A Perfectly Normal Response

by drunkenpandaren

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Trixie, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Slice of Life, Wallflower Blush, Human
Length: 1610

Magic experiments yields a predictable side effect. Sunset is having none of it.

Sometimes, Sunset has to put her foot down. This is one of those times.

When she, Wallflower Blush and Twilight Sparkle work on a magic spell on transmogrification from Princess Twilight, the results are varied.

Fortunately, Sunset is having none of it. Even if her friends are all typical teenage girls.

Contains non-sexual hermaphrodite and frank discussions of sex.

Published 2018-05-22 03:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-22 03:30:07 UTC

The Only Chapter

“It’s like this, right?”

Twilight looked at the spellwork, puzzling over it. While she was new to magic, she was a scientist at heart and she looked at Sunset who stood in the middle of the magic circle. “We don’t know why it backfired like that,” said Twilight, folding her arms. “How do you feel Sunset?”

“Pretty normal, let’s be fair.” Said Sunset, patting herself down and shifting a little awkwardly. “I’m glad I wore a skirt today, or this could be uncomfortable.”

”Nothing of note? No surging hormones? No need to bend me over the table?” inquired Twilight, making a few notes in the checklist.

“Twilight, she’s a normal girl, albeit with extra bits,” said Wallflower, the third in their little magical experiment. The mousy green haired girl was giggling and blushing at the same time. “Seriously Sunset, nothing?”

“Nothing,” insisted Sunset. “I mean, what did you expect?”

The pair looked at one another. “Sex,” chorused the pair.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Look, just because I have a penis now doesn’t mean that I’m going to become a sex crazed woman who will drive you two into endless lust.” She narrowed her eyes. “You two were waiting for me to say that right?”

”Noooooo,” said Wallflower. “Look, we had no idea that the remains of the memory stone could imbue fantasies onto people.”

”It shouldn’t work at all!” Exclaimed Twilight. “This is unheard of, even with the book of spells that I got. This shouldn’t be POSSIBLE.”

”That someone had a fantasy of me being a large-penised girl was probably terrifying enough and I should have realized this would happen.” Sunset sighed. “Look, let’s just… call the experiment a success.”

The pair nodded and Sunset stepped out of the magic circle. They waited one second, two and she said, “Nope, nothing. But I… gotta pee.”

“Bathroom’s that way,” said Wallflower, the girls having set this up in her house. “Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

”You just wanted to see it out,” groused Sunset. “Wallflower please.”

“Can’t stop a girl from trying,” said Wallflower with a nervous blush.

“All right, let her pee in peace,” said Twilight as Sunset gratefully left the room.

“Well, I guess we should chalk one up for magical experiments we shouldn’t try out,” said Wallflower as she stooped over to start cleaning up the magic chalk circle.

“It’ll wear off as soon as she releases the magic,” said Twilight, pouring over the notes left to her from Princess Twilight. “She’s done magical transmogrification though, but never on a specific scale.”

”I’m sure she’s too pure to try,” said Wallflower. “We’re human girls in teenage years. Of course we’re thinking about sex.”

There was a noise from the door as Sunset walked back in, wiping her hands. “You would not believe how cool that was,” said Sunset. “It’s like a handle! It was so easy to go.”

“Really?” said Twilight, excited. “Can you tell me how it works?”

”It’s just the same as any anatomically correct hermaphrodite would be,” said Sunset. “Let’s get started with the scans.”

“Good to know you’re okay with the new bits, Sunset,” said Wallflower, cleaning up the rest of the magic circle as Twilight put a colander on Sunset’s head.

“I thought it would be weird. Turns out, it’s actually kinda cool.” Said Sunset. “I can deal with this until it vanishes.”

”So you’re not going to sex up the school in the process?” said Twilight, eyebrows waggling.

”Please. What do I look like? Some kind of thirsty she-demon?” snorted Sunset. “I’ve got complete control of my dong thank you very much.”

“Okay, enough dick talk for now,” said Wallflower with a laugh. “Let’s get those biological readings done.”

=====

“You have a PENIS?” exclaimed Rainbow Dash the next day when the girls all gathered in the music room with a short laugh. “That is amazing! What’s it feel like?”

”Honestly, can’t feel a thing Rainbow Dash,” replied Sunset dryly.

Rainbow’s expression dropped. “Nothing? Nothing at all? C’mon, you gotta be feeling something.”

“No, not really.” Said Sunset as the assembled girls were halfway between amusement and slight deer in the headlights in their expressions. “Like I said earlier Rainbow Dash, the thing is there is no problem. I’m wearing boxers but that’s about it. There’s really nothing special or important about it.”

”Well dear, you have to remember that this isn’t the same kind of magical shenanigans we’re used to.” Said Rarity. “And thank you for being coy about it, I would hate to hear what would happen if this got out.”

The door to the room slammed open as Trixie burst into the room. “I heard Sunset Shimmer has a penis!” exclaimed Trixie, looking winded as she had run across the school to find the girl.

“Shut the door behind you Trixie,” said Sunset as Trixie did so. “Yes, I have a penis. No it hasn’t turned me into a sex crazed she-demon.”

“This I have got to see, whip it out and let’s see what it looks like!” Exclaimed Trixie eagerly.

“Here? This is the school!” Protested Fluttershy who had been hiding behind her fingers on her face.

“This is a private room, and there’s plenty of time before the next bell,” said Trixie, folding her arms.

Sunset groaned. With little fanfare, she unzipped her jeans and pulled down her underwear. “There. You happy now?”

Trixie stared for a long moment before saying, “That’s it? There’s no more hiding in there?”

“Trixie, it’s a dick, not a expanding flesh cannon,” said Sunset dryly. Wallflower couldn’t take it and excused herself from the group to laugh until her stomach hurt.

“It’s so… boring!” Exclaimed Trixie. “I expected fanfare and a magical aura of lust or something!”

”Sorry to disappoint you,” said Sunset dryly. “Next time I get one, it’ll be singing God Save the Queen.”

“You disappoint me, Sunset,” said Trixie with a sigh as Sunset pulled her jeans and boxers back up. “Boxers though?”

”It’s not going to fit into panties,” said Sunset.

“Now that we’re all done ogling Sunset Shimmer,” said Applejack, “Class is about to begin. Let’s get going.”

The girls nodded and they piled out, Pinkie Pie pausing to say to Sunset, “If you need help I know how to handle things!”

Sunset groaned. “For the last time, I’m not a lust-crazed she-demon!”

=====

Bon Bon and Lyra looked at Sunset as she stepped into the shower area of the school wearing boxers. “Do we want to know?” asked Lyra. “Is this about the rumors going around about a magical accident?”

“Experiment. And something like that, and no, it wasn’t an accident, it was intentional. Just with unforeseen side effects.” Sunset sighed. “We’re all girls here right?”

A round of nods from Cloudchaser, Flitter, Lyra and Bon nodded. “Let’s see this thing,” said Flitter nervously.

Sunset sighed and dropped her boxers and stepped into the water. “There, happy?”

“I need a picture of this,” said Cloudchaser with a laugh. “You look like a cheesecake model with extra bits.”

“Now girls, let’s give Sunset her privacy,” said Bon Bon. “I mean, she’s just got a dick, it doesn’t mean anything.”

”Thank you, someone in the room who is being sensible about it.” Said Sunset as she started to scrub down with the provided soap.

“So, quick question,” said Lyra curiously. “Does it feel like anything hanging there?”

“Honestly, no. I mean, I’m pretty sure guys don’t feel anything either, unless they get struck there, but so do girls.” A round of nods followed as Sunset grinned a little. “To be honest, if it wasn’t for the fact that I was completely in control of my hormones, I would probably be a little more uncomfortable.”

“I can only imagine,” said Cloudchaser. “So, question again. Have you uh… touched it?”

”Once, and I needed to go,” said Sunset.

“It’s like a handle,” said Flitter and Sunset laughed.

“That’s what I said!”

“This is kind of like that recent movie that came out,” said Bon Bon. “Except that the girl was a in a guy’s body.”

“Oh yeah,” said Lyra. “I saw that, and Sunset you’re handling it just like she did!”

“Well I’m glad my response is typical,” said Sunset, grinning. She rinsed off and picked up a towel. “Okay, I’m headed out. Thanks for the chat ladies.”

As Sunset left, Flitter sighed. “God she’s so hot. If I had a dick, I wouldn’t be able to control myself around Sunset.”

The girls all nodded, as they returned to their after-gym showers.

=====

Sunset was headed out of the school when a puzzled expression appeared on her face. Wait…

Unzipping her pants and peeking in, she sighed. “Well, goodbye little guy.”

Zipping up, she went over to her bike and started it up as Wallflower walked up. “Hey Sunset, can I get a ride home?”

”Sure Wallflower,” said Sunset as the girl got onto her bike. “Oh it’s gone now. It faded away a minute ago.”

”Ah, well, at least we know now how to make it again, Twilight figured out the cantrip for it.” Said Wallflower.

“Are you serious? Well, I guess if I ever got intimate with someone, it would be interesting.” Said Sunset.

“So, seriously, real talk. Were you actually 100% calm about it?” asked Wallflower as they pulled out of the driving lot. “You seemed far too relaxed.”

Sunset chuckled. “Let’s just say I’ve done things back in Equestria that would make the princess of love blush.”

=====

Fins.

Author's Note

Posted 5/21/2018
Series: Equestria Girls
All Jokes lifted from Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle