Lost Lily of the Valley

Lily was never happy with whatever she grew. Roseluck and Daisy could grow beautiful blossoms that would catch the eye and tickle the nose. Theirs smelled beautiful and tantalizing, and they even tasted delicious. Not so with Lily. Hers were pitiful and small. Dull and bland. They neither smelled as good as she wanted, nor tasted as delicious as others. They were never good enough, never pretty enough, and never as delightfully-scented as they could be.

She could do better.

It was with a heavy heart that Lily wished her sisters goodbye as she went on her travels. She left Ponyville to cross Equestria in search of better fertilizers, better techniques for growing, and better skills she could bring to the table in her quest for the perfect blossoms. The talents were out there for anypony willing to seize them, she just needed to find them. Surely there was somepony that held such secrets, and there was no price too big for Lily to pay to reach the same level of skill as her sisters. She was going to find it, by hook or by crook.

The train rattled along the tracks, clacking down its unerring path. It was heading for the a little town she didn’t remember the name of, but was supposed to house one of the foremost minds in the fields of botany. If that was true, Lily would find herself somewhere further along her quest to find the perfect recipe of soil, fertilizer, and a green hoof, and she could make her creations as beautiful as she imagined they should be. She’d be able to show her sisters a thing or two about flowers, and nopony would question her skills ever again.

…when she returned home.

What would she say? She left so rudely, and with barely a message. Just a crudely-scrawled letter on her nightstand for her sisters to find that said, “I’ve gone to learn more about myself and my cutie mark. I will return when I can, and with more to show for it than these few years of adulthood have taught me. I can’t be the sprout in the garden anymore. I need to be my own blossom. I will return when I know what I’m meant to be.

With Love, Lily.”

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

The train screeched slowly to a halt, and the announcer said, “Dozy Cove. All ponies for Dozy Cove.”

This was her stop. She picked up her bag from the seat next to her and disembarked. She stepped out onto the platform and into what felt like a wet soup. It smelled briny, and it was covered in a thick fog, blocking her vision from anything but a few feet away. It was the early morning hours, but this was impressive. Maybe she should have been keeping an eye out the window so she would know what she was getting into. Still, she threw her saddlebag on and trotted out of the station into the town, hunting for the pony of botanical repute she was hunting for.

When she entered the town the first thing she noticed was how quiet everypony was. There was some chatter she could hear, but it sounded muted, like there was something blocking their words from reaching her as easily as they might have. She chalked it up to the thick fog that covered the ground, but it was still unnerving to be walking through the fog, hearing hoofsteps somewhere that sounded far away, only to nearly bump into a pony walking toward her.

“Oh! Excuse me, please,” she said, as just that happened. The pony didn’t respond to her, nor did he seem to acknowledge her presence. He hurried through the fog, giving her barely a glance before he disappeared into the fog, seemingly in a hurry.

She continued through town, following the repeated lights that glowed dimly in the distance. Streetlamps lit with cool, yellow flames marked her way down what she hoped was main street as the sound of the nearby ocean crashed through it to assail her ears. It made everything else she heard just that much more difficult to discern, but she wasn’t trying to listen to ponies. She was looking for somepony.

She finally found her target, lit up near a sputtering lamp with the glass broken out of it. Nearly choked by the fog, it coughed fitfully, but it still illuminated the sign: “Fish Head’s Herbs and Poultices.”

The door was closed, and there hung a sign that said the same, and Lily had to take a moment to check her journal. She reached back and flipped open her bags, pulling out a worn and torn book covered in her scratchy writing; yet another thing she wasn’t pleased with. She double checked the name. Two months ago she had heard of the mare named Fish Head. Somewhere on the west coast, she was reported to have lived, off in a corner of some podunk town by the sea. She was supposed to be one of the best herbalists in Equestria, but also one of the oldest. Lily was worried she wouldn’t have made it in time before the old mare kicked it, but she was here, and it looked like the shop still stood. She took that as a sign and rapped on the door with her hoof, then waited.

It took a minute, but Lily heard somepony moving within, and she waited. She was rewarded with the door opening to reveal an ancient mare, of indeterminate years, but it was clear they were many. The mare blinked slowly at her.

“What is it?” the old mare demanded.

“You’re miss Fish Head?”

“Aye.”

“My name is Lily, and—”

“Don’t care who you are. Get to the point.”

Lily was taken aback. The old mare’s words stung, but if she let a little thing like words stop her she’d never learn to be better.

“I want to learn to grow flowers.”

Fish Head leaned to the side and glanced at Lily’s flank. Her own flank was covered by a large cloak, but Lily had heard stories that it was a fish’s head, hence her name.

“With a cutie mark like that, what do you need me for?”

Lily glanced at her cutie mark and gave Fish Head a small smile. “I can grow flowers, yes, but they’re not enough. There was so many other ponies that do the same thing. Mine need to stand out. They need to be ‘the best’, and if that’s not possible they need to grab attention. Right now they don’t.”

“Hmph! With a cutie mark like that I’m not surprised. I’m glad you recognize you still have a lot to learn, though. Come inside.”

Lily grinned wide. She was in! She trotted inside after the older mare and shut the door behind her. Once the door was closed, she took a look around the shop.

It was small, but it was homey. Fish Head clearly took great pride in it. Everything was organized on the shelves, laid out in an easy-to-access manner, and it was obvious where to find things. Lily may not have known what they were or what they did, but she knew ‘where’ things were.

What were they, though?

“As you might have guessed,” Fish Head began, “I began my trade as a simple fishmonger.”

Lily hadn’t guessed that, but it made sense. The smell of fish permeated the entire room.

“It isn’t very lucrative on this side of the coast. My customers consisted mostly of griffins. Sometimes I’ll get a few creatures visiting from down south of Equestria, but ponies didn’t make up my customer base until I discovered my talent wasn’t selling fish.”

“If it wasn’t fish, how did you figure it out?”

Fish head lifted her cloak to reveal her cutie mark. It was exactly as advertised: A fish head with x’s on the eyes. A bit of bone was even sticking out. “Look at that and tell me what you think it might be if not killing fish?”

Lily grimaced at the marking, but she shook her head. “I have no idea.”

“Exactly! It’s a dead fish, plain and simple. I was destined to kill fish, but for what purpose?” Fish Head lowered herself into a rocking chair by a crackling fire. She motioned for Lily to sit down, but there were no other seats. She came over and just lowered herself onto the rug. “My parents hated it. They thought I enjoyed killing fish.”

“They were wrong?’

Fish Head barked a laugh. “They were right! I did enjoy it! I loved fishing! I was good at it, too, but how are you going to make a living killing fish in Equestria when nopony wants to buy it?”

“Surely there are some ponies who—”

“Not enough,” Fish head interrupted. “Not nearly enough, and when there’s competition for a service, too many ponies get involved, and the prices go down. I was floundering.” She sighed heavily. “My parents were mad at me, the town found no use for me, so I left home. I could survive, that wasn’t hard. You ever eaten fish?”

Lily shook her head.

“It’s delicious, but that’s beside the point. You wanted plants, aye?”

Lily nodded. “Yes, I want—”

“I don’t care what you want, just shut up and listen.”

Lily snapped her mouth shut.

“Fish are a great source of fertilizer. One of the best, in fact. Most ponies use dung. That’s small time. That’s weak. That barely does anything, and you need the right dung. With fish, you get everything you need all in one easy-to-kill package. Best part is the head. You can eat the rest, grind up the head, and fertilize with that. You waste nothing.”

Grind up…? Oh. Lily was going to be sick. She wobbled.

Fish Head laughed. “So you get it, aye? You still want to stay?”

Lily wanted to say no. She wanted to leave. To forget what she’d just heard. It was disgusting! It was vile!

…but did it work?

Lily gazed around the room. Anywhere but at Fish Head’s cheerful gaze. Among the bottles of oils and powders, there were growing plants. Vines, herbs, and several flowers. They looked like they were moved regularly, and since Fish Head was an herbalist, many had been cut or trimmed of excess that she could sell. The windowsill was filled with them, all growing green and strong. No matter the plant, it was doing exceedingly well. Even if Fish Head’s technique was macabre, it was effective.

“Yes… yes I will. I can’t be a nopony anymore. My flowers have to stand out. I don’t want to just be a pony in the background anymore. For that, I’ll do anything.”

“I guess we’ll see about that, won’t we, little filly? Get some sleep, we start first thing in the morning.”

Lily was given neither a bed nor a blanket, but she made do. She took what was available in the small shop and positioned herself near the fire while Fish Head went up to a small loft to sleep. It was cold the entire night, and what sleep she got was poor, but she wasn’t going to give up. She couldn’t give up. Not when she was so close to learning something new.

Fish head woke her up the next morning with a kick to the ribs. Breakfast was a mess of soggy oats. Fish head said nothing the entire time, and Lily didn’t want to bother her, instead just waiting for her cue to say something or for Fish Head to ask a question.

Instead, what happened was that after Breakfast, Fish Head led her around the house to check all the plants. What Fish Head would do was look at the plant, then look at Lily. At first, Lily wasn’t sure what she wanted, but Lily eventually gave her opinion on the plant. The first one, she said was fine, and Fish head cuffed her upside the head.

“It needs watered, stupid.”

So Lily went to get some water. When she was done, Fish Head pointed at the next one. Lily watered that one, too, and received a smack for her efforts.

“That one’s a succulent! It doesn’t need watered! Have you never seen anything but a flower in your life? Dear Celestia I’ve made a mistake.”

Lily didn’t water that one, then Fish head pointed to the next plant.

Lily studied it for a moment before she volunteered an answer. It looked okay to her. The plant a crawling vine that was set next to the windowsill. It had dragged itself up the side and around the edge of the window to dangle down from above. It looked okay, and she said so.

“Good, good. I’m not sure if that was just a guess because I take good care of my plants or what, but good. You’re actually studying now instead of agreeing with me.”

Hesitantly pleased with her progress, Lily smiled and followed Fish Head around the shop to all the plants, carrying the watering can. She received more cuffs than praise, but she was expecting that. She didn’t know much about plants besides flowers, Fish Head was right about that. That was what she wanted to learn, and by Luna, she’d do it right!

After the morning’s rounds of her shop, Fish Head motioned silently for Lily to follow her outside. She obeyed, and Fish Head locked the shop behind them, then took her down the road toward the ocean. The morning light was actually visible. There was still some of that seemingly perpetual mist covering the ground, but it was thinner today than it had been last night. Lily could see the coastline, with the waves crashing up against the shore and a few scattered boats passing by.

Fish Head took Lily down to a poorly-kept jetty at the edge of the main wharf. It was crewed by a small group of griffins, and one single pegasus. They all waved as Fish Head approached, and a couple whistled as they eyed Lily.

“Ey, Fishy. You got yourself a guppy, eh?” The surliest griffin said with a smile as they approached.

“Somewhat, but I’d call her a sprout more than a guppy. Firmly with her hooves on land, this one.”

“What’s she comin’ to you fer, then? You’re as much a landlubber as I’m a seagull.”

Fish Head tapped the side of her muzzle with a hoof. “Wants to learn my secrets, she does.”

“Secrets?” He burst out laughing and the others joined him. “You’ve as many secrets as I’ve scars! Good luck, little missy.” He passed Fish Head a smelly sack filled with something that dripped. Fish Head slung it over her back, and Lily retched. The entire crowd laughed uproariously as she did, and her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

“Come on, girl. We’re done here,” Fish Head said.

“See you later, ladies!” the griffin shouted.

They left the group behind, but the smell from the sack kept Lily wheezing.

“What is that?” she finally asked.

“Fish heads.” Came the curt response.

“Fish heads? You mean, like the fertilizer, you said?”

Fish Head nodded. “The same. I’m too old to fish them up myself, anymore, so I rely on them for my supply. Ponies pay through the nose for what I make, but I still need the heads to make them.”

“And you’ll teach me that?” Lily asked excitedly.

“Aye, I might as well. I’m old, and nopony else has ever expressed interest. It would be a terrible shame to allow the secret to die with me.”

Lily could hardly contain her excitement, but she tried. She didn’t want Fish Head to know she was so happy to learn, because she might get more belligerent with her. She was already somewhat… acerbic.

When they returned to the shop, Lily waited patiently for Fish Head to begin the process, but instead, she sat down at the table and dropped the fish heads on top. She motioned to them, then at a large stone mortar and pestle enarby.

“Get grinding, girl.”

Lily looked shocked. “What?”

“I’m old, you’re young. I know the secret, you don’t. I’m now telling it to you. Get grinding.”

Lily obeyed, no matter how disgusting it was. The smell of sun-warmed fish was overpowering, and there were several occasions where she had to stop and retch. She almost vomited into the bowl, but stopped herself in time. She didn’t want to know what Fish Head would have done had she down so. Maybe it would make the fertilizer better? She almost puked again just thinking about it.

When the fish heads were ground down to a fine paste, Fish Head had her add several other ingredients, making it thicker, then thinner, then making it smell funny, then adding some other powders to dry it up. The day went with her preparing it, then she was ordered to leave it on an open window sill. Lily noticed when she put the dish up that the neighbors closed their windows. Their houses weren’t too close by, but the smell was powerful enough Lily couldn’t blame them.

“It doesn’t smell as bad as all that. They’re all just too sensitive. They don’t like me, but I’m sure you gathered that,” Fish Head said.

“I can imagine, yes. Why do you live here if they all hate you? Couldn’t you get a house nearer the ocean? It would save you a walk.”

“I’ve lived here most of my life! I’m not moving just because some ponies got houses next to me before they thought about where they were living! Now come on. I have an errand I want to finish before night fall. It’s Friday.”

“What does Friday mean?”

“It means I have an errand to finish before nightfall, now come along.”

Lily followed. They walked out down the street, the fog rolling in heavy as evening closed in. Fish Head brought a lantern with her and they pushed their way through the fog. Ponies gave them a wide berth on the streets as they made their way through town. Lily sniffed herself and realized she smelled terribly of fish. She reminded herself to bathe.

“Where are we going?” Lily asked.

“I was married once, a long time ago. My husband is long dead, but I come out every Friday to give him a gift as a way of telling him I haven’t forgotten him, nor have I forgotten my promise.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!”

“Is it? It’s a terrible chore, but I’ve never reneged on a promise, and though I made this one foolishly, I shan’t be reneging on it, either.”

“It’s not a good promise?”

“You’ll ideally never have to know the answer to that question, but you’re young and strong, and I could use a hoof in case I fall over.”

“Is that the only reason I’m here?”

“Yes.”

Lily shut her mouth after that. She walked with Fish Head out to a small cliff near the ocean. It was heavily beaten by the waves, and at the tip were several graves overlooking the water. There was a break in the fog at the end of the cliff, and they could see the setting sun when they were standing at the top. It was a beautiful, picturesque view, and Lily had to appreciate it, despite her present, gruff company. Fish Head ignored it and walked up to an old gravestone. She sat down in front of it and stared. She didn’t say anything, but just stared at the stone for several minutes. Lily didn’t want to say anything to interrupt, so she sat at the edge, waiting. After some time, Fish Head stood back up with a heavy sigh, and walked back out to the edge of the grave site. She didn’t look Lily in the eye, but just walked past and headed back into town.

After a while of silence, Lily finally broke down and asked. “Was your husband a nice stallion?”

“He wasn’t a stallion.”

“Oh!” Lily’s mind raced as she tried to understand what that meant. “Was she a nice mare?”

“He wasn’t a mare.”

“Uh… was he a nice…” Lily struggled to figure out what Fish Head meant.

“He was a nice creature, yes.”

“Oh!” She thought about the griffins on the dock. “A griffin?”

“No.”

“A minotaur?”

“No.”

Lily couldn’t think of many other creatures that might be acceptable for a pony to have married. Fish Head was old, but in her time, when she was young, it wasn’t common for ponies to marry anything outside their species. Even now it was uncommon. If he wasn’t a stallion, minotaur, or griffin, what was he? Was that why Fish Head was so maligned in her own town?

“Was he… nice?”

“No.”

Lily’s ears fell flat against her head and her eyes widened. That wasn’t what she really expected. How had that turned out, and why would she honor a promise to somepony that she didn’t even like? Did he beat her? Was he emotionally abusive? Did he… did he rape her? What had even happened? Lily’s mind raced with possible answers to her questions, but none of the answers were forthcoming from Fish Head. Her curiosity burned, however.

They got back home and Fish Head stepped inside with Lily close behind her. She locked the door and disappeared upstairs without a word, leaving Lily to find herself a comfortable spot by the fire. Lily bedded down and tried to sleep, forgetting entirely that she had wanted to bathe. The smell was forgotten as her mind raced to uncover the mystery behind Fish Head’s late husband.

Lily slept fitfully that night. She felt cold, and though she woke up to see the fire still burning and her blankets pulled tight across her body, she still felt it seeping through the covers and into her bones. She shivered, and drifted in and out of consciousness until Fish Head climbed down the stairs to wake her up.

“Wake up, girl. Another day, and more work.”