Canterlot Invasion but it's Steamed Hams

by AntiBronyBenSwolo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 1353

Chrysalis with her crazy explainations, Twilight Sparkle's gonna need her medication, when she hears Chrysalis' lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight.

Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, has begun her invasion on Canterlot, and is expecting someone to show up to it. Unfortunatley, neither Chrysalis or the visitor know how to properly act during an invasion and think they're in something else entirely.

Please help me, I'm so bored.

Published 2018-05-24 01:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-24 01:20:06 UTC

A witty chapter name

Screams poured out from the windows of the Canterlot palace as what was supposed to be a wedding has turned into a huge battleground between the ponies of Equestria and Queen Chrysalis' Changelings. Chrysalis cackled her head off as she had her minions take Princess Celestia into the kitchen to have her cocooned upside-down. Suddenly, the queen heard the doorbell of the castle ring. None of her soldiers were expecting visitors, what with the fighting and whatnot, but Chrysalis, in fact was expecting someone. She walked up to the large doors and answered it. It was Twilight Sparkle

"Well Queen Chrysalis, I made it, Despite your directions." Twilight said, displeased with Chrysalis, and disregarding the surrounding violence.

"Ah, Twilight Sparkle, Welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon." Chrysalis replied. The changelings who were not fighting a pony were just watching the two of them act nonchalantly in confusion. The two of them entered the dining room, where Twilight put a bottle of Applejack's finest apple cider in a bucket filled with ice, as Queen Chrysalis proceeded to the kitchen.

As soon as she entered the room, she saw an upside-down cocooned Celestia spectating the changelings running around in panic as the stove had an extra thicc smoke come out of it, causing the fire alarm to almost go off. Chrysalis gasped as she ran over to the stove, revealing a giant roast burning in a pan of flames.

"Oh Egads, my roast is ruined!" Chrysalis exclaimed as she looked out the window to see a nearby fast food restaurant. As she pondered on what her plan was, some changelings were shocked there even was a nearby fast food restaurant.

"But what if..." Chrysalis plotted, with her hoof under her chin "...if I were to purchase fast food, and disguise it as my own cooking. Ho ho ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, Chrysalis". As soon as the queen opened a window to crawl out and snatch some food in time, her changelings fanned out the smoke to prevent the alarm from going off, but all 3 of them stopped when Twilight entered the kitchen skeptical of what she's currently seeing.

"Twilight, get me out of here!" Celestia, still in her cocoon, pleaded, but to no avail as Twilight didn't notice her.

"CHRYSALIS!!!!" Twilight yelled, startling the nearby changelings. Chrysalis turned around, unfazed by the shouting, and quickly responded.

"Twilight, I was just..." Chrysalis stuttered, as she tried to think of something. "...Stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?"

"Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Chrysalis?" Twilight asked, pointing out the smoke from the oven. Celestia is shocked that Twilight noticed the smoke rather than her cocooned mentor.

"Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm. Steamed Clams." Chrysalis responded as she gave off a sheepish smile. Twilight, still skeptical of the changeling queen, turned around and went back to the dining room. Chrysalis breathed a sigh of relief as she started buzzing her wings out the window and to the fast food restaurant. The changelings, figuring there's just nothing to do, just decide to concede even trying and have a chat with the cocooned princess of the sun.

Back in the dining room, Twilight tied a napkin around her neck as Chrysalis walked in with a silver platter full of delicious hayburgers and french fries.

"Twilight, I hope your hungry for mouthwatering hayburgers." Chrysalis said, causing Twilight to raise an eyebrow.

"I thought we were having steamed clams" Twilight objected, contradicting the changeling queen.

"Oh no. I said steamed hays! That's what I call hayburgers" Chrysalis said, settling down the platter of food.

Every pony and changeling, tired of fighting each other, noticed the seemingly peaceful time Twilight and Chrysalis were having, and were just dumbfounded by what was happening.

"You call hayburgers 'steamed hays'?" Twilight asked, still skeptical of Chrysalis' words and actions, despite the fact Chrysalis is right in front of her, and could cocoon her at any moment.

"Yes, it's a regional dialect." Chrysalis continued to lie, as one of the changelings redirected the spectators attention away from the happenings of the meeting.

"Uh huh. What region?" Twilight asked, prompting the Queen to lie some more.

"Uh, the Changeling kingdom?" Chrysalis answered as Twilight's eyebrow was raised once more.

"Really. Well I'm from Canterlot, and I never heard anyone use the phrase 'Steamed Hays'". Twilight pointed out, regardless of the fact that both locations are very far from each other.

"Oh, not in Canterlot, no. It's an out-of-Equestria expression." Chrysalis explained once more.

"I see." Twilight said, as the two settled down and ate their hayburgers, until Twilight noticed something odd about the burgers.

"Y'know, these hayburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Discord-Burger." Twilight pointed out, just now realizing that Chrysalis might be lying about the burgers.

"Oh no" Chrysalis denied and laughed as she held a cup of the apple cider "Patented Chrysalis-burgers. Old family recipe." the changeling queen explained once more, confusing more and more spectators.

"For steamed hays?" Twilight continued to ask, as Chrysalis realized she might be onto something.

"Yes." Chrysalis answered, as Twilight had a few more things to point out, but it might be fewer than expected.

"Yes, and you call them 'Steamed Hays' despite the fact they're obviously grilled." Twilight said, showing the singe marks on the hay, covered in ketchup and mustard. Chrysalis might have been beaten. And considering she heard an uncomfortable sizzling in the kitchen, as well as the panicking of Chrysalis' few minions and Princess Celestia in the kitchen. Chrysalis started to stutter as she realized Twilight might be smarter than she originally though, and cannot think of a lie.

"Excuse me for one second." Chrysalis replied, with her face turning red, as she entered the kitchen for a brief second, and exited with a mighty yawn.

"Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped." Chrysalis said, concerned about getting Twilight out of the castle as quick as possible. Twilight got up to say her goodbyes, but was stopped by black smoke coming out of the kitchen.

"Sweet Luna, what is happening in there!?!?" Twilight shouted, pointing out the smoke to Chrysalis. Without a shadow of a doubt, the changeling queen said one final lie Twilight might never believe.

"Aurora Borealis?" Chrysalis explained, while at the same time, asking herself. Twilight stopped and was shocked and confused at what Chrysalis just told her.

"Aurora Borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?" Twilight interregated, while a confident Chrysalis decided to just go with it.

"Yes" Chrysalis responded, without a shed of regret in her voice.

"May I see it?" Twilight asked. Chrysalis couldn't believe she actually believed that. But if she showed her, the cover would be blown.

"No." Chrysalis responded, in an attempt to get her out of the house faster!

Just then, Celestia broke out of her cocoon, which melted by the flames of the oven, and proceeded to run upwards to the balcony to get everyone's attention, but waited for the correct help. Celestia might be going crazy, but she thought about asking Chrysalis from all the way down there for help.

Twilight and Chrysalis opened the door to the palace so Twilight may leave, when suddenly, Celestia made her call

"Chrysalis, the castle is on fire!" Celestia informed her enemy, who looked unimpressed.

"No Celestia, it's just the Northern Lights." Chrysalis responded, knowing Twilight somehow trusts her. Celestia let herself facehoof, as Twilight appeared to be an idiot now.

"Well Chrysalis, you are an odd mare, you steam some good hay." Twilight said with a smile to who should be her enemy, as she walked out to the crowd, with some ponies still fighting some changelings. Twilight turned around with a suspicious Chrysalis giving her a hooves up, as she continued onwards to the crowd and Celestia continued to call out for help.