Screw the Rules, I Have Pony
We begin on the onset of a duel. Seto Kaiba and Yami Yugi stand poised to summon holographic monsters to settle their latest dispute and determine who between them is the better duelist.
"Are you ready, Kaiba?!" Yami said.
"Ready to grind you into dust, maybe," Kaiba replied.
"Then it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" Yami said.
Yami started with 2,000 life points, and Kaiba with 4,000. You can tell this will be good.
"I go fir-" Yami said.
"It's my turn!" Kaiba interrupted. "I summon the Alicorn Princess, Celestia!"
A holographic image of Princess Celestia appeared on the field. She had 20,500 Attack Points and 200,000 Defense Points
"That's not a card!" Yami shouted.
"It is now," Kaiba said smugly. "I also summon the Battle Ox and place a card face down on the field. I end my turn,"
Battle Ox shimmered onto the field, with 2,567 Attack Points and 78,841 Defense Points
"It's my turn!" Yami said. "I summon the Dark Magician!"
Dark Magician appeared on the field with 2,000 Attack Points and 24,500 Defense Points, and Celestia dissolved into light and went to the Graveyard.
"Dark Magician's villainous demeanor sends all Alicorn-type monsters to the Graveyard," Yami said.
"As President of KaibaCorp, I declare this invalid!" Kaiba declared.
Princess Celestia appeared on the field once more, looking a bit frazzled by all of this.
"I place three cards face down on the field and end my turn!" Yami said.
"I'm CEO of the world's largest gaming company," Kaiba said. "This allows me to draw five more cards," Kaiba drew seven more cards. "I also summon the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"
A great light began to shine on a space on the field, where Spike appeared, suddenly waking from his midday nap. He had 0 Attack Points and 100 Defense Points
"Wait a minute, where's Blue-Eyes?" Kaiba asked, more than just a bit confused.
"Oh, he's out sick," Spike replied. "So I'm covering for him,"
Kaiba placed two fingers on the bridge of his nose. "Whatever, I'll just do this without Blue-Eyes then,"
"It's my turn!" Yami said. "I summon the Changeling Army!"
A lot of changelings appeared on the field, wherein they all took on the appearance of Dark Magician. "Now you can't tell who's Dark Magician and who's a changeling! I attack Princess Celestia with the Dark Magician! Dark magic attack!"
"You just activated my trap card, Yugi," Kaiba said whilst revealing that trap card. "Giant Mirror. It takes any attack against me and reflects it back to attack your life points directly!"
'I don't think that's a card either!" Yami declared.
"How does that even work?" Spike questioned.
"Don't question it, green-eyes," Kaiba replied.
Dark Magician's magic blast bounced off of the mirror and hit Yami for massive damage. Yami now had 4 life points while Kaiba had...infinite. Because of course he did.
"My turn!" Kaiba declared. "I summon Obelisk, the Tormentor!"
Obelisk, a rather intimidating fellow, appeared on the field, with his 4,000 Attack and Defense Points.
"Because of my special ability from being Seto Kaiba, Obelisk's strength is now infinite!"
Scratch that, make it infinite Attack and Defense points.
"Wait a minute!" Yami realized. "You can't summon Obelisk without a tribute!"
"Do I really need to?" Kaiba asked.
"Yes!" Yami shouted.
'Alright then," Kaiba said. "I'll sacrifice your Dark Magician and Changeling Army in order to summon Obelisk, the Tormentor,"
Yami held out his hand in front of him like a giant claw. "YOU CAN'T TRIBUTE SUMMON USING MY MONSTERS!"
"As President of KaibaCorp, I declare this valid!" Kaiba said.
Yami began to draw cards. "Whenever I'm about to lose a duel, I draw exactly what I need, because I believe in the heart of the cards!"
"That's stupid," Kaiba said.
"Not as stupid as you having a giant mirror as a trap card!" Yami snapped back.
"I don't even know half of what they're babbling about," Spike said to Celestia.
"Me neither," Celestia replied.
'It's my turn!" Yami said. "I play the five pieces of Exodia!"
All of the Mane Six appeared on the field with puzzled looks on their faces. "Wait, what?" Yami looked puzzled as well.
"Okay then. Together, they form Exodia, the Forbidden One!" Yami shouted.
Their cutie marks began to glow, and the light from their glows coalesced into the form of Exodia, with all of his infinite Attack and Defense Points.
"Exodia! It's not possible!" Kaiba yelled.
"You know, I have summoned him before," Yami said.
"Yes, but that time he wasn't in the form of six brightly colored ponies," Kaiba said.
"What in Equestria is going on here?" Twlight Sparkle asked.
"Beats me. I just hope that we get to fight this scary looking guy," Rainbow Dash answered.
"Wait a minute," Twilight scanned Kaiba's side of the field. "Spike? And Princess Celestia?"
"Hey there, Twilight." Spike said.
"Before you ask, no, I do not know what is going on either." Celestia said.
"Exodia! Obliterate!" Yami shouted.
Exodia shot a beam of light from his palms, which Obelisk then countered with his fist. Obelisk's fist then connected with Exodia, shattering them and sending them both to the Graveyard. The Mane Six were still on the field, though.
"It's my turn!" Kaiba declared. "I summon all of the monsters in my hand! Nightmare Moon! Queen Chrysalis! King Sombra! Tirek! Starlight Glimmer!"
All of the aforementioned characters appeared onto the field, with 78,841 Attack Points and 60,500 Defense Points
"Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?" Yami asked.
"Yes I did, Yugi. What are you going to do about it?" Kaiba answered.
"Oh horse apples," Rainbow Dash said, looking at the rogues gallery Kaiba had managed to summon. Rarity fainted dramatically, but Twilight stood her ground.
Yami placed one of his hands on his temple and looked at the cards he had in his other hand. "I have nothing to defeat him with!" Yami thought to himself. "Except..."
"I activate Swords of Revealing Light," Yami shouted. "And use it to attack your life points directly!"
"That's not what that card does," Kaiba said.
"Does this look like the face of a man who cares, Kaiba?!" Yami said.
Yami plucked a sword made of light out of the air and threw it at Kaiba. The blade sailed through the air until it came to rest inside Kaiba's chest. Kaiba's life points went from infinity to zero in less than a second.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Kaiba screamed as his monsters dissolved. "I will have my vengeance someday, Yugi!"
"Maybe someday, Kaiba, in a more coherent duel." Yami said.
Author's Note
I was watching a bunch of 'Kaiba Screws The Rules' videos on YouTube lately, so I decided to make this.
