Author's Note 1 of 2. This chapter is not clop. It is a bit darker and especially about my own well being prior to2016. Along with that, the bottom author note will get dark so be captioned. No editing was done, I just needed to get this out quickly.

Death Likes Me Rough

Death’s Practice

The dawn breaks next day since Spike’s rescue by his lover and current Dragon Lord, Ember. He slowly but surely, gained a little of his health back, albeit through a difficult process. Gems helped keep his belly full and water clenched his dehydration but a large part of his health to be regain had to be by drinking lots of fluids. Water was only available in the dragon lands, so in order to compensate, Ember would bring him ‘fresh kills’. The idea of eating another animal made Spike feel worse, which only irritated his lover. His first day was the most difficult.

“I can’t believe you won’t eat meat.” she half growled. By her feet, lied a dead elk, with its throat ripped. Now, this was a ‘non-sentient’ elk, which was allowed in the dragon lands and in parts of Equestria(away from crowds or pony invested lands) to hunt and eat. “You need to regain everything that you lost.”
“By replacing blood with others?” he asked, a bit glumly.
“Yes!”

His eyes looked at the dead elk and he felt the dead eyes looking at him, as if guilting him on his choice. He sighed and shook his head. “I-I can’t Ember. I was raised by ponies, to respect all life…”
“Then respect yours!” she growled. “Respect that you need to survive by consuming flesh! Replace what you lost and guarantee you will be better for it!” She then rubbed her temple as Spike remained indigent and silent, refusing to go for it. She then turned around and headed for the exit. “I have to go deal with some council stuff. That will be a couple hours, so you have until then to eat that! Your to weak to leave, your to weak to get rid of it, so your only option is to finish it.” She paused and her voice lowered. “Please.”
Spike looked at her, with a sadden eyes. Not waiting for a response, Ember took flight and left Spike alone.

Spike didn’t eat nor touched the dead elk. The eyes still haunted him. His gut gnawed and growled at him to eat, to regain energy. Jewels and gems were good for food, but actual nutrients and irons, only available in creatures was needed to help him. Yet, he couldn’t bare the thought of consuming flesh. Only when Fluttershy had been willing to give him some fish bait before, did he take it. He refused however, when his mother invited Royal Gryphons and was serving cow and pork. The smell itself had his mouth drooling, but refused, even with his own mother trying a few bites herself. The sick and emotional feeling of eating a life… had him in knots and it worsened when his own life was at ends.

Three hours pass and Ember returned. He didn’t acknowledge her arrival, nor did he meet her eyes when she came in. Ember saw that he had not moved from his spot and the elk remained untouched. The carcass began to smell and a few flies flew around the corpse.
“Y-you didn’t eat it.” She stated. Her amber eyes looked at him, waiting for an explanation. He didn’t look at her.
“I-I’m sorry… I-I can’t.”

Silence followed between them, the only sound being the flies around the dead body. Then, a low growling emerged from Ember. Spike knew what was coming, though his eyes remained glued to the floor. Ember stomped her way towards him, around the carcass and standing in front of his view. He tried not to meet her eyes but with a growl she harshly, grabbed his head and forced him to look at her.
“Your sorry?” she half asked, half growled. “Your sorry!” she asked again. Before he could respond, she grabbed him and forcefully pulled him to the dead elk. Spike had no energy to fight her but he whimpered as he was then forced to the ground in front of the body. “Why are you sorry? Why did you not eat! You are weak and starving yourself! What is so hard that you can’t do anything about it!” Then tears formed at her eyes. “Why can’t you just fucking save yourself!” She shoved him until his head was on the belly of elk, shoving his head on it. “I am trying to keep you from suffering, from dying, yet you won’t take it! Why?!” she yelled.

Spike inhaled and exhaled loudly, the smell of the rotting carcass filled his nose. His eyes remained on the body, not looking up from it. He didn’t want to look at her, he did not want to eat the body before him, and he did not want to suffer anymore. Yet, his moral was so consumed with guilt and sadness. Visions of his family or friends being consumed by dragons filled his mind and even if they were sentient, what would be the day that someone he knew of or loved was eaten? His own eyes watered, he shook his head, and sighed.
“I can’t.” He whimpered. “I can’t… Please don’t make me.”

Ember continued to half growl, half sob, seeing him so torn about a carcass. Finally she stopped and for a second, Spike thought it would end there but it didn’t. Instead, she moved away from him and walking away from his form. Heavy sobs echoed around the cave and Spike felt his heart ache at hearing her torn voice.
“I-I can’t f-force you to eat…” she whispered a bit away from him. “I can’t. But you are suffering!” She emphasized, digging her claws into her own palms. “Your body needs this and you won’t take it!” She gave a shaky inhale then released. “I worried that you wouldn’t make it before and now you're worrying me again. Whatever moral… code you have in your brain, you have to let it go! Please! You have to let it go! Your in pain and I can’t stand to see it. Your being selfish and your letting me get hurt because of it! Are you trying to prove something? To me? To your family?”
No response from him, he shifted slightly to push himself a bit away from the dead elk but remained facing away from her. She sniffed.
“I won’t judge you Spike! I would never judge you for this.”

“But they will.” he said softly. She blinked at his response. “They will. I can’t touch this because if I enjoy it, if I want more… I fear what I will do to get it.” He sniffed slightly. “My mom has chefs that prepare meat for ‘special guests’ with meat in their diet. She could serve me that for a bit, but then what happens when ponies find out? What happens when they find cattle missing? What happens when I have to start hunting by my home? When i grow and seek more? If I kill one of my friends’ animals?” He shook his head in denial. “I can’t be that dragon.”

Ember looked at him, his back still hunched over and his body weak and paler than most dragons. The body just inches from him, continued to torment the both of them. She knew that being raised by ponies really corrupted his moral sense on taking lives. Yet, from that moral sense, he saw the good and the wellness of other creatures that made him so desirable. His visits when he hit his growth, had not just caught her attention but the attention of other dragonesses. Most were willing to fight each other, even testing their strength against Ember.

He cares so much for others, in his eyes that any creature can be redeemed, that even those who have hurt him, didn’t deserve to suffer. He doesn't see the world as black and white as most, but he understands that he does have to play by a set of rules to continue on. The situation before them is a rule set, in which he was ignoring. It tore her heart to see that he would never go after another animal, if it meant knowing he would lose himself to that inner dragon within.
She huffed hotly, her tears still in her eyes but she held her voice strong.

“I love you.” she stated loudly. “No dragon has ever really been close to my heart, not even my own father. But what you're doing, by not allowing yourself to become better, I cannot stand by it. I need you to be better. I want you to be stronger. I want you to be there for the trial of the pony who nearly took you away from me, from your friends and family. I want you to be there when we look at our hatchlings and give them their first meal.” She let out a small puff of smoke leave her nostrils. “And if i have to rip chunks of flesh and shove them down your mouth and hold it closed until you swallow i will!” In angry tears, she yelled. “So you better take a bite of that soon or I will do it for you!”

Spike didn’t answer,nor did he make an indication he would. He knew she would, with how weak he was. Worst part, he couldn’t choke on the food since he already died that way before, so he would end up swallowing it either way. Instead, he sighed and placed a palm on the dead elk and began to softly mutter to himself.
Meanwhile Ember’s anger was flaring dangerously close to carrying out her threat. Her emotions were in flux and her heart was working against her. Just as she was about to make her threat real, Spike spoke out softly.

“Did you kill it quickly?”
Ember paused, looking at the back of his head.
“What?”
“Did you kill the elk quickly? Did you… make sure it didn’t suffer?”

Ember noted his tone, a small bit of hope that the creature didn’t suffer from her hunt. In truth, Ember had always done quick kills, making sure the creature was dead before it had a chance to suffer. If there was something she learned about life and the practices of the hunt, is to respect it. Your kills should never suffer when being hunted for food. Your kills must also bare to the balance of the nature it resides, never killing or taking more than the environment provides. And lastly, your kill must have a spawn to continue on the life of its predecessor.

“I would never make an animal suffer, Spike. I learned that before you came into my life.” Her voice remained even. Spike gave an appreciative nod.
“... When I grew up, I used to read stories of how the old gryphons and other species that hunted, would respect the dead by giving them prayers of thankfulness and peace.” He then reached over to the elk’s wide eyes and closed them. “They thanked them for their bodies that would be consumed to give them energy to march on into war. They would pray that the creature they hunted, sentient or not, that it would have an easy after life or a better renewed one. I always enjoyed knowing that no matter the predator of the species, they would always have some sense of respect for the dead. I just had hoped i would never have to do the same.”

He then gave a small wheeze as he tried to spit fire onto the elk. What left him was just a thin smog line from his mouth, nothing else. He tried again, only to wheeze and inhaled only to swallow his own smoke and began to cough harshly.
“What are you doing?” she asked a bit angrily. She was hoping he wasn’t trying to burn it so he didn’t have to eat it. He regained his breath and turned to her. “I’m trying to cook it.” He paused. “I’ll eat it but only if its properly cooked.”
“Cooked?”

Spike created a pit off to the side of the room, away from anything catching fire. He slowly but surely dug the pit, with Ember’s help, about four hooves down and six hooves across. He then looked at Ember’s hoard where he saw a large grey spear that he felt would easily do the trick.

Grabbing the spear, he limped his way towards the elk and brought it over to her. Once more, emotions fluxed in him and he handed the spear to her. She looked at it in confusion and he clarified with a dry mouth.

“In order to properly cook this, the spear needs to go from one end to the other.” He licked his dry chops, trying hard not to visualize it. “That way it can cook all around as we slowly turn it. We hang it over the pit where we will fill it with fire… or lava, whichever is easier and then it will be cooked.”

She understood and grabbed the spear. His reaction was too walk a bit away and not look at her actions. She looked at him then at the elk with the spear in claw.

‘Morally different, not Spineless. He will come to shed blood one day,’ she thought. With that, she prepared to spear the elk.

Spike inwardly flinched and nearly shuddered as he heard the sound of flesh and metal grinding together. It was not quick, for he still could hear the tiny squelching of Ember shoving the spear through the body, piercing through organs and bone. A small grunt left her as she shoved the spear tip to the mouth, down its gullet and forcing her way through the body. A second later, the end tip came out the elk and she sighed.

“There.” she stated.

He nodded but still didn’t look towards her.

“Then, we just need to start the fire.”

Ember had gone and quickly gathered wood from dead trees in the area. She brought a large bundle and set it deep into the pit. A harsh puff of flame set the dead trees ablaze and she set the elk over it. Then they waited.

The dragoness sat near the fire watching at the elk’s body slowly cooking. She realized that she should have skinned it, remove or even burn the fur. The cave smelled of horrible burnt fur, much to her chagrin but did bring him a smile as she tried to fan the smell with her large wings.

Once the fur and most of the top skin had burned off, the elk finally began to cook properly. Spike saw that most of the distinguishing details of the elk was gone, he eased his way back to her and sat by her. Silence lingered between them, other than the sound of the cracking wood and the soft hissing of meat slowly cooking.

A small sigh left him and he laid his head against her shoulder. “You did all this for me.”

She gave a nod, her eyes not leaving the elk.

“I would do a lot for you, if it meant keeping you alive.”

“I know you would.” He then lifted his head slightly to look up at her eyes. “I don’t think I deserve you.”

She used her left wing to wrap around him and hug him closer to her.

“No, its I who do not deserve you.” She brought her claw to his and held it, while he didn’t let go. “You are to good for me. Your heart… is too good for me. You have no greed to consume your heart, not even when your in need. You carry no great malice, even to the ones who hurt you greatly.” She paused and looked down to meet his eyes. “You stole my heart and I didn’t think it was possible. If anything, you deserve someone who can match your heart, your mind and your relentless disregard for your own life at the happiness of others.”

He leaned up and brushed his snout with hers, causing a deep, warm rumble to vibrate from her chest. Something he learned from her, meant that she loved it and he loved her.

Almost a full head and a decade apart, the two have never been closer. Spike knew that his world and Ember’s would never truly merge. But, they would find a common ground to work on and go from there.

“I’ve never had cooked meat.” she commented, noting the wonderful smell coming from the elk. The sizzling and small smoke coming from the cooking flesh. “I had tried to roast a fleeing buck once, ended up black and had to throw it away.”

Spike shifted slightly and used his tail to touch hers.

“Yeah, uh usually the ponies either raise the cattle but if you want to properly cook meat, you skin the top layers. Remove fur, skin, and when you are only eating certain parts, make sure to remove any harmful bacteria. After, you roast it over a fire. Not to high for it will burn. Not to low, and it will take to long to cook.”

Her own tail twitched then wrapped its longer form around his.

“So you never once had meat?” she asked.

“Fish…” he said off handedly. Then paused. “I’ve only ever had like a few a month, just to keep me satisfied or when I went on adventures with Twilight and the others. If there were no gems available, usually I would find fish to eat.”

“I would have to get you a large net full of fish just to compensate what you have lost.” she said ideally.

“Probably… but I could never eat another living thing, sentient or not. Fluttershy, the one whom have given me the first fish, showed me that she would catch a few fish for her animal friends. One of them was a bear and…”

“Wait, a pony is friends with… a bear?” she asked, almost as if that is the most oddest thing she had ever heard.

“She is friends with a bear, a manticore, and the living embodiment of Chaos himself.” He gave her a look and smiled. “She could make friends with anycreature… even dragons.”

Ember didn’t comment but remained skeptical about it. He continued on. “Anyways, so it was her that would get fish for her friends, the ones that were predatory at least, and she was okay with me eating fish. While fish where animals, she knew that there had to be a balance in life. That there were things out in the world where she had no control over. You can’t force a bear to eat only vegetables, because you only eat vegetables. No, you had to let nature be nature. Don’t force its change, or it will come back to get you.”

“So why do you fight your nature?” she asked softly. “Why do you ignore your need for meat?” He opened his mouth to comment but she quickly cut him off. “Gems, jewels and other small things like your pony food, will only get you so far, Spike.” She then separates herself from him and reached out to the cooking meat. With her claws stronger than diamonds, she easily sliced a large chunk of semi-cooked meat. It was still deep red in the middle with only the outer layer slightly cooked. She then popped it in her mouth, causing Spike to inwardly flinch as she swallowed with ease. “Flesh is needed to give us the nutrients we need to keep our fires burning, our blood with iron to heal and our savagery from losing control.” She paused and saw his confliction, yet she pressed on.

“The first time I have ever killed and eaten when I was younger than you, was a rabbit.” He tried not to think of Fluttershy’s pet rabbit when she said that, even if he was a demon from Tartarus. “My father showed me how to hunt, along with teenages who have exprience but could show me how, in my size. I still remember the first time I tasted it, the blood pouring into my mouth and that it was the most amazing taste I could ever imagine, even more than rubies.” Spike squirmed a bit against and she stopped. She sighed and moved away, leaving him to himself. She stood up and spaced herself from him. A sadness overwhelmed him and he felt cold.

“Ember I-I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” she said sharply, keeping her distance.

“I’m sorry that I’m not the dragon you wanted.”

That struck a nerve and her head snapped towards him. A deep growl came from her and she made her way back towards him in angry stomps.

“I know I am flawed and am not much of a dragon and I Mmphff!” She held his jaw shut, preventing him from talking. Her glare was intimidating but he also saw her hurt and her tired eyes. She then relaxed her grip and dropped to her knees to meet his eyes. Her amber eyes met his green, elegant colors dancing in their eyes from the fire. She shook head head, moving her snout close to his.

“You are not the one I wanted… at first. You are the dragon that I needed. Here. Now. More than ever do I need you!” She sniffed, trying to stop herself from growing emotional once more. A small laugh left her. “You’re the only one who has ever made me feel emotional, you know?” she smiled and shifted so she was closer now. Her body heavily leaned on him; he used his tail and one shaky arm to hold himself up as she moved forward. “You might be flawed, you might not be like other drakes, but you sure know how to mess with a heart.”

He couldn’t respond to that. And she did allow him too, so she pushed him slowly on his back. She then crawled on top of him, with a look of pure love… and passion. She straddled his waist and looked down at him. He looked so meek, so small and innocent, yet she knew that he was stronger than he gave himself credit for, smarter than most of the dragons in the valley combined and had the mind of a mature adult.

Lowering her head to his, she brushed her snout to his.

“Your everything that I need. Your heart is more powerful than most elders and lords that have come.” A small bit of seriousness then slowly came into her tone. “So, don’t you ever think your not a dragon worthy of being with me. You are more than just a normal dragon. You are something better. A creature from two different worlds, yet you alone are bringing them that much closer.”

Her words echoed into his head and he stared deep into those amber eyes, that only glowed brightly from the fire. Her form was ever radiant on his eyes. He felt truly blessed to know that he had fallen for her. A true beauty in dragon form.

However it was than that he noticed how she was on top of him that he realized what her attention really sought. His heart first and foremost sure, but a little action as well.

He gave a small smile but a bit of hesitation left him.

“I-I am still not there yet Ember.”

She looked down between them and sure enough, he was still ‘unresponsive.’ A look of confusion passed through her before she saw his face.

“Its only been a day.” he stated. “Give me a few more.”

“I feel like a got the nicest dragon in the world but that fact that he can’t be aroused, even when he is given the chance to be, is a great show in your character.”

“Yeah, well losing a lot of blood can really stop you from being aroused. I’m not even sure if I could recover what I lost in a week.”

She paused and looked towards the cooking elk. It was almost done. She then turned back down at him.

“Well, you better.” she paused and lightly rubbed her belly. “I’m going to heat soon and I want you to rut me.”

He gulped a bit, swallowing his saliva a bit and looking a bit fearful at her.

“Uh… are you sure that we are ready?”

She lowered her head to meet his eyes, their snout tips touching.

“More than anything, I want you to know that if you were ever to be a great dragon, you would give me eggs to bare and whelps to raise.”

He looked a bit uncomfortable. “I-I’m only sixteen Ember. I don’t know much about raising young or anything.”

“I’m not going to lay eggs this soon, you dolt.” she paused, brushing his snout. “I’ve got another few years before my body can grow to lay an egg.” She grabbed his palm and gently laid it on her belly. “I want you to be there when my belly is big. When you are… a bit larger and ready to handle a dragoness whom will grow with your eggs.”

The thoughts warmed his body with a quick mental image of her with a large belly. Her belly expanded, her body looking a bit ragged but she managed to hold her overall shape. He wasn’t sure if it was a deep personal feeling for him to be aroused by the idea of a swollen dragoness or it was instinctual. Either way, it kicked off a certain reaction.

“Huh.” Ember thought. Spike blinked and saw that Ember was looking between them. He looked down and saw just a slight bump of red flesh protruding between his slit. Despite it not fully in mass, Ember felt its warm surface touching her scales near her own neithers.

“That’s what got you aroused? Me being full of eggs?”

“I-I-I…” He couldn’t find a good response, feeling vexed by his own arousal, yet Ember didn’t seem to mind. Rather, she looked flattered and actually amused by it. She leaned in, licked his muzzle, a shade of red tint coloring his facial skills and more warmth spread across his body as she gave him a sultry look.

“I’m glad to know that that is one way to get you going.” Just as she was about to push more, grinding her hips on his, with her own vent secreting her own fluids, leaving a small, visibly string, he gasped out and stopped her.

“The food!” He managed to say, causing her to stop. She turned and saw that the carcass was now almost black and sizzling loudly. She looked down at him and saw he was not trying to go at her but trying to save the food… and maybe what blood he could.

She sighed and got off on top of him.

“Right, the food. Then… then we wait.”

Author's Note

So this chapter was... a small added part that wasn't intentional but morally obligated for a few of us. Me personally. So back 2016, I had tried to commit suicide and my recovery wasn't that great. I didn't want to do anything because well... I had no reason to do so. I didn't eat and thought nothing else. Not only that but I didn't want to eat meat because my thoughts were why did I get to eat another life but not take my own? (Not a vegetarian just didn't want meat at the time)
I had slit my wrists and lost some blood but not enough to warrant hospital situations. My family didn't help the situation so, I tried again the next day and felt so weak.
The reason for this chapter is because I didn't really have a person to back me up or really stop me from trying again. I ended up just watching Zootopia and that's what saved my life. A female character from a fictitious movie helped a male deal with his past and mistakes. I didn't have that and I wrote this one because I wanted this help.
In the end, I have Ember as more of a reason for Spike needing to be pushed on. To have practice with his morals and to understand him more. Hence the title name.

Again, thank you all for sticking by this. I apologize with no edit. If you see mistakes Ill correct them from your help.