupid Fluttershy." The suburban street she was on looked like a graveyard, even though the day was bright and warm outside.

Like a cloud passing over the sun, her face went blank again. "I probably shouldn't call myself stupid," she said. "My friends would tell me not to do that."

She squeezed the steering wheel tighter. "My friends also tell me that the tambourine is a really important part of the band, and I'd have to be pretty stupid to believe that."

She gasped in sudden realization. "Oh! Maybe I am stupid! Maybe I'm not weird. Wouldn't that be wonderful? I'm just totally normal, but I'm too stupid to know it!" She smirked. "Pretty smart of you to figure that out, Fluttershy." She was happy for three seconds, then realized the contradiction and went blank again.

She realized she was one and a quarter car lengths away from the car in front of her and not one and a half. She slowed.

"Weeping Willow is not very nice," she said. "I wonder why I'm dating him. I should date a nicer boy."

She successfully kept herself from realizing what that was trying to convince herself against, but she could not keep from realizing how completely unconvincing it was.

Ahead of her, on the sidewalk, she could see a group of teenage girls standing and talking. This was not unusual; it was a nice day and many people were outside. But she noticed because they were some of her best friends in the entire world.

Pinkie, Sunset, Rarity, Rainbow Dash. She drove past them without turning her head.

After a moment, she turned onto a side street. She did a five-point turn in the middle of the road, then drove back the other way.

She drove past her friends again. This time, Rainbow pointed at her car and yelled something. They all looked. Pinkie shrieked.

Fluttershy turned into a cul de sac and came back out, going the other way. Her friends were all shouting to her and waving their hands. She passed them slowly, noting them idly in her peripheral vision, gaze stuck fast on the road in front of her.

"My goodness," Fluttershy said. "I wonder what they want."

She passed them, and then turned into an empty parking lot. She carefully eased her car into a space, turned off the ignition, and got out. She closed the door softly, locked the car, and then insensibly watched her friends run up to her. They seemed excited.

"Fluttershy!" Sunset called. She just stared back at them.

They reached her and stood in a group around her, worried and anxious expressions beginning to turn into awkward ones.

"Fluttershy?" Rarity said very gently. "Are you all right, darling?"

Fluttershy tried to smile but realized she did not know how, so she just opened her mouth. "Hello, Rarity," she said. There was an awkward pause, so she added, "Your cat is named Opalescence."

They did that strange thing where they looked at each other helplessly. Eventually, Sunset took a step forward. "Are you... feeling okay?"

Fluttershy tilted her head innocently. "I don't understand what you mean," she said. "Why would I be burning with all-consuming rage and terror? Goodness, what a strange question, Sunset."

"Fluttershy..." Rarity looked miserable for some reason. "I think we... I... may have hurt you terribly without meaning to. I am so very sorry." She abruptly looked up, locking eyes with Fluttershy in a shockingly intense gaze. "But, now that the door's been opened, I can't just pretend nothing happened. We have to talk about it."

Fluttershy almost said, "Talk about what?" but all of a sudden that seemed like the stupidest thing to say. She heard a thump, and her friends all started backward.

She looked down in surprise. Her right hand was balled in a rock-hard fist, and it rested against the side of her car, right in the divot of a newly formed dent. Her hand hurt.

She looked back up at her friends, grimacing in pain and anger. "Why would you think that about me?" she asked. "Why would you think I would..." She closed her eyes so tight, speckles of light danced across her vision. "It's really not fair. I've always been nice to you, right? I've tried to be. It's not fair you all... think things."

"We don't..." Rarity looked lost, but she recovered somewhat and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes, I think things about you. Things I think are true. And I think you know they're true, too."

Fluttershy felt like a geode, mostly hollow, with just little jagged bits along the edges of her insides. She scanned across their faces looking for help, but even Pinkie looked scary right now. "What do you think?"

Rarity opened her mouth, but it seemed she could not say it. After a moment, Rainbow spoke up, sounding uncharacteristically gentle: "We think you're a lesbian, Fluttershy."

She had thought she was ready to hear it, but she was not. She just stood there, stunned, blood roaring in her ears. She barely heard Sunset say, "But if you're not, that's cool. We'll be with you either way, right girls?"

"It's not fair!" Fluttershy suddenly wailed, because it was not. "How... how can you think you know what I think? You don't know what I think!"

They paused, startled and cautious. Finally, Pinkie raised a cautious hand. "Actually, Sunset can..."

"None of you know!" Fluttershy interrupted, spitting the words like they were bitter. "You think you know, but you don't!"

Rarity looked like she was losing hope. "No, dear, of course we don't know, but..."

"You don't know!" Fluttershy repeated, stomping her foot. "Stop acting like you know!"

A part of her mind vaguely noticed that Pinkie was no longer looking at her, but instead staring off to the other end of the parking lot. "You don't know!" she barked again. More of them were now looking where Pinkie was looking, but she was too carried away to pay much attention. "I'm the only one who knows what I'm thinking! No one else! None of you know!"

And of course, of course, that was exactly the moment she finally glanced over at what they were all gaping at. A second Fluttershy stood a few meters away, hands clasped in front of her, placid and kind.

"Hello, everyone," she said with a familiar, sweet voice. "I'm sorry to bother you all, but... I think I might know?"

Fluttershy pressed her hands against her head, crying. The park bench felt stonelike and cold under her, and she did not feel comforted even by the grassy, foresty spot she had been led to.

When she first saw herself standing across the parking lot, she felt like a hedgehog with all its spines plucked out, every defense gone. She just sank to her knees, exhausted and lost. The other Fluttershy had walked up to her hesitantly, then embraced her as the tears began to flow. She barely even knew what happened after that, but she had somehow ended up on this bench in the warm sun, Othershy sitting demurely beside her.

Fluttershy idly noted that she was vacillating between empty sadness and short bursts of panic. One of these bursts struck her, and she said, without really knowing why, "Please don't tell my parents. They'll be so worried about me."

"I won't, I promise," Othershy said gently.

That was the last flare-up, and Fluttershy slowly stopped crying. She leaned against her doppelganger, mostly feeling drained and sleepy. She breathed.

Othershy tentatively rested a hand on her shoulder. "Um. Is it your birthday, too?" she asked.

Fluttershy nodded, vaguely wondering how birthdays work in Ponyworld. "Happy birthday," she said softly.

"Happy birthday," Othershy said back, taking her hand away and placing it awkwardly in her lap.

Fluttershy reached over and took Othershy's hand in her own. She held it gently. "Is this okay?" she asked. "When humans hold hands, it... it means you're close. It's comforting."

Othershy blinked. "Oh. Yes, that's fine. We hold hooves, and it means the same thing."

"Hold hooves," Fluttershy muttered to herself. She looked up at her counterpart. "You really are a pony." Othershy nodded, and Fluttershy surprised herself when a giggle escaped her lips. "I'd like to be a pony. They're so cute."

Othershy blushed. "I think humans are cute, too," she admitted.

There was a long pause. "Did Sunset ask you to come?" Fluttershy asked, finally.

"Yes. But I wanted to, too. I thought you might want someone you don't have to explain anything to."

"Are you gay?" Fluttershy asked abruptly, looking down at her lap.

"Y-yes. I am."

Fluttershy gazed down at her lap more. "...could you ask me that?"

Othershy looked at her for a moment, sweet and concerned. But she nodded. "Are you gay?"

Fluttershy opened her mouth and emitted a high-pitched squeaking noise. She squeezed her counterpart's hand and felt her hand squeezed in return.

"It was really hard for me too, at first," Othershy said.

Fluttershy felt tears stinging her eyes again. "I feel so... weak and cowardly. You're okay with it, and I'm just..."

She gasped as Othershy literally pulled her to her bosom and embraced her. She felt her head being lowered to her counterpart's lap. She lay there on the park bench, feeling very silly but also more nurtured than she had ever felt in her entire life.

"I'm older than you, um, I think, somehow," Othershy said. "I've lived on my own for a long time." She stroked Fluttershy's hair idly, very much like brushing a horse's mane. "I don't think I would have been able to tell mom and dad and Zephyr while I still lived with them. And... and there's ways I think you're much braver than me. I heard you were in a band! I could never do that."

"I thought so, too. But it's actually not so hard, if it's with my friends."

"I feel the same way about my friends," Othershy said softly. "They really helped me, um, be out. Things are never perfect, but when they knew, it made everything easier." She paused. "Um, do you think you might want to think about telling them?"

Fluttershy stiffened. "No," she said. She sat up, looking Othershy in the face with alarm. "Oh, no no no. I should definitely not do that. Definitely, absolutely not."

Othershy blinked in confusion. "Uh... but. Why wouldn't..."

"I don't think it's a good idea at all," Fluttershy said sternly, panic beginning to rise up in her chest again. "Oh no no. I couldn't. I..."

A blue jay suddenly landed on Othershy's head. "Eep!" said Othershy.

The jay looked at Fluttershy gently. It had a daffodil in its beak. It hopped up and down twice, leaned forward, and dropped the daffodil. Fluttershy dumbly held her hand out and caught the flower in her hand as it drifted to the ground. The jay took off and flew to a nearby tree which, Fluttershy noticed for the first time, was absolutely full of birds, watching her pensively.

Othershy looked frozen. "Umm.."

"Those are my animal friends," Fluttershy explained. "Do... do you like animals, too?"

"I like animals very much."

Fluttershy nodded. She took a deep breath and fiddled with her hands.

Othershy sat next to her, placing a hand awkwardly but kindly on her arm. "You don't have to tell them if you really don't want to. You don't have to tell anypony you don't want to tell."

Fluttershy giggled again. "...You said 'anypony.' That's cute, too." She hugged herself, feeling dizzy. "I want to tell them. But... I'll probably lose them."

Othershy looked genuinely surprised about that. "Why would you lose them?"

"Because... they'll know." Fluttershy gripped her skirt tightly, her voice fading to a soft murmur. "They'll know all the... things I. Um. Think. About them."

Othershy squeezed her brow in confusion, then suddenly opened her eyes wide in surprise. "Oh! Um. Which ones?"

Fluttershy squeaked. "All of them."

"All five of them?"

"All... six." Fluttershy felt the anxiety in her chest again. "I mean... not all the same amount! Just... at least sometimes. Once in a while. They trust me, and I'm... thinking things. That's really, really bad."

Othershy looked like she was completely at a loss for how to reply. "Oh," she said.

Fluttershy's hand rose to her chest, where she gripped her blouse in rising fear. "You haven't...?"

Othershy shook her head. "...No. Not really, for any of them."

"Oh dear." Fluttershy's vision began to fade. "I'm really weird. I'm even weirder than myself."

"No, you're not!" Othershy reached out, clearly trying to be comforting, but she flailed her hand and poked her doppelganger in the face.

"Ouch!" Fluttershy exclaimed, suddenly brought out of her panic by the pain.

"I'm sorry!" Othershy gasped. "I'm not used to having hands! Are you all right?"

Fluttershy touched her face. She realized she had a small bruise there now, just like Rainbow Dash probably did. That felt notable, somehow. "I'm not hurt."

Othershy, in relief, grabbed her hand and stared at her with intense gentleness. "You're not bad, I promise," she said. "It's all right to have thoughts like that."

"But they'll feel so upset and violated..."

"No, they won't! I... I can't imagine Pinkie Pie ever being mad just because you like her. Or Applejack. Or Rainbow. Can you?"

Fluttershy thought about it. She could not.

Othershy was blushing. "Um, and... I mean, my Rarity, the pony? Actually, she thinks I used to have a crush on her, even though I... didn't. But I can't tell her the truth, because I think she'd be kind of offended."

Fluttershy felt her face practically turning to lava. "She would?"

"Yes, she, um." Othershy paused in that distinctive 'Fluttershy is going to compliment herself' way. "She cares about me, and she thinks I'm, um, really pretty, so it's flattering for her. And I don't mind letting her feel good about it. I do think she's wonderful."

Fluttershy's mouth hung open. "I don't think that's right," she said, finally. "They're my friends, and... and I'm taking advantage of them, and it's not okay. I don't..." She cast her eyes downward in shame. "I don't want to make them feel like Zephyr makes Rainbow feel."

Othershy paused, then shook her head. "But you're nothing like Zephyr," she said. "You couldn't ever..." She suddenly trailed off, staring down at the ground, then refocused on her counterpart with a very serious expression. "No. I was going to say that you'd never do anything to make them uncomfortable, but I don't know that. Not really."

Fluttershy nodded sadly. "Yes, exactly. And I can't ever know for sure, so... so shouldn't I just never, ever let my feelings out? Isn't that the only way to be sure I'm not being a bad person?"

There was a long pause as Othershy thought. Finally, she nodded and her face took on an expression of certainty. "Sometimes, when I try to be braver, I'll take on a character," she said. "I'll think and act all different, and it usually helps me not be scared. Because it's not me, it's this other me. Do you ever take on characters like that?"

"Like... pretending to be a straight girl?" Fluttershy asked, blushing.

"Um. Yes, just like that. But sometimes the characters I use are... not so nice. And I'll kind of lose control, and... well. I can get a little crazy. I understand being afraid you'll do something you don't..." Othershy suddenly stopped talking, because a squirrel had jumped on her shoulder.

Fluttershy reached out and scratched the squirrel under the chin. "This is Chuck," she said. "She's very nosy, but she doesn't mean any harm."

"Hello, Chuck," Othershy said, very seriously. Chuck nodded to her, then jumped off and darted to another nearby tree, chittering. She was apparently reporting back to all the other squirrels.

Othershy watched her go, smiling. "This... this is actually sort of what I wanted to say. Sometimes, I feel worried that I'm going to lose control and do something bad. Maybe even hurt my friends. But... but the way it always works out is from trusting my friends, because they always let me know when I'm going too far!" She sighed. "You're not like Zephyr, I promise. Because... Zephyr doesn't have friends to tell him not to make Rainbow uncomfortable, and you have so many friends. Humans and critters."

Fluttershy glanced around. She realized that the two of them were absolutely surrounded by animals. Snakes and birds and foxes and skunks and squirrels and deer and rabbits and one bored-looking capybara. She felt the muscles in her chest beginning to relax. "Could we sit on the ground, please?" she asked.

Othershy nodded sweetly, and gently guided her counterpart over to a nearby tree. She rested herself beneath it, and Fluttershy sat next to her, then softly lay her head in her doppelganger's soft lap again.

"...Is that a capybara?" Othershy asked.

"His name is Mateo," Fluttershy answered. "I don't know how he got to this area, but he's very happy here. He has a pond he likes to splash around in."

"Hello, Mateo," Othershy said. "Thank you for helping take care of Fluttershy." Mateo played it cool, but Fluttershy could tell he was flattered by the attention.

"You've really never liked any of them?" Fluttershy asked, looking seriously up at her counterpart. "They're all so, so pretty."

"I went on a date with Applejack once," Othershy answered calmly. "It was how we first met. But we just became friends."

"Oh, goodness," Fluttershy breathed, lost for a moment in the image of going on a date with Applejack. She blushed. "I wish I was as mature as you are."

Othershy leaned her head back against the tree trunk. "Sometimes... I think keeping something hidden makes it bigger than it is. You're scared someone will find out, and that makes it important, but the thing itself was never very important to begin with. ...Um, does that make sense?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I'm used to things being more scary than they should be." She reached up and grabbed her counterpart's hand again. "But it's not so scary for you?"

"I think so. Mostly." Fluttershy felt her counterpart slowly patting her head. "I... have a special somepony."

Fluttershy had been nearly dozing, but her eyes suddenly slammed open. "Special... somepony?"

"...Yes?"

"Special somepony." Fluttershy giggled softly. "Oh my goodness, that's very, very cute. We just say 'girlfriend.'"

"Oh, um." Othershy sounded befuddled. "Is it really that cute?"

"Mm hmm." Fluttershy remembered she should be upset, but it was less than before. "Tell me about your girlfriend, please?"

Fluttershy could hear the smile in Othershy's voice. "Well, she's smart. She's a researcher. She loves to read and to learn new things... she likes when I teach her about animals. She's kind of a bookworm, but she's so beautiful."

"It sounds like you love her."

"I do. A whole, whole lot."

Fluttershy began to fidget. "And... everyone knows you're together?"

"Yes."

"I'm gay," Fluttershy said.

She was extremely surprised, but she felt no blush and no urge to hide. Birds started chirping merrily in the tree above them. Othershy squeezed her hand.

"Oh my gosh," Fluttershy exclaimed. "That was very, very easy."

They just sat for a moment, listening to the birds. Finally, Othershy hesitantly spoke up: "You said you liked all of them, but not the same amount. Um... does that mean... there's one you think you might like the most?"

That brought on the blushing. Fluttershy turned on her side and curled into a ball, embarrassment consuming her, but she was smiling widely, too. "....Maybe?" she squeaked. Then she giggled. "Yes."

"Do you... do you want to tell me who it is? You don't have to."

Fluttershy rasped some nonsense syllables.

"That's fine," Othershy said maternally. "You never have to tell anyone anything you don't want to, okay?... But, if you did want to tell whoever it was that you like her, I think it'd be all right. Even if she doesn't like you back."

Fluttershy just nodded, smiling. And then she started to cry.

She felt the tears before she felt the emotion. She could not name it, but it was like a cymbal crashing in her head. Despair and terror and rage and shame.

Othershy blinked in surprise. "Oh... oh no, I'm so sorry. Um... are you sad she might not like you?"

Fluttershy shook her head, thoughts flashing in her head like electric sparks too fast to perceive, so she just opened her mouth and let her emotion speak for her: "I wish I was normal."

She bawled and sobbed, clutching Othershy's skirt in frantic, strong fists. "I want to be normal. I'd... I'd give anything, I promise." The emotion just filled her whole body, heavy and dreadful. "I'll hurt everyone." And then, "I'm scared."

She cried. And the world was just tears, her own self gently patting her hair, and critters huddled close, all around.

Othershy held her doppelganger's hand as they walked slowly back to where the other humans were waiting. She was amazed at how quickly she had gotten used to this new body. Helping her human self had taken her mind off of balancing and using hands and all the other stuff that felt so weird and new.

She glanced over at her counterpart, walking along with puffy eyes but a soft and genuine-looking smile.

A chuckle slipped out of Othershy's lips, and Fluttershy looked at her quizzically. "Hm?"

"Oh... I'm sorry," Othershy replied. "I was just thinking about how brave you are, but then I got a little worried saying it out loud would be boastful."

Fluttershy nodded. "Oh yes, I understand. I've been trying to figure out how to say thank you, but... thanking myself feels so arrogant."

Othershy just squeezed her counterpart's hand and kept walking. "I just hope I made things easier," she said. "It's never easy, but... I hope you'll be able to tell them soon." A few moments passed in silence, then she looked back. "Oh, but I have a question?"

"Yes?"

"Um... does my voice... sound weird?"

Fluttershy gaped at her. "Yes! It sounds very weird! It's like my voice, but... it's so different in my own head when I talk!"

"Yes!" Othershy was surprised at how relieved she felt. "I think we have pretty voices, but I still kept thinking, 'Is that really how I sound?'"

Fluttershy giggled. By this point, they had reached the edge of the parking lot where the others were waiting. Othershy noticed that the group looked slightly larger than it had been before.

Rarity saw the Fluttershies approaching first. She waved and gave a hopeful smile, saying something to the others. They all turned and looked, with various degrees of nervousness. Othershy still found it so strange to see weird human versions of all her friends, but the familiarity was nice: Pinkie's big friendly smile, Rainbow's distinctive hair.

She noticed two new additions that had not been there before. One was tall and blonde, with a big hat: Applejack. She felt very nice to see any version of Applejack.

When she saw the other newcomer, flat bangs hanging above dark-rimmed glasses, she had two thoughts at exactly the same time:

"Oh, this must be the human version of Twilight."

And:

"Gooodness, Moon Dancer is even pretty as a human."

She froze.

The human Fluttershy turned to her in surprise, then scrunched her face up in concern. "A... are you all right?" she asked hesitantly.

Othershy did not respond. Her mouth was hanging open, and she felt locked-up and bewildered.

"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy asked. "Do you need to talk?"

Othershy broke from her trance and shook her head sharply. "...No! I'm... okay. I just..." She could not think of anything to say after 'just.'

Fluttershy clearly made a decision. Her face took on a veil of determination, and she grabbed her counterpart by the shoulders. "Listen to me," she said firmly. "Something happened. If you need help, I'm going to help you."

Othershy looked back at her, perplexed. "But... you're the one who's having to come out..."

"Yes," Fluttershy interrupted. "And you came from another dimension to help me with it. So I can't just let it go if you're not okay."

Othershy had seen this side of herself, but she had never had this side of herself directed at herself. It felt nice. "O...okay. But just for a minute?"

Fluttershy nodded. She turned to her confused-looking friends, standing on the other side of the parking lot. and waved to them. She held up a finger as if to say "Just give us another moment," and she led her erstwhile pony self away.

Rarity watched them go, frowning. "Oh... hm," she said. "I... suppose they weren't quite done? But they both looked happy at first..."

"I imagine it's a difficult process," Twilight said. "It's not a surprise it might have some... stops and starts. I think it's a good sign."

They pondered this in silence for a moment.

Finally, Rainbow spoke up. "Um, so, is nobody going to talk about how they were holding hands and that's totally weird?"

"Rainbow!" Rarity squawked, appalled.

"Not because it's girls holding hands!" Rainbow protested. "Just, they're the same person!" She shook her head. "I hope they're not going to make out."

"Rainbow!!" Rarity shrieked again, cheeks burning red.

"I can't think of someone less likely to make out with herself than Fluttershy," Sunset intervened.

Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. "What, you have a ranking system for that?"

"Yes. And I cannot believe the point my life has gotten to where that was useful to do."

Twilight scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Um... so, which of us is most likely to..."

"Pinkie."

Pinkie tilted her head, grinning widely. "Guilty!" she chirped.

"Okay, well, that's great," Rainbow said, taking a deep breath. "Super glad things aren't awkward now that we gotta all hang out in a parking lot for however long."

Pinkie just did a handstand and gave her an upside-down smile.

Author's Note

So the warm blood flows through the large four-chambered heart.

Particle Man

Moon Dancer hated texting, but her feelings about actually talking on the phone went beyond hate into a phantasmagoria of odium. Once, she had called her calculus tutor and instantly froze up, standing silently, staring off into space as the bewildered voice called her name through the tiny speaker. "I know I'm supposed to do something," Moon Dancer had thought, "but what?"

The tutor eventually had said, "I guess she must have butt-dialed me."

"Yes I butt!" Moon Dancer had barked in response, suddenly realizing she should be speaking but not quite yet realizing what would to say that would not make her sound like an idiot. Soon after, she requested to her parents that she stop seeing that particular tutor. Not even learning calculus was enough fun to make up for that humiliation.

So, texting was uncomfortable, but at least she could plan her words. At times like this, when things were a little more fraught than a calculus lesson, that was especially important.

Her fingers raced across her phone's surface. --Hey. You're just hanging out on the computer right now, right?

It was only a few seconds before Weeping Willow replied. --hey hows yu know

She nearly crushed the phone in her hands, but one deep breath later and she was calmer. --Please stop writing like a nightmare. And I knew because you'd never leave the house if it wasn't for me.

He replied, with what she imagined was his geeky smirk: --and youd never leave the house if it wasn't for me. Whats up?

--You're coming on Saturday, right? She paused nervously then followed up with another text. --It's important. I'm really going to be putting myself out there.

She could practically feel the cautious defensiveness exuding from her screen as he composed and sent his response. --why wouldnt i come?

She chewed her lip in consternation. --Because of what we talked about.

Another pause, another miasma of prickliness. --I thought you said it was fine.

--It is! She wrote frantically, more anxious than she thought she'd be. --I'm totally cool with things. But I thought it might be hard for you.

He did not reply for a full minute, so she followed up. --I know I might be asking something unfair, it would just really help a lot if you came. Another ten seconds of nothing, and she nervously continued. --It's not just for M. I'm trying to really make friends. So they can get to know me. Like you do.

Another minute passed, but she did not know what else to write. Finally, she received a reply: --I'm cool. I'll see you Saturday.

She released the breath she was holding. --Promise?

--I promise, doofus.

--Thanks. And immediately after sending that text, she actually felt energy and optimism seeping back into her.

It was almost, but not quite, enough to make her enthusiastic about making a playlist for the party. A playlist of.... popular music. She groaned.

Moon Dancer noticed with relief that the bowl of salsa on the table was almost empty. "Don't worry, I got it!" she announced enthusiastically, and she eagerly retreated into the kitchen. Her 'good hostess smile' was starting to hurt, both from strain in her face muscles and from humiliation about how obvious it was to all her guests.

She leaned back against the kitchen wall, pressing her fingers to her forehead. In the back of her head, she reminded herself she was misattributing her arousal: her nervousness and agitation about the party were getting transformed into resentment and anger and distress. This knowledge did not help, but remembering it reminded her that she already had a college-level knowledge of psychology while still in middle school, which allowed a distracting burst of pride.

She sighed and retrieved the extra jar of salsa her parents had very kindly bought. They did not know everything, but they knew this day was important to her, and they showed it with gourmet salsa and organic corn chips.

She forced her mouth into a smile and strode back into the living room. "This one's pretty spicy, hope you girls don't mind," she sang, opening up the jar and placing it next to the bowl of chips. Her feigned extroversion garnered absolutely no response from her guests. She cringed lightly. "What's wrong, is no one having a good time?"

Minuette smiled awkwardly, glancing around at the others. "No, we are," she said. "But... you kinda don't seem like you're having a good time, Moonie."

Moon Dancer considered protesting, but it just felt pointless after the excutiating hour she had just spent trying to party. And Minuette's concern caused a momentary warmth in her chest that was difficult to deny. "...can you really tell?"

"Yeah, but it's totally fine!" Lyra replied, her trademark optimism bursting out like a halo. "We know this sort of thing doesn't come easy for you, but you're totally killing it!" She gestured over at that friend she had made at her new school. "You completely charmed Bon Bon, and she's all crabby!"

Bon Bon's strained smile indicated she had figured out there was no way to argue against Lyra's assertion without proving it correct, but her eyes held a genuine warmth. "Yeah, this was a cool way to meet everyone," she said. "Crystal Prep students can be kind of intimidating from the outside, but this party was really easy."

"Thanks," Moon Dancer replied, nodding mopily. "I'm guess I'm just kind of disappointed that not everyone came."

"Most of us did, though, right?" Lemon Hearts pointed out.

Minuette shrugged. "I invited that quiet girl from class... you know, the purple one? But I didn't really expect her to show up."

"Yeah," Twinkleshine added. "Almost everyone came! The only one that's missing is Weeping Willow, and... um." She trailed off at Moon Dancer's miserable expression.

Moon Dancer sighed, working out in her head how much her emotions would let her say. "I... was going to do something today. Kind of make an announcement." She grinned at them nervously. "Um. But I think I'm too scared. He was supposed to be here to help."

"That's super lame, but are you really surprised?" Lemon Hearts asked hesitantly. "Everyone knows he's crushing on you."

"I know!" Moon Dancer snapped. "I mean, whatever, he has a crush on his friend. It happens. I get it. But..." She felt annoyance beginning to take its place at the front of her emotions. "Oh, but his feelings are so deep and so important, he just can't bring himself to think about anyone else. He's too sensitive and emotional."

She vaguely noticed her glasses were getting tear-smudged, so she removed them and set them down next to the salsa. "I don't know why I ever trusted him. He always does this. He's..." Her pants pocket suddenly buzzed, stopping her short.

She froze, then slowly reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She poked the button and glanced at the screen, briefly speechless. "And, he just this very second texted me," she said.

Minuette winced. "What did he say?"

"'I'm sorry.'" Moon Dancer felt her jaw tensing and her chest beginning to burn. "That's it. Just 'I'm sorry.'" She looked up at her friends, a sarcastic grin splattered on her face. "Hey, he's sorry, everyone."

"Um... what are you going to do?" Lemon Hearts asked, very fearfully.

"I'm just going to be open with my feelings," Moon Dancer sneered. "Like you do with your best friend you've known since you were three. Right?" She gripped her phone with tense, white hands. "Am I angry or sad?"

They glanced at each other uncertainly. "Both?" Lemon Hearts offered.

"Yes," Moon Dancer confirmed. "Correct. Both." She closed her eyes. Anger was winning.

She looked back down at her phone, furiously typing. --Whenever it's important, you let me down. Every time. I was stupid for not learning that you always will. You're just a selfish weakling, and I can't deal with it anymore. She sent it without letting herself think another thought.

Then she had another thought, and she looked back down and typed: --Don't ever talk to me again.

The tears were fully flowing now. She dropped her phone on the table and suddenly whirled on her friends. "Hey, who cares anymore, so guess what!" she announced, spreading her arms wide. "I'm a lesbian! I'm a big, ugly lesbian! Hooray for me."

She vapidly noticed Minuette, an expression of concern and confusion on her face along with everyone else. (Concern and confusion and pity, not pride and happiness and curiosity.) "This is so stupid," Moon Dancer mumbled.

Twinkleshine came first, then quickly everyone else followed, even Bon Bon. They embraced her like a dog's thundershirt. "This isn't how I wanted this to go," Moon Dancer murmured. "I shouldn't have..."

"Yeah, you should have," Lyra interrupted. She pulled back, pressing her hands against Moon Dancer's shoulders and looking her in the eyes with an uncharacteristically serious expression. "You're not alone. Okay? Don't you dare give up on everybody because of one jerk."

Moon Dancer felt herself nodding, then she threw herself into the group hug.

When it was over, they sat huddled on the floor, munching on corn chips Bon Bon had snatched from the table. "Were you guys really not surprised?" Moon Dancer asked. "I mean, about... the gay thing."

"I don't think I knew," Twinkleshine answered, shrugging. "But to be honest, you throwing a party in the first place was so unexpected, I wouldn't have been surprised by anything."

"That was kind of the idea," Moon Dancer said, shyly scratching her cheek. "Weeping was the one who told me to do it."

She sighed, more gloomy than mournful. "He really is my best friend. He was the only one who knew before you girls." She munched on a corn chip thoughtfully. "Am I wrong? I know, it sucks to get your hopes up about a crush..." she looked down at her lap to keep from accidentally glancing into a familiar pair of blue eyes... "but you deal with it, right? Especially if you talk with the person, and you say it's okay. Is this just my bad social skills?"

"No, you're right," Lemon Hearts answered. "He was so clearly, like, savoring the angst of his 'unrequited hopeless love.'"

Minuette gave one of her dazzling grins. "Okay, so group pledge, everyone? Our friend Moon Dancer has a little bit of a problem shutting herself off in her little antisocial shell."

Moon Dancer felt a blush and a smile coming to her face unbidden. "I'm not that bad..." she muttered.

"No interrupting!" Minuette snapped, letting out a giggle. She cast her gaze around the group. "So, if Weeping isn't going to be around anymore, it's up to us. Can we do it?? Can we keep Moon Dancer from turning into an old hermit cat lady??"

"Yeah!" they cheered, Moon Dancer included. She felt silly, and that was a silly thing to do.

"I know a bunch of cute girls, too," Lyra added offhandedly. "Just saying."

"Aaaagh!" Moon Dancer covered her face with her hands and rocked back and forth. "Too fast! Not ready!" She spread her fingers and peeked out. "Actually maybe just one or two?" She giggled. "Or three?" She covered her face back up. "But the three cutest."

"That's my little baby gay!" Lyra hooted. They all laughed. Moon Dancer finally relaxed.

Weeping Willow lay flat on his back, squeezing his eyes shut. He heard Fluttershy's lilting voice, "Ready?" He gave a thumbs up.

The door opened, rasping slightly against the cement floor, and then they were upon him. "Aack," he grunted, as they trampled all over him and shoved themselves against his body. "They're killing me..."

"Meow," one of them said.

Fluttershy giggled, then suddenly stopped. "Um, sorry. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he answered. "But... one of them is on my face. How do I get it off my face?"

"I think if you just sit up, she'll jump off."

"Really? She won't... latch onto my cheeks with her claws?"

Fluttershy giggled again, sounding less unsure about it this time. "I don't think so. She's actually one of the sweetest of them all."

Weeping hesitantly, slowly sat himself up, and he indeed felt the cat spring lightly away. He carefully opened his eyes to see all the cats milling around. Two were jamming their faces into his legs. One was already curled up on his ankles. "Okay," he said. "I think this is fine. I can deal with this."

"Hooray!" she cheered with soft joy. "They like you a lot, too."

He gently reached out to pet one, but it twisted and slammed its cheek into his extended hand. "I don't have, like, a big phobia about them or anything," he said. "They just make me nervous. My family's always had dogs. Cats are... weird. I don't know what they're gonna do."

"Dogs are very different, but cats are just as darling," Fluttershy said. She stepped into the small pen and reached down to help him to his feet. Then she actually turned and addressed the cats like they were little people, and they actually all lined up to listen to her. "Thank you all so much for your help. When Weeping is comfortable, he'll be helping me take care of you during the afternoons, too!" She raised a slight eyebrow at one of them. "He will smell like dogs, but not any more than I do. He is not secretly a giant dog." She nodded and smiled as if a contention had been resolved. "All right, now go play!" Weeping had to admit this display would be terribly creepy if it were not so adorable.

And it was adorable. She gave him a shy smile and they left the playpen, walking back to the main room of the animal shelter. He probably did have a crush on her. It would have been very hard not to. She relaxed him, she kept him from getting angry.

He got angry a lot. Just that morning, he had snapped at his mother for suggesting he eat some cottage cheese. "I'm not a goat, mom!" he had said.

Getting angry made him stupid, and he hated it.

But, as he watched Fluttershy's long hair waving slightly in the air behind her as she walked, he realized he hated not being angry, too. It felt dangerous. He patted the side of his pants, feeling the phone in his pocket, and he grew less tense (which also made him more tense, which also made him more calm). He had reached the point where he did not even have to turn on the phone to look at the text messages he had saved all those years ago. He knew what they meant about him. You're just a selfish weakling.

He'd had terrible thoughts, and they had ruined everything.

They reached the main room, and Fluttershy walked to her bookbag, removed her phone, and looked at it. She frowned in that distinctive way: worried but excited but comfortable.

"Text from your friends?" he asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could.

"Oh!" She looked up from her phone, then cast her gaze to the floor, blushing. "Yes. They, um. Want to go swimming tomorrow."

Not for the first time, he wondered if he was cursed; if, as an infant, his parents had angered some old witch, who doomed their son to only have crushes on lesbians for the entire rest of his life. But despite his comfortable burst of self-pity, his heart broke for poor Fluttershy, so anxious and upset. He owed her for her kindness; he really did have to help.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "You don't look too happy about it."

She clutched the phone to her chest. "It's just.... friend things."

He grunted, the contempt for her friend-group rising again. Of course, he had an advantage; he had seen something similar play out in real time. But they were all just totally oblivious, and it made him mad.

And. She liked them. If she were able to look his way, he could make her so happy, but she was just trapped forever pining for them. She needed a hero; someone to rescue her.

"I wouldn't know," he replied stoically. "I tried having friends once, but it didn't work out."

She blinked at him, sympathy and surprise bleeding onto her face. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. "But... but everybody needs friends. How do you spend your time?"

He kept his face stony, though it was difficult. "I go to work. Hang out on the computer. Volunteer here." Her concern was causing problems again; the bad thoughts were coming back. His feelings for her were a terrible monster; they roared fearsomely in his head and he fought to keep them at bay. "It's fine." If they won, he would become a bad person again; he would hurt her like he hurts all his friends. "Friends just aren't for me."

She strode up to him, eyes huge and watery, and she touched his hand so gently, he barely felt it. "But are you sure?" she asked sincerely and sweetly.

"I guess I had a best friend once," he muttered. "But it's too late, I broke things." He frowned, the bitterness tasting sweet as it filled him up. "She probably always looked down on me, anyway."

"Oh..." Fluttershy's expression held Renaissance-level sadness and sympathy. "My friends... they're not perfect, but I am so grateful I have them."

And as he fought to hold back his looming feelings for Fluttershy, his jealously of her friends blindsided him, and together they just overran his entire psyche. She was so beautiful, and her friends so blatantly didn't deserve her attention. He reminded himself of the text messages,sitting there on his phone, of don't ever talk to me again, and he was surprised to realize he had no emotional reaction at all.

"Do you want to go out with me?" he asked.

They stared at each other in silence. "On a date," he clarified, finally.

Her mouth fell open. "But you're a boy," she said, and then her eyes flew open in terror. "I mean..." she said, then she just fell silent.

"Yeah, I'm a boy," he said with strange, manic confidence. "So do you want to go out?"

She grimaced, but it settled into a soft smile. "Yes," she said. "I'd like that very much."

Later, as he walked home, he almost wished he had friends he could tell about the situation he had gotten himself into. That was another bad thought.

"What did you do this time?" Moon Dancer would say, refusing to look up from the scientific journal she would be reading.

"I really messed up," he would reply. "I made a pass at Fluttershy. We're going to go on a date."

That would be enough to warrant a glower over the top edge of the journal. "You're going on a date with the girl you're trying to get to come out as a lesbian." And he wouldn't say anything, and then she would just roll her eyes and sigh.

He realized something. "I've always had these bad thoughts inside me," he imagined saying. "Bitter or selfish or creepy thoughts. Monsters." He sniffed pensively. "And for one second I stopped worrying about them. I stopped worrying I'm going to be a bad person." He sniffed again. "And it was the first time I can remember that I've gotten what I want."

Imaginary Moon Dancer was quiet.

Weeping Willow arrived home, and the very instant he saw the brown package sitting on the front doorstep, he knew what it was.

It had finally arrived. What incredible, bizarre timing.

He scooped up the package and went inside, greeted by his family's two dogs. Moby, his favorite dog, jumped and sneezed in glee. Flannery, his other favorite dog, wagged and did a figure-eight through his legs.

He ran up to his room, dropped his backpack on the floor, and placed the package reverently on his desk. It felt strange, but he supposed that was not a surprise.

He slowly opened it, not sure what to expect. Not being sure what to expect was the right decision, because there were a teapot and an oak leaf inside, and those were about the weirdest things it could have been.

He removed and unfolded the accompanying note:

This teapot should do the job you asked me about. I also included a little bonus item just for fun.

One more thing. The teapot alone should help you with your problem, but there's something else you can do with it. Something bigger. If you want to make an impact, the power is right there in your hands. Think about it.--AD

P.S. One problem, though. You'll need a... power source. I only know of one thing with enough magic to suffice, but how you get your hands on it is up to you. See below.

The rest of the note was just detailed instructions on how to use the items.

Weeping picked up the teapot and turned it over in his hands. It was strangely warm; it was the kind of heat he had felt when he saw Fluttershy go off with her red-haired friend that one time. Prickles and needles.

Imaginary Moon Dancer leaned over his shoulder. "You should do it," she said. "Show those girls."

He knew it was really his own thoughts, but there was some kind of odd glow to her hair, and he felt hostility and sourness and spite bleeding out from his brain and seeping all the way down to his toes. "Show them that you aren't beneath them," she continued. "It's what you want, isn't it? And now you're a man who gets what he wants."

He felt himself nodding. "Oh, and make sure I'm there," she said, her voice beginning to sound like his own but also beginning to sound like ravens screeching. "The real me. So I can see what you've grown into."

"So she can see how strong I've gotten," he thought.

Author's Note

What's he like? It's not important.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Fluttershy stopped squeezing her eyes quite so tightly closed, but it took her a few more seconds to actually open them. The bookstore looked surprisingly normal, except for the glaringly surrealist image of her boyfriend standing on top of a bookcase brandishing a teapot in the air. His eyes glowed cherry-red as he surveyed the room.

She felt a tickle of magic through her body and looked down to see her toes floating lightly off the floor. There was a soft breeze on her wings as they flapped. She had ponied up without even meaning to.

Three or four staff members and customers lay sprawled or curled up on the floor of the bookstore. The only ones still on their feet were Othershy, her terrified-looking, erstwhile pony counterpart, and Human Dancer, who seemed more shocked about Weeping Willow's presence than the magical explosion or the fact that one of them now had horse ears.

"What," Human Dancer said. "The. Hell."

Weeping frowned down at her with a genuine sadness that looked strange on his face. "You're tangential to my plans, but I invited you so you could bear witness to my moment of generosity."

Fluttershy shared a bewildered look with her doppelganger. Human Dancer took a step forward, body tense and shaking with anger. "OK, look, one: stop talking like that; it's ridiculous." Her glasses fell down her nose and she appeared not to notice; she just glared at him over the rims. "Two: What are you doing??"

He gave her a pouty scowl. "I thought you and I could use some closure."

"Closure?!" she bellowed. "You ignore me for three years, and now you want closure?"

"I didn't ignore you," Weeping whined in an exaggeratedly hurt tone. "You told me not to talk to you again, and you were right. I ruined your chances with Minuette. That's unforgiveable."

Human Dancer clenched her jaw, roiling with barely hidden emotions. "I was mad!" she snapped. "I got over Minuette in like a week! It was just a stupid... Gah! You didn't even try to talk to me!"

"I would have just hurt you more," he said, mists of chartreuse flaring into the cerise aura coming out of his eyes.

She grabbed a nearby book about penguins and threw it at him. "Oww, hey!" he yelped, pulling a knee up to protect his stomach as the book smacked into the bookcase beneath him.

"What is wrong with you?!" Human Dancer barked. "You're not some noble, suffering vampire, you're a dumb teenager who screwed up!" She seethed at him as he reestablished his poise. "This was the problem in the first place! You think your baggage is more important than everyone else's!"

"Oh, you don't need to spare my feelings," he replied, though sparing his feelings was obviously the last thing she wanted to do. "There are monsters in me." He fixed his patronizing gaze onto Fluttershy. "Ask your new friend here, I have darkness in my soul. She knows that better than anyone, right?"

Fluttershy started backwards. "Um. I'm not sure I know what soul darkness looks like."

"I do," a voice stated angrily. They looked and saw Sunset Shimmer floating in the center of the store, glowing and icy. A second Moon Dancer stood beneath her, chest heaving in exhaustion.

"Moon Dancer!" Othershy called, running to her special somepony (even under the circumstances, Fluttershy's chest warmed from just imagining the adorableness of that phrase).

"I came.... to save..." Moon Dancer panted. She fell to a seated position, holding up an index finger. "Just gimme a second." Othershy cuddled her with such a natural sweetness, Fluttershy's heart ached.

Human Dancer gaped, nonplussed. "Huh, this dream got hot all of a sudden," she said.

Sunset ignored all of them, glaring straight at Weeping Willow. "I found your leaf," she said coldly. "I gotta admit, you were smart about all of this. But the game's over. Your teapot thing doesn't work on me. Tell us where the princess is."

Weeping was not even looking at her. He stared at Othershy and Moon Dancer wistfully, like he was watching a heart-achingly poignant ballet or opera.

But then he suddenly jerked his head toward Sunset, eyes flaring with redness. "Oh. I get it," he sneered. "You're all from Equestria, aren't you? You're not really humans."

"Yeahhhh, so, how do you know about that, anyway?" Sunset asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Weeping rolled his eyes. "You fly around with pony ears, and you think it's all a big secret?" He scoffed. "That's such a straw man fallacy."

"That's not what a straw man... gah, forget it." Sunset pointed at the teapot in his hands. "Where did you even get that thing?"

"I bought it online."

Sunset gaped. "You bought it online?!"

Human Dancer held out her phone, screen facing out. "Uh, yeah, I just looked it up," she said. "There's actually a whole 'Equestrian magic' subreddit." She looked back at her screen. "You guys, um, might want to be a little more careful about keeping this stuff under wraps."

"It's not that it doesn't work on Equestrians," Weeping said, smirking. "I was just only aiming for all the humans nearby except these two." He fiddled with the teapot, then pointed the spout forward. "It works on whoever I'm aiming at."

A chartreuse beam suddenly shot forth from the spout, striking Sunset in the forehead. She fell to the ground with a whimpering wail.

"Sunset!!" Fluttershy flew over to see her friend curled up in a fetal position, oblivious to the world. She looked as unSunsetlike as anyone had ever looked, and Sunset not being Sunset was one of the worst things Fluttershy had ever seen.

"What did you do to her?" Fluttershy yelled at her boyfriend.

Weeping ignored her, frowning at he teapot, poking at it with esoteric finger combinations. "I actually didn't mean to do that," he said. "Hold on, this thing is..."

Human Dancer's mouth fell open. "You're using it on the whole town and you don't even know how it works?!"

"No, I do!" he defended, grey flashing into his eyes. "It's just, it's stuck in 'despair mode' for some reason. I think my power source must be influencing it." He shrugged. "Wants to shoot out despair, I guess."

"Power source?" Moon Dancer pulled her wobbly legs under her and stood, leaning on Othershy in exhaustion. "Wait. What do you mean, 'power source?' What's your power source, kid?"

"Not 'what.' Weeping waved a hand over the teapot, causing a hologram to wobble into existence in the air next to him. "Who."

The hologram was not large, but Fluttershy could still make out the horrible image. It was an oblong, round room, empty except for a girl with purple skin and intelligent, despairing eyes. Twilight Sparkle. She had her hands against the smooth walls, staring out in hopelessness.

Weeping closed his fist and the image disappeared. "The strongest magic in Equestria," he sneered. "All mine to use how I want."

Moon Dancer and Othershy gaped, and Fluttershy noticed their hands finding each other and clasping together; it looked almost automatic.

"Okay," Moon Dancer said carefully, taking a step forward. "Listen, you think you know how that thing works, but it's ancient. Not even magic experts would know. You're... you're putting Twilight in huge danger, and none of this is even her fault."

"Experts!" Weeping spat. "That's the 'appeal to authority.' It's a fallacy. Autodidacts like I know much more than a bunch of biased 'experts!'"

He pressed two fingers against the teapot, and a magenta beam shot out, striking Othershy in the face. Her knees buckled, Moon Dancer attempting in vain to keep her on her feet.

Fluttershy ran to her doppelganger, but when she got closer, she saw that unlike Sunset, Othershy had a sleepy, serene smile on her face, her eyes rolling aimlessly. When they fell upon Moon Dancer, she sang, "Heyyyyyy cuuuuuutie. I have haaaands."

"Oh, good!" Weeping exclaimed, grinning. "Bliss! That one worked."

Moon Dancer turned to him, gritting her teeth with fury. "Kid, you don't..." And then a celadon beam zapped itself into her chest.

She buckled forward, silently shivering for a moment, then she flung her head back and gave a wild hoot. Laughing wildly, she spun in a circle and darted off between some bookcases.

Weeping scratched his head. "Huh. Glee. Close enough." He looked back at the two remaining girls: his oldest friend and his winged girlfriend. "All right, now that all those Equestrian interlopers are dealt with, let's get on to business." He reached his hand out to Fluttershy. "Your birthday present."

Fluttershy looked up at him blankly. She could feel her rage growling deep inside, and under normal circumstances it probably would have consumed her. But it was all just too much: she felt exhausted and lost after a day of alternate dimensions and sobs and teapots. "My... birthday present?"

"Oh, yes." Weeping gestured around to the various people crumpled on the ground "All this was just a show, so everyone will know what I can do. The real reason I got this was for you."

"For... me?" She drifted forward almost mindlessly.

Human Dancer's shout stopped her. "Hey!" She waved her arms in the air angrily. "Weeping, this is crazy. This is huge and crazy. I don't know who this magic girl is, but you're drinking a keg of crazy juice and you need to stop and think!"

Weeping glared down at her. "That's a slippery slope fallacy," he said with contempt. "And I don't want to have to use this teapot on you."

She froze for a moment, then stepped forward, clenched fists at her sides. "No! If anyone can talk you down from this, it's me!"

"You told me never to talk to you again!" he roared.

She pointed at him furiously, her voice beginning to crack. "This isn't you! You're... you get caught up on your own crap, and you hurt me, yeah, but you're not malicious! You're not..." And then a beam of dark grey light slammed into her right eye. Her face sagged and she stood still.

Weeping frowned. "Are you listening, Moon Dancer?"

She shrugged. "Eh."

He cackled and turned back to Fluttershy. It was finally just the two of them left.

"Anyway," he said officially, "your birthday present." He beckoned her closer and she hesitantly flitted towards him.

"Will they all be hurt from this?" she asked, dumbly noting the bodies strewn around the store.

"Of course not!" he answered heartily. "It's just feelings. I can undo this all with a snap of my fingers. I'm just that powerful now." He grinned. "And I will undo it. But I want to help you first."

"Help me?" she asked, faintly realizing she had little wherewithal to deal with any more surprises. "Help me with what?"

He looked genuinely surprised. "With your problem, of course. Those feelings you can't get rid of."

Her chest felt like it was a giant, clenched fist. "...You know?" she whispered. She suddenly remembered kissing him. Was that really this morning?

He just looked back at her.

Moon Dancer ran by, making gleeful gibbering noises. She ran a circle around her doppelganger and disappeared into the bookcases again.

Human Dancer sighed. "Whatever."

Fluttershy barely even registered this; she gaped at her boyfriend in simultaneous dread and hope. "You can... you can change me?"

"That's why I bought this thing," he said. "It can make you not care. It can free you."

She remembered waking up from the trance Twilight had put her in. She knew some sort of suggestion was in her head; if it worked, she would hear a cue and do something silly without even thinking about it. And as she sat there across from Twilight, she wondered if she was doing the same thing to herself. One of her friends would do something so innocent (like talk breathily but commandingly to her in a dim room) and with every distracted gaze and every tingly feeling, it just made her hypnotize herself a little more. She'd get one step closer to that day the trigger would happen; there would be a snap and she would finally carry out the suggestion without even meaning to: Hurt them. Hurt everyone. The suggestion she was planting in her own mind, all the time... it was getting closer and closer and she couldn't stop it.

"You can fix me?" she asked.

He faltered a bit from that. "It's not fixing you," he answered. "I can help you... get rid of the feelings you don't want. The monsters."

She realized that was a very apt way to put it. There were bad feelings inside her, monsters, and if she didn't get rid of them, they would burst out and devour everyone she loved. She slowly, vaguely reached her arm out towards Weeping Willow.

But suddenly she heard, very faintly, a voice. It was a moaning, sad grunt, like the wind, and it was calling out her name.

She turned to see something she absolutely did not expect. Sunset Shimmer had brought herself up to one knee, and she was sobbing loudly enough to be audible from where Fluttershy was. But still, she lurched forward towards them.

The voice called again, "Fluttershy..." And Fluttershy realized that although Sunset was stirring, she was not where the voice was coming from. She turned more and looked to the entrance of the store.

There was a tangled mound of bodies there, some on their hands and knees, some draped over others, one on unsteady feet. And in that mound she saw something bizarre and familiar: a purple curl. A pink puff. The garish colors of the whole rainbow.

Her friends, all her friends, all five of her terrible, wonderful friends were dragging themselves into the store. There was utter, lost despair on all their faces, but there was something else, too. Rarity reached out a trembling, weak hand and shook her head limply, as if imploring her to refrain from something.

Fluttershy realized very suddenly that it was Rainbow Dash's voice that had called her name.

Her emotional exhaustion crumpled like a popsicle stick bridge. She whirled on Weeping Willow, suddenly overrun with manic fury. "No!" she shouted. "I won't let you do it!"

He took a step back, clearly shocked. "But..."

"No!" she repeated. "My friends love me, and they'll help me! I won't let you change me, and I won't let you hurt them anymore!"

Weeping Willow looked absolutely broken. That expression lasted one second before his eyes flared again and he pointed the teapot spout forward, grimacing.

Suddenly, a shape lurched up from the side of the bookcase like an emerging zombie and perched atop the shelf behind him. Moon Dancer (the one from Equestria, Fluttershy recognized) grabbed Weeping's arms, struggling with him. A deeply red beam shot out of the teapot, millimeters from Fluttershy's head. She squawked out an "Eep!" and ducked behind a shelf.

As they precariously wrestled, Fluttershy gaped at her Equestrian savior. How was she doing this? Had she somehow thrown off the effects of the teapot? Fluttershy's foot bumped against something, and she looked down to see a literal staircase made of books leading up to the top of the bookcase. When had this been constructed; how had she done it so quietly and sneakily? Had Moon Dancer just been pretending the whole time? Did the beam miss her?

Moon Dancer, still struggling with one arm, glowered at Weeping with a practiced 'scary, cold Moon Dancer' face. "Never talk to me again," she snapped.

He froze, and she knocked the teapot out of his hands.

The teapot rolled along the floor and came to a stop directly at Human Dancer's feet. She looked down at it. "Whatever," she said.

"Take the lid off!!" Moon Dancer shouted to her. Her counterpart looked up at her blankly.

Weeping emitted a chirping noise and shimmied down the bookshelf.

"The lid of the teapot!" Moon Dancer yelled desperately. "Open the teapot!" Weeping reached the floor and began to careen towards his former best friend. "The teapot!!"

"I'm getting to it, geez," Human Dancer muttered. She squatted, reached down, and pulled the lid off.

The lights Fluttershy had seen that day already were glowing auras or sharp beams. But the light that emitted from the teapot's open top was different: it was a sparkle. Huge, bright, and warm... but clearly a sparkle.

The teapot shattered, and a blinding, purple flash filled the room. When it dissipated, the tableau was striking. Princess Twilight stood tall and furious, wings and horn glowing. Human Dancer was on her knees nearby, looking up at her in awe. And Weeping Willow lay in front of them, holding his head and moaning.

"Fluttershy!" Fluttershy turned: Rainbow's voice was far louder than it had been a minute ago.

She flew immediately to her friends, clustered near the door, and tried to embrace them all at once. She failed, but Rarity, the one she reached, held her with a brutish tightness antithetical to her usual poise but somehow feeling exactly right. The others touched her back or arms. Fluttershy felt a hand she knew was Sunset's on her shoulder.

"Girls!" Fluttershy breathed. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah... fine," Rainbow said, sounding surprised. "I remember, it felt awful, but when that teapot exploded, the feeling was just gone."

Sunset frowned, looking around the store. "We need to finish this, but people are starting to stare. Let's find somewhere more private?"

The others nodded, and Sunset called out to Princess Twilight, still staring with rage at the boy in front of her. "Twilight!" Twilight did not move. "Princess!!" Finally, Princess Twilight looked up, blinking, as if waking from a reverie. "We gotta move somewhere, okay? Grab someone who can't fly and let's book!"

The Princess frowned, but she wordlessly turned and picked up Human Dancer, who appeared to nearly faint from the contact. Sunset flew over herself and grabbed Weeping Willow, who dangled limp in her arms.

Fluttershy was too weak to carry even her own, petite doppelganger, but luckily Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie were stronger. They all ponied up, grabbed the others they could carry, and flew quickly out of the store, leaving the bewildered customers and employees behind.

They reconvened on an office building's roof: not too far away, but still private. Moon Dancer felt herself being lowered to the ground by the human version of Pinkie Pie, who babbled in her ear nonstop the entire way about how excited she was to be new friends with two versions of the same person. Immediately after she set Moon Dancer down, she hugged her tightly, handed her a kazoo (which she called a 'Pinkie Present'), and darted off to join her friends.

Luckily, her special somepony had been dropped off right next to her, so she grabbed Othershy's hand and felt one thing finally start to make sense. Unluckily, Princess Twilight had also been dropped off right next to them.

But, Twilight did not even acknowledge them; she just stared at Weeping Willow, huddled off near the edge of the roof by himself, his arms wrapped around his knees, crying. Moon Dancer realized that she had literally never seen Twilight angry before. She had seen her annoyed, frustrated, and indignant, but never angry. It was terrifying.

Human Dancer was nearby too, but she just stared at Princess Twilight, open-mouthed, blushing furiously.

Twilight, seemingly oblivious to everything else but Weeping, slowly started moving towards him.

Suddenly, a yellow arm reached out and grabbed the Princess on the shoulder. The human version of Fluttershy floated there, looking sad but determined. "Wait," she said. "Please, Princess. Let me talk to him?"

Princess Twilight froze. She stared impassively for a moment, then her face softened. She nodded.

As Fluttershy hesitantly approached Weeping, Twilight seemed to abruptly realize her immediate situation. She glanced to her left and right, noticing, apparently for the first time, that she was surrounded by Moon Dancers ("Moon Dancers?" Moon Dancer thought. "Moons Dancer?") She shrunk slightly, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

But Moon Dancer was too addled and numb to be angry at the moment. She squeezed Othershy's hand and looked up into the blue sky. "When I got hit with that beam," she mused, "I just instantly felt so... sneaky. And brave. I felt like I could outsmart anybody. I knew exactly what to do... how to act and when to make my move." She glanced over at the Princess curiously. "Did you do that?"

Princess Twilight opened her mouth and then closed it again. When she spoke, her voice rasped, like she had not vocalized anything in weeks. "I don't remember everything that was happening outside. I just got flashes... images." She shyly looked up at her former(?) oldest friend. "But I got a flash of you. I knew you were there. And I just remember thinking, 'Moon Dancer will get us out of this.'" She looked back down at her feet. "'Moon Dancer will think of something.'"

They finally made eye contact. It only lasted a moment. Moon Dancer felt her hand being squeezed harder, and she felt, suddenly, warm.

Weeping vaguely noticed the two groups of people who all hated him. Fluttershy's six friends all clustered together in their magic-girl pack, casting disapproving glances his way. The Equestrians (and his former oldest friend) stood apart, looking awkward and dazed.

He sniffled and buried his face in his knees.

"Um. Hi." A soft voice startled him, and he looked up to see his beautiful, sweet girlfriend squatting next to him. He had not expected this.

She sighed. "You were really, really mean, Weeping Willow," she admonished gently.

"It was the teapot!" he started to defend, but then he caught himself and deflated. "...No. No, it wasn't. The teapot made everything bigger, but all those feelings were there before."

She nodded. There was a silent moment. "I need to say 'I'm sorry,'" she said, finally. He looked up in shock and she continued: "I knew I was never going to like you, but I agreed to date you anyway. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, but Fluttershy," he argued, "what I did was so much worse!"

"I didn't say it wasn't," she replied.

There was another pause.

"What happens now?" he asked.

Amazingly, she looked at him with soft, empathic eyes. "I think you've spent a lot of time alone," she said. "You think that's the way it has to be, but... but when you're alone, all your thoughts and feelings get so much worse. You can't have perspective on any of it." She looked away shyly. "...At least, that's what happens to me."

And then she looked back at him with, amazingly, a smile. "So... if you'll have it, I want to offer you my friendship." She reached out a hand. "Do... you think that's okay? We can be friends?"

He almost forgot what it even was like to be angry. Almost mindlessly, he reached out his hand and grasped hers. And her smile got bigger.

Sunset was not shocked when she saw Fluttershy pulling Weeping towards their group: she knew how these things go. Weeping had been intolerable, but she had perceived subtle signs that a severe dearth of friendship was at least partly to blame. But, judging by the scowls on some of the faces around her, the others did not share her assessment.

He stood before them, looking down at his shuffling feet. Fluttershy put a soft hand on his shoulder, and he sighed, bringing his eyes up to their disapproving ones. "I'm sorry," he said meekly. "I was awful to all of you. I was angry and jealous, and I acted horribly."

They glared back at him.

Sunset noticed that Human Dancer had broken out of her Princess-trance and was storming over to them. "Hey!" she shouted. "Why are you all talking to him! Did you forget what he did, uh..." she pantomimed looking at a nonexistent watch... "five minutes ago? You're just forgiving him?"

"It's not really forgiving him," Fluttershy said. "It's just... giving him a second chance. I'm willing to do that." She looked around the group with intense kindness. "I think... I think it would be good if everyone did that, too, but only if you want to."

Nobody moved. Sunset noticed that at some point, the Equestrians had walked closer too, staring bluntly at the sole boy on the roof. Sunset looked at Princess Twilight. Then she glanced over at the other Twilight. She sighed.

Sunset walked closer to Weeping, reached out, and clapped him on the arm. "If we can all start over as friends, I think that would be cool," she said.

Pinkie was next, cheerfully unfazed by her contentious history with him, giving him a big hug and handing him a kazoo. Slowly, they all approached him, nodding or voicing their approval. Even Rainbow and Rarity.

Sunset noticed there was one holdout. She looked over and saw Human Dancer standing there, seething. "I can't believe this!" she snapped. "You're all... gragh!" She stomped towards him in a violent rage, jabbing her finger towards him. "You're the worst!" she growled, and then she threw her arms around him, sobbing.

"Um, what's the deal with me?" Moon Dancer asked Othershy, receiving a bewildered shrug in response. Sunset noticed that the only person who didn't seem surprised was Weeping Willow himself, who just hugged her back and started crying himself.

After a few seconds, she pulled back and looked at him tearfully. "I missed you, doofus," she said. He nodded gratefully, apparently lost for words.

Fluttershy watched this with an increasingly bold expression. She strode forward, standing next to them. "This might be silly," she said, "but I think I'd like to say something to everyone?"

She glanced at Othershy, who nodded with a smile. Fluttershy took a deep breath, then another deep breath, then she blurted, "I'm gay!"

Sunset's heart exploded with pride. Weeping gave her a sad smile, Pinkie literally cheered.

"I'm gay!" Fluttershy repeated. "Gay gay gay!" She shouted it into the sky. "I am gay! Totally gay! As gay as a gumball machine!"

"Aha!!" Applejack shouted, pointing triumphantly at Sunset.

Everyone froze and looked at Applejack with bafflement.

"Um," she said, blushing hugely, "it's..." She rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Uh." There was a long, awkward pause. "Hey, Fluttershy's gay, everyone, yeeha."

"Yeeha!" Sunset repeated, half wanting to rescue her friend from her predicament and half legitimately believing the moment deserved that sort of cheer.

"Yeeeeha!" they all yelled, surrounding Fluttershy, practically exuding joy.

"Yeeha," Fluttershy cooed very quietly, through a very genuine grin.

Author's Note

PEOPLE!

I Love You for Psychological Reasons

As the ungainly, motley group walked back to the school, Sunset marveled once again at Spike's apparently universal charm. The little guy had done it again.

Twilight Sparkle held out the picture on her phone to Weeping and to Fluttershy, smiling shyly. "Aww," Weeping cooed, "hey, buddy!"

"He's cute, but don't be fooled," Twilight warned. "He's always planning some new scheme."

"Yeah, that's like Flannery," Weeping replied. He pulled out his own phone, apparently to call up his own picture, but he stopped and looked closer at Twilight's screen. "Um... wait, is he doing a crossword puzzle?"

"Yeah, but it's just the Tuesday," Twilight answered. She sighed. "He tries to help with the Saturday, but he just gives up and writes 'bone' in all the four-letter words and wrecks it. It's like, no, Spike, 'Bone' did not write 'Hard Road to Glory.' 'Bone' is not a word that means 'determined.' 'Bone' isn't even 'prefix meaning bone!' It's never bone!"

Weeping was appropriately nonplussed by this, so Sunset glanced over at the rest of her friends, walking and talking. They seemed to be in high spirits, which was a relief but not surprising. Rainbow was right: the awful feeling from the teapot just immediately was gone, like she'd never felt it.

Sunset glanced over at the final clump: the other Fluttershy, from Equestria, her Twilight-reminiscent special somepony, and Human Dancer. The two Equestrians were gamely trying to make conversation with the human, which was not easy, given her obviously distracted state.

"Say," the pony Moon Dancer was saying with forced breeziness, "do you listen to Swordfish Trombones? I just recently got into him."

Human Dancer blinked in confusion. "Um? Oh, yeah, actually," she replied. "Just a few months ago. That's weird, huh?"

"What's your favorite album?" Moon Dancer asked. "I keep trying to get Fluttershy to listen to him so we can talk about it, but it's just not her thing."

"His voice is just so raspy," Othershy said with very slight defensiveness. "I like pretty music."

"Huh." Human Dancer frowned, apparently more confused by someone disliking a growling folk singer than the existence of a magical pony clone of herself. "I think his music is really pretty." But from the way her gaze kept getting drawn to one of the other girls walking with them, it was clear what she was really thinking was pretty at the moment.

"That's what I say!" Moon Dancer agreed. "It's so real. You know?..."

Satisfied, Sunset finally directed her full attention to the one person in their group walking alone. She knew her human friends were overjoyed to see Princess Twilight, but there was such an aura of misery and awkwardness emenating from her, everyone just instinctively gave her space.

Sunset, finally consciously accepting how much she disliked giving space to people who need to be given space, trotted to catch up with the princess and fell into step next to her. "Hey," she greeted. "Busy morning, huh?"

The princess nodded but did not reply.

"So," Sunset continued, determined to remain undaunted, "I was glancing back at some of the conversations you had in the journal with Weeping Willow, when you thought he was me. I think I've pretty much figured out about how everything went down over on your side." She glanced over at the other two aliens, then looked back at Twilight. "The only thing I can't really tell is, which one was it?"

"Fluttershy," Twilight replied, looking straight ahead.

Sunset nodded. "This might be weird, but... do you want me to come with you? Because I don't really know them. So you'll have somepony just there to support you?"

Twilight shook her head. "I just want to get it finished, however it goes, with a minimum of complication." But even with her misery, she glanced over at Sunset and offered a wan grin. "You said 'somepony.'"

Sunset blushed slightly and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, well. I get around Equestrians for ten minutes and slip back into the old dialect." They shared a smile.

They reached the high school's parking lot and prepared to say the very strange kind of goodbye that you say when someone is simultaneously just going next door and into a realm with completely different rules of physics. The Fluttershies threw their arms around one another tearfully. "I'm so proud of you," the Equestrian said, and then she whispered something in her doppelganger's ear, eliciting a huge blush.

"I'll try," the human said, very quietly.

Fluttershy walked back to her pony colleagues and nodded gently, ready to go.

Princess Twilight and Moon Dancer glanced at one another awkwardly, but luckily Pinkie marched up to them, announced she was putting her farewell in the form of music, and began blowing through two kazoos simultaneously (Sunset realized after a moment she was playing 'Don't Stop Me Now' and somehow doing the harmony, too). Both Princess Twilight and her estranged friend looked relieved for the distraction. Pinkie finished and did a bow; they all applauded politely.

"Well," Princess Twilight said, "I guess we'd better..."

An exaggeratedly loud sigh interrupted her. Sunset looked over to see a blue-skinned, silver-haired girl standing mopily in their midst.

"Um," Sunset said.

Trixie sighed again, louder this time. She did not seem to have noticed that their group contained three pairs of identical twins.

Everyone stared at Trixie, whose silent appearance among them was, Sunset had to admit, a rather amazing feat.

"Well, good morning, Trixie," Rarity greeted, doing her best to embody good manners. "It certainly is... a surprise to see you."

"Trixie was not dumped!" Trixie asserted, staring glumly down at her feet. There was a long pause.

"It was a mutual decision!" she added. There was another pause.

"My!" Rarity replied finally, glancing back in vain to the others. "That's certainly..." she trailed off, helpless.

"It certainly is!" Trixie grunted. "She said Trixie didn't pay enough attention to her. How was I supposed to know she was so sensitive about that??"

Sunset gaped blankly. "We kinda had a whole big adventure because of it. Remember? She literally sang a song, like, explicitly just about how she doesn't like feeling ignored."

Trixie sighed. She looked up at them with honest sadness in her eyes. "Trixie has had a bad day," she said. "She wanted to get her mind off it, so she went to find her... her friends."

The mood relaxed, and Sunset felt her heart going out to the poor girl. Even some of the others with more healthy skepticism about magical braggarts seemed moved. "Well, sure," Applejack replied. "That makes sense, I guess. What can we do?"

Trixie smirked. "Trixie heard there's a word you can say that makes Sunset hop around like a bunny."

Sunset's eyes widened. She grabbed the two people closest to her: Pinkie and Rarity. "Yeah, could you give us a second, please?" she said, marching her two friends off to a nearby corner of the parking lot.

When she was far enough to be confident they would not be overheard, she crossed her arms and glared at them, especially Pinkie. "No," she declared. "Absolutely not. Not in front of Pony Twilight."

Pinkie grinned. "Okay!" She cheerfully began to march back to the group, but Sunset grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her back.

"Hold on!" Sunset hissed. "If Trixie keeps just hanging around, she'll see the Equestrians leave. And magic subreddits, sure, but we need as few people as possible to know the location of the portal to an entire other dimension."

Rarity frowned thoughtfully. "I certainly understand that as a general rule, but it's just Trixie. She's a bit much, but she's also quite harmless."

"Oh, no no no, no," Sunset blurted hastily. "Trixie is absolutely the last person who should know how to get into Equestria."

"Really, darling?" Rarity cupped her chin in her hand, thoughtful and confused. "I thought you two were becoming quite close." She sighed. "And I admit, I thought of her a few times as inspiration during this whole recent ordeal. I could never directly understand Fluttershy, because of my complete heterosexuality, but Trixie's openness and courage gave me an outcome to imagine for her."

"No, you don't get it," Sunset grunted. "I like Trixie, really. But she absolutely must not be able to get into Equestria. Especially right now."

"I don't understand. Why?"

Sunset glanced back at the larger group, noting they were mostly just standing there awkwardly. She looked back at her friends. "Okay, um, do you remember that little ranking system I mentioned earlier? The one Fluttershy was really low on?" She raised an eyebrow meaningfully. "Do you wanna guess who is at the very top of that list, and who also is on the rebound right now?"

Rarity opened her mouth then closed it again then nodded. "I see. Yes, that would be something to avoid."

"Yeeeah. So, we need a distraction."

Pinkie nearly vibrated. "I have an idea!" she hissed. "A big Pinkie idea! But!" She stared at them.

Sunset glanced at Rarity for help. There was none. She looked back to Pinkie. "But...?"

"But I just met her!" Pinkie barked thoughtfully.

"Just... what?"

"I'll do it!" Pinkie decided, shouting loudly enough that the others heard her. "I'll take a big Pinkie risk!"

She darted over to the others, zipping through them like a rabbit. She marched up behind Human Dancer (still staring plaintively at Twilight), picked her up like she weighed nothing, and deposited her in front of Trixie.

"This is Trixie!" she sang to Human Dancer. "She lives in this dimension!"

She zipped in an unnecessarily large circle to stand behind Trixie. "This is Moon Dancer!" she stage-whispered loudly, elbowing the blue-skinned girl meaningfully. "She.... likes caaaaaaatsssssss."

The two girls stared at one another in pained silence. Trixie looked even more uncomfortable than when she was talking to Wallflower, blushing and shivering. Human Dancer did not look much better: she glanced around at the others plaintively.

Weeping Willow caught her eye and gave her a grin and a thumbs up.

Human Dancer grimaced, then nodded. She looked back at Trixie, still awkward but with a straighter spine than before. "Hi," she said. "I do like cats."

Trixie clearly did not know how to respond. Sunset waved, catching her attention, then gave a grin and a thumbs up of her own.

Trixie had a look of hesitation her face for exactly one second, then her jaw clenched. The subsequent transformation was appropriately garish: there was a burst of color and suddenly Trixie looked two feet taller, standing there with her hands on her hips and a confident smile on her face. "Hi!" she barked. "I'm great and powerful!"

She thrust her arm up toward the sky and pulled back, from nowhere, a copy of the board game Life. "Behold the magic of the Astounding Trixie!"

"Oh. Um, that was very cool, but why..."

"It's a symbol!" Trixie announced, tossing the board game into nothingness again. "It makes sense in the context of the act!"

"My goodness." Human Dancer sounded honestly impressed. "Because.... life is an illusion?"

"Exactly!" Trixie flung her arms in the air, delighted. "Trixie is so glad somebody finally gets it! You must be an expert at magic."

Human Dancer blushed. "Well, I've studied a tiny bit of the history of legerdemain, but you must know way more than me. Who are your influences?"

"Oh ho ho! Trixie is her own influence! Also The Amazing Kneebender, Cloudflare, Identical Twin, Identical Twin Jr., Staccato The Mysterious, Identical Twin III..."

As she continued listing off obscure magicians to the surprisingly rapt nerd before her, Sunset took the chance. She rushed over to the Equestrians and gave Twilight a quick hug. "Sorry about this, but gotta go while she's distracted. Twilight... keep me updated on everything later, okay?"

Princess Twilight nodded, glancing back at the other Equestrians anxiously. "Thanks, Sunset."

She watched them run to the statue and hurl themselves in, and immediately afterward, a pink hand grabbed her shoulder from behind. "It's working!!" Pinkie hissed, indicating the improbable love connection happening right before their very eyes. "This is a big Pinkie success!"

"So! Cloudflare was the first to really stress the importance of the top hat. The top hat is an important tool. Of course, today, real magicians use giant wizard hats with stars all over them, but..."

'Big success' was not really the term Sunset would use, but she could not deny the warm feeling she got watching her sweet, obnoxious friend impress a cute girl.

The rest of the group was just shamelessly ogling the interaction, with reactions that ranged from bewildered (Twilight) to amused (Rainbow Dash). But Sunset especially noticed one of them. Fluttershy clasped her hands at her chest, eyes sparkling, soft orange blush coloring her cheeks. Sunset had seen this reaction once before, and it was when that chipmunk had finally given birth in the middle of that snowstorm. Fluttershy was carried away by the adorableness before her, for sure, but there was another look on her face, too. Optimism. Excitement. She was full of sweetness and joy and color, and finally ready to offer all of that to whoever wanted it.

"Huh," Sunset muttered to herself. "Just like a gumball machine."

The three ponies emerged from the mirror in an ungainly hump. Nopony knew what to say, so they had to pick themselves up off the floor in silence, disentangling their limbs while trying not to make eye contact. Moon Dancer had hoped that, despite the fact that they sent the message to Starlight indicating everything was okay, that everypony would be waiting for them. Twilight would be distracted by Celestia, Fluttershy would be cooed over by all her friends, and none of them would have to think about the conversation that awaited them.

But no. The library was empty and quiet. The books she had previously strewn across the floor still lay there.

They stood unnaturally in silence, Twilight staring in one direction, Moon Dancer staring in another. Fluttershy glanced back and forth between them, pawing the floor anxiously. She gave the kind of fake grin that would be comforting to a small foal and placed her hoof on Moon Dancer's shoulder. "So," she declared. "I guess." Her voice cracked. "We should talk about things."

Moon Dancer did not move. "There's been an update," she said. "Me and Twilight kind of had a fight this morning."

Fluttershy took a step back, frowning. "Oh, dear. How bad?"

Twilight and Moon Dancer glanced at each other awkwardly. "The worst?" Twilight offered.

"Yeah, sounds right," Moon Dancer confirmed. "Just imagine the worst and you're probably not too far off."

Fluttershy sat her haunches down on the floor, looking helpless. "About... me?"

"Yes," answered Twilight. "No," answered Moon Dancer.

There was a long pause.

"I guess it was because of you," Moon Dancer clarified. "But it wasn't about you."

Twilight sniffled and looked down at her hooves. "It's not because of her," she muttered, "it's because of me. Because I messed up."

"That's true," Moon Dancer replied, the icy feeling tinting her gaze again just a bit.

Fluttershy hovered in the air, hugging herself. "What did you say?"

Moon Dancer sighed. "I was real mean. Super nasty mean."

"That's true," Twilight replied, a slight crease beginning to form on her forehead.

There was another long pause.

Suddenly, the door to the library slammed open, Spike and Starlight sauntering in. "I don't understand girls at all," Spike was saying. "But weren't you, like, Trixie's first friend ever? That does kinda seem like a big minefield."

"But we're so comfortable together!" Starlight argued. "And she's got such a great rump!"

"Ewwww, Starlight, don't talk about Trixie's rump!"

"But she does! She..." Starlight trailed off as she and Spike noticed they were not alone. They stared at the others, eyes wide. Time stopped.

"Hey!" Starlight barked suddenly. "You're back! Sooner than we thought!"

Fluttershy waved timidly to her. No one else moved.

Spike pointed to the books Moon Dancer had strewn about the room. "We were just going to clean up, um..." He fiddled awkwardly with his claws. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "The hallway! I left the oven on in the hallway!" He turned and began marching artificially out of the room.

Starlight just stared at them, frozen, a grin plastered on her face. "Help!" she declared.

Spike marched in a circle around to where she was and began shoving her out of the room. She kept grinning at them even out into the hallway. "Thank you!" she bellowed as the door slammed behind her.

The remaining ponies sat in silence. Fluttershy coughed.

"Yeah, so totally unrelated issue," Moon Dancer said. "Starlight and Trixie are going to hook up and it's going to be the most awkward thing that's ever happened."

"I'm just going to forget you said that for now," Twilight replied. "I'm barely able to tell my legs how to stand up, at the moment."

Moon Dancer closed her eyes, then she turned and looked at Fluttershy and Twilight. "I'm sorry," she blurted.

They stared at her.

"I'm sorry for multiple things, but one of them is really important," she continued. "Fluttershy, you had something happen to you that was alarming and unsettling." Twilight hung her head in shame and Moon Dancer tried to ignore it. "But then, I turned around and made the situation all about me. That wasn't fair." She sighed. "Before me and Twilight... do whatever we have to do, I need to make sure you have priority."

Fluttershy looked surprised, but Twilight looked very surprised. Moon Dancer suspected that her action was being interpreted as having demonstrated important friendship skills, and she felt a strange mix of pride and resentment.

Twilight's expression settled comfortably into misery as the pegasus alighted in front of her, gentle as ever. "Twilight," Fluttershy began, very hesitantly. "You scared me the other night."

Twilight nodded. "I know. I knew while it was happening, but I couldn't stop."

"Are you attracted to me?" Fluttershy asked without stammering once, which was the boldest thing Moon Dancer had ever seen her do.

Twilight blushed and looked away. "No. I don't think so."

Fluttershy nodded. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure this wouldn't be confusing." She gingerly threw her front legs around Twilight and embraced her.

Twilight looked like a statue sculpted to portray the embodiment of discomfort, but after a moment, she relaxed very slightly into the hug. "I love you, and I'm not mad at you," Fluttershy said. She pulled back and looked at her friend with concern. "But... why? Why were you acting like that?"

"I don't know if I can explain it." Twilight glanced around the room, maybe looking for a book that would help but coming up with nothing. "I was having these thoughts and they were making me feel like I was a bad pony. And it all just kept turning into a bigger and bigger deal. And you... I just felt like it was really important for you to pay attention to me."

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. "But why?"

Twilight sighed. She glanced over at Moon Dancer. "That... gets into the whole other thing."

For a moment, Moon Dancer was totally caught between terror from Twilight's brief reference to her and the warm, inviting look Fluttershy was giving her. But the fear subsided, and the Fluttershy Feeling (it was Fluttershy Feeling #6, she recognized: a gentle but energizing self-confidence) only got stronger. She slowly stood and walked next to her special somepony, very slightly leaning against her, and regarded Twilight. "Okay, then. I'm ready."

Twilight was clearly not ready, but she gathered herself and gulped. "I'm jealous of you."

The very concept was so bewildering, Moon Dancer did not even register it before Twilight continued: "So... apparently we look and act like. Did you know that?"

On autopilot, Moon Dancer replied, "I always thought you were more similar to Starlight."

Twilight grimaced at that, but she kept going. "So, you and I are the same, but... but you got cool, and you got weird librarian-sexy, and you got all grown-up, and it's so intimidating to be around you, sometimes."

"I'm intimidating?"

"Oh, yes," Fluttershy confirmed. "You're terrifying." She sounded pleased about it.

Moon Dancer pulled away from her slightly. "You think I'm scary?"

"No, I never have," Fluttershy clarified warmly. "Not once. That makes me feel special, sometimes, though."

"I don't know how to take this," Moon Dancer said, frowning. She looked back at Twilight. "I don't feel scary. What would be scary about me?"

Twilight shrugged. "You're smart, and you're opinionated. And you, uh, kind of have a temper."

Moon Dancer frowned; she was not ready to feel anything yet about any of this, so she tried very hard not to. "But you're the foremost expert on friendship in the entire world. How could you possibly have insecurity about your social skills?"

"There's more to social skills than friendship!" Twilight defended. "You're not a dork, like me."

"I'm a total dork!"

"No, you're.... you're cool."

"You keep saying that," Moon Dancer said, raising an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you could possibly mean. I'm not cool. Rainbow Dash is cool."

"Rainbow Dash is a different kind of cool," Fluttershy spoke up.

"You're like Maud, kind of," Twilight said. "She has all this confidence and poise, and she just does her thing and doesn't care what other ponies think. I don't know, she's cool! Like you."

"Maud is cool?"

"You listen to jazz!" Twilight explained. "Abstract art jazz where the notes are determined with a mathematical formula, stuff like that!"

Moon Dancer frowned. "You're calling me a hipster, aren't you?"

"No!"

"Uh huh," Moon Dancer intoned, eyelids drooped. "No, except exactly yes?"

"That's not the point!" Twilight snapped, stamping her hoof in frustration. "You're just... ponies think you're cool, and it's intimidating sometimes, that's all."

Moon Dancer blinked. "I need to invite the rest of the world into my head to see what it's like in there."

Twilight shook her head briskly. "No, I promise I'm not trying to dismiss your anxieties. It's just how you come across. I'm a princess, and I know I'm good at friendship. But I'm definitely not cool." She blushed. "And that's not even to mention... dating."

"What about dating?

"You date!" This apparently contained all the meaning Twilight intended to convey, but it was not enough, so she clarified, "You date Fluttershy!"

Moon Dancer opened her mouth, but could not think of a response. "I do," she confirmed eventually.

"Right!" Twilight declared, smacking one hoof into another for emphasis. "See? I've never dated anypony, and you're over here winning the Equestrian Dating Championships." Fluttershy blushed hugely, but Twilight continued unabashed. "I've never even really thought about dating. It's this weird scary thing, and... and nopony's ever wanted to date me, anyway, so." She hung her head and sighed. "So I probably shouldn't even be thinking about it."

They did not say anything. Moon Dancer had never seen this side of Twilight before, and a glance to Fluttershy showed that it was rare for her, too.

"I don't think this makes any sense," Twilight said sadly. "But this is why I was acting like that, Fluttershy. I couldn't stop thinking about how Moon Dancer is cool and attractive, but I'm just not. Not to anypony in my whole life, not even to somepony who already likes me as a friend." She winced. "It's unfair and I'm sorry. But I just got so anxious about it, and... and I was all worried it somehow meant I was gay. And I got stuck on the idea that if you liked me, I'd feel better."

Fluttershy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked at Twilight very seriously. "Assimilation and contrast," she said.

"Um." Twilight was clearly not prepared for the conversation to go the way it did. "Wwwwhat?"

"It's something I learned today," Fluttershy explained quietly. "When two ponies are similar, then everypony who knows them well will pay attention to the ways they're different. The differences feel like they're huge, because they're contrasted with the other pony." She blushed. "Something like that. I never took psychology in school." She gathered herself to look them both in the eye with some degree of confidence, and it was both warm and a bit scary to Moon Dancer. "But... this sounds so silly to say out loud. But, you're not my type, and you and Moon Dancer are similar, and Moon Dancer is my type. And... oh, I can't explain it without messing it up."

Twilight tilted her head in thought. "Is it kind of... when you met her, you were really paying attention to the ways she's different from me, and those parts are your type?"

"Yes!" Fluttershy nodded gratefully. "I knew you'd get it. Thank you." She looked up at Twilight bashfully. "And I think, all the times you two knew each other, you were noticing all the ways the other was different, too. And ways you thought she was better."

Moon Dancer glanced at Twilight, who looked as well put-together as always. Captured and imprisoned in an ancient teapot, and still there wouldn't be a hair out of place. Clean and organized and feminine.

Moon Dancer sighed. "I don't even think about this stuff, usually," she said finally. "Just little moments. I'll just remember how it felt to be in school on the bad days." She looked Twilight square in the eye. "Even though I know you don't look down on me, sometimes I feel like you do."

"I don't!" Twilight protested unnecessarily. "You've been so strong through so much! And it was all my fault, and..." She froze suddenly, then closed her mouth. She turned her back on them, took a long, deep breath, then turned back.

"We have to talk about the fight," she said.

Moon Dancer involuntarily recoiled. "Okay!" she squeaked.

Twilight nodded. She had clearly willed herself into Princess Mode; she just had a vibe of poise that radiated from her, despite her uncertain posture and facial expression. "I know I messed up," she admitted. "You asked me to give you time, and I didn't." Before Moon Dancer could react, Twilight looked straight at her. "But the things you said really hurt."

"I'm sorry," Moon Dancer said, almost reflexively.

"Um." Twilight batted the floor uncomfortably; it was an oddly Fluttershyesque move and Moon Dancer found it a little unnerving. "Yeahhh. But, I'm not bringing it up so you can apologize. Some... stuff came out. Stuff between us."

Moon Dancer narrowed her eyes and felt a slight icy feeling in her cheeks. "I don't think I know what you're talking about. I was just saying things. I didn't plan any of it. I didn't even think I was going to see you."

"Moon Dancer..." Twilight looked up at her with pleading eyes. "This isn't going to work if we're not both honest."

Moon Dancer almost got angry from that, but she felt a hoof tracing a gossamer path on her back, and the building rage was replaced with Fluttershy Feeling #10: secure, placid ease.

Twilight scratched the back of her neck awkwardly and said, "I know you know part of what I'm talking about. You said it yourself this morning."

Moon Dancer blinked, genuinely confused and realizing a part of her was not confused at all. "My party?"

Twilight nodded. "You've been holding on to that, haven't you? Me not showing up?"

Moon Dancer glared. "But Twilight, I'm not mad about that anymore. We've talked about it."

"No, that... that's not the point." Twilight sighed. "I don't mean you're still mad. But you have been holding on to it."

She sighed, and the look on her face was just sad. "I'm supposed to be this great expert on friendship, and I've gotten so much because of that." Twilight gestured vaguely to her wings. "But it all started when I hurt someone who cared about me, and I didn't even remember her until years later."

Moon Dancer did not say anything. She felt like she already knew what Twilight meant, but could not find the knowledge in her memory when she tried.

"Sometimes, you make me feel like I stole it all." Twilight's face fell. "Like I don't deserve any of it. The wings, the castle, the princess thing... my whole life. It's literally the number one thing I'm afraid of after losing my friends or embarrassing myself in front of Princess Celestia." She looked up. "You knew I felt that way, didn't you?"

Moon Dancer tried to start to speak, but her throat muscles weren't working. She felt a burning in her eyes and knew there was only one thing to say. "Yeah, I knew that. On some level. And... oh." She lay down, hugging her front legs to her chest. "Oh, Twilight."

Fluttershy touched a wing gently to her nape. "What is it?"

Moon Dancer sniffled. "I was saving it."

The admission almost physically hurt. "I didn't..." She looked down at the floor under her head, where there were already a couple of tear stains. "I didn't really know it consciously. But it was my big gun."

She looked up into Twilight's eyes, even though that was the last thing she wanted to do. "It was like a spell only I knew, and I was gonna cast it when I really, really wanted to... feel stronger than you."

She felt a wing on her shoulder and she launched herself sideways and glommed onto her special somepony. "Fluttershy!" she sobbed. "I didn't mean any of the things I said to Twilight, you know that, right?"

"I know, sweetheart."

"They were a bunch of bald-faced lies! I said she wrecked my life!" Fluttershy somehow passed her a tissue she got from somewhere; Moon Dancer blew her nose and felt a gentle hoof patting her back. "She never wrecked my life! I was just mad! She's my best friend!"

In in the midst of her breakdown, Moon Dancer suddenly realized she had never called Twilight that to her face before. She froze. Then she realized the hoof touching her back did not belong to Fluttershy.

She pulled away from them both, sniffling and blushing. "I mean," she said, "good friend."

Twilight walked closer to her. "You know, part of the reason I went so crazy? I was so worried about losing you both if I went crazy, that it drove me crazy." She chuckled ruefully. "Listen, you and I have something really special that I can't get from anyone else in Equestria. Something I really need in my life." She sighed. "But I think it's easy for each of us to forget how badly we can hurt the other. And... I need to know if we can trust each other." She sat and looked at Moon Dancer hopefully, almost bashfully. "I want to. But can we?"

In response, Moon Dancer suddenly flung herself at Twilight, tackling her to the ground in a frantic embrace. She was no longer sobbing, but rivulets of tears were still coming down her face. They just lay there a few moments, Fluttershy standing awkwardly next to them, before a purple blob of magic literally picked the pegasus up and laid her down on top of them.

Still crying lightly, Moon Dancer was surprised to find she was laughing, too. She couldn't help it: The sight of them sprawled in a heap all together was so silly, the more she imagined it, the funnier it got. They huddled together in a mound of laughter and tears.

Several minutes later, they pulled themselves apart and stood up, Fluttershy still leaning up against Moon Dancer's side, a small but joyous smile on her face. Twilight stretched her wings and giggled nervously. "Our fights are always such a big deal," she observed. "I wonder why that is."

"Starlight said it was because we have baggage from knowing each other such a long time," Moon Dancer remarked. "But I don't think that's all of it." She shook her head ruefully. "Buddy, we think too much. And then we think too much about thinking too much, and then we think too much about that. And pretty soon, we have these terrible demon monsters in our heads that are huge problems, even though they started as, like, Twinkleshine gave me a weird look during recess today." She glanced at Twilight with a raised eyebrow. "Hey. Do you really think nopony has ever wanted to date you?"

Twilight suddenly blushed, wings seizing up against her sides. "Wouldn't I know it if somepony had?"

"Twilight..." Moon Dancer sighed. "Look, did you even see my human self, this morning? She may as well have been shooting little cartoon hearts out of her eyes at you."

"Uh. Really?

"Yeah." Moon Dancer smirked. "Come on, can't you put two and two together, here? I thought you were supposed to be smart."

Twilight's face fell into enormous, almost Pinkie-sized gobsmackedness. "Moon Dancer..." she breathed, "did you ever..."

"Of course I did, ya doofus." She could not keep herself from smiling. "This adorable little genius wants to come over and read books with me? You're how I knew I was gay."

Twilight stared gapingly at Moon Dancer, then at Fluttershy, then back at Moon Dancer again. "How long?"

"Not long." Moon Dancer noticed that her special somepony looked quite pleased this was coming out; she was the only one Moon Dancer had ever told. "I was way, way over it by the time you left. But for a few months there, I was spending eight hours a day just Twilight-pining."

Twilight literally smacked herself in the forehead (Moon Dancer realized she was where she must have picked that up from). "So, let me get this straight," Twilight said. "I had a huge freakout, all tied up in insecurities that you're more attractive and cooler than me and nopony had ever wanted to date me... and you used to want to date me."

"That does seem to be the case," Moon Dancer replied. "And meanwhile, I had a huge freakout, all tied up in insecurities that you look down on me... and you trust me so implicitly, you believed in me to save everypony in the bookstore this morning."

They stared at one another for a moment, and then Moon Dancer glanced over at the other pony in the room. "And while her special somepony and her friend were doing all this, what was Fluttershy doing? She crossed dimensional boundaries to help a girl she'd never met come to terms with her sexuality."

"Oh!" Fluttershy bashfully looked at the floor. "Anypony would have done it..."

"No, they wouldn't have," Twilight replied. "You did it. It was huge and you did it like it was nothing. And Human Fluttershy is going to have a better life because of it."

Moon Dancer sighed. "We're done fighting, right? We can just spend the rest of the day celebrating Fluttershy?"

To answer, Twilight conjured one of those little flappy noisemakers, put it to her lips, and blew. "Fweee!" it went.

Fluttershy, for her part, was bearing the praise admirably, but luckily she did not have to keep it up longer, because the door suddenly slammed open. They jumped in shock but did not have long to be surprised, because a pink earth pony was suddenly among them, hopping up and down in delight. "I heard a party sound!" Pinkie chirped. "That means everything's okay, right??"

They stared, too nonplussed to even blink, but Starlight stuck her head into the room, looking around in confusion. "Uh... is everypony okay in here? We were all in the kitchen, and then Pinkie suddenly ran off."

Moon Dancer saw Fluttersy's genuine smile at Pinkie's antics and felt herself slowly relaxing. "We're just excited for Fluttershy's party tonight," she said, as Spike and Starlight walked in to join them.

Twilight, for her part, did not seem particularly relaxed. "Um... this was a Pinkie Sense thing, right?" she asked nervously. "Nopony was listening, were they...?"

"Oh, silly Twilight, of course we wouldn't eavesdrop on you!" Pinkie admonished. "I'm not even wearing my catburgular suit!"

Twilight gave her a sideways glance for a moment, but then just sighed. "Okay. It's just, we talked about some... not very flattering things?" She giggled nervously. "Moon Dancer said Spike was going to contact the Princesses, so... I mean, I'd just want to be careful."

"Uh," Spike said.

"We called off the big emergency," Moon Dancer said. "I think you miiiiiiight be getting a little paranoid there, Twilight. The Princesses wouldn't have any reason to be around, much less listening."

"Oh, nuh uh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "We did get your message about everypony being safe, but Princess Celestia wanted to stay in Ponyville anyway, for Fluttershy's birthday party!" She grabbed Fluttershy's front hooves and hopped up and down. "Isn't that super?? Princess Celestia almost never comes to a party!"

"Yeah, where is she, anyway?" Starlight asked, scratching her chin in thought. "I haven't seen her for a while."

"Uh," Spike said, raising a claw. "I just remembered, she told me, um." He glanced around in agitation. "The last time I saw her, she told me she was. Um. Going to try to find. Uh. A book to read."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "A book to-- what." Her wings jutted out in terror, and she froze like a terrified statue. The others glanced at each other in silence.

"Oh, my goodness," a sweet and maternal voice announced stiltedly from the other side of the room. "What's going on?" And Princess Celestia just stepped out from behind a bookshelf, enormous, implausible grin slapped onto her face.

She beheld them all with grace. Twilight was still not moving, but she was beginning to froth at the mouth. "Well, good afternoon, my little ponies," Celestia said gently. "I was just lying down for a... library nap, as is my usual afternoon custom, when all of your voices woke me up!" She looked around to all of them in mock confusion. "Did anything important happen while I was asleep and couldn't hear anything?"

Moon Dancer was half grateful to her kind princess for attempting to provide an out, and half confused at just how bad she was at it. Twilight had begun to jitter in place like a half-broken steam engine.

Celestia looked back and forth among the ponies in the room, gamely keeping her phony grin. Eventually, she just sighed. "Come here, my little ponies," she beckoned to them. "I've got a secret to share with you."

They all walked closer (Twilight needed Fluttershy to walk along side her, cooing gently in her ear). Celestia glanced around the room as if looking for spies, and then she smiled down to them. "I've learned many, many things about all the creatures who live in our wonderful world," she whispered conspiratorially. "I like to think that diplomacy is one of my strengths, and I rarely find myself in an awkward moment. But unfortunately, that means that when I DO find myself in an awkward moment, I'm sometimes left with no idea what to do." She gazed down at Twilight, Fluttershy, and Moon Dancer. "I'm sorry I overheard your discussion. When I realized what was happening, I became a bit frozen."

"Oh, that's all right, princess, isn't it girls?" Fluttershy asked hopefully. "We know you didn't mean to."

"Absolutely," Moon Dancer confirmed,

"Babzto tootin!" Twilight added.

Celestia was silent for one second, a look on her face that made Moon Dancer afraid she was going to burst into laughter. But when she spoke again, it was as lilting and as kind as always: "Luckily, I've learned a useful little trick." A dawnlike blob of magic grabbed a large book on a nearby shelf and hovered it over to them. A golden retriever beamed at them from the cover. "Puppies."

"Puppies?" Starlight asked.

"My little ponies, it's simply impossible to feel awkward while looking at pictures of puppies." Celestial opened the book. "The purpose of the book is supposedly to educate the reader about different dog breeds, but no one really believes that, do they? The real purpose is the photographs of the puppies."

"Ooo!" Pinkie squealed. "That one looks like a mop!"

"Which one is your favorite, Fluttershy?" Starlight asked. "You're the expert."

"Oh, I can't possibly choose," Fluttershy answered.

"I like the ones with the short legs," Twilight rasped from Moon Dancer's side, her body slowly becoming less and less rigid.

"Oh yes, I like them too," Celestia agreed joyfully. She flipped through the book and found a picture of a long, short little puppy basking in the sun.

Twilight actually smiled, and Moon Dancer felt her body leaning, very gently, against her own.

Author's Note

Flammable, undiagrammable sentiments pass between animal beings.

Older

Sweet Feather was bright and warm, even as night fell. Pinkie's intuition had been to not only throw the party at the sanctuary, but to recruit the creative input of the residents. As a result, the layout of the decorations and party supplies was haphazard and scattershot, but in an organic, natural-feeling way, like the streamers were brightly colored ivy and the balloons were gentle puffs of flowers. When Fluttershy had seen it, she had nearly squealed with delight.

Some of the first to arrive at the party had been Moon Dancer's Canterlot friends, and they seemed to gel smoothly with both the Equestria gang and the wildlife. Unfortunately, though, Minuette very quickly began telling knock-knock jokes, because Minuette had long since lost perspective on the line between "quirkily upbeat" and "maniacally perplexing." She seemed to think it was hilarious Celestia was in attendance, and she had marched right up to the princess and asked what was on her mind.

"Puppies," Celestia had answered, very sincerely. And so even as more and more guests arrived and the sanctuary began to fill up with ponies and critters, every few minutes, Minuette would track down the princess and interrupt whatever interaction she was having to tell her a new joke.

The weirdest part was, the knock-knock jokes were killing.

"Great Pyrenees," said Minuette.

"Great Pyrenees who?"

"Great Pyrenees is what you need to be a stocking model!"

Celestia snorted with laughter, and it was somehow more sonorous than a trained opera singer belting out an aria. Dr. Horse and Zecora, who had been speaking with the princess, looked absolutely perplexed.

"Is it treasonous to say I'm not really surprised that Celestia likes terrible jokes?" Moon Dancer asked, huddled close to Rainbow Dash and Bon Bon, watching this interaction play out.

"I'm actually impressed," Bon Bon marveled. "Is she ad-libbing these? She couldn't possibly have memorized all these jokes about dog breeds."

"Pinkie Pie is feeding her material," Rainbow said. "That 'Schnauzer last chance to get me to stop telling knock-knock jokes' line proved it. Nopony else would think of that. It's too.... Pinkie."

"I think it's wonderful that Celestia is having a good time," a sweet voice cooed, and Moon Dancer suddenly felt a fuzzy body pressed against her side. Her special somepony had appeared as if from nowhere, like a puff of steam.

"I agree, darlings," Rarity said, following behind with a half-amused smirk on her face. "How delightful that Fluttershy's party is when she lets her mane down, so to speak."

"It's so nice to see her," Fluttershy agreed, nuzzling Moon Dancer as she spoke. "I thought something like this would be overwhelming after such a tiring day, but everything's just so easy. Celestia's such a friendly pony."

"You've been drinking, huh?" Rainbow asked.

When drunk, Fluttershy acted much the same as she usually did, but she apparently developed the uncontrollable desire to force her own body and Moon Dancer's body to occupy the same physical space. Moon Dancer did not particularly dislike when Fluttershy drank.

"Oh my... just a little," Fluttershy replied, literally draping her front half across Moon Dancer's back. "Can... can you really tell?"

"Kinda, but you're a hero to aliens," Rainbow said. "You deserve it." She glanced at Rarity. "Just don't let her go overboard."

"Angel!" Fluttershy cooed suddenly, waving her hoof down at the rabbit, hopping by through Rainbow Dash's legs. "I love you, Angel."

Angel sighed and looked up at Rarity. He tilted his paw towards his mouth several times and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh goodness gracious everyone, she's fine," Rarity said, very slight annoyance in her tone. "Fluttershy can have a drink on her own birthday."

Angel was already hopping away in a huff, but Rainbow shook her head. "I just don't want her to fall asleep at her party."

"Yes, I do get sleepy when I drink," Fluttershy agreed.

"Well, I wouldn't blame you, darling," Rarity said. "I could never understand the challenges you face as a gay mare, but everypony is in such awe of the strength you've shown today."

This reminded Moon Dancer; she checked around the room for the two ponies she was concerned about. She quickly found Trixie, babbling smugly to a bewildered-looking Zephyr Breeze. But that was all. "Hey, where's Starlight?" she asked.

"She and Twilight had to run back to the castle," Rainbow replied. "And look, relax! She's not gonna hook up with Trixie."

"I dunno..."

"Oh, come on. Trixie? The whole idea of anypony being into Trixie is just too weird."

Moon Dancer felt awkward all of a sudden. "Moon Dancer's going to go on a date with Trixie in another dimension!" Fluttershy announced happily, increasing the awkward feeling considerably. "Isn't that cute?"

Bon Bon raised an eyebrow. "Um..."

"The human Moon Dancer and the human Trixie were acting like they might go on a date when we left," Moon Dancer clarified.

"That is quite cute," Rarity confirmed, directing a sly smirk directly over Moon Dancer's head and probably receiving a wink in return. "I can see Moon Dancer as quite the ladykiller if Fluttershy hadn't snatched her up."

This was getting uncomfortable, but luckily Lyra arrived, hovering along a plate of hors d'ouvers, which she passed to Bon Bon. "Sorry this took a while," she said. "I was meeting some of Fluttershy's friends. Had a pretty decent conversation with that earth pony with the dreadlocks, and a... less decent conversation with an aye-aye."

Fluttershy was now entirely on top of Moon Dancer, draped across her like a cloak. As much as see could see them through the strands of pink mane covering her face, Moon Dancer was relieved to find that none of their friends found this particularly notable."That aye-aye is actually really nice if you get to know him," she said.

Suddenly, there was a commotion near the edge of the garden, and they turned to see Starlight Glimmer galloping excitedly into the party. She ran past surprised guests to the group of her gathered friends. "Girls!" she chirped. "I have amazing news!"

Twilight Sparkle and Spike followed behind her, looking much less confident. "Hey, um..."

"We checked the journal," Starlight babbled. "Sunset wrote an update just a few minutes ago. And something happened!"

Several other partygoers had stopped their various conversations and were listening to determine what the fuss was. Twilight glanced around at them nervously. "Uh, Starlight..."

"Fluttershy, the human one?" Starlight continued. "She has a girlfriend!!"

Moon Dancer nearly tipped over in her surprise. "Oh my goodness!" pony Fluttershy exclaimed from atop her back. "But how? It's only been a few hours since we left!"

More and more guests were listening in; Moon Dancer noticed both Applejack and Pinkie were among them. Twilight stepped forward, trying to gain some degree of control over the situation. "Um... Sunset says that Fluttershy had a crush on... a particular other human," she answered carefully. "And she asked to speak with her alone and... she just confessed, I guess. And it turned out the feelings were reciprocated."

"Yes yes yes!" Starlight barked impatiently. "But that's not the most exciting part! You'll never guess who it is! Seriously, you will never, ever guess. Here's a hint: it's adorable. Here's another hint: you'll never guess it."

"Um, Starlight?" Twilight said, leaning over with concern. "Uh, I don't think we should say? It's... um, see this is kind of a moral dilemma, and..."

"It's Rarity!!"

The silence that followed was only broken by the clop of Starlight's hooves as she hopped up and down in glee. The entire party stared at Rarity, who stood, frozen, her mouth hanging open. "I..." she said eventually, and that was all she could manage for a moment. When she found her voice, it came out hoarse. "Starlight, this is not good news at all!"

Starlight tilted her head, genuinely confused. "But why?"

"I just simply can't believe my human counterpart would be so cruel as to lie to her friend about having feelings for her." Rarity grimaced. "That would be a horrid thing to do."

"Yeah, so you'd never do it," Starlight pointed out.

Rarity shook her head. "But something else must be happening!" she protested. "Because I'm not..."

"Sunset said she walked in on them by accident," Starlight interrupted. "And she said they both seemed prettttty into it."

Rarity looked around the room as if physically trying to find the words she was searching for. "I would never... hm." She frowned thoughtfully, paused a moment, and then suddenly shook her head again, as if trying to empty it out. "No! This is utterly ridiculous; I'm a straight pony!"

"Oh oh oh, that's the best part!" Starlight sang. "That Rarity always went around insisting she was totally straight, just like you do! She had no idea! Isn't it..."

With a grunt of frustration, Twilight encased Starlight in a mauve bubble. Starlight kept yammering, but no sound penetrated Twilight's magic.

Rarity, for her part, just looked baffled. "I couldn't possibly..." she muttered. "Because... even if somepony like Fluttershy were to take me aside and just throw herself at me, I... hrm." She looked down at the ground, deep in thought, and did not move for a moment. "That was just admiration, yes?" she mumbled. "And that time with Four Leaf doesn't count, that was at camp..."

Celestia stepped forward, graceful in the awkwardness. "My little pony," she offered, "is there anything I can do for you?"

Rarity suddenly jerked her head up, looking stark and determined. "No, Princess, but thank you." She walked up to Moon Dancer and addressed the Fluttershy on her back. "Dear, would you mind terribly if I left your party early? I think I may need to go home and engage in some... introspection."

"Oh no, of course not," Fluttershy said gently.

"The introspection will involve terribly cheap red wine," Rarity clarified.

Twilight hesitantly walked up behind her friend. "Uh, Rarity, are you okay? Like..." she gave a glare to Starlight, who had apparently not yet noticed nopony could hear her yet, "...embarrassed or anything?"

Rarity shook her head. "Mostly just shell-shocked at the moment, dear. I will probably be embarrassed tomorrow, because I think it's likely I will end up feeling every possible emotion at some point in the next twenty-four hours."

"Do you need to talk to somepony?" Moon Dancer asked, surprising herself.

Rarity looked startled for a moment herself, but then she relaxed. "No, please enjoy the party. I may take you up on that later, however." She turned. "Pinkie, will you please walk me to the exit? I couldn't possibly leave without complimenting you on this delightful party."

Pinkie sprang into action and the two of them walked away past Starlight, who was angrily but silently banging on the walls of the bubble she was trapped in. Pinkie was bouncing happily, and Rarity had her head held determinedly high.

Tension drained from the situation, but without the party's leader, nopony quite knew how to transition from such an awkward moment. Even Discord looked gobsmacked. Everyone stood and glanced around at one another silently, except for Starlight, who had conjured a cannon and was filling it up with gunpowder.

Luckily, one pony in attendance could always come up with something to say. A grinning, blue face slowly rose up above the crowd.

"Knock knock."

Moon Dancer stood alone, looking up at the night sky through the sanctuary's trees. She had always liked Sweet Feather; besides Fluttershy's obvious love for the sanctuary, it was where they'd had their first kiss. The party was loud and bright behind her, but here she felt like some kind of nocturnal animal, just crawling around and being at home.

"Whoo."

She looked over and saw an owl perched on a nearby branch. Looking closer, she realized it was Twilight's pet. She raised a hoof and waved, then felt silly for doing so. Despite the fact that his eyeballs were locked in place in his sockets, the owl somehow rolled his eyes at her.

"Hey, Moon Dancer."

Moon Dancer turned to see a baby dragon jogging down the path toward her. "Oh, hi, Spike."

Spike reached her and tilted his head in vague confusion. "You okay? I noticed you kinda disappeared from the party, so I came to find you."

"Oh, yeah." She was touched by his gesture; he'd grown up more in Ponyville than in all the years they had spent together in Canterlot. "I just came out to get a little bit of a break from the crowd."

"Oh yeah. I get it. Taking it easy." They stood silently in the moonlight together for a moment.

"Hey, so." His voice was hesitant, and he shuffled back and forth on his feet. "I just wanted to say, I'm really glad you and Twilight were able to make up after your fight." He paused, and then quickly: "It was going to be hard to be friends with you both."

She just regarded him for a moment. "We don't hang out enough," she said finally. "Why is that?"

"The last time we hung out, you got me to watch a movie with you by saying it was about aliens," he huffed. "But most of the movie was some guy floating around in a space station, and the aliens were, like, his sadness about his dead wife or something."

She laughed. "Okay, okay. You can pick the movie next time. I promise I won't complain."

"Okay, sure. If you really promise." He grinned at her, and she felt wonderful.

She looked back up at the sky, feeling warm and calm. "It's weird," she said. "Things were such a disaster all day today. But it all worked out somehow. Isn't that odd? Life can be a total mess, and then whoosh, absolutely everything is just how it should be, and all your problems are gone." She shook her head and chuckled. "I kind of can't believe it. Absolutely everything worked out!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "That... seems like kind of a dangerous thing to say, doesn't it?"

"But it's true!" Moon Dancer felt oddly gleeful. "Everypony is safe. Me and Twilight made up. The human Fluttershy came out and has a girlfriend. Pinkie's party is going great. Everything I had been worried about was totally taken care of."

Spike shrugged. "I guess it just works out that way sometimes." He pointed back over his shoulder. "You ready to head back? Fluttershy was going to open her presents."

Moon Dancer's brain exploded.

It took her a moment to realize exactly why she had such a strong reaction to that word, 'presents.' It kind of just sounded like two random syllables shoved together, completely devoid of meaning. Was that even a word? Was it some sort of profanity?

Slowly it dawned on her, in stages. "I left getting Fluttershy's present to the last minute." Then, "A million disasters happened." Then, "I completely forgot." Then, "I never ended up getting her a present." And finally, "I am the worst pony in Equestria I did not get Fluttershy a birthday present."

"That present you got her is really impressive-looking," Spike remarked, beginning to lope back toward the party. "Nice wrapping job."

Moon Dancer slowly blinked. She realized what Spike had just said, and and numbly followed behind him. "Um," she said.

Why would Spike think there was a gift from her? He had to just be mistaken, but what a strange and specific mistake to make. Had she somehow bought one and forgotten?

They arrived at the party to see the central table piled with cheerful gift packages. Pinkie literally danced in a circle around it, singing a song about how the real present is friendship or something, and Fluttershy stood nearby, eating a slice of cake and looking happy. Moon Dancer sidled up next to her, receiving a grin and a snuggle in response, and she tried to surreptitiously scope out the gifts.

But almost immediately, Pinkie's song ended and she bounced over to Fluttershy to deliver a rather large, cube-shaped box with a cheerful bow and a large card hanging off the side. "Yay, Moon Dancer's back!" Pinkie cheered. "Now we can open presents! Open hers first, open hers first!"

Moon Dancer looked closer. The card clearly displayed TO: and then a crude but recognizable representation of Fluttershy's cutie-mark, and then LOVE: and an obvious portrait of a yellow-haired, red-maned pony with dark-rimmed glasses.

She had not done this and then forgotten. Someone else did this.

Fluttershy fussed over the present, trying, as always, to open it without tearing the paper. Moon Dancer glanced around at the crowd. Everyone, from Discord to Celestia to Zecora to Twilight, was just watching with happy smiles and laughing, chatting faces.

Except, there was one pair of eyes that did not look happy at all. One pair of beady little eyes that just stared at Moon Dancer impassively. Rabbit eyes.

"Oh my," Fluttershy was saying, "Whatever this is, it's so nice, Moon Dancer. You know, you didn't have to get me anything, I just..." she trailed off and then leaned in to whisper in Moon Dancer's ear: "...I just think you're the best present I could ever get."

Moon Dancer's mouth fell open, and she stared into Fluttershy's warm eyes for a moment. She not only forgot what she was upset about, she forgot what being upset felt like at all.

Fluttershy blushingly focused back on the present and managed to remove the ribbon. "Goodness, what could it be?" she asked rhetorically. She uncovered more and more of the gift, exposing the shiny box that displayed the product's name in garish, white letters: "KarrotBear 5000."

Fluttershy stared. "It's... a carrot smoothie maker...?"

In response, Moon Dancer smiled hugely and fakely, but her eyes found Angel's, standing in the crowd, still staring. He smirked.

"Oh, Moon Dancer..." Fluttershy suddenly lunged forward, wrapping her hooves around her special somepony. "I love carrot smoothies! And they take so long to make!" She squeezed. "This is such a wonderful and perfect gift!"

Moon Dancer, bewildered, returned the embrace. She looked over at Angel, who stood still among ponies oohing and cooing over the cuteness of the party's central couple. He reached out and pointed at Moon Dancer.

"Thank you," she mouthed.

He rolled his eyes, turned, and hopped away into the crowd.

"I love you," Fluttershy murmured softly into her ear, and then that was all Moon Dancer could focus on.

"I love you too," she said. "So much."

It was several hours before Moon Dancer broke. They were at her house and just about to lie down in bed, when she suddenly burst out, "I didn't get you the smoothie machine! Angel got it and said it was from me!"

Fluttershy stared blankly at her for a moment and then yawned. "I know, honey," she said. She lifted the covers and got into bed. "He cut the ad for it out of my magazine, and he always draws my cutie mark the same way."

Moon Dancer gaped. "You knew? But..."

Fluttershy patted the bed next to her. Moon Dancer numbly climbed in and felt herself being glommed onto. "You were so worried about getting something, I'm just glad you didn't feel awkward about it at the party," Fluttershy said. "I do love the present. And Angel's gesture... it means he's accepted you. You're family." She giggled softly. "That's nice."

Moon Dancer couldn't help the smile that came to her face. "Yeah." They breathed together for a moment, and then Moon Dancer remembered something. "Oh, I lost track of Starlight and Trixie at the party. Did they end up leaving together?"

"No, Trixie talked to Zephyr most of the night," Fluttershy answered sleepily. "Starlight was drinking quite a bit, but she didn't leave with Trixie. Um...." Her voice wavered slightly. "But... I think she actually might have sneaked off to Rarity's house."

Moon Dancer froze for a moment, then just sighed. "Everypony will be fine, I know, but it's like watching the world's most awkward cart-crash happening in slow motion."

"Are you really very worried about Starlight?"

"No, I just..." Moon Dancer thought a moment. "I love your and Twilight's friends, but I feel like I click with the group Starlight hangs out with, you know? The oddballs. I feel for her."

Fluttershy nodded, still snuggling up. "It's really nice they have you," she said simply.

They lay together, nearly dozing, and then Fluttershy spoke up again. "I feel weird about Rarity."

"Hm?" Moon Dancer looked over, raising an eyebrow. "Weird how?"

"She's been so supportive," Fluttershy replied hesitantly. "But... she has acted strange sometimes, too. Insisting I used to have a crush on her, acting a little bit critical of ponies I liked..."

"Um, yeah, because she was obviously totally into you and didn't even know it."

Fluttershy probably found it too embarrassing to verbally agree, but she nodded. "I'm not a...attracted to her, but I probably would have been a few years ago if she had been, um, out. Is that okay?"

Moon Dancer smiled warmly and smooched her special somepony on the forehead. "Of course. It would be okay if you were attracted to her now. We'd just use that secret relationship weapon you taught me that fixes all the problems: we'd communicate about it."

Fluttershy returned the kiss, this time on Moon Dancer's cheek. "Okay. But, it makes me feel weird. Because... maybe we'd have started dating if she hadn't been repressing it. But I think I'm so much happier with you than I would be with her, so I'm kind of... grateful she was in the closet. Even though it was bad for her."

Moon Dancer found herself frowning. "Fluttershy..."

"Am I a bad..." And then Fluttershy stopped herself short. She took a deep breath, then looked Moon Dancer straight in the face. "No. Sorry. That's not helpful. Will you just let me know if you see me... not being as supportive as I could be? I'll try, but just so I can be sure."

"Of course." Moon Dancer smiled warmly. "And I get it. I can't tell you how relieved I am that Twilight is straight. I dodged a big bullet, there." She stuck out a tongue. "It would have been like making out with myself. Yuck."

Fluttershy giggled, then she pulled back and stared her special somepony in the face. "I am really, really sleepy," she said. "But... do you think you and I could... just spend the day here tomorrow? Applejack said she'd go to my cottage to feed the animals."

Moon Dancer smirked. "All day? Just here? How will we pass the time?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I really am too sleepy to flirt right now. You know exactly how we're going to pass the time." She couldn't get through it without the slightest tinge of a blush coloring her cheeks, but otherwise it was just a plain statement of fact.

In response, Moon Dancer just pulled her down into their common sleeping position: nuzzled together with Fluttershy's head resting against her chest. They breathed together, slowly, gently.

"I read a lot," Moon Dancer said, after a moment. "History and biographies and novels." She paused. "I could list dozens and dozens of heroes and legends and monarchs. But you..." She closed her eyes and felt Fluttershy's slow breathing. "...You are the bravest, strongest pony I have ever even heard of. I am just hopelessly lucky to love you. Do you know that?"

Fluttershy did not reply. But the head nestled against Moon Dancer's neck was answer enough.

Author's Note

And now you're even older.

Damn Good Times

Fluttershy thought about flamingos.

They gather in giant, colorful, chaotic mobs, filling up lagoons with their wild, loud chaos. Each individual is so pretty and dainty, but at the same time, they squawk and flap around and are just... silly. Beautiful, lithe ballerinas, squishing around in the mud.

She thought about flamingos because... well...

"Just turn the sheet in, Twilight," Starlight said. "We're destroying the other teams. It's not even mathematically possible for them to win. That one question won't make a difference."

"Trivia is very serious!" Twilight responded, legitimately offended. "I know this, I'm just blanking on the donkey's name. It's something like... Mailbox Head? Moon Dancer, does that sound right?"

Moon Dancer just sipped her beer and smirked. "Maybe, maybe not."

Starlight grunted, grabbing the paper and quill with a blob of magic. "Oh, for... Just let Moon Dancer answer it, Twilight." Despite the alicorn's protests, Starlight placed the paper in front of Moon Dancer, who wrote a name on the parchment, literally feigning a yawn as she did so.

Twilight glared. Starlight rolled her eyes. "Oh no, Moon Dancer knows fifty things, and you only know forty-nine things. It's a catastrophe." She picked up the parchment and toted it off to the triviamaster for scoring.

"I know the answer!" Twilight called after her. "I just can't exactly remember the name!" Moon Dancer's smirk got bigger.

Fluttershy reached over and put her hoof on top of Twilight's. "I believe you, Twilight. I know it's frustrating to not be able to remember something."

Twilight sighed. Starlight returned to the table, and soon after, the fifth member of their team came back from chatting with an acquaintance near the bar. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to let myself get pulled away," Rarity greeted, politely and calmly. "Are we still doing the little trivia thing?"

"We just turned in the sheet for the last round," Moon Dancer replied. "I'm pretty sure we got all the answers right. Thanks to... some of us, more than others."

Twilight huffed.

Rarity nodded, almost certainly no longer listening.

Moon Dancer leaned closer. "Twilight."

Twilight ignored her.

"Twilight."

"What."

"I have to tell you something."

Despite herself, Twilight looked dryly at her friend.

Moon Dancer grinned slyly. "His name really was Mailbox Head."

"What??" Laughing, Twilight pounced on Moon Dancer, poking her with her hooves. "You made me think I didn't know it!"

"I had to seize the opportunity!"

As they playfully wrestled, the other three members of the team watched with vaguely amused tolerance. Rarity glanced at the other two. "I admit that I didn't think this could be so exciting for anypony."

Futtershy smiled to herself, noting that Rarity and Starlight were fully able to maintain eye contact with one another, again. "Moon Dancer always gets this excited. I thought you two wouldn't be so interested in trivia, but when Bon Bon and Lyra said they couldn't make it this week, I kind of needed to find some more ponies who didn't care much."

"Indeed, I can't get into the game, but it's so lovely to spend an evening with friends, no matter what," Rarity agreed, tipping her glass of wine slightly. "And... please don't think your gesture has gone unnoticed. Of inviting us to your trivia night, which was the regular outing with your..." She coughed lightly. "...Your friends who are of a particular orientation and lifestyle."

Fluttershy blinked innocently, tilting her head in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"Thanks for inviting us to your gay thing," Starlight answered brusquely, though she was blushing. "And thanks for inviting Twilight too, so it wouldn't feel like a double date." Rarity nodded at that enthusiastically.

Fluttershy smiled genuinely. "Oh! Of course, we just wanted to support you both."

Rarity took a deep breath, relaxing her body slightly. "And we appreciate it, darling. I'm trying to be less bashful about it, but it's difficult."

At that moment, the triviamaster spoke through his magical microphone again: "Okay, everypony, I've finished scoring the answers to the final round. And the winners, once again with a perfect ten out of ten..." He paused awkwardly as he had habitually done just before speaking their team's name all night. "...'Four Queer Ponies And Twilight.'"

"Yes!!" Rarity shrieked, rearing up and stomping both of her front hooves onto their table. "Take that, you heteronormative boors!"

After a moment of aggressive panting, she opened her eyes and seemed to realize where she was. She emitted a nervous titter, daintily stepped down from the table, and took a gentle sip from her wine glass.

"There you go," the triviamaster said dryly. "It's not a hot night at the Pub Palomino until somepony calls somepony else a heteronormative boor. Well, let's please give a round of applause to our winners, and remember to tip your waitstaff and bartenders generously. I'll see you here next week." He magicked down his microphone as ponies around the bar stomped dutifully for the victors.

Fluttershy smiled at Moon Dancer who, as always, was at the mercy of some kind of adrenaline high from expressing so much knowledge. But before she could say anything, Rarity walked over and nudged Twilight. "What about him, darling?"

Twilight blinked. She glanced where Rarity was indicating, then looked back blankly. "The trivia guy? What about him?"

"Do you think he's handsome?"

Twilight blushed. "Are we really doing this?"

"You said you'd point out at least one pony who caught your eye, and the night's almost over! We have to build up your confidence." She grinned. "I admit, if I wasn't currently more interested in... exploring other arenas, I might want to pursue him, myself."

Twilight looked at the trivia guy chatting with the bartender. She considered his tight, button-up shirt, fashionable glasses, curly brown mane, and simultaneously carefully styled and bushy beard. "I mean... I guess he has kind of a... Trenderhoofy appeal." She shrugged. "Okay. Yes. I think he's handsome. " A very slight blush colored her cheeks. "He's probably read a lot. We'd be able to have good conversations."

"He reminds me of Moon Dancer!" Starlight chirped, which was perhaps the single worst thing she could possibly have said.

But Moon Dancer was able to be a bit graceful; she laughed and nodded. "Yeah, kind of."

Twilight tilted her head at Rarity. "How is that going for you? The, um, other arenas."

A slight dusting of color tinged Rarity's cheeks. "Truthfully, I'm mostly just disappointed in myself for not accepting things earlier," she admitted. "Looking back, I can see opportunities I missed for no good reason. It's a terrible waste."

"I get that too," Starlight added, leaning in. "I was scared to even think about... anything, really. So scared to think about it, I didn't even think about it enough to know I was scared!" She grinned proudly. "But I'll have you know, I talked to a cute mare when I just brought the sheet up to the trivia guy!"

"What was her name?" Fluttershy asked.

"No idea," Starlight answered, tittering nervously. "Um, actually, 'talked' might have kind of been an exaggeration. Do you have to actually open your mouth and speak to count as 'talking with somepony?'"

"Not if you think they're very pretty and you're still getting used to everything," Fluttershy replied. Starlight softly blushed and nodded.

As if summoned, the triviamaster strode directly over to their table. "Congratulations!" he greeted, levitating a piece of paper down onto the table. "Here's your fifty-bit gift certificate."

"Thank you!" Fluttershy replied cheerfully. They almost always won, so this was a typical occurrence: congratulations, thanks, smile, and goodbye.

But this time, he hesitated. "Hey," he said. "You're the team that... left the note for me a couple of weeks ago, right? About never having questions about non-ponies?"

Moon Dancer nodded, but Fluttershy couldn't help but feel embarrassed about such a blunt thing. "We're sorry if that was rude," she said.

To her surprise, the triviamaster just laughed. "No, no! I looked back at my questions, and you're totally right! I didn't even notice until you pointed it out." He shook his head, grinning. "I probably would have been really defensive about that kind of thing a few years ago, but I'm trying to be more chill, now. Besides, the best thing about this job is, every week I have an excuse to do a bunch of new research. This just gives me a whole new set of stuff to learn about."

Rarity had been looking back and forth between him and Twilight gleefully. She leaned forward. "You enjoy learning things? Goodness, that's so much like you, Twilight!" She grinned almost maniacally at her friend, then winked at the trivia guy. "Twilight, if you'll recall from our team name, is not a queer pony."

Twilight's terrified grin appeared to be the only contribution she was able to make to the conversation.

The trivia guy, for his part, just nodded warmly. "I remember when it first occurred to me that I would never run out of new things to learn. But that can suck you in, you know? So the other thing I love about this job, I always get to meet new ponies who love facts as much as I do. Forces me to keep ponies other than myself in mind."

"My!" Rarity bellowed. "So, it seems, if I may put it in my own words, that your two main interests are learning and friendship!"

He laughed. "I guess you could say that." He beamed at Twilight. "You, too? I live in Canterlot, but I make it down here to Ponyville a lot. Would you want to meet up sometime to talk about it over a drink?"

Twilight's terrified grin was now accompanied by a huge blush. "This is actually really working on me, Rarity!" she barked. "But please tell him it is far too early for me to feel comfortable going on any date with anypony!"

"Erm. I think he can hear you, darling."

"Yes, I am speaking very loudly! Will he be mad? I hope he isn't mad!"

The triviamaster chuckled, blushing very slightly himself. "No, of course I'm not mad. I'll tell you what. If you change your mind, or if you just want to hang out as friends, you know where I'll be. Otherwise, I hope you'll come enjoy trivia night, okay?"

He flashed a charming grin and Twilight nodded. He looked around at the rest of them and said, "I'll try to make the questions harder for you guys next week!" and then he walked on to another table to chat with the patrons there.

Twilight glared at Rarity as if suddenly realizing she was annoyed with her. "Ack! What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You totally put me on the spot, there! I revert to some sort of filly-like state when dating is on the table, you know that!"

Rarity sipped her wine. "But that's why I did it. Experience is the only way for it to get easier. He was very nice about you turning him down, right?"

"Yes, but..." Twilight suddenly squinted at her friend. "Hey, where was all your gratitude when I was making you go talk to that cello pony with the bowtie, huh?"

Rarity blushed (and Fluttershy felt her own cheeks warming slightly). "Ahh. Indeed. We're all learning every day."

Fluttershy felt her foreleg being nudged. She looked over at her special somepony, who was gaping at the triviamaster. "Psst. Hey. Hey."

Fluttershy leaned closer. "Um, yes?"

Moon Dancer kept poking her. "Fluttershy. Look. At his. Cutie mark."

Fluttershy looked. It was normally blocked by his hip shirt, but standing the way he was, chatting with the ponies at the other table, it was visible.

His cutie mark was a tree. It rose narrowly as a dark brown line and then spread out, dangling green tendrils, stark on his light beige coat. It was unmistakable. A weeping willow.

Fluttershy's mouth fell open; luckily the others were still talking and hadn't noticed. She leaned even closer. "Let's not tell Twilight, okay?"

Moon Dancer chuckled. "Agreed."

They leaned against one another as all three of the others shared mutual congratulations at their flirtation bravery.

Moon Dancer spoke up. "You guys are the best."

They looked at her, confused. "Uh, what?" Starlight asked.

"I mean it," Moon Dancer emphasized. "This stuff is really hard, and you're all just crushing it. You're the best."

Twilight frowned. "There can't be more than one 'best,' by definition."

"Um, maybe most of the time," Fluttershy said. "But actually? I think she's right. You're all the best."

They blinked at her, looking confused but flattered. "Well, okay," Starlight said. "You're the best, too."

Fluttershy gave a full-face smile, her eyes squeezed shut, her teeth gleaming. "Mm hmm." And she felt Moon Dancer give her a kiss on the forehead.

Author's Note

And as she leaves the store, all of the people applaud.

Everything Right Is Wrong Again

Fluttershy thought about sea lions.

They were larger than the kind of animal she typically felt drawn to... not that large animals weren't cute, of course. Elephants and whales and hippopotamuses were all adorable, and that was just off the top of her head. It was just, smaller animals seemed weaker and vulnerable, like they needed her care. A bunny was to be protected, but a sea lion could take care of itself.

The reason she thought about sea lions was because her special somepony reminded her of one.

Moon Dancer trotted around the kitchen, humming very artificially to herself. She finished wrapping the breakfast burritos and levitated them over to the table where Fluttershy was waiting.

"It smells wonderful," Fluttershy said.

"Thanks; So I was thinking!" Moon Dancer replied with unconvincing nonchalance. "I was making a list of my favorite things that I don't own. Like a complete edition of Trotarch's 'Moralia' or that ancient spell that gives ponies a photographic memory or the lost Arthouse Fantasma film. And I was thinking, hey, does Fluttershy have any favorite things she doesn't own?" She grinned enormously. "I thought it might be interesting breakfast conversation!"

The thing about sea lions was, they were very graceful underwater. Beautiful swimmers, actually; agile and swift. But on land, they flopped around like exhausted, ungainly blobs, barking out horrible, hilarious sounds.

"I think I'd really just treasure anything from a pony who cares about me," Fluttershy said.

Moon Dancer began to sweat. "Yes, sure, of course, but what might the kind of thing be that you'd treasure from a pony who cared about you?"

One of the things Fluttershy loved most about Moon Dancer was how considerate she was. There were lots of things about her that could be scary: she acted closed-up and cold sometimes; she was brilliant and educated and knew so many obscure, important things. And she was even kind of cool in a weird way, she was into all these interesting artists and musicians and film-makers. But she was absolutely never smug or arrogant about any of it. She treated Fluttershy like an expert, like somepony she wanted to learn from. It was the easiest thing in the world for her to make Fluttershy feel safe and respected.

But in other kinds of situations, nothing was the easiest thing in the world for Moon Dancer. She was so dramatically inept, it went all the way around and became endearing. "Oh, I don't know," Fluttershy said. "I enjoy being introduced to new things. Maybe a record from that band you discovered in school and was so life-changing? What were they called?"

"Neutral Milk Gazelle," Moon Dancer answered, but she did not look satisfied. "I mean, that's good and all, but... I'd like to know what you'd like, not, like, something you'd like because somepony you like likes it."

Fluttershy knew she should not tease her special somepony, but she just couldn't control herself. "Oh. And... you're just curious? You're not asking for any particular reason?"

"Ah ha ha ha!" Moon Dancer's forehead glistened with flop sweat. "Of course not! What reason would there be?"

Fluttershy smiled demurely. "Well, my birthday is coming up."

"Oh is it?" Moon Dancer barked, then suddenly paused. "I mean... of course I know when your birthday is, I just..." She stared at Fluttershy blankly for a moment. "Say, do you like the food? I tried putting poblano peppers in them this time."

Fluttershy giggled, then she tilted her head and just regarded Moon Dancer. She marveled once again at how simultaneously banal and strange it was that they were together. On the one hoof, they simply met through a mutual good friend, dated, and fell in love. On the other hoof, she was Fluttershy and she had a brilliant cute-nerd special somepony! "You're adorable," she said.

Moon Dancer blinked. "I am?"

Fluttershy daintily set her burrito to the side.

"Um. Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy smiled at her, feeling relaxed and sly. "So. My poor friend Zecora was VERY sick. And we had to find an ancient mask in order to help her."

Moon Dancer blanched. "What are you doing?"

"We read alllll the books on medicine, and alllll the books on magic," Fluttershy continued, voice dropping to a low purr. "And so the only thing to do next was to read every. Book. In the entire. Library."

"Oh ah..." Moon Dancer was trembling very slightly. "I... have to get to the castle for work? And you have to..."

"So I stayed up all night. On a giant mountain of books." Fluttershy began to slowly walk around the table toward her special somepony. "In a medical history text..." (she dropped to a breathy whisper when she said the phrase 'medical history') "...I kept seeing a word I thought might mean 'mask' from the context, but the book was in Old Ponish. So. I had to get ANOTHER book..." She leaned in close and whispered in Moon Dancer's ear. "...to help me translate."

Moon Dancer looked like she was about to faint. She stared at Fluttershy, completely enraptured.

Fluttershy smirked. "Luckily, I had another list of sources." She paused dramatically. "So I could.... cross-refer--"

And that was when Moon Dancer finally pounced.

The cucumber sandwiches had been a hit, and Moon Dancer couldn't be prouder. She had never had so many new visitors over to her house at one time, much less such an eclectic group, but it seemed the basics still worked: tea, cucumber sandwiches, pleasant conversation.

She smiled at her motley roomful of guests: two ponies, one whatever-it-is, one rabbit. "Thank you all so much for coming," she said, noticing Rarity's teacup was empty and refilling it.

"Thanks for the sandwiches!" Rainbow Dash replied, enthusiastically wolfing down the last one on the tray.

Discord peered at her through his monocle. "Cheerio," he said. "Pip pip."

"...Why are you talking like that?"

"I'm posh, of course. It's posh teatime for poshes."

"...I see." Moon Dancer refocused and stood authoritatively in front of her quests. "Well!" she said, pacing with rigid steps like a senior lecturer. "It's good to see all of you, but I invited you all here for a specific reason. As you all know, Fluttershy's birthday is next week. It's the first one since we've been together, and it's important to me to get her a present she likes." She nodded to each of her guests. "You all know her well, in different contexts. I was hoping you could give me some suggestions."

"Oh, pshhh," Rainbow said, waving her hoof dismissively. "Fluttershy is, like, the easiest pony ever to shop for. She likes anything you give her!"

"That's actually the problem," Moon Dancer replied. "She's okay with lots of things. But I want to get her something great. I tried asking her what she wanted indirectly but... um. That, uh. Didn't work. I think I was too subtle."

"Hmm." Rarity tapped her bottom lip with a hoof in thought. "Maybe something for her animals?"

"That was my first inclination, too, but she knows so much more than me about that, I wouldn't know where to start." Moon Dancer hung her head and sighed. "I had a nightmare I bought her a bear comb, and she ran off crying because it's cruel to use combs on bears. I don't get bears; bears are way more persnickety than you would think."

"You're thinking about this too hard!" Rainbow broke in, then went silent. She looked over at Moon Dancer. Then she looked at the second tray of cucumber sandwiches, sitting on the side table. Then she looked back at Moon Dancer.

Moon Dancer dutifully hovered the tray over to Rainbow, who took three sandwiches. Angel Bunny grabbed one too, tossing the bread on the ground and munching grouchily on the cucumber.

"Anyway, you're thinking about it too hard," Rainbow continued. "It doesn't have to be perfect, just do your best and she'll love it."

"I know what you should get her!" Discord suddenly shouted, startling everyone else in the room. He gazed at them, a delighted smile on his face. "A spoon."

They all just stared at him in bemusement. He pointed, "Like that one, on the table." They looked at the spoon, which was completely mundane.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Yeahhh, so... why?"

"Because that spoon..." Discord paused for dramatic effect, "...can talk."

There was a pause. Moon Dancer turned to her other guests. "So anyway..."

"Hello!!" the spoon suddenly screeched from the table.

They looked down at it. A face grinned back at them from the concave surface, goggling its eyes.

"It's me, Discord!" the spoon announced. "I was the spoon, the whole time!"

Moon Dancer glared at him with the least amused expression she could muster. "Are you done?"

"I'm the tea, too!" Discord's voice called from Rarity's teacup.

Rarity somehow turned whiter. "What?" She looked around the room in alarm. "Discord, how long have you been the tea?" Discord and the tea simply smiled back at her.

Rarity took a step backwards. "I drank that tea!"

"Oooooo," the tea said. "I'm insiiiiide your bellllly."

Rarity put a hoof to her mouth. She turned to Moon Dancer, flashing a polite smile. "Darling, may I please use your restroom?"

"Down the hall on the left."

"Thank you, dear." Rarity tore out of the room like a terrified duck. Discord just twiddled his thumbs innocently.

Rainbow raised her eyebrow. "Are you the sandwiches, too?"

"One of them."

Rainbow regarded the tray of sandwiches warily. Finally, she shrugged and resumed eating.

Moon Dancer glared. "Discord..."

"Oh, come on, it's just a joke," Discord interrupted lightly. "I'm not inside her belly. That would be worse for me than for her, if you think about it."

"Discord!"

"Oh, fine, fine, I'll tell her the truth." Discord shook his head disapprovingly, but he ambled off toward the restroom.

Moon Dancer sighed and turned back to her remaining guests. At that moment, a balled-up piece of paper struck her in the face.

She stood still, eyes closed, as the paper fell to the floor. She took a deep breath. When she was halfway calm, she opened her eyes, grimacing down at Angel Bunny. "Why."

Angel, in response, just pointed down at the paper and waved his paws in vexation.

Moon Dancer levitated the paper up and began uncrumpling it. As she began to see what was written there, she realized it was an advertisement torn out of a magazine. "Oh... Angel! This is your suggestion for what to get Fluttershy, isn't it?"

Angel nodded enthusiastically.

Moon Dancer smiled at him. "Oh, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I should have realized you were just trying to help." She fully unfolded the paper and took in what was being advertised.

She looked back at Angel, no longer smiling. "Your suggestion for Fluttershy's birthday... is the KarrotBear5000. A carrot smoothie maker. 'Process 100 carrots in a minute.'"

Angel nodded again, seeming relieved she understood.

"As a gift for Fluttershy."

Angel nodded, a bit more hesitantly this time.

She drooped her eyelids, too tired to even be angry. "Because everypony knows what a big fan Fluttershy is of carrot smoothies."

Angel took a step back, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

"Aggh!" Moon Dancer flung the ad up into the air and stomped across the room.

"Moon Dancer, it's all right." Rarity walked back into the room, looking a bit disheveled but still determined to be a quality houseguest. "It's very romantic that you want to find the perfect gift, but Rainbow Dash was correct. Fluttershy really does tend to treasure anything, if it's given from the heart."

"Yeah," Rainbow agreed, swallowing down another sandwich. "And I dunno if you've noticed this, but she is completely ga-ga in love with you."

Moon Dancer blushed heavily. "Um, yes, I... um, noticed," she mumbled.

"You could walk up to her with a stick you find on the ground, and she'd be all..." Rainbow adopted a saccharine, cooing imitation of Fluttershy's voice: "'ohhhh, this stick has just the cutest little nubby parts! I'm going to keep it in a special box next to my bed, where will be guarded by a hedgehog!'"

Moon Dancer laughed and relaxed despite herself. "All right, I get it."

"Hedgehogs are very intimidating," the spoon on the table said seriously. The rest of them ignored it.

"If it's appropriate for me to say, I can only imagine things going badly in one circumstance," Rarity said. "And that's if you get so focused on finding her the perfect gift that you never get her a gift at all."

"Oh, give me some credit," Moon Dancer said. "Would I ever do that? Please don't answer; of course I would do that."

"Right." Rarity put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "So, our advice is to just follow your heart and trust yourself. Stop trying to get more information so you can find the perfect gift."

Moon Dancer nodded gratefully. "Okay. Thanks, everyone."

Moon Dancer was just getting into the groove of her writing, when the door to her office burst open and Twilight stuck her head in. "Hey!" Twilight exclaimed with enthusiasm and cheer. "You know how you were telling me you needed to get more information so you could find the perfect gift for Fluttershy? Well, c'mon, I have a surprise for you!"

Moon Dancer set her parchment and quill down, the last vestiges of her irritation clinging on like ivy. Working in the same castle as her oldest friend had a lot of positives, but pre-noon cheerfulness was not one of them. Twilight was technically her boss; she was paying her this stipend to research the Everfree. Didn't she know not to interrupt her when she was trying to concentrate and also when she had not had her third cup of coffee yet? "Really? I just sat down to work."

"You can work later! Come on!" Twilight pranced out of the room without waiting for an answer. Moon Dancer gave up even the pretense of frustration, smiled, and followed.

Twilight was humble, so when she was proud of herself, she tended not to be arrogant or boastful. Instead, she just glowed with delight, practically vibrating with glee as she led Moon Dancer down the hallway. "You wanted to surprise Fluttershy with a birthday present," she was saying, "but you can't ask Fluttershy, or it wouldn't be a surprise. And nopony else had any ideas."

"...Right," Moon Dancer replied. "But..."

"Right, but!" Twilight froze and suddenly spun around, staring at Moon Dancer with a joyful grin. "What if we could ask Fluttershy directly... without asking Fluttershy directly?"

"Um. That would... do the trick, I guess."

"What if! There was in fact! Another Fluttershy we could ask?!"

"Ohhhhh," Moon Dancer said, not really getting it but sensing this was supposed to be a moment of revelation.

"Human Fluttershy!" Twilight explained. "From the human world! It's an alternate dimension with alternate versions of every pony in Equestria!" She turned back and started walking again toward her bedroom. "I had some adventures there a while ago, and my good friend Sunset still lives there. You would love Sunset, you and she are the two smartest non-Celestia ponies I know."

She flung open the door and pranced into her room, levitating up a glowing book. "Ta da!" she announced. "Sunset and I can communicate through this magic journal. Last night, I asked her to ask human Fluttershy what she wanted for her birthday. Isn't it brilliant??"

"Wait." Moon Dancer's mind was reeling, more from the fact that Twilight actually said 'ta da' out loud than from any news of alternate dimensions. "Just... one second. There's a dimension with another, identical Fluttershy?"

"Yes! Well, she has hands instead of wings. And she's still in high school. But other than that, yes, identical!"

"Hm." Moon Dancer nodded thoughtfully. "Wow. This is a really good idea, Twilight. Thank you."

"Aaa!" Twilight closed her eyes and giggled. "I saw the journal start glowing (that means Sunset replied) and I immediately ran to get you. Are you ready to find out what she says?"

Moon Dancer smiled; Twilight's giddiness was contagious. "Sure."

Twilight hovered the book over in front of them both and opened it up. Together, they read the glowing writing:

Hi, Twilight, it's so good to hear from you. There's not much new going on, over on this side of the mirror.

"The portal across dimensions is a magic mirror," Twilight explained unnecessarily.

We're just still working on our projects for that science fair I told you about a little while ago. I'm doing one with Flash Sentry, and that's working out pretty well. He kind of still has a tendency to let me walk all over him when we work together, but we talked about it. After that he started bringing up his ideas more, even when they disagree with mine. I think it's really helping us come up with good plans.

"Flash is her ex! They're friends now."

Hey, so I got your question about Fluttershy. I had actually wanted to talk to you about her anyway, so it's a little serendipitous that you asked. But the really strange part is, you said it was because of her special somepony. You know how we've talked about concordance between the dimensions, right? Well, get ready for this: our Fluttershy just recently started dating someone, too! It seems like, on your side, the relationship has been going on longer than it has over here, but still: that's bizarre and interesting, right? Within a few months of each other, both Fluttershies would start dating?

Twilight gasped. "It's you!"

"...what?"

"It's got to be you!" Twilight clapped her hooves together in excitement. "Human Fluttershy is dating human Moon Dancer!"

"Come on, what are the chances of that?"

"Really low. Unless!" Twilight stared at her intently. "Love that spans the dimensional planes!"

Anyway, I'm sorry, but I didn't get a chance to ask our Fluttershy about birthday presents. This is what I wanted to talk to you about: none of us have really had the chance to see her much since she started dating. Listen, I know you said that her special somepony, Moon Dancer, was your old friend from school, but... do you really like him? Is he actually tolerable?

Twilight's mouth fell open in dismay. Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow.

Because, I don't know how else to put this, so I'll just write it directly: Fluttershy's boyfriend over here is the worst.

Author's Note

The healing doesn't stop the feeling.

Why Did You Grow a Beard?

Apparently, when Pinkie hated someone, she developed a sixth-sense about them: she could just feel it when that person started to get close. It was such a rare, strange thing for her to actually feel contempt, it was like her body reacted involuntarily, like the person's mere proximity was a miasma that assaulted her immune system.

So when she suddenly clenched and spasmed, that was a sign that their pleasant hangout time was over. He was coming.

"Oh no," Sunset said. "Where is he?"

Pinkie thought for a moment, then her body seized and she crumpled to the ground. "Ack," she said. Her hand rose up and pointed off to the distance.

They looked, but they could not see him coming, yet. "Okay, we have a minute, at least," Sunset said. "The usual, right? Twilight does the talking?"

Twilight blushed. "You know, it's kind of weird for me to have to be the extroverted one."

"Sorry, Twilight, but we have no choice," Sunset said. "He just... he acts different with us than with you."

"I don't understand it," Twilight said, shaking her head in exasperation. "He's always totally pleasant to me. Well, except for that one time where he tried to reassure Timber Spruce by saying he wasn't going to 'move in on his territory.' That one didn't win him any points."

"Ugh," Sunset said, "that kid is the worst. Has he said anything lately? Any change? Any sign he knows about Fluttershy's, um, secret?"

Twilight blushed, as was her habit whenever anyone referenced Fluttershy's sexuality. Sunset knew she badly wanted to demonstrate only her acceptance and support, but she just couldn't help how embarrassing she found the whole thing to talk about. "No. All he's talked about for the past week has been the big, romantic gesture he has planned for her birthday."

Sunset grimaced. "A big romantic gesture. By Weeping Willow. For his girlfriend that he doesn't know is a lesbian. That's so much awkwardness, I think it would literally kill me."

"Um, are you still planning on intervening somehow?" Twilight asked uncertainly. At Sunset's terse nod, she frowned. "Why do you care so much? We want to help Fluttershy too, but... you seem really bothered."

Sunset looked away uncomfortably. She started to say something, hesitated, then finally spoke: "I just don't like that she doesn't feel like she can trust us. Doesn't she know we'd all accept her?"

"I'm not... sure it's really about that?" Twilight offered hesitantly. "I mean... she can know we'd accept her without really knowing it. If that makes sense.."

"I guess so." She started to say more but then cringed. "Here he comes," she said, nodding her head to the side. She grabbed her backpack and turned away. "It's no big," she called over her shoulder. "I'll come up with a plan, don't worry." She scampered off without waiting for a reply.

She had her back turned to them for a single second before her confident expression slipped. She had absolutely no clue how to come up with a plan.

She needed help. She could think of three people that might be able to help her. Three people with different insights, who might help her figure out what Fluttershy could possibly be thinking. But who should she ask?

Applejack crossed her arms across her chest and regarded Sunset with vague disapproval. "I don't really know what you're asking for," she said.

"Just what I said: Try to figure out what to do about Fluttershy."

"I thought we decided there was nothing we could do about it." Applejack glanced at her phone and swung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Yeah, but..." Sunset was oddly stuck for words. "That's why I'm talking to you. I thought we could come up with a plan or something."

"A plan to what? Out her?" Applejack could demonstrate a moralizing side sometimes, but now she actually seemed outright disgusted by Sunset's implications. "I'm not gonna do that."

Sunset felt herself shrinking under the obvious judgment. "But... look, no, of course I don't want to just out her. But she's with Weeping Willow."

"I know."

"She's not happy!"

"I know."

"Applejack!"

Applejack sighed. "Look, I just don't know what you want. I ain't happy about it, either. The girl's obviously gay as a gumball machine, but if she don't want to be out, she don't want to be out. That's all there is to it."

Sunset blinked. "....As gay as a gumball machine?"

"What?" Applejack stammered, taken aback. "No! That's not an insult or nothing, it's just a figure of speech!"

"I kind of... don't think it is."

Applejack looked back at Sunset defensively. "Sure it is. People say it all the time!"

"I have literally never in my life heard anyone else say 'as gay as a gumball machine.' How does that even make sense? Are gumball machines gay?"

"I don't know," Applejack said, looking around uncomfortably. "It's just a country saying. Like 'busier than a moth in a mitten.'"

"Yes, but moths eat wool, and mittens are made of wool," Sunset argued. "But a gumball machine... it... it's just baffling."

"Sunset!" Applejack exclaimed, stomping her foot in frustration. "Now come on, this isn't really the point, is it?"

"It's actually the only thing I can think about right now." Sunset waved down a passing student. "Hey, Derpy, got a sec?"

Derpy stopped and waved happily. "Hi, Sunset! Hi, Applejack!"

Sunset nodded in greeting. "Derpy, I have a question. Have you ever heard the phrase 'as gay as a gumball machine?'"

Derpy looked back and forth between Sunset and Applejack for a moment, then looked at both of them at the same time. "Uhhhh," she said.

"I'll take that as a no, then?" Sunset asked.

Derpy scratched the back of her head. "Yeah. Uh, can I go? I feel kinda uncomfortable about this conversation, but I'm not sure why."

"Sure. See you in chemistry!" Sunset waved as Derpy walked away, then she turned to Applejack. "See?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Look, Granny says it. I don't know where she got it from."

"Who's she say it about?"

"Her gay friends! She's got a million of them. She met them at bingo."

Sunset felt a grin tugging at her cheeks. "Applejack, can I hang out with your grandmother and her gay bingo friends? I'm being completely serious; that sounds like a blast."

"Nope, that's not gonna happen. And I don't see what this has to do with anything! Fluttershy's gay as a whatever-you-want, but there's nothing we can do about it. And there's especially nothing you should do about it."

"What?" Sunset's face fell into a dismayed grimace. "Why me?"

"Oh, come on, Sunset, I have to spell it out?" Applejack pointed at Sunset's sternum. "The poor girl's so tensed up that everyone will learn her secrets, she's dating a low-down guy to throw folks off the track. Don't you think a particular little empathy superpower might be especially scary for her?"

Sunset clutched her gem. "Oh," she said, "I hadn't thought of that." She sighed. "Fluttershy's thoughts are usually too jumbled-up to read anyway, but it makes sense she'd be afraid that I know something." She looked up with an impassioned frown. "But we can't do nothing. We can't."

Applejack shrugged. "If anyone can think of a way to out her without outing her, it's you." Her eyes narrowed into an expression that made it clear her next words were both friendly advice and a warning: "Just be careful."

Rarity closed her locker and spun on Sunset in a move that was half a swoon and half a dance move. "Oh, darling!" she sang, "I'm so glad you decided to get my opinion on this. I understand Fluttershy's situation implicitly."

"You do?" Sunset asked, looking away. She had never pegged herself as someone who would ever get embarrassed talking so openly about sexuality... that was more Twilight's thing... but it was somehow different when it was her friends. It was very different when it was Fluttershy. "I mean... aren't you, like, super-straight?"

"Oh yes, of course, of course," Rarity said patiently. "I don't mean the details, I mean the design."

Sunset scratched her head. "Not following you."

"Walk with me, darling," Rarity said, not waiting for a response before she sashayed off down the hallway. Sunset walked after her, vaguely wishing she had thought of a different set of three people she could have talked to about this. Maybe Snips and Snails had some insight...?

"Just think about it," Rarity said. "It's tragic for everyone involved, of course, but just think about what a wonderfully romantic situation Fluttershy has constructed for herself."

"Romantic?" Sunset had a difficult time wrapping her head around the idea. "You mean... like literature? Fluttershy is Dr. Frankenstein, and her relationship with Weeping is the unnatural monstrosity she's constructed out of dead bodies?"

Rarity gave her a very slightly condescending glare. "You're closer to the truth than you realize," she said. "It is about the narrative of it all. Fluttershy is lost in a hopeless, dark trap. And what do we wish for when we're in hopeless, dark traps? rescue, darling."

"Are you saying Fluttershy is trying to set herself up as some kind of... damsel in distress? I dunno, Rarity, that doesn't sound like her."

"The damsel role is old-fashioned," Rarity explained, daintily stepping around a cluster of gossiping classmates. "How it goes these days is more about strength and agency. Fluttershy wants a hero to swoop in and give her the strength and support it would take to rescue herself." Stars flashed in Rarity's eyes. "Trapped in fear and self-deception, running away from something inside her that could make her happy. But suddenly: a beautiful princess appears, forcing her to confront that which she secretly yearns for. And then she has the power to take for herself what she wants."

Sunset looked sideways at her friend. "That kinda seems more like something you'd want than something Fluttershy would want."

"We all want it at least a little, darling," Rarity said. "These stories are all around us." At Sunset's dismayed expression, she waved her hand reassuringly. "Oh, I'm not saying it's good, necessarily, but it doesn't help to lie to ourselves about what the world teaches us, does it?"

Sunset grimaced. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly serious." Rarity fixed her with an intense, piercing look. "I'm very connected to these things; this is what I want to do. When a designer makes a beautiful piece of clothing, they're making a character, a story the person wants to live out, deep down inside. If I'm going to make clothes, it's my duty to help people be their own heroes, so I have to know the stories that move them. I take it very seriously."

This all sounded pretty stupid to Sunset, but she felt bad about the idea of saying so. But Rarity continued: "Think about it this way. Picture a poor, shy girl, standing alone, wishing for a princess to come show an interest in her. And, magically, a brash, confident, young princess takes notice. There's something garish and creepy if the princess simply scoops her up and rides away. But instead, imagine this: heartened, the shy girl has the strength to claim the princess as her own, and they live together in love, as equals. Isn't there something about that which makes you feel warm? Something that just feels perfect?"

Sunset nodded grudglingly. "I guess so. But what's the point? What do we do?"

"Oh darling, I have no idea," Rarity replied lightly, stopping outside her math classroom. "But I am confident Fluttershy wants us to do something." She wiggled her fingers in farewell. "Ciao!" Then she disappeared into her classroom.

Trixie spun in a circle and flung her hand up into the air. Confetti drifted down upon her as she posed with an enormous smile. "Why Sunset," she said, "how very unsurprising that you would ask for my help."

In the few seconds it took for this to happen, Sunset went through a range of emotions, most saliently regret and apprehension. "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

"Oh, tut tut," Trixie said, blowing at a piece of confetti that had stuck to her nose. "Tell me what you need and I'll do my best to help my friend."

Sunset calmed slightly at the proud way Trixie said the word "friend." She was ridiculous, but she also seemed to want to be helpful so badly. "Okay..." Sunset said. "I'm not going to name names, but just in case, you can't tell anyone what we're talking about. Do you promise?"

"Trixie is a steel vault!"

"Okay." Habitually, Sunset checked the door to the classroom to make sure it was closed, and she glanced around the room to make sure no particularly subtle or easy-to-ignore introverts were listening in. Satisfied, she turned back to the magician. "So, I have a friend who I really think is gay and very closeted. I want to help her, but I know I can't just expose her secret. What should I do?"

"Oh, Sunset," Trixie giggled coyly. "So, you finally noticed about Fluttershy?"

Sunset's mouth hung open. "What? How did you know?"

Trixie put her hands on her hips and glared. "I swear, it's like you don't even pay attention when I say 'great and powerful.'" She recovered from the insult instantly, grinning again and tilting her head in curiosity. "So, why would you ask Trixie about this?" She gasped and her smile became sly. "Oh, I get it! You want me to seduce her! Gladly."

"No!!" Sunset's horror was blinding for a moment. "No, I do not want you to do that at all."

"Why not?" Trixie seemed offended again. "That's the easiest way to fix the problem, right? Am I not good enough for her? Do you not trust me to be able to do it?"

"That's not it!" Sunset argued, though in fact there were fewer things in the world she trusted less than Trixie's seduction skills. "It's just... first of all, think about it. It's Fluttershy. You'd want to come on strong, but that would just scare her."

"Trixie can be subtle! Trixie can be the subtlest!"

Sunset sighed. "You literally just pulled out a lit sparkler when you said the word 'subtlest.'"

"But..."

"No, Trixie, look. I appreciate you wanting to help, really, but this isn't why I asked you."

Trixie blew out her sparkler poutily. "Why did you ask me?"

Sunset scratched her head, suddenly embarrassed. "I mean... you know why."

"No, I don't. The Great and Powerful Trixie knows all!, but she doesn't know what you're talking about right now."

Sunset's face was reddening. "You're... not... straight, right?"

In response, Trixie waved her arms around and a rainbow-colored scarf suddenly appeared in her hands. She held it up proudly.

Sunset blinked. "Do you just carry that thing in your sleeve all the time?"

"I pulled it out of thin air," Trixie said, stuffing the scarf back into her sleeve. "It's magic."

Sunset shook her head, trying to get back on track. "Listen, I just wanted to get advice from you about that. You don't talk about it all the time, but people know. How are you so fearless about it?"

"The performer's life is about spontaneity," Trixie replied, shrugging. "I don't really ever think very much about what I do before I do it. If I see a girl I want to flirt with, I flirt with her. If she doesn't like it, then she's obviously intimidated by Trixie's beauty and couldn't keep up with her anyway."

"Yeah, but... does anyone give you trouble? Have you ever been bullied about it?"

Trixie looked at Sunset blankly. Her eyes slowly narrowed.

Sunset froze. "....I did?"

"You don't even remember?"

Sunset sat down in an empty seat. She raised her hand to her forehead, which felt dry and cool. "I don't. I was horrible to everybody, but I didn't think..." She looked up, feeling tears stinging her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Trixie."

"Trixie just assumed you were expressing latent, aching feelings for her in a maladaptive way."

"Um." Sunset blushed, looking away. "I'm really only attracted to magic, talking ponies, so..."

"Oh, please," Trixie said, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm not going to get a big complex just because I'm similar enough to a magic talking pony that you get a crush on me."

Sunset started to argue but realized she absolutely did not want to. "You are pretty good at magic. Like a unicorn."

Trixie laughed triumphantly. "Indeed I am!" She gave a halfhearted frown. "But I should let you know, the Great and Powerful Trixie has quite high standards, you understand. So I'm sorry to say, you and I will have to remain only friends."

"I'll... deal with it somehow. But, this doesn't really help with Fluttershy. All I've learned is, if she had an entirely different personality, then she'd be open about being gay. But of course she's shy about it, she's... shy."

Trixie began to reply, but an extremely soft cough interrupted her. They looked over and saw, standing in the corner of the room, a freckly girl with wavy, green hair.

Sunset gawked. "Wallflower Blush! How long have you..."

"Um, the whole time," Wallflower replied.

"But how?! I checked specifically for you and you weren't there!"

Wallflower hugged herself and looked off to the side. "I guess I'm just that unremarkable," she said. She held a sad expression for two more full seconds, then it shattered into a grin. She brought her hands up to her mouth, spewing giggles through the room. "I'm just kidding! I came in a minute ago."

Sunset put a palm to her chest in relief. "Oh, thank goodness. Um... but did you overhear what we were talking about?"

"I did," Wallflower said, nodding. "I'm sorry... I didn't know it was such a personal conversation until I was already listening, and then I thought it'd be weird to try to sneak back out of the room. But don't worry, I'm very good at keeping secrets!"

"It's okay," Sunset said. She suddenly blinked. "Um, but I feel like I should explain about the pony thing...?"

But Trixie was already sashaying across the room and draping her arm around Wallflower's shoulder. "Hey, dearie, Sunset here thinks cute, shy girls don't like it when Trixie comes on too strong. What do you think?"

Wallflower's body locked up like a broken gearshift. "What?" she asked very quietly.

With a small burst of silver light, a daffodil appeared in Trixie's hand. She passed it over to Wallflower, who took it dumbly. "You don't think I'm being too aggressive, do you?"

Wallflower held the stem of the daffodil so tightly, it broke in her hand. The yellow head fell to the floor. "Are you... hitting on me?" she wheezed.

Trixie took a confused step back. "Um, yes?"

"But..." Wallflower's voice trembled almost as much as her body. "But you just said Sunset wasn't up to your standards. But then... you hit on me?"

Trixie seemed to shrink in uncharacteristic abashment and confusion. "Well... yeah. Trixie thinks you're cute. She doesn't think that about Sunset." She began to pale. "Don't... make this into some huge deal, Trixie is just trying to prove how charming she is."

Out of equal parts compassion and vicarious embarrassment, Sunset took a step forward. "Hey, Wallflower," she said, "I don't mean to put you on the spot any more than you already are, but I'm not sure what to do, here. If you want, I can get Trixie to knock it off. But if you're interested, I can go, so you guys can talk."

At the word 'interested,' both Wallflower and Trixie's faces burst into enormous blushes. Trixie took another step back. "Um. You don't have to..." But Wallflower reached out and grabbed the hem of her sleeve. They stood silently, red-faced and looking off at nothing.

Sunset could not help but smile. "Okay, then. I'll see you guys later." She picked up her backpack and walked to the door.

"Wait, Sunset." Sunset turned to see Wallflower looking back at her, still holding on to Trixie's sleeve. "I... um... about Fluttershy? Is it okay if I say something?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Sure, go for it."

Wallflower looked down at the floor as she spoke, but her voice was steady. "I think, if she's shy, she might be afraid of people finding out, but not so much of people knowing. I feel like that sometimes. I focus on this big, horrible moment where I feel exposed, but I don't care at all about the thing that's getting exposed. Does... does that make sense?"

Sunset considered this, then nodded. "I think that's really helpful. Thanks, Wallflower." She looked back at the bizarre scene in front of her, Wallflower smiling gratefully, Trixie still looking gobsmacked. "I'll see you guys later." Before either one had a chance to change their mind, she slipped out of the room.

Author's Note

Animals rule this land. Animals rule this land.

Why Does the Sun Really Shine?

"Well," Moon Dancer said grumpily. "After all that, she's not even here."

Starlight frowned as they walked through the castle hallway. "This is weird. She wasn't here earlier, either. Where could she have gone? Where's Spike?"

"I don't know," Moon Dancer replied. "And I'm freaking out. Can we just make sure Fluttershy is all right first, please?"

Starlight waved her hoof dismissively. "Oh, fine, but the human dimension is totally safe. Sure, there's a little bit of evil magic here and there, and there's these giant machines called cars everywhere that go a hundred kilometers an hour and I have no clue how anyone uses them without dying, but..." she paused and squinted, "...what point was I trying to make again?"

Moon Dancer just grunted and began walking more quickly.

There was something a bit eerie about the library when they got there. It felt off, like a strange kind of electricity filled the air. Moon Dancer walked to the machine in the middle of the room and poked at it with her hoof. "I usually like horrific magic-technology chimeras," she said dryly, "but this one's leaving me cold, gotta say."

Starlight mumbled something. Moon Dancer cast a quick trigger spell on the mirror, which responded with a small, electric popping noise. She frowned. "How do you know this thing wouldn't turn Fluttershy into a dog, like it does to Spike?" she asked.

"I don't think Fluttershy is a dog," Starlight said idly.

"I wouldn't want to be a dog," Moon Dancer muttered. She finally turned away from the machine to see Starlight staring down into a book that lay open on a nearby table. "What you got there?"

Starlight looked up awkwardly. "Well, don't be worried, but I think I figured out where Twilight is."

Moon Dancer walked over and looked at the book, open to the most recent page:

SPECIAL URGENT MESSAGE SPECIFICALLY TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND NO ONE ELSE
twilight hello. we need you. just you, twilight sprkale. Fluttershy is very sad. only you can help her. Come to this world as soon as you can.
You have to come save her. You, Twilight sparkle.

"I'm pretty sure that means the human Fluttershy, not ours," Starlight said, failing to be reassuring. "I guess Sunset wanted more help, and Twilight knows all those humans already, so she'd be the one to ask." She walked to the mirror and took it in. "I guess we just have to wait for both of them, then."

She squinted in a mild pout. "'Only Twilight Sparkle.' I know human Fluttershy too, I could have helped..."

"Uh, Starlight," Moon Dancer interrupted, giving her friend a dry but worried look. "Sunset Shimmer did not write this."

"What?" Starlight walked closer. "How do you know?"

"Because look at it," Moon Dancer said, poking at the book derisively with her magic. "This was not written by the second-smartest non-Celestia pony Twilight has ever met." She flipped back a random set of pages. "See? Look at this one. The mouthwriting is really good, and look at the words she uses. 'Concordance.' 'Serendipitous.' This idiot here..." and flipped back to the most recent message, "...can't even spell 'sparkle' right."

Starlight leaned in. "...Are you sure?"

"Trust me. If there's one thing I know, it's authorial voices. Here, cast a magic identification spell if you don't believe me. Sunset used to be a unicorn, right? She should still have a hoofprint."

Starlight glanced at her skeptically, but she cast the spell. A jagged, holographic shape appeared over the well-written journal entry, spinning lazily.

"Okay, now do this one." Moon Dancer opened to the newest entry. Starlight cast the spell again. They waited. Nothing happened.

"See?" Moon Dancer said, her mind beginning to race faster than she could keep up. "Not magic at all."

Starlight began to visibly sweat. She walked nervously in place. "So... this is bad, right? This is really bad. This is really very bad."

Moon Dancer looked back at the book, flipping back through the pages one by one. "Not Sunset... not Sunset... Sunset... not Sunset..." She found herself pausing on a particular written conversation between Twilight and this mystery human. She almost lost her intellectualization, but with a mighty effort, she flipped away from the page and kept analyzing the book.

Starlight seemed closer to panic. "So, some human stole Sunset's journal and used it to trick us, specifically to lure Twilight over there. But why? Why Twilight?"

"I don't think they stole it," Moon Dancer said, indicating the book with a nod of her head. "Sunset's messages are interspersed with the other human's throughout the past week or so. So unless they kept stealing it and giving it back..." She trailed off and walked over to a nearby bookshelf labeled 'History: Magical Artifacts and Charms', examining it closely.

"What are you doing?" Starlight yelped anxiously. "This isn't the time for books, Moon Dancer! We have to figure out what happened with the books!"

Moon Dancer ignored her and reached out mentally with her magic. She scanned each book on the shelf until she found her target. "Aha!" She popped her eyes open and grabbed the book she wanted with aplomb. Neighboring books flew off the shelf and scattered into the room, which felt like a celebration. "Puppy Breath!"

Starlight looked at her with complete bemusement. "...Puppy?"

"Emperor Puppy Breath!" Moon Dancer said excitedly, opening the book to the correct page and shoving it into her friend's surprised face. "The tyrant of the pegasi during the Quill Dynasty?" She looked with expectation at Starlight. "Usurped the throne from Blueberry Yum-Yum?" Starlight looked back at her blankly.

Moon Dancer sighed. "Okay, sorry, I shouldn't assume everypony has the same interests as me. Uh, briefly: We don't know much about the era, but Puppy Breath is probably the most famous figure. He lived in the palace as an adviser or a servant... we're actually not sure. But he was a genius: he was an expert at harnessing his pegasus magic in unorthodox ways. He used his power to enchant two magic items, the Two Treasures of Puppy Breath, which he used to slowly turn the court against Blueberry Yum-Yum."

".....Puppy?"

"Mad Emperor Puppy Breath, yes," Moon Dancer said quickly. "Listen, the point is, one of his treasures was something called the Leaf of Redaction. It's... well, we don't know what it was, exactly, but he used it to intercept and alter magical messages. Just like these journals!" She poked at the journal in triumph, knocking it off the table. She did not care. "That's the only way I know that a non-unicorn could do something like this."

Starlight took a deep breath, squinting as she took in Moon Dancer's theory. "So you think this magical Equestrian artifact somehow ended up in the human dimension and was recently rediscovered and is now being used against Sunset and her friends? How would that..." She trailed off, then rolled her eyes. "Actually never mind, that's a stupid question. This happens all the time."

"Yes, but." Moon Dancer paced worriedly. "I still don't understand why Twilight. I don't like it at all." She looked up, squinting in thought. "Puppy Breath's other treasure was something called The Fervent Teapot. We know less about that, but somehow it affected ponies' emotions." She grabbed another book off another shelf, flinging nearby tomes through the room, and began leafing through the pages. "Aha. Yes, as I thought, teapots can't be enchanted very effectively, because their shape minimizes the cohesion of the tichner particles in the molecular structure." She snapped the book shut and tossed it over her shoulder. "Oh, but you're a magic expert, you should know all that."

Starlight blinked. "Um... I'm still trying to come to terms with the ancient tyrant named Puppy Breath."

"His reign of terror lasted decades," Moon Dancer replied. "Slaughtered his own people." She started to pace again. "It's possible this mystery human has both treasures. The teapot probably couldn't affect Twilight much normally, but... if she's brittle..." Moon Dancer frowned and hung her head slightly. "They'd all be in danger because of what I did."

Starlight nodded, her face beginning to fill with determination. "This is a big deal. All right. You need to go find Spike and send a message to the princesses. I'll go over to the human dimension and see what's going on."

She started for the portal, but Moon Dancer suddenly felt herself fill up with a strange, unfamiliar energy; it was almost worry and almost heedless, gleeful abandon. She looked up and said, richly and sharply, "No."

Starlight froze mid-stride and looked back, confused. "No?"

"I'm going."

Starlight shook her head, seeming almost offended. "What? I'm the one who's been over there before. I should..."

"Starlight." Moon Dancer gazed at her new friend with intensity. "Fluttershy is in there. I'm going."

Starlight scrunched up her face like a stress ball, but then she just sighed. "Standing upright is hard at first, but it works better if you try not to think about it too much."

Moon Dancer nodded. "I'm terrible at that, but I'll try."

Starlight smiled wanly but genuinely. "We'll come after you soon. Keep us updated with the journal if you can."

Moon Dancer nodded, and Starlight turned to leave. But Moon Dancer felt an urge to share a last message of gratitude and encouragement, even though she did not know what to say. So she called out, "Starlight!"

Starlight looked back and so Moon Dancer was obligated to say something else, so she added, "Don't make out with Trixie!"

Moon Dancer literally smacked herself in the head with a hoof, which she had not thought was a thing ponies actually did, but here she was doing it. Starlight froze, then turned around. "...What?"

Moon Dancer's head was swimming. "Um. To find out if you're attracted to mares. She'd probably go along with it, but you guys are too close. It'd be a mess."

"What are you talking about?!" Starlight shrieked.

"I don't know! It was just in my head and I opened my mouth and said it!"

"Moon Dancer!" Starlight looked extremely embarrassed. "This is a crisis, and you go and make things all uncomfortable?!"

"Aaa!" Moon Dancer wailed. "I'm sorry!"

Starlight paused. "....Would it really be bad?"

"It'd be a terrible idea!"

Starlight stomped her hoof. "Now I feel all weird!"

"Gyaaagh!" Moon Dancer looked around frantically, her gaze focusing on the mirror. "I'll just go!"

"Yes, just go!"

She squeezed her eyes shut and flung herself into another dimension.

Othershy sat, fiddling anxiously with her hands. She had been led to an absolutely enormous bookstore: calm lighting and soft carpets and rows and rows of shelves, and plopped down on a bench in a quiet alcove near the back and left alone. After a minute, Fluttershy returned with a paper cup of hot, green tea.

"I assumed you like it, too," Fluttershy said. Othersy nodded, holding the mug and breathing in the grassy, flowery scent.

"I come here sometimes when I'm worried," Fluttershy said softly, sitting down next to her counterpart. "It's nice and quiet, and I can find any book I want." She tilted her head to a nearby bookcase. "And the animal section is here. There's a book that shows all the different dog breeds, with big, pretty pictures. Sometimes I just like looking through that."

Othershy found herself smiling at the idea. "Oh, that's nice. We don't have big places like this in my world, but we do have libraries." There was a pause; she grew slightly awkward. "Thank you very much for the tea," she added, fidgeting.

"You're welcome." Fluttershy replied. She looked at Othershy with intense earnestness. "Do you want to tell me why you were upset?"

"Oh. Um." To delay, Othershy raised the tea to her mouth, but it was still far too hot to drink, so she had to give up. Out of options, she answered: "It's just... well, I'm kind of fighting with my Twilight right now."

"Oh no!" Fluttershy gasped, looking truly stunned. "A bad fight?"

"Not... really, but..." Othershy looked down at her hands, which were trembling as she held her mug of tea. "What was that word you used before? When you're dating a human girl?"

"Girlfriend?"

"Oh, yes." Othershy sighed. "I just... when I saw the human Twilight, I suddenly realized, um, Twilight and my girlfriend look a whole lot alike. Like... a whole lot. I knew they looked similar, but when I saw her a minute ago, um. For a second, I couldn't tell who was who." As she spoke, her voice decreased in volume until she was nearly whispering.

Luckily, Fluttershy knew what it was like to be soft-spoken. "Ohh. But... why is that bad?"

"I really love my girlfriend," Othershy explained. "And I'm really... a--attracted to her. But if she looks just like Twilight, does that mean... I'm attracted to Twilight too?"

Fluttershy blinked and began fidgeting too. "What would be wrong with that?"

"I don't know, but it would be."

"But... didn't you just tell me it was okay to be attracted to my friends?" Fluttershy stood and then immediately sat back down.

"It is!" Othershy said quickly.

"But... then why isn't it okay for you to be?"

"I..." Othershy set her tea down so she could more effectively play anxiously with her hair and skirt. "Just, what if I was always really attracted to Twilight and didn't know it? What if the only reason I like my girlfriend is that she looks like Twilight?"

"Is that true?"

"...I don't know."

"Oh no," Othershy murmured. "I hadn't even thought about this. What if I think I have a crush on... um, who I have a crush on, but actually deep down I like someone totally different? Would I never know?"

Fluttershy threw her arms around her doppelganger in fear and worry. "Oh dear," she said.

Othershy returned the gesture. "Oh dear," she also said. They fretted.

"Hey!" a voice called to them from across the alcove.

They looked. A girl stood near the bookcase of the animal section, perusing the books with her back to them. "Look, uh, I don't want to interrupt this little twin crisis here," she said without turning around, "but some of us are trying to use this bookstore as an actual bookstore." The girl ran a hand over the book titles, her ratty, black sweater sleeve sliding a bit down her yellow-white arm. "Could you please try to be a little quieter?"

Othershy was utterly stunned, so it was up to Fluttershy to provide their habitual response to such situations: "Oh, I'm sorry!"

The girl sighed and finally turned around. She poked her glasses higher up her nose. "Look, I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to be rude, I'm just trying to find a really important book. It's a pretty high-pressure situation."

Othershy finally found her voice. "Moon Dancer?" she croaked.

"Um, yes?" The human Moon Dancer raised a thick eyebrow. "Do I know you? Actually, you guys do look kind of familiar somehow..."

Othershy stared back at her, then quickly said, "I volunteer at the library? I've seen you there."

"Ah." Human Dancer seemed to find this explanation sufficient. "Anyway, look, you shouldn't worry, okay? You can't be attracted to a friend and somehow 'not know it,' that doesn't exist."

Othershy noticed that her doppelganger had clearly put together the identity of Moon Dancer's pony counterpart and was too dumbstruck to be of any use in a conversation. "Oh," Othershy replied. "Um, but..."

"Gaugh." Human Dancer rolled her eyes and walked right up to them, staring Othershy right in the face. "Look, it's just basic human psychology. You know this Twilight person really well, right? And you know your girlfriend really well, too?"

Othershy noticed she was immensely turned on by what was happening, which, as someone that spent a lot of time with non-pony critters, was quite disturbing. "Y...yes."

"So you'd be the least likely to mix them up." Human Dancer nodded smartly. "It's just assimilation and contrast! They're similar, but you know them well, so you'll contrast them. You'll notice all the ways they're different." She looked back and forth between them, paused slightly, then looked away with a mild blush. "I mean, you guys are twins, you should get this all the time, right?"

Almost automatically, Othershy nodded. Human Dancer gave a very familiar proud grin. "I know my psych. Lucky you ran into me!" The grin changed to a surprisingly unfamiliar smirk. "Don't know anyone as lucky as whoever your girlfriend is, though. Give me a call if you break up."

Othershy gaped. Was this actually happening? Was a monkey version of her special somepony seriously trying to pick her up? And was she actually being kind of... in her dorky way... smooth?

And then suddenly, it all clicked. This was not her Moon Dancer. This was not a sea lion; this was some kind of flirty, nerdy octopus. "I think... I think I understand what you've been saying," she said, giving a warm smile. "I feel a lot better. Thank you."

Human Dancer adjusted her glasses. She turned back around and returned to the bookshelf, scanning over the books.

Fluttershy gaped at her counterpart. She pointed exaggeratedly at Human Dancer and made a heart symbol with her hands, a quizzical expression on her face. Othershy nodded.

Fluttershy mouthed, "She is so cute!" Othershy blushed but felt herself smiling and nodding again.

She walked closer to Human Dancer, clasping her hands behind her back. "What's the book you're looking for?" she asked.

Human Dancer did not turn around, but she held up a stern finger. "You gotta promise not to tell anyone! Both of you!"

They shared a look, then Othershy said, "All right, we promise."

Human Dancer turned around, grinning. "It's the new biography of Good Doll. The zoologist? It's not even officially released yet!" She giggled. "I can't believe it; I've been waiting for this book for a YEAR!"

"Oh..." There was something comfortable and familiar about Human Dancer's book-enthusiasm, but this was still confusing to Othershy. "Um. If it isn't released, then why are you looking for it?"

"Special promotion!" Moon Dancer replied, idly adjusting her hair clip. "The publishing company sneaked one copy of the book into selected stores in the middle of the night. The employees don't even know!"

Fluttershy walked up to stand next to her counterpart, a perplexed expression on her face. "That's... strange," she said hesitantly. "I've never heard of anything like that." Human Dancer just shrugged and continued scanning the book titles, so Fluttershy added, "How did you hear about it?"

Human Dancer turned to them with a sneaky glint in her eye. "Anonymous tip. I got a text a few minutes ago telling me about the promotion, and that this store was chosen."

The Fluttershies shared a nervous moment. "Um," Othershy said, "why would you get an anonymous tip?"

Human Dancer paused, then rubbed her chin in thought. "Hm. I just assumed my interest in the history of primatology had become well-known, but now that you mention it, it is a little weird. Who would..."

A boisterous, hacking noise interrupted her. It was a sound Othershy had never heard before, but she still interpreted it immediately and correctly: it was the sound of someone who had no natural inclination to sinisterly laugh attempting to affect a sinister laugh. It actually sounded like "Mwah ha ha."

She turned to see a very strange sight: a funny-looking, bespectaled boy with frizzy hair and a manic grin standing on top of one of the bookshelves in the center of the store. He held a clenched fist in front of his face in a pose that someone, somewhere, might possibly think looks cool, maybe.

"Weeping Willow?!" Fluttershy and Human Dancer both bellowed at exactly the same moment. Othershy gaped in shock: this was the famous Weeping Willow? A new wave of pity for her human counterpart washed over her.

Weeping Willow cast his gaze over to them. "Aha!" he barked. "I see everyone's in attendance!" An employee of the store began shouting at him to get down, but Weeping ignored her entirely.

"Let's get this party started!" he shouted, still trying much, much too hard. He threw his hands into the air. Nothing happened for a moment, but then the rumbling began.

"Okay," Applejack said, nodding her head smartly and putting her hands on her hips. "I thought of one."

"Is it edible?" Sunset asked, without looking at her.

Applejack frowned. "Yes. It is."

"Is it an apple?"

Applejack's mouth fell open. "You're right! How'd you get it so fast?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I'm lucky."

Pinkie cheered. "Sunset's great at twenty questions! But I bet you won't guess what I'm thinking of!"

Sunset smiled lightly; unlike Rainbow Dash's "soccer ball" and Rarity's "fashion," this had a much higher likelihood of being surprising. "Okay, Pinkie. Is it a person?"

"Yes!" Pinkie paused, then scrunched up her face in thought. "Actually.... nnnnno. Wellllll...."

Sunset blinked. Pinkie was not disappointing her. "Is it... kind of a person?"

"No, it's definitely a person! Or not a person. I mean, what's a 'person,' when you think about it?"

Sunset blinked. "...is it pony Fluttershy?"

"Nope!"

"Is it pony Pinkie Pie?"

"It's not a pony." Pinkie scratched her head. "Actually... I mean... it is, in the sense that everything is a pony?"

Sunset stared at her for a moment. "This is more abstract than I thought it would be," she said.

"I'm really good at games, Sunset," Pinkie replied very seriously.

Sunset grinned, relishing the challenge. Unfortunately, before she could ask another question, she was distracted by a wordless squawk, which sounded like an ostrich getting punched in the stomach. They looked to the source of the noise and saw, lurching very unsteadily towards them, a disheveled girl with large, black glasses.

"You!" the girl shouted. "Friend-monsters! I found you!" She ran closer, waving her hand in the air. "You!" Sunset glanced at her friends, who, with the notable exception of Pinkie (always delighted to make a new friend) were seemed as confused as she was.

The girl reached them and hunched over, resting her hands on her knees, panting heavily. She made some grunts that were probably attempts at words, but she was clearly too out of breath to speak.

"Are... you all right?" Sunset asked, genuine concern beginning to override her bemusement.

"Yes!" the girl wheezed. "I! You!" She suddenly reached forward, but her legs tangled and she fell over sideways with a yelp.

"Whoa, hey!" Rainbow yelped, rushing to the girl and catching her before she collapsed to the ground. "Are you sick or something?"

"My head!" the girl wailed. "My head is so big! So biiiiggggg! How do you live this way??"

They all shared a nervous look, but Sunset found herself striding forward and grabbing the girl solidly but gently by the shoulders as she stayed draped in Rainbow's arms. "Hey," she said, capturing the girl's gaze and holding it. "Everything's cool. Breathe with me." The girl's look was wild, but she gave a tiny nod and hitchingly tried to slow her breathing.

"You're freaking out, but it's okay," Sunset said. "It's gonna happen, but then it's gonna pass. Okay?" The girl nodded again. They breathed together, slowly, and finally the girl closed her eyes and relaxed. Then she almost fell over again, but Rainbow caught her.

Sunset crossed her arms across her stomach and regarded the girl gently. "They taught us how to help with panic attacks when I took a first aid class, and I think that's what you were starting to have."

The girl tittered nervously, stepping out of Rainbow's arms and adjusting her glasses. "That was new. But so is having a giant, round head, so hooray for novel experiences." She suddenly noticed Twilight, and she leaned forward in alarm. "Twilight, is that you?! Do you hate me??"

Twilight touched her hand to her chest in confusion. "No?"

The girl slumped. "Oh. Then you're not who I'm looking for."

Rainbow frowned. "Okay, really, what is going on? Who are you?"

The girl sighed. "I'm sorry about my... freak-out, this is all very strange for me." She composed herself and gave what appeared to be an attempt at a friendly smile to the whole group. "Hi," she said. "I'm Moon Dancer." There was a long pause. "I'm a horse," she clarified.

Pinkie's gasp was louder than most people's high-pitched screams. "You're Fluttershy's girlfriend!" she yelped, eliciting a timid nod from the erstwhile pony.

"Oh, my," Rarity muttered, eyeing Moon Dancer up and down. "Well, you certainly are pretty enough, but you're not very... put together, are you? I do hope you put effort into cleaning yourself up when you go on dates with Fluttershy."

"I do!" Moon Dancer barked, face reddening. "Besides, Fluttershy says she thinks it's cute how I'm all rumpled."

Rarity frowned and then turned away. With her eyes closed, she said, "Well, I suppose that's what's most important."

"You look a lot like Twilight!" Pinkie said cheerily. She gasped again and grabbed her head. "Oh! I bet you're best friends with Twilight, aren't you??"

Moon Dancer's face darkened like a coffin closing shut. "Yes," she replied, loathing dripping from her voice. "We're best friends."

Pinkie did not even notice the change in mood. She bounced over to the human Twilight. "We have to find the human version so you guys can be best friends! And she can date Fluttershy and every year today will be Moon Dancer Day!"

"She's not dating Fluttershy just because they're together as ponies," Rarity sniffed. "And unless she dresses better," she added with a mumble that Sunset hoped Moon Dancer could not hear.

"Girls!" Applejack thankfully interjected. "We got ponies coming through the portal like cats after spilled milk. Something's gotta be going on."

"Yes, it is" Moon Dancer said, looking nervous. "Um, maybe weird question, but you guys haven't seen the other Twilight Sparkle around anywhere today, have you? The pony, I mean."

They all shook their heads. "Did she come through here?" Sunset asked, frowning.

"Yes," Moon Dancer answered, then frowned. "It's... um. How do I explain this?" She thought for a moment then snapped her fingers. "Aha!"

She froze, then looked down at her hand in wonder. "It made a sound," she marveled.

"Uh, Moon Dancer?"

"Oh! Yes." Moon Dancer looked at Sunset. "Do you have your magic journal? Could I see it?"

Sunset reached around to the backpack she was wearing, slung it off, and unzipped it. "Sure, but Twilight didn't tell me she was coming. I haven't gotten any messages in a few days, actually." She reached into the bag and handed over the book.

Moon Dancer took the book, held it over the ground, and opened the covers wide, the pages flapping in the air below. A green oak leaf drifted out of the book to the ground along with a small piece of torn paper. "Huh," she said, "it really is a leaf."

Sunset bent to pick it up, but Moon Dancer shrieked, "Don't touch it!" She jumped to all fours, nearly causing her glasses to fall off, and inspected the leaf closely. "It's a magic relic! It's literally a piece of history!"

She stared intently at the leaf, doing nothing. The leaf did nothing back.

Moon Dancer blinked, then looked up with irriatation. "I keep forgetting I don't have magic. Go ahead and touch it."

Sunset picked up the leaf and felt a slight, familiar tingle. "Yeah, you're right, it is Equestrian magic," she said. "What is this? How did you know it was in there?"

"The Leaf of Retraction," Moon Dancer replied. "It lets you... oh!" The journal had started to glow, and she handed it over to Sunset. "It lets you intercept magic messages. See? Someone else slipped that in there and then they could write messages in your place."

Sunset gaped as the impostor's distractingly poorly written messages began appearing in the journal. "Someone... hacked my magic journal?!"

"I don't know what that means," Moon Dancer answered, "but sure." She pointed down at the small piece of paper on the ground. "I suspect the perpetrator tore that out of another book, which was then magically connected to your journal through the leaf. They could just write in their own book, and it'd show up for Twilight."

"Weeping Willow," Rainbow said quetly. They all looked at her, and her eyes burned with rage. "Weeping Willow and his stupid notebook."

"Weeping Willow?" Moon Dancer asked, scratching the back of her head in confusion.

"It's Fluttershy's boyfriend," Sunset explained, then turned to her other friends. "But come on, when would he get this leaf in there?" Before she was even done with the question, the memory suddenly struck her. Making her so angry she had to close her eyes and count to five. Kneeling over her book, looking up with scorn, the suddenly ironic comment, "You're not cool just because you have magic stuff."

"I know exactly when he put the leaf in there," Sunset said icily.

"Should we even worry about this?" Rainbow said, putting her hands on her hips. "Come on, he's obnoxious and terrible, but he's not a supervillain."

"We kinda meet a lot of obnoxious people who turn out to be supervillains," Applejack pointed out. Then, at Twilight and Sunset's hurt looks, she added, "Now, all I'm saying is, people change. Good people used to be supervillains, and supervillains used to be jackasses."

Moon Dancer gasped. "Applejack! I can't believe you just used that word!" She paused, then shrunk slightly in embarrassment at their confused looks. "Oh, wait, right, I guess that's not racist here."

"It's not," Sunset said. "Neither is 'nanny goat.' Took me a while to get used to, too."

"Wait," Twilight said, holding up a hand. "You're not... all... ponies over there? Some of you are donkeys and..." She shook her head quickly. "Wait, okay, not the time." She pointed at the historical relic in Sunset's hand. "Can that leaf do anything else?"

"I don't think so," Moon Dancer said.

"So, we're safe, then?" Rainbow asked. "We get to pony up and go save Twilight?" She froze. "Oh man, how am I gonna do this without hurting him too badly?"

"There's one more thing," Moon Dancer said. "There's another relic that might be out there, an enchanted teapot. The records say it could affect ponies' emotions, but it couldn't have been too powerful. Twilight might be under its sway, but it shouldn't be hard to break her out of it."

Rarity frowned in thought. "Emotions..." she mused. "Goodness, what if that teapot has been affecting Fluttershy?"

Sunset frowned back at her. "Or us," she said darkly.

Moon Dancer shook her head briskly. "No, I really think it's not that powerful! Maybe, someone who's emotionally sensitive would change, but it would take a lot." She thought, too. "Although. My Fluttershy did once start crying when she saw a cricket fall off a blade of grass, so I guess it's not too unlikely, is it?" She shrugged. "Anyway, the point is, you'll be fine. The teapot can't do much."

Exactly the same instant as she finished speaking, there was a deep, booming sound that came from several blocks away. They looked just in time to see a dome of chartreuse light begin to expand out from the source of the noise. The dome grew larger and larger, encompassing buildings and streets and cars until finally it swept upon them, whooshing past with a rasping roar.

Sunset had squeezed her eyes shut when the dome was approaching, but now she opened them and glanced down at her perfectly intact and normal-looking body. She glanced in relief and confusion to the others, but only Moon Dancer looked back at her.

Her friends were lying prostrate on the cement.

"Girls!" Sunset rushed to the closest, Rainbow Dash, and turned her over to look in her face. Rainbow stared up at the sky, an expression of utter despair on her face.

Sunset looked over at her friends, who were all similarly afflicted. Soft sobs came from Rarity, and Applejack let out a moan. Sunset looked up and saw pedestrians all around, everyone who had been out enjoying this warm, sunny day, just crumpled on the sidewalk. A car slowly came to a stop in the middle of the road, right in front of her. The driver leaned over his steering wheel, crying.

"Okay, you know what I think happened?" Moon Dancer said, holding up her index finger. "In Ancient Equestrian, the word for 'teapot' is only one vowel away from the word for 'device of ultimate power.' So..."

"Are they all right?!" Sunset barked. "It's just emotional? They're... really sad?"

"Chartreuse is the color of despair," Moon Dancer confirmed. "It must not work on ponies, for some reason. Odd."

Sunset looked down at her friends, frantically willing both her natural and magical empathy from being overwhelmed by their misery. "Girls, don't worry," she said. "I'll go get Weeping and fix this, I promise." She stood and fixed Moon Dancer with her best Leader Of A Superhero Team expression. "I'll need your help!"

"I'm kind of useless!" Moon Dancer enthused.

"We all are," Sunset replied, "but not when we gotta help our friends."

Moon Dancer nodded back to her with something close to faintly approaching determination. Sunset turned and ran off toward the source of the chartreuse explosion, Moon Dancer lurching clumsily behind her.

Author's Note

That thesis has been rendered invalid.