It was the most freezing of winter nights and ferocious winds laden with glacial snow beat down on the farm of Sweet Apple Acres. The usually-quite-sturdy apple trees shook and trembled with the violent force of Mother Nature but remained faithfully planted to the soil, even if the treetops were nearly, completely bare of leaves. Had the weather not been so terribly fierce and dark clouds consumed the night sky, young Apple Bloom decided, as she stared out at the orchard from the window, there would have been a clear, starry sky.
“And just what’re ya starin’ yer eyes out at, girl?”
The cream-coated filly turned her head to look at the elderly mare standing behind her. Her wrinkled lips were pulled back in a tight, stern expression but Apple Bloom could see the collapsing exhaustion in her rheumy eyes.
“Ah… Ah’m just lookin’ out for Applejack an’ Big Mac,” replied the filly, turning her head back to look out of the window again. Her fiery gamboge eyes stared at the snow-covered fields, finding some way to make out the vague shapes of her siblings. As she looked on, she heard her grandmother hobble up beside her.
“Yea… it been a darn bad evening so far, ain’t it?” croaked Granny Smith’s voice. “Ah sure hope ‘em two kiddos can handle themselves.”
Apple Bloom didn’t reply. Her eyes spotted two snow-covered, equine figures trudging towards the barn; one figure was much bigger and broader while the smaller one, despite all the snow, still sported the obscure shape of a Stetson hat. She let a warm smile light up her face and, while she didn’t say it, Granny Smith seemed like she understood the reason.
“Those two came up, eh? Well, ‘bout time,” said she. Turning on her hooves, she called out to her granddaughter, “Imma goin’ an’ getting supper ready. Be a good kiddo an’ let AJ an’ Mac know that Ah’m in the kitchen, get it?”
“Uh-huh. Whatever ya say, Granny,” nodded Apple Bloom, eyes still glued to the figures that were but some feet away from entering the barn. If she hadn’t known her siblings long enough to remember their distinguishing features, it would have been rather easy to mistake somepony else for them. Her gaze still fixated outside at the howling winds and chilly frost, Apple Bloom pressed her muzzle to the glass pane and breathed, taking a moment to realize how unexpected things could be. Be it Mother Nature or anything, sometimes it was just hard to be prepared – and Apple Bloom was just losing herself in unexpected philosophy when she heard a scraping knock on the door which opened moments later, revealing Applejack’s and Big Macintosh’s snow-enveloped figures.
Apple Bloom jumped up at the sight, an exuberant smile brightening up her face. “AJ! Big Mac! Yer here!”
Both Applejack and Big Macintosh simultaneously shook the strangely gluey snow off their coats and out of their manes, the frosty white snow making a big enough heap at their hooves. Their little sister dashed towards them, escitedly jumping from one hoof to another.
“Howdy, sugarcube,” greeted Applejack, pulling off her hat and shaking it before wearing it again. Even though she smiled, there was no denying that she was visibly worn-out. “Y’all seem dang perky tonight. Any reason?”
“Ah’m just so glad you two finally made it back!” grinned Apple Bloom. “Ah mean, you’ve been out for hours now!”
“Well, that sure was one heck of a blizzard,” chuckled Applejack. “Them weather ponies sure outdid themselves. Right, Big Mac?”
The red stallion, flicking some snow from behind his ear, stopped, smiled and nodded. “Eeyup.”
“Di’cha get the apples nice an’ stored in the new shed?” asked Apple Bloom with expectant eyes.
Her elder sister nodded in affirmation. “Sure shootin’ did, sugar. Now…” she swept her blonde tail at the heap of snow, clearing some of it, and took a couple of steps forward and added: “Where’s Granny Smith?”
“Oh, Granny’s in the kitchen,” replied Apple Bloom before cheerfully adding: “She’s makin’ supper!”
The words immediately brought long-awaited relief and calmness to Applejack’s face and she turned to sigh with patient craving. “Oh, supper, is it? Hee-hah! Well, Ah’ll be! It’s ‘bout time, ain’t it? Boy, would ya believe how hungry Ah am!” She stopped to see both Apple Bloom and Big Mac giving her the ‘what exactly do you think you’re doing?’ stare and she snickered awkwardly at her ramblings. “Um… what Ah I meant was t-that Ah, uh, sure am famished… Won’t y’all agree, Big Mac?”
Before her laconic elder brother could respond, his tummy grumbled in exactly the response Applejack had expected. Big Mac laughed, earning grins from both his sisters. “Eeyup!”
“Well, at least, somepony—” Applejack stopped herself and poked a playful hoof at Big Mac’s belly, “—sometummy knows how to tell the truth!”
Big Mac grunted, rolling his eyes, and flicked at his sister’s hoof. “Not funny, AJ,” he grumbled as the orange mare just giggled. Apple Bloom watched their little banter with a small grin and slanted eyes; the day sure had been long and she could use a little fun; the filly internally chuckled as an idea clicked in her head.
“Oh, c’mon, you two,” she chastised in a particularly classy accent for her age as she began to trot towards the kitchen, head held high like a true Manhattenite, “is that really all ya can do? Argue all day like… like, uh…” Even though her eyes were deliberately closed in high-class ego, she could feel her elder siblings’ disapproving glance on her. “…like pigs playin’ in the mud,” she said so quickly that it sounded like one word.
“Pigs?” The voice was sardonic and stern.
It wasn’t Applejack’s voice that asked the question. It wasn’t Big Macintosh either.
Slowly, Apple Bloom let her head down and peeked through the lashes of her left eye to see Granny Smith standing in front of her, eyes narrowed in dangerous anger. Intuitively, the filly whipped her head back to steal a glance at a frowning Big Mac and pokerfaced Applejack.
“Pigs!?” repeated Granny Smith again, her voice almost resembling a hawk’s screech. “Ah sure don’t got no hay in mah ears, kid, so y’all better be ready to explain yourself!”
Apple Bloom stuttered. Maybe there was a reason Ah didn’t get mah cutie mark in acting, she thought bitterly to herself. The elderly, green-coated mare in front was regarding her with unmistakable severity and Apple Bloom felt herself gulp.
Granny Smith tapped her hoof. “Well!? The cat got yer tongue or somethin’?”
“Ah… Ah was just playin’…” admitted Apple Bloom in a whisper, letting her head hang down once the words left her mouth but it shot right back up in no time. “Ah didn’t mean nothin’ by it! Ah swear! Really, Ah didn’t!”
Her grandmother held her gaze for a good long second that seemed more like an hour; finally, she let out a chuckle, then two and a dozen more poured out. Apple Bloom blinked, stunned. Who knew her granny had more a sense of humor than Big Mac’s threadbare doll? She turned again to look at her siblings to find her brother smiling broadly and Applejack tittering behind one hoof. It took her a while to put all of it together but, when she did, Apple Bloom too broke into a grin of relief.
“Oh, ye lil’ kiddo,” chuckled Granny Smith, hobbling over to pat Apple Bloom’s mane. “Ya sure are funny, ain’t ya? All scared and frozen like some darn apple sorbet!”
“So… uh, ya know Ah was kiddin’, right?” asked Apple Bloom, half of her mind still afraid that Granny Smith was going to lash out on her anytime.
“Ah know ya didn’t mean no harm, child,” winked Granny. Apple Bloom sighed aloud in relief and sank into her granny’s side, her eyes closing as she savored the feeling of having loving family around. Granny Smith patted her head again and nudged the endearing filly gently back into a standing position.
“Oof! Ya sure gettin’ too big for hugs, Apple Bloom,” Granny feigned exhaustion but then she cracked a smile. “Now quit with all this frettin’; who wants supper!?”
Not much later, all four earth ponies were seated at the dining table. Before them were a variety of apple-filled dishes: apple fritters, apple dumplings, apple pie, apple cake, apple cupcakes, apple sauce, apple cider, apple muffins, apple-topped brownies, apple custard, apple pudding and many other apple-based dishes. In front of each pony, there was a plate filled with just what they liked most: apple pie for Applejack, brownies for Big Mac and decorated muffins for young Apple Bloom.
“Dang, Granny,” exhaled Applejack as she observed the table, “y’all did seem pretty neat work by yourself. Must’ve been pretty hard, huh? You coulda called me, y’know.”
“Applejack,” chuckled the grandmother, picking a dumpling in her hoof, “ya been workin’ hard today. ‘Sides, how old do ya think Ah’m?” She pretended to toss some loose strands of snow-white hair as if she were a glamorous, young fashionista. “Why, child, Ah’m hardly eighteen yet! Ah can handle some work!”
“Eighteen?” Applejack raised an eyebrow but she quickly feigned surprise, throwing her hooves up in drama. “Why, no, Granny! Ah don’t recall you’re even born yet!”
Both mares burst into giggles, warmth of their mirth making all the night’s frigid iciness vanish. When they stopped, Granny Smith smiled and began to tuck into her food. Big Macintosh was already half-done with his plate and Applejack too was going to begin when Apple Bloom’s little voice remark:
“Didn’t know ya had drama, Sis. Where’d ya learn that from?”
Applejack munched her bite calmly, a twinkle in her emerald eyes. When she swallowed, she replied, “Ah dunno. Just picked bits from here an’ there… ‘Mean, ya don’t spend years with Rarity an’ learn none of her goldurn girly thingies.”
She gave a low whistle but then she realized what she had said and clamped a hoof to her mouth in shock. There was silence around the table; the candles burned dimly; the wind thrashed the exterior of the barn; even Big Mac stopped eating.
Applejack coughed awkwardly. “Look, everypony. Ah didn’t—”
“Poor girl,” Granny Smith was the first to speak. “It’s a shame what happened to her.” She poked a wrinkled hoof at her plate. “She… she sure was a nice gal.”
“Rares was nothin’ short of a jewel, Granny,” agreed Applejack softly, still seeming shocked of what she had spoken. “Ah know we all miss her…” As she usually did in need of immediate support, she looked to her side and asked, “Right, Big Mac?”
The broad stallion just gave a gentle ‘Eeyup’ before nodding.
Granny Smith sighed.
“Ah know we do, kiddo.” She smiled at her older granddaughter. “Ah know we do. Especially you of all ponies, Applejack.”
“Granny…” Applejack started in a desolate, broken voice but was silenced by a wagging hoof.
“No, child. Just because our Rarity isn’t with us no more, that don’t mean we gotta stop rememberin’ her. You shouldn’t try an’ get her outta yer mind, ya hear me? She’s worth remembering as much as yer parents, Applejack. That gal’s one of the dang finest fillies in Equestria and she deserves to be in somepony’s mind, don’t she?”
Granny Smith scooted a little closer and put her hoof over Applejack’s when she saw the younger mare was looking down to keep them from seeing the shimmering tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Applejack…” she sighed. “Ye had one of the best friends one could ask for, didn’t ya? Ya miss her, honey?”
The words triggered Applejack’s silence and her head shot up, a single tear trickling down her freckled cheek. “’Course, Ah miss Rarity… why wouldn’t Ah? She was- she was just…”
“Ah know, child, Ah know. And Ah also know her… leaving was a dang big loss for you. All yer friends even… but you… Ye loved her, didn’t ya, Applejack?”
“Ah… Ah did.” Applejack’s voice cracked but she mustered enough strength to look at her grandmother with a little firmness left in her. “Granny, look, can we please not talk ‘bout… Rarity? S-She’s gone an’…”
A hoof silenced her mouth. Applejack blinked and found herself looking at her grandmother’s soothing yet smoldering eyes. She quietened in submission and Granny Smith removed her hoof with a little sigh of… mixed emotions.
“Ya can’t forget that gal, Applejack,” remarked Granny, her eyes staring off into the distance. “She was one of yer best friends, huh? Ye just… don’t wanna talk ‘bout her?”
A small whimper escaped the orange mare’s mouth. “I-I-It just hurts… Ah see the day she… left…”
“Is that yer only memory ‘bout her?” chastised Granny Smith, suddenly glaring at Applejack. “’Cause Ah mightn’t have been there on every time y’all went blastin’ off to save Equestria but Ah sure know you’d know more ‘bout her!”
Big Macintosh pushed his plate away to focus on the elderly mare’s words. Apple Bloom curled up back in her seat. Applejack was silent.
“Ya gotta remember her, child.” Granny’s voice was softer now, more motherly. “Talk ‘bout her. Remember you two bein’ together. The good times. How you love her. Don’t just sit there an’ pretend she didn’t love ya back. Ah thought you’d learn this yerself but… well, Ah see pain, Applejack. Whenever somepony talks ‘bout Rarity—” Applejack visibly winced at the very name “—or just even says her name, Ah see pain all over yer being. Yer memories of her are filled with pain, child. That ain’t right. Rarity don’t deserve it. Remember the good times. Ya gotta be good enough for her, don’t ya? Well, child, when ya finally learn to smile at her name, ye will be.”
Again, silence prevailed around the table. It consumed every possible sound, only making the berating harsh vocals of the winter weather outside sound even more violent. A single crackle of the burning fire made Applejack blink. She blinked again and a tiny, lucid tear slipped out of her eye, landing in her laps. She looked at her three family members and the first words to leave her mouth were:
“Ah’m sorry.”
It was like the first raindrop before a stormy shower.
“Ah’m sorry,” Applejack repeated as tears filled her eyes. “Ah’m sorry, Granny. Ah’m sorry to y’all.”
Her voice turned into strangled sobs as she went on, speaking as if she couldn’t control herself. “Ah’m sorry to myself. To my life. To everythin’. To everypony. All this, it was just mah fault.”
She sniffed and tried to smile at her grandmother. “Thank ya kindly for remindin’ me, Granny.”
Guilt and heartache overcame every fiber of Applejack’s being and she shook as she wept. “Ah’m sorry, Ah’m sorry, Ah’m sorry...” She went on saying the same thing, tears spilling from her eyes as they danced on her cheeks and sparkled in the light of the crackling fire. Her body shook and she seemed like she would fall over any second, making Granny Smith stand by her for support.
“Ah’m sorry, Ah’m sorry, Ah’m sorry, Ah’m sorry…” Thin streams of tears flowed freely out of Applejack’s eyes, dripping with tiny noises on the wooden planks.
Granny Smith patted her disheveled blonde mane with consoling love and affection. “Now, now, child. Don’t beat yerself up,” she cooed soothingly. “It’s a’right. It ain’t yer fault, just a misunderstanding. Shush now, don’t cry, honey.”
Applejack sobbed harder than ever. Her face was a mess of cracked emotions, pain and tears and tears and tears. Her chest heaved violently as she breathed, every inhale and exhale sounding ragged and unearthly. No one said anything to her; she had given her every last bit of love and heart to a certain white unicorn – now she had lost her. They knew she needed to get over it; she needed to let it all out; she needed to sort the conflict in herself.
Finally, lack of breath turning her sobs into raggedy squeaks and her cheeks tear-stained, Applejack laid her trembling head of Granny Smith’s shoulder. Although her voice was rough and croaky with crying, she managed to whisper:
“Ah’m sorry, Rarity.”
Applejack had never been one to cry right out of the blue and Apple Bloom knew that. Her elder sister was the strongest (both inside and out) mare in all of Ponyville; few could have claimed to witnessed her cry so openly. Rarity’s story with Applejack had always been a complicated once for Apple Bloom to understand. Of course, the unicorn’s stories with the rest of her friends hadn’t been very easy but this one was the one that Apple Bloom could never get.
She knew both of them had been born in Ponyville but were never truly friends till Twilight Sparkle came along to unify them as the Elements of Harmony. Even starting out as friends, they both had always had something insulting for the other, no matter what be the context, no matter what be the occasion. After the fall of King Sombra, Apple Bloom had observed, the two friends started to grow considerably closer and more appreciative of each other. No longer did they bicker without reason; on the contrary, they actually seemed to understand the motives of each other… until Rarity left.
Apple Bloom didn’t know much about their friendship but she knew that losing Rarity had left Applejack hollow and miserable. She didn’t like talking about it because it hurt her to remember that Rarity was gone. Apple Bloom had always wanted to ask her so many questions but seeing her older sister in pain made her feel bad… so she just decided not to rub any salt in the wounds. However, now Applejack had understood that it was okay to talk about ponies you loved and lost and Apple Bloom hoped that meant she could ask the one question she had been waiting to finally blurt out.
“So…” began Apple Bloom as she and her sister were getting ready for bed, “Ah had this lil’ thing on mah mind for a while, Sis…”
Applejack regarded her with a half-absent ‘Hmm?’ and went on brushing her rather untidy mane. The rigorous earth mare didn’t mind getting dirt in her mane but the day had proved to be extra messy… even for her.
“Say, uh… how long’s it been since Ah and the CMCs went out a-trippin’ or somethin’?” Apple Bloom fruitlessly tried to get over her nerves and indirectly tried to give her sister the hint of what she so, so badly was implying.
“Been quite a while, sugar,” chuckled Applejack, only passing an unknowing smile to Apple Bloom before going back to untangling her messy hair.
“Yeah,” swallowed the filly, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. “A while.” A half-hearted chuckled followed. “A while… as in eleven months, twenty-nine days, twenty-one hours and ‘bout fifteen minutes?”
Applejack stopped grooming her mane and looked up properly. “…From when?” she eventually questioned the far too precise calculations of her little sister.
Apple Bloom gulped, breathed and steadied herself. “From… uh, the last Little Sister an’ Big Sister Campin’ Trip…”
For a moment, Apple Bloom could have sworn that Applejack’s breath stopped altogether at the words and that her eyes misted – but she could have been mistaken too. Nopony was a saint, were they?
Still, when Applejack turned, there was a gentle smile on her lips. “That was one fun time, huh?” recalled the earth pony with a low laugh. “Told stories, all of us… Huh, remember the Rockhoof tale, sugar?”
“H-how could Ah forget?” came the meek response. This wasn’t the reaction she had been expecting.
“And when lil’ Scootaloo got scared outta her wits about dragons!” A short cry of fond amusement piped from Applejack as she shook her head. “Well, good thing Dash’s story did the filly some bravery an’ valor. We all sure needed that with the dang flyders goin’ wild on us.”
Despite all her nervousness, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but smile at the memories herself. “Them flyders sure wreaked enough havoc to ruin three trips together!”
“Three or more!” exclaimed Applejack, running the brush swiftly in her mane. “Ruinin’ our lunch an’ campin’ grounds… Sweetie Belle woulda been dang devastated if Rarity…” She choked. “R-R-Rarity… Rar…”
Apple Bloom felt a light swallow run down her throat but she decided to man it up. “AJ,” she said, placing a gentle hoof on her sister’s back, “it’s a’right. Remember what Granny said? You gotta embrace Rarity’s memory. No use hidin’.”
With a deep exhale, a little smile graced Applejack’s face and, when she turned, she was clearly trying to hold back tears.
“Ah… guess,” she sniffled and let her smile grow a little more. “So what was Ah, uh, sayin’? Yeah, uh, R-Rarity was, uh… she was just goin’ all ‘bout inner beauty and that… the specks of gold in the cave, remember? Uh, yeah, it was a good time… Pretty and all… Right?”
“It was the best,” Apple Bloom smiled back and, mentally berating her for what she was going to do next, added, “Sis, uh, this kinda reminds me of somethin’ I wanna ask ya.”
“Go ahead, sugarcube,” replied Applejack as she gave her mane one last stroke before putting the hairbrush away.
“So… uh, well. Sweetie Belle’s comin’ over tomorrow,” Apple Bloom blurted out. Immediately, she wished she could take the words back but a part of her knew it was no use trying.
“Sweetie?” frowned Applejack. “Why? Ain’t she glad to be with her folks in Fillydelphia?”
Releasing a loud breath that she didn’t know she’d been holding, Apple Bloom let all her words flow out together. “No. Ah mean, yes, she’s happy and all… but… Applejack, tomorrow’s when we gotta go for our annual sisters’ trip! Rainbow Dash’s bringin’ Scootaloo in the morning and Sweetie’ll be arrivin’ at ‘bout the same time.”
“Annual sisters’ trip!?” Applejack gasped. “That… that thing’s seriously still on!?”
Apple Bloom felt the gears in her mind creak, ready to explode with heat. She blinked, letting out little puffs of breath. Applejack was… disgusted? The filly’s anxious trepidation was forcefully replaced with blazing, golden eyes that were terrifyingly irritated at the comment.
“On!?” she fought to keep her voice low. “’Course, it’s still on! It’s the best time of the year for us! Spendin’ time with our big sisters: that’s what we wait fer all the dang year! Don’t ya like it, Applejack!?”
“Sugar, sugar, sugar,” Applejack quickly placed a hoof on her seething, younger sister’s shoulder. “Take a breather, girl. Easy, ‘kay? Ah didn’t mean to seem like Ah didn’t like it.” As Apple Bloom’s flaring temper somewhat cooled, Applejack drew her hoof back and looked at her lap. “It’s just… Scoots got Dash and you got me as big sisters but… Sweetie Belle… Ah’d hate for her ta be left out so Ah ain’t sayin’ no or anything… but still…” Her voice suddenly became very quiet and Apple Bloom hardly made out the next words:
“Where’s that filly’s big sis? Gone, that’s where.”
“Applejack…” Apple Bloom’s voice was barely above a whisper. “It ain’t anypony’s fault. Especially not yours.”
“Yeah, but that don’t mean Ah shouldn’t be sad ‘bout it.”
“But… Sweetie Belle… Applejack, if she’s lost Rarity, ya do think we gotta make her feel, um, better, right? She needs our help – and Ah know you know it too.” The glossy eyes and hanging head of her older sister made Apple Bloom wince and she decided to try another approach. “Remember what we talked ‘bout right ‘fore she zapped out to Fillydelphia?”
Silence greeted the filly, making her anxious to fill the silence.
“We—” she quickly corrected herself “—You told her that, even if her sister Rarity was no longer with us, you’d still make sure that we all played our part in coverin’ it up. And…” Noticing Applejack’s attentive expression, Apple Bloom sidled up next to her and smiled. “Ya were the one who promised that we’d still hold the sister campin’ trips. So that she’d never be left out or anythin’.”
Again, only silence greeted her words.
Then Applejack’s mouth opened and few words tumbled out:
“Ah… Ah said that? W-When…?”
“About eight months back,” Apple Bloom offered, warming up to the subject. “Right before Sweetie left.” Applejack blinked, clueless. Apple Bloom, trying hard not to roll her eyes, just sighed. “At the train station, Sis. Remember?”
A spark of remembrance twinkled in Applejack’s eyes and Apple Bloom allowed herself a relaxed smile. She was the leader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (though Scootaloo would never admit it, she scoffed to herself) and it was her job to make sure that each Crusader, near or far, lived life because they were worth it – and Sweetie Belle, of all ponies, was not going to be any exception.
“Ya can’t break yer promise, AJ,” whispered Apple Bloom, laying a gentle hoof on the mare’s shoulder.
Applejack sniffled. “Ah… Ah can’t.” Her voice sounded defeated. Reluctant. Just as Apple Bloom thought that perhaps some memories are far too tough on ponies, Applejack spoke again:
“Ah won’t.”
Determined. Stalwart. Faithful.
All those qualities tuned in the strong vibe of her voice and Apple Bloom didn’t even try to hide her growing smile. Applejack turned to look at her little sister, stagnant tears outlining her eyes but a firm smile on her face. Her being almost radiated with unmatchable devotion to Apple Bloom and, even though nopony talked so, the filly felt that Applejack was only so resilient because of the mare to whom Sweetie Belle mattered most.
With a sweep of her hooves, Applejack had tied her mane back in the red hairband. Apple Bloom, confident in her own sister’s determination, threw her hoof back and grinned a little wider.
“So… it’s on?” she managed to ask, eyes big with curiosity.
Applejack threw her head back in a chuckle, unattended tears finally slipping out of her eyes. With a bright grin, she pulled Apple Bloom in a side hug and nuzzled her head affectionately.
“When did it ever stop, sugar?”
