crashing a royal breakfast and taking over Equestria

I yawned, stretched, and got up from my newly made nest. The one that was technically made out of my own flesh. I'd long since gotten used to the fact that I was the primarily used member of a three-fold mindshatter, and inhabited three bodies, give or take a few trillion.

I looked around my newly constructed room as I got dressed, interestingly enough, it was configured the same way as my internal 'spawnpoint' for when I went spelunking inside my skull. Pi-poster bed, snow-cloud mattress, bedside desk, desk by the door, and desk to the right of the door and bed. Otherwise, general astronomy/winter/steampunk theme, and an absolute mess. Because I might hail from before this world was made, but I'm still a bloody teenager.

After stripping back down, taking a shower and redressing myself, I headed into the kitchen area for some tea/coffee. I made this really good stuff out of chamomile tea and chameleon cold-brew coffee. With milk and honey of course. I would've had another Guzzlink but it was too early to have one of those without getting drunk in the process or having gotten drunk the previous night. Delicious culinary abomination made and ingested, I decided to troll Eris some more. Because, the duel wasn't over yet, I'd just gotten kidnapped by a... Nope... Not gonna say it. With my luck, it'll happen again and it's much too early to deal with Murphy's BS. And it isn't even a bloody Tuesday. I mean seriously, it isn't even a logical time unit, much less a day of the week.

So, I changed into my formal finest, complete with over-the-top-hat and fancier scarfstyle, I went to crash a royal meal.

Before I arrived, I made sure to correct my posture and mannerisms, donning the Mask of the Jester, one of my favorites for crashing any sort of party.

With that taken care of, I poofed myself under one of the lidded food trays, an apple in my beak, on my hands and knees in that classic roast boar position. I even had a salad between me and the tray itself! It was like the full nine spacial units for an April Foals joke! ...nah. Not in the mood. Maybe later, but not right now. I poffed back home, got back into my informal clothing, and puttered about the house looking for something to do... Maybe go visit Ponyville? Tia and Lulu over by mount Canterhorn? Try and find Chryssi? Perhaps a round of drinks with retired Fire Lord Cinder? Maybe Harmony over in the Everfree? Roll the dice and... Tia and Lulu it is. Huh.

I walked to my wardrobe and chose an appropriate coat. A stellar pattern trenchcoat and industrial goggles. I donned the outfit over my light blue shirt and pants, and for a final touch, I brushed my headfeathers into a back-sweeping style with an uplifted area in the middle reminiscent of a Mohawk. I spent the next few minutes preening(wings this big are really hard to maintain!) and generally cleaning myself up. With a final check in the mirror, I stepped through the door, only to step out of a broom closet. Guess all those people who talk about not wanting to know what goes on inside those things are right.

As I walked through the castle halls, several guards saw me and ran to notify the captain or princesses. Fun. I decided to pull something I'd been wanting to do for a while now. I wholly swapped to my own frequency, making me undetectable to anyone who existed outside of it, and while still allowing me to see them, thanks to my Upgrades. I tesseracted into the dining room where Sunbutt and Moonflank were eating breakfast together. And about to be assassinated. Fun. And useful! I snapped the neck of the idiot on the ceiling, and proceeded to staple a cardboard sign to his chest reading 'I was going to kill you'. Then I ported directly underneath the table(Celestia's pancakes, to be precise), returned to the public frequency, and phased upwards through both table and pancakes.

Their reactions were certainly appropriate. Celestia yelped and toppled over, while Luna doubled over laughing. I did a jig on the table, and then joined Luna in schadenfreude. hahahahoolly mother of frost your face!! Ohhhh... I'm sorry... That was mean. So, how're we all doin'? Frying me alive? Good, good. Burning me alive? I think this calls for a vacation!

With a resounding crack, both Princesses found themselves in one of the tamer forests of the Clayscape. And now, since I'm in charge.... Paperwork... Ugh... This stuff is friggin' universal.

Let's see... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, blueblood, no, wait what?! You mean that I could've been revising these things as they came to me!? Kibitz, you are a genius, but why didn't you tell me earlier?! Now then, with editing... Change this... Scratch that... Tax the nobles... Redirect Blueblood's illicit income into the research budget... Redirect the noble's allowances into education and science... Troll the Bearers... More trade... Better reformation systems in prisons... Trade agreement with the Changelings... Ixnay on investigating the Northern Mountains... Ixnay on any sort of war if they haven't actually done anything to us... Okay. That should be everything! Kibitz, would you mind telling me why there are fifty-pi sharp objects embedded in my body?

"Several assassination attempts, ma'am."

Ah, that makes sense then. Carry on.

I wonder if Eris, Discord or the Bearers are going to try and stop us anytime soon...
Nothing really matters~...
I suppose you're right as usual, Stardust. But that doesn't really change anything in this situation, does it?
Always the philosopher, eh Voidling?
touche'