You Just Don't Drop Princess Celestias At Ponies, Do You?
Author's Note
Hi fellow ponies!
This is my first story written here. I am a reader since Summer 2017, and I have read many stories, though there are still many more which I want to read, but only started writing now. It may be a bit bland, a bit cliché, but I have to write it still. For the sake of creating, for the sake of accomplishing and completing something, even if only for myself.
You Just Don't Drop Princess Celestias At Ponies, Do You?
"What a lovely day!" Twilight thought, with her new stock of books stocked out from the Royal Canterlot Archives, including the infamous grimoire „Back To The Future – A Brief Introduction To A Brief Introduction To A Short Introduction Into The Magic Of Time Traveling, Life And The Universe And The Answer That Is Not Always 42” by Star Swirl the Bearded. She was not sure Princess Celestia would be happy to borrow that one to her, but she took it with the others anyway. As the saying goes, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. In fact, the sole existence of said grimoire was not meant to be known, not even by the Princesses themselves.
Little did they know that once Twilight had read something in alien literature called „doublethink” which amazed her. Of course, the Princesses would not even know that said book existed, and given that non-existent things don’t have an exact location where they do not exist, all she had to do was take an untitled book more than she originally intended. She trotted happily to her new Castle of Friendship on the streets of Ponyville, when suddenly her beloved Princess and mentor crash landed on top of her.
"Oops, my bad. I am sorry, my little pony."
"Princess Celestia, you don’t recognize me?" asked Twilight Sparkle after she freed herself.
"What? I haven’t seen you until now. And why do you call me Princess Celestia? My name is... SHIT! I can’t remember my mane."
"You mean your NAME, Princess?"
"No. My name is Rebecca Black. Pleased to meet you, miss…"
"Twilight Sparkle. Mind if I ask you why the disguise? I know it is you, my dearest Princess. That sun cutie-mark, white coat, flowing ethereal mane, long horn and royal outfit may be a giveaway?"
"YESSSSS! Thank you, young lady! Now I finally remember my mane! I will be forever in your debt! You know, once I had a party so hard on a Friday after school that I lost my mane. I was looking for it for days until I found it in some very very long red line under a song uploaded to an alien video sharing site by some alien wearing my name. Though now I remember, it is on my head."
"Princess, WHAT in the name of you and Luna is going on?"
"Well, I was fleeing from a manticore, and I accidentally crashed. I am really sorry that I crash landed on you, and I don’t intend to ridicule your pain and fright, but besides the accident, I don’t know what are you referring to as „going on”.
"You REALLY don’t remember that you are Princess Celestia, co-ruler of all of Equestria?" asked Twilight with worry.
"I am sorry, young lady. You may confuse me with somepony you know, but I appeared in your Equestria just 5 minutes ago."
„I swear to the gods that if this is some prank of Discord, I will personally transform him into a stallion with a grey coat and mane with grey square cutie-mark” – mused Twilight, momentarliy unaware of the fact that since her ascendence to alicornhood she indeed was one of the gods already.
"What? You just appeared from a parallel universe? How? I shall notify the Princesses imme-"
-CRASH-
"YESSS! Perfect hit!"
"Argh..."
"Hi Twilight! I might say I’m super sorry, but the truth is I wanted to pull that on you after your Cupcakes story posted on Equestria Daily. Seriously, you thought it was funny? It was meany-mean for writing shit like this, even if you wrote it anonymous, fictional and just for fun. So I thought, okie-dokie-lokie, I may want to build an alicorn slinger and throw a Princess Celestia on top of you, just for the lulz, you know? But no hard feelings, friends forever?"
"Pinkie. This IS NOT FUNNY! I could have been seriously injured! Not to mention endangering our beloved Princess and using her like this! You just... don’t drop Princess Celestia at a pony."
"I am awfully sorry, my dearest student Twilight Sparkle, but I must agree Pinkie on this. Producing works of literature about living ponies this dark, scary and unsettling is a threat to Equestria far bigger than you realize. The history of Equestria is not void of death, pain and suffering, but now we have a bright present and an even brighter future. I chose to pull a prank on you rather than officially punish you, but I sincerely hope you think about your thoughts, words and actions a bit now."
"I... I..."
"Freedom of speech is one thing, my little pony. But instead of creating a fictional character, you depicted one of the Elements, not to mention one of your friends as a maniac murderer, as a pony to be feared. Actions like this may not directly endanger the security of Equestria, but certainly not help the matter. Like I said earlier, you shouldn’t read so many dusty old books. Now, what is it you wanted me to notify of?"
"Um.. Eh eh khm. Dear Princess Celestia, meet this other Princess Celestia, who calls herself Rebecca Black."
"Hi. It’s a lovely Friday, isn’t it?"
"Well, hello, my little... nevermind. Actually, it’s Wednesday. Pinkie Pie, do you have anything to say to this?"
"Me? Of course. Maybe she is from a parallel Equestria where Princess Derpy Hooves thought she is too regular and organized so she wanted to send her to the Rainbow Factory but accidentally flung her here?"
"Urgh, Pinkie, just stop! I know you feel bad about my story, I am terribly sorry, but please, just stop making up random names or entities and being so random just for a moment! We have problems to solve at our hooves!"
"Problems? Where are they? I can’t find them! Probleeeeem! Come to sweet auntie Pinkie! You can have an All You Can Eat at Sugarcube Corner!"
"PIIIIINNKIEEEEEE!"
"What? There aren’t any problems here. If there were, they would be already here! We just have to send Rebecca back to his homeland and everything will be alright."
"Well, I’m actually a she."
"No, you are not, it’s just a magical accident. You are Prince Blueblood of your Equestria, and Princess Derpy wanted to get you out of Centerplot, and you accidentally ended up here while your soul partly mixed up with an alien named Rebecca Black, but do not fret, my little prince, we got two of the most powerful alicorn princesses here, we can send you back in a jiffy! You would make an excellent manager at the Rainbow Factory there, it was just an accident that you ended up here."
"What the hell is a rainbow factory anyway?" – asked Twilight and Rebecca/Blueblood in unison.
"You don’t know, silly? It is the part of the Weather Factory where rainbows are produced. Beautiful, magical rainbows. Princess Derpy’s Equestria is downright silly, even for me, but they still need properly scheduled weather. That’s why facilities of their Weather Factory can be run only by the best of the best. With the current manager at the Rainbow Factory retiring, she needed a new one. Too bad Princess Derpy and logistics are even worse enemies than the Crystal Empire and King Sombra and she swapped mails as she locked away the job offer to Blueblood into her secret storeroom where she holds the strongest magical staff and spells of her world and sent a universe-crossing spell to Blueblood."
"Pinkie, just... fine, whatever. The more I listen to you the more I’m not sure if I’m actually a kraken disguised as a bottle of mastodon feces in a world of sentient umbrellas where we perceive each other as ponies."
"Actually..."
"DON’T! Just please, don't go on... Just let me and Princess Celestia send Rebecca back to her homeland and promise me that you never ever pull the same prank on me again."
"Okie-dokie-lokie. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
With that, she dashed off.
After some basic portal-opening and spellcasting, Twilight finally could resume her way home. She was about to open the door, when she was tackled to the ground by another crash land.
