Chapter 1: Arena Battle Royal

Chapter 1: Arena Battle Royal

I awake in a mass of tendrils and tentacles. Wait, I am the mass of tendrils and tentacles. I slowly morph myself into my original body and clothing. Getting up, I look over at Dave to see him staring at me in concern. I chuckle uneasily. “Did you see my tentacles? Cause we’ve probably seen enough hentai-“

“NOPE!” He yells, throwing his hands up before turning to his corner of the cell. I laugh at his antics, my unease slowly melting away. I sigh, calming down from the laughing. I look around us to see that the cell is rather neat and clean for a dungeon. The unease returns, though for a different reason. I look at Dave.

“Hey Dave, remember when you teleported? I saw your hand glow. What was up with that?” I ask. He looks over at me and looks at his left hand. I finally notice that his hand has a purple mark on it.

“Well, remember that one game called Dishonored?” He asks. I nod. Then, my jaw literally drops to the floor, much to Dave’s amusement.

“No way, you got magical powers,” I say. I chuckle as a silly thought came to me. “You’re a magical assassin,” I say like an idiot before laughing.

“Shut up Max, I have magic powers. I can be able to stop time, summon packs of rats, posses the living-“

“And. how exactly are you going to get these powers if you needed a rune in the game?” I ask. Dave freezes in place.

“Um... I don’t know. Wait, how are you going to improve your skills?” He asks back, trying to turn the table.

“I’m basically a murderous version of Kirby, but I can keep what I take. I can literally improve whenever I want,” I answer coolly.

“Murderous Kirby? Doesn’t he already eat things alive?” He asks. I nod. Suddenly, I hear the sound of hoofsteps of a guard. I look over to see this newcomer. He comes into view from the right, and stops in front of our cell. He turns to us before speaking.

“Your Royal Highness is coming to interrogate you two in an hour. Be prepared to answer any and all questions from The Royal Sun Herself,” he rants. I nod in short response

“Cool,” I say simply. He trots off to God knows where...

Present

“... and you know the rest,” I say with a nonchalant hand motion. Sunbutt nods while listening to me. She sighs once I was finished.

“... this is a difficult decision for me,” she says.

“I say execute them,” the guard on her right says. Before Sunbutt could respond, I scoff.

“Dude, I took a spear where my lungs or heart would be. If I could die, that should be a killing blow. I’m a shapeshifter, I could just change the position of anything I consider vital into a different area that won’t get hit or badly damaged,” I say. “Also, if I wanted to hurt either of you, I would just do so. I know what I can do,” I continue. Sunbutt hums in thought. The guard just looks pissed.

“Oh really? How about you and me, right now? I bet that rookie just hit the wrong spot, I’ll teach you to mouth off!” He rants on. Sunbutt gives the guard a soft glare before he shuts up. I shrug. The Horse Lady stops for a minute, thinking about something.

“... Very well then. Max, I would like to you offer a wager,” Sunbutt says. I look at her in the eyes and see a spark of... amusement? I could see Dave’s face in the corner of my eye, shaking his head.

“... alrighty lady, what’s the deal?” I ask. She smiles softly.

“If you and David can defeat five of my personal guards, without killing them of course, you and your friend can go free to an extent.”

“And if I lose?”

“I doubt you will,” Sunbutt says. The guard that mouthed off to me earlier gives her an offended look. I hum in thought.

“Wait, that’s not an answer!” Dave says in the corner. I saw Sunbutt crack a smile for a split second. A troller are we?

“Alright, if I lose Dave gets humiliated by having to exclaim that he is a trash bag while wearing nothing but a garbage can,” I say. Each guard raises one eyebrow, but Sunbutt nods like this was a normal conversation. Dave is freaking out.

“Wait, what the hell man!? Don’t betray me!” He exclaims. I crack a smile for a second. “Don’t you do it.”

“Can I refuse?” I ask, trying to maintain some loyalty.

“Yes,” Sunbutt says. “But I doubt you will.” I nod. Dave gives me the darkest glare I’ve ever seen. Being the jackass I am though...

“Dude, that’s perfect logic. I can’t argue with that,” I say. Sunbutt nods. Dave freezes before placing his hands on his face.

“It is decided then, Mr Max,” she says, bowing slightly.

“Indeed Mrs...”

“Miss Celestia,” she corrects. I bow slightly as she gestures the guards to escort us out.

“She’s not so bad after all,” I say. Dave drops his hands and gives me another death glare.

“Max, I swear to God I’ll kill you if you lose this on purpose,” he says. I shake my head.

“Nah man, we’ll be fine. I’ll just knock them around a bit and you'll do your slashy-slash,” I say. I could feel Dave glare daggers into my very soul.

“Oh really? Max, I know that you’ll be fine, but do you remember that I'm not invincible like you?” He asks. I nod.

"I'll watch your back dude, don't worry," I say. Dave rolls his eyes. “Also, I’m not invincible, I just heal quicker than you.” Dave ignores me and brings up something else.

"And if we win we get freedom to an extent. She's gonna make us slaves Max," he says in a worried tone.

“Dave, didn't you see her expressions? She was curious. If she sees that we're able to take down her personal guards easily, we won't be considered inferior enough to be slaves or some dumb crap like that,” I say wisely. The bars of the cell rattle from the knocking of a hoof.

"It's time to go to the arena, creatures," the guard says. Dave shakes his head as he gets up. I get up as well. We walk out of our cell, hoping to be away from it for a long time.

We get escorted to some sort of indoor arena. It was like a mini colosseum, with most of the seats a royal purple with a velvety looking feel to it. The only seats that looked different were the ones to my left. There were four seats in the midsection that had some space around them. The one farthest to the left had a purple and dark pink star on the front of it. The second one from the left has a sun on it. Next to that seat, was a blue seat with a white moon. Then, the fourth and final seat had a pink crystalline heart. I look at the ‘pit’ of the arena. It’s a standard pit with sand for the floor. I hum in thought. Our escort brings us to one of the chairs closest to the pit.

“This is where you will be up against the elite. I hope you’re ready for a world of pain buddy,” the guard escorting us says. Dave goes to get a wooden sword and I sit down while the guard sits on my right. I sigh in boredom as I wait for the fight. As Dave comes back, I realize he hasn’t really practiced his new magic yet...

“Hey Dave, you, me, train, now,” I say.

“Won’t you be tired? You’re weak looking as it is-“ the guard starts to say. I hold up a hand.

“No, I'll be fine, it’s Dave I’m worried about.”

“Max, I’m not inexperienced,” David says. I shake my head.

“Not sword play. I mean your magic. You don’t know your powers too well, and you could accidentally teleport into an area I or your opponents strike. I'm training you to use magic whether you like it or not,” I say. Dave sighs, and relents as I lead him to the center of the pit.

We stand in the pit, the guard is watching us closely. “Alright Dave, tell me, what did you feel before you teleported?” I ask, circling around him. He looks at the floor to ponder.

“...Ah, I see what you’re thinking,” he says. He closes his eyes, and brings up his marked hand. After a moment, he clenches it, apparently triggering it to glow bright as he seems to concentrate. I stop circling and wait for him to continue. He opens his eyes, revealing them to be glowing a dark purple. That actually freaked me out for a second.

“Alright, try to concentrate on where you want to go,” I suggest. He nods before looking beside me. He unclenches his hand and disappears. He reappears beside me in the blink of an eye. It scares me enough to jump back a little. I gather myself before chuckling. “Alright, good. We’re so fricken lucky to be getting this stuff easily,” I say. He scoffs and nods. “Alright, now let’s try dodging exercises.” I raise my right hand and morph my hand into a wrench. Dave frowns.

“Max.”

“If you can dodge a wrench-“

“Max I swear to God-“

“You can dodge a ball.” I quickly threw my ‘wrench’ at him. He teleports just in time to dodge it. He reappears beside me. I grin evilly. “Hey, can I have my wrench back? It’s handmade.” Dave punches me in the face before walking over to the fake wrench. My face merely reforms to its original shape as I laugh at our antics. The guard in the stands looks so confused as to what the hell is going on.

We train for over an hour before being told to sit at the side of the pit. Horses of all types enter the stands. The guard stays in his seat, genuinely curious to see us humans in action. As I look at all the horses, I come to realize they are mostly smaller than actual horses. They're ponies. Finally, I can see the four weird seats from earlier be seated by their owners. Celestia, a purple, blue, and pink smaller versions of her are seated in the color scheme of their seat. I can see the purple one look over at Dave and I before quickly looking back at Celestia, seemingly excited. The blue one seems to be worried, and the pink one is confused and worried.

"Well Dave, she multiplied," I say in a joking manner.

"Hmm," he responds distantly. I sigh.

"Buddy, we'll be fine. You're not gonna die. Sure we're pit against some professional ponies in melee and magical combat, but we'll be fine," I say. Dave slowly turns his head to me. He breathes in.

"Max. I know you're serious, but you sound like you're on drugs," he says. I start laughing. Dave joins in as I start clutching my stomach. The pink pony standing next to me also joins in as we all laugh... Wait a minute... I slowly stop laughing and look over at this new stranger. She slowly stops laughing and looks at me too. Dave stops laughing, and looks at the pink pony. She's just a regular looking pink pony, with a poofy darker pink mane.

"..."

"..."

"..."

I look over at Dave. I look back at pink pony. "Who are you?" I ask calmly. She giggles.

"My name's Pinkie Pie! My friends and I were invited to come to this arena immediately to watch some monster fight the guards!" She says in a fast pace that I can barely follow. She gasps. "Are you two the monsters! You don't act like monsters, anyone that can laugh like you has to be good!" She says. I do a double-take. "Oops! I gotta go! Rarity's calling! Bye! Good luck in the arena today!" She says before zipping off to God knows where. I look at Dave.

"Fricken ponies man," I say simply, before I see Celestia clear her throat. Everyone goes silent almost instantly.

"Welcome everypony! I am here on behalf of recent events regarding the creatures from yesterday. One of them has proven to me that they mean no harm to us. The incident yesterday was a simple misunderstanding," she says.

"She sure has a lot of faith in us," I say. Dave shushes me.

"Although, that is only one of the reasons we are here. One of my personal guards had given me the idea to test out their abilities by arguing with them. The creatures and I made a wager. If they win against my guards, and one special guest-"

"Wait, we didn't agree on that," I say to Dave. He gives me the famous 'I told you so' look. "Ugh, it doesn't matter, I got your back nonetheless."

"-of course, we have established that no guard is to be killed in this arena. Now, without further delay!" Celestia says with enthusiasm. A guard raises a trumpet. "Get ready!" David and I step into the center of the pit, standing back to back. "Gets set!"

"Why does she make it sound like a race?" I wonder out loud. Five guards walk out and surround us. I see the smirk on some of their faces, but I can smell the unease from some of them. I ball up my fists. "remember Dave, non-lethal hits, dodge quickly, and strike hard," I remind him. He grunts in acknowledgement.

"Begin!" Celestia exclaims before sitting down.

I feel Dave teleport away and smile. I immediately sprint toward the three guards ahead of me.

I make a beeline for the guard ahead of me. He smirks and lifts his sword with his mouth to strike. I stop in front of him suddenly, making him miss when he tried to attack the immediate vicinity in front of him. He was not left to handle me alone, as I felt the whack of a pole of some kind against my head. Looking over at what just hit me, I see a unicorn guard smiling with a spear in his magical grip. "Really?" I ask. Suddenly, something hard and metallic impacts me from behind. Even though there was a lot of force and weight behind the attack, I barely moved from my spot. I look behind myself to see a pegasus guard with a mace. I chuckle, causing my opponents to give me a look of confusion. "Let's stop the tickle fight, shall we?" Using memories of Prototype, I try to command my body to morph my arms into bigger, stone-like fists.

My body follows my orders, and I have the best weapons to use in a situation like this. I look at my new appendages and smile. "It's hammer time," I say before hefting my right arm. I swing with enough force to punch the unicorn guard hard enough to fly back into the pit's walls. I laugh darkly at the display and look at the next two. Using my giant hand, I gesture them to come at me. The regular guard charges at me, his eyes filled with the determination to take me down to prove victorious. I ready myself and prepare to knock him back. He positions his sword to face his right, thus he must be trying to either stab me in my arm or cut it off completely. Piece of cake. I raise my right arm and try to blackslap him, but he surprises me by stopping infront of my range of attack, spinning the opposite direction of the slap, and using the momentum to throw the sword at me. It flies right at my face, and pierces my forehead, stopping at the hilt. The crowd gasps at this display, only to look sick as I just pull the sword out of my head. The injury closes up slowly.

"Heh, nice one," I say. The guard stands there, stunned at my regeneration. I toss the sword aside and punched the guard. He flies back, landing on his side.

"No!" The pegasus guard says as he flies over to check his comrade. After making sure he was still breathing, the pegasus guard turns towards me.

"You know, that sword actually stung a little," I taunt. The guard yells in rage, and charges at me, accidentally leaving his mace behind. I merely side-step as he flies past me. He crashes into the walls of the pit and knocks himself out. I smirk in victory. “Are you not entertained!?” I yell out, raising my fists, only to realize my hammer fists were gone. It seems that my body will only keep shape if I concentrate enough.

While I was fighting the three guards, Dave was to fight the other two. Unlike me, he was nervous. Right after I charged off to fight, he teleported to the unicorn guard to his left. Using his wooden sword, he bats the guard with a good amount of force. The guard growls slightly and turns around to blast him with a bit of magic. He targets Dave, lowering his glowing horn. Dave disappears the moment the laser fires, allowing the laser to hit the guard’s companion, a regular guard. As the other guard falls over from the sudden force, Dave appears behind the unicorn and swing the sword like a bat. It knocks out the guard, surprising Dave.

“Ow! Watch where you aim tha-“ the regular guard stops mid sentence as he see Dave standing over the unconscious unicorn. “You dirty little-“ the guard rushes over to Dave, preparing to use hoof-to-hoof combat. He was caught by surprise however, when Dave teleports right on top of the pony, landing on his golden armor.

“Oh sh-“ was all David could say before he tries to hold on for dear life while the guard jumps around violently to try and get the dazed human off him. Finally, he gets on his hind legs and starts to fall backwards in an attempt to body slam. Dave realizes this and teleports away quickly. The guard accidentally slams him self on his back, causing quite a bit of pain for himself. Dave appears on his back on the floor, next to me as I lean on the wall to watch the display. “Max, *pant* can you *pant* help me?” He asks. I shrug.

“Nah, you’re doing fine,” I say.

“Screw *pant* you *pant* asshole,” Dave says as he tries to get up. He clenches his hand to prepare for teleportation, but his hand barely shimmers.

“It seems you’re out of magic to use for now,” I note. He shoots me a glare, panting.

“No shit Sherlock,” he says.

“Use this as a learning tool, don’t rely solely on magic,” I say. “Props on making them hit each other though,” I continue. He gives me a thumbs up.

“Why hasn’t Celestia called match yet?” He asks. I nod towards the opponent that tried to body slam him.

“He’s up and about to ram you,” I say. Dave immediately side steps. The guard rushes past him and rams into the wall next to me. He falls to floor. He gets up shakily, and notes how badly beat up he is and sighs.

“To Tartarus with this,” the guard says before laying down, exhausted, beaten, and most likely bruised. I smirk.

“Good job buddy, you fought two ‘elite’ guards and survived,” I congratulate. Dave nods, finally catching his breathe. I finally take a look at the crowd. Everyone is stomping their hooves. Probably their version of clapping. I see Pinkie in the stands, waving frantically at me before an orange pony holds her down. I smirk and wave back at the strange female pony. I look at Celestia to see her smiling at me. She stands up, and everyone falls silent.

“That was definitely entertaining. Though, I believe I said there was a special guest here to fight these strange creatures. I give you all, Captain Shining Armor of the Royal Guard!” She exclaims before sitting down. The ponies go in an excited uproar, cheering for this pony’s name. From the entrance of the pit, I see a single, white unicorn with a blue mane trot out in confident strides. Shining Armor, I presume, trots to one side of the pit, staring at us like we’re animals. He stops at the opposite side of the pit.

“So, you’re the monsters I’ve been hearing about,” he says. I shrug.

“Dunno ‘bout you, but I don’t see any monsters around here,” I say. He barks a laugh. His horn glows and three shield-like auras surround him.

“Max, I think he’s going for a defensive attack. Defense can be a great offense after all,” David says quietly to me, keeping his gaze on the pony.

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely what he’ll do,” I say in the same volume.

“... I’ll go first. I think I can take him,” Dave says, stepping forward. I stare at Shining for a minute before nodding. “I can feel that some of my energy has come back.”

“Alright, savor whatever’s left of your energy and remember that he’s mostly a defensive opponent. Your best bet is to try and coax him into an offensive attack. Then, try coming from behind to strike,” I reply. Dave nods as I step back.

“What? Sending your lackey to do dirty work?” Shining asks. I scoff.

“I ain’t the boss of him smartass,” I say. Dave takes this opportunity to try to circle around the unicorn in a sprint. Like I suspected, his magical shields immediately jets towards Dave. Shining also regrows shields with his magic to replace the expended numbers. Dave dodges each shield narrowly, slowing down or speeding up to make them miss. He grabs one, flips it slightly and jumps on it. Before it could dissipate, Dave jumps off it towards Shining Armor. Predictably, he merely reconjures shields to protect himself. Dave lands face first into a shield before comically sliding off. Shining starts laughing at the admittingly funny display. He fails to notice Dave raise an arm. Dave teleports, appearing above Shiny. Shining stops laughing enough to look up to see Dave’s wooden sword smack him in the face. Shining staggers back, raising a hoof to wipe off the blood from his nose.

“Heheh, that looked like it hurt,” I say. He growls and a magic shield flies at me. I side step and twirled. As the shield passes me, I morph my arm into something like a whip. Using the momentum of the twirl, I whip my arm at Shining, condensing my fist to make it hard as stone. Shining’s head whips the direction I whip-punched him and falls to the ground. After seeing him breathe, we realize he’s just knocked out, thankfully. The crowd slowly stomps their amusement. I see Pinkie in the crowd again, jumping and screaming excitedly. I turn my attention to Celestia as she gets up.

“My subjects, I would like to announce that the arena battle is over, and the victors are the humans!” She exclaims with a hint of genuine excitement. As everyone cheers, I raise my hands in the air.

“Are you not entertained!?” I yell. Dave facepalms... and copies my gesture.

“Are you not entertained!?” Dave yells too. The crowd only grows louder in responce.

Later, in a waiting room with nothing but a number of chairs and a pile of magazines with two doors on opposite sides, I sit in a comfy chair and read a magazine about home style crafting. By that, I mean I actually just keep criticizing the terrible practicality. “It’s literally a freaking tent! I know these ponies aren’t as technologically advanced as humans, but this is just stupid!”

Dave just sits beside me, looking at the picture of a ‘house’ as well. “Between the fact that they have magic and they have plentiful resources, I agree. A five by three foot tent is not a house.” We were told to just wait for Celestia and some guests. I, of course, am able to patiently wait. Dave is ready to get the hell out of dodge. I look over at him.

“Exactly, you would think that after using a disco ball as a dress, they would realize they need to be a little smarter. But nooo, they made a contest on whether or not they can be worse,” I continue.

“Indeed, It is sad to see the current generation of ponies. Back then, they were not so trivial in terms of clothing,” a new voice says. David and I jump in surprise and finally notice the blue winged unicorn from the arena standing at the doorway. She snorts in amusement. “For valiant warriors such as yourself, you two seem a bit jumpy,” she comments. I sigh.

“Well, when people sneak into rooms like a ninja, they tend to scare people,” I reply. Dave chuckles.

“And boy, you scared us good,” he says. The new guest smiles sheepishly.

“Forgive me, it wasn’t my intention to sneak up on you two,” she apologizes.

“It’s okay, what’s your name?” I ask. She smiles genuinely.

“My name is Luna,” she replies simply. I nod.

“I’m Max, this is my friend David,” I say in return. Luna nods.

“My pleasure,” she says. The doors at one side of the room open to reveal Celestia and seven other strangers. Of course, the pink menace was one of them.

“Greetings Max and David, I brought several guests with me to introduce,” she says. Pinkie immediately zips up to me.

“Oh my gosh! It’s so good to see you again! I saw you kick butt earlier, it was so cool!” The deranged looking mare says quickly. “First you were like, ‘Rawr! I’m super scary!’ And they were like, ‘not scary to us!’ And they went bam, bam! Then you went all, ‘Stop the tickle fight!’ And then, you were all elastic like and beat those ponies up!” Pinkie rants. I just barely understood any of that. She takes a deep breathe to continue, but I silence her with a finger.

“I know. I was there too,” I say. She grins sheepishly before a skittle-haired, cyan pegasus flies up in my face.

“Woah woah woah, you know Pinkie?” She asks suspiciously. An orange hoof reaches up and yanks the pegasus away from my face

“Now simmer down Rainbow, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t met Pinkie,” an orange pony says. The purple winged unicorn walks up and inspects Dave.

“I’ve never seen or heard of anything like these humans from all the books I’ve read,” she says. I feel a weight on my head, and noticed a distinct lack of Pinkie.

“Wow! He’s super tall!” Pinkie says from above. I sigh.

“This is my life now, isn’t it?” I ask no one in particular.

Author's Note

Wow! Already 100 views? I feel like that’s an achievement of some kind. Anyway, I hope ya’ll enjoyed this chapter, I can’t promise any chapters coming up as fast as this.

Also, some of you might have noticed that I accidentally published this chapter early. I apologize for that.