Arranged Disaster

by Peroth E

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Prince Blueblood, Sex, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 29680

Twilight is forced to shack up with Blueblood. Derp.

Written in collaboration with a very close friend. Twilight Sparkle discovers at the last minute that her parents have arranged for her to marry Prince Blueblood! That's not all, there seems to be more to the marriage than first meets the eye, and the consequences leave a whole heap of responsibility on Twilight and her friends' laps that they may not be able to handle!

Whacky, adventurey, explorey yada yada shenanigans.

Published 2012-07-28 12:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-20 22:38:35 UTC

Arranged Disaster

A friend and I were kicking this idea around earlier in the week, and it seemed too good to let slip by.

"More tea, Rarity?"

"Why, yes! Thank you Pinkie Pie." Rarity smiled as the pink mare tipped the kettle and filled her cup nearly to the rim with Jasmine tea. Rarity lifted with cup with a small tug of her magic and held it to her lips, sipping at it.

"Growin' things like corn 'n broccoli ain't too big a deal but that ain't my specialty." Applejack explained with a look behind her to her vast orchard of apple trees. "The Apple family grows the best apples in Equestria, corn needs to be bought from the Corn family."

"What about a small, self-sustaining garden of corn? It'd be much cheaper for your family." Twilight pointed out.

"And we wouldn't have to spend five bits on a couple of ears of corn..." Rainbow Dash snorted by Twilight's side, staring down at the deliciously yellow treat in front of her, looking like she was contemplating not eating it.

"Hey, everypony's gotta stay in business somehow. 'sides, Fluttershy, don't you get a discount on corn?" Applejack looked to the winged mare by her side, and Fluttershy smiled sheepishly.

"Well, um, no." She rubbed a hoof against her neck. "I mean, yes! But only on old corn, or corn they normally can't sell. The animals don't mind it, and it's cheaper."

The day was gorgeous. Celestia's sun hung high in the air, not a cloud in the sky to block it. It was so wonderfully blue, and the grass and the trees seemed so much brighter too. A gentle breeze and the shade of the big tree they laid in kept them nice and cool. The red and white checkered blanket, the basket full of treats, the kettles and bottles of drinks... it was the absolute perfect day for a picnic. Rarity had brought tea, water, juice, and soda, Applejack had brought dozens of her finest crop, Twilight had prepared several salads, Fluttershy had brought birds to sing in the tree nearby, Pinkie had brought plenty of cookies and cakes, while Dash zipped to the sky every now and then to knock out an errant cloud or kick up a stronger breeze.

Fluttershy munched on some potato salad, sipped at a cup of fruit punch, and smiled at a joke Dash had told, but paused and cocked her ear. There was a clamor coming from the town. "Huh?" She glanced down the hill towards Ponyville.

"What foal's screamin' his head off on a day like this?" Applejack stood up in annoyance and squinted to while looking out for the trouble-maker. Dash took to the air as the rest of the mares rose to their hooves and cautiously looked around for any sign of danger.

"..." Dash flew a little further out, then came back wearing a flat look. "It's Spike."

"Spike?" Twilight repeated.

"What's wrong with Spike?" Rarity asked with a worried frown, and the two unicorns started trotting towards the town.

"Dunno." Dash floated overhead, eyes firmly on the purple speck as it came closer and closer. "He's waving his claws around like an idiot and keeps shouting."

"C'mon girls!" Pinkie called, hopping past Twilight and Rarity. "Let's go see what the problem is!" Exchanging a few glances, the remaining mares followed their friends until they could all clearly see Spike running towards them.

Twilight couldn't help but grimace at the thought of whatever could be freaking Spike out, since he was typically so laid back. The closer they got, the faster she ran, until she was well ahead of her companions. She could hear him shouting now, loud and clear, and the rest of the girls put in good effort to catch up with her as she ran ahead.

"Spike!" Twilight shouted, coming to a skidding halt as Spike slowed down, stopping in front of her. He promptly bent over to grab his knees as he panted. "Spike, what's the matter?" Twilight demanded, more out of worry than anything else.

"L-" Spike gasped, and the rest of the mares arrived to watch him as he took in several deep gulps of air and stood up straight. "L-letter!" He held out his right hand. "Letter from Canterlot!" Fluttershy caught him right as he fell backwards, and lifted him onto her back to rest. Twilight, however, was focused on the letter he was clutching.

"It's not from Celestia?" She asked. She checked the seal: not Celestia's hoofprint. The seal was a unicorn's horn with a banner wrapped around it. She didn't recognize it at first, Rarity, however...

"It's from the Canterlot Society of Nobles' Affairs." She sounded surprised. Twilight stared at the seal for a very long time, wondering what they could possibly want from her.
Spike finally caught his breath and unrolled the scroll. He calmed himself down and cleared his throat, and meekly looked up to Twilight before reading.

"From the Director of Nobles' Affairs and the Desk of the Blueblood Legacy-"

"Blueblood!?" Rarity repeated with a sudden twitch in her eye, a flashback of that disastrous evening running through her mind.

"Well the Bluebloods are actually a pretty big family." Twilight mentioned, sincerely hoping it wasn't from the colt Rarity was remembering. "Anyways, keep reading Spike."

Spike nodded, and turned his head back to the scroll. "Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle-"

"What!? I'm calling horse apples on that!" Dash butted in, nearly knocking Spike over as she violated his personal space to read the letter herself. "Princess Twilight Sparkle? Since when were you a princess, princess?" Dash accused, raising an eyebrow at the lavender unicorn.

"Dash, be careful." Fluttershy whispered, turned her head to check on Spike.

"I'm not a princess." Twilight frowned. "Wait, maybe they have the wrong pony? I know I'm not..."

"It has the right address." Spike waved the letter.

"Twilight. Your brother married into royalty." Applejack pointed out. Twilight's eyes widened, and she glanced to Applejack. "Yeah, Princess Cadence. Ain't she royalty?"

"Oh my, she's right." Rarity nodded. "She's Princess Celestia's niece. That would make you a princess, Twilight. Not by old pony tale standards but still."

"That's ridiculous..." Twilight could see their point, but it was still uncomfortable.

"Shouldn't you be living in a castle then?" Dash asked, hovering over to Twilight. "A big castle with a bunch of servants and like, Olympic-sized pools?"

"No!" Twilight answered, but Dash didn't look like she was paying attention.

"And a ton of armed guards standing around, who'd throw themselves in front of you in an instant!"

"Ooh!" Pinkie Pie hopped up and down nearby. "And, like, a hundred chefs baking super-delicious cakes and cookies with water-fountains that spray punch and icing in every hallway and court jesters doing flips and telling funny jokes and-"

"And think of all the suitors you'd get! Handsome princes from across the land coming to court the new, young princess!" Rarity was grinning, enjoying the embarrassment on Twilight's face.

"Court... Twilight?" Spike glanced to Twilight, then grimaced. "Ugh..."

"Hey!" Twilight interrupted all of them and groaned. "Look, so I am a princess but I don't need a castle, I don't need jester or chefs or swimming pools or armed guards, and I definitely don't want suitors! Spike, keep reading." She ordered, massaging the bridge of her snout with her hoof.

Spike rolled his eyes and held up the letter again. "From the Director of Nobles' Affairs and the Desk of the Blueblood Legacy, Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, you are hereby scheduled to arrive at Canterlot at ten AM tomorrow morning to begin wedding preparations. Unless you have ponies to fill the jobs, dress-makers, chefs, and brides' maids will be provided for you."

"This sounds awfully familiar." Applejack pointed out.

"Yes but wedding preparations for who? And why would I need dress-makers, chefs, and brides' maids?" Twilight took the letter and scanned it herself. Spike hadn't left any details out...

"Oh!" Spike sat up straight, and held up another letter. Twilight stared pointedly at him and dropped the first letter. "Err, yeah, sorry, I guess I should've started with this one."

"Awfully awfully familiar." Applejack grumbled.

"Quiet Applejack. Go ahead Spike." Rarity nodded.

Spike unrolled the letter, and nervously began to chew his lower lip. He closed it suddenly, a nervous smile on his face. "So how about this weather? You did a great job with the clouds Rainbow-"

"READ IT!" Dash shouted, making Spike squeak and unroll the letter suddenly.

"F-From the D-Desk of the Blu-Blueblood Legacy." he gulped loudly, and glanced between the girls as they all leaned in closer and stared him down, "an-and the Office of Nobles' Affairs, you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, are to be married-"

"What?" Twilight and Rarity both gasped.

"-to Prince Blueblood-"

"WHAT!?" All six of the mares roared at once.

"- on March 14th, as arranged by your parents, Night Light and Twilight Twinkle, and Prince Blueblood's parents, Duke and Duchess Blueblood."

"Married?" Twilight whimpered, her rear legs giving out and her rear thumping onto the grass as her mind temporarily ground to a halt in shock.

"To Blueblood!?" Rarity's voice was high and tight as she all but squeaked his name.

"Night Light and Twilight Twinkle?" Pinkie Pie wondered out loud.

"Hold up!" Dash shouted, grabbing everyponies’ attention. "What does it mean that your parents and his parents arranged your marriage? They can't set you up like that!"

Twilight was quiet for a few seconds, then rose back to a standing position and spoke with some effort through a very tense jaw. "Yes. They can." She growled, and lifted Spike off of Fluttershy's back and set him on her own.

"I-I'm not in trouble, am I?" Spike nervously twisted the letter in his hands, but Twilight shook her head.

"They can? Why would they?" Fluttershy asked, dismayed by the news.

"I don't know." Twilight's voice was steely, and her gaze was threatening when she focused on Rainbow Dash. The pegasus flinched as Twilight spoke, "Dash. Be a pal and fly ahead to Ponyville and rent us a carriage under my name." She levitated a bag of bits up to Dash and tied it around her leg, and the rainbow-maned mare gulped, saluted, and flew down.

Twilight started walking towards Ponyville, then paused. "Girls." Twilight turned suddenly to face the other four mares. "I know it's a lot to ask, but will you please accompany me to Canterlot?"

"Uh, yeah, I dun' mind, Twi, but what're ya planning?" Applejack sweated a bit as she followed Twilight down to Ponyville. She'd seen Twilight angry before, but never this furious. She imagined a boiling pot with the lid just barely keeping it contained as she watched Twilight's stony expression.

"We don't even have to be there until tomorrow morning." Pinkie wasn't hopping as she normally did. Rather, it was a slow trot that saw her catching up with Twilight and walking by her side.

"I intend to arrive a little early." Twilight said, her voice a little too calm. "And speak with my parents on this matter." Oh, there was the barely contained rage.

Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy shared a brief look between each other, then nodded. "We're with you Twilight." Fluttershy caught up with the march to Ponyville.

"We will rectify this mistake, I can assure you of that. There is probably a reasonable explanation that can be corrected." Rarity nodded.

Twilight hardly looked reassured.

An hour and a half later, Twilight and her friends were leaving the Canterlot docking station. The entire ride over had been a tense, silent stare-down between Twilight and the seat opposite of her. She was definitely busy with her own thoughts, and none of the other mares wanted to break her out her trance.

Out of the carriage though, Canterlot was a noisy, busy place. Only Twilight and Rarity had spent much time here, the rest only attending on a few visits to the castle or to star in a play. Canterlot was spires and towers, gorgeous architecture perfected by unicorns centuries ago displaying many bright, dazzling colors, and most of these were shops.

Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash's heads couldn't stop swiveling around to take in their surroundings while dodging the unicorns that filled the streets. Many of them rich and posh, though several pegasi and earth ponies could be seen mingling with the crowds.

"... Huh." Dash flew past from the girls suddenly. Applejack kept an eye on her as the pegasus looked at a big notice board in the middle of an intersection. She flew above the crowd formed around it, reading and talking among themselves curiously, and returned with a blank look.

"Somethin' funny over there?" Applejack spoke up, getting Twilight to turn her head and look at Dash.

"Uh, well, kinda funny. Just weird funny though!" Dash chuckled nervously. Curious, Rarity lead them towards the board. They couldn't see it past the crowd.

"What does it say?" Rarity called up to Dash.

"Uh, well..." Dash rubbed the back of her neck, and Fluttershy flew up next to her to stare.

"Oh... My..." Fluttershy lowered back down to meet the expectant stares of her friends. "Well, um..."

"Ugh, hold on." Spike slid off Twilight's back and started for the crowd. "Excuse me! Coming through! Princess Celestia's student is coming through! Stand back!" Spike announced loudly, making the crowd quiet down, stare, look to Twilight, then slowly back away.

'March 14th, 12:00 PM, join the Bluebloods in celebrating the marriage of their son, Prince Blueblood, to the prodigy of Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle! Seating will begin early, and late-comers will be turned away unless invited. Join us on this happy day to see this union of two of our most royal families!' Beneath the words was a picture of a purple unicorn and a white unicorn standing before an altar, their hooves crossing each others.

"Oh." Rarity stared, stunned. "They're quite boastful, aren't they Twilight?" She was met with silence. She turned her head. "Twilight?" She spotted the purple unicorn racing away, towards the homes. "Oh my. Girls!" Rarity started sprinting after her, the rest just behind her.

The announcements were everywhere. The same pictures and invitation was on every notice board from the docking district to the living quarters, banners hung on the sides of buildings with the picture of the two unicorns blown up, with Twilight's and Blueblood's name underneath. Booths were selling merchandise, purple and white ribbons, cake decorations of Twilight and Blueblood together, posters matching the banner pictures, buttons and saddlebags with their cutie marks intertwining, balloons, streamers, specialized frosting...

Pinkie, at least, was having a field day.

"Pinkie, take that trash off!" Dash ordered as they walked past the many smaller homes in the living quarters, heading for a gated community in the distance.

"It's not trash!" Pinkie was bouncing, her tail tied up with balloons, a bow around her neck, her new saddlebag adorned with buttons and filled with frosting dispensers and rolls of streamers. "I'm commemorating Twilight's big day!"

"Pinkie, they're not gettin' married." Applejack reminded her dryly, watching Twilight power ahead. Ponies on the street seemed to recognize the supposed bride-to-be and were calling out congratulations, and were quieted down with a low snarl.

"Doesn't mean we can't celebrate their not-marriage!" Pinkie skipped along, unheeded by the weight of her haul.

"I'm pretty sure that's disrespectful." The farm mare pointed out, but Pinkie ignored her to hum 'Here Comes the Bride' in reverse.

Twilight opened the gate and went through with her friends trailing at a cautious distance, heading straight for a house at the far end of the street. They happened to notice it was the biggest house on the block, at least two stories tall with a single tower, and the nicest yard. There were gardeners tending to the hedges and flowers, and some looked up as they saw Twilight to greet her, only to duck and busy themselves in their work when she glared straight through them.

Twilight twisted the handle to the door, but it clicked. "Oh, since when did we start locking the door!?" Twilight grunted, and Spike tapped his chin.

"We forgot the house key at home." He shrugged.

"Maybe under the mat?" Fluttershy spoke up, glancing to the 'welcome home' mat. All of them winced as they heard a crack of wood, and looked up to see Twilight tossing the entire door handle and the lock it came with into the yard, the glow from her horn already fading as she snorted. "That works too..."

The door swung open, and the seven entered. Before they could take the time to look around Twilight's old home, voices sprung up from the room just past the entrance. "- believe you'd be so foalish! How could you not even tell your own son!?"

"W-well I'd just-" the male voice stammered for a bit, "- I didn't want him to worry-"

"Worry!?" The next male voice couldn't belong to any pony other than Shining Armor, captain of Canterlot's Royal Guard. "You thought I'd be more worried than when my guards walked up congratulating me on Twilight's wedding that I didn't know about!? You thought I'd be more worried than when I stepped out into town and saw banners, posters, signs everywhere talking about the wedding!? I find out just this morning this is all happening and you didn't want to worry me!?"

"Armor." Cadence's voice sprang up. It was deathly cool, and a little too careful. "You're angry-"

"Angry? I'm FURIOUS!"

"Sweetie, calm down for just one second." The six mares and one dragon poked their heads into the main foyer to see Twilight's mother, Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor standing around her father. Night Light was shuffling nervously and shaking as he met his son's enraged stare. Princess Cadence flipped her mane back behind her head and continued. "Armor and I are just a little bit surprised, father," her voice dipped in venom, "that our little sister is getting married and nopony thought to tell us."

"It was kind of sudden..." Night Light mumbled.

"Horse Apples!" Twilight Twinkle stomped her hoof. Twilight and Shining Armor both gasped at the exclamation and Night Light withered under his wife's stare. "You had three days to tell them and spent all of them moping around your study! It's bad enough that you married out Twilight but you thought you could keep it a secret!? I just hope you at least explained yourself to Twilight!"

Night Light's eyes widened and Twilight Twinkle's nostrils flared. "W-well, about that..."

"He didn't." Twilight Sparkle's calm, collected voice drifted across the foyer. The four heads inside whipped around to see the youngest of the family walking towards them. Spike was glaring daggers at Night Light, while her friends followed behind her with worried expressions. "The Bluebloods did." Twilight held up both of the letters she'd gotten.

"Twily..." Shining Armor's voice died as he scanned the letters, and every head calmly turned to face Night Light. Ten glares bore down on him, and he whimpered.

"Twilight." Her mother called, approaching to stiffly nuzzle her neck. "It's good to see you. Are you telling me that you were told just today as well?" The gentleness in her voice was forced so much that they could see her jaw flexing violently with each word.

"Yes mom." Twilight answered. Both Twilights turned their stares onto Night Light.

"You... You didn't TELL HER!?" Shining Armor shouted, stopping when his wife's wing went up to block him from getting closer to Night Light. "You're marrying her off and she didn't know!? You know, when I told everypony you were bumbling but kind-hearted I never thought it would turn into outright neglect!"

"I wasn't neglecting her!" Night Light shot up suddenly, squeaking when his wife let a low rumble out of her throat. "I just didn't know how to tell her!"

"Well this was a damn good way to find out!" Dash interrupted suddenly, taking one of the letters out of the air and throwing it at Night Light. "You had three days to send her a letter saying-... saying-!"

"'Oh hey Twilight, I'm marrying you to a git!'" Shining Armor finished.

"Yeah!" Dash bobbed her head.

"Now young lady! I certainly didn't mean to do it!" Night Light started, then withered again as his wife cleared her throat.

"Oh, that's right, that means he hasn't told you how he got us into this mess. Go on dear, tell your loving, trusting daughter how you sold her into the Bluebloods." She advised icily.

"We're all ears." Armor spoke up, snorting loudly through his nose, his right forehoof pawing at the carpet as his ears flattened. Cadence gave him a nudge to remind him to control his temper.

Night Light's eyes jumped back and forth between his wife, his daughter, and his son rapidly, and with a loud gulp, spoke. "W-well, four days ago, see, I was attending a ball I was invited to. Lots- lots of prestigious, you know, nobles and such would be there, and it was going to be for charity and all, and, well, they had a wine bar..."

Twilight let out a long, loud groan that drew her friends' attentions.

"You didn't." Armor gasped, and Cadence glanced to him in confusion.

"Well, I happened to meet Duke Blueblood at the Checkers table, and we were playing a game to pass the time, and we started talking..."

"About?" Twilight demanded, more than asked.

Night Light shook a little at her glare. "I-I happened to mention that I was enjoying my status as royalty now, but, well, we were still very low on the social ladder and I wouldn't mind getting a little more well-known..."

"Uh-huh." his daughter's tone both demanded he continued and promised death when the story was complete.

"H-he kept ordering us wine while we played, and he told me how he was annoyed with his son for bumbling around with different ladies but never getting married, and, well... um..."

"Go on dear." Twilight Twinkle advised, nudging him. "Tell her the good part."

"I... may have... on the game... I-may-have-bet-your-hoof-in-marriage." He ducked again, hooves covering his eyes.

"You- you bet me!?" Twilight shouted.

"What were you thinking!? You can't just bet Twilight!" Spike yelled at him, smoke curling from his little nostrils. Princess Cadence was debating whether or not to let Armor get past her as he ground his teeth and snorted more like a bull than a pony.

"I didn't mean to! It was the alcohol talking! I thought I was going to win!"

"Oh!?" Twilight snorted. "And what were you going to get if you won that game!?"

"... ... ..." Night Light whimpered, "... Another glass of wine...?"

Twilight's eyes widened.

"Twilight?" Rarity nudged her friend. She'd gone very very still.

"You just- that's- you preposterous idiotic drunken old foal! You- Twilight for wine? How can you- this doesn't justify-" Armor was interrupted when Twilight's horn flashed and the chandelier above them exploded.

Twilight Twinkle caught the falling pieces with a flash of her horn and glanced to the girls. "It's very nice to see you girls again, but we should save the pleasantries for later. Why don't you take Twilight up to her room and give her a chance to calm down." The five girls nodded, and dragged the frozen unicorn upstairs at her mother's direction.

"Wine! Class and wine!" Twilight kicked the post of her bed, her magic setting off again and causing a table to turn to splinters. "Oh we're real royals now!"

"Calm down Twilight!" Dash tackled the unicorn before she could break something else, and squeaked when she was teleported into Twilight's old telescope.

Applejack winced at the crash, and then approached Twilight. "Calm down girl, ye're lettin' yerself go a bit crazy."

"A bit crazy!? I'm getting married!" Twilight threw her head back and cackled loudly, making Applejack's jaw drop. "Married! Married! Married! It's the happiest day OF MY LIFE!"

"... Whoa nelly." Applejack mumbled before she nodded to Fluttershy, and the pink-haired mare was out the door in an instant. "Um, Twi. Listen, I'm sure we can put a stop ta this. We just gotta tell your folks, or heck, the Princess! They'll fix this mess in no time at all, you won't have to get married an', y'know..."

"But I do! If I don't get married, dad doesn't get the WINE!" Twilight's eyes were bugging out of her head, and she was grinning way too hard. Spike poked his head out from underneath the bed, then slid back underneath and shivered.

"Twilight, how about something nice to drink?" Rarity hovered a glass of water over, and Twilight knocked it out of the air with a sweep of her hoof.

"Drink? Drinking is what got me into this mess! I don't need more drinks!" She shouted. Rarity was pretty sure everypony in the neighborhood could hear her by now.

"Ooh! I know! How about a balloon!" Pinkie hopped by her, holding out a floating balloon starring Twilight and Blueblood in front of the altar.

"My husband!" Twilight shrieked, and head-butt the balloon, popping it with her horn. "Oh no! He's gone!" She began to cackle again, making Pinkie take a few steps back while whimpering quietly.

A bucket of water fell onto Twilight's head, soaking her. All ponies present winced while Twilight stood still, and Fluttershy floated just overhead with her hooves to her face. "S-sorry... it slipped!..." She squeaked fearfully.

The bucket, rather than exploding, carefully slid off Twilight's head, and the purple unicorn took a few deep breaths. "Thanks for that." She glanced up at Fluttershy, who meekly nodded. "What were you saying Applejack?" The much calmer Twilight looked back to her friend.

"Oh, well, y'know. We can talk to your parents and get the weddin' called off, get the Princess down if we gotta. They can tell the Bluebloods it ain't happenin'. They won't be happy but hay, it'll save us all the trouble." Applejack smiled, and Twilight began to nod.

"Perfect idea. Let's go get it called off." She started for the door.

"It's not that simple." Before they could reach it, Cadence walked into the room. She glanced down to Twilight, and her serious face turned into a small smile. "Hello there, little sister. It's great to see you again." She leaned down, and Twilight returned the nuzzle.

"What do you mean 'not that simple'?" Twilight asked as Cadence rubbed their cheeks together, and the taller pony lifted her head and sighed. "I'm sure the Princess-"

"Like I said, it's not that easy. This is a nobles' affair, not a Princesses', even if we are part of her family now. The decision has already been made by your guardians, and it can't be rescinded." Cadence sighed heavily and started to walk around Twilight's room, fixing tables, picking up books, repairing the leg of the kicked bed.

"What do you mean it can't be whatever'd?" Dash dropped down to the floor with a small glare. "Let's just have Twilight's parents call it off if the Princess can't."

"Again, it's not that easy." Cadence sat down in front of Twilight, smiling down at her sadly.

"Why not?" Twilight asked, and the rest of her friends gathered around to listen.

"The Princesses can't object because this has been tradition since before auntie Celestia and auntie Luna came to Equestria. Nobles marrying their children to each other has been tradition even before Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead came into power and created Equestria, and specifically barred the Princesses from interrupting their traditions to protect the Noble Lineage." She frowned even deeper. "And the reason your parents can't call it off is because the Bluebloods have already paid for everything. The wedding, the attendees, the after-party, the dowry, all of it. They agreed to, and already have the bits quartered out to pay for your future, Twilight. They have spent millions of bits on this, and if your parents called it off, they would have to pay it all back."

"But..." Twilight glanced down at her hooves briefly, and felt Cadence approach and lean down to nuzzle her neck again. "We don't have anywhere near that many bits." She spoke, realizing the depressing truth of it.

"Which is exactly why it’s not happening. The Bluebloods are dead serious about this wedding, and are spending more bits than we ever did for Shining Armor's and my wedding."

"Where is Shining Armor?" Twilight asked with a low sigh, glancing to the door.

Cadence smiled a bit. "Downstairs, helping mom shout down dad. You should have seen his face when he learned about it. I could have sworn he was going to level Canterlot with how angry he was."

"He doesn't like Blueblood much either, does he?" Rarity chuckled a little, and Cadence nodded.

"Duke Blueblood is a decent enough colt, but he's underhoofed with his dealings. Duchess Blueblood is a walking, talking diva disaster, I can't even say hello to her without wanting to bury her. Prince Blueblood..." Cadence's eyes narrowed. "I'll eat my own tongue before I have to talk to him again."

"You may not have a choice." Twilight grumbled, looking towards the door again. "Considering I'm marrying him."

"Yeah." Cadence sighed. "And I'm very sorry about that. I can assure you Shining Armor and I will be very strict with him and keep an eye out for things."

"You also have us!" Pinkie announced, drawing nods from all the other ponies. Twilight smiled around at her friends.

"Thanks everypony." The five ponies gathered around her for a small hug, and Twilight chuckled a little. "Hey, why don't we all go out and I show you around? Would you like to come, Cadence?" Twilight looked up at the alicorn, who smiled brilliantly.

"Of course! Though if I may make a request..." She leaned down and joined in on the hug. "Just call me sis. We are related now."

"I definitely won't forget that." Twilight beamed.

Twilight's spirits were in better shape than when she'd first gotten to Canterlot. She was very happy to introduce her friends to her old, favorite donut shop, show them the bookstores she used to frequent, and the magic academy she attended before becoming Celestia's student.

After that, Cadence led them to other places, showing off the best restaurants, several clothes stores, and even found a gardening shop for Applejack to take a look at. It was getting late by now, and they had just got to a store that sold all sorts of Wonderbolt souvenirs, and were snickering as Rainbow Dash freaked out and zipped all over when they noticed a small group of guards approaching.

"Uh oh." Cadence whispered. The other five ponies watched the guards come closer. "Those are Blueblood's house guards."

"Pardon us." The one in front announced, pausing a few feet from the group of mares. Dash stopped flying to watch. The guards weren't wearing golden armor, but rather silver, with blue stripes and the Blueblood Seal printed on the neck armor. They still had the usual guard's serious, flat expression as they looked to Twilight. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, correct?"

Twilight glanced to Cadence, who gave a small nod. "Yes, this is Twilight Sparkle." Cadence answered for her, and the guard nodded.

"Duke Blueblood has heard of you returning to Canterlot and has arranged a dinner between you and your fiancé in your home. We have been instructed to escort you to meet with him."

Twilight's ears fell, and she looked to Cadence again. Her sister nodded and rubbed her back. "Well," Twilight spoke up, hesitating for a moment before taking a few steps forward to meet with the guards, "Okay. I'll see you girls back at the house?" She glanced back to her friends.

"Don't worry Twilight, we'll be waiting for you." Rarity smiled. Twilight nodded, and they waved each other off before she was led away by the group of guards.

Dash settled down next to the other five mares. An uncomfortable silence ruled for a few moments before the blue pegasus cleared her throat. "We're totally following her, aren't we?"

"Oh yes." Cadence nodded and set off to do just that, the other girls quickly moving to follow her.

Twilight hadn't been sure of what to expect. Judging by her neighbors' looks neither did they. A full team of Blueblood house guards were in her little gated neighborhood, while a fantastically expensive carriage baring the Blueblood seal on it sat in front of her house. Ponies stood on their stoops and looked out their windows as Twilight was lead down the street towards her house, and Twilight could feel their eyes watching her.

How did this look? Like Celestia being lead to some big event, with golden-armored guards replaced by silver ones, with the high princess herself being replaced by Twilight? She was corralled between two rows of guards leading to her old house's front door, and each guard pressed their lips to a trumpet and played a triumphant song of return as she was brought inside.

She saw her parents smiling nervously in the foyer, and her brother arguing heatedly with the mare in charge of the house guard. They both stopped when Twilight and the guards entered. "Ma'am, we've retrieved Twilight." The colt leading their group saluted.

"Yes, I can see that." The silver-armored captain dead-panned, then approached the mare. "His royal highness, Prince Blueblood is waiting in the dining room for you. We will be taking a few moments to dress you appropriately for the occasion."

"Do I really need to be- eep!" One of the guards pushed her towards a bathroom, and Shining Armor followed them with a frown. Inside the marble-tiled bathroom, house guards milled about, grabbing brushes and started combing her down roughly. "Ow- hey I don't think- oof!" Her mane and tail were tamed and straightened, her coat was flattened and pulled to perfection, one of the guards exited a closet holding a big, elaborate pink dress with more puff, bows, and frills than anything she'd ever seen, and Twilight's face drained of color as she saw it.

"Hey! Watch how you're brushing!" Shining Armor swat one guard's horn, making him drop the brush. Armor picked it up himself and began to much more delicately comb Twilight.

"And just who do you think you are?" The colt in charge demanded, drying Armor's sharp glare.

"I think I am Shining Armor, captain of Canterlot's Royal Guard, and the older brother of Twilight Sparkle!" He answered, walking around Twilight, keeping the other guards from tending to her as he combed her out. Even if her older brother was short in temper at the moment, Twilight was very glad to have him around, and gave him a smile to show him that.

"Then as her older brother you must understand the delicateness of the situation. We are in a big hurry, Prince Blueblood is very impatient, so you must know-"

"What I know is that I'm pissed off that you brutes are touching my sister! Back down!" He barked. The guards tensed, ready to start something, but a quick flash of Armor's captain seal made them hesitate, and finally sit down to let him finish. "Heya Twily. Sorry we haven't gotten a chance to speak." He said lightly as he brushed her hair out.

"It's alright. I haven't been in much of a speaking mood today. How are things with Sis?" She asked, and Armor sighed.

"Cadence? Oh she's fantastic. Coming home every day to a pony that loves you? There's no better feeling in the world. A shame that idiot father of ours just ruined it for you." Armor huffed loudly, and slowed himself down to not mess up Twilight's coat.

"Yeah." Twilight hung her head. She pushed her shoulders up as Armor brushed her there. "So, when did the guards show up?"

"Oh, about thirty minutes ago. Basically took over the whole neighborhood and invaded the house. Then they escorted that putz you're marrying in without letting us speak to him, so I have no idea what his deal is. Watcha think?" He turned Twilight to face a full-body mirror, and Twilight smirked.

"You need a little practice." She lifted the brush and started straightening the ends of her mane and tail. "So he's actually here? In the house?"

"In the dining room actually. Guards won't let me in to have a word with him, so it's up to you to let him know I hate his guts." Armor went to retrieve the dress, but before he could ask for it, the guards closed in with it.

"I'll be sure to- eep!" Twilight squeaked, and several guards sat her down and held her forelegs out as the dress was lowered onto her.

"Be careful you bunch of clods! She's marrying your boss, not dating your sister!" Armor growled, making the guards grumble and slow down.

"Alright Princess Sparkle, lift your chin, good. Now puff out your chest, suck in your tummy, and stand up, very good." The dress slid down her back, over her backside, and her tail was tugged out through a flap. "Lift this leg. Now this one. Don't flex! Good girl. Lower your ears, now lift them. Excellent." With the guards working on her, the dress didn't take more than a minute to slip into.

Staring at herself in the mirror, Twilight felt she looked ridiculous. She had ruffles down her chest, a big poofy dress around her backside layered with frills, she had a red bow around each leg and a massive one tied just above her tail. They fit her with a low, rounded hat with a small rim, decorated with red and white flowers, while a white bow sat on her neck. "Uh..."

"How do you feel?" The guard in charge asked, holding up a mirror to let her see herself from various angles. The other guards were straightening the dress, and she tried to wiggle her tail, but a hoof stopped her. "Don't shake too much." Twilight let out a sigh, and the bow around her back loosened. "Or breathe too much." Twilight turned her head sharply, but nearly lost the hat. "Try not to move very much at all."

"Well, I feel ridiculous." Twilight answered honestly, staring at herself in the mirror. This was Rarity's thing, not hers, but even Rarity might be offended by this get-up.

"Trust me Twily, you look ridiculous." Armor nodded from behind her.

"Thank you Armor." Twilight smirked back at him, but he was blocked from her view when the colt in charge walked around her.

"Alright ma'am, let's get moving." He ordered. Twilight sighed, but stopped herself before she could make the bow loosen again. They stepped out of the bathroom and she was lead to the dining room door, but turned her head when she noticed the other ponies in the foyer.

Her mother and father were watching her carefully, and behind them, all five of her friends and Cadence watched with confusion. Or in Dash's case, amusement. "Pfft." Dash covered her face, then burst out laughing, earning her a deadly glare from Twilight just before she was lead through the door.

The guards exited and shut the door behind her. There were no other guards in the dining room. It wasn't a big room, it had just enough space to walk around the table in the middle, which was large enough for ten ponies. Tonight, though, there were only two chairs, one at each end. The chandelier wasn't lit, leaving a few candles to cast the room in a dim light. There wasn't even any sun coming through the window on the other side of the table.

The whole place smelled like food. Very rich, very good food, probably the freshest, juiciest that could be afforded, and cooked with skill that was cultivated from the youngest of ages. She could smell bread, butter, spices, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. It was a glorious feast, to be shared with...

"Ah, hello." Twilight turned her head and met the blue eyes of a pure white stallion standing a short distance away. He was wearing a full-bodied tuxedo, rather than the small one he'd worn at the Gala. She wondered how long he'd been waiting. And how real that smile was. "My name is-"

"Prince Blueblood." Twilight finished for him, keeping the accusation out of her voice. Oh yes, she knew him well. He was a household name thanks to his looks, and thanks to Rarity, she knew just how rotten he was underneath that brightly wrapped package.

He seemed pleasantly surprised she knew his name, and nodded daintily. "Why yes. And you are Twilight Sparkle, the prized student of Princess Celestia. I've been hearing quite a bit about you lately." Twilight nodded slowly, and he walked over with a twitch of his shoulder to have her follow him. "You're really quite the fascinating young mare." His voice was light-hearted, gentle, and almost kind. She was trying to hear for anything past it. He still sounded quite stuffy and upper-class but she didn't hear anything condescending.

“Really." Twilight stated more than asked as she was lead to one end of the table. He pulled her seat out, and she slid into it, nodding at him briefly in thanks before he pushed the chair back in.

"Yes, really." He walked around the table, every move delicate and precise, and even if he was an awful excuse for a pony, Twilight had to admit, he was incredibly attractive in person. He took his own seat at the other end, and using magic, began to slice off a piece of dark-brown bread and spread butter along one side. "Celestia's prized student. Saved the world three times, yet still so quiet." To Twilight's surprise, the perfectly sliced and buttered piece of bread settled on her plate. He then levitated her salad plate and began to prepare her meal.

"Well, it's really not a big deal." Twilight frowned a little as she watched him work, filling the table in front of her with soups, salads, and plenty of other little treats. Now that she thought about it, all this food was actually very good looking, and she hadn't eaten since the picnic she was supposed to have before the news.

"On the contrary, I think you'll find saving your homeland and all the ponies that live among them a very big deal. Isn't it so that if a hero that demands to be served fame and fortune by the victims of tyranny, then are they no better than the tyranny? Strength, wisdom, and skill is divided among many-"

"- yet those who use it are divided between those who wield them for peace and justice, and for power and glory." Twilight finished, watching Blueblood in surprise. Then they both spoke up at once.

"Humbleness needs no power, justice needs no glory. Were I to choose a hero, I would pick the old, simply-clothed farmer over the golden-armored youth, who would barrel into battle shouting praises for themselves rather than their country."

Blueblood nibbled on a wine-coated grape, and noted Twilight's surprise. "Something the matter?"

"You've read Soft Quill's Philosophy?" She asked, watching the rich colt across from her. Blueblood smiled, and dabbed his mouth with a napkin.

"It's quite good. I prefer them over his Trials trilogy. It's a pity it never took off like Trials did, there's so much more to think about in Philosophy." He used a fork to eat his salad rather than stick his muzzle into it like lower-class ponies would.

"I thought I was the only one who'd ever read it! Nopony in any of my classes have read it, and in the town I'm living in now I haven't found a single pony who hasn't said it was too hard for them!" Twilight blinked rapidly at Blueblood.

For his part, his chest swelled up proudly. "Well, I'll admit I had to read it a few times to get it, but the more I read it, the more I seem to discover. That's why it's my favorite these days, though it's just barely edging out Grissom's Red Midnight."

"Red Midnight?" Twilight crinkled her snout. Blueblood noticed, and paused in eating.

"Not a fan?" He asked, but his voice stayed level.

"Not really. Far too much prose. And, well, it's a little erotic for my tastes. I read it once and didn't like it." She took a bite of the piece of buttered bread he'd given her, and she had to keep herself from squeaking in joy. This was the best bread she'd ever tasted!

"It does try to fill itself out, I'll admit, but it's quite thought-provoking as you get closer to the end. Not to mention there's nothing wrong with a little eroticism." He smiled to himself and kept eating, and Twilight blushed at the thought.

"Maybe. I wasn't expecting you to be so well-read." She blurted out. She froze when he looked up, and she covered her mouth again. She was really not used to dealing with royalty.

"Well, I do suppose none of those magazines and newspapers mention that part of my private life." He looked to her, and she nodded quietly in confirmation. "I do like to do more than party, I can assure you. I have plenty of interests, just like anypony. What about you Twilight, what do you like to do?"

Did... did he just ask her what she liked to do? 'He's an egotistical, head-up-his-fanny, pride-inflated ninny who would as soon wipe his hooves on you as he would a dirty bathroom towel!' "Well, I like to read." Twilight started, and Blueblood nodded. More? "I also like to practice magic, and be with my friends. I've recently discovered I like exploring, and I like to help things run smoothly." She looked him in the eye. He didn't seem at all perturbed. "What about you?"

"Oh, I like the usual. Parties, reading, socializing, running business. I also like a good, intelligent conversation, but I must admit, it's hard to find these days."

"Really? One of my friends has tried to speak to you before. She's really intelligent and she said you acted like a jerk." She froze. His fork fell out of the air, and he blinked at her a few times in silence. Well this was going to be a very awkward night.

"... I don't know who you're talking about, but I have heard several times I am very high-maintenance." He nodded, and remained quiet as he ate.

"It's just, kind of surprising..." Twilight spoke up, drawing his eye. "I don't know what I was expecting, but you're acting very nice." She hoped she wasn't digging herself a grave at this point. She wasn't sure how he'd take it, but if Rarity was correct, he'd-

He crossed his hooves in front of him, and looked her in the eye calmly. "You and I are getting married." He spoke very firmly, and for a second, his calm face broke, and she could see his annoyance. "I'll admit I'm not happy with the circumstance, but my father is insistent, and has assured me this will be a lifelong thing. I like my life easy, so the very last thing I want is for the mare I'm being set up with to hate me. The best thing I can do is make the most of it." He put back on a calm face and began to eat some pasta, not noticing Twilight's surprised look. She hadn't really thought he'd be unhappy with it. She rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Though, if I may say, I'm quite pleased with how pretty you are."

Twilight blanched.

The doors to the dining room opened up. The house guards, the family, and the friends all turned to face the doors as Twilight Sparkle walked out, Blueblood by her side.

The tension in the air was so thick, Twilight was practically choking on it as she looked around slowly. She could see the displeasure in her friends' face, and the outright hate on Rarity's and Shining Armor's, while Cadence and her parents kept themselves calm and stoic.

The lead house guard approached. "Was everything to your liking, sir?" She asked, and he nodded.

"The food was acceptable, and the seats were comfortable. However," he fixed his look on the guard, who cringed a little, "the dress you chose for the lady was obviously uncomfortable, she was shuffling all night. Next time you dress her, I suggest you do it right, lest I have to hire some trained baboons who actually know what they're doing to replace you."

The guard leader nodded her head quickly and backed away. Twilight stared at Blueblood, then to her friends. Rarity looked confused for a moment, taken aback by the very slight concern for Twilight's comfort, but then Blueblood turned to face her parents. "As for you, I must say I'm heavily disappointed in the service. Not a single chef, waiter, nor butler came through all night, leaving us to serve ourselves! I can see it will be, once again, up to the Bluebloods to provide proper service when we are married. I suppose I will be the first to show your daughter how real royalty is meant to be treated." He rolled his eyes, the comfort and care in his voice gone as he spoke.

Twilight was staring her family and friends, as several of them had to work together to hold back Dash, Rarity, Shining Armor, and Twilight's mother. Blueblood ignored them, and they all froze as he delicately turned Twilight's head to face him with his hoof, a kind smile on his face.

"As for you Twilight, I look forward to practicing for our wedding tomorrow. Have a good night." He placed an innocent peck on her cheek and led the way out of the building, the house guards following behind him.

Twilight stared after him, dress burning in embarrassment.

I had better not see any comments on Growing Pains.

Why the Rush?

“Well, we should be nearly done.” Rarity sighed heavily, before using her magic to push her work glasses all the way back up her snout to eye the stitching in Twilight’s dress. “Oh, foo. That won’t do! That won’t do at all.” Rarity shook her head. Twilight yelped as the dress was all but ripped off her by Rarity and tied around a mannequin several feet away.

“What’s wrong with it this time?” Twilight asked with a long sigh, relaxing her legs before they went permanently stiff.

“Oh nothing on your part dearie, it’s all my fault.” Rarity made a beckoning gesture with her hoof, and six mares, young and old, ran up to greet her. “Girls, I fear a Trottingham stitch just isn’t cutting it.” She announced in resignation.

“Why?” One of the young mares spoke up. “It looks fine to me.”

“It clashes with the whole ensemble. It’s smooth, soft lines until you get to the stitch. Miss Rarity, how about a French stitch?” The oldest of the six suggested while several spools of thread hovered around her.

“A French stitch might work but I was actually thinking of trying a Las Pegasus stitch for the back of the dress.” Rarity pulled out a drawing board, and started designing her idea.

Up on the podium, Twilight lightly scuffed her hoof against the ground and looked up in boredom. She really should have brought a book. She couldn’t believe Rarity was changing her mind again. She knew time was short but she wished that the fashionista would pick a design and stick with it. Modification after modification, and not only was it looking more and more crazy with each redesign, but it was also looking incredibly heavy.

“Twilight, we’re going out to find a better thread for your dress. Try to stay out of the light, the last thing we want is you bleaching your coat!” Rarity called quickly before racing out of the store with all of her new assistants in tow.

“But it would take weeks of constant exposure to have any noticeable impa-” the door slammed shut, and Twilight let out a long, annoyed snort. It was bad enough that she was getting married today after being told just yesterday, now Rarity was driving both herself and Twilight crazy trying to make everything absolutely perfect. “It can’t possibly go perfect.” Twilight mumbled to herself, hopping off the podium and going to the windows. She stared down at the busy Canterlot street below, where dozens of ponies milled about and stared up at the giant banner inviting every pony in the city to come witness the unholy union of Twilight and whatever Prince Blueblood was selling himself as now.

“You know, when I sent you to Ponyville to make friends, I always hoped that you would find love in the process and meet a nice colt or mare who you would want to spend the rest of your life with.” A loving voice, soft as a bell chime, sweet as a spring breeze whispered in her ear.

Twilight turned her head quickly, and found herself looking into the adoring eyes of Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and as of a few months ago, her aunt-in-law. “P-Princess Celestia!” Twilight gasped, and a gold-clad hoof stopped her from bowing. Embarrassed, Twilight kept her head low, but lifted her eyes to meet Celestia’s once more.

“Honestly, Twilight.” Princess Celestia chuckled, and moved to sit by Twilight’s side and look down at the streets. “Today, tomorrow, they are your days, not mine. I don’t expect the blushing bride-to-be to bow to me.” Celestia gave her a loving smile, then began to mutter: “bride-to-be, bow to me, bride-to-be, bow to me. Hah.” She giggled.

“So, you’ve heard?” Twilight sighed remorsefully, and then mentally chided herself. Of course the Princess heard, she would know about all the goings-on in her kingdom, and she most definitely would not miss all the notice boards and posters and banners hanging in every street.

“I must admit, I was surprised when I first heard it. I went to speak with your brother on the matter and he had quite a few choice words to share with me about the wedding.” Celestia turned her head to face her student again. Even her sad smiles were as warm as the sun. “I wasn’t sure what to think. An arranged marriage between my dear student and my nephew? I never once considered that you would fall into the trap of nobility. It’s such a disgusting thing, parents choosing their children's future.”

“It wasn’t necessarily their fault.” Twilight grouched, recalling her father’s conversation. She did make an effort to speak to him this morning on more gentle terms, he was still her father and was under the influence of wine, but she kept recalling the consequences of it. Her future was to be dictated by some blonde-haired sleaze.

At least he tried to act nice around her.

“Oh, I heard the story. I wasn’t happy with it and I did share a few words with your father, but in the end, there’s nothing I can do about it.” Celestia leaned her head down and, to Twilight’s surprised, nipped her ear affectionately. “If there is any good to come from this debacle, it will be that, at the very least, I’ll get to see you more.”

Twilight blushed, her ears standing straight up, and she had to admit, she found the idea enticing. She hadn’t spent time with Celestia in a long while. Even the wedding was too busy until the very end, and by that time, Celestia was surrounded by others, leaving Twilight trying to squeeze in to share only a few short words with her. “Yeah.” Twilight nodded.

“So.” Celestia spoke up. “I heard you had dinner with Blueblood last night. I know my nephew can be difficult, how did it go?” Celestia asked. Twilight recalled it. Delicious food, idle conversation, a short discussion of books, Blueblood’s admittance…

“Strange.” Twilight mumbled. “Rarity told me what a jerk he was to her at the Gala, but during that dinner he acted very nice to me. Nothing particularly untoward comes to mind. In fact, he was an almost perfect gentlecolt. The only thing that really worries me is that, well, when I called him out on it he admitted he was only trying to get me to like him because he doesn’t want to be married to somepony who hates him.”

“Mm, yes. I’ll admit, I’m a little curious as to why he’s taking it so easily.”

“Oh not that easily. I noticed he was pretty uncomfortable the whole time, and he even seemed annoyed when he told me about why he was being so nice.” Twilight rubbed the cheek he had kissed last night. Part of it seemed so wrong and dirty, yet she knew he was being honest when he said he’d try and make the best of it.

“Oh, I understand that, but I mean that is all he’s done. He has been prone to some very, how should I put this? ‘Over-blown’, yes. Over-blown reactions in the past over smaller things. Either he’s still in shock, or he’s accepted it.” Celestia seemed unsure, but smiled sweetly down to Twilight to hide it. “I am glad you’re being so adult about this whole situation, but I must say, I was expecting a little more of a reaction from you. Not that I’m disappointed, but it would be nice to have the Bluebloods see what they’re bringing into their family.”

“Oh, well, you know…” Twilight blushed brightly, and chewed her lower lip. “I have my friends and family to keep me calm. I, uh, nearly destroyed my room yesterday after dad first told me how I ended up becoming a bride.”

“A pity you managed to keep calm. It would be nice to see Duke Blueblood’s face slip, even just a little when he saw what you’re capable of.” Celestia’s teasing smile made Twilight blush again, and with an embarrassed rub to the back of her neck, Twilight returned it.

“I’m sure they’ll find out eventually. I still have the rest of today to go mad.” The both of them chuckled a little, but Twilight still flopped down onto her rump as it all caught up with her. “Yup.” She whispered. “Just in time to get married.”

She froze as a long, white leg wrapped around her, and Princess Celestia leaned down to cuddle. Twilight’s face turned completely red as she leaned in to snuggle back. “Even in the strangest of times, you’ll still have your friends, your family, and me. I never thought I’d have to tell you this, but just in case, you are always allowed to visit me. No matter where you choose to live, or who you choose to live your life with, I am always here for you.”

Twilight’s eyes lowered to the floor, and she stared at her hooves. At any other time, the invitation would have sounded so happy, and Twilight’s life would have been fulfilled just to hear that, but right now, with Twilight’s life running so unexpected, it sounded more like a reprieve from a hectic future than a gift. Still… “Thank you Princess.”

There were a few still moments, where Twilight enjoyed the warmth and closeness to her favorite pony in Equestria, but Celestia ended them by speaking up. “So, Twilight, I don’t mean to alarm you, but how familiar are you with nobility and arranged marriage?”

Twilight turned her eyes up at the odd question, and shrugged her shoulders. “Not very. I’ve read a few fiction books that had the subject come up every now and then but they were pretty vague.”

“Ah.” Celestia’s voice turned very tender, as if she was speaking to a child. “Well, Twilight, you’re a smart young mare so you deserve to know.” Twilight’s looked up at Celestia, and watched her work her jaw uncomfortably. Twilight was suddenly very afraid of what an arranged marriage entailed. “Nobles like to marry their most beautiful, talented, and smartest children to make the most of their offspring.”

“Why would they make the most of their offspring by marrying them so slap-and-dash like that?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. Celestia looked down at her, and cleared her throat.

“Err, well, I don’t mean the parents’ offspring, Twilight.” Twilight still stared at her, confused. “Oh my.” Celestia chuckled nervously. “You’re familiar with genetics, of course?”

“Of course I am. I used to ask you questions about it all the time.” Twilight nodded.

“Yes, I remember. Anyways, nobles like to strengthen their bloodline to ensure they have a stronger family in the future, usually by pairing up their strongest children in a hope that they will, well, create a stronger generation together.” Celestia explained, a little red-faced beneath her coat.

“Oh.” Twilight thought it over a few moments. “Oh! I get it!” She smiled suddenly, and Celestia stared nervously.

“You do?” That wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting.

“Of course! The parents put their brightest, most talented children together to keep their businesses strong and respect the honor of their families, as well as guide the non-nobles around them to a better future!” Twilight bobbed her head.

Celestia stared down at her for a good while, working her jaw. Shoot. Luna was so much better at not getting embarrassed about this. “Y-yes, of course Twilight, that’s exactly it.” Celestia nodded. She would find a… better way to explain this. “The Bluebloods will be expecting you to lead those around you to a better future.” ‘And have lots and lots of super-powered babies.’ Celestia groaned at the thought.

“Don’t worry Princess.” Twilight looked down at the street again, at the many citizens of Canterlot. “I promise I won’t let you down. Even… even if I don’t like this, I will fulfill my duties as a noble, and create a stronger next generation! Even if I have to dirty my own front hooves to do it!”

Celestia hid a laugh with a tiny snort, and bobbed her head. “O-of course Twilight! You will be an excellent leader.”

“And I will fulfill my duties no matter what. Even if it’s with Blueblood or any other pony.” Celestia did her very best to not grin. “I won’t take it lying down. I will be up on all four of my hooves fulfilling my duties, and not just in some fancy house! Blueblood and I shall strengthen the generation no matter where we are, in the castle, out on the streets, in the clouds- Princess?”

Celestia had suddenly collapsed, shaking with laughter.

“Is the dress almost ready?” Twilight glanced back at Rarity as three ponies worked on her rear-end, making the finishing touches on the back of her dress. It wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. Looking in the mirror, it wasn’t as big and puffy as the weird, pink dress pushed onto her last night. This one lay nice and flat on her back, and flowed down her body rather than make her look bigger.

“Just about, dear.” Rarity answered, tightening the sleeves of the dress. “Sew, what’s the time?”

“Ten minutes ‘til nine. We got an hour.” The young mare in the back answered, rushing over with a hoof-made veil (as hoof-made as magic would allow) and draped it over Twilight’s head. Twilight winced, and blew a soft breath to get it out of her face, but it just came right back down.

“One hour to meet-” Rarity tightened the dress around Twilight’s mid-section, making the unicorn squeak, “- an insufferably charmless fool. Ugh. Twilight, were you any other pony I’d have tossed you out by now.”

“Thanks?” Twilight gasped out as the dress was tightened further, and she held her breath as Rarity eyed the stitching.

“Breath out.” Twilight did, and she felt the dress stretch, then pop. “Shoot! Divine, more thread, two needles, and a pep talk!” Rarity called, the stress in her voice making Twilight sigh. She was such a hard worker…

“You’re a fantastic artist miss Rarity!” The called unicorn spoke as she offered along with the thread and needle. “Your dress-making is brilliant and original! In a modern sense.”

“Thank you.” Rarity whispered and corrected Twilight’s dress once more.

“Everyponys so stressed.” Celestia chuckled from the corner, keeping out of the way as the fashion ponies ran about the room, gathering materials and triple-checking the designs. That was true, for sure. Twilight had her wedding, Rarity had to make the dress for the wedding, and to top it all off, the Princess was in the room. That was more than enough to make any common pony sweat.

“I’m sure everything will go fine.” Twilight flicked her ears to make room for the veil, and squeaked again as the dress squeezed around her stomach. “Rarity! I still need to breathe!” She gagged, and the dress loosened.

“Ah! My apologies, I’m just so worried.” She sighed, and Twilight took several deep breaths to make sure the dress would fit. “Better?”

“Better.” Twilight nodded, but a hoof stopped her. “Lemme guess…”

“Try not to move too much.” Sew ordered, making Twilight roll her eyes. She could see this being a problem in the future.

‘Oh dear…’ She hadn’t even considered that. How many dresses would she need in the future? There would probably be parties and social functions and ponies would expect her to look her best and… “Rarity, I know it’s kind of sudden, but can I rely on you to make my dresses in the future?”

“Twilight, I’m flattered, and while I would love to put my talents to good use making you the belle of the ball wherever you go, now is not the time to discuss this! Where is that flower wreath!?” She called to the back of the room.

“Almost finished!” A voice answered, and Rarity whimpered.

“We need it now, dear! I can’t complete the head without the wreath!”

It almost wasn’t worth it just for all the stress…

“Don’t you dare nick my hooves.” Blueblood ordered tersely. His hygienist nodded his head briskly, and Blueblood lifted his left hoof. A file delicately ran along the edge of it, rubbing away the sharp edge and rounding it. “Will my suit need horseshoes, tonight?”

“No sir. You will be wearing the charcoal suit.” His servant answered, narrowing his eyes as he eyed the hoof.

“And the lady?” Blueblood was staring at himself in the mirror. Married. At his age? It was not unheard of two hundred years ago, but it was a modern time and he was a modern stallion.

“White, pure as snow.” The colt answered, continuing to file.

“Excellent. Have two roses saved, one for my suit, and one for her dress.” He ordered, eyes closing. Married… he didn’t feel ready to be married. He didn’t even know this mare, much less care for her.

“Of course, sir.”

It was quiet for several minutes as his hooves were filed to perfection, but just outside the door he heard the chime of a silver bell. “Answer the door.” Blueblood ordered, watching in the mirror as the servant did as he was told. He would miss his nightly visits to the mares he was familiar with. Nopony would dare tolerate him being with another mare, especially not his wife.

Two colts walked into the bathroom, Amber Chalice, a reddish-brown colt with red hair, perfectly coiffed, wearing a tie and a small suit, and Beau Gentry, a much larger, bulkier colt with a light gray coat and jet black hair, kept short and clipped wearing bow-tie and a white tuxedo. “Blueblood, my good friend!” Amber walked closer, keeping far enough to not interrupt the hygienist. “We’ve come to congratulate you on your big day! Why didn’t you tell us that you were getting married sooner?”

“It came as a surprise to me as well, actually.” Blueblood answered joylessly. His two oldest friends glanced to each other, and then back to him.

“Well a surprise marriage certainly isn’t above you, old boy. I guess I just assumed your proposal would be just as brilliant and public as the invitation is, you always did like a show.” Beau pointed out with a smile.

“With a newly made royalty, no less. Twilight Sparkle, eh? I always thought she was too prudish and homely. She’s kind of plain, isn’t she?” Amber followed up, watching Blueblood’s face in the reflection.

“I saw her yesterday.” Beau turned to face Amber. “She’s really nothing all that amazing. Purple? Ugh, so last summer, and she didn’t even bother to dress up! How do you even know her, Blueblood?”

Blueblood let out a low sigh. “I don’t know her.” The two colts stared at him for a moment, then each other, then him again. “My parents arranged for us to be married. I met her just last night.”

“How awful! To be forced to wed such an unspeakably plain mare!” Amber grimaced.

“I bet she’s daffy, too. You know what they say about noble mares who don’t keep up with themselves, crazier than a three-headed badger.” Beau nodded in agreement. “So what does she do as Princess Celestia’s student?”

“Oh, she probably kissed her hooves enough to impress the Princess. Her magic is probably related to buttering a pony up.” Amber huffed.

“Ugh, a pony with no drive. How awful.”

“Amber, Beau, this is my fiancé you’re speaking of.” Blueblood sighed heavily. His servant had him lift his back left hoof and began to file it down.

“Ah, of course Blueblood, very sorry. I guess we’re just wondering how you can possibly bare it! She’s just so… not you.” Beau watched him in the mirror, and Blueblood rolled his eyes.

“No she isn’t.” Blueblood admitted. Were it his choice, he probably would have never spoken to the mare for the rest of his life, but here he was, about to marry her. At least it would bring some attention to him, a chance to be up in the spotlight, performing a grand, traditional marriage the Princess herself would head, with a mare that was at least powerful, and well-learned. Somewhat interesting too, he was still surprised she could quote from Philosophy. “She is still going to be my wife, like it or not. If all you two are going to do is complain about her, you can wait outside.”

“Err, of course, Blueblood. We shall meet you there!” Amber turned for the door.

“Again, congratulations, I guess!” Beau followed the red colt. Once outside the door, with Blueblood out of hearing range, he glanced to Amber. “You hear his voice? He’s not happy at all.”

“Not to mention disappointed. Come, we shall go investigate this mare ourselves.” Amber flicked his tail and started for the door, Beau just behind him.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going through with this.” Dash stared at the ceiling of the bakery they were loaned with a crinkled snout. “How can you girls just be over there baking when Twilight’s getting sold out?” She turned her head sharply to face the others.

“Fluttershy, cookie dough, stat!” Pinkie called from across the bakery, and Fluttershy rushed to the supply cabinet to gather ingredients.

“Dash, none of us are happy about this.” Applejack mumbled nearby, glaring at the cake batter she was mixing. “But there ain’t much we can do about it. Twi’s willin’ ta go through with it, and even if we don’t agree with it, we gotta respect her decision.”

“But it’s the wrong decision! She’s letting herself get caged up with some blond jerk because of her parents! We need to make her see the truth and dump that jerk!” Dash rolled onto her stomach and glared at Applejack.

The farm mare mixed faster, more violently. “Ya think I don’t wanna go buck some sense into the lot o’ them? Dun’ care if it’s some fancy noble rule, think a buncha smart ponies would realize how dumb it is. ‘Sides that, if Twi’s parents did call it off, they’d go broke tryin’a pay it all back.”

“We could help them!” Dash insisted, standing up suddenly.

Applejack stopped stirring to stare up at Dash. “Help them pay off twenty-eight million bits?”

“Well yeah! Why not? It always works in movies! We just gotta go find a competition for a lot of bits! There’s got to be a flying competition happening somewhere!”

“There is!” Pinkie shouted before Applejack could open her mouth. The pink mare popped up right between them, shoving a paper into Dash’s mouth. “There’s a flying competition right here in Canterlot!”

“Wha- really!? Awesome! See Applejack?” Dash smiled smugly and took the paper to read it.

“And just how much is the prize for this competition Rainbow Dash?” Applejack raised a golden eyebrow at the pegasus.

“Five-hundred bits!” Dash announced proudly. Pinkie’s smile never left her face. Applejack facehooved.

“Am I the only one seein’ a problem here? Fluttershy, you get what’s wrong with this, right?” Applejack glanced back to Fluttershy, who nodded meekly.

“Oh there’s no problem AJ! Dash can do it!” Pinkie beamed as she took the paper. “She can keep doing these competitions and gathering the five-hundred bit prizes!”

“Do y’all know how many competitions she’ll have to actually win to pay off all that money?” Applejack asked, leaning against the counter with an incredulous look.

“Well-“

“Fifty-six thousand!” Pinkie answered immediately, bobbing her head. Dash glanced to her in surprise, and her face slowly fell. She tossed the competition flier away.

“Well, whatever. We’ll find something else.” Dash lay back down and glared at the ceiling. Applejack shook her head and started filling up cake tins with the batter, and heard a snap. Dash had her hoof raised up high, and was sitting up. “I got it!” Dash announced with a mischievous look.

“A clue?” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“No, better! Twilight’s family has to pay off the Bluebloods if she’s the one who calls it off, right?” Dash grinned evilly. Applejack stared for a moment, but then realization dawned on her.

“But if the Bluebloods call it off, Twi doesn’t have to pay ‘em a bit! Rainbow Dash, that’s perfect!” Applejack knocked her hoof against the counter top and grinned.

“Yeah! Twi doesn’t have to marry a big dummy and she can still have the wedding cake! It’s perfect!” Pinkie bounced away gleefully, and Dash and Applejack nodded to each other.

“Um…” The two mares glanced back, and saw Fluttershy nervously rubbing her hooves together. “That’s all good and all, but, how?”

Dash and Applejack looked to each other again, and both slunk back. “… Good question.” Applejack mumbled.

She had to squint as light poured down from above in the dark room. She stood still, and looked around slowly. She couldn’t see anything outside the light, just a dark room. She held her foreleg over her eyes as she looked back up. “I can’t see a thing!”

“Sorry ma’am!” The light shut off, and Twilight sighed, and then had to squint again when the whole room lit up. She was in an auditorium, a big one at that. Over a thousand seats, from the floor to the balconies, filled the room. For now, it only had a few ponies in it, including herself. Technicians running the lights, Rarity and Celestia for the support, and Shining Armor and Cadence sat in the front row to watch.

“Looking good, Twilight!” Cadence called, waving a front hoof. Twilight waved back with a small smile. She certainly didn’t feel good. She couldn’t believe the Bluebloods managed to rent out every single seat in the Canterlot castle’s theater. Her brother had gotten married in a room specifically designed for weddings in the castle, yet apparently that wasn’t enough.

There would be so many eyes on her…

The lights to the room dimmed again, leaving her in the dark, and the spotlight from above came on her again. This time, it wasn’t so blinding, and she could see much more clearly. “Better, ma’am?” The voice called from above.

“Much! Thank you!” Twilight called up and paced in a circle in the light.

“She looks marvelous up there.” Rarity sighed to Celestia. Even if the groom wasn’t agreeable, even if this whole thing was just as sudden as Shining Armor’s wedding, it was still such a treat to attend a wedding. A friend’s wedding at that!

“You did so well on her dress.” Celestia smiled down at Rarity, and then glanced to Twilight as the unicorn waved.

“Is the light too strong against my dress?” She called down to the attending ponies.

“You’re just fine, Twily!” Shining Armor called back.

“Alright!” She nodded and looked up to the ceiling. “Lights!”

“Check!” The spotlight went off and the room was lit up once again. She stared at all the empty seats, and shivered. So many ponies…

Shining Armor and Cadence hopped out of their seats to go join Twilight by the altar set up on the stage. The unicorns here moved quickly. The old marble stage had been buffed and tiny cracks had been filled in, and a staircase was added for the middle aisle for Twilight to walk up. The back of the theater had been painted various shades of purple, gold, white, and blue to symbolize the union of the two families, and gave it a look of a multicolored, rising dawn.

“Ah, excellent, nearly everypony’s here.” A voice rang up from the entrance. Everypony turned to look as several ponies entered. Twilight’s eyes immediately went to the stallion in the center, recognizing Prince Blueblood immediately, so she assumed the stallion and mare to his sides were Duke and Duchess Blueblood. She could feel Shining Armor tense beside her, and a low rumble come from his throat, while Cadence lifted herself taller and turned to face the groom. “Early as well. I do so love a prompt pony.” Duke Blueblood spoke with a deep, resounding voice that let Twilight know that, under no uncertain terms he was the family patriarch.

Twilight hesitated, but then willed herself to walk off the marble stage and down the steps to greet what would become a part of her family. “Prince Blueblood.” She managed a smile to her fiancé.

“Twilight.” Blueblood walked right up to her, and the two awkwardly stood in front of the other. Blueblood glanced around briefly, then straight down at Twilight. “I like your dress.”

“Oh, thank you. You’re looking very dashing yourself.” She admired his tuxedo for a moment. It was finely made, though the two roses did look kind of odd.

“Ah, yes.” Blueblood followed her stare, and undid one of the roses in his lapel. Everypony watched as he floated the rose to her hair, lifted her veil, and tied it in just behind her ear. “Perfect.”

“Oh, I wish I could see.” Twilight frowned a little and looked up, but looked back at Blueblood when his horn began to glow. An instant later, a square mirror hovered in front of her face. Twilight ducked her head to look, and a small flash of her horn adjusted the rose to sit perfectly behind her ear. “Thank you, it looks very nice.”

“It truly does.” Blueblood nodded his head politely.

Duke Blueblood cleared his throat nearby, and both of the ponies looked up to him. “Blueblood, I can’t help but notice your aunt is here. Do go say hello, I would like to speak with my daughter-in-law.”

“Yes father.” Blueblood glanced down to Twilight briefly, and she could have sworn there was a look of helplessness in his eyes before he started walking towards Princess Celestia.

“I believe I’ll go look for Twilight’s parents.” Rarity whispered hastily to the Princess, who nodded briefly in understanding and looked back up to her nephew. Rarity was out the door before Blueblood could stand before his aunt.

Duke Blueblood looked back down to Twilight. He was an older colt, probably older than her father, and she could see he had a pure white coat where he wasn’t covered by his solid black suit. His mane was more of a manila color than a blonde, and it was kept short and straight, except the ends, which curled ever so slightly. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, I’ve been a fan of yours for quite a while now.” He said with a slight smile.

“A fan?” Twilight asked in surprise. “A fan how?”

“I’ve been following your world-saving exploits for two years now, ever since I learned of the six mares that defeated Nightmare Moon. Interesting business, I must say, but I was surprised to learn one of them was Princess Celestia’s personal student.” He pressed a dainty hoof to his chest and leaned his head down. “I take a great interest in powerful young ponies such as you. Seeing it put to such fantastic use is quite awe-inspiring. It will be a pleasure to have such a prestigious young mare as a part of our family.” He lifted his head high again and set his hoof down. Twilight was blushing hard at the stream of compliments, not sure how to respond. Duke Blueblood was one of the most wealthy, powerful ponies in Canterlot; anything he said was worth its weight in gold to listen to. To be complimented by him, especially so passionately was something else entirely. “What do you think, Duchess?”

Duchess Blueblood was an attractive cream color, so soft she was nearly white, but a simple turn showed her gorgeous colorization in the bright light. Her long, blonde hair was beautifully layered, with a bun resting just above a cascade of golden mane. She wore a wine red dress that flared up dramatically in the back, almost like a peacock. The beautiful mare stared at Twilight with honey colored eyes, and a low noise came from her throat. “I don’t know, dear.”

“Don’t know?” Duke raised an eyebrow, watching his wife scan Twilight over. Twilight held completely still for the mare to see.

“She’s just so… purple…” She spoke slowly. Both Twilight and Duke watched her for a moment. “She could be a better color… like fuchsia… fuchsia’s nice.”

“Fuchsia is nice, honey, but we can’t just go changing her coat.” Duke pointed out, but Duchess made that low hum again.

“Then do we really want to go through with it?... She’s just so… purple…” Duchess slowly turned her head, like a curious dog, and stared at Twilight. Twilight stared back at Duchess, unsure of what to think or say. “I mean, what if the kids come out so… purple…”

‘Kids?’ Twilight jolted back, as if on the receiving end of an electrical shock.

“Honey, with our son’s white coat and Twilight’s purple coat, the kids will probably be fuchsia. Why don’t you go have a seat, dear? Wait for the practice to start.” Duke offered, brushing against his wife affectionately.

“Well… alright.” The mare started walking away daintily, tail waving gracefully behind her. “Just as long as they aren’t purple…”

Duke watched his wife sit, then turned away from her and led Twilight along the front of the stage. “Don’t mind your mother-in-law, she’s dumber than a stack of bricks.” Twilight nearly stumbled over herself in surprise. “It’s so nice to finally have such a brilliant young suitor for my son. I’ve been at a loss for a while trying to figure out what to do with him.”

Twilight frowned as they walked towards what would be the refreshments table. All that was on it right now were bottles of water sitting in tubs of ice. Duke Blueblood did not hesitate to uncap one and take a long draw from one. “What to do with him?” She asked when he finished swallowing.

“He hardly does anything nowadays. He used to be going to private schools to learn about business but now that he’s graduated he doesn’t apply himself.” He contemplated his bottled water, than glanced down to Twilight. “He spends his nights cavorting around with a bunch of vapid young mares who learn to speak by repeating whatever anypony important says, and spends his days in the presence of a team of yes-ponies who do nothing more than kiss the sacred ground his hooves tread upon. He doesn’t have an intelligent young mare on his level that can tell him these things are wrong and that he needs to get himself a damn job. I am hoping that you, Twilight, can get his head out of the clouds. After all, I don’t think he’s ever even spoken to such a pretty young mare smarter than he is.” He took another long drink and sighed. Twilight imagined him doing that with a flask of alcohol, and found it fit very well.

“I’m flattered, sir.” She blushed. She truly was. She had never met Duke Blueblood and hadn’t known what to expect. She could see where Prince Blueblood got his looks though. Judging by Duke, he would be a very handsome stallion in his longer years. “But I’m a little concerned. I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’ve never… I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I don’t really know how I’d convince him of anything.”

“If I knew the answer myself, I wouldn’t be so intent on getting you two married. Of course, the other benefits of joining our families are tempting as well.” He smiled kindly down at the unicorn, and Twilight blushed, not really understanding what he meant, but nodding. “I do look forward to what your joining will bring. I imagine it will be quite the treasure trove for both of our families.” He turned his head towards the door, ears perked. “Ah, there are your parents. Time to begin the ceremony, then! Go ahead and get into place, I’ll be speaking with your father.”

Twilight turned her head to watch him trot over to the entrance, where her parents were in-fact standing with Rarity. They were being greeted by Princess Celestia and Prince Blueblood, though Rarity quickly took off to sit by Shining Armor and Cadence, and Duke Blueblood came to start shaking hooves. Twilight went up to the altar and stood quietly, smiling a bit awkwardly down at her brother, sister, and friend.

The ponies at the entrance split off, with Duke Blueblood and Twilight’s parents coming to sit in the front with Duchess, Celestia heading straight up to stand at the altar, and Blueblood came and stood next to Twilight. Twilight turned to face Celestia, sharing a smile with her, but glanced to Blueblood as she saw him fidgeting. He was watching his aunt with a stony expression, but was shifting ever so slightly. “Nervous?” Twilight whispered, feeling her hooves get cold.

Blueblood glanced to her with just his eyes, and then nodded. “Very.”

“Me too.” Twilight whispered, looking forward, back at Celestia.

Blueblood stared down at his hooves for a moment, and looked around. The wedding coordinator was taking his time getting down from the lights. He glanced to Twilight and winced. He really was marrying this mare. ‘Worst thing that could happen to me is have her hate me.’ He reminded himself, and sucked in a deep breath. “It’s so different being the one up here. I don’t know how most couples make it look so easy.”

“I know what you mean.” Twilight smiled nervously. “This is all so new to me. My brother’s was really fancy but this is ridiculous.”

“But it is very nice.” Blueblood glanced around. So brilliant and showy. It would no doubt be talked about for years. The Blueblood and Sparkle wedding, something everypony would have to owe up to somehow. It was impressive enough already and they didn’t even have the orchestra, the flower spells, or the expensive food and wine out yet. He was looking forward to seeing where the rest of that twenty-eight million went to.

“Yeah.” Twilight stood still and watched the wedding coordinator rush from the ladder leading upwards to the stage.

“Sorry about that, had to uncross a few wires up there. Alright, everypony here?” He glanced around. “Bride, Groom, Princess, family, excellent. So here’s how this’ll work. I’ll talk it out, and then we’ll try practicing a few times. It’s not hard at all just keep your speeches in mind. So, first thing’s first.”

He looked to Blueblood, and opened a big folder full of pages. “Prince Blueblood, your job is already done. You just need to stand right where you are. Your best man will be right behind you for when the rings come.” He then glanced to Princess Celestia. “Princess, I trust you can speak without the assistance of a microphone?”

Celestia smiled almost smugly, and her horn glowed gold. Then, she spoke, “MARES AND GENTLECOLTS, I TRUST YOU CAN HEAR ME?” her voice echoed through the hall, and Twilight and Blueblood both shook their head as a ringing filled their ears. “Oh, maybe a little too much.”

“We’ll work on that in a moment. Twilight, you get the hard part as the bride. Your job will be to enter the room by your father’s side and look pretty and graceful all the way up to the altar. Here, you’ll stand across from your betrothed, and the ceremony will begin. Everypony’s cue to quiet down will be when the lights dim, and then turn off. At that moment, the first chords of the orchestra will be played, and the door will be opened for you, Twilight. You will be in a spotlight the whole time you come up to the front, among a few other things that I’ll talk you through as we’re walking up. The orchestra will take a minute to finish their song, and then Celestia will begin speaking. Let’s practice the opening ceremony. Everypony ready?” Twilight and Blueblood nodded as Princess Celestia cleared her throat to prepare herself. “Very well then.” The organizer nodded to Night Light. “Twilight, you and your father will go stand behind the door. I’ll knock to let you know when to come in, we’ll practice walking dainty, and then Celestia can speak her part. Alright, let’s go.”

Twilight nodded to him, and followed the organizer down the steps towards the doors, her father getting up and joining her as she passed by. “We’ll be alright.” He whispered reassuringly. Twilight only nodded. She could do this. She faced down the Princess of Endless Night, the very essence of Discord itself, and an army of shapeshifters before.

This should be easy as pie.

They stopped outside the door, and the organizer nodded at them both. “Alright, wait until I knock. Ready?” She and her father nodded, and he shut the door. “One, two, three…”

A healthy kick broke the lock and opened the doors wide, and Applejack strode in, followed closely by Dash, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. “Oh, sorry…” Fluttershy whispered, trying to shut the doors and adjust the lock.

The handle fell out.

“Eep!” Fluttershy ran after the rest of their friends.

“- we’ve come to bear witness to the union of two great ponies today, both of whom are very close to me.”

“Man, I can’t believe we had to bust in here just to see the practice. Shouldn’t we be down there? Aren’t we flower girls or something?” Dash griped as they walked to the banister of the second-story balcony and looked down. Twilight was standing at the altar with Blueblood by her side, while the tiny audience down below listened to Celestia speak respectfully.

“- that life is a journey, and watching these two grow into the ponies they are today has been a personal honor. But enough about my experiences, today-”

“Bridesmaids Dash. We’re Bridesmaids.” Applejack corrected. It was so dark. Other than the spotlights on the stage, they couldn’t see a thing around them. At least it gave them a good view of what was happening down below.

“Same thing! When do we bust Twilight out of here?”

“We don’t. We’re gonna wait and see what she thinks before we embarrass the heck outta her.” Applejack sighed, and Dash grumbled and leaned down to rest her chin on the banister.

“She looks very nice in her dress.” Fluttershy spoke up. Applejack and Dash could both agree with that. Applejack reached a hoof over and pressed Pinkie down to keep her from hopping.

Celestia’s speech went on for a little longer, and when she stopped she looked to a pony the girls didn’t recognize. They could just barely hear it as the wedding organizer down below spoke up. “Alright, now this is the part where you two exchange vows. I know this is a little sudden, so we’re getting a few written up for you both with the help of your families. Those will be ready by the real wedding and you’ll just have to read them off. The ring-bearer will come out, you will exchange rings, and then-” he turned his head to Celestia, who lifted her chin triumphantly.

“You may now kiss the bride!”

“And tada, you two are married. The reception will be out in the castle grounds, everybody eats, dances, goes home, then you two are free to live out your lives together. Let’s have a few more practice sessions to make sure we have all the cues down. Lights!” The spotlight went off, the theater lights went on.

Applejack blinked her eyes rapidly to get the spots out of her vision, and watched as Twilight was lead down the aisle by her father. “Ta think she has to kiss that big lug.” Applejack rubbed her forehead.

“She doesn’t have to if we bust her out.” Dash reminded her, but Applejack rolled her eyes. The last thing they needed was to break Twilight out of here, only to find out she was going to go through with it and drag them all back.

“Uh oh!” Pinkie exclaimed. Applejack glanced to the mare, and followed her stare. There was a pair of well-dressed colts on one side of the balcony, both looking through binoculars down at the scene below. “Twilight’s not even married yet and the paparazzi are already trying to ruin her life! C’mon girls, we need to save the wedding!”

Applejack lunged, and snagged Pinkie by the tail before she could skip over. “Slow down there!” Applejack mouthed around the tail.

“Maybe they’re Blueblood’s friends?” Fluttershy offered.

“What kind of stupid ponies would break into their friend’s practice wedding?” Dash grunted, and then froze up as the rest of the girls stared back at her. “Uh, besides us!”

“Well, we won’t know by just standin’ around. C’mon, let’s go ask ‘em.” Applejack led the way over. The two colts were too engrossed looking through their binoculars to hear the girls coming.

“Can you believe what she’s wearing?” The amber-colored of the two asked.

“I know.” The dark gray one asked. “I wasn’t expecting her to look so go-”

“Atrocious!” The girls froze in mid-step as the colt announced this.

“Um, yeah. Gawful. What I was going to say.”

“Gawful isn’t a word, Beau.” The amber one grunted. The lights flickered off again, leaving everypony in the dark as the spotlight shown down on Twilight.

“I’m trying to make it a word! Like ‘god-awful’, but one word…” Beau tried to defend, but the amber colt shook his head.

“It won’t catch on.” They watched her stride towards the altar. “Ugh, she walks like there’s a dumbbell attached to her left hip. Hasn’t anypony taught her anything about class?”

“She looks new to it.”

“She looks gawful! Awful! Ugh, the things you do to me Beau.”

“See? It’s catchy…”

“Beside the point! Just because she’s new doesn’t mean she has to look and act like an over-tarted hussy!” Amber snapped, and the four girls, as one, gasped.

“What did you call her!?” Dash shouted, just barely heard over Celestia’s voice. The two colts nearly jumped over the edge in fright, and glanced to the four mares staring them down. Dash zipped over, shoving the gray one back to press her snout against Amber’s. “Go on! Call her that again to my face you sleaze!”

“A sl- did you just call me a sleaze!?” Amber reared back, eyes wide. “Why- I have never been so insulted! A sleaze? Who are you to call me a sleaze!?” He nearly shouted back, taking a few steps away. Dash took a step forward after him, but started moving backwards as Beau got up, horn glowing.

“Amber, you’re not supposed to interact with the rabble. Their vulgar attitude rubs off on you.” He growled in warning while Dash tried to pull away from the magic pulling her back.

“I’ll rub whatever the hell I feel like all over you two if you insult my friend!” Dash snarled right back, and was lifted into the air by Beau’s magic. Her wings flapped to try and free herself.

“Oh, perfect, her friends.” Amber grumbled, glaring back down at the altar. “Beau, get them out of here. We need to fulfill our duty to our own friend and save him from a stupid marriage!”

“With pleasure.” Beau smirked a little, and started shaking Dash, making her squeal and yelp.

“Hey!” One of the mares shouted. Beau glanced towards the voice, but in the darkness he didn’t see the two hind legs connecting with his jaw until it was too late, launching him back behind Amber. Amber shook his head in disbelief and lit his horn, just to come face to face with Fluttershy’s glare. “You can’t treat ponies like that! It’s not nice!”

“Uh, Beau? Problem?” Amber gulped as the other three mares approached him.

Both of their horns flashed, and a protective pink wall appeared between them and the four mares. “They’re just a bunch of commoners, Amber, we’ll get them tossed out.” Beau nodded.

“I dun’ think I want my friend marryin’ some foal with friends like y’all!” Applejack shouted, kicking the barrier.

“Ugh, hot-headed commoners… well our friend deserves a mare with class and beauty, unlike the little street-urchin they pulled out of the gutter down there!” Amber shouted back.

“Oh that is it!” Beau and Amber looked up, just in time to see Pinkie Pie fall from the ceiling onto the two of them, breaking the spell. “No peeping paparazzi ponies will ruin my friend’s wedding!”

“We are not the papa- oh dear.”

“BANZAI!” Dash slammed into the pile of ponies, Applejack leaping in right after, and Fluttershy right behind her.

“What is that?” Twilight glanced up to the second balcony, unable to see through the darkness as they heard the commotion from up above.

Celestia and Blueblood stared along with her, silent. Shining Armor was out of his seat to try and get a better look, while Cadence flapped her wings to get up closer. Blueblood narrowed his eyes, squinting as he saw a few familiar flashes of magic. A very familiar bright red flash, then a very familiar dark green flash… “That,” he declared, “is nothing important. Anyways, I believe we were making up vows. Ah yes, I vow… to give you ice cream every night.”

“Neat!” Twilight beamed.

The auditorium was dead silent as the six new-comers sat still and quiet before the Blueblood patriarch.

"So." Duke Blueblood nursed his forehead with a hoof. "Do I want to know why you six decided to start a fight at my son's practice wedding?" He fixed a stern glare on the two colts and four mares cringing before him. Princess Cadence paced idly behind them, unable to contain her grin as her husband explored the second story balcony and the third story balcony for more intruders. Twilight Twinkle, Night Light, Duchess Blueblood, Rarity and Princess Celestia stood behind Duke Blueblood to watch, while Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood stood up at the altar.

"The paparazzi were trying to ruin the wedding by getting embarrassing, early pictures of the practice!" The little pink one wiggled her forelegs in the air, then glared at the two colts, all while staying remarkably well-balanced on only her hind legs.

Duke slowly turned his head to face the two whimpering colts. "Amber, Beau, have you actually joined the paparazzi?" He asked dryly. Both of them shook their heads. Duke glanced back to Pinkie Pie. "Young lady, they are not part of the paparazzi. Now why are you four here?"

"We jus' came ta watch the practice, but everythin' was locked down so we kinda made our own way in." Applejack admitted, her ever present Stetson slid down over her neck as she guiltily watched the ground.

"Sorry..." Fluttershy squeaked, eyes covered with her hooves.

"While I can appreciate your enthusiasm for the wedding, I do not appreciate an invasion of my family's privacy. You not only interrupted a crucial moment in the ceremony but you also broke a door on your way here. A castle door, may I remind you." He glared at the six of them.

"Sorry!" Fluttershy squeaked louder, and hid underneath her forelegs.

"But we had to save Twilight!" Dash insisted. "Ow!" She rubbed her side from where Applejack kicked her.

"Save her? Young lady, do you know who I am?" Duke demanded, getting silent looks from all of the mares, except...

"Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie Pie began to bounce in place. "Hokey Smokes!"

Duke Blueblood stared at the bouncing pink mare. "No, I am-"

"Toola-Roola!" Pinkie bounced forward, hopping in front of the surprised stallion. "No, wait, Derpy Hooves? Firefly! Does it begin with an 's'? What about a 'z'!?"

"What!? No! Go sit down!" Pinkie Pie dropped her flank to the floor and looked up at him expectantly, irrepressibly happy. "I am Duke Blueblood, father of Prince Blueblood, owner of the Blueblood Legacy, and the primary funder of this entire wedding and everything that follows in its wake!"

"That's silly. You don't have a wake after a wedding, you have a wake before a funeral!"

"I- wha- what!?" Duke Blueblood glared down at Pinkie.

"Congratulations on your son getting married!" Pinkie Pie stuck out a hoof to shake. Duke Blueblood's eyebrow raised, his jaw dropped, and he, for the first time in several years, was at a loss for words. He calmly took the mare's hoof and shook weakly.

"Thanks?"

"No problem!" Pinkie Pie bounced back into place and beamed.

Duke stared at her for a few seconds, and then moved to stand in front of Amber and Beau. "So, what precisely are you two doing here with binoculars?" He asked, levitating the two devices in front of them, making them gulp.

"Well, sir, you see, we were scouting for your son." Amber spoke up, tossing a glare over at the four mares.

"Scouting for my son?" Duke repeated, eyebrow raised. Celestia, Twilight's family, and all of Twilight's friends stared at the two. Amber cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Beau answered.

"Scouting the quality of his bride." The dark-gray colt answered with a controlled, methodical voice, refusing to look elsewhere.

"Scouting the quality-" Duke shook his head, "Scouting the quality of the bride? Boys, I understand your concern for your friend but none of this is your business."

"We mean no offense, Sir Blueblood, but he is our friend, so it is of some concern. We merely wish to keep an eye out for his happiness and we find his current bride to be... lacking." Amber said as lightly as he possibly could. His eyes swiveled from the four mares that had soundly trounced him, to the rest of her family as their expressions changed for the worse.

"Lacking." Duke repeated with some disbelief, a low sigh escaping him. "On a tertiary glance I can see why you'd assume so. My reasons for choosing her are sound, and I would prefer that you boys do not question my decisions."

"Or insult our friend!" Dash sniped with a low growl.

Beau and Amber both drew themselves up huffily, glared at Dash, and then nodded to Duke Blueblood. "Of course sir. We will show ourselves out." Amber nodded. Duke Blueblood nodded back, and swiveled on his hooves to face his family and the Princess.

Beau and Amber walked out through the ground door, though the moment they were out of earshot, Beau leaned over to Amber. "We're not finished, are we?"

"Not even close." Amber shook his head.

Back in the auditorium, Duke Blueblood shook his head and muttered to himself as he seated himself. "Well then, that's enough of that. Those of you who have just joined us, keep your mouths shut. Let's get on with the show." He glanced to the altar.

Everypony else stared. Rarity spoke up first. "Where's Twilight?"

The kitchen quarters were nice and quiet at this time of day. It was just after lunch, and the only ponies there were the dish-washers in the back, cleaning. Blueblood was sitting at a table, eyes hidden behind his hoof as he rested his forehead on his leg.

How could this have happened? His two best friends sneak around to spy on his soon-to-be-wife, and outright telling his father they thought his choice was wrong? Could they have been any more embarrassing? He let out a low sigh and lifted his head from his hoof.

Twilight was humming around the kitchen, a fountain glass floating in front of her as she stirred chocolate syrup into the shake. A small spray of whipped cream and a cherry topped it off, a straw was stuck in, and she slid into the seat across from him.

If there was any good to come of it, it was that everypony was so focused on them, it let him slip away to avoid strangling the both of them. Twilight following him was just coincidence.

He looked up when the glass slid over to him. Twilight smiled at him kindly. He stared at the shake, then to Twilight. "This is your idea to get away from it all?" He asked dryly, staring the shake down. "A chocolate shake in the servant's kitchen?"

"Why not? It always makes me feel better." Twilight's wide smile shrunk a little as Blueblood eyed the treat.

"It's low-class common-pony drivel! I have tasted French chocolates perfected by artisans who closely guard their secret recipes in gold-lined vaults, passed down to their children who are subsequently trained from the day they can walk to make the chocolate! A chocolate shake made from market ingredients is worth dirt to me!" He hid his eyes behind his hoof again. Twilight was silent. After a few moments of listening to dishes clinking together in the back, Blueblood lifted his hoof. Twilight was still staring at him, but she didn't look happy. "What?"

"Nothing." Twilight looked away from him to stare out at the kitchen. She set her chin on her hoof and stared around a little.

Blueblood stared down at the shake with a small sneer, then back up to Twilight. He let out a low sigh. "It's just... not to my tastes. I've been tempered by master cuisine. Not to mention a chocolate shake is not going to make me feel any less embarrassed."

"I understand." Twilight said quietly. She wasn't staring at anything in particular, he could tell.

'She loathes me.' He thought to himself in a brief panic. He calmed himself down, and took a deep breath. 'She's just being childish.' He nodded. He didn't even want to be here, he didn't even want to be married to this lower-class waif. She had no money, no class, no reason to even be in the same room as him. He could have been at home playing pool with Amber and Beau rather than crash his practice wedding to tell his father they thought Twilight was lacking.

She certainly was... she was accommodating and intelligent for sure, but other than that, she had few endearing qualities. What did their family gain from this? They spent twenty-eight million bits to marry him to some hopeful little-...

He squinted as he eyed her face. That was not a hopeful look. That was the look of a mare that was having a bad day. Most mares would be hopping around his hooves in joy when they found out they'd be marrying him, forced or not, but she was down-trodden. 'She doesn't want to marry me.' He thought to himself. 'Neither of us wants this.'

Two ponies, stuck together, forced into courtship by their parents. There was justice for you. He couldn't even feel angry at her anymore because she already looked so disappointed. It certainly wasn't his fault. He was used to high-class tastes, if they were going to make this work, she would just have to get used to that...

'The essence of companionship is understanding and compromise. Two unstoppable forces crashing together only creates friction, but when they bend and bow to let the other pass, there is not a problem to be found.' He squeezed his eyes shut, and silently cursed Camaraderie and her penmanship.

Twilight blinked when she was snapped out of her thoughts by a sucking noise, and turned her head to see Blueblood sipping at the straw in the shake. He lifted his head after a second and rolled his tongue around his teeth. Twilight looked confused now. "You didn't have to try it."

"I know." Was all Blueblood said, considering the taste for a few moments. "Twilight, we still have several hours before the wedding." Twilight nodded slowly at him, and he moved the shake to the side to not block his view. "I'd like to continue our practice, but in private."

"Why?" She looked even more confused, and he rolled his eyes.

"I want to show you how a noble lady should move, so you don't embarrass the both of us in front of all of Canterlot." He stood up, and pushed the chair back in under the table.

"Embarrass us? How will me moving, like, well, me embarrass us?" She asked with an uncertain look as he walked around the table and helped her out of her chair.

"I know the organizer said to sway a little, but to be frank, you walk like you have a dumbbell attached to your left hip. I have observed many a mare in my life and can tell you what a graceful pony looks like in motion, so let's secure a guest room to practice." He nodded to her, ushering her towards the door. He stopped just before he stepped through, and glanced back at the table.

The shake hovered over to him, and he followed Twilight upstairs while sipping from the straw.

"Goodness gracious, would you look at all of these ponies?" Rarity whispered. Applejack could barely hear her over the voices filling the auditorium. She felt so strange, standing up in front of all of these ponies. There were thousands of them...

The floor seats were obviously where a majority of the ponies sat, a number totaling in who-knew-how-many. She lost count of the rows when there weren't ponies sitting in them, now all she could see were eyes. So many eyes. Not looking at her but just there. How had it been so easy the first time?

Oh right. Shining Armor and Cadence's marriage had been a happy one.

Still, each and every one of them, she knew was probably getting as aggravated as she was. They were late. They were over half an hour late, and ponies were getting edgy. They'd even pushed the bridesmaids and groomsmen out early to keep things moving along. She was worried the crowd was either going to start walking out or storming the stage if this went on any longer.

Applejack took in a deep breath, and let it out as she glanced to the crowd. If only she could just walk on out of here, get away from all these ponies and roll in a field somewhere...

She could only imagine how Fluttershy felt right at the front of the line, much less how Twilight would feel actually being in the spotlight when this whole shindig went down. Speaking of Twilight...

"Any sign of her?" Dash whispered behind her. Applejack turned to see Spike racing up to the girls, wearing his tiny tuxedo and bow-tie, and panting and shaking his head.

"No! She's not at any of her usual places, she's not back home, the air docks haven't seen her, the gate guards haven't seen her, not even the castle guards know where she is!" He said between deep breaths.

"And Blueblood?" Rarity asked, her worry more sarcastic than anything, but he had disappeared with Twilight. Wherever he went, he probably knew where Twilight had gone as well.

"Up in smoke for all I know!" Spike raised his claws up in a shrug.

"There ain't been any luck from the Duke either, it looks like." Applejack muttered, watching the doorway as Duke Blueblood stormed down the aisle. The five girls and the small dragon watched him come to the front row, and whisper heatedly with Twilight Twinkle. The latter frowned in increasing worry, and Shining Armor and Cadence joined in on the whispering almost immediately. Duchess Blueblood sat on the opposite side of Cadence, staring up at the stage with a dull, bored look, a fan magically flapping itself to cool her off.

Applejack looked towards the altar. Princess Celestia stood calmly, an unreadable expression on her flawless face, hooves clasped over the altar as she seemed to meditate. Across from her, the wedding organizer was definitely panicking. He was checking the orchestra standing behind the ring-bearer, a tiny, cream-colored unicorn with blonde hair in a black suit, going over their sheet music erratically, almost falling over himself trying to keep himself busy.

She couldn't blame him. A twenty-eight million wedding couldn't happen without the bride and the groom. Oof, just thinking about having to refund that made Applejack's wallet hurt.

"C'mon Twi, where the hay are you?" Dash whispered behind Applejack.

The noise started to die down, and the five mares immediately looked towards the aisle. Every pony in the audience clammed up as Prince Blueblood proudly strode his way towards the platform. He climbed the stairs with masculine grace without even glancing at his father and mother. He stood in front of the tiny ring-bearer, and continued to smile, pleased with himself.

Duke Blueblood looked unhappily confused by his son's sudden appearance, while Duchess Blueblood stayed mesmerized by the wall behind the stage.

"Hey!" Dash barked suddenly. Blueblood opened his eyes to stare at the mare. "Where's Twilight!?" The entire room was completely quiet now, and he blinked incredulously at the mare.

"She's the bride." He whispered harshly at her. "Where else would she be?" His eyes shot to the now shut doors. Dash didn't seem pleased by the answer but stayed quiet.

Applejack wasn't sure what the blonde foal meant, but she hoped that he at least knew where she was. She calmed herself down and watched Spike run down the stairs to wiggle into the open seat by the aisle. Night Light would go between him and Twilight Twinkle.

The wedding organizer was nearly hopping in delight, and quickly ran offstage to the back. Celestia unclasped her hooves and opened her eyes, took in a short breath, then glanced to Blueblood. Blueblood nodded to her and stood still, posing with a dashing smile as cameras clicked in the audience, capturing him in his moment.

'Prima donna.' Applejack shook her head.

The auditorium dimmed suddenly, making Applejack glance up. Row by row, the lights were going off, bringing darkness to the stage. The last row of lights went off, the only light source being over the orchestra on-stage. Applejack put on a smile, and the orchestra started on a low note.

It built slowly, rising in volume and force, until the whole auditorium felt like they were surrounded by the entire orchestra at once, and they stopped just as suddenly as they started. Another light broke through the darkness from the entrance, and a spotlight turned on from the ceiling. Twilight Sparkle in full dress, veil over her face and father by her side, stood at the doorway. No flower fillies came out to throw flower petals all over the middle aisle, and Applejack briefly wondered if, after all this money was thrown around, they'd forgotten something until Twilight took her first step.

Roses and short grass blossomed around her hoof, and the entire orchestra started up with an enhanced rendition of 'Here Comes the Bride', a powerful song that vibrated Applejack's teeth as she watched Twilight march up the aisle, snow-white roses blooming in her wake with each hoofstep.

The entire crowd was respectfully silent as they watched her, and Applejack couldn't help but notice a little sway in her friend's rear. A subtle, almost mesmerizing move that she'd only seen Rarity try to pull off.

"She's looking marvelous." Rarity hissed softly in front of her, and Applejack could only smirk in agreement. She didn't see the two colts anywhere in the auditorium, but she could imagine their jaws on the floor as they watched her move. Twilight climbed the stairs to the stage with her father, but she stopped briefly to nick one of the white roses out of the floor.

She came up onto the stage, the spotlight now revealing the altar, Celestia, and Blueblood as well, then two more stage-lights went on to reveal the bridesmaids and the ring-bearer to the sides. "Night Light, will you give your daughter to Prince Blueblood?" Celestia asked, her voice unenhanced.

Night Light bowed to the three of them, and slowly backed his way off stage into his seat.

Twilight let the rose in her mouth go as Blueblood's magic took it, and it levitated above her head and carefully knotted itself around the wreath she wore, sticking out just behind her ear nicely. "Oh, good show." Duchess Blueblood whispered from her seat, and the audience applauded the maneuver politely as Blueblood smiled even more proudly.

Applejack couldn't see Twilight's face, but she bet she was redder than a tomato.

Celestia's horn flashed almost without notice in the bright light, and the orchestra died down. Then, the Princess of Equestria spoke. "Fillies and Gentlecolts, friends and family, those of you have come to see the joining of these two ponies before us today, I welcome you."

Celestia turned her head slowly to observe the crowd, and then focused a proud smile on Twilight. "Time and time again, I have headed weddings much like this. I have witnessed thousands of ponies vow to each other eternal commitment and love, some who I knew personally, some who I did not." She paused, and slowly turned her head from Twilight to Blueblood. "But it is a rare honor that I wed a pony I have helped raise from a small child, and today, it is a first that I wed two ponies who I have helped raise from their early days."

At the front of the altar, Twilight felt a little surprised as she watched the Princesses' loving smile. She never knew just how good her mentor was at acting. She knew just as well as both families did that this was all an inconveniently, impersonally arranged marriage that neither the bride nor the groom appreciated, yet as far as the crowd knew, the bride and the groom truly were in love.

"I don't know a better way to express my gratitude to the bride, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the groom, Prince Blueblood, for giving me the chance to bring them together than to do just that. Both born with great magic, strength, nobility, and intelligence, together, as one, I know they will go out to the world and change it for the better, for the wiser." Another applause and Twilight looked from Celestia to Blueblood. So far, so good. Nothing awful had happened yet. She could still feel her tongue. She'd be able to speak up. With Celestia's help, she wouldn't even have to yell.

Blueblood looked back at her, still wearing the proud, audience-drawing grin, and the two gave each other a hardly noticed nod.

"Prince Blueblood, would you care to read your vows?" Princess Celestia asked the colt, another flash of magic going by without notice to enhance his voice and to present him with a rolled up scroll of his vows. The vows his family wrote for him. At least this would be easy.

Prince Blueblood cleared his throat, and opened the scroll to read it. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, it is my hope that, together, we do great things for the future far and wide across Equestria. As your husband, I vow to bring you happiness, peace of mind, wealth, and the knowledge that I will stand by your side for the rest of our lives. I have lived long and learned much, but it is only today I feel my life is truly beginning."

The audience all but melted as he finished off with a flourish, rolling the scroll up gently and levitating it back over to Celestia. There were small cheers and 'aaw's from the crowd, though Twilight, all of her friends, her family, Blueblood's friends and family all knew it was Duke Blueblood's words, not Prince Blueblood's. Twilight suspected the odd sound behind her was Rarity doing her absolute best to not snort with laughter.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, would you care to read yours?" Celestia presented her with her with the vows her family had written for her, and Twilight accepted them graciously. Celestia's horn flashed again, and Twilight felt a slight tickle in her throat as she looked to Prince Blueblood and unrolled the scroll.

"Prince Blueblood," she glanced to the scroll and stopped.

'Prince Blueblood, go suck a baboon's tit.'

She stared at it for a few uncomprehending moments, silence dominating the auditorium as she read it again and again. Oh dear.

She rolled up the scroll and tossed it behind her, and took in a deep breath. Okay. Hard way it was then. "Prince Blueblood, though I feel I don't know you that well, I feel... I feel a great potential deep within you. You have the capacity to be a magnificent colt, and ever since we first met, I feel touched that you've shown this amazing side of you to me again and again. I can't wait to see what all there is of you, though I also hope that you save a few mysteries for me for our old age."

Twilight chewed her lower lip as she watched his face. He looked surprised, his jaw hanging as he stared at her, and she blushed harder beneath her veil. The applause started slowly at first, the crowd unsure of her vows at first, but as more ponies joined in, they grew louder and louder, until there were a few cheers mixed in. Twilight let out a low breath.

Blueblood leaned in. "'Caesar's Trials of the Love God'!?" He whispered in amusement.

"Best wedding I've ever read." Twilight whispered back with a shrug of her shoulders. Blueblood let out a soft laugh and stood back straight as the tiny colt behind him walked forward.

Twilight watched the young colt - immediately seeing the familial similarities - carry a cushion bearing two golden rings on it, both studded with small, round diamonds with smaller precious gems between each open space. Blueblood lifted both rings in the air between them, and Twilight bowed her head. She watched the ring slide down the length of her horn and settle at the base, and despite the stress of the day, did feel a little tingling warmth from just wearing it.

Blueblood slid his ring down his horn, and the ring-bearer trotted down the stairs to take a seat by Duchess. Celestia spread her magnificent wings when the two ponies properly had their rings on, and drew herself up. "Do you, Prince Blueblood, take Princess Twilight Sparkle to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Blueblood answered without hesitation. Twilight gulped as Princess Celestia looked to her.

"And do you, Princess Twilight Sparkle take Prince Blueblood to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

There it was, the ultimatum. A yes or no question that could change her life. She could say yes, conform to the family and the city, and have the most uncomfortable, unexpected wedding of the century, or say no, and get run out of town and ridiculed, then put her parents in debt. Even if she preferred her peaceful life in the Ponyville library, oblivious to love, nobility, and politics, she knew the answer before she'd even first seen the auditorium.

"I do." She answered immediately.

"Then you may now KISS the bride!" Celestia announced loudly.

Twilight felt the veil lift off her face, and she sucked in a nervous breath as she took a step forward. Her first kiss with a colt. Her mouth felt dry as Blueblood leaned forward, and they pressed their lips together.

Their lips connected, but neither pressed their tongue in. It was still oddly warm. The excitement of the ceremony, the emotion running through everypony around them, the strange comfort she found in the colt that shared her exact feelings on the whole thing, it wasn't as revolting as she thought it would be.

They broke the kiss, and the crowd went wild. Hooves stomped the floor, cheers came from every level and every side of the room, flowers were tossed to the stage, and the light began to turn on. Twilight turned to look with Blueblood. Everypony in the audience looked so happy, even her brother stomped the floor politely, though his eyes were burning as he stared at Blueblood.

Twilight and Blueblood trot down the stairs, followed by the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, sprinting towards the door leading out, away from the pony-filled auditorium, amid cheers and flowers and who the hay was throwing rice!?

Guards stood along the hallways, guiding the fleeing couple and the procession of wedding goers to the castle gardens. Twilight had no doubt there would be a number of decorations and delicious foods to balance out the rest of the bits put into the wedding, and was looking forward to getting out into the cool air.

She and Blueblood ran through an intersecting hallway, unaware of the caterers suddenly blocking off the procession from following them by rushing through the opposite hallways, and the two turned a corner to find themselves nearly running into Duke Blueblood.

"Ah, excellent, the newlyweds have arrived." He spoke with a strangely thoughtful smile. "Come, we have a little business to attend to and then we can eat and dance for the rest of the night." He opened a nearby door to a stairwell and entered. "Come now, don't make me wait." He ordered.

Twilight and Blueblood stared after him, and then glanced to each other. Blueblood shrugged his shoulders, and hesitantly complied. Twilight followed. "Father, what do you mean by 'business'? We're married, aren't we? We should be out for the first dance, opening wedding gifts!"

"Prince Blueblood now is not the time to argue with me. Quickly now, the sooner we get this over with..." Duke called from the top of the stairs, opening another door to the second story. Twilight and Blueblood both frowned as they followed him through.

"Get what over with, father?" Blueblood called ahead. "There are going to be news ponies and cameras in the garden! They'll want pictures and statements! We can't spread the news if we're not there!" Duke Blueblood opened another door and walked in. "Father!" Blueblood shouted in exasperation.

Twilight looked around as they walked to the door, after her new step-father. She had never been down this particular wing of the castle. It looked just as formal as the rest of the castle, but a lot more sterile. Empty. The room they stepped into was even more alien to her. It had a desk, a chair behind the desk, and around a dozen more chairs in front of it. This was an office!

Duke Blueblood sat back in a comfortable chair in front of the desk, smiling as his son and Twilight in a strange way. "Blueblood, how many times have I told you to not worry? I know precisely what I'm doing, and I have never steered you wrong, have I?"

"I suppose." Blueblood muttered after a moment of thought. He slumped in a chair before the desk, Twilight sitting in one next to him.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked, staring at the oaken desk in front of them. She was confused, and she had to admit, a bit paranoid.

"Nothing bad, nothing bad at all. A simple distribution of your dowry is all. We might as well get this out of the way, then go mingle, right? Saves us the trip, not to mention the bore!" Duke Blueblood was oddly energetic, Twilight noted. Maybe it was just them coming off of the wedding, but he seemed so reserved before.

"I guess." Twilight agreed.

"- an honest disgrace to my job and my dignity!" Came a voice from the hallway. "I plan the wedding of the century in the span of five days and twice we're going to be late!" The wedding organizer suddenly bustled in, stacks of papers and notebooks slamming onto the table as he went around the desk and sat down.

"We assure you, it won't take but a moment." Duchess Blueblood said with a coy smile as she walked inside, sliding into a seat next to her husband while the youngest of the Bluebloods climbed into the seat next to hers. Twilight watched her father, mother, Shining Armor, Cadence, and Spike walk in, equally confused, and settle into the chairs around Twilight. Duke's horn glowed, and the door shut.

"I don't care if it takes thirty minutes or thirty seconds, we're spitting in the face of tradition! 'Send the bridesmaids and groomsmen out early', fah! I'd expect the Bluebloods to be proud defenders of tradition." The organizer griped as he pulled a particularly thin stack of notes out of the paper pile and set them down. "Holding the dowry before the wedding party? Were you not paying me so well, I'd have trampled my mother's grave before I agreed to such heresy!"

All ponies present stared at the slightly unhinged wedding organizer with growing worry, all except Duke Blueblood. "Then get it over with man! I'll hear your complaints later when I'm not forced to."

The organizer continued to mumble some unpleasant things, then checked the top paper. "Ahem. By marriage law, you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and your family are being paid a hefty dowry to cover your hoof in marriage, the land you own, and your future exploits." He nodded to the Sparkle family, who didn't move a muscle as he pulled out the next sheet of paper. "As well as, by royal tradition," he almost spat the word, "you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, shall inherit the Blueblood's land and assets should the current owners and your husband pass away."

Twilight glanced to the Blueblood family, and none but Prince Blueblood seemed particularly perturbed by the information.

The organizer pulled out the next sheet of paper. "Prince Blueblood, this goes to you as well. Should the current owners of the Sparkle assets pass away, and then their son, and then their oldest daughter, and then Twilight Sparkle pass away as well, your family will gain her family's land and money."

Twilight winced at the thought, and could feel her brother's hoof gently nudge hers.

The organizer turned over the next piece of paper. "From the lead council of the Canterlot Department of Agriculture and Animal Growth, the head desk of the Canterlot Explorer's Noble Society, from the captain of the Canterlot Foreign Expedition Guild, and from the chairman of the Canterlot Architecture and Builder's Association, you, Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle Blueblood have been appointed by the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society to be the-..." He froze, mouth hanging open. His jaw dropped bonelessly, and he fluttered his eyelids rapidly. Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight watched Duke Blueblood lean forward. "Oh." The organizer gulped audibly, and continued. "To be the masters and lords of the newly formed kingdom of Gelderlanden."

Every pony in the room sat, stunned, jaws open, eyes wide. Everypony but Duchess and Duke Blueblood, who shared very similar smiles, both dripping with smug triumph. "Ex-excuse me?" Night Light spoke up, straightening himself in his chair. "Did you say 'masters and lords' of a newly formed kingdom?"

"If you want to be technical, they'd be king and queen there, but yes." The organizer seemed equally surprised as he reread the paper. "Ahem. 'Dear Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle, first and foremost, congratulations on your marriage, all of us wish you the best of luck in your future together. It has come to our attention that the both of you are wise, intelligent ponies with immense power and charisma as befitting all royalty in Equestria, and we have the perfect opportunity for the both of you to celebrate your joining. We are well aware that neither of you have greater duties to Canterlot than what we are willing to offer: in the North-West, a kingdom has been ordered and built to accommodate a pair of great rulers and many subjects to guard, explore, and experiment with we have deemed 'The Border'. A massive wall of magical power created by our princesses to guard Equestria against the land just beyond it, an immense, dangerous world of chaotic magic where our typical magic is rendered useless against the creatures beyond. Teams of explorers, scientists, and body-guards are set to enter The Border and learn everything they can by exploring it to benefit Equestria's expansion into it. All they are missing are a pair of great leaders. We plead to you, Prince Blueblood and Princess Twilight Sparkle, to lend your talents to our efforts to protect and strengthen Equestria, by leading the ponies of Gelderlanden to a safe, productive future.' From the Office of Canterlot's Royal Traditions Society."

Everypony turned their head to face Twilight and Blueblood, who glanced to each other with wide-eyed looks. Twilight was the first to break the sudden silence. "Well, I-I don't-"

"It's rather sudden, we didn't know-" Blueblood added, stumbling over his words in his haste.

"I have a family and friends and-"

"I-I don't know if I can run a kingdom-"

"Of course they'll accept." Duke Blueblood spoke over both of the babbling ponies, grabbing everypony else's attention. He smiled a broad smile, and lounged in his chair comfortably. "My son and daughter-in-law are the perfect candidates. We will accept any chance to bring Equestria to greater heights."

"Father I-" Blueblood tried to speak, but Duke shot him a sharp look.

"Blueblood, this is an excellent opportunity for you and your new wife. Don't look at it as inheriting a kingdom, look at it as an opportunity to put the skills you've learned in your life to good use." He then shrugged. "For your country!"

Blueblood sat back in resentful silence as Twilight turned to face her family. "I don't know..." She whispered.

"Well, Twilight..." Her mother spoke up, and gulped. "It is an opportunity..."

"Mother!" Shining Armor spoke up. "She's barely out of school! She's still being mentored! You can't- she's still too-"

"Shining Armor." Twilight Twinkle interrupted him promptly. "This is not your decision to make. Twilight, we trust you to know the right choice, but I do think this might be something to consider."

"What if going there is the wrong choice!?" Shining Armor demanded.

"Then your father and I will have both made a stupid decision for her."

Twilight looked into both her parents' eyes, then to Shining Armor. He was shaking his head rapidly, but Cadence looked... distant. "Armor, sweetie?" She looked up to her husband, and Shining Armor stopped. "How good is your teleportation?"

"I can teleport across Equestria, you know that..." He answered curiously.

"Twilight, I think you should do it." Cadence turned back to her little sister, and smiled warmly.

"What!?" Shining Armor stared down at Cadence incredulously. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!"

"Armor, sweetie, if Twilight needs us, we can both be there in the blink of an eye, regardless of what we're doing. She won't be alone." Cadence beamed at Twilight.

Twilight felt a little warmth in the pit of her stomach, and with her family supporting her, she was feeling more and more sure, but there was still one more to ask... She stared straight down at Spike, who was scratching his chin.

"Hey, daddy-o." Spike glanced past Twilight at Blueblood. Blueblood blinked curiously.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Will I get my own room?" He planted his hands on his hips. Twilight and Blueblood both looked to each other, then back to him.

"I suppose." Twilight answered with a shrug. Kingdoms usually came with castles, and castles meant lots of room...

"Sounds good to me!" Spike nodded with a growing smile.

Twilight nodded back, and looked back up to the wedding organizer. "I'm in."

"I guess I am too." Blueblood sighed.

"Well alright then. Congratulations." The organizer set his papers back on his taller stack. "I'll be sure to turn in the paperwork for this ASAP. Good luck to the both of you." He stood, as did every other pony.

"Yeah..." Blueblood groaned. "I think we'll need it."

For those of you who are noticing the many parallels to Growing Pains already, I apologize. Twilight will not grow superpowers.

Fluttershy will.

Gelderlanden

"Good morning Prince and Princess Blueblood! It is such an honor for you to join us. I can't begin to tell you how pleased we are that you accepted our offer." The elderly mare gushed in front of the newly wed couple, almost bouncing on her hooves as she guided them around the bustling skydock.

The head of the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society was all pluck, reminding Twilight of an aged up version of Pinkie Pie, except more brown than pink. "Yes, it's quite-" Twilight stifled a yawn, her new husband failing in that regard, "- quite an honor. Thank you for the offer."

"Oh it's no trouble! No trouble at all!" The mare led them both to a gorgeous carriage with the Society's full name emblazoned on the sides and the back. She opened the door and beamed behind her half-moon spectacles as Twilight and Blueblood walked inside and slumped on the seats. "I'll be with you in just a moment! I have a few more things to prepare!" She tittered and closed the door, leaving the couple alone.

Blueblood glared at the wall for several seconds, then slowly closed his eyes. Twilight couldn't blame him. She was about to do the same when there was a loud thump on the top of the carriage, waking Blueblood up with a start. "... Ugh." He groaned loudly. "Whatever daft fool invented this 'six in the morning' needs to be strung up in the dungeons by their horn."

"You'll have to take that one up with Princess Celestia." Twilight murmured, curling up in her seat and closing her eyes.

"No no, Twilight?" Twilight opened her eyes blearily, and glanced up to Blueblood. He used his hooves to help her sit back up. "Dignify yourself. Royals don't just curl up anywhere for a nap. If you must rest, at least do it against me, others will find it 'cute'." He wiggled a hoof in the air as he said the last word.

Were it even two hours later, Twilight would have been willing to argue the point with him, but right now Twilight was in no mood to confront him on it. He offered her a broad, white shoulder, and Twilight rest her head against it gratefully. She had to hide her embarrassment as she did. She had never slept against somepony else, not even her own best friends, so it felt so strangely intimate with a colt she barely knew and had been instructed to despise.

She heard the door to the carriage open. "Alright, preparations are finished and-" Twilight cracked open an eye when she heard their guide pause. The old mare was beaming at the two with a heartwarmed smile. "Oh don't wake up on my account, I'll be nice and quiet." She climbed into the carriage and slid into the seat opposite of them.

Blueblood gently wiggled his shoulder, and Twilight nodded her head as she roused herself. "With respect to my wife's sleeping habits, I think you should fill us both in on what to expect." Blueblood lifted a hoof and wrapped it around Twilight's neck.

Twilight blinked and glanced to Blueblood. He wasn't looking at her, but she understood. Even if it felt so underhoofed to pretend, she leaned back against him and focused her eyes on the mare sitting opposite of them.

The carriage rocked, and a weightlessness surrounded them. They were on their way.

"Of course, of course my good prince! Let's not keep you waiting." The mare opened up a bag resting on her side and pulled out a nice, large stack of papers. "Ahem, my name is Noble Guard, head of the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society. I have been scouting for potential young candidates to fulfill this position, and was pleasantly surprised to find two of our brightest getting married."

"Of course. How coincidental." Blueblood nodded his head slowly. Twilight pursed her lips, but kept quiet.

Noble continued to smile as she eyed the pages, not noticing the bite of sarcasm in Blueblood's voice. "Gelderlanden has been in the works for around ten years now, but only recently have we pushed the project forward to fruition. It all started when our explorers happened across 'The Border' as it's being called, a point where Equestria meets a strange land where magic is as wild and crazy as the dangerous beasts within. Princess Celestia herself came to inspect it, and deemed it too dangerous to leave alone, so she created the magical barrier keeping our lands separate."

"And then you decided it would be a great place to put up a city." Blueblood whispered, leaving only Twilight to hear it. Maybe it was because of how early it was, but Twilight let out a snicker.

"The decision didn't come to us until around three years ago, when somepony proposed that, rather than an expedition camp, an entire city dedicated to its exploration should be set up. A self-sustaining city that would be full of explorers and warriors to regularly set hoof beyond The Border, that would be ruled and led by two powerful lords. In this manner, we would have a quick, easy way to expand beyond The Border when a way to tame its wild magic is found."

"So what's beyond 'The Border' that is so valuable for us to dedicate an entire kingdom right next to it?" Twilight spoke up.

Noble beamed as she pulled out several specific pages and let Twilight and Blueblood see them. "What few things our explorers have turned up have tickled the interest of not only our explorer's league, but have gotten the attention of various farmers' guilds, jewelers, processing plants, and manufacturers." The first piece of paper had a picture of some dirt, with various descriptions of its quality that Twilight didn't understand. "The soil there is some of the most fertile soil we have ever seen, giving bloom to things like this!"

The next page flipped over, and Twilight and Blueblood both shared a shocked look. "Is that an orange tree!?" Blueblood asked incredulously. Judging by the tiny, pony-shaped dot standing next to the trunk, in a forest of similar trunks, the trees must have been as tall and thick as most redwoods, while an orange nearly as big as the pony sat on the pony's other side.

"Precisely! That's not the only thing they'd found of course, a brand of raw metal that our explorers found laying everywhere in caves across the region was dug up. They had to use diamonds to even chip it, and the experimental devices they created from it were sharp enough to slice through modern Cantorium!" The two royal unicorns across from her flipped through the pages and found a picture of a pony wielding a small knife made of an almost black metal, carving up a sheet of Cantorium like wet tissue paper.

"This is ridiculous! Why haven't we heard about this before!?" Blueblood asked, floating a paper to Twilight to read. It mentioned the cost of the metal in its raw form, and Twilight felt her head spin a little.

They both looked up when Noble gave a nervous laugh. "Well... you see, I wasn't lying when I said the land beyond The Border was dangerous..." Several more papers floated over to them, but they had no information, only pictures.

Ponies getting cut out of thorny vines that reached for more prey, trying to drag the ponies into a fleshy maw in the middle. Bees bigger than the ponies themselves, with razor-sharp talons and pincers for mouths being barely held off by a poorly-held barrier spell. One picture was a pony hiding behind a rock, clearly terrified as a pack of wolves with four-sectioned mouths and dozens of tentacle-like tongues walked nearly. And the last picture...

"Agh! Oh, what is that!?" Blueblood turned his head away to not stare, but Twilight only leaned in closer.

"Is that a leg or is that a tongue?" Twilight asked with ever increasing horror as the picture dawned on her.

"Actually, according to one of the biologists on the trip, that's its penis." Noble winced, and Twilight turned a little blue.

"What is it doing waving it around like that!?"

"See that weird, furry thing attached to its side?" Noble turned the picture so they could both look.

"You mean that?"

"Yes. It's believed that is the female of the species, attempting to drain the male of its internal organs, and the male is making a desperate attempt at mating for the future of its species. See, if you look in this next picture, he's managed to puncture the female's hide and deposit what looks like several gallons of-"

Twilight interrupted her with a small, terrified scream, and tossed the picture away, trembling in terror while Blueblood's stomach made some uncomfortable gurgling noises.

"And that's not even getting to the diseases contracted on the trip, the parasites our explorers picked up, and not to mention the, well... the magic of the place." Noble winced as the two ponies stared at her with uncomprehending horror. "It seems as if the place has its own version of magic. We're not sure if it can cast it at will, or if it's random, but unicorns are almost ineffective there since trying to cast a simple levitation spell can backfire and leave the unicorn firmly grounded, unable to walk, or even send all of their supplies flying off into the sky. Never mind the horrors a teleportation spell can entail."

Noble levitated a picture over to the two of them, and though Twilight was scared to look, she forced herself. "This is an example of the randomness of the magic there. The male in the picture you see fighting the Gigantosaur was reportedly eating a simple dinner roll when suddenly... that happened." The two stared at the picture of the eighty-foot tall pony wrestling a massive reptile to the ground. The picture had been taken on the edge of a cliff, while the pony fought in the vast jungle below. "Then, forty minutes later, this happened." A picture of the same pony, this time sitting on top of another pony's head, posing for a picture while pretending to wrestle a pony's ear. "When he was brought back through The Border the unicorn doctors managed to get him back to normal, but he was one of the lucky cases. There have been reports of ponies turning into water, gathered up, restored to normal, but missing bits and pieces, or ponies finding their tongues turning into fire... it's a lot of strange, ugly stuff, but beyond it is wealth and materials that can only be dreamed of."

Twilight and Blueblood both nodded bleakly as Noble put the pictures away. "And you expect us to be right there next to it?" Blueblood asked in angered sarcasm.

"Well, yes, but The Border wall can only let ponies in and out. The beasts and magic beyond it can't get into Equestria without a pony's help." Noble nodded with a serious expression. "You would be perfectly safe in your castle right next to the wall, the explorers beyond it would be the ones in danger. That said, we have professionals who have been planning how to handle it for years, and many precautions will be taken, and only experts would be allowed through."

"I suppose." Twilight agreed, and glanced to Blueblood. He was working his jaw intently, and glanced out the window at the land below.

"We'll see when we get there. For now, enough of this... Border talk." He groaned, rubbing his forehead. Twilight silently agreed.

Twilight had not told anypony about Gelderlanden. Partly out of shock, partly out of disbelief. She assumed it was a prank, or they really had just inherited some tiny shack out in the wilderness that once served as an expedition checkpoint with a fancy name.

She had settled in to the after-wedding party last night with great unease. The uncertainty of the future made her stomach quiver, and it was with great force that she smiled and laughed all last night with her equally uneasy friends.

'What's going to happen now?' Was the question of the evening. Twilight couldn't be with them all the time to discuss it since she was expected to, of course, be with her new husband, but Twilight had no honest answer. Were they expected to stay together, or could they be apart? Would she have to move away, to Canterlot, away from her friends? What would she be expected of? Would she have to go mingle at big fancy parties? Would she gain any duties as a newly minted Blueblood?

Now that Gelderlanden was going to be a part of the picture, the future just got more unpleasant. She was going to be in a castle by the border of a land full of danger, even further from her friends than before, doing who knew what surrounded by ponies she didn't know and that, by the sounds of it, would disappear daily beyond The Border, and possibly not return...

She shivered at the thought of the future. To her surprise, the white leg around her body squeezed comfortingly. She didn't look up to see his face, she just let out a soft sigh. This morning had been even stranger. The Blueblood Mansion was vast and inviting but so terribly empty. Her whole family had been invited to stay, and once the doors were shut and the windows were blinded, the camaraderie dropped almost instantly. Duke and Duchess Blueblood shared small talk with her own family, while Prince Blueblood had invited her upstairs. They did not speak much. They shared a single glass of wine, toasting to their loveless marriage, and then showed her to her room.

Despite the warm, comfortable bed, Twilight got no sleep. Even worse was waking up so early to go see their new kingdom. She and Blueblood did not speak over breakfast, nor on the way to the sky docks, but she figured that may have been out of tiredness.

Now? Now he was the only thing keeping her from feeling utterly alone up here. She hoped this wouldn't be a constant thing...

"Ah, we're here!" Noble Guard announced excitedly, and Twilight sat up straight as Blueblood turned to take a look. Twilight stared out the window with them at Gelderlanden.

The blue, morning sky was disrupted by a massive, semi-transparent wall of gold that created a dome the size of a quarter of Equestria itself. It was so tall that Twilight could barely see over it through the window, and too thick to see beyond.

There, only half a mile away from the foot of the great magical wall Celestia had erected, was the city. It was by no means huge. In fact, it was smaller than all of Ponyville, but it was still a city with a nice-sized, comfortable looking castle, surrounded by dozens and dozens of stone buildings, which in turn were surrounded by a massive stone wall.

All around the city were rolling acres of flat grassland, just begging to be tilled and toiled upon by experienced hooves, and the blue skies were gathering plenty of clouds that would need to be stamped out. It was a place of beauty, the sort of thing Twilight recalled from a story book.

"Prince Blueblood, Princess Twilight, may I introduce you to your new kingdom: Gelderlanden, the first hoof into The Border." Noble smiled proudly as the carriage began to lower.

Without any sky docks, the carriage was forced to land at the south-eastern gate of the city, where a big set of wooden doors stood to keep the wildlife out. A pair of double-doors built into the giant ones were open though, letting ponies wander in and out with carts. All of them workers, all of them carrying supplies.

"Gelderlanden has already attracted quite a few interested investors, including builders, explorers, and ponies suited to more modest jobs." Noble started as she walked towards the gates, Twilight and Blueblood just behind her. "We aren't completely filled out yet though, the city can hold some four-hundred ponies during peaceful times, but far less than half have joined up. We have plenty of explorers and artisans, but no restaurants, no weather ponies, very few farmers, and one or two-clothes makers, on top of everything else we need, but help wanted posters have been set up all over Equestria to get the best of the best."

Gelderlanden, from the ground, was actually quite cozy. As they walked through the smaller doors, worker ponies standing aside and offering bows to the entering royalty, Twilight's eyes travelled everywhere. Trees and grass sprung up where there weren't buildings and paved streets, the tall walls provided a sheltered sense of security, the small, efficient houses gave a modest sense of homeliness, and Twilight could only imagine how pleasant it'd be once it was full of ponies working, walking, and socializing.

"It's very nice." Twilight said with an honest smile.

"It's a little uncivilized." Blueblood frowned as he looked around, then tapped his hoof against the stone path. "These stones aren't even evenly cut, only paved."

"They aren't so bad." Twilight spoke up, taking a few steps forward to feel the stonework beneath her hooves. "At least they have stone here. Back in Ponyville, there weren't any hard-ground paths like these." She glanced over to Blueblood, meeting his stunned look.

"None?" He asked. Twilight shook her head. "None at all?"

"Nope." Twilight nodded.

"Then..." Blueblood held a hoof up to his chin, a puzzled look on his face. Twilight cocked her head at him. "What... what did everypony walk on?" He finished with a totally lost look.

"..." Twilight blinked her big eyes at him. "The dirt?"

Her husband cringed away from the word, and he set his hoof back down thankfully on the stone road. "How does a pony walk on the dirt without getting their hooves dirty?" He asked in a completely honest tone. Twilight's ears lowered slowly. He was serious.

"Well, you don't. When you get to the place you want to be, you just wipe your hooves off on the welcome mat like this." She started scraping her hooves against the stone, but Blueblood rushed over and stopped her with a yelp.

"Don't do that! You'll chip and scrape your hooves!" He whispered urgently, lifting one of her hooves to inspect it closely.

Twilight gave him an odd look. "Why does it matter? They're just hooves. I won't get hurt, and they'll grow back." She shrugged, and he gave her a disbelieving look.

"Sweet Celestia, Twilight, clean hooves are the difference between dirty, low-class farm folk and the rich, clean high-class entrepreneur!" He shook his head at her, as if he was speaking to a child.

Was he really being this difficult about hooves? "One of my best friends is a farmer and an entrepreneur. Most of the time she's positively filthy with dirt and sweat but she's still a great pony." His frightened look told her all she needed to know. "Ugh, fine. Noble, can we get back to the tour?" She glanced to the old pony.

"Of course, Princess Blueblood. Right this way." She started walking towards the castle, Twilight following behind her. She glanced behind herself and saw Blueblood staring into space, so she walked over and nudged him to get him following.

Blueblood got over his hang-up by the time they reached the castle, and even tuned in to listen as Noble talked. "- took only forty unicorn architects and twelve pegasi to help in corrections. It has a full staff quarters around the base level, but the staircase right through the entrance takes you to your quarters. Laundry chutes, service bells, two master bedrooms, four guest bedrooms, and all the furniture to make it a comfortable home for you, your majesty." Noble was smiling as Twilight actually listened to the details that went into it, and eyed the sturdy wall of the castle.

Twilight blushed at the reverent title, and suppressed the urge to correct the mare. She technically was a 'majesty' now, as odd as that felt to know. "It sounds really nice, I can't wait to take a closer look at everything."

"Well you'll have your chance right about now." Noble grinned as they came to a big pair of double-doors in the castle. It wasn't as big as the doors to the city wall, but even without proper decorations or inscriptions or even handles it was showy. At least Twilight thought so.

"Twilight." Blueblood glanced down to his wife as they approached the doors. Noble knocked, and the doors opened. "What would you say to a statue in the road in front of the door?" He asked, looking up in thought.

"A statue of what?" Twilight cocked her ear towards Blueblood, because she dared not look away. The entrance hall of her castle was long, linoleum, and white, with several columns built along the red carpetting leading to the staircase that split into a T when it came to the far wall.

"Hm, us, perhaps?" Blueblood looked around the entrance hall curiously. There were several doors on each side, and two underneath the staircases. Servant's quarters, guard stations, kitchens, laundry rooms, the works.

Twilight hummed at the thought. It sounded ridiculous. In fact, in practice it was ridiculous, it was a waste of money, valuable resources, and was hardly art. Unless they shelled out enough for paintings, embroideries, and that sort of thing, but money didn't grow on stalks. "Seems a little unnecessary."

"You think so?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "But it would be an homage to us and our rule." He smiled triumphantly, but Twilight passed by without so much as a look. His triumph slipped into annoyance.

"We aren't even ruling yet!" Twilight pointed out as Noble lead her up the stairs. She glanced back at Blueblood with an apologetic smile. "Let's at least see if we can even budget it before we think about artwork."

"Budget it?" Blueblood trotted after her with a raised eyebrow. "Have you forgotten who I am? Who we are?" He came up beside her, and gave her rear a whack with his tail. "We are Bluebloods. Everything is in our budget." He took a few steps and heard Twilight start to speak. He stopped her with a glance. "Everything."

"Um, Blueblood?" Twilight leapt up the stairs to catch up, and he and Noble stopped before going up the left section. "I understand your- our family is rich, but there has to be a limit to what we can spend. Your father-"

"Spent twenty-eight million bits on a wedding he rushed until it was an incomprehensible mess, stomping tradition, practicality, and efficiency flat just to assure us control of this kingdom. He spent a mere fraction of our worth to shack us up so we can be here to rule, and if what we're told is true, the ore, fertilizer, and information we'll be digging up from beyond this 'Border' will more than cover for it." Blueblood stuck his nose in the air and started climbing once more. "If father gets angry that I'm feeling a little vain, then he can step out of his golden horse shoes and try and tell me none of yesterday was done for his image."

Twilight opened her mouth to argue, then shut it. She and Blueblood had been crammed together without wanting it. She followed Blueblood to the top of the stairs and let Noble walk ahead of them to open the door and lead them through. "A statue of us?"

"Correct. Drawn up, well-proportioned, finely dressed, the works. Give the ponies here an idea of who is in charge. Have it made from the white stone of the Canterlot mountain." The three of them stepped into a wide, rounded room, full of chairs, couches, coffee tables, lamps, and book cases. A nice little lounge room.

"Blueblood, if we're going to buy a statue we might as well go all out." Twilight stated in a matter-of-fact voice that grabbed Blueblood interest immediately.

"Oh? Do tell."

"I want my statue to be done with gold. Golden mane, silver stripe, darker compound for the darker stripe. And I want my irises to be done up with purple gemstones harvested from the dark reaches of Equestria's jungle and I want each strand of my coat crafted and visible upon close inspection." Twilight stated with a serious nod, but almost immediately broke into giggles.

Noble opened her mouth to tell them how impossible that last choice was, but Blueblood spoke up first. "The statue shall feature us, standing on a chariot of flame-brought-to-life taken from an ancient dracolich from the far west, being pulled by the Princesses across the sky!" He stated with a demanding stomp of his hoof. Noble's mouth hung open.

Twilight snorted, and covered her mouth. "Might be too far." She giggled into her hoof.

"I suppose. Anyhow, a tour. Lounge room?" Blueblood glanced around curiously, and Noble nodded slowly, mouth shut.

"Quite. I mean yes. This is the guests' lounge room for smaller parties and get togethers..."

Two bedrooms, four guest bedrooms later, Noble was leading them out the front door of the castle once more. It had been a boring tour, but Twilight did like what she saw. It was all so much, more than she was used to. Four poster beds, a magical fire place to alter heat, intensity, and coloration, many ridiculous, outrageous, and expensive fineries from the gold-tipped tassels on the silken window drapes to the dragon-headed arms of the reading chairs carved from the one-hundred foot tall fire-breathing oak trees of Valhalla.

She still couldn't imagine herself sleeping in these rooms though, living in this town, being the wife of Prince Blueblood. She felt that, somehow, she'd just open her eyes and be underneath the wooden roof of her tree house again. Yet the stone beneath her hooves was most definitely real, Prince Blueblood was definitely by her side, and she had definitely signed her name last night.

Oh Celestia, what would she tell her friends? What would she tell Celestia? Shining Armor was already mad as it was, she couldn't imagine how Rainbow Dash would react. She imagined, briefly, that she'd tell them what would happen and they'd drag her back to Ponyville and keep her safe and happy there.

"And protection?"

Twilight lifted her ears and glanced up from her hooves. They were in the entrance hall of the castle again. Blueblood was staring at Noble, who pulled some note out of her pack and looked them over.

"According to these, you father made an arrangement to have Gelderlanden defended by a majority of the Blueblood House Guards about five months ago." She answered, letting Blueblood look.

"... Of course he did. But only the Blueblood House Guard? Surely with the Border right by us there's more." He asked, and another paper got floated in front of him.

"It has also been arranged for several of Celestia's Royal Guard to be stationed here as a military presence against whatever lies across the Border, but you, Prince Blueblood, will have three of them with you at almost all times. Your father has made the assumption that you will handle most of the business dealings and trading partners, and feels you'd benefit the most if you felt secure." Noble rolled her shoulders in a shrug.

Blueblood touched his chin in thought, and glanced to Twilight. "All well and good, but I'm assuming you're not leaving my wife unguarded?" Twilight gave them both a very slow blink. Did she really needed to be guarded? Who would target her?

"Oh, actually, Princess Celestia made a very special arrangement for her guard just last night." Noble smiled, and Prince Blueblood and Twilight both raised an eyebrow. "Everypony was quite surprised to hear about it. There is a small team from her personal military she feels has been sub-par lately, and mentioned they would benefit from some practice in a potentially hostile area."

"Her personal military?" Blueblood repeated.

"Who would Celestia send to keep an eye on me?" Twilight asked with a surprised look.

"Prepare to be impressed." Noble fished through her pack for a moment, then pulled out a whistle. The three of them trot outside the castle, and Noble blew a note on the whistle, long, loud, and clear. Lots of ponies stopped in their tracks to stare at the elderly keeper of the Traditions Society.

Twilight looked confused for a moment. She knew that sound... She'd heard it in Cloudsdale at the Young Flyers' Competition... "Noble." She called softly, making the mare look down. "Is that... is that a flight-training whistle?"

Noble didn't have time to answer. From the top of the castle came three streaks of dark, spark-filled clouds. "Oh. My. She didn't." Blueblood whispered disbelievingly as the three streaks swooped down and landed with the utmost ease from near record-shattering speeds. The clouds and dust cleared with a single flap of their wings, and three pegasi wearing blue, skin-tight outfits with lightning bolts streaks and goggles stood before them.

Blueblood and Twilight both simply stared, while other ponies began to gather around and whisper excitedly about the newcomers. The pegasus in the middle lifted her goggles, resting them against her forehead just beneath an orange, yellow, and red mane that reminded them both of a wildfire. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She said with a practiced tone, then she and the two other Wonderbolts bowed low.

"Uh... huh?" Twilight muttered, cheeks reddening. In the span of two days she gained her mentor's permissions to see her whenever she pleased, several compliments from one of the wealthiest ponies in Canterlot, married to the son of the same wealthy pony, and now three super-star living legends were bowing to her.

Productive. Productive but terrifyingly embarrassing.

The three pegasi stood, and the mare in the middle approached. stiff, holding herself tall and proud. "We've been assigned by Princess Celestia to watch over you, my name is-"

"Spitfire!" Twilight blurted out, surprising the mare. "Omigosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt but you're the captain of the Wonderbolts!" Twilight beamed as she extended a hoof. Blueblood and Noble stared in horror at the gesture, but Spitfire seemed more than happy to take it.

"Wow. Well, yeah! That's me, Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts. At your service ma'am." She bowed her head, and seemed to sag as the tension flowed out of her.

"Oh! You don't have to bow to me, I really don't like it." Twilight didn't really follow aero-sports but everything she heard from Rainbow Dash... she couldn't not be impressed! "No, you're the Wonderbolts! I can't- I'd forgotten that you were part of Celestia's military! This is amazing! She assigned you to me?"

"Yup." A more laid-back voice answered. A blue-haired colt walked forward and lifted his goggles, just like his partner did. He had relaxed remarkably since Twilight began to gush. "I'm Soarin, it's nice to meet you Princess Twilight." Twilight once again stuck out a hoof and Soarin accepted the shake.

"It's so great to meet you too! One of my best friends is a giant fan of you all, and now- now I get to meet you and- and wow! This is just-"

"Say no more, ma'am! We read you loud and clear!" The last mare spoke up, also getting a hoofshake. She had a blue coat and a white mane. "My name is Fleetfoot, quickest wing in the Wonderbolts."

Twilight glanced between the three for a few uncomprehending moments. They were supposed to guard her. These were her guards. That was incredible! It only could have been better if her own older brother could do the job. "This really is amazing to meet all of you. I know so much about you all. I have this friend... well I already told you, but it's incredible."

"We're happy to be of service, ma'am." Spitfire smiled, but slightly narrowed her eyes as she looked Twilight over. Something seemed... oddly familiar. "Princess Celestia was very insistant we come guard you, and was happy that we agreed to it. Not that we could say no but she seemed very pleased."

"Oh! Well, you probably know this but I'm Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia was my personal mentor in magic." Twilight told the three of them with a slight blush. Fleetfoot looked impressed.

"Aww man, really? Then you must know some crazy magic!" She began to bounce in place, making Soarin and Spitfire roll their eyes. "Ooh! Ooh! Could you show us something!? Something flashy!"

"Fleetfoot, we're here to guard her, not for a show." Spitfire reminded her, her tone switching to a displeased mother very quickly. Fleetfoot began to slow down.

"Oh, right. Okay." The younger mare deflated.

"It's really no big deal." Twilight spoke up, getting a surprised look from the three of them. "I'd love to show you some of my magic. Is there anything in particular you'd like to see?"

"Ooh!" Fleetfoot was jumping again, grinning as she nodded. "Ooh! Yeah! You're Celestia's student? Can you drop the sun onto a dragon!?"

Twilight's face flushed, and Spitfire began to nurse her forehead with a hoof. Soarin hid a snicker behind his hoof. "Err, no. I can't."

Fleetfoot paused, and hummed thoughtfully. "Ooh!" Hopping again. "Fire a concentrated sunbeam through a magnifying glass and carve a picture of yourself in a hilltop!?"

"I- I can't control the sun, I'm not that powerful..."

"Oh." Fleetfoot stopped again. "Well what can you do?" She finally asked, making Spitfire panic.

"Fleetfoot! You can't be so demanding with the royalty! Just leave her alone!" She snapped, but Twilight waved a hoof.

"Sorry, I understand you're reprimanding her, but..." Twilight's horn began to glow. Spitfire's eyes widened, and she backed away from Fleetfoot, while the latter stood still and watched.

"Uh, this won't hurt me, will it?" Fleetfoot asked nervously.

"Only if you have a hair allergy." Twilight winked, and the spell flared up, making Fleetfoot's face flash. Spitfire and Soarin both stared at the youngest of their troop stood there, perfectly fine, with an impressively bushy black moustache on her snout.

Her eyes turned downwards to stare at the moustache. She twitched her nose, and the facial hair wiggled and lifted as she flexed her snout. "This..." She spoke up, glancing to Twilight. "Is the best thing."

"Tha-"

"Ever."

"Thanks." Twilight chuckled softly. Fleetfloot turned her head to face the surprised Soarin, and wiggled her new facial hair with almost mocking glee. "It's really not that impressive though, I just targetted the hair follicles along your snout and grew them at hyperspeed while dying the growing the hairs a darker more distinctive color and-"

Spitfire put a hoof to Twilight's mouth. If any of them had looked, they would see the outrage on Blueblood's and Noble's face. "I know you!" The bright pegasus exclaimed, eyes suddenly shining with recognition. "You're that brainy little unicorn from Ponyville who was testing everypony's airspeed during Cloudsdale's last rainy season." Spitfire was all smiles for a few seconds, then she dropped her hoof to the ground and grew a wide-eyed look. "You're royalty!? What were you doing in Ponyville?"

"Oh! Well." Twilight gave her an apologetic smile. "I wasn't royalty back then, my brother married Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, bringing me into the royal family and I- uh..." Twilight walked over and stood next to Blueblood. "I married yesterday into the Blueblood family. This is my husband, Prince Blueblood."

Spitfire walked forward and extended a hoof to the prince. "Nice to meet you sir, my name is Spitfire."

Blueblood stared down at the extended hoof as if it were offensive, and with an annoyed expression waved it off. "Prince Blueblood, soon to be king of this little province." His tone had a little bite in it that made Spitfire back down. "Twilight this is all well and good, but let's get moving. I want to go home.”

Twilight deflated by his side, and gave Spitfire a sorry look. "Yes Blueblood." She answered autonomously.

They started their walk back to the front gates, Soarin and Fleetfoot in the air, watching the ground and the sky, while Spitfire remained by Twilight's side with a neutral expression. Twilight huffed to herself. How could he act so cordial to her, yet dismiss something so simple as a hoofshake? He didn't have to make his title sound so condescending either. She hoped Spitfire didn't think she would be like that...

"So..." Twilight looked up. Spitfire was leaning towards her slightly and whispering. "How did you two shack up?" She asked, eyes clearly on Blueblood as he argued a little with Noble.

"Didn't have a choice." Twilight muttered. "It was arranged by our parents while they were drunk."

Spitfire turned and stared right at her with a surprised look. Though she couldn't see past her goggles, Twilight could imagine the wide-eyes she'd been getting every time she told a pony the story. "... That's not fair!"

"Tell me about it." Twilight looked up at the ring sitting at the base of her horn, then forward again.

"So you had no choice but to marry this jerk? Aren't you the Princess's student? Can't she pull some strings? Call horse apples on it? Send him to the moon?"

"To be fair, he didn't have a choice either." Twilight glanced up to the wall of Gelderlanden. Soarin and Fleetfoot sat at the top like a pair of gargoyles, watching for trouble. "And neither of us can say no, because if I do then my family goes into several millions of bits worth of debt, and his dad wouldn't let him. So here we are, in quite a pickle."

"Oof, tell me about it." Spitfire sounded sympathetic, and it pleased Twilight to no end that the mare nudged her in a friendly manner. "So, back in Ponyville... you're friends with Rainbow Dash, right?"

Twilight's ears perked up, and she nodded. "Yes, she's one of my best friends!... that I have to leave behind..." Twilight sighed loudly. Spitfire touched a hoof to her own chin.

"Well." She hummed. "That sucks."

"Like you wouldn't believe." Twilight nodded in agreement as the two approached the carriage. Spitfire walked ahead of her suddenly, passed Blueblood and Noble, and entered the carriage. Twilight stared after her in confusion, though Blueblood and Noble remained silent as Spitfire looked around, poked through the cushions, looked under the seats, and stepped out.

"Carriage is clear. All set for travel." She saluted to Blueblood and Noble politely as they stepped in.

"Excellent. Go ahead and take flight, and try not to bother us." Blueblood ordered. Spitfire remained silent, and stared straight at Twilight. "Did you not hear me? I said-"

"I mean no offense sir, but my duties are to serve Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Twilight Sparkle alone. While I can assure you I will do my best to protect her husband, my orders come from Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle." Spitfire recited in that same, practiced tone.

Blueblood's eyebrow began to twitch, and he opened his mouth to say something, something probably not very nice, but Twilight whisked by and bumped into him to distract him. "I'm glad to hear it Spitfire, thank you, but go ahead and do as he says. We'll have plenty of time to chat when we land in Canterlot."

Spitfire saluted smartly and took off while Twilight took a seat.

'sup bitches? Look what I got off my lazy ass to update! Can't promise chaptuh four any time soon, or anything anytime soon! Borderlands 2. Yeah. Anyhow, y'all go enjoy yourselves now, I need to go grab me some food! Mm-mm, good!