Author's Note
hey guys, I know this isn't my usual fiction, but it's great, I promise, I been refining and polishing these guys since middle school! And I'm just so happy to share my boy Fred with you, he is my sweet little biscuit!
Ps. I am open to periodical, but much less frequent crossovers, pm me to request, before you write anything please.
this guy writes with me on this, check him out!
Enjoy! ~Lord Krahtorra
Prancing, Pie, and Pink
“OOOH! This is so exciting! To think, we are so incredibly famous that papa Zmatty himself wanted to meet us!” Screamed the lone human in rags, known to the group as the local wildcard. He was wearing what could only be described as a ragged pair of peasants clothes, his toes and fingers ending in unnatural claws, and his teeth ending in feral looking sharp points. He had a strange manacle on one arm, that looked highly technological, it had features similar to one, but was also layered in metal, runes, and crystal, and covered his entire forearm, charms hanging off of the manacle in several spots instead of chains.
He smiled to the Dragon like creature, known as a Dracovo, to his right “I mean, aren’t you just amazed, Toniya? I mean, dad only came to me when I was really messing up before, but he actually said he was proud! Of me! He didn’t even mind having a snack with me!”
“Yes I am amazed, not every day someone gets to meet with a god after all, in fact I’m honored.” he gave a slight toothy grin. “It will for sure be some fun.”
The Gremlin of the group, a short being with bat like ears decorated with earrings, feral looking teeth that looked like a cross of a dog and a sharks, and digitigrade legs, as well as two massive, powerful looking arms, and a ridged tail similar to a lizards, except ending in needle sharp hair like quills., smiled ecstatically “Boys, I think we’ve officially done it, we have gone past the big leagues! We are officially legends!” She then pulled out her notebook and a pencil as she ignored the oil stains on her skirt and t-shirt. “I can’t wait to ask lord Zmatok about his chaos energy, imagine the possible applications to Manonics!” She then looked to V3-4N, or as she called him, Vern. “Aren’t you excited, buddy?”
The Golem in question, a tall humanoid made of various metal plates, gears, and a crystal right in the center of his ribcage, in between where his lungs would be. “I do not wish for you to be reckless, miss Yashka, I am completely content with my current capabilities.” he looked to the Stonekin near him “Please, assist in my reasoning.”
The Stonekin of the group chuckled at this “If I know you, Yashka, the first few attempts of utilizing it will cause some explosions.” To this, the lady gremlin stuck her tongue out at him. The stonekin in question being a goliath creature with stone like skin, steel bones, and rubber muscles. He smiled as he dusted something off of his teal suit as he looked to his tan pants and red shoes to see if whatever it was got on them. He then looked ahead as he fidgeted with his hats brim, making sure nothing had bespoiled it’s beauty. “Hope I look good for him. Would hate to look less than my best for a god, yes?”
She then huffed “Yeah, right, Griswell, like he cares about how people look! “Oh, I am one of the major gods, responsible for all creation, let me just stop to observe the latest fashion! Dur!” real likely!” She then blew a raspberry teasingly, showing her pierced tongue before she looked to the human and smiled coquettishly “You think I look good in anything, though, don’t you, Fred~?”
Fred blushed and quickly nodded “U-uh… Yeah! I like you! er-how you look, er...I’ll be quiet now!”
Vern chuckled “Master Frederick is quite flustered by miss Yashka, it still seems. May I question why? It has been a year since you have begun your courtship.”
Fred Blushed even more red as Yashka giggled “You make it sound like we are preparing for marriage or something, Vern! Let poor Fred take his time, I can wait~!” At what she just implied, Fred hid his face in his hands and mumbled to himself loudly.
The Luperian of the group smiled quietly, her fur a light rust red with a white underbelly, and her armor consisting of a leather jerkin, pants, and hood. She was a humanoid wolf with a lethal skill with stealth and sneaking up on people, evident from her sneaking up on Toniya. “What do you think? Will we be asked to do some legendary quest? Or maybe he’s going to grant us a wish~!” You could practically see the greedy aura coming off of her, but she also had a slight blush, as if thinking of something dirty as well. It was rather unnerving, honestly.
“I tend not to make assumptions lightly, Fera, but I think he will have a great task for us.” he said with a sigh.
The Bjorn of the group smiled “Any challenge set forth by a god is sure to be a worthy one indeed!” he was a humanoid Bear with normal legs, and a strong, burly build that wore a robe of animal hides, and had various bone charms hanging from his robes, for easy access. He was armed with a one handed cleaver and seemed to have this wild air about him. “I, Arvir, am glad to meet the challenge head on!
The clock then struck 3:02 PM, their designated time to meet with the god, as they were all swept into his realm, which looked oddly like the tavern they all first met at.
“Am I the only one who has a bad feeling?” Everyone nodded, but before anyone could speak, the sound of music started, only for it to stop just as suddenly as it began.
There was a sound of laughter, joyous, hearty laughter, as Zmatok, lord of chaos and change, became visible. His human like form covered in odd runes that no one could ever recognize as he wore red primarily, his clothes being a classy suit and fedora, complete with his chosen artifacts of his cane, and his necklace. “Well, I hope this proves to be interesting for you instead.”
Fred screamed excitedly. “Hiya dad! How are you! Can we have more snacks?!”
Zmatok chuckled “Sadly, no, this is a serious matter. You see, the god of another world has approached me for help, and I have selected you six, to journey forth into a new realm in order to change the series of events. There are many events that have been corupted, and they need to be shaken up to take anywhere near the correct course.” he grinned “I feel you are just the ones to do it!”
“So fix a timeline? Alright I’m game.” the Dracovo said.
He smiled “I sense that the rest of you agree with your friend Toniya. Very well! As a point of entry, I will send you to about a week before the first of the corruptions. Have fun!”
He then waved his hand at us, and we were swept into a whole new frontier…
Fred looked all over excitedly, he was waving at the strange creatures who looked like humans, but had hooves for feet, and were somewhat taller. Not to mention they were oddly colored, and had equine features. “Hi! How are ya! I’m fred, nice to come here, OOH! I can finally quote my favorite story! “Take me to your leader, earthlings! I come in peace!” haha! That was so fun!”
“Really Fred? This is already a lot different than their god said it would be, so we have a lot of work to do.” Toniya said, looking around cautiously.
Arvir looked around and sniffed the air “I… I sense potent magic.”
Griswell nodded “I as well, brother.
“But if it was easy, it would be no fun, right guys?” the Dracovo smiled.
Arvir grinned “I’d have it no other way!”
Fera nodded “And I can tell that there will be many marketing opportunities here, think of the money!”
Yashka frowned thoughtfully “The magic here is a lot stronger, almost staggeringly so, but it’s not oppressive, it almost… welcomes you in…”
Vern nodded “It almost overloaded my Rune-Circuits when we arrived, lady Yashka. But I luckily sensed it quickly and lowered my magic absorption procedures to ten percent efficiency.”
There was then a pink blur as a hyperactive pink equine creature rushed up at them, her having what looked like a wagon of some sort as she started singing, only for Fred to smile excitedly at Toniya “Yay! Music! Can I sing too, boss!?”
“Well what can it hurt, sure fred, just make sure to not get too worked up.” he told fred.
Fred nodded happily as he ran over to the wagon and pressed a button at its side. He jumped up and down as Pinkie began to sing, him singing in perfect harmony with her after a moment, as if he rehearsed for months.
“Welcome welcome welcome! A fine welcome to you!”
Yashka giggled as Fred danced with her, only for him to keep singing.
“ Welcome welcome welcome! We say how do you do?”
They pulled out a trumpet and tooted their proverbial horns back to back.
“Welcome welcome welcome, I say hip-hip hooray,”
They danced in tandem, roping Yaska, Arvir, and somehow a toothless gator into the dance
“Welcome welcome welcome to eeee-quus tooo-daaay~!”
Even the normally reserved Golem and Dracovo of the group start to giggle a bit., especially when they all come into a sliding knee finish, and Arvir looked around confusedly, shouting “How did I start dancing like that?!”
Vern smiled “I know not, but it was quite amusing.”
“Why thank you for that grand welcome, it does this old heart some good.” Toniya said.
Griswell nodded “Indeed, I have rarely seen such a great welcome in my two hundred years.”
Yashka giggled as she hugged him. “That was fun, Freddy~ maybe we could dance a little more slowly later?”
Fred blushed “Uh y-yeah! I can dance slow! A-and I’d love to be with you! Er... To dance!”
Arvir looked to the pink equine and grabbed her “Tell me of your odd magic! How did I learn to dance that way?! Reveal your secrets, Pink one!” he started to shake her rapidly, her giggling the whole time.
Vern raised a brow “I doubt that that is a wise course of action, sir Arvir, the locals will assume we are hostile.”
He then was blasted by a purple equine with a horn, the magic coming from an aura around her hands, to which he grunted as he finally listened to his comrade and put her down, seemingly only annoyed by the magic blast. “Okay, but i demand answers from her! Fred is odd enough!”
“Yeah, I would have told you to not do that.” Toniya smirked.
The purple unicorn looked to them cautiously “What in Equestria are you six creatures? And what do you want with Pinkie Pie?!”
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, my friend Arvir here gets a bit worked up when he sees magic he doesn’t understand, as for me at least, Toyina the Dracovo at your service.” he said with a quick bow.
Griswell nodded and bowed his head “I apologize as well, we meant no harm.” he then looked to Fred, who was busy fidgeting in place as he was still blushing at Yashkas flirting.
At Griswell patting Fred, he leaped up into the air “Yipes!” he then looked to griswell and pouted as he instantaneously landed solidly on his feet. “Meany! I was distracted by yashka and the nice pretty pony!”
Yashkas ears perked a little “So you think she’s cute, eh~? Never thought I’d see you be into another gal! Maybe we could have a little date, all three of us~?”
“Now then, where are we at?” Toyina pondered, as the Pink pony, Named Pinkie Pie apparently, overheard Yashka and Fred talk with a slight blush.
Fred pulled a map out of nowhere and looked at the nearby landmarks that were visible, as well as the sky, and… licking some of the dirt? “Well, it tastes like a tuesday, but…” he then sniffed it… “ it actually smells like saturday morning… and there are no blue police call boxes in sight, but everything's still wibbly wobbly, and timey wimey… and there’s still some cheese to be had for all… But no szechuan sauce… and there hearts are all fleshy, and not magic, and no kids with weird giant keys are running around... So Id say we’re in Universe E dash p zero four! Or Equus, Equestria, to be exact!”
Pinkie pie looked to Fred in wonder, as the purple one looked in confusion, right before he could speak though, Griswell cut in “Tis better not to know, young one.” he shuddered in horror, looking into the middle distance “Tis better not to know…”
“Alright that helps, may you ladies give us the honour of your names?”
The Rainbow maned one eyed us warily “And why should we just let you know our names? We have no way of knowing if you are a threat or not.”
Fred smiled as he laughed “I only hurt bad guys, or people mean to my friends!” he then held out his hand to the purple one “I’m Fred, it’s super nice to meet you!”
She smiled after he shook her hand “I’m Twilight, it’s nice to meet you as well, and these,” She gestured to her friends “Are rainbow Dash, AppleJack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and You have already been welcomed by Pinkie Pie.”
“Nice to meet you all, and miss Rainbow is it? By my honour, only if a pony attacks first, or endangers innocent lives, will I attack. ”
Griswell smiled “I am more of a holy man, any way, most I can do is smite the sinful with holy magic. Or hit them with my bell, I suppose…”
Arvir grinned “I will not harm you or your kin, you have my word, on my clans honor.”
Fera grinned “There’s no profit in hurting potential allies! Especially potential investors such as yourselves! I can practically smell the money coming off of three of you!”
There was then a silence as they took in Feras statement, Fluttershy looking to her curiously “You… smell money?”
She nodded eagerly “Yeah! It smells sooo good! I hope I still have access to my savings…” she then pulled out a bag and… dove inside?! The ponies looked on in wonder as various clangs and jingles were heard, before she came out with some jewelry hanging off of her snout. “It’s even fuller than before! Zmatok gave me TONS more treasure than we saved up! Did I die? Is this heaven?!”
Fred looked puzzled “Didn’t I say where we are? Heaven is H dash zero one… and tastes like clouds and smells like-”
Griswell hushed him “She was talking figuratively, my friend.”
Fred smacked his forehead “OH! Okay! I thought I might of talked in my head again!”
“Well why do I feel like you, Twilight, have an air of a leader around you?” Toyina asked.
She shrugged “I have a take charge attitude, maybe?”
Rainbow Dash chuckled “Yeah, in an emergency, you’d be hard pressed to find a better leader than twilight here.”
“Well no wonder, your soul is so strong it speaks to my ears, telling me you are a leader. I think we will get along quite nicely.” the dracovo said with a smile.
Vern then nodded solemnly “You have very similar strengths to each other. Madame Twilight, I am humbled by your very presence.”
Twilight smiled with a slight blush, rather unused to the level of praise as Fred walked out of a food store, having traded a jewel he had found for a pie. He smiled and waved “Hiya!”
She looked behind her, and her eye twitched “But… HOW?! You were right over there!” She turned to where he was, and he was standing there with the pie, giving a third of it each to Pinkie and Yashka, who smiled thankfully. “WHAT?!”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked to each other with worry as they mouthed “Another pinkie” to each other grimly.
Rarity looked to Fred and frowned “Darling…wha… wh-what are those horrid rags you are wearing?!”
Fred tilted his head in confusion “These are my comfy clothes… They don’t feel weird… most clothes feel… blah… they were a gift from dad, too…” he looked himself over, seeming to just notice his clothing. “ But I guess they are a little raggedy?”
Yashka hugged Fred and frowned at Rarity “Fred can wear whatever he wants, so what if he looks a little gruff? He’s still my big strong hunk~!”
Vern nodded “These clothes provide optimal comfort to master Frederick, he is rather ill at ease in anything else.”
Griswell smiled amusedly as Fred fidgeted in place before hugging Yashka and picking her up in a tender embrace and kiss. “We should probably tell you all about my companion Fred, may you all take us to whomever is in charge of this land? They should know of us as well.”
Twilight nodded slowly “Umm… okay? I can set up a meeting with celestia to meet you all, I suppose… I mean, I’ve never seen creatures like you before… so it should be okay if i phrase it like a diplomatic meeting…”
She then looked behind her, towards a Dracovo like creature that seemed to be shorter, and lack any wings whatsoever. “Hey, Spike, could you take a letter?”
He nodded happily “Sure Twilight! What you want it to say?”
Twilight frowned and looked to her friends, who shrugged in response, before she smiled “Tell her that some outer realm diplomats wish to meet her, and they teleported to us at random, thanks to my experiments with portals.” She then looked to us with caution “Can you all go with that? I know Celestia will see through it in a heartbeat, but she’ll also know I’m serious about you all needing to meet her, as diplomats, you’ll be able to come to Princess Celestia's throne room without being hassled by guards or nobles.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Spike said before... lighting the note on fire with his breath?
Vern looked to twilight confusedly “What purpose did that serve, madame? The letter is unreadable now.”
Twilight shook her head “No, the fire Spike breathes is enchanted, whatever letter he breathes it on gets sent straight to the Princesses.”
Yashka looked to her in amazement “That could revolutionalize the mailing system of our world! Think of the possibilities! It could render couriers nigh obsolete!”
Twilight nodded in agreement and was about to respond before she got a returned scroll, Spike having returned it with a belch. “Let’s see… Oh, she wants to see you ASAP. Sent a portcullis key with the letter.”
Fred smiled “Oh, yay! We get to meet a princess! I wonder if this one likes cake? Or maybe is more of a cream pie fan… Or maybe she likes pranks! I’m so excited to find out!”
Griswell frowned as Twilight levitated a strangely shaped metal cube containing a Dodecahedron within it as she channelled magic into it. “Fred, we will have to talk about… then, will you be okay with that?”
Fred frowned, suddenly losing his pep. “Oh… uh… sure. Um… do I have to be there?”
Griswell nodded solemnly. “Yes, we need to have them see your manacle, it is crucial we keep them fully in the loop.”
Twilights magic then activated the key, and they were once again teleported to another location.
Celestia was waiting for them, as they were quickly met by her personally and led to her throne room. “I apologize for the walk to the throne room, but recent developments made known to me inspired some…renovating. Some of which making teleportation on castle grounds impossible.”
Vern looked to Celestia and sighed “Lowering mana absorption efficiency by nine point five percent, so as to prevent mana overload from passive mana saturation from potent magic user.”
Fred walked out of the throne room and waved to them “Hiya guys! I was waiting for you!”
Celestia looked to him in surprise “B-but… no one should be capable of teleporting in the castle! I made the spells myself!”
Griswell nodded as they made their way into the throne room, him beckoning her inside. “I suppose it is high time that I tell you all Fred’s history, before you think him some malevolent entity for his powers… But be warned. It is not a pleasant story.”
Fred looks to Griswell and Yashka and sighed. “Let me do it…”
Yashka frowned as well, concern evident on her face. “You sure, hon? You don’t have to…”
Griswell nodded “Indeed, it is acceptable by far for us to tell the tale.”
Vern even looked concerned at this, his usual neutral face showing great amounts of worry “Master Frederick, I implore you, please reconsider, the memories are far too painful to re-live! It is not healthy whatsoever!”
Fred shook his head stubbornly “No, it was me who went through it... I should tell them.”
He then sighed and looked to the ponies present “You all may wish to sit down for this… it’s a real doozy of a story…”
