Daddy, Why Do I Get Boners When I Poop?

by moviemaster8510

Rating: mature
Tags: Sad, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life
Length: 5057

A budding, sexually-confused colt speaks with his single father, leading him to tell his son the long-kept secret of where he truly comes from.

Chili Pot is a budding unicorn colt who finds himself having unfortunate episodes at school whenever he uses the bathroom, which he has been able to keep secret before experiencing a particularly messy incident. Frustrated, Chili asks his earth pony father the one question that he yearns to know the answer to. His father then decides to disclose to him a dark secret that he's kept about his son since he was born, a secret that will change everything about Chili's life forever.

Clicking on this story to read it means everything is your fault.

Published 2018-06-17 15:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-17 15:40:06 UTC

I Love You, You Little Piece of Shit

Chili Pot sat himself comfortably on the toilet, the stall walls and doors protecting him from curious foal’s eyes that allowed him some privacy. He even had the great fortune of being alone inside the school bathroom for the first time it what seemed like forever. With a deep breath, he let the echo of his exhale ring out as he contracted the muscles of his ass, feeling last night’s dinner pass out of his anus and slide into the water inside the toilet bowl.

Perhaps today will finally be a normal poop, the colt thought to himself. If I can just have a normal–

Then, the smell hit. Chili Pot was so zen that he mistakenly took a nice big whiff of the shit that had freshly left his body. The smell was revolting, as all shits were, but Chili Pot couldn’t help but begin breathing more excitedly as the particularly pungent odor cycled in and out through his nose. With his second helping begging to be let out, Chili Pot obeyed his body’s commands as he squeezed out another dense, malodorous log.

Chili Pot began to quietly weep, hating that he suddenly found his own shit’s stench and the stretching of the inside of his anus so intoxicating. He then yelped as the tip of his dick touched the inner rim of the porcelain bowl, forcing him to pull outside the toilet. As it expanded and elongated, blood and pleasure coursing through it, Chili Pot’s fearful cries became moans of pleasure as his dick throbbed with teasing tingles.

The poor colt took deep silent breaths, the ever-growing size of his erection reaching a length and hardness that it had never done before. Up until now, he had only made it slightly bigger than half-chub and could reign his hormones in and finish his business before he raised suspicion, but now he felt like he was about to explode in ecstasy. He had to do something before the teacher’s aide would come in wondering what was taking him so long.

Chili Pot pulled on the chain from the tank above the wall, hoping that he could flush his excrement and the torment it caused him away. With the swirl and the jets of water breaking the shit apart to be drained away, it only blasted the smell upward, which Chili Pot could almost feel like a putrid wind. Chili Pot wailed loudly as his dick ached tremendously, begging to ejaculate. With loud bawling, he was compelled to put his hooves on both sides of his dick and jerk it up and down. As his orgasm neared, he used his unicorn horn’s magic to yank on the toilet paper roll beside him, unraveling almost half of it. Wadding up whatever he could in his hooves, he pressed the ball of toilet paper against the tip of his cock and waited for the inevitable.

What Chili Pot wasn’t expecting right after the last contraction was his semen bouncing off the paper and exploding onto his hooves, his light-blue chest, and the stall walls confining him. Mortified into petrification, the jizz his paper wad did catch began to ooze onto his legs and the bathroom floor. Right now, it didn’t matter that there was no one else in here to be witness to his embarrassing moment; it would only be a matter of time.

Crying loudly, he hopped off the toilet and threw his sticky paper ball into the toilet before throwing the door open and galloping out of the bathroom as fast as he could.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Stew Pot sat at his favorite chair, enjoying his pipe beside the fireplace. The life of a single dad was challenging, but the late mornings and early afternoons he had to himself were a perfectly long enough reprieve. Looking up at the mantle, he spotted the photograph of himself and a far younger Chili Pot who was just barely tall enough for the bottom of the frame, as well as a frame beside it holding a perfect report card from the previous year. As rewarding as these moments of tranquility were, they couldn’t hold a candle to the reward of such a bright, beautiful son.

At that moment, the front door burst open, the sudden burst of volume making him spit the pipe onto the floor. Spinning around, he just caught Chili Pot leaping up the stairs, his pants struggling to mask the hoarseness of his saddened cries.

“Chili?” Stew Pot hoisted himself up off his seat and trotted to the stairs, a strange scent just barely lingering where the colt had ran up. “Chili, what’s going on?”

Bounding up the stairs, he went to his son’s room, which was precariously open and vacant. He then heard the sound of the tub’s faucet running, leading him to the bathroom.
“Chili?” He knocked on the door, hearing only the splashing of water inside. “Chili, why aren’t you at school?”

“It’s… it’s nothing!” Stew Pot could tell from his voice alone that wasn’t the case. “Just please, leave me alone!”

“Son, get out here now and explain yourself!”

“Please, daddy, just… give me a minute here!”

Stepping back, Stew Pot gave himself enough room to turn around and force the door open with a single buck. Storming inside, he found Chili huddled inside the quarter filled tub with his chest particularly messy from some kind of scrubbing. Just as he came toward the tub, the pungent yeasty odor assaulted Stew Pot’s nostrils, forcing him to put his hoof onto his nose and turn away.

“Chili!” he grunted. “What did you do?”

“I’m sorry, daddy… I couldn’t help it…”

Finally able to turn back around, Stew Pot looked to his son as he bawled, resigning himself to lie on his side and huddle up as the water continued to rise around him. Stew Pot knew his son wouldn’t have done anything like what he just did without good reason, and there was no use getting upset at him for it.

Taking his hoof off his nose, he walked to the tub much more calmly, grabbing the bottle of shampoo placed on one of the tub’s inner corners. “Come on, let’s clean you off.”

As Stew Pot drizzled the soapy syrup onto his son’s chest, Chili Pot mustered the strength to pick himself back up, and grab the brush with his magic, scrubbing the crusted clumps still left in his fur.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Chili Pot sat at the edge of his bed, the towel wrapped around him keeping him warm as it soaked up the remaining moisture on him. Stew Pot took a seat beside him, groaning as he did, now able to relax once again.

“Now, please, tell me what happened.”

Chili Pot glanced down. Even with his father knowing the gist of it, he still didn’t know where to begin. “Daddy? Do you ever get boners when you poop?”

Stew Pot blinked hard, not remotely prepared for such a question. “Chili, I mean… Where did you even–”

“Well, I am! I don’t know why and it scares me!”

“I mean… have you already begun feeling… changes, down there?”

Chili Pot shrugged and cocked his head, both certain and uncertain at the same time. “I know I’m reaching that age where colts start going into puberty and start… but… I mean why is it only happening when I poop?! That’s just messed up!”

Stew Pot glanced upward, prepared to become vulnerable. “To be honest, I’ve had times when I’ve taken really big dumps and it made me feel super relaxed, but… I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s not… that?”

The colt shook his head. “For the past few weeks, every time I poop, my… I just get super aroused. And it’s not just the feeling of my poop getting, you know, pooped out. It’s gotten to the point where even the smell makes me, like… swell up down there. And today, my poop was really stinky; stinkier than I’ve ever smelled before. And then I tried to flush it, but that just made the smell even more intense and… I just couldn’t help it! I got it over the walls and the floor!”

Stew Pot wanted to say something, but he already had a good idea of what was happening, staying silent and motionless as his son continued explaining the situation.

“I tried to catch it with toilet paper, but it sprayed off and it got everywhere! I got scared about the teacher or the principal or my friends finding out, so I ran home! It was the only thing I could think of. I’m sorry!”

Stew Pot looked off to the side, more so out of melancholy than shame or resentment, although Chili Pot couldn’t exactly pick up on that.

“Daddy? Do you hate me?”

Stew Pot couldn’t help but chuckle at such a ridiculous question. Turning back around with his eyes moistening, he grabbed his son and he held him tight. “Of course not, Chili! Why would I hate you for something over this?”

“How can you not? I know the school and my friends are going to–”

“They’re not going to anything. You don’t have to worry about that!”

“How am I supposed to explain this to them? You’re my dad! How am I supposed to go back to school after what I did?”

Chili Pot held onto his father and sobbed into his chest, the only remnant of safety he had left. Stew Pot held his son on tighter as his own tears began to flow. He knew this day was coming, but he wasn’t ready for it today.

“You’re not…” Stew Pot let go of his now confused son. “There’s something I need to tell you that I’ve been keeping a secret up until now.”

“What…” Chili Pot continued scooting closer. “What is it?”

“I’ve never really talked about the day you were born, and I’m especially certain we’ve never talked about your… real mother.”

Chili Pot set his sandwich down, suddenly comfortable with his dad’s nearness. “My real mother? But… you told me she died when I was a baby.”

“I’m sorry, but that was never true.”

Chili Pot suddenly stood up, backing away from him. “You mean, my mom’s still alive?!” Then it dawned on him. “But… what does that have to do with me getting boners when–”

“Please, sit back down.”

Patting the space where he sat, Stew Pot beckoned his son back over and put his arm around his back, savoring his being beside him once more.

“The truth is… the woman that would have been your mother died before you were even born. Got some really nasty illness that made her too week to stand after a few days until she finally succumbed.”

“Then… where’s my real mother?”

Stew Pot’s hold on his son became greater, the truly unbelievable part of the story about to be told.

“When my wife died, I was beside myself. Not only for the loss of her, but the foal she carried inside of her. I didn’t think I could carry on without either, so I became so desperate.”

“Dad, seriously, what does this have to do with–”

“I went to see a zebra that lived on the outskirts of town, claiming she had a way to give me a son. She gave me a small jar with two beans inside of it. She told me to eat one bean at that moment and then another when… ‘she’ told me to.”

“‘She?’” Chili Pot looked up to him. “Is that my real mother?”

With a strained nod, he confirmed this. “I then went up to this hill, this very hill… when I met her.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It was late at night as Stew Pot stood atop the hill waiting for whatever powers the bean he consumed would show to him. He’d been standing for what felt like hours, his loneliness aided only by the sounds of his stomach grumbling every so often. Suddenly, a cramp shot into his gut that left Stew Pot doubling over, the gurgling in his stomach loud enough to frighten some nearby birds out of the trees.

It felt like something was expanding and filling its way through Stew Pot’s digestive tract, and as whatever dwelled inside him continued its way out, Stew Pot was forced to let out long, high-pitched farts that failed to stop the intense pain in his belly. It wasn’t much longer until he felt something push against the inside of his anus, and without a bathroom or an outhouse in sight, Stew Pot had no choice but to push the tremendous poop trying to exit him as if it had a mind of its own.

Stew Pot’s anus spread wide as a solid, gargantuan shit the width of a full-grown stallion’s hoof began to slide out and lower to the grass like a large rope. Stew Pot let out cries of both pain and utter confusion as he continued pumping out more shit than what he felt a normal pony could hold. Even as he eased his muscles to give his ass a break, the shit continued pushing its way out, forming a swirling mountain of shit that threatened to rise taller than him.

He looked back at the massive poop as it began to shift about, the air pockets that formed popping a spreading out its unconscionable stench. Stew Pot was certain that the shit was melting, but as it rose and began taking some kind of form, he was too shocked to continue pushing, only able to watch as his impossibly large shit began to writhe about on the ground.

At long last, the last of his poop slipped out and plopped to the floor. The frightened Stew Pot hopped away and turned around to watch the last of his load slither to join the rest of it. Stew Pot’s horror and fascination only grew by the second as his shit began to compress further in than it already was as four limbs sprouted up from it as if pulled up by an unseen force. A portion of one of the ends began to stretch out and form what was clearly a unicorn mare’s head. The rest of its body melded and shaped into that of a large muscular pony without any real defining features other than its now smooth, unblemished body made entirely of shit.

It then scared him by quickly rolling to her hooves and bending its legs as if it was straining out a massive shit of its own. Several hole then opened up, from the top of its head down to the back of the base of its neck, along with a larger one where the base of the tail should be. Several smaller, stringier shits were pushed out from the top of the neck as a larger one came out the back forming a mane and tail made from the shit. Then, to Stew Pot’s added surprise, the shit mane and shit tail began to fray out until they became what appeared to be a perfectly washed straw-yellow mane and tail.

Its shit body also began to flake out until it separated to form a short, but velvety coat colored a chocolate brown. If it wasn’t for the fact that this pony came from Stew Pot’s own ass, he would have easily mistaken her for any other pony, and she looked somewhat stunning in her own way.

“Are you the one called Stew Pot?” She asked, her voice also far more lovely than her origin.

“How…” Stew Pot was almost at a loss for words. “How do you know my name?”

“I’m made from you,” she simply answered. “It seems that your names should be the very least of what I know about you.”

“What even are you?”

“My name is Excretia. I am the dark spirit of everything that leaves the body of a pony after they consume it.”

“Spirit of…”

Excretia pursed her lips in mild frustration. “Why have you summoned me? I assume you have a purpose her other than asking questions about me.”

“But… didn’t you just say that you know about me?”

She then smirked at him, which left him conflicted over whether he should be frightened or proud to have made her do that. “Yes, you’re here to seek a child to replace the one that was torn from you by the cruel hooves of fate.”

“Yes… And you can give me this?” She responded with a single nod. “How? What must I do?”

“The same thing every stallion looking to make a child must do.” Excretia then turned around and flicked her tail aside to reveal her winking pussy, a hot flesh color just like her puckering anus.

Stew Pot took in a hard breath. “What? I have to rut you?”

“Stew Pot, please, we both know it’s not the first time you’ve done this. You know what to do.”

Stew Pot looked down and away, the very fact that he was considering this insane to him. “I… I don’t think I can–”

“Then let me help.” Along with the crackles in Excretia’s shifting voice, Stew Pot also saw her body change before him.

Morphing from a brown-coated unicorn with a lighter-colored mane and tail, she now sported a blueberry coat with a jet black mane and tail, a sight that left his legs trembling

“Ho… Honey?”

“I am not your late wife,” Excretia reminded him, “but you deserve to mate with the likeness of her. That much I can give you. Now come, Stew Pot. Your child awaits you.”

With the equally black pussy spreading at him, Stew Pot was over come with his emotions as his cock slid out from its sheath, unable resist the sex of the one he loved. He then resolved to mount this doppelganger and insert his dick into her. Whether it be that she was in her exact likeness or that he also was having sex with the enchanted, animated shit that came out of his own body, it only served to increase his pleasure.

The smell of shit and the overly-loud sounds of wet sloshing began to fill the air, but with his body rubbing against Excretia’s flawless fur, he found it easy to muscle through it. After a few short minutes, Stew Pot came into Excretia, and continued to lay atop of her until he was certain most of his seed was drained out from him. As he slid off, he looked to the shit spirit, who lowered herself to her stomach as her belly began to bulge.

Stew Pot slowly shook his head slowly as he watched a nearly year-long process unfold before him in a matter of seconds. She then began to contract as her belly receded in, the offspring of their act pushing its way to her rear. Rather than come out of her vagina, he was somehow shocked to see a head crown out of her asshole before she easily slid the rest of their baby out and onto the ground.

With short, stunned breaths, Stew Pot grabbed his mewling, shit-smeared boy and cradled him in his arms. Sure, he smelled like the anus he was birthed from, but nothing a bath upon returning home couldn’t fix.

“I just…” Stew Pot was at a near loss for words. “Thank you. How can I ever repay you.”

With a pulse of her butt muscles, a single bean popped out from Excretia’s butthole and bounced to the ground where Chili Pot sat with his son. “Before his 15thbirthday, I must be reunited with him. He will then have to make the choice of whether he wishes to stay with you or return with me, and believe me, the choice shall be harder for him than you may expect. Consume that bean when you yourself are ready to fulfill your end of the bargain. Until then, farewell Stew Pot…”

Excretia began to stretch out until she more closely resembled a snake rather than a pony. As such, her body, began to turn dirty and soft, transforming into the long tremendous shit that Stew Pot had conjured. To his surprise, she pushed under his ass and sent it up to open the path to his anus. Stew Pot put his child down on the ground as the sentient shit fed back into his ass. Groaning and moaning as his intestines were filled up with her, his sphincter was pressed in on in such a way that the stallion could not help but get aroused. With each inch that pumped and slid its way in, he could feel his erection push up against his stomach as Excretia pushed against it from within.

With the last foot left, the shit snake shot in all at once before every ounce of shit spirit inside of him evaporated into nothing. With his ordeal over, he felt safe to crawl over to his son and sit back down, picking him up and holding him in his lap with his arms resting on his boner.

Stew Pot let out a chuckle, still unable to believe it. “Welcome to the world…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Chili Pot,” his dad concluded. “What I just told you may sound unbelievable, but I did indeed invoke a spirit of poop just to bring you into the world. If this sounds shocking, or you’re upset by any of this, I understand, it’s just–”

“No…” Chili Pot looked the most at peace than he had all day. “It all makes total sense. Why else would I not be attracted to other mares and stallions my age at this point? It’s just… I want to meet her.”

“You… what?”

“That’s right. I want to meet Excretia, my real mother. And I’m still a year or so away from 15, but I mean, she never said we couldn’t do it earlier!”

“Are you sure about this, son? She said that your choice may be a difficult one.”

“What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I pick you, daddy? I love you!”

Chili Pot threw himself onto his dad to give him a hug, one that Stew Pot was more than happy to return. “And I love you, you… little piece of shit.”

The two laughed at the pun, holding each other all the while. With his son’s confidence giving him the strength to get up off the bed, he began to walk out of the bedroom.

“Come on, son. I have the bean in the kitchen.”

As he fully exited, Chili Pot swung off his bed to follow his father out and down the stairs.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Chili Pot stood at the edge of the living room beside all the furniture, leaving Stew Pot inside the otherwise barren space with the single bean resting on his hoof. With a calming inhale and exhale, the stallion popped the bean in his mouth and swallowed it whole.

Chili and Stew Pot stood for several seconds for what felt like an eternity before a loud gurgling could be heard from his stomach. Chili Pot could hear the noise as if it came from his own body, already feeling a tingle in his nethers. A sweat began to form on his dad’s brow as his forelegs buckled over and his back legs spread wide to give as much room for the shit that he could feel was already slithering through him.

A tight, high-pitched fart tweeted out of Stew Pots ass before it was cut short by the poop. As it came out as a single, dense load that coiled onto the floor, Chili Pot was breathing heavily, overcome by his hormones as his dick practically leapt out of his sheath. As more and more shit came out of Stew Pot’s ass, Chili Pot hugged his erect cock to himself, hoping the flex he felt would give him enough pleasure to not ejaculate, despite how badly his dick throbbed.

As the last of the shit spilled out and onto the wooden floor, it began to meld and morph into an equine shape, her more detailed features forming from her neck and above her ass before her fur, mane, and tail took form before the two. With her now standing there, Chili Pot stood in awe as Excretia looked to him, her maternal instincts making her smile as though she had been a mother to him all this time.

“My son!” Holding an arm up, Chili Pot ran to her with an ecstatic smile and put both arms around her, the shit spirit giggling as his still-hard horsedick prodded her. “Ooh, frisky one, aren’t you?”

“Momma! I still can’t believe this.” With his nose against her fur, he took a strong whiff, his dick tensing up further at the scent of a freshly dropped deuce. “Wow, you smell so good!”

Stew Pot was forced to smile, offput by the reunion.

“Yes, my child, and you can come and live with me if you wish.”

Chili Pot pulled away slightly. “But, I want to live with my–”

“And you can do that to if you wish, but if you no longer want to feel ashamed at what you’re attracted to, where you can live your life truly happy, all you must do is to come with me.”

“But…” Chili Pot was now faced with a truly difficult dilemma, looking back to his dad with worry. “But Daddy…”

“It’s okay, son. You choose whatever your heart desires.” Stew Pot’s eyes began to water, wanting to still be strong and supportive of his son’s decision. “No matter who you choose to go with, I’ll always be your father, and I will always love you.”

“Are… are you sure?”

“Go on, Chili Pot. Make your choice.”

Chili Pot stepped away and stood between Stew Pot and Excretia, glancing back at them both with crippling indecision. He then looked to his father, who nodded back to him. Smiling warmly, he then faced Excretia and took a step forward. Happy with his decision, the shit spirit smiled and nodded to him before turning around and standing wide, her pulsing anus facing him tantalizingly.

Then, the entire lower half of her body began to expand twice its normal size, the asshole puffing up even wider. She then let out a giant shit that was just as wide as Chili Pot’s body, which slid out a foot or so on the floor before stopping. Chili Pot stared at this shit knowing that what he was compelled to do to it would be a point of no return, but with a slit opening up inside the poop and widening into a luscious pussy, Chili Pot was pushed.

Chili Pot dove onto the shit, his dick sliding into the poop vagina as his arms and legs wrapped around its girth. Stew Pot wept as his son made his final decision, finding it difficult to watch him leave. As Chili Pot continued fucking the poop, his body began to turn brown and hairless as he too began to turn to shit. Stew Pot cried even harder as the son he could hardly recognize began to become one with his mother’s enchanted excretion, like two pieces of gum chewed back together.

With his body sinking in, all that remained of Chili Pot was a brown protrusion that was once its horn, and a single somber eye that took one last glance back at his dad. With the eye closing and the melding complete, Excretia began to pull the shit back into her anus. Stew Pot looked one last time as the massive log was pulled up off the ground and was lifted back toward Excretia’s ass. However, with only a few inches, left, the retraction stopped, Excretia aghast that she could not pull any more back in.

“What is this?!” she gasped.

Just then a single light light-blue hoof secreted out from the secretion, pulling more shit out of her ass with it. Stew Pot felt a rising hope inside of him as another hoof came out from the shit and pulled it apart, revealing Chili Pot’s face and head, as furry and normal as ever though smeared with slimy brown.

“Daddy!” The shit entrapping Chili Pot was cut off of Excretia’s ass, bringing both to the ground with a muted plop. “I changed my mind! I want to stay with you!”

Not even bothering to wipe the thick layer of shit still stuck to his back and legs, Chili Pot ran to his dad and the two embraced, Stew Pot not caring the least bit about the poop wrapping around his arms as he pressed through to hug his son tight.

Excretia turned around as her body turned to normal, facing the loving two-bit family. “So this is the life you choose, Chili Pot? You know that you may never live a normal life again after this?”

“Who needs normal when I’ve got him?” Chili Pot couldn’t even look to his birth mother as he continued receiving his father’s affection.

Excretia sighed. “Very well. I wish you two the very best. Stew Pot, perhaps you want to prepare yourself this time?”

Stew Pot pulled away from his son and nodded to him promisingly. Turning around and sticking his ass out for her, Excretia moaned as she stretched her form out into a shitty tube that flew into the stallion’s ass. Chili Pot watched as his mother disappeared inside his father, but at the last inch of poop sticking out from Stew Pot’s anus, it slowly pulled back before it gave its final words to him.

“Goodbye, my son…

With his asshole closed up, Stew Pot let out a heavy breath with the weight that suddenly left him. Now all that was in the room save for him was Chili Pot and a wide smearing of shit from the scene left behind. None of this mattered. The floor could be cleaned, his fur could be washed, the school board could be dealt with. All that mattered to him was that his son was there and here to stay. The two resolved to resume their hug. The bath could wait.

Author's Note

Hey, remember when I wrote good Father's Day stories?