The Perfect Gentlemare

by Iris Heartfang

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9194

Usually Pinkie excelled at parties, but the kind of high-society gathering where one embarrassment could ruin her crush's fashion career forever was not her idea of a party. Being herself isn't good enough, she needs to become the perfect gentlemare.

Rarity receives an invitation to an exclusive get-together of all the biggest names in Equestrian fashion, and she knows exactly who she wants to be her +1: Ponyville's premier party pony, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie would do anything to make her friends happy, especially Rarity, so she jumps at the chance to accompany her crush, but Pinkie is painfully aware that she's not exactly the type who fits in with high-society.

While Rarity has nothing but confidence in her precious pink paramour, Pinkie believes that she isn't good enough for Rarity or her fashionista friends by just being herself.

She needs to become... the perfect gentlemare.

Published 2018-05-31 12:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-31 12:20:07 UTC

The Perfect Gentlemare

-RARITY-

My friends and I were all gathered in Twilight’s castle, sitting in our beautiful personalized thrones around the Cutie Map at my request. I had the most splendid news to share with them all and I just couldn’t wait to tell them, my hooves tapping excitedly on the map as I waited for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, the last of us to arrive, to take their seats and await my explanation.

“So what’s got you so excited, Rarity?” Twilight asked eagerly.

“Yeah, you sure called us here in a hurry,” Rainbow added as she sat down. I refrained from giggling at the way she self-consciously rubbed a hoof over a still wet bruise-like mark on her neck, or at Fluttershy blushing as she glanced over at Rainbow’s neck and the mark that was undoubtedly left by her. “Some of us were uh, in the middle of stuff.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” I said with a mixture of empathy and excitement, “but I have huge, ENORMOUS news!”

“I love enormous newses!” Pinkie said, hopping on her throne.

“Is this like actual big news,” Applejack said with a teasing expression, “or did ya get like a new couch for yer sewin’ room or somethin’?”

“Well excuse me for being very passionate about my luxuries,” I harrumphed at Applejack, turning my head away from her in a huff, but her snicker made me smile and I returned to my excited posture very quickly. “But for your information, this is VERY BIG!”

Using my magic, I produced a golden envelope from the saddlebag sitting beside my throne, levitating it in the air for all of my friends to see and smiling widely as I waited their reactions.

“Oh, it’s very beautiful,” Fluttershy said in delight. She paused for a moment and added, “What is it?”

“It’s an envelope, silly!” Pinkie said with a coy bat of her hoof. “Do I get a prize for winning the guessing game?!”

“This is an invitation,” I declared proudly, “to the World Fashion Showcase in Canterlot!!!” I couldn’t contain my gleeful giggles and I pounded my hooves excitedly on the map once again, but my cheers seemed to fall on deaf ears and I blushed as I looked around at the perplexed faces of my friends.

“The what now?” Applejack asked with a tilt of her head.

“The name could definitely be cooler,” Rainbow added drolly.

I cleared my throat and placed the envelope in front of me on the map as I sorted my thoughts and prepared to explain.

“The World Fashion Showcase,” I said, “is the biggest fashion event of the entire year. It’s held in a different location each year, often times switching countries from year to year, and this year it’s being held…” I paused for dramatic effect and tried, futilely, to stifle another excited squeal that turned into a fit of giggles, “in Canterlot!”

“So you were personally invited to the biggest fashion event… in the WORLD?” Twilight said with an appropriate level of awe and reverence, standing up with her hooves on the table. “That’s amazing, Rarity!”

“Thank you, Twilight!” I said proudly. “Finally somepony understands the magnitude of this situation!”

“Well hot dang, Rarity!” Applejack said cheerfully. “I’m really excited and proud for ya!”

“Yeah, same!” Rainbow said, pounding her hoof on the map. “That’s incredible!”

“Thank you all so much!” I said with a beaming smile. “The World Fashion Showcase is an opportunity for all the biggest names in Equestrian and world fashion to get together and discuss new ideas and/or brag about their accomplishments, and I was given a personalized invitation!” I fear in my excitement I may have let out a rather unladylike screech of enthusiasm, but I couldn’t help myself! This was BIG!

“Oooooooh, so it’s a party!” Pinkie said.

“Yes,” I nodded, “it’s basically like the Grand Galloping Gala or the Canterlot Garden Party. A high society gathering of brilliant minds all coming together to make connections and pave their paths toward the future!”

“Oh, so it’s one of those parties,” Fluttershy said drearily, a cursory look at the pensive expressions of my friends cluing me in that she was not alone in her apprehension.

“Yyyyes…” I said awkwardly, “but some of us rather enjoy ‘those’ parties, you know.”

“That’s right!” Pinkie cheered, putting her hooves up onto the map and standing tall. “A party’s a party, right? And Rarity’s really excited about this so I’m excited too!”

Pinkie’s enthusiasm washed over the rest of our friends, as it so often naturally did, and the others gave their own nods and words of approval. It seemed we were all on the same page as far as the importance of this event was concerned, which meant now it was time to drop the bomb.

“There is, however, one small problem,” I said nervously, absentmindedly glancing toward the wall. “The Showcase is… tomorrow night. My invitation, while personalized and very thoughtful, was also incredibly last minute.”

“Yikes, that’s not great,” Applejack said dreadfully. “Are ya gonna have everything ya need by tomorrow night?”

“Oh of course, darling!” I scoffed and batted a dismissive hoof. “You don’t get to where I am in the fashion industry by being caught unprepared. I have a selection of beautiful ensembles picked out to take along with me, a portfolio of some of my best works, plus this is a wonderful opportunity to wear my Gala dress again. It’s been ages since I had occasion to wear it.”

“Cool, sounds like you’re all set!” Rainbow said with a big grin.

“I am!” I cheerfully replied before letting my eyes wander and my smile fade ever so slightly. “Except…”

“Except?” Twilight asked skeptically, arching an eyebrow.

“I need a date,” I confessed, lowering my head. “None of the eligible bachelors in Canterlot or Ponyville will do. The Canterlot ponies would bore me to tears within minutes if I had to spend any amount of time alone with them and the Ponyville ponies, bless their hearts, are simply not equipped for this kind of social challenge. I need… one of you.”

The trepidation that washed over the room was as overwhelming as it was instantaneous.

“Wow cool, uh look at the time!” Rainbow stammered nervously. “It’s ‘I would rather drown myself than go to that thing with you’ o’clock!”

“Rainbow, be nice,” Fluttershy said sternly, Rainbow slinking down into her seat and grumbling after her marefriend’s scolding.

“Rarity,” Twilight said pensively, “you know that we all support you and want to do whatever we can to help, but…”

“Ya really think bringin’ any of us to this fancy party of yers is a great idea?” Applejack chimed in bemusedly, resting her chin on her hoof with an elbow on the table.

“Yeah, yeah!” Rainbow said. “I wanna make it clear, when I said ‘I’d rather drown myself’ it’s not because of you, it’s because of fancy boring parties and how much I don’t like them.”

“I’m not sure that makes it better, Rainbow,” Twilight snarked.

“Come now, my friends,” I said with a mixture of elegant regality and whiny pleading, “you know I wouldn’t ask this of any of you if I did not have complete confidence in you! And also I’m desperate. But mostly the first thing!”

“I’ll go with you,” Pinkie said calmly, a precious soft smile decorating her face.

“Oh that’s fabulous, Pinkie Pie!” I said excitedly, practically jumping out of my seat. “You were the first pony I was going to ask!”

“R-really?” Pinkie said bashfully, placing a hoof up to her lip.

“Indeed,” I said with a nod and a bright smile. “I gathered all of you here because I wanted to share the news, but truth be told I only intended to ask Pinkie Pie to be my Plus One.”

“W-wow,” Pinkie stammered and a faint red blush spread across her face, which was rather adorable. “Why me? N-not that I don’t appreciate the offer, obviously! I’d love to go with you, i-if you’ll have me!”

“Of course I’ll have you, darling,” I said proudly. “And the reasons why are simple: you and I will look like an amazing power couple, you can get along with almost literally anypony, and most of all…” I looked away from my friends and lowered my head, covering my face with a hoof as I gently, softly admitted, “I’m actually very nervous about this.”

“Well of course you are,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, as she was wont to do. “It’s the biggest fashion event in the world! One embarrassment could set your career back by years if not ruin it completely!”

A palpable, almost painful silence swept across the room and all eyes found themselves on a suddenly very embarrassed Twilight.

“That… doesn’t help, does it?” she said awkwardly, her cheeks flushing as she slunk down as though she were trying to disappear under the table.

“The point is,” I cleared my throat and let my gaze return to dear Pinkie Pie, “it’s impossible to not feel comfortable around you, darling. With you at my side, I will be feeling my absolute best and will be able to show the world just how magnificent Rarity can be!”

“That’s…” Pinkie stared at me, an indecipherable expression on her face as her eyes darted all over the room. “That’s a lot of…” she took a deep breath, cleared her throat and stamped her hooves on the Cutie Map, standing tall as she said, “Don’t worry, Rarity! For you, I’m gonna become the perfect gentlemare!”

“Of that, I have no doubt, my darling,” I said wistfully, staring dreamily at the precious, adorable, beautiful mare.

****

-PINKIE PIE-

I was looking at myself fidgeting in the mirror, back in my room at Sugarcube Corner, as I tried on a bunch of different outfits that just weren’t right. I was going on a date with Rarity! This was a big deal! Especially since one screw-up or embarrassment could ruin her dream career!

That’s… that’s a lot of pressure.

I needed to be perfect.

“I think yer over worryin’, sugarcube,” Applejack said comfortingly, putting a gentle hoof on my shoulder as I threw the ninth or tenth outfit into the reject pile.

“But Applejaaaaack!” I pleaded, stamping my hoofsies agitatedly on the ground. “This is serious! This is Rarity we’re talking about! Everything has to be perfect!”

“Pinkie Pie, I know how ya feel,” Applejack said with a soft smile. “I know what it’s like to have a crush on somepony, but ya gotta understand that Rarity chose you to be her date cuz she trusts ya. Ya don’t gotta be anypony other than yerself for it to be perfect.”

“Applejack, I know you mean well and you’re very sweet,” I said with a strained smile, trying to keep my rumbly nerves under control and also not snap at Applejack who I know, know, know was trying to be nice but was being decidedly unhelpful, “but let’s think about this for a sec! It’s not just that it’s a date with-” I paused as I felt my cheeks getting all warm and hot and I had to bite down a goofy smile “-with Rarity..."

I got sidetracked by my thoughts, and Applejack's chuckle that snapped me back to reality just made me blush even more.

“Um, anyway. It’s not just that," I cleared my throat. "This is a big fancy fashion industry thing! You know I’m a disaster at big stuffy parties like this! I don’t know what I was thinking telling her that I’d go with her! I mean, of course I want to go with her, and she looked really sad when she said she needed a date and I couldn’t believe my ears when she said that cuz there’s no way someone as amazing as Rarity couldn’t find a date so I said I’d go but I’m a huge disaster and everything’s gonna get messed up and—”

“Like I said, Pinkie,” Applejack said abruptly while putting a hoof over my muzzle, “Rarity chose you for a reason, so ya just gotta be yerself. It’ll be fine, trust me.” She set her hoof back on the ground and I let out a weary sigh, Applejack grabbing my cheeks and giving me a big grin. “I mean, have I ever steered ya wrong before?”

“You haven’t, but…” I walked away from Applejack and let out a disgusted groan as I looked at my reflection. “Oh yeah, just be myself, right.” I said grimly, rolling my eyes with a big frown on my face. “Everypony loved me at the Grand Galloping Gala, right?”

“Pinkie Pie…” Applejack sighed, a grim but sympathetic look on her face.

“Ooh, or what about the Canterlot Garden Party?” I continued, a frustrated, forced smile spreading over my dumb face. “How long should I wait when me and Rarity get to this party before shoving my face into the dessert table? When I steal the microphone from the band to sing an embarrassing song that nopony likes, how many of the band members should I shove off the stage? Should I start with the Party Cannon or wait until everyone’s already grumbling about what a dumb stupid idiot I am?”

“Pinkie Pie…” Applejack said softly and walked over to place a gentle hoof on my shoulder. She was starting to understand the depths of my anxiety, but honestly at this point it was probably too late to help. There wasn’t anything she could’ve said that would’ve changed my mind.

“Like I said,” I said curtly and walked over to the closet to try on another outfit, “everything needs to be perfect, and I’m… not. So I need to be somepony who is perfect. I need to be…” I looked at myself in the mirror and forced a smile on my face as I tried to admire how the tuxedo shirt, big top hat and cute little mittens made me look like, “…the perfect gentlemare.”

****

-RARITY-

Could there ever be a sight more beautiful to behold in all of Equestria, all the world, than my stunning visage when accentuated by my one-of-a-kind Grand Galloping Gala dress? Absolutely not! Never a more beautiful mare existed before or since I was born, and never again would Equestria be blessed by such beauty.

It was truly a burdensome responsibility to be as elegant and perfect as I, but such was my fate I suppose, a fate that I carried willingly and proudly, for if I did not live up to my potential perfection I would be depriving the world of the grandness of Rarity and that simply would not do.

Although I suspect Twilight, who came to the Carousel Boutique to offer her moral support as I got ready for the Showcase tonight, was getting rather tired of me staring silently into the mirror and striking poses for the last, oh let’s just look at the clock here… forty-five minutes.

“Excited, Rarity?” Twilight said drolly, a faint chuckle escaping her lips as I turned to her with a blush across my cheeks.

“A mite, yes,” I replied sheepishly. “It’s just…” I sighed longingly and looked again into the mirror, dreaming of all the possibilities of this incredible night. “It’s going to be magical. Pinkie Pie and I showing up at the World Fashion Showcase, dazzling all the ponies there with our grace and beauty…”

I began to dance across the floor of the Boutique as I fell into the comforting embrace of my daydreaming.

“…they’ll all be talking about us, of course,” I said with a content smile. “Why, I imagine our presence may even distract some of the fashion giants themselves enough to forget all about why they came in the first place!” I couldn’t stop a full-blown gleeful giggle from escaping my muzzle, but how could I help myself?

Twilight chuckled. That sort of self-satisfied chuckle when she was about to say something oh so clever or when she knew she was right about something.

“Y’know, Rarity,” she said with a sly grin, “if I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you’re more excited to be spending time with Pinkie Pie than for the Showcase itself.”

“W-why that’s ridiculous, Twilight Sparkle,” I laughed awkwardly and batted a dismissive hoof. “Of course I’m elated at the chance to spend a fabulous night with one of my best friends, why wouldn’t I be? And am I delighted at the opportunity to show Pinkie Pie around the beautiful city of Canterlot, which I know she’s been to several times before but she’s never seen it with quite my eye… I mean, yes of course that’s something to look forward to. And will we be laughing and smiling the entire night because she’s just such a joy to be around, well certainly, but everypony feels that way about Pinkie Pie!”

“And the Showcase?” Twilight said cheekily with a smugly arched eyebrow.

“Oh yes, I’m very excited for the Showcase also-” I paused for a moment, distracted once again by the thought of showing Pinkie Pie to one of my very favorite little hole-in-the-wall restaurants and the dreamy smile that accompanied the thought “-uh, of course. But as big an opportunity as this is,” I flicked my mane back confidently and shot Twilight an entrancing glance, “it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m a natural at industry events like this, darling, and I’ve had a ton of practice. I could ace this Showcase in my sleep.”

I paused again and a giddy, childish smile spread across my face without me even realizing, once again I caught myself daydreaming about what I could do with Pinkie Pie before, during and after the Showcase.

“Y’know, you could spend time with Pinkie Pie at any time,” Twilight suggested, absentmindedly levitating some spools of thread on the desk she was sitting beside. “It’s not like she’d turn you down.”

“Well, sure,” I said bashfully, taking a few cautious steps away from Twilight, “but I can’t exactly say ‘oh Pinkie, would you like to go have dinner with me, alone, at my place or one of my favorite restaurants? I’ll pay of course, I just want to spend time with you!’ now can I?”

“Ehh, why can’t you say that?” Twilight tilted her head confusedly. “Like why not say that exact thing?”

My cheeks started to turn very red and warm as I stamped a hoof defiantly. “Because, Twilight!” I said indignantly before harrumphing and turning my head away from her. “She might get the wrong idea!”

“That… you want to spend time with her?” Twilight asked, sounding even more confused than before.

“Oh, Twilight, you silly thing,” I couldn’t help but giggle at my faithful companion’s complete lack of understanding and I walked toward her to place my hoof under her chin. “You just don’t understand a single thing about courtship, do you?”

“Not really,” Twilight said with a half-hearted shrug, but her ears suddenly perked up and she wore a bright smile that quickly turned into a sly, smug grin as she narrowed her eyes at me. “So you do want to ‘court’ Pinkie Pie!”

“What?! I didn’t say that!” I stammered bashfully, backing up quickly and bumping my rump right into my sewing table with an obnoxious thud.

“You… pretty much did,” Twilight said, stifling a laugh.

“I—“ my rather pathetic denials of what was obviously true to everypony but myself were thankfully cut off by the sound of the Carousel Boutique doorbell. “Oh that’s her!” I said with a bit too much exuberance in my voice as I galloped over to the door, pausing for just one moment to adjust my hair and perfect my eyelash fluttering.

It’s showtime, Rarity! I thought as I opened up the door.

My gay heart was not prepared for the sight awaiting me on the other side of that door. Pinkie Pie was all dolled up, wearing the most precious little tuxedo with matching little mittens and a big black and purple top hat. She even had a little purple bowtie!

She’s… too cute! I thought as I quickly moved a hoof over my muzzle to keep myself from gasping.

“How do you do, my lady?” Pinkie said in a curiously calm voice while tipping her hat to me.

“Um, I’m… I’m doing quite well,” I said as I quickly regained my composure and gave my gentlemare a little curtsy, “thank you for asking.”

“My pleasure,” Pinkie said with a nod and a smile. She was cute, but… something was off. Her energy was too… low. Not like she was dreary or anything of the sort, but she wasn’t bouncing or cheering. Her smile was soft and reserved, not like the normal giant goofus grin that I was used to seeing on her and that was always so welcome and precious.

“Howdy,” Applejack was also standing at the door but I honestly didn’t even notice until she introduced herself, my attention completely rapt by my beautiful little gentlemare. “Mind if we come in?”

“Oh, of course!” I said with an awkward laugh, embarrassed that I of all ponies forgot my manners. “Make yourselves at home!”

“Hi, Pinkie,” Twilight greeted our friend the gentlemare as she seated herself very quietly and politely on a couch opposite Twilight’s chair, “are you excited for the Showcase tonight?”

“Yes ma’am,” Pinkie said flatly with a little nod and a polite smile. “I am quite excited to escort Rarity to the World Fashion Showcase. I’m sure it will be a very enjoyable time.”

“What’s wrong with her?” I whispered to Applejack, the orange mare looking at Pinkie with a mix of disdain and genuine worry. Pinkie’s little gentlemare act was cute but I was beginning to become rather concerned by her uncharacteristic behavior.

“Look, ya didn’t hear this from me,” Applejack whispered back, “but Pinkie’s real nervous about this. She’s worried she’s gonna mess things up for ya and that yer gonna get upset with her. She really wants this night to go well so she’s kinda… overcompensatin’ a little bit.”

“Ohoho, is that all?” I said with a sigh of relief before trotting over to Pinkie Pie and fluttering my eyelashes at her. “Pinkie Pie, darling. It’s completely natural to be nervous about a big occasion like this, but do remember that we are, for tonight, Equestria’s finest power couple! As long as we have each other, there’s nothing to be afraid of!”

I puffed out my chest and raised my hoof in a mock salute, expecting Pinkie Pie to mirror my gesture or reply with a silly over-exaggeration of her own, but…

“I agree,” she said with a nod and that same reserved smile. “There’s nothing to be nervous about at all. I’m sure the night will be lovely.”

“R-right,” I said, trying to sound more assured than I was. The sudden twitch in my eye wasn’t helping matters.

I mean, okay, Pinkie Pie was nervous. I suppose I couldn’t blame her, this was a fairly big occasion… and I may have hyped it up a bit too much before… honestly, I had gotten so caught up in all the things I wanted to do with Pinkie specifically that I had almost forgotten just what a huge occasion this World Fashion Showcase actually was.

With Pinkie Pie likely not distracted by such concerns, it was only natural that she had probably spent a good deal of her time during the last twenty-four hours thinking about the big party itself. It was only natural to be on edge then, I suppose.

Hopefully, as the hour of the party grew closer she would start feeling more like herself.

“I suppose you and I should be off, darling,” I said to Pinkie. “Time waits for nopony, and we need to get to Canterlot!”

“I booked us a carriage,” Pinkie said calmly. “It’s waiting outside.”

“Oh, excellent!” I said with a charmed smile. “Just you and I, on a serene carriage ride through the beautiful nature of Ponyville and Canterlot? I can’t think of a more exquisite way to begin our evening!”

“Yup, it’ll be fun,” Pinkie said… in that tone.

I paused for a moment, trying to measure my reaction. I was… annoyed, a little. Frustrated is more the term. But it wasn’t fair of me to be bemused by Pinkie’s attitude. She was trying her best and it would be cold of me to make a big huff because she wasn’t as excited as I was to be spending time together. She was nervous about the Showcase and I absolutely could not blame her for that.

I just hoped she warmed up before we got there.

****

-PINKIE PIE-

The carriage ride to Canterlot was… uneventful, almost sad. Rarity and I didn’t talk much, when we did she just raised some standard small talk questions and I answered her with brief, one or two word answers.

I could tell there was a lot more she wanted to say, but there was something bugging her… no, not ‘something’, I knew it was me, I was bugging her. This whole ‘being the perfect gentlemare’ thing was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and Rarity wasn’t going for it at all.

Still… if I tried to just act like myself at that party…

Welp, a couple hours on a boring carriage ride is a small price to pay for Rarity to not be embarrassed at the party and have her whole dream and career go down in flames because she has a stupid pink friend who messes things up all the time and can’t do anything right!

When we finally got to the party, held under the stars in the Canterlot Gardens, Rarity made a big show of us arriving, announcing our presence and declaring that “Equestria’s finest power couple is here!”

I don’t think anypony was impressed. Barely anyone even glanced over at us and the ones that did seemed less than amused. But Rarity played it cool, like it didn’t faze her in the slightest, she just flicked her mane and scoffed at the other ponies’ lack of proper appreciation. She was so cool.

“Ah, Rarity! You made it!” a dignified stallion voice called out to Rarity from the crowd, and I’m preeeetty sure I recognized it, but I couldn’t place it until I saw man approach us. He was a blue-haired white stallion with a thin mustache wearing a tuxedo just like mine.

“Fancy Pants!” Rarity said in delight. “What a pleasure to see you here!”

“Likewise, Rarity,” Fancy chuckled, and a pale pink haired mare walked up behind him and gave Rarity a theatric smile, which Rarity was all too happy to return. I just kinda slinked into the background a bit. “Frankly, if you hadn’t arrived I’m not sure what I would be doing right now. These get-togethers are always such a chore.”

“R-really?” Rarity asked hesitantly, a gentle smile trying to hide her nervousness. “It’s my first time, so I’m afraid there may be something that I missed. I was rather looking forward to making some new connections tonight.”

“Oh, my apologies, Rarity,” Fancy said with a bow. “It’s simply that I’ve been to the World Fashion Showcase, and countless events just like it, more times than I can count. I already know everypony worth knowing so at this point my presence here is basically just a formality.”

“Besides,” the pink haired mare, her name was Fleur I think, added, “some of these ponies can be very… cantankerous.”

“Oh? However do you mean?” Rarity asked concernedly.

“The World Fashion Showcase is a gathering of the most elite players in the fashion industry,” Fancy explained, “and you don’t generally get to become the most elite without getting your hooves dirty from time to time.”

“While making connections is a large part of what this night is all about,” Fleur added, “burning bridges and cutting down potential rivals is equally important to some ponies.”

“That’s… ominous,” Rarity said, swallowing her nerves with an uneasy smile on her face.

Me on the other hoof… I was starting to seriously freak out! I was shaking like a leaf but I tried, I really tried, to not look like I was about to have an anxiety attack. I was still smiling but I felt like I was gonna melt into a puddle of sweat. The last thing I needed was a bunch of vindictive ponies trying to make me and Rarity look bad! I could make us look bad all on my own, THANKS!

“But I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Rarity,” Fancy said confidently, bolstering Rarity’s spirits noticeably. Wish I could say the same for me, but what’cha gonna do. “I’ve never known a more high-spirited, regal and unflappable pony as you.”

“You’ll absolutely get through this night with your head held high,” Fleur said with a gleaming smile. “And at the very least, we’ve got your back.”

“Thank you kindly,” Rarity gave a humbled bow and smiled gratefully at the pair. “Both of you. I have no doubts that my companion and I will make the most of tonight and we’ll have a grand time! Won’t we, Pinkie?” Rarity turned to me and had the most radiant smile on her face. I couldn’t bear to disappoint her, but…

“YYYYYEAH?” I said with a decidedly overeager grin and waaay too much volume. Ponies were looking at us now, and Rarity was looking at them instead of me. She was embarrassed, and I was starting to wish I hadn’t agreed to be her date. Rainbow would’ve made less of a scene. “I uh, I gotta get a drink,” I said abruptly and dashed away from Rarity and her two friends, making a beeline for the drink table.

As soon as I got there I grabbed a glass and dunked it into the punch bowl, then downed the whole drink in one gulp before refilling it and downing it in a single sip again… and again… and like three more times, but then the punch bowl was conspicuously empty so I had to look around for another one.

In my hasty search for more drinks to get my mind off my growing anxiety, I bumped into a pair of sharply dressed unicorns, like literally bumped into them. One of them was an olive mare with light purple hair, and the other was a bespectacled grey stallion with black hair.

“Uh, sorry,” I said awkwardly as I stumbled back.

“Your first time being at the Showcase, I take it?” the mare said skeptically, an eyebrow arched.

“Y—maybe,” I couldn’t exactly admit I was a total rube, but then again it was pretty obvious just by watching me. I wasn’t much of a gentlemare after all. I groaned and asked in a voice that was barely more than a whimper, “Is it that obvious?”

“Well, with that tacky little outfit?” the olive mare said with disdain, making my cheeks burn red hot in embarrassment as I recoiled from her judgment. “Yes.”

“Not to mention,” the gray stallion said with a chuckle, “the way you were guzzling your drink is not exactly a move that speaks of high class.”

“Yeah okay, I get—“

“And we saw the way you were trembling like a newborn foal when you were talking to Fancy Pants,” the mare continued, making me blush even harder as I lowered my head shamefully.

“Or rather, not talking to him,” the stallion said with a laugh, his companion laughing at me as well.

It didn’t uh… didn’t feel great??? Felt pretty lousy to be honest, getting laughed at like this after I tried so hard not to be a screw-up. I guess I was right all along, I’m just… I’m not good enough.

“Pinkie Pie, darling!” Rarity called out to me before I could hop on the ‘I hate myself depression coaster’ and grabbed my attention. When Rarity walked over to me she gave me a beautiful, calming smile before shooting the two unicorns I was talking to a nasty glare, but only for a second before her glimmering eyes returned to me again. “What are you doing over here, my sweet? I have some folks I’d like you to meet with me!”

“Uh, sure,” I said with a weak nod. “Right, I can… okay,” Rarity gave me a concerned smile and I managed to smile back at her and we left the mean unicorns behind… but their words stuck with me.

They basically confirmed everything I was afraid of… I didn’t belong here, and everyone knew it. I was just an embarrassment, a screw-up, a disaster waiting to happen that would ruin Rarity’s dream career forever…

“Pinkie Pie…” Rarity said as we walked back to the crowd of partygoers, “I don’t know what those two said to you, but try to take it with a grain of salt, okay?” Easy for her to say.

“I’ll try,” I responded with a forced smile.

****

-RARITY-

I don’t know what Jet Set and Upper Crust said to Pinkie Pie, but despite my warning it seemed to have quite a drastic effect on the poor girl’s mood. In the hour since their conversation I had tried to introduce Pinkie to at least four or five different industry icons, and every single first impression was blown.

An awkward hoofshake here, a badly timed joke there. She spilled a drink on one, for heaven’s sake!

I should have been mortified. I should have been terribly humiliated that the companion I had chosen to support me at this incredibly huge career opportunity was making a giant embarrassing goof of herself, but the more Pinkie failed to make good impressions, the more I realized I didn’t care.

Or rather… I didn’t care how anypony felt about me.

Ponies were undoubtedly judging me rather harshly for the way my date was acting, the way she was making a fool of herself, and of me by association, but the fact that I should have been bothered by this never crossed my mind for even a second. Pinkie Pie was my little guiding light, my shining star…

I… I was… I felt…

Ahem.

Well, the point is… I took Pinkie aside and found a quiet garden off the corner of the party grounds for us to be alone, or at least alone enough. There were a few other ponies, mostly couples looking for a brief respite from the gauntlet of networking, in the garden alongside us but it was secluded enough that I felt the time and place were right to make sure Pinkie was… that she was still with me.

The poor dear was trying so desperately not to show how frazzled she was but she was visibly trembling and on the verge of tears by the time we sat down on the lip of an ornate fountain.

Before I could even open my mouth to speak, Pinkie blurted out “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorr—“

“Pinkie, that’s enough,” I gently placed my hoof over my friend’s muzzle to silence her for her own good. “You do realize I’m not upset with you at all?”

“But I keep messing everything up!” Pinkie pleaded, tears brimming her beautiful blue eyes. “I keep bungling everything and making everything harder than it needs to be. I’m ruining your night.”

“You are not ruining anything, Pinkie Pie,” I said, sternly yet comfortingly as I removed my companion’s hat and ran my hoof softly and comfortingly through her curly pink mane. “I care about you so much more than I do about these silly fashion ponies.”

“But this was your big chance!” Pinkie said desperately, those tears that had been on the edges of her eyes now falling down her cheeks before meeting my hoof as I wiped them away gently from her face.

“I know,” I said, my cheeks starting to heat up and my heart beginning to thump practically out of my chest as I mustered the nerve to speak the words I knew I needed to say. “But Pinkie Pie, during the course of this evening, I… I’ve realized there’s something I care about a great deal more than just my career. This night is far from ruined if I can find the strength in myself to act on what it is I truly desire…”

“Of course you have the strength!” Pinkie insisted, sounding shocked at the very notion that I might be doubting myself. “You’re the strongest, smartest, coolest, most beautifullest pony I know!” Pinkie’s cheeks turned red and she looked away from me awkwardly, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “So uh…” she said nervously, “what is the thing that you’re really after? If it’s not your career, then what is it?”

The moonlight was shining down upon Pinkie like the glow of a heavenly angel, there was naught for sound around us but the serene music of the rushing water fountain behind us and a cool, refreshing breeze blew through the garden as I found the perfect time and opportunity to say the words that I had been holding back for so long…

It’s you, darling. I love you.

I didn’t get to say those words.

Suddenly, without any warning, Pinkie was assaulted by a falling cake that splattered all over her out of nowhere, only to be washed away by a falling punch bowl that landed on top of her head and drenched her from head to hoof.

“Oh, sorry about that!” Upper Crust said with a haughty laugh, her laughter soon being mirrored by every pony in a bloody ten foot radius. “I’m afraid my hoof slipped.”

All eyes were on Pinkie now and the little pink pony knew it. She looked around to try and see if there was even a single pony who wasn’t watching her and laughing, but she couldn’t find one other than me.

She tried to keep a brave face, a smile barely kept upon her lips, but it didn’t last long before she broke down into tears and ran away, weeping loudly as she ran from the party as fast as she could.

I didn’t hesitate to chase after her, not even for a second, but…

“Look at Rarity, running off after that little pink buffoon!” Upper Crust jeered. “Do you think they came to Canterlot in a clown car?” her pathetic jest was enough to get the tired, elitist Canterlot ponies in another uproar of laughter, and it was just enough to make me slam on my hooves and stop in my tracks.

Upper Crust’s laughter was immediately silenced by the glare I gave her, and Jet Set followed suit.

“Now hold on, Rarity,” Upper Crust said desperately, stumbling backward as I moved to approach her, “let’s be civil about this!”

“Civil?!” I snarled. “I think the time for civility has passed, thank you very much! Although perhaps you’re right, allow me to be polite and offer you a drink!” I grabbed Upper Crust in my magic and threw her into the fountain, the resulting splash drenching several chortling ponies nearby.

I turned my gaze to Jet Set who wasted no time in trying to run away, but it was no challenge to capture him in my magic as well. Although throwing him into the fountain wouldn’t do, the repetition would be too tedious. I was better than that. The dessert cart though? Yes, that would be perfect.

I launched Jet Set into the dessert cart and couldn’t help a satisfied smirk from gracing my lips as he landed smack dab in the middle of a large cake, sinking into the many layers of frosting and staining his oh so fancy clothing in the process. The stallion pitifully crawled out of the confection and gasped, “You ruined my suit!”

“That tacky thing was ruined the moment it was put on you,” I said haughtily, flicking back my mane.

The other partygoers cheered for my wit and bravado but that just made me sneer. I don’t know if they were truly that cutthroat or if they were just trying to avoid my wrath but it mattered not. They all laughed at my darling Pinkie Pie, made her feel like less than nothing… I would go tend to her very shortly but I couldn’t let a crime so cruel go unpunished.

I gathered up every dessert, snack, main course and hors d’oeuvre, gathered the punch bowls, the cider, the sparkling water and the wine… every food and drink that was within my reach were all snatched up into my magic and brought together into the air above the party.

I could see ponies beginning to flee, seeing what was in store for them… better make this fast.

With all the food and drink now hovering over the party, I crushed it all in my magic… and let it explode.

As it rained exploded food and drink all over the party and its many stuffy guests, drenching me in a mixture of drinks and gross cakey lumps of food, I stood up on a table and declared, “This is what happens when you mess with Rarity of Ponyville and her precious pink paramour!" I held my head high and turned it away with a sneer. "I go!”

I jumped off the table and proudly landed on my hooves, the screaming and disgusted groaning of the tired fashion elite acting as triumphant mood music to accompany my grand egress.

I turned back to the party one last time with a smirk and my smile widened as I saw Fancy Pants and Fleur, both absolutely smothered in food and drink, waving at me with bright smiles. I’m glad at least they could forgive me, and that they appreciated my gesture. They wouldn’t be forgetting this Showcase any time soon.

****

-PINKIE PIE-

After running away from the party area I eventually found a great big tree on top of a big hill that overlooked the city of Canterlot. It was a beautiful, breathtaking view and the perfect place to curl up into a ball and cry hysterically!

I discarded my soaked, caked clothes and threw them in a big heap beside me as I laid down and just started sobbing uncontrollably. And loudly. Very, very loudly.

Like, I think I went over all the reasons I had to be weeping like a big pink baby. I was a total idiot moron loser screw-up that ruined Rarity’s night and her career and everything, and to top it all off, thanks to those two big meanie-head jerks, everypony knew what a worthless garbage heap idiot jerk moron loser dumb stupid-head I was and was laughing at me.

I don’t keep any kinda record of the worst experiences in my life, but I have to imagine this was in the top ten at least.

I don’t know how long I’d been sitting there curled up into a ball sobbing into an ever growing pool of my own tears before a clean handkerchief suddenly appeared in front of my face, hovering in the air surrounded by a blue aura.

I looked up and saw the blurry image of a familiar white unicorn, offering me a bright smile as she stood over me with the handkerchief. It was only after I took it and blew my nose that I rubbed the tears out of my eyes and noticed that Rarity was absolutely smothered in desserts and drinks, her fur and dress completely soaked through.

“Oh no…” I said weepily, my face twisting into a frown as the tears started coming back in full force. “They got you too?”

“Hm?” Rarity tilted her head quizzically and seemed genuinely surprised by my words. She looked at herself and laughed, that beautiful Rarity laugh that made me feel like everything was gonna be okay, and batted her hoof. “Oh this? No, darling. I got them! I just…” she looked at herself again and laughed, which made me smile, “I got a teensy bit carried away.”

“Sorry I missed it,” I said with a giggle and a loud sniffle.

“I’m sorry too,” Rarity’s smile vanished and I scooched over so she could sit next to me under the big tree. “This wasn’t what I wanted this night to be like at all.”

“Rarity, I’m—“

“Pinkie Pie, if you dare apologize to me I’ll—“ Rarity stopped and furrowed her brow, tapping a hoof against her cheek for a moment. “Well, I’ll give you a very disapproving look.”

“Why? I messed everything up for you,” I said sadly, hanging my head in shame. “Just like I knew I would. I really tried to be the perfect gentlemare so I wouldn’t embarrass you… but it just blew up in my face.”

“You didn’t mess anything up, my dearest,” Rarity said with the most enchanting smile. It made me blush, but not nearly as much as the delicate touch of her hoof under my chin as she raised my head up to look into her gorgeous deep blue eyes. Holy moley, she is SO pretty! “I have absolutely zero interest in working with anypony who would treat my friends so shamefully.”

I couldn’t help but smile as my eyes remained locked with Rarity’s. My heart was ba-bumping so fast I felt like it was gonna jump right into my throat then out my mouth and run off with a little suitcase to board the next train back to Ponyville, plus my face and then my whole body was starting to feel like I was inside of an oven… but like on the sun.

But it was nice.

There was a gentle breeze… and for one moment the only things that existed in my world were me and Rarity.

“Besides,” Rarity tilted her head back and gave a sly grin, “Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee rather enjoyed my little performance. I’m sure my other friends from Canterlot and elsewhere will forgive me as well. So really, the only casualty of this night was my Gala dress.”

“Oh no, Rarity, I’m so sorr—“

“Ah ah!” Rarity said, putting her hoof against my muzzle. “What did I tell you about apologies? Apologies are for when you’ve done something wrong.”

“Still,” I said sadly as I gently pushed Rarity’s hoof away, delighting for a tiny smidgen of a moment when our hoofs pressed against each other, “I know how much that dress means to you.”

“Perhaps,” Rarity sighed and a perky smile graced her lips, “but I have gained something even more precious this night, and if it required me to trade this dress for it, than I would do so again a thousand times over, in a heartbeat.”

“What did you gain?” I said with a confusedly arched eyebrow.

“Enlightenment, I suppose you could say,” Rarity said with a coy smirk, giving me a look that was equal parts penetrating and… oddly inviting. “I learned something… about myself. Something I had been hiding for… goodness, I don’t even know for how long.”

“Wow, what is it?” I said excitedly. All my anxiety and sadness were, for at least a moment, replaced by eager anticipation and excitement for Rarity. “What did you learn about yourself?”

“I learned that…” Rarity took a deep breath, no doubt to increase the dramatic tension of course, and it was working! I was on the edge of my seat, unconsciously leaning into Rarity’s words until our noses were almost pressed up against one another!

She let her breath go in a contented sigh and I could hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. She looked me straight in the eye with the coolest, most radiant and gosh darn gorgeous smile I’d seen from her all night, or ever for that matter, and time completely stopped as I just took a moment to appreciate how beautiful she was!

And then she spoke.

“I love you.”

I…

I would’ve sworn that my heart stopped if I couldn’t still hear it beating. I’d been leaning closer and closer to her but now I was leaning back, staring at her silently with wide eyes. She was gonna think I didn’t like her or something but I… I had no idea how to react to that.

No way did I hear that right!

Rarity let out a very awkward, very loud forced laugh and said, “You know, I’ve dreamt about a moment just like this since I was a filly. Dreamt about the day I would confess my love for a very special somepony. I’ve written dramatic speeches about how they would presumably make me feel, I’ve practically written entire epic poems about them sweeping me off my feet and me wooing them in return and now…” she laughed again nervously and brushed some hair out of her face, “Now I don’t even know what to say.”

“I—I, I, I, I… I—“

Nice going, Pinkie. Real smooth talker, ain’t ya?

“Perhaps…” Rarity’s expression hardened as she took a deep breath with closed eyes, and I felt like I was going to throw up as I suddenly filled with panic thinking that I blew it and missed my one shot to gain Rarity’s affection… but her smile returned after she let her breath go and she locked eyes with me, “…words simply won’t do in this situation. Perhaps actions shall have to suffice in their stead. So Pinkie Pie… may I be so bold as to share a kiss with you?”

I couldn’t nod my head hard enough or fast enough. My dang noggin was practically about to fall off I was shaking it up and down so hard. Rarity giggled and placed a dainty hoof over her mouth as her cheeks turned bright pink. That couldn’t have been because of me, and yet… it had to have been. I made Rarity blush, wow!

I steadied myself, stopping my nod with my hooves and catching my breath anxiously as I looked into Rarity’s eyes. It was tough but… they were so blue and so beautiful and so amazing, it was even harder to look away from them.

Rarity leaned in, I leaned toward her. I closed my eyes first and then… I felt her lips pressed against mine, and our noses touched.

We smooched.

I was kissing Rarity.

I. Was kissing.RARITY.

I feel like this is the part where I’m supposed to explain in lavish romantic detail how it felt to kiss my crush for the first time, how it felt to kiss anypony for the first time, but uhhhhhhh… it was amazing, obviously, I mean it was Rarity after all, but like??????

It was overwhelming. My heart was overflowing with so many emotions that my head couldn’t register them all, it was like someone launched a firework directly inside my brain stem. It was a lot. But it was amazing.

When I came to we had already split apart and my eyes opened slowly to see Rarity blushing furiously and chuckling softly, a hoof over her lips and her eyes darting from the sky to the ground to me before instantly darting away from me. I couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“W-wow,” I said in a very undignified manner, blushing with embarrassment as soon as I heard myself.

“Mm-hmm,” Rarity said with a bashful smirk. “Took the words right out of my mouth, to be honest.”

“Y-you’ve defninetly—“ I cleared my throat very loudly and abruptly and I felt my cheeks burning up again. “I mean, you've definitely kissed other ponies before, that wasn’t, that wasn’t your f-forst—your first, right?”

“No, no it was not my first kiss,” Rarity said, fluttering her eyelashes at me and nearly making my poor gay heart explode. “However… I’d say you’re probably the best kisser I have ever kissed.”

“Wh—“ I backed up and hit my rump against one of the gnarled legs of the big tree. “You’re just flattering me!”

“Perhaps,” Rarity said coyly with a hoof covering her lips. “But the only way to know for sure is to keep kissing you.”

“Well, I mean,” I coughed loudly and looked away, a stupid doofus grin spreading all the way across my silly pink face, “I guess that wouldn’t be the worst th—“

Before I could finish my sentence, Rarity’s lips were pressed against mine again, the white mare practically on top of me. I melted in her embrace and let myself slip to the ground, Rarity standing straight over me and gently pressing her lips against mine and touching our noses together.

I couldn’t help but giggle, and Rarity started giggling too before nuzzling her head tenderly against the side of my neck.

“I love you,” she said softly. “And I hope I can look forward to saying that to you many more times.”

“Of course you can!” I said eagerly, looking up into her beautiful blue eyes. “Cuz I…” I’d been waiting to say this to Rarity for eons but now that the time was here I nearly choked, but I was determined to get the words out!!

“Rarity!” I said a little too noisily, my voice cracking and causing Rarity’s eyes to widen in alarm. She quickly replaced her concerned expression with a gentle smile and playful arched eyebrow and I said, “I love you!”

“I love you too, my dearest,” Rarity said and kissed me for a third time.

I got back up off the ground and sat next to Rarity, the two of us just quietly looking over the big city and all its twinkling lights. I couldn't help looking at the brightest light in the city though (which was her, obviously!), and after another moment where I just stared into Rarity’s eyes, I let my gaze wander and saw the sad state her dress was in. “I still feel bad about your dress.”

“Oh this?” Rarity looked at the dress and scoffed. “Eh, a little TLC and this gorgeous garment of mine will be good as new. Still though… it might take some time and effort… I could use some assistance.”

“Ooh! I could help you!” I said exuberantly, a bright smile on my face.

“Could you?” Rarity said and fluttered her eyelashes. “I mean, even with the two of us, it would probably take us allllll night,” she said with a demure smile.

“Oh,” I giggled but tried to keep my cool and say in a cheerfully teasing tone, “you and me together all night, alone, in the Boutique?”

“That’s right,” Rarity said with a wink and a bright smile. “What do you say, my precious pink paramour?”

“I say…” I beamed at her, “it’s a date.”

Author's Note

Sometimes ya wanna write dramatic fiction about interpersonal conflict and fighting your inner demons. Other times ya just wanna do a fluffy romance with your two faves.

This is kinda sorta a pseudo-sequel to Rainbow's First Date (hence the reference to their relationship; I like continuity, what can I say)
Who knows, maybe in six more months I'll do that TwiJack story I've been sitting on. Huehe.