Trustworthy: The Truth Behind What's Loved

Ch. 5 - Morning rituals

As my eyes begrudgingly opened, the darkness that was once there was replaced with light and the view of a fairly large amount of books (I say ‘fairly’, but I actually mean ‘shit-load’) placed on various shelves across the walls. The shelves were bigger than I was; both vertically and horizontally.

Now, I don’t know about libraries – the only times I went to a library would be at school, and most of the time it’s because of the computers – but I saw a few children books on small shelves. This one, however, was filled with books, journals and other kinds of reading material on in – yes, IN – those shelves, yet there were little to no spaces empty. I bet if you were to take the books out and put him in a single stack, you would break the world records for ‘biggest pile of books’ and ‘biggest time waster’.

I decided to just shut my eyes and go back to sleep.

I’m not a morning person; I’ll say it right now. Every time I wake up on my weekend or on holidays, I would go back to sleep. Sleep is basically my girlfriend. I love her and she only loves me at night and in the morning. I didn’t care if I had already slept twice in a day, I didn’t care if I had a game waiting for me, I didn’t care if my dog grew boobs and started talking sensually, which would be weird because I don’t have a dog.

What also contributed for that action were my dreams. I have the weirdest and the most random dreams anyone ever had. Seriously, I once had a dream about a man in a devil outfit with a trident in his hands that he used to stab his victims and turn them into hamburgers. When he looked at me, I saw Jack Black’s face.

So I just stayed there, ready for unconsciousness to overcome every inch of my body and mind with its snoozing spell, determined to have another weird dream. I like those things. Maybe I’ll dream about that talking dog with huge knockers.

Too bad something prevented me from doing so.

[Growling]

Damn it, Shadow [rumbling]

[Mumbling]

You too?

[Growling intensifies]

[Mumbling slightly intensifies, turning into comprehensive moan]

[Mumbling, mumbling, mumbling,]

[Growling intensifies intensifies]

[Getting tired of this mumbling]

[Growling unintensefies, yawns]

[Mumble-like words, sounding like some sort of short speech]

You do have a point there, but [Grumbles in question]

[Stretching sounds, bones snapping]

Okay then.

With a not-so light fling of my sheet to the side, I sat on top of my couch, yawning. As I did that, I heard a rather loud thud and a book falling from behind. Telling myself it was just my imagination playing pranks, I stood up, blocking the light with my hands, and walked up the staircase into the bathroom to take a shower and possibly shave (I hope I don’t need it, I love my manliness).

When I mentioned shower, I immediately noticed the smell of dirt, blood and sweat, that made me flinch and cover my nose in disgust. Normally, I would have no problem with those smells individually, but put them together and you might have uncovered the secret of stink bombs. The CIA might be on my ass after this discovery, and if they find me, I’ll make sure my body will be ready.

Why does it sound like wood when I walk? I got to get new shoes or something; it is REALLY making a noise.

As I reached the bathroom, I mindlessly opened the door. Being in a state of ‘I hate mornings’ – grumpiness, I think is what they call it – I didn’t notice that someone was already taking a shower. I think it took notice of the shadow that I casted over the curtains, and it stopped what it was doing to look at me.

With a lazy wave of my hands, I pushed away fog that was covering my visions, using my other hand to take off my shirt and jacket. Throwing those two items on the ground, I opened the curtains of the tub to get in, only to find myself staring face to face with a purple pony.

No, wait… yep, that’s a horn. It’s a unicorn.

As we stared to each other eyes, I studied her features for a second; she had purple coat with a dark purple mane with a single pink highlight, with her tail matching her mane. On her flank adorned a six-pointed star with tiny sparkles around it. What really took me back were her eyes; they were HUGE… and purple. She was also naked and wet.

But I had to stop when a thought suddenly came to me that caused me to start paying attention to everything and snap me out of my current state.

I don’t have an upstairs bathroom.

She screamed-

Screeched.

-at the top of her lungs, which caused me to scream, which caused Shadow and Heart to scream. I turned back to run, but as I reached the stairs, a small light purple and green obstacle made me fall down the stairs, hitting every single step like a damn cartoon, yelling profanities as I did.

Reaching the final step, I became a scorpion; my legs were touching my shoulders, and I’m pretty sure I cracked a few teeth on my landing.

“I hate mornings…” I muffled out before I welcomed back unconsciousness.

Me too.