Why Applejack should not be a writer... (The only chapter)
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Applejack Writes a Fanfiction
Why Applejack should not be a writer... (The only chapter)
It was a cold winter day in Ponyville, sure there was no snowfall scheduled for that day from the weather pegasi, but it was still frigid outside and ponies everywhere still needed to cover up to protect themselves from the season's greetings.
Meanwhile, on the well known Apple farm - Sweet Apple Acres - a small family of apple ponies were forced to stay inside and regret the existence of winter. There was nothing to do it seemed; Apples couldn't grow, Barns couldn't be raised, and it was too cold for them to go outside unless it was absolutely necessary.
Applejack hated winter. Oh how she wished the flowers of spring could bloom, and so would her apples. But alas, January's a cruel month when you're a farmer.
Distracted by her resentment of winter, Applejack came across her little sister, Apple Bloom giggling and fawning over her laptop.
"What's so funny over there, Sugarcube?" asked a curious Applejack.
"Ah'm sorry sis, ah was just reading these fanfictions" admitted Apple Bloom.
"Fanfictions?" Applejack asked with a puzzled expression. "What in tarnation is a Fanfiction?"
"A fanfiction is a story that is based off existing characters" Apple Bloom explained. "It's actually amazing what some of these writers come up with"
"So.... wait, can anypony write a Fanfiction? Involving any creature?" questioned Applejack, obviously interested in the idea of these Fanfictions.
"Exactly" responded Apple Bloom. "Now you're getting it. Though.....some fanfictions are better than others" admitted the youngest Apple sibling.
"What d'ya mean?" questioned Applejack.
"Well...... some Fanfictions actually use creativity and humor to convey a compelling story..... others... look like they were written by a 11-year old on drugs." sheepishly responded Apple Bloom.
With the idea of writing a Fanfiction appealing Applejack's mind, she decided she finally had a goal in mind on this miserable winter day: To write the best Fanfiction ever.
"Ah'm going to study all the Fanfictions ah find and write the best Fanfiction ever" declared Applejack as she trotted upstairs to begin working with her own computer.
However, Apple Bloom's face grew pale white as she shook in nervousness..
"All the Fanfictions she can find on the Internet?! This can't end well".
A WEEK LATER:
What had originally been a day project turned into a week as Applejack read and wrote non-stop, determination and stubbornness driving her towards her goal. When she finished, she could hardly believe it, she had written the best Fanfiction ever (in her eyes) and could not wait to share it.
Cue Applejack inviting all her friends over for the unveiling of her masterpiece.
"Ah'm glad y'all could make it" Applejack announced.
"I was sleeping....." muttered Rainbow Dash.
"Nothing out of the ordinary for you then sugarcube" Applejack responded, much to Rainbow's annoyance.
"Anyways, ah can't wait to share this Fanfiction with all of you" proclaimed Applejack with glee.
"I'm so happy to hear it" assured Twilight, who was known as the bookworm of the group, as well as being the obvious Alicorn Princess. "What's it called?" she asked.
"Well, all the Fanfictions ah read used stupid titles that spoiled the plot or the events that happen, so my story is called, 'The Ponies that Live in Equestria' ! "
Silence filled the room.
" 'The Ponies that Live in Equestria' ?" asked Rarity..... "....What a rigorous title..." she answered with her sincerest fake smile to avoid her friend's feelings.
"So what happens in the story?" asked Pinkie Pie, oblivious to the bad title as she was jumping around the room, eager to read her friend's work.
"Well, it opens up with Shining Armor and Flurry Heart's wedding and......"
"WAIT WHAT?! Shining and Flurry are Father and Daughter!!!!" exclaimed an obviously disturbed Twilight as everpony else just stared with wide eyes.
"Well, some of the most popular Fanfictions ah read had family pairings" assured Applejack.
"Popular to a bunch of wierdos..." muttered Spike, who was equally if not more disturbed as everyone else.
"O...k... so then what?" asked Pinkie Pie, her smile faltering.
"Oh, I have plenty of other ships. Everypony knows the most important thing in a Fanfiction is the ships" Applejack proclaimed in confidence.
"Like who?" Apple Bloom asked, knowing her sister researching the internet for fanfictions was a terrible idea.
"Well, there's Rarity and Rainbow Dash......."...
"EW!!! GROSS!!" Rainbow shrieked in absolute terror.... "...no offense..." she added upon noticing Rarity right next to her.
Rarity just shuttered, "...none taken".
Applejack continued, "There's Spike and Discord..." ....
Fluttershy was the first to speak up before Spike could obviously object, "Uh..... I don't think Discord would agree..." she whispered, wondering whether Discord would magically appear in a fit of rage or not.
Applejack again continued, "Twilight and Winona.."...
Twilight erupted in shock. "WAIT!! WINONA AS IN YOUR DOG!!! I'M NOT MAKING OUT WITH A DOG!!!" Twilight roared.
Somewhere, Winona was throwing up her lunch in disgust..
Applejack once again continued, "....and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle." Applejack finished.
"Wait, hold o----" Rainbow paused. "....actually, you may have gotten that one right" she admitted.
"WAIT WHAT?!?!?" screamed Scootaloo and Sweetie in unison, obviously interested in that crazy response.
"Read frenettek314's other stories," Rarity responded, calm along with Rainbow, "...you'll understand why".
After that hilarious fourth wall break, everypony just stood and stared at Applejack, scared of what levels of cringe could happen next.
"So..... then...... what?" Apple Bloom gulped.
"Oh, all the Fanfiction cliches- Diaper obsessions , shocking daughter reveals that were revealed in the prologue, long hiatuses, 'Make Out' Scenes, original characters with no flaws, horribly-contrived events, and of course, NO ENDING!!" Applejack listed off.
Everypony just cringed. No words, no more shock. Just cringe.
"Applejack, when y'all said you were going to research Fanfictions..." Apple Bloom finally spoke, taking the bullet for everyone else.
"Yeah?" Applejack questioned.
"Maybe, you should've researched..... good....Fanfictions" Apple Bloom whispered.
"Yeah, no offense, but no (sane) pony would like this story" Spike admitted.
"Y'all are picking on me!" Applejack screamed with tears in her eyes. "If you don't like the story, don't comment and don't read! Ah'm going to report y'all" Applejack cried as she ran upstairs closing the door on everypony, who sat there in stunned silence.
"I mean, she does have a right to create stories" Big Mac admitted, breaking his traditional silences.
"But children could find this stuff online, and just think of how that could change them" responded Fluttershy.
"Just block Fanfiction sites then" spoke Granny Smith
"But, when good Fanfictions are written, it has the chance to entertain and inspire young and old minds alike to do the same" admitted Twilight.
"Well..... now what? " asked Rainbow Dash.
"Goodnight Everybody!" waved Pinkie Pie as she stared off into space, alarming everypony else who just stood there in confusion.
Author's Note
Well, this was basically a one-off making fun of Fanfictions, but it also asks an important question : How should Fanfictions be handled? Hope you got a good laugh and maybe had the chance to think about this topic a little bit.
Until Next Time,
frenettek314