It's been a few days since I found out about my whole anti-magic element and I still had no idea what to say or do. I was honestly lost here, after running a few more non-invasive tests we concluded that it was safe. For me walk, talk, socialize, but to do my best and avoid stressful situations. In Ponyville that's like asking a ticking time bomb to stop ticking, it's gonna explode no matter what happens. I'd have better luck stopping a train with my bare hands.

I was working at Sweet Apple Acres, usually my jobs there include. Taking care of the CMC, collect the apple baskets, store the apples, and replace the baskets with empty ones, repair anything that breaks (or that the CMC break), and chop wood. Right now I was doing the last thing on that list. I had already replaced all the baskets in the east orchard and they needed me to chop some wood. That way they could start the fire to make some apple jam as it was getting later on in the summer. With my help they had a head start in everything now and they paid me whenever possible.

If I'm being honest though I don't take much when it comes to being paid, working around here gets me off my ass and doing something until the end of the day, it's like George Carlin once said, 'Life is not that difficult, you get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good shit, and then you go back to bed.' I smiled to myself and placed another log on the stump and easily sliced through the log with my axe using just my brute strength. Granny Smith came out of the farm house and took a look at me. "Hey youngin' why don't ya take a break?"

I looked at the elder mare and wiped my sweat from my brow, "Sure thing Granny, the axe needs some sharpening anyways." I walked over to a tool box laying out on the porch and grabbed a metal nail file, starting to file at the edges.

"So, I heard from Applejack that you're now in her herd." Granny said, looking down at me while leaning over the handrail of the porch.

"Yeah." I paused what I was doing, "Look I'm not gonna take advantage of her if that's what you're thinking." I continued to file away at the axe.

"The thought never even crossed my mind youngin', I think it's good for the both of ya. When I first met ya, ya always kept to yaself, but now ya more outgoin'." Granny said. "Applejack on the other hand..."

"Is stubborn? More stubborn than me?" I put out there.

"I was gonna say more stubborn than a mule but more stubborn than you works." Granny smiled, "C'mon youngin' you gotta stop working and take a real break. 'Sides that axe looks sharp enough."

"Alright." I looked at the axe head and Granny was right the axe was sharper now, I walked over and lodged it deep into the stump where I was chopping wood.

"Now come on in and get some lunch." Granny said as she started to ring the bell, letting the others in the fields know that it was time to eat. Soon enough Applejack, Mac, and Apple Bloom came in while I was already eating.

"Mickey!" Applejack half yelled, "You're supposed to wait for everypony to get in before ya eat."

"'F ya put foo' in fronna me, 'm gonna eat it." I said with a mouthful of apple.

"Don't talk with ya mouth full youngin'." Granny lightly scolded, "Applejack is right though, ya do have to wait." Granny looked at my plate and then at the other plates she set out. "Well for land sakes, are ya sure ya got enough ta eat?"

"Huh?" I swallowed the food in my mouth, "Oh, yeah I'm sure."

Granny put some more food on my plate, "We'll ya a grownin' boy so you need to eat up."

"Uh, Granny. Mickey is a grown adult, remember?" Applejack pointed out, "He just has a shorter lifespan than us ponies due to him not having magic and whatnot."

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The ponies here live much longer than humans because they have access to magic, which I find bullshit but that's their explanation. They basically age at one hundredth the rate of a normal human. Normally a pony is considered grown up at 750. But since I'm not a pony, I won't be around as long as they are so due to me being so young in their eyes. I have documentation that specifically states that I'm a legal adult, sometimes people slip up and forget, Granny Smith being one of them but I don't blame her and she's very sweet to me, so I let it slide. This magic access also explains why they're so fucking tall, need them to be in the best shape they can possibly be for this world. I just continued to eat the food that was served to me because it was good.

"Ah shoot, I forgot. I'm sorry." Granny apologized.

I finished my plate and looked up at Granny, "It's fine, I know you didn't mean anything by it, so I don't care. The food is good so I really didn't mind."

"Well that's good, would you like some more?" Granny offered.

"No thank you, I'll just wash my plate and get back to chopping wood." I said as I rinsed off and washed the plate and utensils I had and then went back to work.

"Applejack, I don't care how long he's got on this planet you better marry that stallion." Granny said after I had left.

"GRANNY!" Applejack was flush with embarrassment.

"I agree," Mac spoke up. "He's got a good heart, and he's a great guy. He's just a little...off is all."

"I know what you're sayin'." Applejack nodded. "He's rarely talked about what he's done before he came to Equestria, but when he does I can see that he loses all sense of his soul in his eyes. He's not entirely broken, but he's not right either."

"So, does this mean Mickey is gonna be my new brother?" Apple Bloom asked.

"We'll see Apple Bloom, I don't want to rush him, I know you and your friends think the world of him but these things take time." Applejack patted her sister's head.

"Well ya better not take too much time, I do want ta see great grand foals before I croak." Granny said.

I just inwardly chuckled to myself as I stood right outside the closed door, leaning against the wall as I overheard them. I just jumped over the handrail and landed on the ground, going back to the menial task of chopping wood. I set up the log, sliced through it, and put the pieces on the stack. I repeated this process until all the wood had been chopped and stacked, by the time I was finished a few hours had passed and the sun was still high up in the sky. Applejack was bringing in her wagon full of apples and I walked over to help her.

She looked up as I helped her pull the wagon, "Thanks Mick, I appreciate it."

"No problem." I said as we both pulled the wagon into the barn and started to unload the apples into the barrels.

"Hey Mickey, I was going to go meet up with Twilight and the girls at the castle, you mind coming along?" Applejack asked.

"Sure why not?" I said as I finished unloading the apples. I hopped down from the cart and started to walk with Applejack.

"HEY, BIG MAC! I'M DONE WITH MY CHORES! MICKEY AND I ARE GOING TO TWI'S!" Applejack yelled into the field.

"OKAY!" Mac replied.

Applejack and I departed from the farm and Applejack was looking at me and then looking back at the path in front of her. "So, I heard that you kissed Twilight..."

"Yes? Is that a problem?" I asked one of my girlfriends.

"No, it's no problem. That's just kinda forward for you is all." Applejack said.

"AJ, I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to trust you. I'm being more open with my feelings, more physical as well. If you want me to kiss you, just ask don't beat around the bush, because you know I hate the unnecessary bullshit." I said.

"D'aww fine." Applejack leaned down and gave me a kiss, it was sudden, unexpected, and fuck I liked it.

She soon broke the kiss with me and I just smiled. "It's about fucking time." I murmured. We soon got to Twilight's castle and sat in the room with the table and thrones surrounding it. Well the girls and Spike sat in the thrones, I just leaned against the wall, soon the cutie marks on each throne lit up and the table soon started to glow, then all of a sudden, there was a giant map of Equestria on the table. I looked at the table or...map? "Well, fuck me with a cactus."

Spike woke up from his nap in his throne and looked at the glowing table...map...table, I'm calling it a table. He woke up and looked at the table, "Well...that's new."

"You don't say?" I looked at him with a lethal amount of sarcasm in my voice.

Spike decided to get up and walk on the table, "This has got all of Equestria on it!"

Pinkie looked at her old house and said. "Hi, mom and dad!" Until Spike stepped on it and she looked sad.

"Spike get off of the fucking table, tables are for glasses not for asses." I said and he hopped back into his seat.

"But if this is Ponyville." Fluttershy pointed out, "Why are our cutie marks over there?"

The girls and I looked over to the spot where the girl's cutie marks were floating and it looked like a small town...wait a minute, I recognize that! That's the town I had my spy network do surveillance on, they seem harmless but they're behind a lot of people's disappearances so I had my guys keep a close eye on things maybe there is something going on that I don't know about. My train of thought was halted when Twilight said, "I don't know, but it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we not follow it?"

"By having some common fucking sense." I said interrupting all of them.

The girls stopped and looked at me, "What's your hang up Mickey?" Rainbow asked.

"Look girls, I know the call to adventure is alluring and all that but you have no idea where the fuck this is, it could be a nest of Changelings for all you know. I say we proceed with caution and whether you like it or not, I'm coming with you."

"I think I'll stay behind with Spike..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Awesome! Me and Big Mac have a huge weekend ahead of us talkin' hoofball, and... and trading hoofball cards, and arguing about hoofball stats..." Spike said.

"On second thought, I'm coming with you." Fluttershy said.

"Looks like it's time for a road trip." Twilight said.

"Alright, I'm gonna go pack my shit. If you leave without me, you will never see my face again." I left to pack my things and quickly change, I didn't have time for a shower so I just practically bathed myself in deodorant. I walked to the train station and quickly boarded the train with the girls as it puffed towards our new destination. The train soon came to a stop at the requested destination and we got off.

"That's it, that's the place on the map!" Twilight said.

"Looks bland." I grunted as I walked with them, I was ignoring most of the comments but people kept staring and saying welcome. I'm getting a really creepy cult vibe from this place, like Jonestown without all the fucking kool-aid.

Then out came the so called leader, Starlight Glimmer. Chalk another one up for synonyms for Twilight Sparkle. "Welcome I'm so pleased to have you-" She paused and spotted me. She was around 7'2. "Um, what is that?" She pointed at me.

"More like a who is that, bitch." I replied and she reeled back, "Yeah keep your judgements to yourself Ms. Marx."

"Excuse me?" Starlight asked.

I looked at the Main 6, "I'm gonna take a look around town, I'll let you know if I see something." I walked forward but Starlight stepped in front of me.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked me.

"Like I told my friends, I'm gonna take a look around town. If you want to keep your legs UNbroken, you'll let me pass." I looked up at her, then I walked right past her. The ponies were looking at me but I was already used to the staring. I looked around for a bit, the ponies here were almost entirely naked with only burlap covering themselves up. "Well that can't be very comfortable." I said to myself, then my stomach started to growl so I went over to their "restaurant" The only thing they had was muffins and water..."Not only do they sap the personality out of you but the food as well." I knocked on the door but no one answered.

In fact, where did everyone go? I looked around and saw nobody, except a few people walking towards that mountain with a cave in it...and all my instincts told me to book it towards that cave. I dropped my bag, zipped up my jacket, and hauled all sorts of ass up that mountain. Thank god for stamina training because, if it weren't for that I wouldn't have made it in time to see that the girls were being zapped by a spell...my girls were being hurt, I failed and I snapped. Needless to say, there was nothing holding me back at that point, with a near guttural roar that took Starlight's attention off the girls and onto me. I rushed her tackling her to the ground, my anti magic aura cancelling her spell I grabbed the staff from after she had dropped it, Starlight saw the murderous intent in my eyes and was terrified.

I pressed the staff prongs against her throat and backed her up until she backed up against the vault of cutie marks. Using the staff I held up her wrist and and drove it so hard into the glass that it cracked and shattered and the two prongs were embedded into the rock, trapping her there. I breathed in and out, the thing about being a marine, is control and focus. I needed my focus right now, I went over to Applejack and grabbed her lasso. The ponies were all cheering about getting their cutie marks back but I didn't care about that, I just wanted to protect my girls. One by one I lifted them up and leaned them sitting up against the cave wall, I took gentle care of my Flutters and kissed her on the forehead.

"J-Just what are you?" Starlight asked.

I turned and looked at Starlight with my rage filled eyes. "I'm the monster that you had nightmares about as a child, I'm the only thing that can IGNORE magic and cancel it out." I took out a KA-Bar I had on me and embedded it into the rock next to her head. "You hurt my girls, and in the past I would've taken that stick and shoved it so far up your ass that you would've become a puppet, but I have to be better. Not just for me but for them." I take the lasso and pull out the staff, I tie Starlight up before she could go anywhere. "For crimes that include, kidnapping, brainwashing, and hundreds of accounts of assault including assault on a princess of equestria. I'm placing you Starlight Glimmer under arrest." I finished tying her up.

The other ponies looked at me, one of them spoke up. "Now what do we do?"

"Live your lives, do what you want." I said while sitting on top of Starlight, "Just do me a favor and get my bag from in town, I dropped it near the restaurant."

"I'll go get it." That was said by a purple mare with pigtails.

I continued to sit on Starlight as she rambled on villainous one liners. "I wish I had enough rope to make a gag for you."

"Yeah, I bet then you could get your rocks off." Starlight replied.

"What I'm wondering is what drove you to do all of this? You know to remove people's cutie marks?" I asked, and then Starlight proceeded to tell me what made her do all of this. I just sighed and facepalmed. "Did it ever occur to you to try and reach out to this guy? Starburst or whatever his name is?"

"Sunburst, and no..." Starlight looked down well as far as she could look down with her face in the literal dirt.

"You wanna know what I hate about you ponies? The moment something even relatively sad even happens to you, you let it take over your entire personality, and trust me." I pointed at the elements of harmony. "They're no exception, the instant someone tells Pinkie something they don't like about her or don't like her doing something, is when she gets so depressed that you can't help but give her, her way. Fluttershy could be more confident, but she goes overboard with it the moment she starts to like it. Rarity gets so focused in her work she practically ignores everything else. Applejack can be so stubborn trying to get her to see another way is like trying to tell a mirror not to reflect your image. Rainbow Dash is incredibly arrogant, she puts her interests before others and can be very inconsiderate. Twilight, gets so caught up in checklists and assignments that she had to be assigned to go make friends."

"Your point being?" Starlight asked.

"My point is, that once you ponies get something bad to happen to you, you make it everything about you. Well guess what? Bad shit is going to happen no matter what, you ponies don't know the meaning of moderation, it's either one extreme or another. You're either incredibly nice, or just a straight up asshole, well let me tell you something sweetheart, good guys can do bad things, and bad guys can have good reasons."

Starlight didn't say a word but I looked at the dirt in front of her. Then she finally decided to speak up, "Is there any way I could make up for this?"

I looked at her, then thought about it for a moment, and smiled. "Yep, there is."

"What is it?" She asked.

"Indentured servitude, to me." I said, "Ponies always learn about friendship and stuff like that, and that's all well and good, but what ponies lack is common fucking sense."

"So you're going to teach me common sense?" Starlight asked.

"You bet your sweet ass I will." I untie Starlight and help her up. "I'm not letting you out of my sight either, and if you try to escape you'll get thrown in a dungeon. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Starlight nodded.

"Alright then, first you've got a lot of people to apologize to and then you have to carry my bags."

"Really?" Starlight asked.

"I said that you were in indentured servitude, and you agreed to it so as far as we're both concerned it's legally binding."

Author's Note

A little bit of revisionist history, this is where the cutie map starts however I didn't want to change the fact that the table was already there so, abusing the alternate universe tag a bit I didn't get rid of it, I just made it activate when the girls sat down altogether. I changed it in previous chapters. Originally I also had a bit where Mickey took the staff of sameness and shoved it up Starlight's ass, but after mulling it over I think that would've been TOO hardcore. That may have lost a lot viewers and a lot of people's respect for me.