Ultimate Brownie Cutter

by Pretzelninja

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1799

Pinkie tries to become a ninja to be able to cut brownies correcly

After a long day of failed attempts at cutting brownies into equal proportions to fit Twilight's standard's, Pinkie pie sets out to become a ninja and be able to cut all of the brownies into perfectly exact squares.

Published 2012-07-28 08:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-28 08:14:01 UTC

Ultimate Brownie Cutter

It had been a normal, uneventful day in Ponyville. Pinkie Pie had asked her friend Twilight if she could help with making some brownies, Twilight agreed thinking she could just get it done quickly and be on her way... but that was a few... or a lot of... hours ago, and because of her severe OCD-like condition in having everything be exact, she kept restarting the whole baking process... and it was starting to get dark outside. So while all of the other shops were closing, Sugarcube Corner bakery was still lit up.

"Pinkie your still doing it all wrong" said the stressed unicorn.

The pink pony sat up and placed her kitchen knife on the table. "What do you mean?" her smile started to fade she had been told of her failure for like the millionth time in a row by now.

Twilight picked up the knife her friend just laid down on the counter and examined the tray of brownies before them.

"All of these cuts are wrong... again" she said. "I told you, brownies are supposed to be cut into squares, you keep cutting them all jagged and sideways. It's... it's just all wrong"

Twilight tried to fix some of the lines her friend had made. Perfection has always been a big deal for her, even on things as small as how brownies looked. But eventually she gave up and threw the tray in the trash can... Only being caught at the last minute by pinkie and eaten just as equally fast. Twilight just watched in awe at how quickly the brownies disappeared.

"Well I guess that's why your here, to help me!" the pink pony said as she ate the last piece. "We can bake a new batch and I'll let you cut then this time so they can be perfect!”

Twilight didn't seem to like the idea of spending another second in the kitchen.

"Well..." she said. "I kinda have to... well... I don’t kno-"

Suddenly the door to the bakery swung open. And in stepped Applejack, covered in sweat. (as she usually was at the end of a work day.)

"Howdy everypony!" she said. "Im just passin though on my way home from the apple stand, couldn't believe y'all was still here, its getting pretty dark ya know"

"Yup!" replied pinkie. "Me and twilight were just going to make another batch of brownies because she threw them all away because I cant cut them up correctly but them I ate then so she has been helping me which kinda was like the time at winter wrap up when I ice skated over the ice the wrong way and twi had to help me do it the right way but were taking about brownies here not lakes! wouldn't it be cool to have a brownie the size of a lake though? it would be soooo big and it woul-

"I think I heard enouf" AJ said shoving a hoof in her friends mouth, which barely fit.

"And... well... sorry Pinkie it's getting kinda late for me I have to go home and... uh...check on spike or something" Twilight said. "Maybe you should practice more cutting until I come back tomorrow."

"You mean like training?" Pinkie said, her eyes getting wide.

"Um sure"

Twi didn’t know what else to say, she was tired and just wanted to get home.

"Like a ninja!?" said Pinkie, starting to shake with excitement.

"Yeah I guess so" she said, starting to get annoyed.

"I'm going to become the best ninja ever!" Pinkie yelled running out the door.

The two ponies walked outside and watched her run into the distance.

"I really don't understand her" AJ said. "where in tarantion does she get all that energy?"

"She just ate a whole thing of brownies in like... 10 secconds flat! Hah! See what I did there? Because Rainbow dash always... nevermind. I guess I'll go home now and see how Spike's doing. He expected me to be home a long time ago."

"Yeah I gotta get back to tha farm. See ya later"

"Bye"

They waved and eagerly headed separate ways home.

Pinkie had been doing her half run, half bounce thing for almost 3 straight hours. Nothing seemed to slow her down.

"I remember hearing stories from papa when i was a filly of ninja's who lived in the west" she thought."Now i guess all I have to do is keep going west until I find them... or they find me."

How she knew which was was west I don’t know, but just as she had that thought that a chain type thing with two metal balls attached to each end went flying out of the trees at her and wrapped around her legs. This completely caught her off guard causing her to trip, and in mid fall she saw the front of a rock before hitting her head on the front of it. It knocked the little pink pony out...

Her eyes slowly opened, she was resting on a soft bed... The room was warm and small, there was no windows. Only a small, lit fireplace in the corner.

"Heeelllooo!" Pinkie called. "Anypony home?"

Suddenly a door... of which she didn't notice it before, swung open. Standing in the doorway was a mare, or stallion? She couldn't tell. Every inch of her was covered in black clothing.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am Invisible" it said.

"No your not! I can see you just fine."

"Dang it! Everybody says that. Its my NAME! INVISIBLE! My parents were stupid, who names their kid with an adjective.." the pony's voice started to trail off as it began muttering to itself.

"Well Invisible it doesn't matter what your name is. Your my new friend. Even if you knocked me out while i was running" pinkie said, with a big smile on her face.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I was practicing my ninja throwing tactics from up in a tree and when i saw you run buy my aim shifted at the last second. You've been out for a couple hours." invisible said.

The pinkies eyes went extremely wide as she let out a gasp that seemed to last for longer then her lung capacity could hold.

"YOUR A.... ninja?" she said, her voice was really quiet on the last word.

"Well duh" Invisible said.

Her face lit up.

"Can you show me how to cut brownies?"

"What?"

Pinkie took a deep breath.

"Well you see i was with my friend twilight and we were making brownies and then she kept throwing them away because i couldn't cut them the right way and then Applejack came over and then i explained it to her and then twilight said i should train on cutting brownies like a ninja- well maybe not like that, but sort of. So then i left and went west like my papa said about the ninjas living here and then you hit me and then i woke up and said you were a ninja soooooooooo... can you?"

The ninjas mouth dropped, he had never seen anypony who could talk for that long without taking a single breath.

"You have lots of energy... I will train you to how to harness this energy into making you- The Ultimate Brownie Cutter."

"Ninja?" she asked.

"Yes ninja" it said. "Ultimate Brownie Cutter ninja"

"YAY!" Pinkie sprang out of the bed and jumped around like she was on fire.

"But first!" it said loudly. "You must sit still, and listen. Follow me outside"

She tried to hold still, as he led her out of a room and down a hall until they stood in front of two big doors.

"This!" it said. "Will be your training area!"

Suddenly the two doors swung open, revealing a courtyard.

"You said we had until tomorrow right?" it said.

"Pretty much" she replied

"Then you shall become a Ultimate Brownie Cutter Ninja!.... In less then 15 hours."

The pink pony smiled.

"Yay! Let the training BEGIN!"

It had been 15 hours now. Time for Pinkie to head back to Ponyville.

"I have taught you everything I know about the art of the cut." it said. "I present to you, your head-ribbon-thingy"

He extended his hoof out to her, containing her headband.

"Head-ribbon-thingy?" She asked, confused.

"Listen i don't know what its called just take it and get out of here and go Cut! Some! BROWNIES!" it said.

She took it and tied it around her head.

"Thank you!" She said.

"No.. thank you... friend."

They smiled and hugged.

"This will be the last time you see me, but think of me every time you wear that headband... ninja"

Everything became blurry for Pinkie. And she was unconscious.. again. Then she woke up to the sound of people going by. She was inside a garbage can in the middle of downtown ponyville.

"How did i get here" she thought, then she felt on top of her head and her hoof passed over something. "The headband!"

She looked at the sun.

"Only a couple of minutes until Twilight will be at the Bakery!" she yelled out loud.

Everypony stared. But she started running... She had to get to the bakery as fast as possible.

"Whats taking her so long" Twilight said.

She had been waiting in the bakery for about 10 min now. Pinkie was nowhere to be seen, so she headed towards the door.
*SLAM*
The door swung open wide and knocked twilight too the floor as Pinkie... covered in sweat and garbage with a tangled mane ran in.

"Im here Twi!" she yelled. "Sorry i was late!"

The purple pony slowly got off the floor.

"Its ok" she said. "UGH YOU SMELL AWFUL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?"

Pinkie took a large breath getting ready to start another story. Only to have a hoof shoved into her mouth.

"Nevermind. You don't have to tell me" Twilight said. "Lets just get started on these brownies, they have already been baked by Mr. Cake so I'll just get started cutting"

"No!" Pinkie yelled, taking Twilight by surprise. "Allow me."

"But remember what happened last tim-"

Twilight didn't get to finish because of the scene that had started to occur in front of her very eyes. All there was was a pink blur.. slicing Brownies. After a couple seconds it stopped.

"All done!" Pinkie said. Stepping back.

Twilight slowly walked up to the counter, pulling out a protractor from her saddlebag she brought with her.

"This is... impossible" Twilight said, gasping. "All of these angles are perfectly 90 degrees! Pinkie how did y-"

"Silence!" Pinkie said as she pointed to her headband. "I am... I AM A ULTIMATE BROWNIE CUTTER NINJA!"

~End