Robotnik vs. Equestria

A “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” Fanfiction

Written by Jade Dawn

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” is owned by Hasbro. "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" is owned by SEGA, DiC Animation City, and Bohbot Entertainment. I own nothing.

Chapter 1: The End of One Conquest and the Beginning of Another

"THAT'S IT!!! I'VE ABSOLUTELY HAD IT!!!" Doctor Robotnik slammed his fist into the armrest of his throne, shaking the whole room for a moment.

Less than an hour earlier, the evil tyrant's latest scheme to conquer the planet Mobius had been foiled by Sonic and his two-tailed fox companion Tails. It had only been the latest in a long string of defeats for Robotnik, and yet another triumphant victory for the heroic hedgehog and Mobius as a whole.

Naturally, old Robotnik was feeling a little down in the dumps.

Off to the side of the throne room, his robot minions Scratch and Grounder huddled close together in fear, appalled by their boss's latest rant.

"Gee, Grounder," the chicken-like robot whispered. "I've seen Doctor Robotnik get mad before, but never quite like this."

"I know," his drill-armed companion replied. "This is the worst I've ever seen him."

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DING-BOTS TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?!" Robotnik screamed, suddenly aware of the mechanical duo's hushed conversation.

Scratch and Grounder jumped, trying their best to feign innocent grins. "Uh, nothing, doctor!" Scratch said. "Just, uh...chatting about the weather–"

"Oh, shut up!" the mad doctor said. He stepped off of his throne and began to pace around the room ranting to himself all the while.

"That stupid Sonic!" He yelled. "Ever since I began my conquest of Mobius, that blasted blue beast has foiled one scheme after another! Lake Robotnik? Ruined! A monument in my honor? Spoiled! A takeover of Christmas? Forget it! Even the Chaos Emeralds! I actually got all four of them, and that meddling hedgehog still beat me! The ultimate power in the Universe was in my grasp, and he STILL! BEAT! MEEE!!!" He sat himself down on the floor and put his head in his hands. "What will it take?! A man should be free to enslave an entire planet without fear of defeat from a blasted hedgehog! What do I have to do to rule!"

"Well..." Scratch began nervously. At Robotnik's irritated glare, he suddenly wished he had kept his metallic mouth shut.

"Yes?" Robotnik growled dangerously. "You sounded like you had an idea. Not that it'll do any good. Nothing you two could come up with could possibly be as brilliant as any of my evil schemes."

"Um..." Scratch began again, sweating as much as cartoon physics would allow. "I-if...if it's so hard for us–for you, I mean–to take over Mobius, then why don't we try another place? I mean, there's got to be another planet where Sonic can't stop us, right?"

"Yeah!" Grounder agreed. "I'll bet there's another place for you to rule!"

"Hmm," Robotnik said, nodding. "You know what I think about that?"

"What?" the two robots asked simultaneously.

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!" Robotnik shouted! "Leave Mobius?! Outrageous! After all the time and money and energy that I have invested, do you really think I would be so stupid as to give it all up and try somewhere else?! What an idea!" He started to head back to his throne, but then froze. He let out a loud gasp, as though a most ingenious idea had popped into his head.

"Scratch! Grounder!" He cried. "A most ingenious idea has just popped into my head! It's like lightning has struck my brilliant brain!"

"Gee, I bet that must've hurt," Grounder said.

Robotnik ignored him, and continued. "I can't believe I haven't thought of this earlier! It's the most brilliant, most logical course of action! I should've done it years ago!"

"What's your idea, you're maliciousness?" Scratch asked excitedly.

"If I can't conquer Mobius...then I shall find another planet to rule over!"

Scratch and Grounder looked confused. "Um," Scratch began. "Didn't we just..."

"Of course! It's so brilliantly evil! Sonic and Tails wouldn't dare to follow me and leave Mobius unprotected! That's what I'll do! Come, you mechanical minions!" he began to make his way to the exit.

"Where are we going, doctor?" Grounder asked, as he and Scratch fell in behind. "I thought we were going to leave Mobius and find some other planet to take over?"

"We will, we will. But first, we're going to need some supplies. And I know just the place to purchase them..."

Three hours and one bus ride later...

As the bus pulled away in a cloud of dust, Robotnik and his two minions stood outside of a large, modern looking shopping mall. The sign on the front denoted it as the "Mobius Mall for Evil Villains".

"Huh," Scratch said. "I didn't think they built places like this."

"You'd be surprised at what they do between episodes," Robotnik replied. "Now let's go get supplies for my latest venture."

As the trio entered the mall, Scratch and Grounder couldn't help but be astonished at the things they saw inside. All through the mall were shelves and shelves of items for any kind of evil purpose imaginable: disintegrator guns, poison of all effects and colors, freeze rays, mech suits, Sith lightsabers, battle droids, xenomorph eggs, Barbasol cans, kryptonite, symbiotes, Ceti eels, Schwartz rings...and many more things as well. To put it plainly, this place had it all.

The shoppers at the mall were just as interesting as well. Most of them were low-level crooks or fledgling despots, but there were a surprising number of the Universe's most hated villains there as well. They even ran into Pennywise at one point, who gave the trio a friendly "hello" as they made a brief pass through the balloon aisle.

"Wow," Grounder said in awe as they passed more shelves of items. "They have everything here!"

"So, boss," Scratch asked. "What exactly are we looking for?"

"A ship," Robotnik answered. "If we're going to enslave another planet, we're going to need something spaceworthy...ah! Here it is!" They stopped in front of a large set of doors that led to a huge lot outside the mall. Above the doors were the words "Vehicle Lot: All Kinds, Sizes, and Functions!"

"We're sure to find something here that will suit my evil preferences!" Robotnik said hopefully. "Come! Let's find ourselves a vehicle!"

As the trio went to enter the doors, they suddenly heard a voice behind them.

"Well, well!" said the voice in a mocking tone. "If it isn't Robuttnik coming here to buy more toys for his great schemes!"

"Oh, no..." Robotnik muttered. "Not this dolt again..."

The group turned around. Behind them was a tall man with white hair, wearing a blue coat and tan pants. He looked at the group with a cruel, mocking smile plastered on his face. Behind him was a gnome in a green coat, holding on to a shopping cart loaded with spell books.

"Oh, brother," Robotnik growled. "Ignatius Mortimer Meen...we meet again."

"That's 'I.M. Meen' to you!" Meen corrected. "But moving on to my original point...what's an upstanding 'evil genius' like you doing here of all places? I should think that a man with your kind of intellect should be able to create anything they needed on their own?"

"None of your business," Robotnik snapped, starting to move around him toward the doors.

"We're buying supplies so we can conquer another planet!" Grounder announced.

"Yeah! Robotnik is sick of being defeated by Sonic, so we're looking for another place to take over!" Scratch added.

Robotnik winced. He really wanted to move past Meen and get back to shopping, but of course those two mechanical morons had botched things again. He would've scolded them for their stupidity if Meen hadn't started laughing.

"So that's it?" he laughed. "You're giving up?! Boy, I knew you were a pathetic excuse for a despot, but I didn't think you were a quitter! Oh, this is rich!"

"I am not quitting my dreams of tyranny!" Robotnik insisted. "I have simply decided that repeatedly dealing with Sonic is detrimental to my physical and mental wellbeing!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you're quitting," Meen responded.

"Oh...you're just jealous that I've experienced a sudden resurgence in popularity on YouTube while your fad is slowly dying out!"

If Meen was offended by that remark, he did a good job of hiding it. He gave Robotnik a dismissing wave of his hand. "I don't have time to deal with flop-outs like you. I've got things to purchase. Come on, Gnorris!" he said as he began to move away, the gnome pushing the shopping cart close behind.

"Gee, Doctor Robotnik," Scratch said. "I don't think he likes you too much."

"Oh, you think?"

"What happened to get you two so mad at each other?" Grounder asked.

"It's a long story. One that you two wouldn't understand." He made his way back to the doors. "Now come on. Let's find that ship." The trio once again began to make their way toward the lot, when Meen's voice rang out to them once more.

"Wait a moment, Robotnik!" He called from down the aisle. "If you're looking for a planet to conquer, I have a pretty good suggestion!"

"Oh, really?" Robotnik asked, skeptical of this suddenly friendly offer. "And what might that be?"

Meen strode up to them, carrying a book titled "Emperor Palpatine's Guide to the Universe". He flipped through several pages before arriving at the one he wanted. He held the book up to Robotnik, pointing at a label under the "E" section.

"Let me see that," Robotnik said gruffly, taking the book from Meen. He began to read what was written in that particular passage. "'Equestria: A fertile, Earth-like planet located in sector IC-434 of the Milky Way galaxy. It's primary inhabitants are...ponies'?!" he cried. He stared up at Meen in shock. "What are you trying to pull here?!"

"Think about it," Meen said with a smile. "Never been conquered, completely open for anyone who wants the place. They'd be relatively easy to overthrow, and they'd make for excellent beasts of burden. All horses do. How do you think people got around in the Wild West?"

Robotnik thought about this for a moment. Judging from the pictures in the book, it seemed that Meen was right. And yet...

He eyed Meen suspiciously. "There's something you're not telling me, isn't there? What are you hiding?"

"Nothing," Meen answered. "Nothing at all. I'm simply trying to help a fellow villain."

"Says the man who was just mocking me earlier."

"My dear Doctor Robotnik," Meen said, his voice irritatingly polite. "I make it a point to be as honest as I can with people." He gave him a mischievous grin. "Especially the ones I don't like. You ought to know that by now."

"If these ponies are as easy to subjugate as you claim, then why haven't you tried enslaving them?"

"Because I'm running a pretty good racket trapping little children in my labyrinth. Unlike some people, I don't like to change trades when I've got a thing going."

For a moment, Robotnik was silent as he pondered Meen's unusual offering. Finally, he took out a notepad and pen, and began jotting down the coordinates of the planet from the book. "Fine. We'll give this 'Equestria' place a try." He finished writing, and turned back to Scratch and Grounder. "Alright, you two nincombots! Snap to it! We've got a ship to buy and a planet to conquer!"

"Coming, Doctor!" the two robots said in unison.

I.M. Meen watched as the trio made their way out to the vehicle lot, a devilish grin on his face all the while.

Gnorris came up to him. "Uh, Boss? You didn't really explain to him why nobody's conquered Equestria yet." he pointed out nervously.

Meen chuckled. "Oh, Gnorris...now why would I tell him that?"

One hour and a little over $700 later...

In the end, Robotnik had purchased a used Martian flying saucer for his spacecraft. It turned out to have a pretty decent engine system, and even came with a laboratory and a laser cannon.

Even better, he had purchased it for practically nothing. They had discovered that they were selling miniature Death Star super-laser tech for a special Buy One Get One Free sale. So he had bought the super-laser, and ended up using the Get One Free part on the saucer. A pretty good bargain, all things considered.

Now they were back at Robotnik's fortress, packing whatever they could for the long trip ahead of them. Scratch and Grounder were loading food and whatever personal wares they had, while Robotnik busied himself with shrinking his throne and lab equipment with a shrink ray he had bought, packing the items into various suitcases.

He was just about finished and was watching Scratch and Grounder load everything into the saucer when Coconuts, an earlier robot shaped like a monkey with a siren on top of his head, came running up to him

"Boss, boss!" he asked. "Is it true? Are you really giving up trying to take over Mobius?"

"That's correct, Coconuts," he answered. "Me, Scratch, and Grounder are going to find a new world to subjugate."

"But what about me? Am I coming too?"

"No." Robotnik answered flatly. "You're staying here. There's only so much weight that the ship can take."

"W-what?!" Coconuts said, aghast. "Well, do I at least get to keep the fortress?"

"Oh, fine," Robotnik said, handing him a set of keys. "Here. Take it. It's all yours now, I don't care what you do with it."

Coconuts' attitude cleared up instantly. "I get to keep the fortress! The whole thing, all to myself! Woohoo!!!" he shouted as he ran off.

"Doctor Robotnik!" Scratch called from inside the saucer. "We're ready to go when you are!"

Robotnik smiled and clapped his hands together. "Excellent! Let my new mission of conquest begin!" he said as he ascended the boarding ramp of the saucer. He made his way to the pilot's seat, and began setting the controls to initiate the takeoff sequence.

"Wait a minute," Grounder asked. "Isn't Coconuts coming?"

"Of course not, you bolt-brain!" Robotnik snapped back. "I'm already taking you two along; no need for any other klutzy minions."

"But I thought you were going to rig the fortress to self-destruct so Sonic couldn't find all of your secrets!" Scratch protested.

"Coconuts is a pretty resilient robot. He'll be fine." Robotnik said. He pushed a button, starting the engines.

Outside, the edges of the saucer began to rotate, slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed. Finally, the craft lifted up into the air. It flew over the landscape for a while, before finally ascending into the cold, dark reaches of space on it's voyage to conquest.

Or so Robotnik hoped.

A few minutes later...

A few miles away from Robotnik's (former) fortress, a cloud of dust was raised on the sandy road as Sonic sped forth, his pal Tails hovering a few feet behind him.

"Are you sure those UFO sightings have something to do with Doctor Robotnik?" Tails asked.

"I'm positive, Tails," Sonic answered. "Whenever something strange and eerie happens around here, Robotnik's usually behind it. We should be coming up on his fortress right about now."

As the approached the fortress, the duo slowed to a halt. The building, with its tall structure and giant, golden Robotnik statue, loomed above them.

"Now let's see what Robotnik has planned this time," Sonic said.

"Sonic, look!" Tails exclaimed, pointing. "There's a note on the door!"

And so there was. Sonic took it off and began to read what it said:

"Dear pesky hedgehog,

I'm done. I've had enough of you constantly fouling up my plans to rule Mobius.

Me, Scratch, and Grounder are leaving to find another planet to takeover.

I wish you the absolute worst of luck.

Sincerely, Doctor Ivo Robotnik

P.S. This fortress will self-destruct around the same time that you finish reading this letter. Consider it a parting shot."

Sonic's eyes went wide. "RUN!" he shouted, grabbing Tails by the arm and speeding off as fast as he could. An instant later, the entire fortress exploded into a brilliant blast of fire and destruction, sending a loud boom across the land.

Sonic and Tails skidded to a halt a safe distance away. They watched in a kind of shocked silence as the remains of the fortress began to burn, flaming remains falling to the ground all around them.

Suddenly, Coconuts, wearing the charred remains of a bathrobe, landed with a thud a few feet away from them. Sonic and Tails paid him no mind, continuing to watch the conflagration.

"Wha–what happened?" Coconuts asked, sitting up and shaking his head in a daze.

"Robotnik self-destructed the fortress," Tails answered numbly.

Coconuts joined them in looking at the wreckage, his jaw dropping. For a moment, he said nothing.

Then, with a sudden fury, he pounded his fist into the ground.

"I'VE BEEN STIFFED!!!"

The Castle of Friendship, Ponyville, Equestria

Yawning heavily, Spike opened the door to the castle's outside balcony. On the edge, near the railing, Princess Twilight Sparkle was gazing at the stars through a telescope, occasionally stopping to jot down notes.

"Twi?" Spike asked, shuffling his newly-grown wings a little. "Are you coming to bed soon? It's almost midnight!"

Twilight turned. "Oh, sorry Spike. I heard from Astronomy Weekly that there's going to be a meteor shower tomorrow night. If it comes over the area at the time that I estimate it will, it should add a some extra flair to Coloratura's concert tomorrow evening."

Last week, Coloratura had announced that she would be stopping at Ponyville as part of her latest tour. The entire town had been excited, and preparations had been going on for the past few days. Already, the lights of the stage were burning brightly just outside of town.

"I'm glad she's gonna be coming back," Spike said. "And I'm really glad that she's been doing better since we got rid of that manager of hers."

"Yeah, she's been doing real well since then," Twilight agreed.

Spike came up beside her and looked up at the night sky. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. "Whoa. I think that meteor shower might be coming a little bit early."

"Huh?" Twilight said, confused. "What do you mean?"

Spike pointed, and Twilight followed the indicated direction. And then she saw it: a large, bright red spot of light whizzing across the sky at breakneck speed. It seemed to slow down as it passed over the Everfree Forest, and then disappeared behind the treeline.

"What was that?" Spike asked. "A meteor? Do you think it landed in the Everfree?"

Twilight shook her head. "No. We would've heard it. I don't know what that was."

At that time, none of them had any clue what they had seen.

But they soon would wished that it never came.

Author's Note

And so begins the first chapter of my latest writing venture. And it's gonna be a wild one, I'll say that much.

Now, I've got to be perfectly honest with you: I've never actually played any of the Sonic games. But I do love the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog show, and that's what this story is based off of. If any of you are familiar with YTP, you'll know which one I'm talking about. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and I hope to add more soon! :)

P.S. The saucer that Robotnik ends up buying is from Mars Attacks!. Just thought I'd put that out there since it wasn't immediately obvious in the text.
So it basically looks like one of these.