The Dimensional Journal

by The Faceless Maker

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Self Insert, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro
Length: 5518

follows the story Alicorn Amulet's Prisoner, but from a different character's perspective.

Eris. the twin sister of Discord, a powerful Draconequus, prospective mate to Thorax, even if she doesn't realize it yet. this is a portion of her story, as told from Our perspective.

I imagine that you're wondering who We are

that is understandable.

ƜЄ ΔЯЄ Δ ЯΔƬĦЄЯ ƧƬЯΔИǤЄ ЄИƬƖƬƳ, ΔҒƬЄЯ Δ˩˩

yes, this is a blatantly OP character. to balance, I will be requesting random pitfalls and bouts of Murphy syndrome from the comment section. so, feel free to help me torture every character in this story! also, any OCs? if nothing else, I can guaranty a cameo, as long as there aren't any red and black alicorns. well, red and black anything, if I'm being honest.

Published 2018-05-21 15:10:13 UTC
Last updated 2019-01-15 03:51:17 UTC

crash landing and chase scene, warping battle with a tired child

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
boom
ow...
That was how my day started, with me falling through the stratosphere at several times what should've been terminal velocity, and then hitting the ground with a MASSIVE boom. Forgot to take damage though, which is always surprising. I never have gotten used to that...

Anyways. I got up from the floor of the rather small crater, and saw, as the smoke cleared, a very odd creature. Well. For a certain degree of odd. She wasn't any Elder God, thank Faust, but she certainly wasn't a member of any particularly common species. Well... Not if you're looking at the planetary statistics, but in terms of the Multiverse as a whole, Draconequi are actually one of the more common species of naturally occurring reality warpers in existence.

But I'm going off tangent again.

There was a Draconequus in front of me, having just tp'd into my face, and currently seems to be attempting to drill a hole in my head with her eyes and dissapproval.

So, this Draconequus was staring at me. And, well, me being me, I Anthropomorphized myself, thumbed my beak at her, and proceeded to run off, grinning like a loon.

Despite my only having one uncovered eye, I made excellent time as I dashed through the Crystal Empire's streets, darting between people and buildings, leaving Madness in my wake as I did so. Not any serious form of the stuff, just Confusion, Paranoia, Schizophrenia, and a few others. Nothing permanent though, as I was neither defending my home or people, nor was I invading.

Of course, I really wasn't surprised that the two Alicorns, one Changeling King, two Draconequi, and, of course, the Guards didn't appreciate that I was holding back... Although... The male Draconequus seemed a bit familiar... Has he been to the Clayscape? Eh. Doesn't matter. What matters is not getting captured until I know that the Windigos are safe...

So how do I do that? Simple. RUN FOR THE HILLS!! Or well, mountains. So then, lettuce begin our travels... In SONG!!

we don't know any good ones that fit the theme though...
Let's just pull one out of our collective hat, shall we?
ç̷̛̝̭͓̱͎̥̳̮̑͜ǫ̸̲̗̝͌̇̌͊͛̏̐̽͗͊͘̕u̵͕̥͊̋̄͆̍̓̿͐̃͝ļ̵͍͕̪͍̜̻͖̝͛̒ͅd̵̩͍͒̍̾͆͘̚n̶̫̲͖̩͕̹̽́̊̆̾͑̀̒͝͝'̷̨̧̡̩̞̣̮̜̻̣̬̦̪͐̑̀̐͗̄͑̒̽̉͘͝t̴̺͓̺̖͇̞̤͕̤̼͉͍̗̀̈́̈́̿͐̓͐̓̀́͝ ̶̧̣͚̞̣̪̖̥̘̬̠͉̟̊ͅa̴̛̹̰̹͂̈́̄̔̔̆͂̀̈̿̏͝g̷͉̰͎̭͔̮̜̼̜̲͇͋̇̓͂̄r̷̝̋̍̈̉̿̋̓̔́͂e̸̛̫̦͖͈͙̜̹̼͔̳̞̻̮̮͇̾͂̃̅̅̀̃̄̀̓̇̀̓ë̸̡̪̖́̽͝ ̸̰̘̠̻̤̝͍̝̣͐̿̔̑͂̈́̽̄͗̉̈̋̿͝ͅm̷̝͈̼̪̳̦̥͕̮͎̻̳͑͌̽͆̏̃̿͜ö̴͙̠̤̯̮́̎̐͝r̷̡̨̨̹̬̻͖̜̓̇̔͊͆͂́͑̂̉̾̌e̸̢̛̹̼̞͓̰̦̣̞̠͂̇͒̋̔̅̅͂͝.̵͍̘͑͒́͆͂̈́͗̃̚.̵̡͖̬̻̠͇͈͚̥̺̤̭͇̖̊̉͐͐̀͑͋͛̓͒̏͛̈.̷̢͕̥̦̤̖͎͔̩̹̳͔̼̃̿́͜
*ahem*
*heartsong*

ahh, of course she tries to have us tailed without our noticing...
Voidling, dearest? Would you mind taking out any Shades that get too close?
of course...
a̴̮͔̦̘̘̤͓͠l̵̢̻̗̞͎͇͎̲̤̫͔͎̮̘̬͗r̴̥͖̖͇͎̓̊̍̾͜i̴̹̺̤̮͖͙͎̦̻̅͊͑̀̔̔͆ͅg̷̺̣̦͈͈̗͋̓̇̃̾̿̈͒̈́̒͌̆̍̉͝h̸͖̲̘͈̙̟̮͐̈́̑͠͠ͅţ̸̰̟̝̭̘͙̞͉́͋͗̑͒̅̊͘͜ ̴̤̆͂̓̾̀̏̃̊̉͘t̷̳͚̜̓̅̿̇͒͜ͅh̶̰̯̺̱̙̹̠̟̝̰̿̋̈͛̇̑̆͂̌́̚͝͠͠ḙ̵̡̺͙̲̼̖̙̲̙̣͉̙̘̍́͋ͅn̸̬̣̦̂̽͋̚͝,̴̛̘̄̋͝ ̴̧͈͎͑͌̑̊̅͛̆͐̀̽͠t̸̨̻̣̣̳͉̮̑̿̐͐̒̓̌͆͝h̷̥̹̖̗̜͕͇̤͉̜͉͖̪̾̋͗̿̎̏̍͊̇͒͌͝͠͝͠ͅa̸̛̯̼̝̲̱̓̅͗̃̉͛̎̊̈̐̕t̷̳͗̊̈́̈̿̅̀̌̅͗̾̔͝͝ͅ ̶̡̼͖͔̤̯͈̮͙̜̣̃̆͊̌̽͆̆̂̒͘͜ͅl̸͖̭͖̫̩̼̘͑͌è̵̟͕͓͛̽͊͂̔̄̿ạ̷̲̻̳͙̒͐̎̓͐̆̋͜͝͝v̴̧̛̛̱̬̠̦̝̅̂̽̇̕͝e̵̱̭̟̗̙̮͔̦͒͋͐ͅs̴͍̟̦̘͚̱̟̭̖͈͖̙̝͑̔̀͑̈́̑͜ ̸̨̨͈̲̩̳̬̗̼̓̃̂͝m̴̡̨̞̖̲͕͍͍̙̘̗̤̙̠̀̈́́ĕ̴̱͉̭̣͇̥̱̗̳͚̣͈̰͓̄̒̽̑̊́̓̏̀̄̄̚͘͝ ̵͓͍̲̦̭̀̿̈́͗̈́͠ǫ̸͕͇̊̅ņ̷̬̞̌̀͗̄͒̈́̄͋̉͗̈́́̇̍͜ ̴̝̲̙͔̯͎̮͓̌p̸̡͖͈̲̠͑͗̔́̒͊͐̀̈̔̒̊͑͋̅͜ḩ̷͇̘͕̯͈̘̞̫̮̙̠̱̝̦̅́̍̆͗̑̇ỵ̷̢̛̮̻͚̼̮̪̲͖͓̜̐͛̊̾̀̂s̵̩̲̞͚̞̩̲̗͙̲͌̆̽͊̔͠ ̸̲̝̅̂́͗̇̀̈́̔͐̕͜͠͝&̴̨̧̢̲̰̠͔͔̟͂̓͐̂͐͆̇̕ ̸̱͓̹̙̮̯͍͈̹͒̽̈́̾̆̈́͝m̷̧͍̑͆a̶̬̦̤͆̈́͆̃̌̕ģ̵̧̛̝̞͖͙̤̬̺̩̪̩͖̊̽̅͊̿̚͝ ̴͚͎̙̩̹̘̔̃̐̕d̵͖͍̪̒̾̈̓̓̀́͗̓̋̎ẻ̶̢͈̗̲̪̞̣̰̾̀̂̕f̷̤̲̭̙̩͓̱̥͖̼̦͉̞̔́̄̌̄͠ͅé̸̱̮͕̲̰͂͜ņ̶̨̺̼͓̮̲͚̯̤̫̖̹̮͌̊͜s̸̟͓̲̪̖̪͈̝̗̬͇̦̙͌̃͘͜͝ͅe̶͉̦̲̥̣͉͍̪̰̫͍̼͈̖̋͑̅̈̄̓̈́̓͂̕͝.̵̡̬̘̤̺̭̼̯̱̮̍͋̃͒̍ ̶̡̬͖͇̹͎̖͚̣̊͂͌͜Ṭ̴̈́̍̇̅̎͌̑̋͘̕͠h̶̢͈̻̦̩̞̺̰̟̤̚͜i̷̢̯̣̯̖̩͍͊͂͒̌̐͘͜s̷̹̉̍̏͌͌̔ ̴̢̦̠͕̱̘̹̻͊͗̔̇͌̏̃̆̓̓͊͆͐͠͝ŝ̴̛͔̻̬̽̾̂͆͑͋͐̈̈̌̐̄ẖ̷̨̢̲̹̜͙͕̗̖͔̂̆̔̂ǫ̸͚̖̻͚̲̭̲̙̦̝̲̋̉u̸̧͈̥̝̠͇̖̼̓̇̇͆͛͒̇̔̍̃͠l̴͓̥̻̬̱͉͋͋͋͊̚͜d̸̨̲͔̜̠̺͙̫̯̻̲̐̀̀̀̎̈́͊̒̃̂̿̊͌͘͘ ̶̝̪̺͎̄̎̑̏̃̆͐͝b̴̨̛̀̆̈́̂́͆̓̃̾̏͝e̴̤̲̮͉̝̥͔̓̋̿̀ͅ ̴̧̢̢̖͉̰̥͙̦͉̺̙̩͋̅̾̓̆̓͗̕̚̚̚̚͠ͅf̴̛͎̥͈̝̙̽͌̃̏͗͊͊͝͝ų̴̙̥̖̼̤͚̓͆̓͊͛͐͑͝n̸̢̤̜̝̳̝̖͉̮͕̼̯̬̂̈́̿̕ͅ

After an hour or two of being the recipient of a rather entertaining game of chase, I thought I'd turn the tables a tadbit.
So, I after lost the Draconequus(really, what sort of disguise was that? She didn't even fit into the crowd) and her Shades, I decided that checking up on the Windigos could wait, and instead I went into an alleyway, and poofed up an old storefront of mine, and donned a face I hadn't worn in a while. For the foreseeable future, I was Dr. Xecorai, the Zebra Trickster.
And then I waited for that Draconequus to show up.

Perhaps a brief description is in order: my author literally stole the entire concept from Disney's The Princess and the Frog.
Dr. Facilier to be specific. But more of a star/night theme.

A brief ping brought me to lift up the black/white Joker card from the deck, revealing that Eris seemed to have decided to release a small piece of her fractured intellect...

w̸̛̛̮͎̄̑̍͌̇̏͂́͒͘͝ȩ̸̧̼͙̝́́̿̍̋͆́͋͒̏̆̚͘͝l̴̛̹͓͇̱̳͓̮͓̰̤̀̽̉̒͆̃̈͛̕͠l̶̨̰̙̟͎̘͚̬̜̝̺̟̼̝̦͂̑̽͂́͛̈̔̌͂̒͗ ̷̡̩̬̤͓͗̄͌̒̊̓͑́̽̄̀̊͗̎n̷̩͇̪̼͖̽̊̔͒̆̍̊ố̷̘̤͙̬͖̝̿̑̃̂̾̐̆͛͐̿͝͠w̵̢̢̫͖͚̼̥͎̜̠͕̠̟̦̓̀̉̇̉͜,̴̢̯͔̗̜̙̱̭̅͐̆̓̅̍̍̆̒̽̅̏ͅ ̴̛̰̻͚̓͒̽̈̀̾̇́̿̉̈́̈́͝i̸̡̤̹̜͒͊͊͑̍s̸̗͇͔͖͓̻͚̯̺̪͐̃́̇̀ͅṉ̶͆̿͛̋͂'̵̣͇̖̘͕̣̫̜͔̲͉̘͓͒͐̓̾͒̿̈́͝t̵͍̲̣̅ ̵͉̪͓̥̳̇̌̋̊́̽͘̕ͅt̷͓̩͍̝̝̹̦͎̹̓̈́̈̂̚͝h̷̛̙̗̞̮̣̯͌̓̾̏͗͝i̵̱̰̝̖̋͊͋̑͆̊̽̍̑̈̄̕͝s̴͖̙̳̮͙̯͖̣͚̀̏̀͗̏̋͑͒͋̌̿ͅ ̵̭͎͔͚͚̠̬̹͈̆̄̈́̉͜i̷̭̹͔͎͈͓͈̝̳̗̔̚n̷̲̠͓̺̭̟͙͖̎̀͐̇͂̔̿̓̓̓͂͠t̵͙̹̠͚͍̰̲͓̍̉̏̌̓̏̎̊͊̎͘ͅȩ̶̲̖̯̳̬̺͍͙̲̱̙̖͇̿̑̅͒̃̑̚͘̚͠ͅr̶̢̳̹̭̤̠̙͈̈̄́͋̍͜͝ͅè̶̘̙̖̟̆͒͂͗͂̚͝͝ͅs̷̝̺̟̥̓̂͆̒͒̆͐͋̿̈́̆̄͠t̵̬͍̟͎̱̼̫̺͇̬̩̃̉͑̽͘ȉ̴̧̨̯̮̥̖̰̞͖̜̿̄̆̓͘n̷̡̨̲̥̗͍̗̣͑̾ģ̸̛̺̘̥̺̀͒̊͛̽̇̽͒̀͝.̶̧̲͙̹͉͔̗̑̽̀́̾̽̍̈́̈́̐̇́̽̈́͘.̴̧̡̨̢̢͈̮͉̤͍̣̮̀̆̈́̄͜͜.̸̧̖̝̠̬̹̻̙̗͍̈́̀́ ̴̨̲͎̙͇̬̩̥̯̥̭̘̣͊́̄̅̀̈́̒̒̓͑̂̿̚ͅͅi̴̥̞̤̍͛̐̏͠͝t̶̼̫̲̲̖̳̳̂͊̿͂̃͜ ̴̡͇̃̉̈s̸̢̛̖̈͑̃̈́̿̆̂̾̂̀̕ẻ̷̹̝̬͖͎͈̠ͅȩ̶̱͉͚̗͖͖̜̌́m̸̧̨̡͓͙͓̭̲̤̯͉̏̏̂̈́͑̈̐̎͘͘͠s̷̨̨̳̺͉͔̘̯̓̈́̇͆͛́̅͘͠ ̵̝̲͇̭̀͜͜ͅą̶͖͖͖̖̜͈͍͉̘͖̑̈́̈͆̽͐̃̑̑́̾̚̕͘͝ś̵̡̘͔̣̰͋̓͋ͅ ̵̱͇̗͚͖̦̮̦͑͐̾͛͗͗̾̌̃̔͛́̕͜ͅţ̶̥̤̥̇͑̏̌̌̈͐̓̿̓͜h̶̗͖͍̖̅̀̉͛̒̅͊͋̔́͑̂͘o̷̡̨͈̘̠̝̱̫̩̩̗͗̐́͋̿̅̄̽̀̑̕͠u̴̢͎̪͙̻̜̼̠͉̟͕̣̱͇̅͑̔̅̈́̃̈̑̂͊͛̿ģ̶̤̯͈̪̫̬̯̦̗̲̽̋̒̒̓̔̒̀̽͑̊̊̈́̕͘͜h̴̨̢͎̹͈̼̳̰̺̻̼͚̉͆̍̆ ̸̧̹̭̼̗͇̿̄́͑̉̊̏͆̃͗͐̕s̶̡͙͓̪̹̟̤̼̺̭̞̑̄̔̂̀̕͜h̸̨̧͇̰̭̞̥̺͗́͋̔̓̍̉͛̐̄̌̌́̚ͅe̸̫͌͐̐̈́̆̇͆͗̀͘͘͘'̷̧͙̝̻͔̝̺̪̰̞͋̉̽̍̒͒͆̾̄̃͊̕͠ͅş̴̻̘̲̪̼͗̌̅̿̀̽̀̎̕͝ ̶͖͉͗͂̐͌̓̓̽̐͘̚͘͝͝ͅh̷̫͖̭̔̅̊͛̋̌̍̏̌̕̚ă̴̡͔̪̰̦͈͇̜̳̝̻̟̥̝͌͐̒̄̆̿́̋̕͘͠͝d̶̰̥̮̥̼̹̫͉͖͚̼̰̹̮́̔́̅̂ͅ ̴͙̌ȁ̶͇̫͎̖̞̲͈̗͋͋̆̍̓̎̈̚ǹ̷͓͙͖̭͔͙̮͔̐͝͝ ̵̪̬͙̪̈̈́̄͊̀́̚Į̸̥̘̽́̄͛̾̔͋̾̊͘͘̚d̶̫̼̩̱̣͌̋͐e̸̡̯͈̬̖͍̗͕̿̒̆̈́͘̕͝a̸̡͖̞͚̅͜ͅ.̶̡̟͎̓̍̽͗̃͆͊̔͗͛̔͝.̷̝̭̓̔̄.̸̛̟̣͈̏̂͋̿͆̓͌̌͘͘ ̵͔̙͓̯͆̂̌͋̈́̈́̇́̂t̴̛̛̯̬͉̝͐͌̔̈́̏̉̈́̑͊̚h̸̢̛̗͛̽͒̂̾̿̇̽̆͘͝͠͝i̸̧̧̳̼̺̥̦̠͉͋̏̈́̽̈́̀͋͊̽̍͌̚ͅs̸̨͖̤̼͎͓̀̐̂̅̐̌́̓̀̿ ̶̨̬͎̜̟̮̪̇̊͌̂̋̃̂̕͝͝i̷̛̖̪͈̫͙̣͙̋̆̀͗̓̊̂̕s̴̛̛̪͕̮͓̟̙͚͙̰̩̅̽̿͗͋͠ ̷̯̽͋͗̃͋g̵̨̢̜̯̮͙̹̲̘̪̺̬̱̬͗̈̓̿̊̌́̊̌̆̈́̈́̏͝ơ̵̧̯̞̝̻͕̻͍̺͇̗̺͂̅͑̿̔̆̐̒n̸̦̈́̈́̓̂͛̄̈́́̆̈́́̓͛n̷̛̩͇̓̀ȃ̶̧̛̹̬͚̃͆́̃̄̌̚ ̷̤̺̦̍̐͛̐̈́̈́͜b̴̛͔̯͈̺͈̘̌̃̈́̍̎̏̇͘ȩ̶͙͎̤̦͈̹̰͓͖̰͎̹̄̔̓̈́͛́̈́́͑̍͜͜ ̴̯̦̳̤̬͈̮̝̠͊̄͆̄́͂F̶̛̥̙̻̗̈́̄͒̈́̐̍͑͛͂̉̕͜͠͝͠u̵͙͚͛̏͒̂́̇́̈́̏̕͜͝n̵̨̢̗̱͕̟͔͖̩̼̱̟̒͒̍̋͋̂̈́̎̋͒̔͜ͅ.̷̢̡̛̳̘̣̮̪͓͎̲̥̓̅̌̔͛͌̿̕͘̕͝͝ͅ.̶̢͇̠̺̲̦̘̪͎̲̥̈̃̈́̈́̊̓͠͠ͅ.̶̡̜̤̻̯̻̹̳͓̠̜̦́̅̓̓̒͗͌̅̀͘
lettuce prepare for their arrival, shall we? And, speak of the devil...

I walked outside and threw some rockpoppers on the ground in front of the alleyway, enhancing my target's hearing just enough so that she could hear the pops as she went past.

Oddly enough, they arrived just before the poprock hit the ground, with the Draconequus exiting a... Floating pirate ship...
well... Isn't that absolutely brilliant...
*ahem* Hello! Might I ask what I might be able to do to assist you? I gave them my most charming smile.My name is Xecorai. Dr. Xecorai. As I asked beforehand, is there perchance, anything I might be able to do to assist you friendly lot in your current endeavor?

One of them, possibly the Captain, came down via a rope and gave me the description of myself, in the form Eris first saw me wearing.

I chuckled,oh, so you're all after HER then... Well, I can honestly say I know exactly where She is right this moment...

And with that, all it took was a snap of the fingers and a twist of the deck, and I proceeded to troll those poor fools for all I was worth. And that means there was some Genie level *yay* goin' down. My opening move, however, was to issue Eris a subtle challenge to a Warper Duel. Which is when two Reality Warpers get together and proceed to troll the *yay* out of eachother.

I grinned as the use of my Chaos stripped away the mask. Let's see if you're REALLY up to snuff, kiddo
*yet another heartsong*

'
'Rules?' she asks.

Turn based, and don't break reality to the point where you can't fix it. Otherwise? No. Holds. Barred
with that, the game began.

To begin, I pulled a basic Warper trick, Screen-to-physics manipulation. Uses the Audience's perspective to mess with reality in a focused area. Basic trick, but hard to pull off without 4th wall capabilities. Using this, I pretty much just made physics into my puppet.

Then, pulling a NOPE on the result of her turn, I sent her on an LSD style trip through the entirety of the known Timestream. Forwards. Backwards. Sideways. Up, Down. And Inside-out. Literal mindfuck, but without the fun part.

I chuckled as she stood there, shaking like she was having having a seizure. Feeling a bit 'merciful' at the moment, I decided to pull her out early, with the side effects therein being: Long-recovery time Amnesia, The Dark Descent. No. Really. I sent her there, pulled up a lawn chair and some popcorn, and watched as she struggled to escape when accounting for her NOPEed warping abilities. Well. NOPEed until she got out. In the meantime, CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!(including Eris.) after granting Eris the great gift of an opportunity to drown in cheese while being chased by a Mind-eater, I kicked back and prepared for her turn.

awwww... Hiding Your Madness away? What, are you afraid something'l happen if you let them O̶̧̤̻̲̣̗͈̤̹̰͗̿̿́͆̀͠͝U̶̺̟̲͊̿̊̂̊͗̓̈̆̈̿T̸͙̦͚͉̤̝͉͉͋̇̑̊͒͗̾̔́͒̀̉͘ͅ?̷̡͎̞͇̰̥͇̗̝̙͚͈̝̻͒́͠ͅ
At the last word, shimmering black/white lines drew themselves all over my face, burning away the bandage and connecting every part of my face with every other part of my face with a curvy, convoluted maze of glowing marks, and if I weren't wearing clothes everyone would be able to see them covering my entire body.

O̴̠͔̗͇̽͒̈́̌͜h̷̨̨̩̀̿̓̑̀̏̏̔̈́ö̷̗̩̙̭͕́́͜ḣ̸̟̭̓ō̴̯̥͍̆̄́̉̋͋́̔h̵̖̆́̓h̴̢̤̪͎̝̗̙̠̪͗̌͒̋̊͌͂̒̃̓̈́̒̕̚͠ḩ̴͓͇̫̱̻̂̎̋.̸̮̯͈̜̃̆̍̿̏̍̾̃́̌͑̕͠͝.̴̨̺̘̠̘̪̼͙̤̰͚̞̍̔́̅̕͜.̸̨̛̛̦̣̥̝̥̈̀͊̂͌̓͠ ̷̡̨̼̰̬̝̮̖̣̺͖̾̓̆̓̐̂̈́ͅṬ̵̢̹͍̒̍̿͒͝h̸̯̜̯͔̞͖̻͚͍̟̯̐͘͜ë̷̦̘́́̓̀͊͊͘̕ ̶̢͚̣͈̻͕̖͖̗̌̒̐̎̂̍̐̀͠G̸͕̑́̆ȉ̴͓̮͉̦͒͂̂̾͑̇̃͊̾͝͝r̶͉̦̃͛͛͌͂̽̄̄̾̋̽͛͘͝l̶̩̞̰̱̮̭̟̟̜̼̱̿͌́ş̵̧̱͎̫̦̭̭̳̺͍̰̝͖͛͂́͘ ̶̧̨̢͚̘̦͇̯̫̼̳̪̩̫̀̓̇̈́̄̈́͆̄̿̑͛̓ḩ̵͔̼̙̰̣̫̲͔͕͊͋̉͐͂̿̐̑̅̇̋̒̎͘͜͜͝a̵̡͙̙̯͓̳͙̠̗̘̥̫̘̗͊̓̾̋͐̿̏̿̏̽̓̄͑͜͝v̸̢̨͉̱̮̬͎̳͎̠̘͙̥̉̂̔̊͘͜e̷̦͇̊̽̽̐̚͜͝ń̶̛͚̿̍̈́̅̽͌̾̇͘̕̕͝͝'̴̡̩̗̞̗̺̺̳͔͚̦͎̟̳͐̀̒̍̀͋͗̅͋̽͜ț̸̜̠͌̏͑̈̈́ ̷̢̢̘̖̪̜̮̰̖̜̩͂̈̾̅̎̈́͒̈̓̆͒͘̚͜͜l̵͍̠̗̟̍̊̿̈́̾͗ȇ̵̢͉̹͓̻̒̽̄̈́̓͂̈́̋̾̒̕̚͝ͅt̴͖̟͚̼̜͕͒́̋͛̓͠͝ ̸̡̘͉͖͚̳͝ͅM̸̦̪̰͇͙̑Ę̷̻̰͎̺̜̪͈͍̯̪̝̖̏͜ ̵̫̭͎͆͗̆̏͝͠ǒ̸̢̮̳̭̟͖̣͊͂̆̀̒̚u̴̝̰̖̞̬̗͈̇̿̊̿̑̍̍t̵̢͙̣̗̘̭̘͛̂̏̐̌̆̅̉̄̈͘̚͘̚͝ ̵̭̜̮͇̓̒̔͊͌̑͆͑̇́͐́̓́͠ȋ̷̫̪̼̝̞̗̠̑̽̔́́̎̕̚͠͝n̶̢̨͓͉̪̥̝͉̭̝̱̘͐̄̑͆̚͜͠ ̸͍̖͎͗̓̂̏͐͘͝å̸̧̮̹͙͕͙͔̩̈́̈̔̊̚͝ ̵̧̺̥͙̺̒́̍̔̆̈́̓w̴̢͓͖̝̪̳̹̺͓̤̮̰͕̗̄̓̎̈̑̈́͆̀̾̀͛̏͌͗͠ͅḩ̶̖̱̤̪̲̏́̈́̊̌̊̍͗̈̾͋̓͝ȋ̴̛̞̱̥͍̄̍͌͗̕̚͘l̴̡͕̼̹͖̀̓̑̓͘ḙ̶̢̡̛̖̻͓͚̞̝̫͊̈́̌͑̽͐͊̚͜͝,̴̧̧̬͇̺̱̯̝͚̬̜̹̘̊̂͝ͅ ̷̜͈̥̊̐́̓͐͆̍͒͛̀̄̇͘S̴͕̫̭̫̙̞̠̔̾̈ö̶̫̩͔͖̝́͌̓̒̌̿͘͘͠ ̸̪̝̗̠̝̣̣̀̅̑̓̋̾͐͛t̸̝̥̋̋̑́̽̂̀̚͝h̷̠̳̱̝̣͑͑͊͌͂̽̅ĭ̸̧̧̬̗͙̣̭̣͎̼s̴̨̢̳͈̲̳̰̓͝ ̶̙͇̪̞̫̮̩͉̩̥͇͗̅̀̈́̋͊̂̋̈́͌͌́̍̂͜͜ş̴̨͙̯̪̟͙͎̜͉̩͕̽̔h̸̜̼͖̻̥͚͍̻͕͔̭͓̒͊̃͝ǫ̸̳͍͑͆͛̈͛̑̌̂͐̒̓̎͘u̷̡̝̤̜̱̘̩̝͍͛̀͗́̒͐͋̓̎͛̾̒̈́̑͊ļ̴̻͈̳̺̦͓̦̩͓̤̼̓̈͑͒́͛̀̃̈̇̾͆̿d̷̡͎̺͚̳̪̦̬̗̯̮͕̖̰̀̿͊̿ͅ ̷͎̳̹̰͙̣̖̜̫̻̍b̷̢̭͇̹́̅̉̒̀̋̒̚͜͠͠ẽ̴̢͎̹͇̲̮̺͗̈́̂̈́̎̍̌̂̎̿ ̴̧̛͙̮̳̼͋̊̌̓̎͘â̷̲͕̼̘̮̈͒̏͌̈́́̇͝ ̸̟͍͔̲̝͓̟̱̙̪͉̲̺̎̉͊͐͗̅ͅH̶̢̺̤͎͓̳͍̖̬̳̬̲̍̀͆͌̈́͠ͅÊ̶̡̩͖̬̰̰̻̹͉̣̣̆̅̈͐̓̒̐̓̇̄́̑͛̀L̶̡̢͉̘̯͕̥̟̠͕̠͖͇͎̋͐͒̎̂̓͊͠L̵̨̗̘̪̺̗̩̲̼͚̭͓̅̑̈̀̑̅̒͆̓͘͜ͅ ̶͇̓̑͂͛͒̒̒̋̈̍͠ȏ̸̡̩͈̭̻̮̬͈͑̓̕f̴͔͇̬̫͔͆́̈͋̏͘͜͝͝ ̵̡̫̱̠̺̗̪̗̮̼͂͗̓́̍̔̚ȃ̸̖͙̜̬̩̐͒́̂̿͊̾̆̐́͆̚̚͠ ̵̡̲̲̠̺̝̟͔͇̣͑̉̀͜l̶̡͈̺͙̳͓̙͕̝̲̘͇̠̪̐ö̷̧͕͚͙͖̬́̈́͋t̵̡̢̪̟̤͈̣̫̮̰̖̥̰̎̽̽̿͂̕t̸̺͇̋́̎̅̂̈̂̈́̒͊͂͆̓̓̚a̸̧̨̛͕̭͓̼̺̖͖͋ ̵̧̢͔͙̮̝́́͊̈͘ͅf̵͇̥̹̭̦̥͎̔͋̓̈́́̐̇̄̓̈́͛͐̕͝͠ͅũ̵̳̼͊͊ṇ̸̊͑̀̌̀̅̽̿̈́͝͝.̴̧̡̤̻͕̬̻͈̮̬̺̯̟̥̈́̿̓̽͆̓̐͂̚͜.̷̢̡͚̺̞̻̬̲̣̈́̇͌̓̀́̒̂̚͜.̵̨͎̗̯̣̝̪̰̆̋͊̈́̍̉̔́͊͋̈̈́̈̕͜ ̷̛̥͙̦̗͕̤̜̞̠̫͉͙̉͋ͅ:̶̻̯̦̖̼̹͇̖̱̘̪͔͋̇̃̿̾̃̀)̴̧̲̳̥̘͖̙̯̤͈̰̳̭͒
Ȋ̸̭͍̇̉̏ ̷̢͇͚͚͇̉͑̕m̶͎͍̄̕ė̴̝͍̞̟̱̦͕̬͌͗̑͋͂͒̈̈́̔̽̚͘͠ȁ̴̮̦̟̗̣̪̻͎̬͍̹͕̠̪͗̄͑̈́͆͘̚͝ͅn̸̘̝̥̭͉͓̮̝̭̿,̸͎͕͎̤̼͌̀ͅ ̴̨̗̠̣̬̈́̓̊̍͊͠Ȩ̷̬̝̹͖̮̫̩̍̈́͜͝v̵̥̪̫̻͗͂e̵̡͎̦̝̥̐̇́̊̓͐̈́͗̎̃́̇͆̌̃n̴̨̛͓̙̻̟̻̺͚̎͊͛̍̑̏̐́̈́̀͂͘ͅ ̴̨̻̆̽̉͐̒̎͂̚͝͠͝i̵͚̤̪͊͊́̒͐͂̒̑̍͘͠͝͝͝f̶̻̝͍̞̫͗͗̐̒̊̋̈́̏̚͠ ̶̨̡̺̠̖͆͋̈͌́͝I̵̧̘̠̗̦̜͓̥̲͙͔͋̅͑̈́̍̽͋̿̓́͝ ̴̻͕̪͈̳̩͌̌̑̇͋͒ͅà̷̧̡̤̩̖͍̠̞̲͝m̸̞͐̂͗̽̈́͠͝ ̷̲̦͒̀̾̚͝͝s̴̛͚̠͈̤̬͙̜̳͍̼̽̈́́̌̕̕͜t̵̳͖̟̝̥͔̜͖͔͕̗̱̽͑̀̿i̸̧̦̝̥̘̝͈͕̜̮̤̯̳̱͗͐̀̈́̈́́̈̈́͐͛̏̕l̶̨̝͉̘̭͖̻͉̥̭͚̑̎̄̀̿́̇̆̌́̚̚͜͝l̸͗͜ ̴͚̜͓̹͔̋̈́̅͂̅̚͝b̶̧͈͍̪͎̭̘́͌̽̆̑̆e̵̛̯̝̟̫̝͙͉̘̫̭̻̼͖͇̾́͌̇͆͗͋̈́̅͒̃̋̚͝ị̶̐͘ń̴̨͕̲͙͎̰̿͑̈́͗̓͆͋̍͆́͒̇͝ͅg̴̤̱̻̼̱͍̫̳̲̲͛͊͘͜ ̶̣̮̩̬̪͕͙̻̈́̾̌̍̈́̔̆̅́͗̾͠ḱ̴͍̥̩̯̰͙̙̼̇̄̄̃͋͛̓͒̌̊̂̿͝ė̷͖̖̟̬̭͙̾̇̽ͅp̷͉͙̖͈͖̩̻̻̓̽̋̓̐͛͂͐̒͜͝t̸̖̩͔͇̝͇̪̻̪͙̻̘̥̘̍͆̿̓͌́͗̎̽̓̚͝ͅ ̸̳̘̟͇̟̘̈͊̂͆̄͌̚͜͝o̵͍̾ǹ̶͉͓̞̼̭͎̮̪̙͍̜̣̺̫͊̾́̎̅̂͋̓̀̽͘͝͠͠ͅ ̵̨̢̡̼͕̣͇̦͎̠͙͇̞̋̆̿̏͘͘͜ä̸̜̳̦̭͎͚̗̿͝ ̶͙̈́̐͐͒̅̽͘͝͠b̸̧̛̥̣͔̯͕̳̣͓̬̽̆͑͋͐̈́̍̅̐̀͐͑̈́̽i̸̺̲̮̩͈̲̯̝̞̳͙̞̾̒̈́́̂̚t̸͉̯̝̗̃ ̵̡̡̙̦̻͉̜̘͔͙͙̟͚̲͖̈́̒̅̀̅̀͌̎̌͑͒̕o̷͇̟͓̓̑̎̓͛̿́͝f̶̧̙͔̥̣̙͔͓̙̺̻̀̐̏ ̵̜̇a̴̢̢͍̮̗̺̺̘̠̿̽̔ ̴̬͓͈̙̰̤̌̄͛́̒̃̒̒͌̑̐̏̚L̷̡̰̪̗̦̓̋̈́̊̂͗̐̀͗̈́̂̚͝͝e̶̛̛̺̤̦͕͕͙̻̮̯̯͔̽̂͋̉̓̂̚͝͝ą̷̲͍͈̥͖̜̣̓͐͒͗͗̓̿̔̚͜s̶̬̬͓̰̖̓͑̔̏̈́̉̎͆͛̚̕͘͠h̵̭̝̋͛̄̔̈́͜.̵̠͔̈͛̌͋̒̃͝͝.̸̧̺͈̝͚̯̬͌̈́̅́̌̕.̸̟͈̳̤̱̫̝̓͂̎̉̑̕ ̸̗̪̹̭̣̾͋̀̆̋̊̈̈́̅̈̄͗̕̕͜

Next came my favorite trick: Puns to Reality.
ṉ̷͎͇͔̭̱̫̫̦̘̮́̓̓͑̀͑̏̒͝ͅò̸̢̭͎̰̙͈͇͎̹̹͂̆̾̋̆͒̋̄w̸̨̟̖̝̗͈͎͈̟̭̭͋̾̒͑̑̀́̉͝͝ͅ,̶̨̭͔̞̞͔̜̙̞̉̅͑̓͗͂̀̀́̇̋̂̈́̕͠ ̸͚̏̾̌͂̿̏p̶̡͖̪̖̺͖̥̅̾͋͆͑̈̔̓͋̊̅̚͠l̸̢̡̗̦̤̻͕̠͇͉̮͔̃́͛̉̉̇̒̓̾̚̚͜͠͝͠e̶̥̯̹̩̋̽̉̓̀͊̈́͛̊͠͠a̴̫̣̐͑̾̍̅ś̷̥̜͉̲̿͐̀͝͝e̴͙̬̩̗̙̳̓̄̑͐̋̕,̴̧̼͕͗̆͑̿̓͊̍̀͋͒͒̕ ̶̧̱̻͎̫̰͈͗̌̉̃̊̀̒̈́̀̐̐̿̐͐͝D̴̢̼̙͉̀͌̈́̈́͝͠͝O̵̙̤͍̤̠͖͕͚̓̀̓̐͑̉͗͐̌͘Ņ̸̳̤̫̠̪̂́̆̀͐̓̆̓̍͆̃̚͜͝͠͠ͅȗ̶͓̜̝͉̟͔̣̤̘͇̘̻͂̋̂̃̿͊T̶̹̭̘̘̃̂̾ ̷̡̜̞̮͙̥̪͕͍̘̳̪̬͠ͅl̶̨̡͉̫̠̔͂͒͗͋͗̑̊̍͋͝͝o̷̢̧̩͈̳̖̝͆̊̔̈́̏̑̄̿̑͜͠͝s̷̢̡̛̘͇̎̔̃̂̏͋͌̀̐͘e̴͍͙̤͈͇͇̯͂̋ ̶̙͈͕͇͇̼͔͋̐̊̑̆̓̈́̿̈́̔͘̕͠ͅY̸̟̟̘̞͉̼̹̩̦͔̞̜̭̔͋̄̆͛̇͘̕͜͝É̷̩̳̪̖̘̞̗͕͎͕̟̫͖͖̓̚A̴̧̛̬̜̭̖̘͆̊̓̔͌̈́̐Ṙ̷̨̰͉̥͚̣̅̃͑́͒ ̴͕̞̇̄̇̌̌͌T̷͎̱̩͎̗̭̯̽͂̉́͆̅̄̈͐͗̀̕͜͜͝͝͠E̵̡̢̡̨̛̘̲͍̳̖̞̙̎̌͊͘M̸̨̤̦͙̮̲͎̪͉͂́̐̓̏͛̆͛́̚̚͜Ṕ̵̡̢̛̛̳͖͕͔͕̭̮̣͎̟͖͋̾̈̽̈͂̂̏̚͘ͅE̸̟̤̖͉̭͆̆̀̀̓͌́̑̓͘͘͜R̸̨͖͔͖͎̦̳̗̮̬͔̠̜̱͂̃̀̉̽̓̃̎̏͗͜ą̷͚͙͕́̾̈́̏̏͛̌̉̂̓͝t̴̨̩̮͉͖͚̽͝u̸̡̧͙̥̤̘̻̹͈̥͊̈͐͂́̈́̾̾̅̿͌͘r̸͇̝̱̈́̓̍̉͊̀͌̿̈́́̍͒͠͠ẽ̴̢̨̫̹̦̹͍̿̒͊̈́̿̉͑͋͂̔͜ ̴͎͙̩̰̪͎̞̮͖̃ͅǪ̵̝͍͕͕̲̤̹͙̗̋̀͌͛̑͘V̶̧̟̞͈͕̲̳̰̞̦̺̆͒͗́͆̀̔̋̂͘̕͝E̵̡̢̱̮̭̘͎̟͚̟̯̖͓̅͆̋͘R̷̨̠̝̲̖̜̺̳̱̩̭̈́͗̽̈̈́͌́͆ͅt̶̡̧̮̼̅̉̀͗̕ ̵̡̮̫̘̟̼̃͒̿̐̿M̷̡̛͈͍͚̠͇̥͔͉͙͖̠̤̓̈̆̿̆̂͠Ḯ̸̬͈̹̫͗̀̅͆̾͜͠ņ̷̲͖͖̙̊͆͋̾̽́̊̓̐̏͗̑̕͝e̷̛͙̤̰͗̇͊̆̈́̋̈́̉͘͜͠ ̷̡̡̛̝̻̘̗͒̾͑P̴̡̤̣̖̝̮̀̎Ų̴̞͍̰͙͕̯̮͓͖̗̘̓͐̽̋͐N̶̲̲̬̗͖̜̼̞̄̎͆̂͒̌͒̾͒̄̽i̸̭̭̣̞̥̓́͐͘͜s̸̡̰͉̼̠͍̯͔͋ḧ̷̨̙̲͉͙̠̪͓͔͇͖́m̸͉̺͕͖̺̠̖͖̝̺̟͖͉̭͇̈́̋̄̓e̵͖̙͕̲̘̟͈̙̘̔̽̎̊̌͆̋̈́̈́̽͜n̷̨̛̟̞͎͎͚̲̫̬̙͖̣̽̓̒́͒̽̂͂͗̊̑̑͘t̴̜̥͙͙͇͓̏̑̓͐̄̾͒̄͑̒̓̓.̴̧̡̢̝̝̭͚̦̗͖͗̃̎͂͠ ̸̹͇̹̺̘͖̪͔̹̣͛̾̈́̒̆͊͑́̚͝ͅN̴̥̝̫͔͎̝̪̦̫̝̟̘̞̻̤͠A̴̧̛̪̜̣̼̱̍̒̉͛̐͒̅͒̆̈́̕͜T̶̪̙̦̮̫̖̓̄̑͆́̔͌͗̍̇̄'̶̨̛̲͍̤̀̆͐̽͑̐̌̒͝l̶̢̧̗͔̘͉̠͓̝̼̯̉l̶̟͕̖̋̈́̐̏͊̄̉͆̍͘͘ ̵̻̲̦͇̠̫͚̗̟̳͔͍̺͔̺̂̄̂̍̀̓̆̑̑̊j̶̨̡͕͔̙͔̍̉͒͊̓͛̀̎̕͠͠ư̵̘̇͝s̵̠̬̈́̑̃̍t̸̞̱͖̖̝̉̊̈́̈́͒͜͜ͅ ̵̢̃̊͂̓̈́̔͋̾͘͝L̶̼͙͉̯̇͜A̸̠͓͖̻͔̪͙̩̓̌̃̒̅͋̌̆̇̈́̋͜͠ͅŇ̶̢̪͂̑͆̌̂͗̈́̾͘̚͘͜D̸̡͕̗̰͈̤̳̝̤̖̠̞̫̰̘͆̍͒̈́͊́̂̈́́̋͘͝ ̶͈͚̞̲̳̦̭͚̗͑̈́͠͠U̴̘͚̣̹̦̰͉̹̬̇̏̑̊́̈́̔̈̑̎ ̴̢̗̼̥̜̰̝̫̌̓I̷̛̱̥͔͐̉͌͛̓N̴̛̼͖̝̓̊͐̑̍̕N̷̢͔̻̗̩̟͑́̒͆͑͂ͅͅ ̸̬͔̮̣̩̥̣̻͚̤̱͂͑̊̀͠a̸̤̹͔̥̥̪̞͍̯͇̓͑̌͊̓̚̚ͅ ̸̢̨̨̞͔̪͉̘̦͎̱̪͖͕͗̉̒̿B̴̫͕̬̟̃͊̈̑͑̓́̀̒̔̉̆ͅI̶̢̨̖̰̠̯͓̯͎̖̮͓͂͑̀̔͂̓̀̀͌͋̕T̴̠̙̽͑̅ ̵̢͈̭̰͎̦̤̫͕̞̖͈̪̠͒̍̿͊̓̓͒ö̴̢̡̡͖͈̘̩͈͎̖̺̼́̈́̀͗͛̓͆̓̈́͗̄̄́͐̕͜͜f̵̢̯͍̗͕̦̼̭̞͖̮̪̽̌̽͊̊̎̓̒͒̀̂̈͂ͅ ̴̣͙̻̞͕̮̺̈́̄͒̑̓̓̇̐͂̕͠ą̶̳̮͔͛̀ ̸̢͕̦͚̠̟̫̪̳͚͖̀̈́̇͊͆̌̀͆̇̄̌̅͘͝͠S̸̡͇̘͔̖͙̅͑́͜T̷̢̡̛̳̣̞̬̺̖͓́̋̅̒̉̈̈̄͛͋͑͜͝͝͝Ì̴̧̞͇͚̝̱͎ͅÇ̵̤̦͎͚̜͖̖̳͇̜̱̖̉̽̌̀ͅḴ̸͉̂̓y̶̖̯̭̙̭̲̠͕͉̔̿͌ͅ ̴̨̪͖͇̎̍̑̋͆͒̑̐̏̚͘͘͝S̴̹͙̳̣̐̈́̍̓͝Į̵̼͖͙̠͔̣̱̑̊̿͒̿̂T̶̝̤̼̣͐̎͠ù̴̧̳̟͓̗͈̱̭͖̣̠̙̩̠̓̆͘͜ȃ̸̝̘̠̘̜̙͙̳̱͇̪͌̈́͒̈̊̀́̿͘̕͠͠t̶̡̺̮̣̠̬̟̮̲͕̘͙̟̙̽̆̅̔̿͛í̶̧̲̬̗́͊̾͑̐͗̃̾́͝ö̷̢̦̥̖͑̆͌̇ń̶̨̛̦̜̼͖̱̲̼̘͒͋͑͑͌͐̓͆̃͝ ̴͕̩̤̩̤̃̃͐͗̆͐ͅW̴̡̧̧̮͔̗̤̠͈̩̠͍̆́͝͝͠͝ͅĮ̵̧̛̝̰̱͔̄̇͗̎̇̾̃̀̈́̅͐̉̓̕T̴̡̧͎̥̩̟̭͖͉͈͇͚̗͓̼̀͐͐̽͊͆͌̽̚͠͝C̸̡̦̬̠͇͎̥̑̅̃͌̀̈̏͆͘̚͠͠H̶̨̤̤̺̥͓͍̹̥̺͈̜͍́ͅͅ ̶̢̡̬͂̓̊́̀̐̄͠Ẹ̷̡͈̤̱̳̐̎͐̒̀̍̓͒̑͝Ȳ̸̨̡̡̞̭͓͓̼͇̤͉̖̙̙͛̋͗̈̐̅̈́͗͛͌͂̚͠E̵̢̨̜͔̦͎̻̗͑̿̈͒̐̉̾͠͝ ̸̜͎̲͖̜͒̊́̈́͛̇̊̌̆̋́̄͠Ḑ̸̨̢̛͖̩̻̫͍͙̺̾͋̈́̒̄́̒̎͂͋͜͝Ờ̷̠̟͍̦̺̼̝̫̲̘̝̰͔͔̆̈́͜Ņ̷̰͕̰̻͓̟̘͕̫̪͑͊̏̾͠ͅú̵̧̲̳͚̀T̶͔̟̜̥̔̓͠͝ͅ ̸̖͙̗̈́̏̇͑̅̋́͘t̸̡͕̮͔͔̟͐̓h̴͔͗̉͑̎̿̈́̊́̋̈́͊̍͑ĩ̸̧̧̡̗̳̮̳̯̬̖̤̩͑̈́͑̀̓́̽̈́ṋ̵̡̢̡̟̼͑͆̋̂̐̊̏̕͜k̸̹͐̊ ̸̨̧̟̥̠̙͇̗̻̱̙͗̾͐̀͑̌͛̾̕y̵̤̏̆̑̾̏̂̉̑ö̶̧͖͈̪̖̯̜̪̱́̒͘̚ừ̵̹͚͍͚͈̑̊̏̓͋̾̉̓͝ ̵̡̳̖̭̲̰̮̞̪͙̘̞̅̎̽̊̈́C̵̼͙̻͙͍͋̈́̉̐̔͗͊̔́A̸̝̿̀̀̀̍̅͂͒͐̚Ń̷̛̲̘͉̯̜̬͓̹͎̮̥̣̞̗̀̒͗͋́́̓̌̚ ̶̰̙́̔̍̀r̸̛͉̠̬͙̦̖̥̱͗́̔̄͒̈́͛̓̿͘͜e̷͇̭̙͈̊m̴̲͈̠͎̲͋̈́̂̀̽̃͛͝ö̸̪͇͖͚͖̗͎̳̫̦͕̮͙̯́͊̈̊̔̾v̷̡̭̯̱̗͙͉̝̭̙͌̽̾͐̂͌̆̈́́ȩ̷̜͎̬̖̲̗̒̃͛͠͝ ̸̧̢̼͕̤̙̻̖̳̜̩̈́͜ÿ̵̧̱͎̞̖̳̲̪̤̌̒̈̕ͅő̶̧̗̬͈̜̻̤̹̠̜̪̹͖̱̊̿̍̈́̓̍͑̎̂̚ͅu̵̠̟͎̪̓̈́͑̓̓̈́̈́r̸̡̟̣̠̝̰̦̻̫̋̍͌͒̊̐̃̈́̆̎͘̕͠ͅS̵̢̪̫̞̯̤̱̦͙̈́̇̂ͅỴ̵̌̋̓̓̋͑̀́̏̕L̵̹͖͛͝P̸͎̻̈́̓̆̊͌̇̈́͌́͗̾̐̂͘͝Ĥ̷̨͈̙͍̞̙̼̣̪̲̝̱̫͑̀̐͗̓̐̌́̀̃̌̕͜ ̷̢̡͍̺̦̠͉̠̲̻̣̓̋̄̎̈́̑̿̄̚͜P̵̨̲̬̮͈̲̙̥̪͙̈̒̾̈́͊̅̂̀͘R̶̢̲̩̥̠̮͠Ọ̶̢̳̪̣̹͖͉͇̪̪̥̘͔͋͂̏̈́̍̆͐̐̅͗̊̓̑͠M̸̦̲͋̒̆͐̿̽͛͘͘͘.̶̡̥̫͉͎̄̊̍̀̌.̷̧͖̣̯̩͒̃̇̈́̎̑̒͌̀̈̃̇̕͘̕.̴͕͍͍̌͛̄͆͌̔̀͆ͅ

With each pun, the appropriate object, time period, dictionary entry, or social event floated by, bonking Eris on the head in the process. But now for my favorite form of Practical Pun: the Weapon.

Ṋ̶̖̋̊̒̈́̇̽̈́̐̃̚ö̴̡̢̫̲̮͓̙̠̘̙̣̤̪̯͖́͛͂̈͐̏̆̔̏͋̿́̕w̷͙̾̑͆̊͛̒̑̿͘͠͝͠͝͝ ̶̯͇͕͍͉͉̒̉͠ṭ̵̢̮̦̗̝̹̱͕͕͓̫̱̳̯͒́̽̚͝h̴̝̱̗̬͇̃̍̅ě̶̢̧̨͚̮̮̙̱̭̞͍̰̟̥́̇͑͘̕n̴̪̘̜͗,̵̢̧̨̨̻̲͍̭̻̖̩̼̥̐̔͊̈́̅͜ ̵̳̯̰͍̮̫̾̄̄͜Ì̵̩̠̫̈́͑̈́̌̑͌̐̕͠ ̴̧̨̛̘̺̺̻͈̗͙̬͆̒̔̽́̂͑̎̄̎̇̽͝͝C̵̡̡̨̻̼̪̩͕͈̽̽͑̌̃̽̈́À̴̢̢̹̲̣̮̗̙̟͖̟͍́͊̄̀̄͜͝ͅN̷͚̜͕̗̺̤͎̙̄͛̎͘͜ ̶̢̜͙̯͍̮̖̟̩̺̔̋͑͆͠S̸͈͍̗̅̒͛͛̅̈́̓̿̿̐̃̀̎̊̚W̴͉̪̓̐́̍̈́̋̈́͒̓͆̈́̚͝͠Ơ̷̥̖̅̉̊̿̋̑̈̉͗͝Ŕ̴̙̬̄̓̈́̄͛̔͒̑̋̇̂̕͝D̸̹̩̅̎͐̉́̍̇̀̊̀̎̕͘͠ ̴͇̫͙̻̬̘̀́͒ộ̶̪̗̥̠̰́̃͗͊̀̀ͅf̴͙͈̰͙͉̮̊͗̊̇͘ ̵̧̢̛̫̖͚̞̿̇̒̓̽̈́̐̊̌̒̀̊́̚S̸̛̛̲̩̗͎͍͕̺̙̀̅̾̎́̈́͑̕͝E̶͈̩̞̱̖͖̖̟̔̂̇̂͋͐̒̽͌͒A̶̧̡͕͙̜͇̬̰̩̣̟̣̚͜ ̵̛̹͆̌̐̃̏̅͋͋̃̽́͗͑̚w̷̮͇̤̼͍̖͇̩̘̱̔̾̅̒͒͑̓̑̈̓͐̉̔͠ĥ̸̢̡̦̠̜̣͈̯̹̅̅͊ẽ̷̥̮̦̖̣̮͈̼̺̝̼̞̦̐͋͌͌̔́̆͘ͅͅŗ̶̤̻͒̅̊̃̈́ͅẻ̶̢̢̛͍̱̪͈̰̬̮̩̩̗̔̓̎̄̉͜ ̷̤̬͔̳͎͉̼̰̐͆̚y̴̨̛̰̺͇͙̙̟̝͂̅̀̊̾̽̍͐͋̚͜ỏ̵̭̫͇͚͍͚͔̘̯̱̟̋̉̑̅̋u̵͙̜̰̠̱̓̈̑̆̋͆̕͜'̵̜̯͑̈ṟ̵̢̡̨͓͔̰̯̲͉̗̂͛͜e̷̝̝͙̦͎̺̜̙͔̗̭͍͕̓̌͋̀̋͒̆̿̈́͘͠ ̸̙̩͑́͑̈̀̀́̐̈́̏c̴̢̹̬̗̜̱͖͈̼̩̖͚͍̻̞͊̈́ö̷͓̻͕̭̣̥̅̀̽̉̀̐̏͗̅̽̀̆͘m̸̹͎̠̺̌̌̇ḯ̸̧͖̳͕̟̳͓̼͚̙̺͕̝̎̑̌́͝͝ͅͅṇ̴̛̛͇͈̰̟̭̟͒̓̒̒͛̎̄̃͌̔͊͘͝ͅg̵̛̯̖̺͈͇̝̬̘̲͈̹͓͕̜̦̓͋̚͠ ̶̨̦͙̗̤͔̖̬̖̓̈̂͆͒͋͘͝F̴̛͉̄͆̽͗͗͗̒̂͌̈́̂̾̉͝O̵̤͈͔͖̍͛͑̃͂͊̇͐̾̕͠͝Ḁ̵̭̠͕̟̩̲̲̖̤̌̆͌̏M̴̢̡̡̧̧͍̫̬͈̞͍̠͙͑̈́̒̂͜͝ ̷̧͎͖̩̥̻̯̖̯̺͉͉̯͙̇̄̍̅̐̄͊͗͊͊̀͋̌͝͠H̷̢̫̬̦̦̦̰̗͙͙͈̞̙̅̿̒̽̊̚ͅE̶̡̢̲͚̭̘͐̐̈́͠W̷͚͐͗͗̉̅͋̚̕ͅȦ̶̡̧̻̯̮̘̾͒́͐͊̇̈͘,̸͓͗͛̓̅͐̃͐̋̊̇͛̾̍̕͠ ̸̨̮̝̲̯̜̻̺͙͚̞̀̾̈́̃̈́̈̎͜ͅͅB̴̻̠̜͆̋̾̈́̀̍͂̌͊͒̿͊́̕͝O̸̱̊̂́̋͂͑̋͗̕A̴̱̝͔̥̼̳̞̣͚̩̫̳͋̀̋̎Ť̷̢̨̛̝̱̬͈͋͌̈́ ̷̧̢͖̣̪̣̜̳͆͂͝I̸̢̡̨̨̜̯͇̳͙͍̬̞̊̓̋̕ͅC̴̲̤̮̙̮̥̯͇̻͇̪͈͐̄̐̕͜Ȩ̵͔͓̜̤̩̈́́̉̔̽̈́̓̇͠ ̷̧͉̩̩̱͕̩̙̖͊̈́̃̆͘͝j̶̨̛̟̼͔͙̭̣̳̟̬̯̯̲͉̈́̅̔̊̓̋͘̚͜ú̸͚̥̥̼̭͈͎͂͛s̶̛̗͔͇̺̄̾̅̌̊͒̽͋͗͛́͠͠ţ̵̳̜͚͖̲͖̣̦͔̹͓̉̒̈̆͑̅̈́̌̏͑ͅ ̴̥̣̄͑̃̍̃͝ͅC̷̛̣̫̏̐͐͊́̊̂̐̈́̔̋̕͜͠͝Ǻ̷̮͂̉̽̄̂̿̚N̵̨͕̞̰̮͙͖̭̯̯̞̽͊͛̐̓ ̷̧̢͕͇̝͙̹̂͂ͅḲ̶̨̨̻̔̎̈́̒͂̽̚͜N̷̲̳̗͖̠͍͉̪͓͎̈́̌̑̑̈́̈̋̓̎̾̌̋͘͠O̸̲̙͋̕͘T̶̤͎̮̠̜̹̀̆́͊̂̌́͌͐̈́͘͘̚ ̸̰͑̓̀͊̌͋͠r̴̺͈̘͖͇̯͖̥̔͂̄́͗̽̍ͅe̶̼̜͊̓͌̊̊̓̌̀́͗͂̊͒̚ ̴̡̼̲̱̪̝̗̈C̴̛̟̙̺̝̗̦̻̞̼̳̝̱̱̬̾̊̐̃̂̄̊̌̕͝Y̸̢̛̱͎̖͉̬̣̩̗̥̟̠̐̈́Ṡ̴̳̖̩̞̐̅̊̄̅͐̔̚̕̚͝Ţ̵̛͔̰͖͖͖̺̬͍̆̑͋͛ ̷̜̣̺̭̮̭̻̻̻̦͚̞̓̾͜ͅt̴̢̛͓̩̪̟̼̥͉̋͑̃̒̽͛ȟ̸͚̙͛̈͋e̷̢̛̯͔̹̺͔͊̀̀̌͑̅̆̿͒͒̕ͅ ̸̡̛̤̫͙̖̹̥̠̓̄̎͐̌̂̈͆̑̅͗̕͜͝ͅp̵̢̺̮̭̜̬͇̬͉̿̈́͒̾͑̄ͅf̴̨̡̛̩͓̼̫̟̖̝̼̜̠̅̆̀̄͒͐̾̉͗͘̕̚a̷̗̙̽̈́̓c̶̨̛̛̣̖͉̟̯̲̫͕̠̳͓͇͔̔͑͋̐̈́̔̉̅͗̓̓̔̿t̶̬̣͇̫̞̺̰͋̃͂͂̀͜͠͠ ̵͇͍̰̂̽̒̎͐̀t̸̛̼̮̝̬̳͔͎͎̊̀͂̒̑͌̓̋̀̆̎̑͐̽h̷̛̹̬̰̽͊̈́͆͊̔̔̃̽a̶̧̡̩̖̒̈͒͐̉͆̃̅͋̉͝t̶̡̪̥̠̝͉̙̯͕͂́̌̈͆̎͠͝ ̵̟̺̙̪̤̈́͑̅̇́̍̊̐̉̕̚͜I̸̡̪̪͔͈̟͙͔͖̺͔͇͚̓͐͆͒̋̏͑͂̈́͊͗̕ ̶̺͙̫̠͔̰͙̒̿͊̈̇̍̂̌͐̍̆́̆̀̕M̵̡̧̙̜͉͈̙͚̥͖͍̟̄̿̍̀͛̕̚͘͜ͅͅŲ̶̼̺̜̮̭̩͎͕͂̿̀̅͆͑͒̀́S̵̡̞͈̯̖̣̥̫̼̗̭̟̰̃͐̊̎̾͝ͅT̴͔̥̻͎̙̱̰͋͊̐͗́̽̏͝͝Ạ̸͈̬͓̊Ç̴̺͉̩͓̙̌̓̈́̏͆̓̔́̋̉́͗̈́̚͜͜H̵̯̯̼̗̼͗̓̌̚E̸̛̖̼̭̭͍̾̄̀̌ ̶̧̢̢̛̝̗̖͇͖̟̮̼͑̈́y̵͓̙͊̂̂͐͑̆̈̀̕ọ̵͕͖̜̥̤̘̪̗̺͈̗̑͐̀̔̈́͜͠u̶̫̭̜̝̼̬̙̰̪̥̖͕̎͌̓̊͗̀̈̀͋̽̈́̑̚͝͠ ̷̡̧̛͓̭͖͖̺̹͇̙̦̖̫å̴̖̖̫͍̬̐͌̈́̕ͅn̵̢̨̨̤͖̱͇̰̥̈͂̋̓̒̒̀̅̇͂ ̸̡͙̼̤̰̖͂̆́̐̌̓̇͛̑̚A̵̛͖̜̮̙͆́̈́̚͘͝X̶̧̡̧͇͈̬͓̻́̀͛̐̕͜͝Ē̶̛͓̱̲͚͓̞̊̈́̈́͗̀̈̈́̀͒́̀̈́̄ͅ-̵͍̼͓̪̱͈͎̫̘̤͎̐̓̿́̿̐̓͛̿͗͘͜ͅͅͅu̴̪̖͎̞̮̘̻̦̼̰̟̥̅́͊͛̊̂̈́̽͠a̶̢̮̝̜̗͉͔͍̜͍̜͍͉̳̜͂̆̿̕l̵̜͓̮̻̅͗ ̸̛̣̲̤̘̫̦̫̯͎͓̟̝̀̊̊͑̉̑̾̀q̴̧̨̛̥̟̪͈͙̤͇͍̭̺̾̇̌̌͜͠ư̸̟͙͈͇̹̖̱̻̼̱̝̎̒̔͋̾̇́͊͋̒͒͜ė̴̡̡̢̧̝͓̣͖͚̞̉͌̑͐̎͌͐̇͑̕͠s̷̢̩̳̬̰̫̩̦̥̟͆́̏̃̾͝ț̷̨̢͓͍̯̬̭̼̎͂̆͛̄̊̍̒̃͆͆͘͝ǐ̴͉̪̰͕͚͇̳̩̘̼̙͎̀̈̍̍͜ͅo̴̯̝̫͙͍̒͒͊̀̇̿͘n̵̢͍̭̦̘̤͖͂̎̀́̚͜ͅ.̷̡̣͙͕̦̩͇̳͚̼͂̉́̓̀̆̋̚ͅ ̶̪̉́̊S̵̛̮͖̭̮̥̬̯̗̯̺̾̈̈́̓̔͑̃͌͗̒̈́̾̈́̕Ę̶̝̞̱̘̤̞͈̱̪̹̱͎̆͛͜W̴̺̹̉̔̏̃,̵̛͓̭̩̹͇̓̈́̈̑͆̈͗̅̕̕͝ ̵̨͓̜̰̬̤̘͆̓̓̑̋́̒̂̏̊͝Ỉ̵̛͍̺̦͓͙̞̙̖̣̣̯̱͖̇̂̇̐̆́͜ͅF̷̠͔̯͕̯̲͌̀͐̊̏͝Ŗ̴͖̻̦̳̬̺̙̩̩̖̟̱̏I̷͈̹͕͐̔̉̈́̃̈͐́̓̚͝͝T̴͔͕̉̓͊̋͆̒̍͝ͅ ̵̼̻̅̀̒̋͑̚̕͠E̵̡̡̨̛̱̯̩͓͉͗̆̓͋̀͛̊͠͝ͅW̴̟̻͕̭͎̓̈́̄̌̐̐̓́̌͠Ẽ̴͎̬̱̫͈̮͓͎̮̦̆̏̊̚ ̸̡̛͈̞͇̥̪̯͈͕͎̹̠̍͑̂̾̿̋̀̊̿͆̃̀͜ͅͅD̵̤̭́̓̊̈́͒͆̊͗͂̂̍O̶̳̱̹̠͇͛͌̃̑̎͘͘͜Ņ̸̡̜͎̬͔͙̹̫͚̩̞̟̉͊͋͆́̇͜͝U̵͍͇̭̩͎̜͓̜͓̳̯̐̑Ṫ̸̨̡̺̳͍̭͔̬̮͎̼͐̽̍̀̀̀́̈́͐͜͠͠͠ ̶̧͈̟̘̠̪̣̯͐͋̇̔̋̑͝͝͝M̵͚̱͇̻̫͕̯̰̩̤̳̓̓̀̑͌͋̃̕Į̸̨͕̥̲̗̳͍͍̹̦̫͕̑̾̇̀̾́͌̅̇͌̆̈́̕͝Ņ̸̯̰̥͓͍͈̥̙̪͚̩̖͉̐̉̄̏̏̑̈͌͐̋͆̓͛̕͝Ȩ̴̛̣̲̭̜̘̥̠̪̤̽͂̍̿͒͝ ̵̧̧̧͕̰̦̖̟̟͉͇̟̈̏͑̌̐̔͝͠͠ͅm̸͉̟̙̭̩̠͉͕͋̂͜ͅe̴͇̜̎́͐̒̈́̌͒̆͘ ̸͎̻͐͜Ã̸̢̬̺͕̠̹̰͓̹̾̋̋̀̿̈́͆͆͗̓͗͌̒̽Ẍ̵̧̖̩͓͎̺̮̯́̌̍́I̵̛̘͋̎̽̈́̎͂̐̈́N̶̛͕̬̩͊̉̒͌̃͐Ģ̵̱̭̙̬̼͉͙͍͕̲̫̹̰̌͐͌̌͐͑͛͊̄̃͠,̴̡̨̥͕̱͚̘͍̬̼̇̑͆̍͊͌ ̷͍͖̫͚͍̓̅̃̒͌̓̌͌̌̆͘h̴̡̭̣̲̘͓͙̬̻̥͓͖̎̃̽̂̽͠o̷̖̲̗͔̟̭͙̘̗͓͆̈́̐̈́͋̾̑͂̌w̵̻̪̪̼͓͓̟̝͓̏͐̏̐͘ ̵̼̆̔̄̊̉̔̍͝D̷̨̛̻͕̱̰͔̦́̾̑͑̒̀͐̿̀̾̆͆͝ͅȮ̷͔̘̟͓͉͈̤̺̿̍͗̔̓Ë̷̥͔̖́͆̅͜͝ ̷̧̺͕̳͖̈́̄̍̍͆Ȩ̴̨̧̛̛͍̙̺̭̙̝͎̳̫̈͒͋͋̿͊̍͘͜͝͝W̶̲͉͚̯͕͔̖͗̎̎̎͑̓́̆̽̈́̔͜͝E̷̢̱̺̓̈́̂͛͒ ̵̜̭͎̠̰͐̑̏͋̌̋̓̈́̒̚͜͝͝A̵̧̬̥̹̲̣̥̜̠̥̱̬͓̿́͛͋̄́̽̂̔̒̕X̸̮̗͉͇̥̖͈͇͂͋̕̕E̴͕̓͂͒͠p̸͔͓͑͆̈̎̔̃̓̀͋̾̓͐̽ę̴̛̮̹̲̼̠͓͉̬̙̹̤̤̒̃̄̂͊̈́ç̴̛̹̟̘̝̭̦̰̯͈̠̗͙̃̈̂̓̑̀͗̿̈́̚t̶̲̣̆ ̶̛̛̗͈̻̖̝̆͂̈̑̓͊̑̅͌͗͝͝ť̷̜́͛̀̂̐̉ǫ̸̲̼̖̻̦͙̯̘̤̈͂̈͛̎͊ͅ ̴̭͙̠̥̖̼̳̩̩̱̞̞͋̀͆̎̆̍̀̓͆̉̊͊̀͜͜ẅ̶̥͓͙̲͈͔͔̥̤̫͉́̂͑͌͌͘̚͘͠i̴̛͕̙̖̬̣̞͍̜͓͗̄̏̿́̈̋́̌n̵̨̜̫̫͉̤̪̮̺̙̲̰̻̥̾́͝ ̷̣̀́͗͊̈́͐͂͋̋̀́̃͘͝t̵̡̗̱̰̖͈̝̼͈̥́̈́̒͆̚͝h̶̼͇̜̬͔̥̝̭̳̲̮͊̍͜ì̷̭̺͑̔͆̄̌͑̀͆̊̆͘͘̚͠ͅś̸̼̲̳̤̹͇͉̖͈̋̎ ̸̻͗̅̉͆̀͘ͅB̵͎̈̂͋̈́͛̚̚O̸̧͉̥̬̩̱̻̫͉̝̝̹̲͙̍̃̾̎͊̒̃̋̋̈́̽͘̕̕͝T̶̨̘̣͉͈̝̠̼̻̫͈̱̠͑̓̽̈̍̍̇̅̽̾͠T̸̡̛̹͚̮̱̦̼̣͖̲͙̚͜L̷͈͇̫͚̥͂͛̆̽E̸͙̦̦̗̝̰̻͐̆̆̉̏͗̐̊̔̕ ̵͔͙͔̱͈̜̳̝͗̉́̑͛̃̃̒̀̉̚̕͝o̵̢͎̟̻̹̓̀̈́̄̊̈f̵̤̤̲̱͍͚̘͓͔̜̣̱͎̀͑̋̃ ̶̧̲͔̀́͆͌́̒̀͒͌̅̐M̸̨̛̫̟̤̱͇̪̤͉̽̅̀̀̽̚͜ͅI̶̞̥̙̤̟̠̝̭͖͎͍̰̩͊͋ͅŅ̷̟͔̲̳̻̪̳̮̲̟̘́̊͊̀̊̓̚͝Ẹ̸͔̩̐S̵̛͎͔͉͚͈̹̜̰͖̟̠͓̱̥̍̂̀̑͐̎̄̔́͜?̶̛͎̠͍́̊̎̌̈̅͗͝ ̶̢̭̖̖̅̀̔̉̀
Sevreral axes and swords lodged themselves in Eris's torso. Not a fun time.

Eclipse shrugged off a few of the hastily made binds that kept her from running rampant. Not all of them. Enough so that she could use an old trick she'd come up with a while ago. Darting forwards and clapping both talons to Eris's head, she used the Madness within that headspace to conduct a short circuit through both their brains. Similar to a seizure, but with more spells/wards being overloaded. Having had the chance to prepare for the backlash, Eclipse leapt back to her feet. Grinning cruelly, she lifted a wing aside to reveal a pistol in a quick-draw holster. She drew the pistol, and flipped two dials to their respective maximum and minimum settings. As Eris stood up in time to watch as the pistol was used to slaughter her pirates. As this happened, she happened to get a glimpse of the dials. The one set to it's maximum was labeled 'KR', while the one at it's minimum was 'KB' . The pirates were vaporized. Well. The bits that kept them alive were vaporized. The rest was left to bleed and rot.

Eclipse grinned wickedly as she saw the change in script the Authors had in store... And that grin widened as she saw the Pirate captain reform from Thought, along with three other Facets of Eris. The grin widened further as she watched the quintet release the innermost Demon within Eris... Shade...

Eris set both pistols to Blam, and grinned as she fired into Shade, knocking her into the street. Eris holstered the guns and walked out, balancing her throwing knife on one of her talons. As she stood over Shade, her smile became a bit more genuine, becoming more friendly.B̴̧̧̢͉͇͔̫̤͖̖̳̬̮̯̱̐͛͐̅̿͌̓͗̀̕̕ḛ̴̲̦̳̦̈́̓̎͋̍͛̆̇̚͘ẻ̸͇̙̓ͅn̵̢͇͉͙̯̤̭̞̠̒ ̶̘̫̱͓̤̞͇̥̞̙͗́̈́̂͆͛͜ͅa̸̛̤̮͎̮̹̩̜͈̩͋͊̍̍ ̵̙͙͒̄͒̉͂͋̊̅͜͝͝ẅ̸̤͕̺͍̙̙͉͇͕̠͆̈́̽̒̍͌̐͛̏̂̇̿̆̀h̵̛̠̩̎̀̃̓͛̂̃͋̏̑̓͜͠͝ï̸̥̼̦͙͓̹̜͖͎̳͍̥̓́͊̏̇́̋̔͐́̓͘͝l̴̛͔̝͙̻̼͉̝̥̞͔̈̇͊̔͂̓̀̎̿͐̿͜ę̴̢̯͚̠̯̯͙͖̭̣̹͙̯͐ͅ,̷̡̢̧͔̩͇͗̋̃̀̓͜͝ ̸̧̢̖̫͚̰̪̥̙̼̀ͅS̶̡͓̜͂̀̄̀̿̀̅́̏̉̄̉̓h̴̙̭͔͐̀͗̇̉̐̈́̏̈̓͌̆̈́̈́͘a̷͍̩̤̘̼̝̬͖̠̣͐̑͒̾̀͌̐̈͊̀͒̌̚d̵̙͎̑̔è̵̛͈̫̘̍̂.̵̨͖̤̬̯̗̮̫̯̔͆͑͊͊͛͋͊̈́̕͝͝
Eclipse put away the knife and pull up a chair. Shade found herself enjoying her favorite beverage in a seat across the table from eclipse.

Shade sipped her mug with a raised eyebrow... I don't know how she does it, as eyebrows are incredibly suicidal growing up. 'do... Do I know you? I can't quite remember...'. Eclipse just chuckled. N̸̢͈̬̖̭͚̚͜͝o̶̧͎͖̰͎̟͙̤̯̻͋́͌̈̂̎̑͐̈́̀̋͆͜,̶̖̻̠̫͇̺̘̠̈̏͐̅͑̆͘͜ ̸̪̦̣̝̅̃̂̊̇͜Ḯ̸̛̲̬͙̝̝̗̭͙̟̮̜͉͇̋̃̔̀̒̈̿̈́̅̌̚̕ ̵̨̧̦̰͇̯̭̝̗̝̼̿͊̔͌w̸̢̱̘̖̗̐͒̄ǫ̶̣̟͉̟͈͕̠͖̺̫̫͎̃ǚ̶̢̧̮͎̠͕͈͍̭̩̼̙͉̏͗͐̄͗̔̾̃̿͑̌͘̚͜l̴̦̟̣͉̆͊̓̌͑͝ḑ̶̭͕̟̯̞̙͖͎̔̒̍́͐̿͋́̔̓͑́̕͜͠n̴̡̢͎͖̹̰̗̤̭̘̱͙̑́̀̽̕'̴̢̧̧͖̣͑͋͝t̴̤̼͍̙̭̫͍̜̭͋̐͑͛̈̈̉͝͠ͅ ̶̨̘̰͎̗̪̪̜̗̣͍̇͂͐̑̚ę̵̻̣̟͈͙̠̓̊͌̎̇̀́x̶̧͓̰̼̝̘̮̐́ṕ̴̧̛̗̣͚̦͈͚̟̳͈͔̈̎̒̿̈́́̚͠ẽ̴͍̠̫̹̖̤̙̤̇̈́c̵̡̡̰̺͙̞̦̼̹̲̳̭̙͙̄̈́͗̾͂̿̊̌́ţ̶̲͖̤̹̼̺̻̥̭͉̰͓̆͘ ̵̧̛̛͖̭͔͖̠͚͑͂̽͑́̇ỷ̸̨̛̺̳͇̟̹̘̣̼̭̰͎͇̞͋̌͐͆́̎̊̀̓͘̚͠ó̵̢̗̗̙̦̹̥̗̻̗̠͉̰̪͇̏ư̵̧͇̟̜̭͕̘̞͈͒̀͊̓̊͌̂̂̽́͠͝ͅ ̴̤̞̖̞̥̖̳͚͚̇͑́̎t̵͉̺̲̟̰͙͓͔̑̑̔̀̎̾̌̓͂͌͝ở̴̡̧̞̺̪̝͕͓͇͇̎̐̐͋͘͜ ̴̫͎̠͚̯̘̦̦̻͐́́̌̽͠r̶̰̔̆̓̔̍̕͘͠ḙ̷̡̻̰̤͉̰̗̯̱̫̩̅́͛͋̈́̃̀͋͠m̴̧̲̘͖̣̹̰͔̹̙̈̀̐͑̿͝͝ȩ̸̛̺̬͇̗̗̺̜̙͕͜m̷͖̞̻̱͖̘̳̳̮͓͓͔͍̈́͘ͅb̴͔̭͈͖̻͉̮͎̪̺͍͚̮͔̫̀́̈́̑͒͒̂̈́͆̇͂̇͝ę̸̥͖̞͕̱̿̽̃́̾̄́͌͊̓̉͊̓̕ŕ̸̢̗̦̗̤͛̈̊͑͌̆̾̍͒̎̚͜ ̵̡̛͚͉̜̥̣̠̘̗̲͙̬̣͕̂́̈̃͋̍́̒̿́̂̏͝͠M̸̧̦̪͚̫̻͑̎́̏́͑͊̀͆E̵̩̼̓̽̎̏̒͊͌̀̈́͋̊͑͋͐͝,̷̟̭̤̲̟̦̀̄̕̕͜ ̶͙̫̀͐̀͆͝b̷̧͔̯͔̻̼̮̩͇͔͙̬͍̰̾͘͜u̷̡̺̱̙̙̹̼̔͒̿̉̋̀̌͌̅͂́̈́͝͝͠ͅt̸͓͕̖̯̣̤̻̉͛͆ ̴͙̲̜͕̊́̊̈́̀͋̔ͅd̷͎̟͇̬̜͉̦̼͓̭̲̤̗̦̿͂͆̃͝ȏ̸̫̲̪͕͖̥̟͕̬͚͙͍̱͍̠̃́̈̕ë̴̹͈́̃͑͝s̸̢̡͉̬̮̬̯̪̱̝̦̗͇͔̬̽́̓̏̚͝ ̷̘͖̖͉͔̱͒͗̈́͆̒̇͜͝t̵̢̝̙̝͉͇̳̦͈͖̩̱͎̫͆͆̈́̔̈́́̋̓̑̇̅́͂̏͝ḩ̷̝̈́͆̎̐͘͘ẻ̶̢̡̜͓̳͎̖̀̌͂͛̋̓̊̔̈̐̍̕ ̵͕̞͚̯͍͈̖̪̖̦̚ņ̸̼̗̯͓̼͙͔̜̜̰̟͈̟̟̃á̴̢̙͔̳̘͓̹͉͔͔͇́͗̿̽̎͛͛̆̓̐̚̚m̷̡̺̹͕̾͑̐̏̆͝͝ȩ̶̟̟̼͈̗̝̞̱̠̠̯̒̂̈́̈́͘ ̵̢̥͙̟̠̱̬͎̖̗̽̆̈́̓̑̈́̈̓͂͘͜͝P̸̛̛̭͇̠͕̺̌͊̈̃a̴̛̦̝̯̱͓̠̺̬̳̝̟̫̻͒̽͒̓͜͝͝͝ṅ̸̫̐̅̽̆̕͠͠d̵͎̜͖̻̙̔̀͂̃͝ơ̴̗͕̑̐̋̒̅͋̇̎̂͑̓͠͠ͅŕ̵̩̞̖͔͓͙̻͇̓̆͑̄̾͌͆͝͝ǐ̵̻̯͇̰̞̙̱̩̯̥̼̉̐͛̄̒͑̅͑͑̇ç̴̧̱̟̘̦̕͜ȧ̸͕̱͍̣̰̐͋͌ ̵̱̇͑̂̏̈̑̑̔̈́̊̐͜r̵̨̧̘̠̹̣̰̖̲̳̤͕̒̇̃̆̾̇́́̋̋̄̍́͜ī̸̛̛̲̦̠̝̻̯͑̓̋̏̔͘n̶̛̛͈̞̳̲͖͙̱̼͍̞̲̻͒̔̿̈́͌̎͆̋͐͘g̴̡̹͇̜͙̳̮̘̲̣̬̙͕͎͈͌̈̏́͝ ̶͖̱̱͊̉͂̀́̂̋͝ą̵̡̠̟̹̩̯̒͊͗n̸̨͚̖̙͖͉̩̠̮͈͚͗̂̊̅y̴̧̛̳͔̗͎̩̙̟͇̳͉̙̪̖͐̅̌͊͒͑̔̀͊̈́̑̒̔͠ ̸̢̬͗̑b̵̥̩͈͇͖̹̫̲͓̙̑̓̇͑̽̐̕e̷̛͙̻̿͆̾̿̐͛͆͆͝͝l̸̨̗̖̘͎̰͚̜͖̝͈͖̗̋͊͆̈̾̽͋̚̕͝ͅl̶̡̛̛̺͚̼̘̎̃́͗̈́̌́͠͝s̶̘͍͈̥̜̩͍̥͉̓̽́̄͑̔͂̿̚͘͝͝?̴̣̦̀̔͝ͅ Ṕ̴͈͚͍̥̲͉͈͎̭̇͋̄̉ͅè̶̗͈̮̔̈́͂̅̀̔͑́̂̽̀̍r̶̨͎̝̱̠̺̹̘̖̩̲͚͊͌̈͗̾̈́̆ͅs̷̳̮͒ọ̵̯̯̙̱̯̰͙̬̠̯͋̍́̃͜ͅn̷̡̧̡̈́̈́̈́͐̑̋̋͗̅̃͑̊͝͝ͅa̴̧̘̝̼̎̀͌̊̐̉͝ļ̸̛̗̬͈͖͖̈̓̑͆̊͗̒̑̎̐̌͘͝ͅl̶͕͖̭͙̤̤͓̓ͅy̵̳͕̻͑̃͐̾̇͠,̶̪͆͌̈́͝͝ ̵̳̲̥͈̰̞͇͈͕͍̞͉̠̂̐̇̽̽̃͝Į̶̟̬̰͖̺̹̫̺͍͆͋̿͋̋ͅͅͅ'̵̢͓̀͝͝m̵̮̬̊̈́́̌́̇̏͐͘̕ ̴̨͎͙̲̱̩̩̱̖̊̿͑ͅb̵̨̢̘̯̲̼̥͕̝͎̪̲̱̠̣͆̀͗̿̅̊͗̔̑̚͝ȩ̷̨̛̳̯̭̫͔̙̪̮͈̹͉͌̎̂͗͆̌̓͊̍͝ͅt̶̝̱̪̮̻̬̝̐͠ţ̴͉̻̰͈̬̬͔͈̫́̈́̽̇͗͛͜í̸͉̘̖͎̖̗̦̌̀͋̎͆̅̾̔̔̑͘ņ̸̢̹͔͖̣̣͇͛͒̚͜͜͜g̸͍̭͔̖̭͉̈́͒̊̈́̆̓̅͆̿̓͝ ̷̼̫̗̯̬̺͈̰̺͓̙̋͜n̸͍̞͙͍͉̞̖̣̼͉̞͎̭̊̑͆̂̅̈́̎́̋̒͊̏̀͝ơ̵̻̭͖͔̺͗̎̆̆̽̔t̴̨͔̮̟̥̺̖͎͇̦͑͋̈́͆̇̌̑̈́͘̕͜ͅͅ,̷̧̨̭͖̭̥̜̭̬͚̾́̆̎́̚͝ ̸̫̖̼̖̭̠̞̩̳̘͗̉̾̋͊̓̎̾̑͋̀̓̓̕a̶̯͓͚͚̳͎͕͔͖͌͋͜͠ͅs̴̲̲̝̆̇̓̀̃̄́̂̿̽͐͊͝ ̵̛͓̰̝̈́͆͂͊̌͒͛͘1̶͇̦̄,̴̝͖̭̤̔͑̀̌̏͝0̴̛͔̽́͐͌̈́̽̏̊͛̽0̵͇̳̳̜̞͎̰͉̍0̷̢̫̣͉̹̥̺̗̋̉̍͛̿̀̽̀̚̚̕+̷͍̥͙̮̮̹͒͋̆͑͊ ̵̢̼̩̲̱̦̼͂̾̒ͅÿ̸̥͖̻͈̱́ę̸̢̧̡͎͖̝͔̼̭̫̲̟͆͗͗͜ͅa̴̡͈̰̤̖͈̣̩̜͇͔̓̍͑ͅr̸̨̳̣̪̰̘̯̞͕̉̇̇̌͜ͅs̵̢̧̙̗͎̻͍̣̹̗͕̖̖̯͔̿ ̴̱̦͙̗͔̝̬͚̹͎̪̖͚̽̆͗̃̑̇͒̑̒̇̚͝ļ̵̯̬͈̗͙̹͙̱̭̬̇̐̓̽̈́̓̃̉̈́̏͋͌ͅͅͅo̴͇̻̪̻̞̬͚̟̬̭̤̣͊͒̔̽̚͝ͅͅc̴̤̜̰̈́͐ḱ̵͉̩͉̻̉̅͂̊͐̚̕͠e̴͍͔͚̱͈̙̮̙̩̹͚͎̥̯͂͐̃̓͜͝d̶̢̮̰̪͇̞̥̜̮̫̽̉̃̉́̐͛̄̍̊̿͛͘̚͝ ̵̯͎̰͎͚̼̽̈́̂̚ȗ̶̧͖̟͈͍̗͓̥͌̐͛͛̈́͐̀̓̂̈̋̄̕͠ͅp̸̘̲͙̭̟̏̈́̉̾̉̚ ̸̪̖̀̅̄͗i̸̞̺̰̘̗̓̇͑̓̓͗͑͐̈́̌͊͊́͠n̸̫̠̬̜̆͒̓͛̑̅͗̃̚͝͝ ̸̨̡͍̯͍̟͙̭͓̭̉͋̈̈́̕ͅǎ̵̢̡̬̲̥̯̗̮̗̪̹̮̼̍͐̉̑̌̌̈́̉̿̌͌͐͜͝ͅ ̵̱̳̮̏̓̈́̒ͅͅp̵̛̛̬̪̩̫̰̫̪̱͚̼͈͔͔͊͗̊̇͐͋̂̀̍͛̓̅͘͜͜s̵̢̞̲̫͕͇̞͐̌͆ÿ̵̨̛̛͕̠̮͓̭̮̘̗̪͎͙́́̃̇̄̔͝ͅc̴̺͉̱̗̘̃͗̋͆̽̀̑̑͐̊̑͂̈́̕͘ͅh̴̪̝̻̏̀́̈́̀̉̏͑̋͠į̸̮̼̣̤̐̎͋̒̈́̈c̸̡͎̩̻͆ ̴̧̛͍̩͖͔̄́̔̎̐̓̒͛̑̄͐͘̕v̴̢̘̤͖̹̖̲͔̥͖̩̞̪̾͜o̵̢͓̭̮͇̱̙̥̖̝̼̤̓͆̆́̓̑͜i̸̢̢̛̙͖̯̜̹̎̃̔͛̎̄̍̌̄͘͝d̴̨̡̤̫̣͔̼̘̣̰̲̲̔̂̎̒̒͘͠ ̶̡̛̗̬̮͉͓̣̺͍͍̓͆̉̀͋͑̊̐͛͘͘͠w̴̡̩̖̼̤͕̤̱̝̐̀̓̅̎͑̚̕͜ḩ̶͚̲̖̝̩͙͔̳̩̟̹̒͗͒̊ǐ̷͖̖̖͈̗̪̮̰͚̖́l̵̨̨̙̯̯̜̰̲̹͕͌͐̔̉́̆́̎̚e̶̢͔̼̤̜̲̬͖̖̟̅́͜ ̴̭̮͖̗͈̫̮̙̼͙̥̲͍̋̈́̇͜ͅy̶̧̧͎͙̩̟̟̮͚͚̼̅͋͜ǫ̷͖̳̮̦̩̬̩̞̻̰̝̈́̽̓͑̾͋u̷͈̜̙̻̘͕͛̈͑́͂́͋̔̌̔̚r̷͙̫̥̹͎̣͖̳͍͓̯̄̃͐̑̀̍̚̕̕͜͝͝͝ͅ ̵̨̭̹͚͕̫̤͙̩̙͌̌̀̓̆̆͌͒͋̚͝ͅḧ̷̻̙̙́́͐̉͐͑͐͒̓̒̓͘̕̚ơ̷̠̭̆̀̏͌̂̾͆́̏͆͝s̵̢̡̘̦̼̪̦̖̞̹̒͂̈̎̊̓͊̄̂͑͋̚̕͠t̷͍͚̘̜͕̣̂͆̽̽̈́̿̈́̃̏́̊̕͜͠ ̷̦͍̠̤̹͋̈́͐͑͋͜w̶̼̯̭̻̖̮̱͆ä̷̘̺̣̔͌̈́̃̌̈́͌̔͐̑́̒͝s̸̢̢̹̗̪͍̱̜̝̹̩̹̩̻̱̒̋̅͛̄͒̍͛͒̿͑́̄ ̸̧͎͈̭͉̻̅͐͝l̶̢̨̡͖̖̯̥̼̭̞̣͊͊̌̑͌̄̆̚̚͝͠o̷͍͕̱̚͜c̸̛̞̍͛̑̏͛̉̏͋͌̂͒̇̕͝k̸̠͕̤͎̑̅̀͂̅̌̿̽͑̂̾̍ę̶̧͇͙̜̞̙̙̻̠̮̈̂̐̓̏̉̄͊͆d̷̢̧̧̜̼̦͔̪̦̓͐̽̓̌͛̚ͅͅ ̴̡͇̖̞̠̱̳̺̭̥̻̙̇́̌̔̈́̈́͆͌̆͘̚͜ͅw̷̲̫͂͆̆͒̉̌̑̀̕ì̶͉̘̺͕͑̀͑̍̈́̀̎̑̎̒̃̕̕t̴̪͋̔̎̀͑̏͐͑̊̆͊͋̕ḧ̸̛̗͈͈͈̠́̍͐̋͂̽̑̑̄͜͝i̸̻̘̞̜̟̗͙̲̫͈͓͛̋̎̇̑̓̍ͅͅͅṋ̷͚̯͓̠̍͐͜ͅ ̴̛̥̱͙̭͙̯̯͍̟̻̽̊̓̓͛͠ą̷̨̤̹̩͚̱̟͔͆̾͐̈́͘̚͠n̷̤̺̼͔̮̭͈̍̀̎͋ ̸̟̖͚̊̆̉́̈́͌͘͝A̴̢͖̝͉͇̘̙̝̝̠̱̿́̓̐̑͋͗͑͘͜͝m̸̧̉̈́̅̋̈́̃̀͗͂̃͘̚u̸̯͔̰̟̼͇̙̍̍̔̑̂̈͑̍͒́̚ͅl̵̢̧̛͚̹͙̭̼̞̜͍̳̜̙͋͒̓̄͋̑̈́̆́͂͠͝ȩ̵̧̛͍̦̳̦͌̎̌͗́̏̐͗̍̓̕͝ẗ̶̞̻̙̫̤̣͙̯̦͉̭̙́̄͜ ̴͇̲͈̮̘̺͎͐̐͝c̸̡̯͈̫̱̩̓̀͘͝͝ạ̴̧̤̱͓̰̫̞̠͚̺͉͒̂̉̓͑̌̂̌͐̂͐̉̚͠n̷̨̫̤̰̫̤̜͖͙̻̥̘͇͈̠̿̓́̍͗́́̚̚ ̴̖̘͍͕̘̖̯͈͚̎̅́͑̆́͛̚b̵̛͉͉͚̬̈̆̐̈́̒͂͝ë̴̤́̍̋̃̅͂͘ ̴̲̫͎̇̐͗̌͐͐̓̃q̵̟͎͉͈̽̒̎͋́͝ͅu̵̧͇̮̻̬̞͚̜͖͇̒̇̚ȋ̶̡̡̢̤͕̱̭̖̞̋̑̏̽͗͐͌̓ẗ̵͍̤̰̹̞̥̤̖̬͐̔ḝ̷̻̖̫̮̫̉̽͛̾̂͝ ̴͔̬̾͋̂̏̈́̽͗͐͗t̴̘̣͚̮̖̟̻̦̔̌͐̋͌̇͘͝ą̸̞͉̺̱̝͙̭̺̺̺̝̠͓̎̋͗̍̉́̏̿̔͠x̴̬͛͑͊́̀̂ḯ̶̢͍͚̌͐̎̔̏ṋ̶̻̜̐͂g̵̗̗͈̮̼̟̙̘̩̟̮͇̟͆͑̓̌͆̀͌͗͛͑͛̊̈́͝ ̶̨͎̻̫̻͈̠͙̝̗̹̬̠͛̕o̸̱͖̲̜̟̻̮͙̲͗͘n̴̗͕̬̱͇̐̍́͋͒̈́̿̉̈́͆̂̽̇̕ ̵̢͖̲̱̝͖̘͖̤̰̯͕̌͑̓̉͂͋̚͝t̷̡͗̐͑͐̇̑̾ĥ̵̦̫͂̾̿͗̿̓̄̂͆͋̕̚͠ȩ̸͚̘̋̈͋̔̒ ̴̛̞̱͚̯̖̈́̿̌̇̓͛̒̀͋̚̕͝͠m̸̖̠̹̙͚̑́̽͗̕ę̵̢̳͇̗̥͇̖͈̉̄̃̒͑̅͆̌̍̃̊̆͋͜͠ḿ̷̲̞̮͖͕õ̶̠̻̠̫̰̣̥̮̣̻̾̾̓̎̏͂̈́́͌͛̔̆̚͝ŕ̸̹̲̮̗y̶͕̘͚͓̘̰͕̝̭̹͛̽.̴̹̇̇͑͂͑͗̋͒̑͊̏̂́͘.̸̠̭͕̜̩̯̹͈̃̀̂̏͗̎͊͋̔̉̓̑.̷̭̇͆͌̃̈̑̚͝

Shade nodded, confirming this. Eclipse allowed Stardust to take control over the body once more, the markings fading, the burnt bandages falling away revealing not only one(perfectly whole) eye underneath, where it was normal for an eye to be, but also a third eye(also fine) centered an inch below where a Unicorn's horn would be placed on the forehead.

as disappointing as that is, I'm really not surprised. You never really did get the chance to set our faces to memory when we made you. We had to send you away far too quickly for that to happen. But it worked out in the end, I suppose..., I(Stardust) took a sip of my Quantum Guzzlink, savoring the liquid equivalent of pure Madness running through my beak, over my three tongues, and into my gullet. Delicious. You might be wondering why we made you. I won't tell. You have to figure that out on your own, although I CAN tell you where to start looking., I tossed Shade a scroll, which contained a riddlemap1.
That'll be helpful. The Lockriddle is this: Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters. That's it! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to be captured and questioned by a purple alicorn now. And maybe be blasted by the R.D.L.
2

I was then blasted off the table by the aforementioned purple alicorn. I decided to add a bit of safety humor:Oi! Don't spill me drink! You don't know what that stuff does to mortals!!
Twilight was slightly taken aback by this, and examined the mug I'd been drinking from. And promptly found it to be KILL IT WITH FIRE. And then did so. Like a smart alicorn princess.

She was kinda pissed at me. "And just who do you think you are, spreading chaos like you own the place?"

Discord poofed up, "Yeah! That's my jo--oh.", Discord then slapped Shade back into Eris and poffed himself, his sister, Twilight, and the newly captured me back to the Crystal Empire's Castle Library. And then placed several wards on and around me, in hopes of slowing me down when I decided to get back up. It was really very amusing. Also, Shade popped back out after around five minutes.... Much to Discord's chagrin.

Author's Note

1A Riddlemap is a map locked and encrypted via several riddles who's answers all reference\ the treasure or secret the map leads to in some manner.
2R.ainbow D.eath L.azer

color key
Shattered Stardust
Void Shift
E̵̥̳̥̞͉̺͉̜͇̥̰̟̘̓̔̂͋́̚͝c̸͚̓̉̄̽̊̓́̐͐͘ļ̵̪͖͓̻͉͖͉̝̘̩̝̭̪̈́̓̓́͌̒̓̒͋́̃͛͝į̴̮̗̭̣̩̭̼͙̫̼͍̎̀̔͐́̔͑͆̆͒̄̐̐̓̆p̸̘̗̤͗ͅš̶̢̛̩͙͔̺̣͋̈́͊̐͑̐̒̀̎̉̎̆̚ẽ̵̢̢̢͉̞̬̤͙̺͙̜͈̺̾̊̏̋̆̓͐̏̚͝͝ ̷̯̲̦͔̟̼̺͇̟̪͂͑̊̓̃͠Ŗ̷͔̟̭̼̻͚̼̊̓i̵̧̢̖̘̻͈͛͌f̷͚̃̓̒͘ͅť̶̡̞̰͎͉̝̦̠͎̥̣͎̙͈ͅ
Collective/Pandorica Box

this story is a collab with Taken-By-Insanity. Please check out their work :fluttershysad:

Questioning, death laser, and homecoming

I grinned impishly at the I.P.A(I.rate P.urple A.ilcorn) and Draconequus, and royal family, as they circled me, obviously preparing some questions for me. And maybe a R.D.L., you never really know with these types of people.

Twilight glowered at me, trying to intimidate me. "Tell me, what are you doing here?" I could feel the butthurt radiating off her.

oh, y'know, having fun, spreading chaos, plotting a bit of world domination on the side
I chuckled as her eye twitched. Oh c'mon, lighten up will ya? I really don't think any of us are in the mood to pick up after one o' yer literal flaming tantrums. Anyways, to answer your question, I don't rightly know. If I'd done the math right, I would've poffed back into existence over in the mountains, like I was s'posed to. But Ah didn't, so Ah didn't. As for your next question, the previous paragraph of me talking is a joke. Also, I would really appreciate it if you'd kindly unBind me so I don't have to go through the trouble of fixing Discord when I bust myself outta here? No? Damn. Too bad the- oh for love of faust.

R.D.L... Crap. True to form, I received a Harmonious Rainbow Death Laser to the face. And turned into a statue made of ice and frost. Which promptly shattered. The shards, deciding that they had better places to be than in the middle of a S.F.T, scattered to the winds. In other words, they summoned up a gust of wind, which then took them all to the Northern Mountains.

I reformed at the entrance to the mountain range, slightly out of breath due to being a bit out of shape. I looked around, catching my breath and deciding whether to head straight to the city, or to check on something that my being not an undead monstrosity probably depended on. Logic winning, I decided to head on over to the Frostbite Forest, which was really just a segment of Everfree that got separated and wound up highly adapted to the cold, which might or might not've been my fault.

I walked, climbed and flew through the mountain range until I reached my destination. A vast valley, the bottom covered by what looked like a downy layer of snow and permafrost. Assuming you weren't anyone with a talent for rocks, or a member of a rock farming family, or just didn't know what to look for, you wouldn't see that the pattern of the grain of the cliffs was wrong for a valley of that depth, meaning that the valley was much deeper than it looked. This illusion of shallowness was the product of the Frostbite's cloud-cover, which was, with a few exceptions, being used to generate a constant, freezing fog to cover the forest itself. Combine that with carnivorous snow-creatures, it was pretty much impossible to not turn into a skele-sicle in there without my say-so. Not that receiving my say-so was necessarily a good thing.

I dove down, past the cloud-cover, and landed silently with a strong gust of wind, which dispersed the snow and fog, revealing a tall, crystalline tree crafted from winter itself. But this was no statue, oh no, this was ALIVE. This Tree was just as much a part of ME as these feathers I wear, although, p'raps a good bit more vital to my continued existence.

I leaned against the tree and sank into it bodily, relaxing into the sense of... Wholeness that most people take for granted... Then again, most people don't have their souls split between a carnivorous, soul-eating tree, a swarm of self-replicating Spiderlings, and their actual body. I mean, Clover the Clever only ever managed a TWO-way split, and SHE'S still wandering Frostbite, torn between herself and a Draugr. Not a pfun time. I personally prefer to attach the Draugrs to a preexisting Hive-mind. Using a Spiderling to the ear canal. Go figure.

anyways, I decided to actually do something productive with my time instead of just saying 'buck it, let's go troll some Windigos.' right off the bat like I usually would. in this unprecedented fit of productivity, I checked on the Spiderlings, I made sure that the Draugrs were at just the right temperature to not melt, checked on the progress of my research on Bifrost, banged my metaphysical head on the appropriate spot on the inside of my physical head when it turned out that it had proven to be an enigma once again, observed the Windigo civilization WITHOUT reducing it back to anarchy, and, of course, spied on my favorite group of protagonists, all without ever leaving the comfort that is sleeping on, and under, myself. interestingly, a blanket of Spiderlings spontaniously formed over my Fleshcore Puppet, which only made me even more comfortable. settling into a long awaited sleep, I tumbled down into Dreamland.

Author's Note

I don't even remember who owns which of the elements I'm borrowing.
I think.
I do remember that the Windigo civilization here originates in the story 'Snow and Wind'
Bifrost is something of Xante's... great... I've summoned him, haven't I?
The Tree is based off of Timberwolf Trees from the story 'Lupine Tree'
And I've lost track of the rest.

An amusing questioning.

crashing a royal breakfast and taking over Equestria

I yawned, stretched, and got up from my newly made nest. The one that was technically made out of my own flesh. I'd long since gotten used to the fact that I was the primarily used member of a three-fold mindshatter, and inhabited three bodies, give or take a few trillion.

I looked around my newly constructed room as I got dressed, interestingly enough, it was configured the same way as my internal 'spawnpoint' for when I went spelunking inside my skull. Pi-poster bed, snow-cloud mattress, bedside desk, desk by the door, and desk to the right of the door and bed. Otherwise, general astronomy/winter/steampunk theme, and an absolute mess. Because I might hail from before this world was made, but I'm still a bloody teenager.

After stripping back down, taking a shower and redressing myself, I headed into the kitchen area for some tea/coffee. I made this really good stuff out of chamomile tea and chameleon cold-brew coffee. With milk and honey of course. I would've had another Guzzlink but it was too early to have one of those without getting drunk in the process or having gotten drunk the previous night. Delicious culinary abomination made and ingested, I decided to troll Eris some more. Because, the duel wasn't over yet, I'd just gotten kidnapped by a... Nope... Not gonna say it. With my luck, it'll happen again and it's much too early to deal with Murphy's BS. And it isn't even a bloody Tuesday. I mean seriously, it isn't even a logical time unit, much less a day of the week.

So, I changed into my formal finest, complete with over-the-top-hat and fancier scarfstyle, I went to crash a royal meal.

Before I arrived, I made sure to correct my posture and mannerisms, donning the Mask of the Jester, one of my favorites for crashing any sort of party.

With that taken care of, I poofed myself under one of the lidded food trays, an apple in my beak, on my hands and knees in that classic roast boar position. I even had a salad between me and the tray itself! It was like the full nine spacial units for an April Foals joke! ...nah. Not in the mood. Maybe later, but not right now. I poffed back home, got back into my informal clothing, and puttered about the house looking for something to do... Maybe go visit Ponyville? Tia and Lulu over by mount Canterhorn? Try and find Chryssi? Perhaps a round of drinks with retired Fire Lord Cinder? Maybe Harmony over in the Everfree? Roll the dice and... Tia and Lulu it is. Huh.

I walked to my wardrobe and chose an appropriate coat. A stellar pattern trenchcoat and industrial goggles. I donned the outfit over my light blue shirt and pants, and for a final touch, I brushed my headfeathers into a back-sweeping style with an uplifted area in the middle reminiscent of a Mohawk. I spent the next few minutes preening(wings this big are really hard to maintain!) and generally cleaning myself up. With a final check in the mirror, I stepped through the door, only to step out of a broom closet. Guess all those people who talk about not wanting to know what goes on inside those things are right.

As I walked through the castle halls, several guards saw me and ran to notify the captain or princesses. Fun. I decided to pull something I'd been wanting to do for a while now. I wholly swapped to my own frequency, making me undetectable to anyone who existed outside of it, and while still allowing me to see them, thanks to my Upgrades. I tesseracted into the dining room where Sunbutt and Moonflank were eating breakfast together. And about to be assassinated. Fun. And useful! I snapped the neck of the idiot on the ceiling, and proceeded to staple a cardboard sign to his chest reading 'I was going to kill you'. Then I ported directly underneath the table(Celestia's pancakes, to be precise), returned to the public frequency, and phased upwards through both table and pancakes.

Their reactions were certainly appropriate. Celestia yelped and toppled over, while Luna doubled over laughing. I did a jig on the table, and then joined Luna in schadenfreude. hahahahoolly mother of frost your face!! Ohhhh... I'm sorry... That was mean. So, how're we all doin'? Frying me alive? Good, good. Burning me alive? I think this calls for a vacation!

With a resounding crack, both Princesses found themselves in one of the tamer forests of the Clayscape. And now, since I'm in charge.... Paperwork... Ugh... This stuff is friggin' universal.

Let's see... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, blueblood, no, wait what?! You mean that I could've been revising these things as they came to me!? Kibitz, you are a genius, but why didn't you tell me earlier?! Now then, with editing... Change this... Scratch that... Tax the nobles... Redirect Blueblood's illicit income into the research budget... Redirect the noble's allowances into education and science... Troll the Bearers... More trade... Better reformation systems in prisons... Trade agreement with the Changelings... Ixnay on investigating the Northern Mountains... Ixnay on any sort of war if they haven't actually done anything to us... Okay. That should be everything! Kibitz, would you mind telling me why there are fifty-pi sharp objects embedded in my body?

"Several assassination attempts, ma'am."

Ah, that makes sense then. Carry on.

I wonder if Eris, Discord or the Bearers are going to try and stop us anytime soon...
Nothing really matters~...
I suppose you're right as usual, Stardust. But that doesn't really change anything in this situation, does it?
Always the philosopher, eh Voidling?
touche'

crashing a royal breakfast and taking over Equestria

re-reuniting with the Princesses.

I grinned as I set out from Canterlot castle, intent on making things a bit more... Homey...
Chuckling, I observed as the canterlot nobles fled from my path, taking some piece of amusement from their fear.

Oh, come one. I’m not that scary, am I? Or are you all just afraid I might mock you~?

My grin spread wider across my beak as I watched the petty little nobles flinch and scurry off at the sound of grey.

Now then, let’s see… I think it’s time to bring a bit of home to equestria… I hope you all like snow! Oh, wait, I don’t really care, well, not in this context at least~

I raised my hands to the sky, where a maelstrom of clouds was gathering above me. Gently, ever so gently, snow began to fall from the swirling storm above.

Ah, isn’t it beautiful~? What do you think, Blueblood?

Blueblood flinched as he heard me call his name. “It is… rather pretty, I suppose.”
I frowned at that.

Oh come one! Give me your all!

“I… I would really rather not.”
I sighed and nodded in understanding, I couldn’t blame him for being afraid, especially since one of the first things I’d done since getting on the throne had been to take him and the other stuck-up nobles down a few dozen notches

Can’t really blame you for that. As you were.

I hated bossing people around like that, but I really did have an image to maintain. I couldn’t exactly fight the Bearers if they thought I was a fluffy, huggable pushover, now could I?
I blinked as a new thought struck me. I picked the thought off the ground, dusted it off and grinned.

Voidling, dearest?

Yes, Stardust?

Would you mind sending a CTWM through Spike?

I can do that. What does it say?

And so, two or three chapters later, Eris received a slightly frozen scroll to the face, at with the approximate force required to turn a Draconequus into a cannon-ball. The message read as follows:
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I am sending you this message as a last-ditch effort to find someone capable of defeating a startling new foe. An old friend of my sister and I recently showed up in Canterlot, turning the place into a winter wasteland. By this point, everyone has been frozen into their own houses, and I am sorry to say that the Guard, along with most of Canterlot's unicorn residents have already succumbed to the cold. Unfortunately, this does not signify death, no, in this hellish winterscape, the cold brings the curse of the Draugr and Wight; two ancient undead races, both born of frost. I'm sorry to say that there is a possibility that not only have your parents been corrupted by the Frost, but that the snows have already reached Ponyville, and other nearby settlements. What this means for your friends, I'm afraid to guess. Even as I'm writing this, I can feel the ice leaching into my mind, the frost growing into my soul. Please, hurry.

-Celestia

I chuckled as the letter was sent away, only to barrel out of Spike's mouth and into Eris's gut like a cannonball, in a few chapters. I didn't want to ruin the goop developing between Eris and Thorax.

so... What now?

Now? Now, we wait.
I walked back inside and retired to the library.
Bored now, time to go troll Sunbutt and Moonbutt.

I apparated into my Laboratory in the Clayscape. Due to the... Belligerent nature of the more commonly occurring natives, I had built this place under an entire mountain. And then reinforced the entire surface of the thing with hardened Black. The stuff was pretty rare, but I had a lot, and I didn't really have anything else to do with it, and I needed the extra layer of 'not gonna break' between myself and the Neon...

I closed my eyes and concentrated, fully expecting to find the Clockwork a shattered, broken mess. What I got was... Certainly not what I was expecting. Someone must've cleaned up in here between now and the last time I popped in.
Everything was neat, all the cogs and gears were moving in time to the beat of the central Aether coil, and to top it all of, there weren't even any shattered bits from unsafely closed connections!

Hoo boy, someone's been cleaning up in here! Voidling, did we get a maid?

No... But the self repair is functional...

Ah. Well, that explains it!

I walked through the maze of clockwork circuitry, eventually finding my way onto a balcony, overlooking a vast chamber of lenses. I looked around the balcony, and spotted a cleverly concealed raised, control panel.

I walked over to the panel and raised my talons over the various dials, buttons and levers like a maestro.
After popping my fingers, I went to work, pulling and pushing levers, pressing buttons, and fiddling with dials like a madman.

As I did this, a long manipulator arm reached out, selected a lens, and lifted it up for me to gaze through. I flipped another switch, this time revealing a computer keyboard, and readied my hands over the new set of buttons. The lens flickered to life, and through it, I saw the princesses building a reinforced house out of wood, mud and stone. I cringed as I watched them work. They weren't even hardening their materials! I sighed in shame and shook my head.

Voidling... Do you think we should help them?

Absolutely. We don't want them dead, not really, and they are our friends after all.

To a certain degree of friends, that is.

Voidling and I shared a chuckle at that.

I returned to my own... Well, I couldn't really call it my own body, could I? I returned to my preferred body, and walked through the halls of my laboratory, finding myself in front of a door set into the wall, raised about a foot off the ground. I gazed at the door for a minute or two, building up the courage to open it, and face the surface of the clayscape.

welp. As a great madman once said, GERONIMO!!!!

I pulled the door open and leapt through, and only as the door closed behind me did I remember, I had set the door into the face of a very tall cliff.

damn. I wish I could say it, but then something might happen, and we're only rated T. Dammit Author.

And so, I fell for a hundred-something feet, crashing down into the hardened, black shell of the mountain in a puddle of goop.
Fortunately for me, I reformed once all the kinetic force had moved from me to the ground.

I dusted myself off, and walked down the mountain, into the forest. I idly wondered where the wormlings one of my siblings had made had run off to. I mean, they did have their own civilization at this point, but they weren't made complex enough, or big enough to have any real intellect. It was possible that they had been consumed by the Neon, but if I know Remy, he would've stuck around to defend his worms until they could fend for themselves well enough to survive. And Marlin might still be in that tree of his...

Speaking of, I think that was somewhere around here? I know that Remy and the worms are somewhere over in the jungle, but I'm really not sure about Marlin...
Eh, doesn't matter. What does matter is finding the princesses!

I checked for their positions through the Spiderlings, and found that they had actually holed up at the original site where my siblings and I had settled down initially. Unfortunately, I didn't make it there before nightfall, partially due to a desire to see how they handled themselves when facing up against the Neon. Imagine my surprise when they summoned weapons. Weapons that could Harden things on contact.

Impressive. I wish that I'd thought of that back when I had to deal with those things on an almost nightly basis.

I chuckled as they whirled around to face me, blades of Hardening at the ready. As I watched them quiver, I decided to play nice, for once.

I grinned at them, allowing my body to remember how to be perceived once more. Once I was finished reappearing, I sat down in front of them, observing them as they scratched uncomfortably at their 'wounds'.

You're going to want to remove the infected matter. It won't grow back until there's nothing in the way.

I handed them each a fruit.

Eat those once you've torn off the taint. They'll help your flesh grow back. Might take a bit longer than if you were a Native. But there's only four of those who occurred by themselves.

Author's Note

I know, I know. there were some of you hoping for this chapter to answer questions. that will come later. after Twilight has re-captured our Narrating Character.

re-reuniting with the Princesses.

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Hey look! I lost an eye!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Capture

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A gathering of Immortals

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A new world, a new game

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A beginning

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.