Somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Dear Diary, It’s me again, your friendly neighborhood Discord here to report the most wondrous things my student is accomplishing! Why you would simply not believe just how well she has adapted to her new godhood. Even yours truly has trouble keeping up with her subtle yet monumental act of chaos, and she's making tons of friends with the denizens of Ponyville at that. Oh, I cannot express enough of how much good it does this old draconequus’s heart to see her grow as a person. Why I simply cannot wait to see just who she will become in the near future. I…

In the third period, I found right as I was writing, that the diary had managed to fly right out of my talons by a peculiar force of energy. It swooped me twice angrily before letting out what I assumed was a shrill screech. Afterward, the covers flapped away into an obscure corner of my spatial dimension.

Now usually this could be chalked up and considered my run of the mill chaos. But would you be surprised if the event of randomness that transpired wasn't in fact by my very own whim? Looks like someone didn't want me writing my Pulitzer winning masterpiece. The joke was on them though. I had already anticipated something like this to occur, thusly I had put a spell on the book to continue writing my thoughts and experiences discreetly. In italics of course. Wouldn't want it to be confused with the actual story now, would we? Shame though, I forgot to make the spell text pink like my stylish Betty Noire pen. Tragic I know. No matter! rather than dwell on it, I instead turned to meet my surprise guest.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” I had expected many things. Cthulu seeking his revenge, Bast seeking her revenge, Gilgamesh seeking his… How many enemies do I have in the multiverse? To my surprise, it was young Eris herself. I have to give her credit for finding me in the most unreachable regions of reality. Though… that begets another question. Looking at her more closely she seemed quite different than when I left her. She held herself with more confidence, poise, and control, and held a knowing look in her eyes that was not familiarly associated with her. Whatever it was that was different, I'm certain I was going to find out soon.

Sure enough, she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, “TANGERINE."

My ears flicked at the word, and I couldn't help but grin in delight, "Oh, oh my." I chuckled, "So it's that kind of scenario, is it. How far might I ask?" The last thing I expected was my universal code for time travel situations and phenomena. Surely this would be all kinds of fun. One last game under the belt of my existence.

“I lost count at 13,908,522,000.” She held out her talon. The book had let out another shriek before flying to her extended reach. She briskly opened the book and turned to the currently being written on page 74 and 3/4th. She then closes it to look at me. “You know, If I found out before [redacted] that you were secretly writing in that meta junk between the pages, you should know that there would probably be no dimension in this reality that could save you from my wrath.”

Apologies dear reader. No spoilers on my watch!

In response I gave her my best-wounded look, “Can’t a dying afterimage give his prize student a few departing words before I'm discorporated into nothing but disentangled fundamental particles?” Surely enough I was bombarded by a coincidental waterfall of prechewed cupcake slush, because why not?!

She giggled, "That's a good look for you."

"Don't be too amused. I haven't yet used my best material! Like a rag, I wrung myself out, until the mush turned into cups made from cake.

Before I could truly grasp the brilliance of my joke, she slivered over to me with such intent and grace that I actually flinched when she was right up in my face. Her eyes bore into me until I felt it actually burn. She’s gotten good, I'll give her that, but she should already know I would not falter or be intimidated so easily.

“It is when it is invasive” She took a step back and giggled, "Who am I kidding, privacy is dead these days."

Admittedly I was a bit taken aback by her change in mood. Eccentricity comes with age I suppose. I would know this well, “Well now, I wouldn’t say that. I just figured it was the best way to leave tidbits of advice before I eventually,” I appearified an Infinity Gauntlet on my hand, and snapped, “Bite the dust.” Suddenly my physical form scattered in an invisible gale before reassembling moments after. She smirked at the antics and sat down in a sudden lavish chair with a refreshing new car smell, “Well, enough indulgence. I did come from across time and space for a reason after all.”

With a snap of her claw we suddenly appeared in the ivory pavilion. It would have looked almost regal if not for the human collectibles and toys that scattered about the room. She truly was a product of her era.

She flashed onto her bed, giving me a small smile, “You know,” She said turning her body completely to my direction, “I got to come out clean. Your writing is terrible. Substandard at best. While it may add perspective, it tends to derail the plot and really comes off as rather juvenile. At least it will after you write it. The Jellies of the fourth dimension tend to agree that your part is simply the worst. The prologue was a nice touch though."

A glass of red wine appeared in her talon. She swirled it for a sec before draining it from her snaggletooth.

“Ouch. Tough crowd.” I loosened the tie that wasn’t there previously, “Your no literary god yourself young miss.”

Young miss?” She let out a shrill titter, “I think you’ve confused me for another. I’m afraid at this point I’m your senior monsieur. And for the record, I do have an IQ of 200,5 you know. Written several hundred published books and movies, redirected the course of history a few times and learned 550 languages. All on a second Wednesday in fact! but that's beside the point. I’m afraid to tell you all is not well in my future.” She seemed to deflate. The air felt grave. I immediately got the feeling that whatever she had to say was of the greatest importance. That whatever she was going to tell me would alter the course of history for this world forever… Which is why we're ending this log right here and get back to present day Eris. Until next time on Draconequus Ball Z! Tah tah.

Eris Log 3.

Once again I return to confide in you my super private journal that nobody else will ever read or write in ever.

I got to say, this new godhood is really quite… lets say a bit overwhelming. It’s more difficult than you think to fall out of mortal habits like eating, sleeping, feeling helpless in the face of existential doom that is patiently waiting to claim you in the end with a shit-eating grin. You just do it so often that it just becomes almost muscle memory. Now I have no use for any of those things. It's one thing to be immortal, the power that comes with it is a whole other ballgame let me tell you. I physically had to stop myself from turning that expression into a baseball gag.

The extent of my own abilities is quite daunting. I don't even know if there is a responsible way to use it! My first day I built my epic gargantuan castle straight from the mind of one Micheal Ende and then 'tamed' the former great wyrm Smaug of the lonely mountain. It’s human nature to keep pushing the boundaries, and today, well... reminded me that we weren't in Kansas anymore nope! His bags were packed a long time ago! And is now on a taxi to space with California so that he gets as far away from his abusive ex-husband Tennessee as soon as possible. You go man! Date that dorky California hunk big guy! You guys are adorable and deserve each other!

Anyway... I think I'm getting off track. Let me start at the beginning. During the party. First off, It. Was. Fantastic! Every fan of ‘My Little Pony’ knows what a Pinkie Party is. However, after that night, I came to realize that the show did little justice in showing just how many intricacies go into it. At some point, she somehow darkened the ceiling of the room and filled it with entrancing and brilliant floating orbs and splashes of 3D color that resembled something one might find in abstract paintings. It tasted like snozzberries! The music bordered on whimsical and adventurous. And the assortment of snacks and drinks was divided between an even sweet, decadent savory, and conscious healthy. Built for beings of every breath of life (Vegetarian, however. They were still herbivores after all.) Everything about this party was purely mesmerizing. It was too bad Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity had to end up leaving so early considering I wanted to get to know them better, but they all had their lives to go back to I suppose. Jobs and all that bull I guess. It was nice at least they showed up on my behalf. I was actually surprised AJ didn't have to leave for those same reasons. I guess it was her day off or something. Either that, or she was there specifically to keep an eye on me.

Since this was a party clearly advertised in celebration of my newly found country, I was approached by many ponies in regards to it. Some asked obvious things like if I was allied with Celestia, or about what kind of Government I ran, and in regards to the safety of travel through the Everfree. Some seemed genuinely interested in maybe becoming potential subjects, but not many. Others were just happy that the Everfree was under control. I didn't expect many residents of Ponyville would be that interested in moving to my realm. After all, this town was ground zero for Discord's so-called games of his. My resemblance to him was one thing, the display of my phenomenal cosmic powers I knew was a reason of its own for distrust. It also didn't help that many residents were a wee bit xenophobic, but at least some made effort to be polite.

“I wonder when the next phase of the party is going to start.” I heard a pony ponder. Phases? It was not long for me to figure out before the Pink mare appeared by the back door of the treehouse.

“Let Phase two commence!” By some strange magic, the door expanded into a large double door decorated with balloon emblems similar to her own cutie mark. Slowly and dramatically the doors opened, and everyone cheered as it revealed a pink and yellow circus tent filled with games, a dance floor, and even a petting zoo! ‘Guess she could tell the party space indoors were becoming a little cramped with the number of ponies that were still filing in.

In a snap and a flash, I made my way outside with a third of the party group. I began to feel the buzzing excitement in the small equines. A stir within my reservoir told me that an opportunity to create my kind of chaos could occur.

Without my noticing, the party mare herself stood right behind me, “Hiya! Enjoying the party!”

I didn’t know this at the time, but there was much more history to the pink (Slightly pudgy) party mare than what I expected. Firstly, to my surprise, I found that she was actually a very accomplished pony. The inventor of 736 party games in her patent, 42 cake icing recipes in her name, master of the hoof friendly accordion, and author of a book titled ‘How to Throw a Party for an Introverted Recluse!’ (Which revealed that she also had a Ph.D. in Equine Psychology and Sociology) No kidding. She owned a business called iCupcake Inc. that would throw parties like this across Equestria. The mare was well compensated for the rest of her life!

I turned around to her a little surprised, “Oh! Most definitely! This is almost like the time I visited Coney Island.”

She tilted her head. Oh right, I forgot she would have no context for that. I had also almost forgotten I had a small temperamental dragon by my side. You would figure you would always be able to notice a dragon around, but he was just so quiet and stoic after our encounter with Twilight.

Smaug grumbled a bit with a puff of smoke billowing from his nostrils. I was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t such a good idea bringing him along when there were so many unfamiliar stimuli. Knowing his rather antisocial draconic nature, he was very liable to lash out if pushed too far. The only thing I thought was stopping him from doing so now was probably fear of what I might do to him if he did.

Pinkie seemed to have honed in on his displeasure. From her curly mane, she pulled out a massive ruby the size of a human fist, “Here you go!” She handed it to him.

His eyes grew wide having been presented with such a treasure. All of his grumblings stopped as his eyes loomed over the precious rocky treat.

“Hope you enjoy Smokey!” She giggled. She bounced up to me looking bewildered at how well she managed not to get scorched with an encounter with the small drake. He hadn’t said anything, but he looked like he appreciated the gift. Tuning his head wearily, he ran off in a direction where there were not so many ponies that could potentially ‘Steal’ his treat. ‘Looks like I’m going to have to teach that one some manners.’

She giggled, “Dragons really do like their gems!” She said to me, “What is it that you enjoy?”

I pondered over it for a moment before shrugging, “Just about anything. I already had a couple of cupcakes and some punch. Really nice by the way. The Carrot cupcakes were especially decadent.”

“Glad you liked them. Hey!” She exclaimed, “You know Discord used to make cotton candy clouds that rained chocolate milk?”

“uh, yeah. You want me to make some?” Well, she still is Pinkie Pie after all.

“Would you?! That would be super fantastically spectacular!” She bounced.

With a thought, I summoned a small puff of cotton candy in the air. In a flash of edible lightning, it began pouring the chocolaty dairy fluids right into the mare’s mouth.

After her fill, she hopped to the cloud's level and instantly consumed the entire pink fluff. She seemed to have a pondering look as she did so, “Hmm…” She gulped, “De-lish-ious! but something’s way different. The milk to chocolate ratio is superseding, and the cloud sugary density is exponential!”

I was beginning to understand the nature of the request, “Checking every subtlety now are we?.”

“Yeparoonie! Can't be too sure when dealing with an omnipotent trickster!” She did a thing with her hooves, “But you passed!”

“I see.” Guess some still have their doubts that I'm not the old goat. There were certainly those who had misgivings about my presence.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Twilight visibly shaking in frustration. She was magically picking up trash that many ponies have negligently left with a bunch of garbage bags hovering beside her. Spike meanwhile was hiding from the mare in fear of being wrangled to aid in the Unicorn’s cleanup crusade.

“How many times have we gone over this Twilight?! That's not how you're supposed to have fun!” Pinkie shouted at her.

Said mare turned to us with a disgruntled look, “Not fun is everypony leaving their trash all over my house.” She shot back with a humph, “I even had trash and recycling bins placed all over the property when your employee's put up the tent. Doesn’t anypony know how to throw away their garbage!

“I can take care of that.” I said. With a thought I scanned the entire property and latched onto offending articles of mishandled disposables. She was right. It was enough to make a Highway Indian shed a single solitary tear.

Suddenly they all phased out, including the ones in Twilight’s magical grip. The entire space was once more spotless.

“wh-where” She looked at me surprised, “did you take them?”

“Should be incinerating in the sun.” I replied bluntly.

Both were silent for a moment as if expecting an and.

“... That's it?” Pinkie asked.

My brow furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean?” What were they seriously expecting?

“You know, some fwoosh! Ahhhs! Bazams! And learning stuff.”

Twilight cleared her throat on behalf of her friend, “What I think Pinkie is trying to say, is that she expected some sort of antics with good intentions that would have resulted in some sort of episodic problem full of hoof pointing, namely at you, which we would then have to resolve by the end of the day learning something about friendship.”

Pinkie bounced, “And that is why you are my personal translator!”

Twilight rolled her eyes with the faintest of a smile.

I smirked, “Does that usually happen?” I knew for a fact that it's what happened on the show. I didn't think it would actually be the case in real life.

“Pretty much.” Pinkie replied.

“It's a relief that this is seemingly not the case today. I'm really not up for running around ponyville chasing some trash beast or something."

“I'm glad I get to defend my title as the Greatest Cupcake eating champion!” Pinkie exclaimed pointing to the booth we had walked towards with a bazillion cupcakes.

“That’s a thing?” I asked Twilight. At the mention of it I felt another tug at my reservoir. Weird.

She shrugged, “She's held the title unchallenged for five years in a row.”

“And she's gonna win again this time around.” A new voice interjected belonging to Applejack.

We all turned to her, “I bet that old Carrot Top nopony can out eat Ms. Pinkamena Expert Cupcake Devourer Extraordinaire!" She put up one of her hooves for effect. "Winner owes the other 85 bits. Ought to be the easiest bits I've ever made.” she said with a smug look.

Twilight shook her head looking less than impressed, “Applejack, why would you make such a reckless bet like that?”

AJ look turned to confusion, “What ya mean Twi? This is Pinkie we are talking about! You've seen how many cupcakes she can eat. I think my investment is rather secure.”

Twilight pointed to me, “Did you think about Eris? This party is for her. What if she wanted to join in?”

Apple Jack slightly paled at that, "Er, well I mean..."

I shook my head, “Nah, let's be honest here. That wouldn't be fair at all if I joined.” I didn't even think I had a stomach, let alone a consumption limit.

Now in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have tempted fate with that comment. But my chaos reservoir apparently loved it.

Apple Jack took a deep breath of relief, but it was very short-lived.

“What just you mean by that!" Pinkie pointed to me accusatory, “Oh, It. Is. On! You get in that booth right now! Words have to be backed up by action! And I am not gonna let you flake! You're facing the Queen of the Cupcakes now and she ain't going easy on you!” totally called it.

Little miss ‘Queen of the Cupcake's’ exclamation begun to cause a crowd to gather.

“Your funeral,” I replied. Twilight just sighed, and AJ looked at me with a pleading expression, “I'll make it up to you later.” I reassured her with a wink. 85 bits was a good sum of money to lose. That's like $250 in US currency. I sure I could get her quadrillion times over what she lost. My reservoir seemed to agree with me.

Half an hour later the party at last concluded when Pinkie Pie fainted from a sugar coma. Consuming a total of 76 frosted cupcakes, she beat out the guy Carrot Top brought in who ate about 64, but at long last, her title was lifted with a record-breaking 502 cupcakes. I probably could have done a lot more than that, but I didn't want to seem like too much of a showoff, also they ran out of my favorite buttercream. As my reward, they gave me a tiara with a buttercream cupcake symbol on top. Many cheered at the ending of the Cupcake Queen's final reign of terror. “Long live the Buttercream Chancellor!” The fillies and colts cheered the elected title and giggled.

"Yes! And as my first decree as the Buttercream Chancellor, I command you all to go enjoy yourselves!" With that declaration, I created several Chibi me plush toys for them that they immediately grabbed at. They all took off giggling with their new toys.

'Least I'm popular with the kids.' I silently thought to myself.

Apple Jack meanwhile just looked to me the entire time with a baffled expression, “How... how in the hay can you eat so many cupcakes? You're like a bottomless pit!”

It certainly helps when you have literally no intake threshold. I shrugged, “Because it is improbable, most likely impossible, and definitely absurd." There's a catchphrase I can coin! "I’ll be honest, I don't even think I even need to eat, let alone have a stomach. Where it all goes is probably the least likely place imaginable. I tried to warn her, but she insisted on it."

Said pony tossed and snored, “No Maud, I am not secretly dating boulder! Why would you… snore.”

Me and AJ couldn't help but chuckled, “Well shucks, it looks like I have to go give Carrot Top her bits now.”

“Did you learned a lesson in all of this?” Twilight asked. It was kinda hard to hide that she intended this very scenario. Apparently AJ had a bad gambling streak that needed curbing. How the element of honesty managed to get a gambling problem was beyond me.

AJ looked resigned, “That it's a bad idea to gamble on a friend holding to her five-year title when faced against the spirit of chaos?”

The lavender mare chuckled, “Not how I would word it in my report, but… pretty much. Just gambling in general.” she nodded.

AJ snorted before looking to me, "So what can you offer me? Is it some gag gift?"

I smirked, "Gag gifts have no class. I got something even better in mind!" With a snap of my claw, I was suddenly encased in a lamp on the ground. I billowed from a blue smoke out of it with a lavender turban on my head, “OH GREAT ONE WHO SUMMONS ME!” I said in a booming voice, not my own, “I STAND BY MY OATH, LOYAL TO WISHES Thr… um, well, just one wish should be enough I think.” Three might have been overdoing it a bit. I tossed her the lamp, "Cue the song!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qStN2FgIKzo

At the end of it, every pony was cheering at my performance. Probably the best they have ever heard if we're going by the show. While fun and campy at times, songs on the show just could not compare to those Disney masterpieces. If this was an episode we would so be sued right now.

Then the last note from the chorus hit.

“Wow, that was mighty fantastic! So how does it work?” Apple Jack asked, her face lit up like a Christmas tree, (Resist!) while I stood dumbfounded.

I could hear the face hooves and groans resonate within the tent. Just like that everypony went back to their business, but at least it would be quite the memorable night.

I just couldn't believe it, "The whole song, was the instructions!"

"Oh..." She trailed looking embarrassed, "But I get one wish right?"

I recomposed myself to my proper form, and evaporated the lamp, “More or less. Just don't ask me to kill anyone, bring back the dead, morals yadda yadda yadda. And if it's just beyond my power, well, it's probably not something you should be asking for anyway.”

AJ sat on her hindquarters and put her hoof on her chin in thought, “What's beyond your power is probably beyond what I can imagine anyway. Well… Ya know, Granny has been having trouble with her hip lately. Ya think you could, I don’t know, remedy that?”

“I can and more.” I replied happily coining another phrase, “which way?” I asked.

“You can really do that?” Twilight butted in finally out of her reverie of musical bliss. "I mean, surgical magic has existed for hundreds of years, but that typically requires skill and detailed knowledge of equine anatomy.

I thought about it for a moment. And I felt as if I were taken over by some force, “Certainly. This isn't conventional magic after all. With chaos, there are more ways than one to heal an injury. I could treat the wound, or I could make the injury not have even happened at all. I could also reverse her age." That came out of my mouth too naturally...

Twiggles almost looked in disbelief, "But age magic can only change your physical appearance. You could turn an old stallion into an infant, but they would still be just as old. It won't actually heal them or extend their life."

Interesting... "Nah, I literally mean turning back the clock. More to do with reversing the biological timeline than anything else." As I said that, images of magical time-related formulas floated in my head. That definitely wasn't a normal thing and was a little bit concerning. Something to discuss with the old goat.

They both didn't look convinced.

I shrugged, "Hey, If I can make that,” I pointed to my tower, “in a span of minutes without breaking a sweat, I'm pretty sure it could be done with little more than an afterthought.”

“... Point taken.” They resigned.

I turned back to AJ, “Lead on. Which direction?”

“Hold ya horses there Sugar Cube! It’s far too late to be bothering Granny right now. She’s probably well asleep, and I don't want her having a heart attack in the middle of the night.”

It was getting pretty late. Through the canvas of the tent I saw the sun was lowering just above the horizon at this point.

You know, If you peer just close enough, you could actually see the golden magical energy of the princess that wrapped and tugged on the celestial orb. At just a glance, the magic involved looked far more complex than I had initially thought at first. (Something to investigate later.)

“Very well then.” I beckoned my dragon to me, and he came without a word, “Tomorrow I shall perform your miracle. You can rest assured that your Granny will be good as new hi-jink free!”

AJ's eyes were as wide as dishes, “No hi-jinks?! Gosh, that down settles it! You are without a doubt not Discord after all!”

I blinked and looked to Twilight, then back to her, “I feel you guys are just messing with me now.”

They both chuckled, “I am Sugar Cube. Question though.”

“Oh?” I replied awaiting what she would say.

“You supposed to represent disharmony and discord ain’t ya? Yet I see you done none of which I would consider… unharmonious. Sure you created a nation on a whim in just a blink of the eye, but you've done nothing harmful I think.”

I tapped my claws against my chin, I straightened. How to explain? “Well, I think you're getting who Discord was, and what chaos is a bit mixed up.”

She looked at me a bit confused, and Twilight intently fascinated.

“I’ve had a couple of days now to explore my powers now, and I think I understand it a bit better.” Really though I always had a fundamental understanding of chaos now that I think about it. In school, I always did well in chaos subjects concerning Greek literature, weather, art, thermodynamics, quantum mechanics... HOLY SHIT THEY WERE RIGHT WHEN THEY SAID I SQUANDER MY ABILITIES IN SCHOOL NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT!

Oh well, back to my explanation. “My people, I should mention are very familiar with the prospects and inner workings of chaos. When I'm creating something out of thin air,” I conjured a tiny version of myself, “What the power of chaos is not doing is creating what you see before you, instead it is creating a space where the conjuration from my mind is allowed.”

"Uh…" Applejack started.

“Let me finish. While Diddy was not wrong, how he explained it was probably a bit confusing.”

Twilight snorted as if that was a great understatement.

I continued, “What I'm really doing is I'm channeling an area of the space-time continuum into a void state.” My mini-me began to float around the two to continue the explanation, “The true power of chaos is not, in fact, creating things such as this conjuration or bringing anarchy, but of emptying spaces of rules and laws.”

I saw a glimmer in the Lavender Mare’s eyes, “And because it is connected to your consciousness, your imagination fills that void with what would otherwise be impossible to be there!” She suddenly laughed in glee, “Me and Diddy had been over this a thousand times with no results, but the way you put it just clicked! I finally understand!”

“Uh…” Applejack looked a little lost, “So then, what am I getting confused about Discord?”

“Simple.” Twilight replied for me, “This... Void state was what you called it?” She quickly looked to me, but with a reassuring glance she turned back to AJ, “is just a magical tool that erases the presence of the physical laws. Perhaps an editing tool for reality or something like that. All of that nonsense that Discord created wasn't an aspect of his power, but of his personality and what went on in his mind.”

Applejack shivered, “Then he certainly had something twisted running up his noggin.”

‘Not really.` I thought. ‘He seemed more to me as a simple trickster who liked riddles and games and getting all kinds of attention from others around him. Not unlike a child.’ course, I didn't actually know what he was like pre-reformation. I actually had to remind myself that my basis on this reality was a Y7 kids show.

I shrugged, "I imagine anyone who lives that long would grow pretty eccentric."

"Perhaps," Twilight replied.

Silence crept upon us for an agonizing few seconds, so I clapped my mismatched hands together and took a deep breath, "Well, this has been fun. I will see you two tomorrow."

"Eyup. Looking forward to it."

"Likewise."

With that, I teleported with smaug to just inside the castle right next to the… giant ornate silver orb that most certainly wasn't there before. "What the fuck?" I said under my breath. I hadn't time to contemplate it before I was enveloped in a familiar aura/

"Impressive isn't it." A voice distinctly sounding like John Delancie said behind me.

I turned to D2 with a raised eyebrow. There was no chance he created this, "Could you tell me what this is and why this is here?" I won't say that I was mad. It certainly didn't look out of place, nor did it seem obtrusive. It was quite pretty in fact, but it was its purpose that concerned me most?

"Oh, nothing. It's just a gift from you, to you. I have to say, you are shaping up to be a worthier successor than even I anticipated. Already derailing the world's natural plot on not just one, but two fronts." He emphasized, "Care to look inside?" He tried hurrying me to the orb but I resisted by teleporting behind him. Not today satan!

"Nope! Nuh-uh! No dodging questions! I do not play that game mister." I waggled a finger at him, "Elaboration now!" I always hated it when people give you the barest minimum of information you require simply for plot convenience. Those 'learn it later at the proper time' moments built up only to create cheap suspense for the audience, that you only suppose to find out at the story climax. It's a time tested formula that may in captivating me at home on TV, but no thank you! You can just stuff it, Joseph Campbell!

"Oh, your no fun." He pouted, "Fine. I was visited by your future self. Apparently there are things in her past, your future, that she wanted you to fix."

"Er... okay," Not what I expected, "What kind of things?"

"Only the end of all life as we know it. Apparently there are consequences to your arrival on the scene that even I didn't know about. Fascinating isn't it the kind of ripples you produce."

My mouth was agape, "THREE. AND A HALF. DAYS. I've been here for three and a half days." I felt a headache coming on. I groaned in frustration, "I'm going to lose my sanity at this rate. This is bullshit! You know it's bullshit.

"It's not that bad." Discord replied.

I was livid! "You want to know how much bullshit this is hmm?! I snapped my fingers and a trio of mustachioed anime singers appeared.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQyhLZsw7e4

He and Smaug blinked. "Wow." They said in unison.

"You made me bring out Carole and Tuesday! Don't you dare tell me this isn't bullshit!" After a minute I sighed, "I don't appreciate my feelings being minimized." I suddenly blinked into one of the center benches. "Remember I'm still very new to this. It's too stressful to handle so much at once. I need time."

Discord cleared his throat and looked in thought, "I... guess I can see your point." His look turned back to mischievous, "Well, if it's time you want. This orb here may, in fact, help you."

I sighed in defeat, "Okay, what is it?"

"This," he pointed to the spherical artifact, "is the Time Vault. An invention you apparently created using Magitech sometime in the future to save well, time. And to fix, live, and relive historical moments. Would you care to step inside now? It's quite delightful actually."

"That'll… be a serviceable enough explanation I suppose." I was much too far down the Looneyville hole to really deny. Honestly I should have guessed it would turn out this way. I did take up the mantle as a literal deity of the absurd!

Now on the object, there wasn't any door or seam to speak. At the touch of my claw, it began to hum strange energy.

“You’ll have to either faze or teleport inside." Discord added, "Whatever material she used for its outer shell is strong enough to survive a trip through the sun, and repels all other kinds of magic or radiation.

Paranoid much? What was so important about this object that she made it impervious to anything but a reality-altering entity such as myself… ourselves?
This was confusing. I took a step towards it feeling a hint of nervousness. I paused, turning back to him, "How did she… seem when you met her?"

"Quite charming actually. Held herself like someone in control. You were actually an impressive and imposing character, and that's coming from me."

"... Huh." Was the only way I could reply. Me, like that? I couldn't see it. Without any further delays, I fazed through the outer shell. The inside was a sterile white room with no discernible end. It was much like stepping into Morgan Freeman's house of God. I half expected him to actually show up. Certainly this place was... different. I sincerely hoped I didn't become an 'I'm greater than thou' sort of individual.

'Crap! I forgot to ask D2 about that thing!'

“Greetings Lady Eris.” An almost robotic feminine voice said from behind. I quickly spun around to meet a tall and slender White Blue Mare with stark white see-through hair. Her expression was neutral, and her eyes pale and empty. She looked almost like a sort of apparition or projection. Eerie af.

“Who… are you?” I asked.

“I am called Calliope, your artificial intelligence servant. Per instructions, I am to relay to you this message.” With that, her body morphed into a pale copy of me.

Her nonexistent expression turned into a sly smile, “Salve Eris!" She said in my voice. Oh god no! She already sounded like an asshole. "How good it is to finally get to meet you like this. Unfortunately my dear, due to circumstances I am unable to do so face to face, but that will come later down the line for you." she rubbed her hands together, "Anyway down to business. So sudden your duties I know, but trust in me that it will be well worth it. Not gonna lie, We have trouble down here in River City. It's no exaggeration when I say our appearance on the scene in Equestria had left many ripples in the time-space continuum. And those ripples have become very big waves resulting in well… total planetary annihilation."

I felt my jaw drop a second time that day.

"I have been since for centuries wandering from dimension to dimension. Looking for a way to repair the damage. I finally have a solution!" Her voice seemed to cut out for a second as she looked away, "... Already huh? Alrighty then, looks like that's all the time I have. Make sure you bring Percy here at some point. He will be critical in developing Everfree culture. Tah tah."

Before I could say anything, Calliope morphed back into her pony form.

"Holy Shit… I just got story plotted… by myself!" How in the living heck did I get like that? I looked down at the little AI, "What does she even want me to do?"

"By your command, I'm to relay to you instructions on how to use the Time Vault." With that, the silver cylindrical pillar suddenly spat a glowing orb, "Approach the globe."

I did so and it began to hum.

"The globe responds to voice command. Pick a time and place in any dimension to view."

"Um… Equestria; Present day." The globe responded by dimming down into an alien-looking planet I assumed was Equestria. The beacon of light right dab in the center of the forested area tipped it off. Jesus that is bright. Perhaps I should dim down the Ivory Tower a bit.

"Now pick a specific location."

I thought for a moment before seeing a preset on the console. Guess she wants me to see what's there "Canterlot Castle, Throne Room." With that, the white walls of the room gave way into a superbly if a little garish looking room full of stained glass windows, and sun themed banners. At the end were the two sisters on their respective thrones talking to some fellow dressed in a military uniform.

The globe suddenly turned green, "Important event detected. Relaying entire event." Suddenly the roomed rewound until the military pony spoke.

"... I'm telling you, Princess, that this is a threat to our National security. We must act now to defend ourselves against this monster!"

They didn't seem to see me. Was it me that they were talking about? Probably, now that I think about it.

Luna spoke up, "I agree with the General Sister. The situation has changed now that your Premonition has failed us."

"Premonition?" I questioned.

"Discord was clever, but he was aimless and arrogant. But this Eris seems to move with much purpose in her steps. A day since her arrival and she built a palace of palaces. With her here, the other races will call our authority into question. We should act now while we can to seal her with the elements of harmony."

Yikes! Seems I really struck a nerve with the night princess.

Celestia sighed, "Let us not be too hasty dear sister. She is powerful, yes, but I've yet to sense any malice by her actions. My premonition may be muddled and unfocused when directed at her, but I don't feel any possibilities of her threatening us. Though I am concerned about how her presence seems to be affecting my student's possible future. Her destiny what was once certainty is now clouded with new potentials." She seemed to drift for a moment before coming back, "In any case, I think that time for apprehending her has long since passed. The elements are a useful symbolic tool in keeping the peace, but they take too long to charge up and have a very limited range. Unlike Discord, I feel that she's not the type to let us have either of those opportunities."

Luna snorted but said nothing, so Celestia continued, "In any case, General Hux," His name is General Hux?! What is this the First Order?! "Dear sister, you should know that we are not the type to fire first, so enough of this talk of warring onto the Everfree."

They both nodded begrudgingly.

"Good. Now don't get me wrong, I do not trust her just yet. Her actions so far are harmless enough. We still don't know of her true intent, but reports from the Harmony Bearers suggest that she has a sort of reverence towards ponykind. My student Twilight seems to think rather highly of her in fact.”

The general cleared his throat, "Your majesty, I admit that Ms. Twilight Sparkle is a brilliant, dependable, and even an admirable mare, but I feel that the situation involves more than getting along with this creature. What we are trying to say is that her very presence has catastrophic implications for your authority. With her in the mix as a formally recognized sovereignty, your rulership will be put to question and unrest will ensue."

"The seeds of discord are already sewn Hux, and we planted them there ourselves. Change is coming whether we like it or not. Now, all we can do now is try to adapt to the problem. We should be glad that at the very least we are not playthings in her eyes." she looked down in thought before looking at the two with more resolve, "Which is all the more reason why we should pursue a strategy in diplomacy instead of trying to agitate our new neighbor. We should send for an Ambassador as quickly as possible."

Luna sighed, "Logical as always, if a bit too optimistic sister. I do believe that methods of defending ourselves against her would be wise to look into though."

Celestia gave a tired old sigh. One only felt by centuries of bullshit, "I'm not even sure if that is possible anymore. We knew beforehand that turning Discord into stone was never a permanent solution. I’ve had Harmonic and Discordant researchers look for possible means for centuries. But ponies are very ill-equipped magically to handle such a being. Not even I am capable of harnessing such a power. What's worse is that the root of our Harmony magic is now in her territory."

"Then there is not much we could do anyway is there your highness?" The General looked grim.

"Only that we stay agreeable with her, and pray to the all-maker that she doesn't turn on us."

Suddenly we were back in the white room, "Well…" I couldn't find anything else to say. I mean in fairness they were within their rights to be worried about me. But I didn't want to be feared like that! Better get some clones working on those diplomatic relations. Soon as I have a population, government, and some other third thing, I should send my own ambassador.

After playing with the globe a little bit and spying on the denizens I asked Calliope, "What else can this thing do?"

"Time Vault has many addition uses besides peering through the veil of time. Which include: Non-living item replication, Universal translator, mind reading functions, Multiversal locator, Hollow Interviewer, and a cup holder."

"I see… wait a minute."

Calliope tried to hold in a giggle but instead burst out in laughter. Her robotic sounding voice gone, "oh you should have…" she continued laughing leaving me all the more puzzled.

Once she got back to her senses she looked at me and giggled some more, "Whew, that was too good. Did you really think that you would make me lifeless and robotic?"

"Uh, well, I honestly didn't know what to think. What the hell was that all about?" My brain did backflips trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

"Oh, nothing my lady. Just a little prank owed back to you is all." She cleared her throat and recomposed herself, "Anyway, I am here to be of service to you in any way, shape or form. Simply think of me, and I shall be there." She winked, suddenly making me feel quite flustered.

So she sends me her holographic butler huh? "... Well, what exactly are you capable of?"

"Great many things. Glad you asked. I am the perfect servant in every way. Though not enough time to explain them all."

We suddenly appeared in my pavilion where I found my Drake sleeping comfortably in my bed. The little guy was all tuckered out.

"Tomorrow is a big day for you. You're to visit Apple Acres in the morning, and somewhere around noon is when Trixie will arrive in town and stir up trouble."

"How did you… you know what, never mind. I'm just gonna chill with some Netflix until the sun comes back up. Your dismissed or whatever." She nodded her head with a smirk, and with a zap, she vanished.

I appearified my living room couch and just sat with my laptop binging star trek.

I kept psyching myself out that I was dosing off, then a wave of lucidity would hit. This whole not sleeping thing was really bugging me now. When that got old after the first two hours, a brilliant idea popped into my head, and I decided to revisit the time vault,

"Earth, 38 BC, Library of Alexandria."

I was amazed when the room shifted into a gorgeous pillared chamber full of shelves that housed scrolls and books of all kinds. Human scholars were going back and forth picking books to read and to write it. It was like Christmas before Jesus. I wasn't much the scholarly type, but even I could appreciate something like this. And with eternity ahead of me, I guess it wouldn't hurt to dabble… Oh wait, I guess I did a little more than just dabble.

Something to think about later. She said I could copy any object correct? She didn't really tell me how to do it so I tried for starters in grabbing one of the books from the shelves. It just phased through my hands. "Huh." I thought for a moment, maybe voice command? "Copy all books and scrolls in the Library of Alexandria." This time I heard the device give a hum, and all at once I was crushed by 700,000 of Earth's lost great works.

I think it was sunrise before I housed them all with Calliope's help in my newly added ivory library. I may have phenomenal cosmic powers, but that doesn't mean the organization isn't still a bitch. I may have also stopped to translate and read several of the works. Man, how much faster we could have advanced if this all wasn't destroyed.

My thoughts were disturbed by a bell sound.

Calliope appearafied before me, "6:00 am. It is time for you to head towards Twilight's tree. Once you get done what you need done, you will have enough time to spare in your first meeting with Trixie, which will be around noon."

"Do we really have to keep up with timing these events? I did it all the first time around didn't I? Won't it just happen when it happens?"

"You programmed me to be punctual and to manage all your events to the minute detail. Delays or unexpected alterations to this divergent timeline are unacceptable to my lady's future self."

'I should have programmed you with a chill pill.' I only want what's best for this world, but my future self better not think she can control me. "Wake up Smaug. We'll go soon as he's about."

"As you wish. Also while you're away, I shall escort and tour any guest that may arrive. The population should be attained fairly soon. Good day." She blinked out leaving me with my scrolls.

Fifteen minutes later I see the grumbling dragon come down. Grumbling at first I should mention. He halted at the last step and sniffs the air with a quizzical look about him, "hmm, I smell treasures." He takes a deep breath and sighs wistfully at the sight, "Not gold, no, but something far more... precious. Something that only exists here, in this inner sanctum." He then grinned something sinister before looking to me, "Your light guardian said you desired my presence?"

"Yeah… we are heading back into town."

"I see; for the old crone, you were speaking of before I presume. Why a being of your power would waste their time with such inferior creatures is beyond my understanding."

Ugh! This greater than thou shit was really getting on my nerves. "In what way do you see them as inferior Smaug? Is it because they are mortal, that they are small, that they can keep a tenderness in their hearts for others?" He didn't respond. I sighed and sat down tracing a line of purple energy in the air, "We all may have different upbringings in our lives that define and shape who we really are as a people. This world is full of strange beings of all shapes and sizes, with their own thoughts and ideologies, but deep down we are all the same. Immortal or not we are all here experiencing the world in our own way. Some with more or less fortunate paths and circumstances. It is because of my power that I must never forget that really, we are all the same, and that I can actually do something to help someone who isn't so different after all."

"I think you give them too much credit. There have been many a mortal that will be tempted to take advantage of that kindness. Such charity is bound to cleave you of your head."

"I don't doubt many will try. Many will disappoint. But that is all just nonsense to sift through. You of all beings should know that diamonds are often found in the rough."

He was silent for a moment, "Not conventional treasure… but I think I understand to... some extent. I had kin once that hoarded princesses a long time ago. Created a hybrid race called the Longma. I believe they are more commonly known now as the kirin."

"Huh, interesting. I do not want the details of that eww." I heard a throat clearing and I turned to Calliope looking sternly at me. I turned back to him, "Alright then, we should be off."

In a blink, we were back at the tree. We never really talked about where to meet so here was about as good as any I suppose.

It was a good call because AJ was pacing back and forth while Twilight tried reassuring her.

"Maybe this ain't such a good idea after all. Some sort of unforeseen side effect or something that turns granny into some sort of monster or somethin."

"It should be fine AJ. She said it would be antics free." She lifted the golden apple around her neck with her hoof, "I can tell she was sincere about this whole thing." She suddenly glanced over to my general direction, "Ah, there she is now."

"Top of the mornin' to ya." I replied tipping a Victorian-era top hat. "If we are off to the farm, we better hurry. Hear there is a magic show coming to town later today."

AJ seemed to have gotten ahold of herself as if nothing happened, "I ain't heard anythin' about that, but ah do agree that getting this over with sooner rather than later is a good idea. Might as well teleport us there if ya up for it."

"Would if I could, but I haven't actually been there yet." Wouldn’t want to accidentally teleport inside a rock or something. I would be fine, but I wasn’t too sure about these two.

“Ya mean you don't know where it's at?” She asked suspiciously “Figured you already knew where everything was being a deity and all.”

I rolled my eyes, “I may be a goddess, but I'm not omnipresent. I may have an idea where your family farm is, but without a clear mental image of its location, we could end up anywhere.” Though a quick and clearer study of the globe may help with that.

“I guess.” She looked around for a moment in thought, “Very well. In any case, if you can really help old’ Granny out, my family will be in your debt.”

“Whoa now! This is me paying off my debt since I caused you to lose that bet. No need going back and forth now.”

“Helping Granny would certainly be worth a whole lot more than a few bits lost. I wouldn't feel right otherwise.”

I tried to think. Apple Jack was probably the most reliable and trustworthy pony out there. Perhaps… I could use her help with something after all, “well, how about this; put out a good word for my new nation, and I'll consider it even.”

She beamed, “You got yourself a deal! Well, I think we've dilly-dallied here long enough.”

“Mind if I come along too?” Twilight asked.

“Not a problem,” AJ said nodding.

“Very well then,” I said. I looked down at a daydreaming Smaug. I tapped him and he snapped to attention “We good?.” he nodded, “Then we're off to see the wizard!” I exclaimed.

Both ponies looked at each other then back to me, “Is there something we are not getting?” The genuine question hurt my pop culture heart.

I sighed, “Its a reference to an iconic classic film from my world. Brief Synopsis: A young farm girl named Dorothy in her house gets whisked away by a twister, and accidentally lands into a magical world right on top of a wicked witch during her rampage. She tries to get back home by seeking aid from a great wizard, and meets up with a brainless scarecrow, a heartless tinman, and a cowardly lion who all also want help from the wizard so that they could make up for all of their own problems and deficiencies, all the while getting hunted down by the sister of the wicked witch that died etc, etc… And it turns out the wizard was really just a con artist magician who made the characters realize that they really didn't have those deficiencies, but in truth had what they wanted all along.” It wasn’t a brief synopsis after all.

Twilight blinked quietly at my spiel, but AJ actually looked pretty interested, “What about Dorothy?”

“Turns out her ruby slippers were the key to getting home all along. Glinda was just a very exploitative asshole.”

"Outrageous!" AJ stomped, "If she wanted to get rid of a witch, she shoulda used her fancy powers to take care of it herself, instead of using a poor farm girl who got better things to do then hunt witches."

"You said it." Surprisingly I and Applejack get along pretty well.

By the time I finished explaining cinematography, we were finally at the farm. Honestly, it looked exactly like it was portrayed in the show. Maybe a bit more run-down looking with places where the paint peeled on the barn, but it pretty much stayed true to what Hasbro imagined.

Applejack looked to me quickly for a sec, “Should probably warn Granny before ya come in. No offense but I think she would have a heart attack at just the sight of you.”

“Understood.” Couldn't really blame her there. According to Discord I was supposed to look strange. At least I wasn't ugly.

She left me and Twilight together, and I leaned back on the fence with a smile on my face. It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing. Flowers were blooming. On days like these… “Ah fuck,” I said under my breath. I dispelled the Gaster Blaster that made a break for the Everfree. Damn, I need to get a handle on that. Luckily Twilight didn’t seem to notice. Instead, her eyes were on the sky.

There were beautiful orange and purple highlights from the rising sun. Happy little clouds were perched perfectly in the sky, and it was only enhanced by the green landscape that only Bob Ross could recreate, “How lucky am I to get to live in such a beautiful world.” I said aloud with a deep sigh.

“My sentiments exactly?” Twilight smiled wistfully, “To think I missed it for so many years buried in books. I was always too stubborn to look beyond it.”

I chuckled, “I wouldn’t necessarily call it stubbornness. You're a pony that can hold her ground. The fact that you tenaciously hold to your beliefs is an admirable quality that many I know don’t have. Not only that, but you are capable of admitting to yourself when there is evidence that you are wrong.” She slightly blushed at the compliment. I sighed feeling at peace, “It’s a good thing that you know when to view the world. What a sight it truly is.”

She smiled again, “How is it compare to your world?” She too began to lean on the fence watching the sunset along with me. “Tell me a little about yourself.”

In a flash, I changed to my human form. She seems slightly taken aback but does not comment, “To be honest, it’s completely incomparable to here. Humans are what we were called. Home was, in fact, beautiful once upon a time. We came into it both lost and confused. For good, for evil, for fundamentally being us, we altered it to suit our needs. We had cut down the forests, and polluted the air, land, and sea with smog and garbage.” The little dragon flicked his spines but turned away in the realization I hadn't called on him. I sighed, “Entire species went extinct at our hands. We’re getting better, but I doubt it will ever again be quite like this.”

She was silent for a moment, “Well, I’ll admit that is a little scary, but couldn't you do something about that?”

“I would, but I promised Discord that I would conceal my presence when visiting, and simply getting rid of the gunk and junk won't really solve the issue. In fact, since everything would be ‘magically’ fixed in that instance, it may lead to discrediting the modern climate sciences because their models won't line up, and most likely cause a push towards deregulations which will make an even heavier output of pollution.”

“Huh,” She replied. “makes sense. Question though, why doesn't Discord want you to reveal yourself to your world?”

I shrugged, “He said it was an object of fascination for him do to our ‘unique’ predisposition towards chaos. He didn't want my presence to affect it's 'development'.”

Twilight opened her mouth to reply when AJ came back, “Granny is ready for you now. You all may now come in.”

Heading down the path to the house I spotted who I knew to be Big Mac bucking the trees. He did a bit of a double-take when he saw me, but with a nod from his sister, he just shrugged and went back to work.

We came in to see the elderly farm mare sitting in a rocking chair. She was much more… decrepit looking than her cartoon counterpart, which is really saying something. Her mane was a stark white, and her fur a dull green. She had to at least be seventy of age. She looked at me with suspicious eyes, before turning to her granddaughter, “This'in had better be worth it. I'm missing my nap over this.”

“It will be Granny. Eris here can fix your hip for ya.”

She shakily got off of her chair and looked back at me with a bit more intrigue, “Can she now?” She didn't look convinced, or was that just how old people looked? “Well get on with it if you can.”

“Well, I actually have a list of options as to how to go about that,” I explained to her. I pulled a list out of nowhere which made her jump a little, earning a scowl from AJ, and began reading out the list, “Well, as option one I could simply just mend the bone fracture.” I pulled out an X-Ray of the hip, having scanned her upon entering the room, “However that would just be a temporary fix. Due to the calcium deficiencies in the bone, your very liable to break it again with ease. Option two is that I can magically enhance the bone so it won't break for a long time. The problem with that is body deterioration will end up weakening the magic keeping it together, a third option is to simply stop your body from deteriorating all together.” My brain did a double-take at what I just said. How the hell did I know all of that?

She laughed or at least I think it was laughter, “And how you gonna go about that. If magic like that was available, I'd have already rid myself of these wrinkles and weak knees long ago.”

Twilight butted in, “She could really do it, Granny Smith. This baby dragon here used to be a fully grown one who was changed by her. I saw it with my own eyes”

She looked the dragon up and down, “You mean this isn't Spike? Guess I'm goin blind as well it seems.”

The dragon grumbled at that comment. Grumbling seems to be all he does really.

“It's a bit hard to believe, but I guess I can trust dearest old Twilight here on her word. I never felt like I was ready to kick the bucket quite yet, so I reckon I'll go with the last of your options then.” She squinted at the list as if reviewing it. “If you can actually do it that is.”

I rubbed my hands together, “Awesome. Your wish is my command.”

Admittedly I hadn't really considered how flashy this process was going to get. Applejack looks like she wanted to say something when the floorboards began to shake. As my magic pooled, threads of law in the surrounding area began to snap like twigs around the elderly mare. I released gravity all around her, and she began to float.

She looked down in surprise, “Now hold on just a minute!”

Her voice faded from my mind as I began concentrating. My reservoir seemed to bubble in anticipation as I began drawing from it. The more energy I drew, the more of the strings of reality break away. I felt my hair whip with a wind that wasn't there, and my eyes glowed a yellow fiercely enough to make every pony, and dragon step back.

Note: In case you're wondering, which you're probably not since this will be read by no other being but myself, is that most things tied to reality are secured by cosmic knots we call time and space. Places like the Everfree are for the most part unfastened from these threads, which is why it is easy to get lost, and why things in it are untouched by time. This actually made it easy when it came to dealing with Smaug. Despite his magical resistance, the local surrounding disorder from the Everfree significantly reduced his defenses against me. In this case with Granny Smith, I had to use a greater power input to localize the effect radius of my influence.

As a result, purple mist completely enveloped the pony not realizing I had mistakenly entangled myself within her time stream. As an unexpected consequence, I pretty much got sucker-punched by special relativity.

The shock coursed through my entire being. My mind suddenly displaced itself in time and the farmhouse and everything in my vision faded out.

There was nothing but the desert landscape in my field of vision. Yellow sand painted with red from the bodies of war. Some were ponies and griffons, many others were of a cat race I knew of from the show. Standing in the center of it were two ponies in bronze armor. They were panting heavily. The mare began to talk. They didn’t seem like they were in the battle itself, but were just passing through and took the time to loot what remained.

The Mare suddenly stopped and looked at her partner, “Cortland, you… you sure we are doing the right thing?” The bright green Cinnamon Smith asked. The heat finally getting to her, she took off her brass helmet, the enchantment that kept it cool had worn off, and the desert sun had made it near impossible to wear. She cursed not taking her father's specially made cooling steel armor rather than this cheap Celestial Guard armor. It otherwise wouldn't have been a problem, but those seem to be the only thing they run into nowadays.

The stallion looked to her just as exhausted. His coat was a deep red, and you couldn't tell beneath the helmet, but his mane was a sandy blonde, “Don't lose heart now Cinny. We are this close to taking out the Cat's leader. We just need to take down the shields, and it's all up to the Princess.”

Cinnamon didn’t look sure, “I saw children in there Cort. If what I heard of the Princess's spell is true… there will be nothing left.”

The stallion put a hoof over her and hugged her deeply.“shh, It'll be alright Cinny. Once this war is finally over, we'll finally get our own plot of land and settle down together. We’ll plant acres and acres of Apple trees, and we’ll buck em till there is no tomorrow.

She buried her face into his neck lightly sobbing. Three years ago she had left her home to join the fight. The Cats were not an immediate threat to Equestria, but their Warlord was threatening Equestrian allies of Saddle Arabia. Everyone knew the Princess was doing this to save more lives in the end, but still…

The scene he laid out for her was just the thing she needed to hear. She ingrained the memory of his embrace into her mind. This war may have been nearing its end, but she knew very well that every battle could still be her last. Cortland was the only thing left keeping her going in these trying times. Weakly smiling into his neck, she added, “Don’t forget a couple of foals to drive us crazy all the time.”

He chuckled, “It'd just wouldn’t be complete otherwise…”

That last sentence out of his mouth echoed throughout my mind. I was suddenly encased in darkness when two dots of light sparked into existence. From them, a line of light grew branch, after branch, after branch. And like that the vision faded and I was back at the farmhouse.

Not going to lie, that was one of the strangest, trippiest fucking things to have ever happen to me, and at this rate, I doubt it would be the last. One thing was sure; I had a new respect for the Apple Family Matriarch.

Soon as my consciousness return I felt my power wane and the clopping of hooves suddenly meeting the ground.

“What the hay are you doin’ going into my personal business!” The voice of the mare from the flashback yelled angrily!

Everypony looked shocked at the mare before them. Instead of the old crone whom they knew, it was replaced by the young and vibrant mare she once was.

Applejack’s eyes seemed to pop out of her skull, “G-granny?!”

The mare ignored her and instead fumed at me, “Why I have never felt my personal privacy so violated! I could! I could! Gahh!” She bucked out with her back legs, and the Rocking chair point zero of her wrath suddenly splintered into oblivion.

She jumped back in surprise at the force she delivered, “What in…” She looked down at herself. Her eyes became as large as dinner plates. Her pain and weariness was gone. Her broken hip, gone.

She rushed to a nearby mirror in the house and gasped. She seemed almost as paralyzed as her granddaughter.

At the commotion, Bic Mac rushed in, “What the hay is…” He looked around at everybody trying to process what was going on but gave up, “NOPE!” He slammed the door shut.

“This is quite the commotion,” Smaug stated. Everyone looked at him having near-forgotten he was even there.

Not-so-Granny-anymore Smith suddenly looked down at her joints feeling them out before trotting in place and kicking out with her hind legs. The sound of the force cracked in the air. When she was done, she let out a short laugh for a second, before suddenly bursting out, “Whooee! I’m young! I’m really young!”

“Incredible!” Twilight walked around her, “It’s hard to believe that's really you Granny Smith. You almost look like you could be AJ’s sister.”

She laughed, “I can hardly believe it! I haven’t felt this good for years! I got an itching for bucking the entire orchard. She looked back to me and suddenly realizing she had forgotten something and recomposed herself. She cleared her throat, “Young lady, may I here have a word or two with you alone?”

I nodded, “Yes, ma'am.” Trying to be respectful.

She looked to AJ and Twilight, “Could y’all step out for a moment?”

Twilight nodded, and AJ gave an unsure, “Yes’m.”

As they walked out Smith called out to AJ one more time, “And fill in for your Brother an sister what has happened would ya?”

She nodded without a reply this time while stepping out. The Old mare looked back to me, “While I appreciate what you’d done for me, that still doesn’t excuse ya for invading my memories.”

I scratched my head, “I’m really sorry about that. It certainly was not my intention to do that.”

She sighed, “I never once shared with anypony my involvement with the Celestial Desert War. Not even my sons or ma Grandchildren knew of it. It ain’t something anypony should have to know.”

“If it would put your mind at ease, I promise I won’t share it with anyone.” I replied.

She nodded, “It would.” She took a deep breath. A picture on a shelf caught her eye. She walked right towards it and picked it up with her hooves. She seemed to sag a bit, “It was twelve years ago when I was told ma son and daughter in law were never comin’ back home. I was far-reaching in my twilight years even then. Everypony was already bracing themselves for me to just keel over.” She sighed, “But them three already lost their parents.

She sighed, but looked up with determination, “Well, if there's a time to test the limits of ma newfound youth, now would certainly be the time. It’ll take a while to get used to, and a lot of explainin’ to the rest of the Apple clan, but that’s somethin’ to worry about in the future.” She trotted out with newfound vigor and happier than she had been for a long time. I was about to join her when I heard a groan behind me.

Strangely Discord clone did not look amused, “And Celestia tried convincing me that most ponies wouldn’t jump at something like this.”

“Didn’t see you there D2. What's up now?”

“D2?” He furrowed his brow.

“Too much energy to just call you Discord's clone all the time. D2 seems to fit you better.”

He scoffed, “Technically I'm the only Discord at the moment. The original gave up that role.”

“Fair enough. Question I've been meaning to ask you?”

“Ask away.” He replied. With a snap of his claw, he repaired the rocking chair and seated himself in it.

“I shouldn't have known all of that. Why am I suddenly an expert on magical things?”

He snorted, “Ah yes, was wondering when that would happen. The separation of magical memories from your source of power was a… let's say complicated process. The reason we wanted to get rid of them when giving you the power was because of how damaging they are on the psyche.”

I frowned at that, “Your memories can't be that bad.”

“Whoever said that they were mine?” He asked.

I blinked at his response, “They’re… Not?”

“They are... technically mine. Remember that my entity of Discord is a being made up of a collective. One part Diddy Tune, one part Chaos entity.” He explained.

“... So… my chaos power… is a different person?” I had difficulty wrapping my head around it.

He shook his head and scoffed, “Weren't you listening? Your power is a mostly clean slate. You are allowed to be your own entire person. I thought that was clear.”

I groaned. He seemed a bit touchy today, “That's not what I mean! What I'm asking is was the chaos entity a conscious being?” God damn was he good at being annoying.

He stroked his beard, “Not as far as I know. It’s all a mostly useless jumble of info tidbits and shattered fragments of a personality. It certainly would not have served you well to inherit it. I know for a fact it wasn’t benevolent whatever it was.”

I wanted to ask more on the matter, but the front door suddenly open to what I knew to be a bewildered Apple Bloom, “Holy sweet Celestia! Discord!”

I looked back to where D2 was, only to find he was not there anymore, meaning she was talking about me, “No, not Discord, I swear!”

“Ya can’t fool me! What are you plotting this time!” She looked like she was ready for a fight, which for a small filly honestly looked absolutely adorable.

“Now that ain’t no way to treat our guest Apple Bloom!” AJ came in.

She turned to her sister and stepped back, “Oh no! Discord got to you too! Don’t worry sis, I'll go get some help!”

“Now wait just a sec!” AJ hollered trying to block her younger sister.

Apple Bloom just zipped between her legs. She got to the porch when she was stopped by Twilight’s magic. She flailed around in her grip. “Not you too Twilight! Ahh! Sompony help me!

“Apple Bloom!” AJ called out, “Now what did I say about spreading stories when ya don’t get the full picture?”

“But Discord is evil!” Bloom pouted.

“Well, it’s a good thing this ain’t Discord.” She replied looking at her sister sternly. She then changed her gaze to Twilight realizing a certain Apple wasn’t with her, “Where’s Granny gotten off to?”

Twilight gave an unimpressed look to Apple Bloom's scowl at her. She turned to her friend, “Cinnamon’s bucking trees with Big Mac. He seems to actually be taking this pretty well.”

“Then he's certainly doing better than me.” AJ joked, “I myself can still barely wrap my head around it. I asked Eris here if she could fix Granny's hip, and she makes her 90 years younger!” Something Twilight said seemed to click in her head, “... Cinnamon?”

“Wait, You didn't know that her full name was Cinnamon, Apple, Smith?” Twilight questioned.

Applejack looked abashed, “Ah, well, I..."

I shrugged, “well I wouldn't feel right if I couldn't help you all out to the best of my abilities you know.”

“Benefits of befriending a goddess.” Twilight giggled.

Apple Bloom meanwhile looked just as confused as could be.

Half an hour of explaining things to the disbelieving Apple Bloom, I saw left from the farmhouse both Mac and Smith trotting into view.

“... And that's how you prevent yourself from throwing out your back when bucking.” She chuckled, “Can't believe I hadn't noticed you bucking like that this entire time.”

“Eyup!” He replied.

“G-granny?” Apple Bloom asked her jaw agape.

Back to more explaining, it would seem. Why Applejack didn't do this the other night I may never know. Or maybe I will. I can do anything now afterall. All I know was that the day was just starting.

Author's Note

This was done much later than I thought. But it's finally coming together. I do hope you all enjoy!